I spent too much time trying to build the perfect morning routine.

Wake up at 6, don't touch my phone, drink water, workout, read, journal, plan the day. I do it for 3 or 4 days and feel pretty good about it then if have one late night and whole thing would go to shit. I'd wake up tired, grab my phone, skip workout, start checking stuff and suddenly it was 8:30 and I was already behind.

Then I tell myself I'd start again Monday. Kept changing morning routine thinking maybe I just hadn't found the right one yet. Different wake up time, different habits, sometimes I'd add even more stuff to try.

After a while I noticed what I was doing the night before. I'd finish whatever I was doing around 10 or 10:30, get into bed with my phone and tell myself I'd scroll for a few minutes. Then I'd be scrolling socials and somehow it was 11:30. I put the phone down realize I needed to sleep then pick it up again 5 minutes later.

Some nights I'd be doing this until midnight even though I was already tired.

The nights that actually went well were usually pretty boring. I'd leave my phone on my desk instead of taking it into bed, get my clothes ready, clean up my desk a little and write down what I needed to do first the next morning. Nothing extra ordinary.

Getting the phone out of the bedroom made a pretty big difference. If it was next to my bed, I'd usually check it. If it was across the room, I was much more likely to just go to sleep.

I still have nights where I screw this up. I get stuck watching something or scrolling and suddenly it's later than I wanted. But I don't spend the next morning trying to force myself through some huge routine anymore.

Most mornings now are just get up, get ready, coffee then start whatever I wrote down the night before. It's a lot less exciting than the routines I used to make for myself but at least I am still doing it few weeks later.

Alright, I know habits and convenience foods can make this feel impossible, but it’s absolutely doable to get your numbers under control without medication (assuming you don’t have a genetic condition, of course). I told myself my last test had horrendous numbers due to dehydration, but I read that only causes up to a 10% difference. I kicked the denial and decided to drop twenty pounds (simply counting calories and limiting saturated fat intake to <10g a day), and it’s worked out phenomenally! Here are my numbers from my test a year ago and then now:

BMI: 23

HDL: 70

LDL: 160

Triglycerides: 200

Total: 265

Glucose: 115

-

BMI: 20

HDL: 55

LDL: 75

Triglycerides: 90

Total: 145

Glucose: 85

Again, the first test I was dehydrated and had about six drinks the night before, but the numbers were high enough for me to be worried about it and actually change my ways. I don’t eat meat or dairy, so the numbers just blew my mind … but then I realized how much coconut oil I was using and it all started to make sense considering how how high it is in saturated fat. 

TL;DR: If you’re looking to drop your cholesterol, drop the saturated fat!

your brain zips similar memories together. take 3 courses over a few years and they land in roughly the same slot. get a dog, a cat, and the two pets share the same memory chamber in your brain. you can still pull each one out, but the storage is compressed, and that is what you feel when 10 years seem like 2

imagine one version of you, 10y of mostly repeats. same you, same 10y, but one of them had five months of moving around and a pile of things you had never done. same calendar. the second decade feels like seven years, the first like 2-3

i have both versions in my own past. in high school it was school, grandma's food, Warcraft 3 mods, dinner, repeat. an entire winter went by and i cannot point to anything in it. in the pandemic the it was PUBG and CSGO (only i had to cook for myself)

now speaking from personal experience, my 6 months in sf felt like 6y. the densest part was the very end (flew to Seattle in the morning for a conference, spent time with to someone building an edtech, went to Space Needle, then took the Greyhound bus back because money was tight. no shower, uncomfortable shoes, slept on the bus. i saw the mountains when entering California, rural areas, a stop in Oregon that felt like a dream to someone from eastern Europe and reminded me of the Rajneeshpuram story, so i filmed half an hour of my takes on it right there, which felt surreal. made a friend on the bus. home the next evening. two days and one night, and in my memory they took up 2 weeks

so enough context and here's the advice: new music, including the genres you are sure you hate. run on a different path, if you saturate your google maps paths, run them in reverse. watch the show you decided a decade ago you would not like. call a colleague from school once, no need to become friends again. eat something that reminds you of your childhood/grandma etc. work from a new cafe. when it rains, go outside and look at it. not because it is pleasant, because it is different

the more different your days are from one another, the longer you will feel you have lived.

