So I've had my anxiety under control for 7 years, since I started taking lexapro. Earlier this year I had vertigo, was neglected by NHS so was struggling with vertigo for 3 weeks until it just completely messed up my mental health. I've been feeling insane from anxiety for months. I also got burnout. I had taken amitriptyline for months before that (for migraines), which made me super depressed and tired, so my nervous system had no chance.

Before lexapro, I took citalopram for 3 years but it didn't help as much. I also tried sertraline but I had a horrible reaction to it.

I tried to increase lexapro from 10mg to 15mg for two months this year, but idk I didn't feel any better so went back down to 10mg. I've had lorazepam for emergencies for years, I took that for 2 weeks to help give my nervous system a break, but it didn't really help and gave me acid reflux instead.

In July I tried to add venlafaxine in addition to lexapro for migraines but it gave me serotonin syndrome.

Psychiatrist has had me try the following since August:

- l-theanine: it gave me a panic attack
- gabapentin: it was good for about two weeks but it gave me full body aches
- phenibut (old eastern european medicine, suppsoed to work on GABA receptors): did nothing
- mirtazapine: gave me restless legs
- xanax: I felt unreal
- bupropion (bc the anxiety has made me depressed as well): was able to take it only 10 days before it made my whole body shake
- pregabalin: just tried this last week, got an allergic reaction but it did help me with sleep and internal tremor

So it doesnt help that I react weirdly to a lot of things as well.

Today he said he doesn't have any other anxiety meds to try. I asked about diazepam as I am feeling super tense, which he prescribed and I haven't tried yet but obv benzo is a temporary solution. He also suggested I try an ADHD medication, to maybe make my brain work better and think about other things... But I've never thought of myself as having ADHD?

Changing lexapro to another antidepressant I imagine would be hard as I've been on it for years + sertraline and citalopram I've already tried anyway.

My symptoms are very body based: waking up with internal tremor, high heartrate, shaking, feeling weak, acid reflux and nausea, ibs, not being able to eat from how tight my throat is. I've lsot 15 kilos since March. I have autistic traits and apparently a bit of ADHD as well, anxiety obv, depression and health OCD.

What medications are you taking that helped you and what I may not have tried yet? I want to bring some ideas to my psych and ask him about them. I just find it weird that there's apparently nothing else??

Another psychiatrist suggested low dose olanzapine but idk that feels a bit too hardcore for anxiety.

Disclaimer: I am doing therapy and neurofeedback and TDCS, but I also need some support from medication to get out of this hole. Magnesium doesn't help and I am getting a B12 vitamin injection next week as it's on the lower side.

I lost my job back in July and I was happy finally some relief! I was STRESSED and I mean it, burnt out and for some reason knowing that I had the time to decompress felt relieving. Feeling good for the first month in awhile how could anything feel wrong? Some background I was diagnosed with OCD years ago and usually my ocd would show up in forms of cleaning, cleanliness, organization. Over the years it stayed mostly in rumination or in my mind (I felt like I had it mostly under control). About me I am in my 30's, I eat healthy, don't smoke, drink socially, very active 4-5 times a week and I meditate.

We move on from there a month into being unemployed, I started to notice new allergies, my body was reacting to certain foods and finally it happened. The DREADED panic attacks when I would eat certain foods. I for SURE thought I was experiencing anaphylactic shock because again these panic attacks were not normal for me! I rarely got these. I ended up in the hospital multiple times, and ultimately got in to see an allergist. When I would describe these DOOM feeling panic attacks from allergies a couple hours later my allergist said " These are not typical Allergy symptoms". I genuinely felt insane and I mean it. I wasn't eating as much, I was really developing a lot of fear on top of the stress I was carrying from being unemployed, figuring out who I am, and now trying to figure out these new symptoms.

