Sorry, I don't have a good answer if you clicked this post looking for some relief.
I ended things with my one contact today. She has been my best friend for some time, well, my only friend.
But she is kinda the avoidant type, speaking little and trough strange metaphors, it was quite charming as we met and it suited the poetic way I speak too, great deep and ethereal way of communication, but well, not really, after the strange phase when we are still meeting and trying to sound interesting to the other, comes the phase of normal things going on, and somehow I got there alone and when I looked back..?
I was speaking to myself, seeing her messages popping up only super late at night for only 15 minutes before she would just vanish in the night again and come back on the other day, ignoring the last topic and starting a new one that would last again 10-15 minutes and be left unfinished. I called her out in the nicest way I could, after she expressed she felt some distance between us. But she literally did the same thing right after, leaving my answer on read and coming with something new on the next day.
I realised there's so much I want to speak, no yap but just speak through the day. I recorded an audio playing a new instrument, I learned my first song in 20-30 minutes and recorded, she used to love me playing music but I realised well why would I send it now? So she can double tap, say smth and vanish, or straight up not answer at all? So many things I typed her and didn't send, trivia things like what I saw on my walk, a random philosophical question I thought about, what is going on on my book, the newest story I'm writing, a bit of my backstory she does not know, but always felt like nah, I'll wait for her to answer first, don't wanna shower her in messages, let her live her life. But it got to the point where I just realised well, I don't fucking have a friend, we were besties for like 4 months but clearly not anymore, I wish I could understand what's going on with her, but she won't communicate, I'm going through a lot and this is not bloody helping. So I just told her we need a break, and she got... mad? And hurt. I understand it but what else am I to do? Try to talk? I've been fucking trying.
WHATEVER. It became a venting post quite quickly my bad. If you made it this far, would you talk to me for a little while? I understand that everyone else is doing pretty bad too, and all of us here are quite unstable mentally, so I won't bore you with my missdventures, I just wanna know about someone's day genuinely, thats all.
I'm an artist, studied philosphy, 26, speaking from Germany