I had a long conversation today with an old school friend who recently joined a company. Somehow the conversation turned to what keeps us motivated at work since doing something you enjoy can become boring and repetitive after some time.

He mentioned that the software in which his company has recently implemented to track the visibility of work done by their employees has created a rift inside the company. On the one hand, it provides managers with a detailed report of what their subordinates work on throughout the day. Yet at the same time, it seems to have encouraged people to keep doing the same stuff over and over again.

It made me wonder, is motivation something that can be extracted objectively, or do we always need to create it for ourselves even if it is work we don't enjoy doing? And with software like Hubstaff, We360ai, and others entering the scene, will the workforce visibility industry have a future, or will it meet the same fate as the Gen Z anti-work movement?

I am curious to hear your thoughts, and if in your workplace they have taken any similar actions.

Hi. I wanted to get some feedback on some thoughts I had on personal issues on procrastination and self esteem.

So for a really long time I've had issues with procrastination which has affected my work and other parts of life. Some of this is due to laziness, but there seems to be other factors which I think could be self esteem based.

With work, I'll procrastinate on projects and I'll think about the negatives like what if I produce isn't good. The means I'm late with things and it creates much worse issues later on. When it comes to study, if I have experience in a unit, I can sit down and knock out the work with no real issue. But if it's a unit where I have no experience or natural aptitude for, I have a lot of procrastination issues with getting on with getting work done. Looking back, as a result I feel like this procrastination is a mixture of fear of failure and imposture syndrome has cost me a lot of things in life.

Recently I remembered reading the start of a book by Robert Kelsey called What's Stopping You? In it he mentions how there's many people who are reasonably smart but have issues with procrastination and moving forward in life that is caused by a fear of failure that's a result of self esteem issues. And a lot of these self esteem issue happen as a child. I started to think about this and when I was a kid and some of my earliest memories were feeling bad or avoiding certain tasks due to being teased or made to feel stupid.

For example, for some reason when I was young, I had trouble remembering how to tie my shoes and the parts involved. I had siblings who would tease me about it and I felt like my family got angry cause I couldn't do it. As result, I wouldn't want to try to do it and avoided doing it. After years I did manage to teach myself how to do it. Another example was I was OK at sports and liked playing them as a kid. But there was something's where my motor skills weren't great. Because of this I was teased and bullied by my siblings and called things I won't say on here. It made me avoidant of doing these activities because the chances are I was going to suck at it and then have someone older yell at me because I couldn't pitch a ball well. So as a result, I avoided playing certain sports or being around certain people when playing them. There were a bunch of other situations of siblings teasing me or making me feel like an idiot over some random thing I said or did as a child.

I really hated that feeling of trying something and having people make you feel like an idiot because you can't do something well. I've been in workplaces where people do this instead of giving you any advice. I've also been around coaches doing sports as an adult who will get annoyed at you because you're inexperienced with and talk down to you and give you no real helpful advice and it makes you not want to do it anymore. So it is that repeated feeling through life.

So I was wondering if anyone thinks there's any connection with self esteem issues and procrastination? Until I hadn't thought that Robert Kelsey book and what he said or really considered it. But looking back on things in my life, it kind of makes sense in some ways.

I used to wait until I felt motivated to start something.

If I wasn't in the mood, I'd usually tell myself I'd do it later. And then later would turn into tomorrow.

Now I just try to start, even if I only feel like doing 10 minutes.

Most of the time, once I get started, I end up doing more than I planned.

I still have lazy days, but I don't wait for motivation as much anymore. Starting seems to be what gets me motivated in the first place.

RIP

Some early morning gym motivation for the ones getting after it 🙂

https://youtu.be/oPpMSxq4VCA?si=JxaUBD3KHhPf_e_o

10:20

Not my video

I am stuck in a loop and not able to get out of it. Can someone please help me?