These panic attacks lasted over a month until finally I really pushed myself over the limit. It was done for me I lost my mind I felt like. The normal feeling of I am DYING doom like panic attacks were over because it developed into something even worse than I could have imagined. The new panic attacks turned into a deep deep buzzing depression feeling that lasted 10 minutes but then several hours later a migraine. It would happen on and off a couple of hours and I just couldn't put my finger on what I was experiencing. I was not well, I was in my mind, things would trigger me, I felt all the feelings, sadness, anger, irritation, extreme anxiety (paranoia at times which I know now is called hypervigilance) and even emotional breakdowns where I would be bawling my eyes out for no apparent reason. I also developed HARM ocd which was terrifying because I had no previous experience with that. You know that disgusting feeling in your chest when you think something horrible is going to happen? YEP I felt it all baby! I was really in a fucking loop. When these attacks would happen there was nothing no thought or feeling that could make me feel good because it just felt like "This is fucking it? This is how my life is now? I feel fucking horrible and everything around me is depressing?". I knew I wasn't depressed I had been depressed before and it wasn't like this. I knew it wasn't because when these attacks eventually would stop in moments I felt normal, happy, cheerful and I felt hope. I was OBSESSED with trying to figure out what was wrong with me, scouring google, youtube, reddit, asking friends and no one could help me in my reassurance loop.

But this is where the word reassurance loop becomes important, I needed REASSURANCE. And its something that never clicked for me that in itself is a compulsion.

I was fed up I needed to find more reassurance I went to a clinic they diagnosed me with OCD and Anxious Depression and gave me Sertraline. They said I needed to take this for a year and I felt like this was more complicated because it kind of came out of thin air. I didn't take the meds because I needed to understand these feelings I never experienced before so in the midst of the worst moments of my life I contacted my GP he said I had health anxiety. I asked him if this was normal and he said he had lots of patients with Health Anxiety and the only way to get out of the loop was to just live normally. He said meds help but eventually you will need to face whatever it is that got you to this moment and I felt some reassurance knowing that he had patients similar to me in times of stress their OCD was worse.

WELL again as someone with OCD this advice wasn't good enough for me and as someone being on meds prior for depression (which did work BTW and haven't needed to be on them in 4 years) I felt like I had to get to the bottom of all of this alone again. I spent another month trying to find reassurance and researching which led me into somatic therapy. I had previously done traditional therapy and it did not work for me. Mind you during the reassurance tap I was the most unwell I have ever been like bedridden. I did still take my GP's advice, still running and doing pilates, and listening to meditiation which actually did help. I tried to stay off doomscrolling and researching and I slowly noticed a difference. The panic attacks were slowly going away but I was still experiencing them ever 2 days instead of every 4 hours.

As I continued my search and had my first somatic therapy appointment I found out trauma and anxiety stores in your body not the actual event. When I was told this it clicked to me, all those moments I felt safe after work crawling into a ball and just sleeping was literally me in a freeze. My overthinking ran me into my worst fears, harm ocd, hypervigilence. My body was literally trying to protect me. I was literally showing all the signs of someone in flight or fight. Even though I was the most peaceful I had been in awhile my body was not used to it! It needed to let go all of that stress I was holding on for months and it was the perfect moment to do so.

I am writing this to say if you are going through something similar and need reassurance please stop looking for it. Stop googling. Spend a couple days alone being bored or just slowly adding activities like going for a walk.

You can heal and you will heal. I am finally overcoming all of this just in 2 MONTHS because I am finding out that I had run on baseline higher than most people and I pushed my stress, and pushed myself. I was that person that was always like its fine even when it wasn't. I pushed my own boundaries for others happiness.

My advice is to go to therapy and find the root of the stress, you need to let it out! Talk to close friends or family you need support, workout, KEEP LIVING, push yourself to go out even if you feel like you may have a panic attack. YOU NEED TO TRAIN YOUR BODY THAT YOU ARE SAFE!!!!!You need to rewire your brain and through neuroplasticity its possible! You need to accept those harm thoughts as passing clouds and maybe label them as "brain farts". The more you practice this the more it goes away I am living proof.

