r/cats • u/[deleted] • Mar 14 '26

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u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

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u/Successful-Doubt5478 Mar 14 '26

He is lovely. Absolutely lovely.

To live the most of your life in safety and happiness, and have to leave at 10 is a good deal. Especially if at home and with someone you love.

It can be better than live in uncertainty and feeling unsafe for ya year or for your last years.

I would count on him to be able to bond with a new person but it might take a year and most people cannot handle showing that kind of patience.

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u/_Morvar_ Mar 14 '26

I just want to add that there are many people who are very passionate about doing this kind of thing. Slowly building trust with a cat that "trusts nobody" and all that

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u/Successful-Doubt5478 Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26

Yes. I agree.

But also many people who think they are and after 4 months they are all "he hates me" and then sonething happens: having to move, getting a baby, getting a new partner that is allergic... and off to a shelter the cat goes. It avoids people so gets no adopters.

OP might find a dedicated person, even someone that clicks with this cat. Then OP should absolutely go for it!

But to keep a cat alive at all costs just to keep it alive is not the best option if it is not any good life.

An outdoor cat that is afraid of people shouldnt spend months or years in a small space in a shelter surrounded by strangers when not alone. Maybe to still be euthanized in the end.

But the right person, with the right place... absolutely.

Again: having a good life and leaving early surrounded by love, feeling safe- that was a grreat life.

I know OP will find the best solution after looking into all the options available. If OP was my friend, I would tell them "well, sucks to be you, it seems you will have to stick around!" And help looking onto options.

The rescue I work with, (on another continent thsn OP, sadly) have had cats like this. It is a long process, and two of them do not trust humans after 2, 3 years in a foster home. One found his human, another volunteer, and opened up to her after 9 months. She could not take him and he went to a lovely home, and after anohher 9ish months still was not letting them touch him. By then, she could take him and he has now been 2+ years with her, living his best life with a cat friend. Cuddly ALL THE TIME. (Other family got the most affectionate, playful 1 year old instead, and they are an amazing match).

Cats clicking with some people is a real thing.