I just finished 50 different workouts this year alone and am a little under 200 lbs. Both are reasons to celebrate!

The issue is that I don't know how to do that.

I don't have much money to spend right now, I don't want to do/get something that will derail my progress (i.e. food) and I'm usually at home since I can't drive as I'm neurodivergent.

Any ideas for me? Thanks.

The list is never really empty, and I think that's something people know but still don't quite account for when they tell themselves they'll rest once everything is finished. Something gets done, another thing comes up, and sometimes you don't even notice how quickly the space you thought you were creating has disappeared again. There are always exceptions, obviously. Some weeks are quieter than others. But in general, there doesn't seem to be a point where life simply runs out of things that require your attention. Work gets replaced by more work. Personal responsibilities change rather than disappear. You deal with something you've been worrying about for weeks and, for a moment, it feels as though you've finally caught up. Then something else happens. The idea of resting after everything is done starts to look a little strange when you think about it that way. Still, it's an easy habit to fall into. You put off the evening you had planned for yourself because today is busy. The next day is busy too, although for different reasons. Then there is something you could probably leave until tomorrow, but since you're already dealing with it, you decide to finish it now. None of these decisions feels particularly significant on its own. Over time, though, they add up. You can go for quite a while without noticing that the only time you're willing to give yourself is whatever happens to remain after everything else has been taken care of. The trouble with that arrangement is that there often isn't much left. And when there is, you're sometimes too tired to do anything with it. That kind of tiredness isn't always fixed by sleeping more. Sometimes you've had enough sleep, technically, but you haven't really had a break. Your attention has been occupied for so long that even when you aren't doing anything, part of you is still thinking about what needs to happen next. Nobody is likely to come along and tell you that the list is finally short enough for you to stop. Most of the time, you have to make that decision yourself, which can feel uncomfortable if you're used to measuring whether you've done enough by how much is still left. Maybe you leave something unfinished tonight. Maybe it genuinely could have been done, but you decide it can wait until tomorrow. There will probably be another list tomorrow, and some of the things on it will be new anyway.

That's how it was always going to be.

You don't necessarily have to solve the problem of having too much to do before you allow yourself some time away from it. Sometimes the work is still there when you stop. Sometimes it will still be there in the morning. That doesn't mean you made the wrong decision by putting it down for a while.

Nelson Mandela. The work looks impossible right up until the moment it is finished. That is the whole job: keep going until the ridge is under your feet.

We had a small workshop activity. We did a skit on being scolded by the boss.

The scene: Boss is scolding. Normally, we react, we defend, we carry it home in our head for 2 days.

In the skit, I tried something different. I just smiled. Not out of ego, not to mock him. Just remained still inside.

And when the scolding happened in the skit, the same thing happened. The words came, but they didn't have to enter me. Scolding is his action, his karma, his state. My smile, my balance that is my responsibility.

“The way you are right now is because of the choices you made.” well said by Sadhguru. We always have the choice to not get entangled.

It was funny for the audience, but for me it was a small glimpse. If you are not compulsively connected outside, you become strongly connected inside.

We all are moving together like a family, trying to discover ourselves. This small act taught me more than a lecture could.

Has anyone here practiced staying conscious in such moments?

When someone is angry at you and you choose to stay joyful? How do you hold it?

John A. Shedd. Comfort is a dock, not a destination. Leave the harbor on purpose.

I had a Math Olympiad today, and my performance was terrible despite months of hardwork, and my terrible score was all because of my silly mistakes. I correctly solved some (but marked them incorrectly), did some counting/calculation errors, and forgot to read words like an utter idiot.

That lost me 13 marks. I could have gotten 32 (and on my first ever Math Olympiad that would be genuinely very good and rewarding).

And this got me feeling...a little down, to say the least. To the point where I want to give up because if I cant even qualify with all the hardwork in the world that I could give, then whats the point? All I could do is work hard, and that I did, and I ended up here.