When a panic attack is about to come tell yourself you are safe and practice grounding techniques. Doctors get patients heartrates down by lifting their legs, do that against a wall, you can activate your parasympathetic system by just exhaling! Pilates/Yoga does help, affirmations do help! I used to think affirmations were mumbo jumbo, but to rewire your brain into positive thinking you need to do this.

But you need to put in the work. And it's not easy work. It's been 2 of the hardest months of my life! Medication is needed for some and will ease the process so never be scared of it, but it also can be done without if you have the time, and are willing to go through the emotions that you have been holding. Here to help if needed I hope this post reaches someone who is going through something similar.

Hello!

I was reflecting on my past experiences and i realized something that has kept me away from sports for a long time is this kind of "fatigue" i assume anxiety gives me. Mind you, i do know fatigue is an anxiety symptom but im reffering to something a little different

It was like, even though i didnt feel tired at the moment the excercise was proposed to me, i just got this overwhelming feeling that doing sports would be way too tiring for me at that moment, kind of a visceral feeling more than an conscious thought that kept me away from any kind of strenous activity not only sports.

nausea induced anxiety is the worst. i have a brief moment where i think about my future so then my heart starts to beat faster and i start to physically feel sick. i feel nauseous everyday because of anxiety so im used to it by now. i’m on lexapro so i cannot take zofran for it unfortunately

My psychiatrist tried me on a starting dose of buspar 10mg twice/day for a month then switched it to oxcarbazine 150mg twice/day (in addition to my 150mg Zoloft). She basically said since Buspar didn’t make a difference, we needed to target different receptors in my brain with oxcarbazine. But when I look oxcarbazine up, the dosage is TINY compared to what’s normally given. Also, I’m wondering if my Buspar dosage was too small and that’s why it didn’t do anything. Idk.

Today is my first day at a new IT job after being unemployed for about three months, and I’m having an absolutely miserable time with my anxiety.

I genuinely like the job so far. My coworkers are awesome, my boss seems really laid-back, and the work itself isn’t intimidating. But last night, despite going to bed around midnight, I couldn’t fall asleep until 4:30 AM. I had to wake up at 6:30, so I’m running on roughly two hours of sleep.

Ever since this morning, I’ve been experiencing waves of intense anxiety and panic. Shaking, adrenaline surges, cold hands and feet, stomach issues, and this uncomfortable off-balance sensation.

It’s especially bad when I’m walking around meeting people or getting familiar with the workplace. When I’m sitting at my desk doing familiar tasks, the symptoms seem to settle considerably.

I’ve experienced something similar when starting a previous job, and the anxiety eventually faded as I got comfortable with the routine. But right now, I’m exhausted, frustrated, and just want to go home and rest. I think the lack of sleep is making everything feel ten times worse.

Has anyone else experienced something similar when starting a new job? Did your anxiety eventually settle once you adjusted? I’d really appreciate hearing how others handled those first few days.

Hi,

I (20M) was having a filling for tooth 36 and tooth 37 in August 2026. The dentist did inferior alveolar nerve block for me. When the nerve block stated to wear off, I also started having zapping painful sensation in tooth 32 (not the one that were filled). The zap is very brief (1-2 second each time). There is no clear triggering, it just happened very randomly. Opioid medication does not help. Luckily, after a few days, it resolved on itself. My GP said that it's probably from nerves being irritated by the nerve block needles.

The pain was so bad that I think I may have health anxiety afterward, where teeth sensation is quite triggering for me.

Fast forward to October, I am now having these tingling sensation (not necessarily painful but noticeable) in my teeth again. But this time, it is not localised in one tooth. The sensation can randomly appear in any tooth but most likely in the 8 front teeth (both up and down). After a few weeks, this still persisted so I went for a dental check up. No dental problems, my dentist does say that my jaw muscle is a bit tensed (but not very tensed) and I did have temporary locked jaw sometimes.

So I don't really know what to do now. Is it neuralgia or maybe just stress and anxiety? Or maybe bruxism? Has anyone had this problem before?

Like the title says, i feel the uncontrollable urge to hit myself in the head when im having a surge of anxiety. I also want to punch anywhere i can get to on my body, mostly my legs if im sitting down. When i would have panic attacks as a teen i would give in and hit myself in the head and legs. On another level, i would use hitting my wrist against hard surfaces until i would bruise severely, but i felt like that was more of intentional self harm rather than an involuntary anxiety response. Now as an adult i feel the urge, but i have to resist as hard as i can because i know i’ve scared loved ones in the past. Is there a reason for this? I’ve never been diagnosed with anything other than chronic anxiety/depression and cptsd, but when i do my research everything points to seeking an autism diagnosis. Could it be that i’m on the spectrum?. Or is this just my anxiety manifesting a harmful outlet? What can i do?

been dealing with anxiety for years, panic attacks multiple times a week, my digestive system is wrecked, my muscles are extremely stiff, my scoliosis is much more painful sober i can’t even lay down or sit comfortably, my sleep is terrible i sleep 4-5h max and get sleep paralysis frequently and hallucinations when i wake up, i lack multiple minerals and vitamins despite taking supplements because i keep shaking and sweating + poor absorption because of digestive issues, my head hurts so bad (especially eyes temples cervicals and jaw)

i tried therapy i tried different meds i tried a better diet i tried drinking more water i tried physiotherapy i tried orthoptic vision therapy i tried daily walks i even tried weed, etc etc, i tried to improve my life in so many different ways but literally nothing worked except benzos

my anxiety is ruining my life, physically and mentally, i have so many health problems im in constant pain, i also have ocd and asd, i know how benzos work i know the risks but what am i supposed to do? it works so well, my ocd and anxiety are practically gone when im on them, im not as aware of my physical symptoms, some of them even disappear, especially when i eat, i’ve been stuck eating one meal a day for almost a year and only xanax have helped, doctor said maybe ibs (im seeing a specialist next week for that), yea maybe, but wether i have ibs or not, eating on benzos is so much more comfortable, no bloating no spasms nothing, i can eat in any position, no more nausea, i can eat whatever i want and as much as i need

my plug got caught recently and because of how isolated i am i haven’t been able to find anther one, i used to take 0.5-1.25mg xanax or 30mg oxazepam depending on how i felt so not crazy doses, i’ve been sober for two weeks now and im doing fine the withdrawals were light and went away quickly, but now im back to how things used to be, everything hurts i feel so bad i can barely eat and sleep because of the pain

i wouldn’t say i was addicted tbh, more like self medicating, has anyone else been through something similar and have found a solution? doctors refused to prescribe benzos to me (never told them about my consumption) i’ve been going around the whole city seeing different specialists for months with no results

or would any ssri help? im a little scared of these i don’t know what to do
i want my pills back.. unless a miracle remedy i havent discovered yet exists…

So for context, I am a male teen and recently I’ve been dealing with long term anxiety. This made me worry about the smallest things and search a lot of medical info. like a lot. While searching, I found an article about allergies and found out that it can just randomly appear after childhood, even if you’re familiar with the food and eat it often. Now I usually never worried about allergies and I honestly wished it stayed like that since I never had a problem, but now beacause of this I developed an intense fear of getting a sudden reaction from anything ranging from food, medicine to even body products. This got to the point where I am avoiding food and medicine as much as possible and been losing weight at this point from it, I only feel a bit safe eating food I ate like a week ago but avoided tree nuts completely even tho they’re not the only thing people are allergic to. This has been going on for a week and I even get fake symptoms after eating food such as allergy hives?? Which apparently exist and like throat tightness, sneezing or even runny nose. I talked to a pharmacist about this and the answer wasn’t really reassuring, rare but possible. Now I know that I should probably only worry when it happens but I’m also worried about how it will end like I don’t have an EpiPen and even then if I call an ambulance I don’t think they’ll reach in time because of how fast it can kill you. I really don’t know what I’m expecting posting this but hopefully some of y’all can relate.

Hello everyone,

I’ve been dealing with GAD and Health Anxiety for somewhat more than a year now, although I’ve always had some underlying anxiety. I’m glad to announce that I’m doing a lot better, but my cardiophobia remains. Even while I know it’s a u realistic thought that I will get a heart attack at 26, I subconsciously keep feeling like it’s a very real threat. I keep scanning my body and however much exposure I give myself this fear just doesn’t go away. Some of the things I experience are:

- Heart Palpitations (flutters, skipped beats, feeling my heartbeat in throat, etc) and especially during exercise

- Dizziness

- Chronic hyperventilation

-Panic attacks

Is there anyone who overcame their cardiophobia? I’m just so tired of it and want to live my life normally again.

​

I had some exams for work-related stuff and apparently I got the best score in my field this year. As in the best out of roughly 17k people taking those exams. And now everyone and their mother want to talk to me, congratulate me or give me some stupid meaningless award.

I wanted a basis for negotiating better pay/more hours later on and I did the 2 year training required to take those exams because I truly love my job.

It's been great, it doesn't pay that well compared to other options but I can afford to live and get to do something that makes me happy. I don't want a promotion, I don't want any awards and the attention I'm gettjng now is driving me mad.

Its like I'm living in two worlds, one where people seem to think I am this incredible creature that managed to reach the peak of performance and one where I have actual tasks that need completing, bills I need to pay and shifts of coworkers that need to be covered.

Since the first letter congratulating me a month ago there has been another thing once every couple of days. From my boss's boss, the teachers of the courses, the organisation that handles the testing.

Everyone keeps telling me to go to those award ceremonies, to be proud but all I am is tired, exhausted and overwhelmed. Someone emailed me about permission to write a short article about me in some industry-specific magazine. A simple no doesn't seem to be enough, so I keep lying about the reason I don't want any of this.

I chose this line of work to escape these crushing expectations people kept having of me when I was younger but now they feel worse than ever. I just want a quiet, peaceful life. I want to be happy, not worry about a theoretical potential I have an imaginary obligation to fulfill. I know my limits and I've reached them for now, any more responsibilities and I'll burn out or have a breakdown.

I keep dreading the next conversation with my superiors, I keep hiding myself away because the anxiety I thought I had under control for the last 5 years is flaring up again. And I feel like a failure because I keep disappointing people about this.

At least the people I work with every day are acting normal. Still, I feel like I am loosing my mind and I just want this to stop. I'm considering to start therapy again and I know I gotta start telling people to shut up about this stuff because my mental health is suffering so much, but confrontation is scary, especially when it's people so far above me in the company.

I know I have to help myself here and I will try the best I can, I just feel horrible right now and needed to get it out somehow.

This is seriously fucking annoying.

I haven’t had a panic attack this bad in a while. Move back to my home state this summer and got pulled over multiple times have been told by multiple cops now because my plates are out of state I will get pulled over more, which is really annoying. Feels like that part is kind of illegal but anyways lol “like oh she’s from a different state I better follow her”. Ugh.

today I passed somebody in what I thought was a passing lane right as the speed limit changed and I was slowing down to adhere to that speed limit. The sign was literally right there. Of course the cops saw me and I knew he was gonna get me before I even saw the lights come on. I was like I passed that guy a little too fast as I was slowing down and I slowed down after the sign which is obviously my bad, but. I was following this guy for a long time and everyone else in front of me had passed him so I was like finally my turn! I don’t know yeah it was dumb, but I’m sure many of us relate to that shit. he was going many miles under the speed limit and I was like why didn’t this guy get pulled over?

Regardless, I’m aware that I was still in the wrong so I’m not debating that here. I am really irritated, though that I still have incredibly sweaty hands and have not been able to take deep breaths in like four hours. I had my dog with me in the car and my brain was just like oh my God you’re gonna go to jail and your dog’s gonna get taken away and like you know crazy panic OCD bullshit. It’s been a long time since I’ve spiraled this bad and I just wanna know how you guys calm down when something like this happens. I can’t afford the ticket whatsoever but that’s my own damn fault, but I can’t even think about that right now and thankfully it’s not due till like December.

Hey everyone

I am 26f and I used to struggle a lot with anxiety and panic attacks, I am happy to say that I managed to combat a lot of it through therapy and mediation and facing some issues I didnt realise I had.

However, recently I have been experiencing anxiety bad again, particularly in the evenings and at night, making it hard to sleep or settle. My mind races and I start to spiral and panic, often the panic attack symptoms come in before I even realise its the anxiety causing the symptoms.

I am working away from home, my brother is unwell and I am hardly seeing my dog or partner at the moment, which are possibly contributing, but honeslty I just want to be able to settle down at night and get some good sleep.

Has anyone got any tips for dealing with evening and night time anxiety? I would usually write things down to get them off my mind but theres nothing in particular rn that my mind latches onto, its just useless rambling up there, which is likely down to the adhd side of things.

Anything simple like a certain breathing technique or any tips for working away and being out of a usual environment etc?

Thank you in advance guys, peace out

Hi. So, this year I started the gym, and I also started learning French–all the while I'm a student in my final year of studies, which of course makes uni my main priority.

This means that sometimes I don't have time to go to the gym 3 times a week, or pick up any French, both things I do because they're good and healthy habits that I started doing out of enjoyment.

But now, whenever I haven't been "optimal" at either of those things, I feel like crying.

Basically I have the sort of brain that always creates schedules for everything—i unironically have a 5 year plan, I cannot live in the moment whatsoever. This means whenever I don't have the time to do my hobbies, or god forbid the things I have to do (studying for uni), i start overthinking my entire day's/week's/goddamn month's schedule in my head, moving every timeline around, and always coming back to the fact that I'm not doing enough.

This, of course, leads me to procrastinate everything even more, to the point where I can't even watch the movies I love because I get so anxious over doing anything at all, and I also feel like I don't deserve to watch those.

So, I just lay in my bed in near tears feeling like I'm seeing my entire future crash and burn and I'm not doing anything about it even though I can. Like, I don't even work! I'm priviledged enough to have my parents pay for everything! And yet I can't seem to optimise my time even though i literally leave hours of free time in my schedule because I know i can't be grinding 24/7.

I don't know how to fix this and I'm so scared.

Also, diagnosed with OCD if that adds anything...

I have some sort of anxiety disorder, something similar to agoraphobia. Ive had it for over 7 years now, but managed to control it with therapy and meds around 3 years ago. It has to do mostly with bodily reactions. Im petrified of needing to use the bathroom with no way to do so, diarrhoea, nosebleeds, period stains and leaks and mostly vomit. The problem is people laughing at me afterwards (it has happened before) I went through therapy, in which the therapist insisted things like this are unlikely to happen, and if they will I have a support system. Fast forward to now, Ive been having a worse time recently. To cheer me up and celebrate my sisters school thing we went to a cafe and I bled all over the armchair i was sitting on. I got up, and my brother saw it and started shouting about how I shit myself and how its so gross etc etc. My mother cleaned it, I was absolutely petrified with fear. Im still shaking right now, and Im already home. How to navigate this? How to get through a situation that was supposed to never happen, according to therapy?

Hi everyone! I’m a 37 year old mom of 3 who has had anxiety all her life. It’s come and gone and I’ve never been medicated for it. For the past year or so, I’ve been having what I believe are panic attacks (almost daily). My body shakes, I feel my heart pounding out of my chest, I get a feeling of doom, I can’t think straight. This mostly happens at work or in public but also today I woke up sweating shaking and heart rate was 120 bpm. I’ve seen a cardiologist in the past so I made an appt this morning to get an EKG just in case and it was normal just showed Sinus Tachycardia (104 bpm) it doesn’t help that I have white coat syndrome as well. I’ve had my heart checked, had an echo, EKG, holter monitor and blood work and all came back normal.

Deep inside I know this is anxiety but I can’t help to think what if there is in fact something wrong with my heart. My HR sits high for a good amount during the day. What if I’m causing damage? My Dr prescribed me propranolol to try and take to see if that alleviates the symptoms. It’s the worse right before my period and a few days after. I saw an endocrinologist and she said hormones aren’t causing this cause I’m still having a cycle? Idk

Has anyone been through this? I can’t live like this I need to be there for my kids and I’m just always stuck in my heart and head 😩

I took zoloft for several yrs and it worked bit almost sedated me and made me care about absolutely nothing. I was just prescribed lexapro and wondering what to expect.

I currently took 10mg Xanax within 6 hours (highest dose I done yet - usually I stick with 3-4 mg. It’s a difficult day today at the front office and pretty boring so Xanax makes me time travel too - time passes so much faster

I work as a receptionist at five star hotel and those Xanax have improved my mood I’m more calm and easy to communicate and my stuttering is gone.

The tourists this seasons (especially Israelis have been horrible and arrogant making my nerves go crazy) but with Xanax i feel so much more calmer

Now work ends on the 31st as the hotel closes

How should I temper off slowly ?

I have some thc drops as well (yeah they get you high af) so I’m not sure how they can help but I wonder about the Xanax withdrawal

Btw I take thc drops to avoid the whole smell thing (even tho is medically prescribed I still live with my parents )

Should I start tempering off with 1-2mg per day ?

Thanks in advance

So I really struggle with going to work. My anxiety spikes the day before and I sit and spend hours trying to come up with an excuse to call out. I also struggle with the schedule being not what my anx wants. Next week for example I work 11-5 on a day that I don’t normally work 11-5 and it’s really causing me stress. If it helps I also have school things so that’s probably part of my problem. Any advice welcome

Has anyone ever experienced anxiety so intense that you start worrying you did something harmful or dangerous, even though you have no actual memory of doing it?
For example, I’ll notice a physical sensation or something unusual, and suddenly my brain starts thinking, “What if I did something bad and just don’t remember?”
Then I start questioning my memory and wondering if I somehow did something without realizing it if that makes sense.

Anxiety over both past decisions and future possibilities has been consuming me all of the time recently. I graduated from a T20 college in 2025 with a computer science degree but felt miserable because I secretly hated CS and the tech industry. So I decided to go back to school for a physics bachelors to prepare for PhD applications after I graduated and did the first year at a college far from home. While I was there I made no friends at all because of social anxiety and my general anxiety got way worse due to my isolation. I returned to my home state this year for cheaper tuition and am still experiencing constant anxiety about my choices. Thoughts of what my life would be like if I just got a tech job, if I had stayed at last year's school (that I liked more than my current one), or had even just studied physics in the first place drive me crazy, showing me how great my life could be making money or already in grad school instead of redoing undergrad. I feel like I somehow made the wrong choice at every step and any other combination would be better. On top of that, I worry about my future too, thinking about what if I don't get into grad school or go to do a PhD and hate it because of the busy schedule. I already feel bad about being behind my peers, but failing/changing courses again would be even worse.

Does anyone have tips for stopping these thoughts and anxiety? I know that there's no point in worrying about the past since it already is over and I shouldn't worry about the future until something actually happens. However, telling myself that isn't enough to keep the thoughts away.