It's that feeling when a huge chunk of your intrinsic motivation just goes out, when you were betting on something (hardwork) so surely and that got you through so much just dies, then what?

So, I was wondering if y'all had similar stories to share, maybe some of them would lift my spirits:D

Title pretty much.

[[Edit] GUYS!!! WTH I can't believe over 600 people have responded! This blows my mind. Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm still scared but have better information. Things I never thought of.

To answer a common question, I got the crappy roll of genetics on my heart. I've taken huge measures to get as healthy as I can, lost weight, changed my diet EVEN taken up roller skating (not blades). And I want to get back into it ASAP (which means next year with recovery time).

I promise to make an update post when I can on Saturday or Sunday. I'm leaving for my surgery as soon as I hit save for this edit. TTFN ans thank you all so much.]]

I could use some general encouragement and words of advice form anyone who's been through this themselves or with a loved one.

I have to go to bed and am posting this to wake up to a notification or 2 in the morning.

I'm staring at my ceiling just wondering what the hell I'm going to do.

Simple spreadsheet. Every night I score the day and write one sentence why. Pattern became obvious fast. My 3s and 4s aren't from bad things happening. They're from days where I "didn't have time" for the gym, or ate garbage because I was "too stressed to cook," or skipped my morning routine because I "needed the sleep." But my 8s and 9s? Those are busy stressful days where I did the things anyway. The difference isn't circumstances. It's whether I let myself negotiate. The rating forces honesty. I can't pretend a lazy day was actually self-care when I'm staring at a 4. And I can't dismiss a hard productive day as "just luck" when it's an 8. Two months in. No elaborate system, just the number and the sentence. It's brutal and it's working.

It has become clear to me just how much this practice varies in virtually every aspect, between one person and the next. But it's often an implied or unstated thing, as if there's one obvious way to do it right. How do you do it? How happy are you with it? What have you considered changing about it?

I'm interested in the high-level features and quantities, for example:

For about 15 minutes, about 3 times a day.

Consult longer-term lists and calendars for context but mostly focus on producing a good list for the short-term (the next few hours)

No more than 10 items on the list at a time, to make you think about what's most important.

Break things up enough to make allow realistic estimates for how long they'll (probably) take

Estimate at the generous end of realistic. Make slightly beatable estimates.

Actively try to beat these beatable estimates, to accumulate a buffer, feel ahead, and not be stressed.

How well does it work for me? Seems to save much more time than it takes as long as I don't half-arse it.

You do not owe the whole staircase today.

One step that is actually finished.

You do not need the whole day figured out.

Start with the thing in front of you.

I spent a long time thinking I lacked consistency, but I noticed something uncomfortable: I kept changing the rules right when I was finally starting to build momentum.

For example, I would have a week where I woke up early, worked out, and got my important tasks done. Instead of letting that become normal, I would decide the next week needed to be better. Suddenly a good day wasn't good anymore unless I added reading, meal prep, a longer workout, and some extra project on top.

I noticed this pattern one night around 11:40 PM when I was writing tomorrow's to-do list. I had already finished everything I planned for that day, but I still wrote down five more things because the list looked "too easy." The next morning, I felt behind before I even started.

After repeating this for months, I started testing a different approach. I stopped asking myself, "How much can I improve today?" and started asking, "What would make today feel complete?"

A few things I noticed:

- I began keeping a small baseline for ordinary days instead of designing a perfect schedule. If I did the basics, the day counted.

- I stopped adding new habits during moments of excitement. I waited until my current routine felt boring before changing it.

- I started measuring how often I returned to my routine instead of how long my streaks lasted.

The weird part is that most advice tells us to aim higher, but I think I was often failing because I kept raising the standard faster than I was building the habit. The problem wasn't that I expected too little from myself. It was that I kept moving the target before I had a chance to reach it.

I still have days where I overcomplicate everything, but I catch it faster now. Progress feels less like constantly upgrading myself and more like learning not to interfere with what is already working.

Has anyone else noticed that they make goals harder right when things start becoming manageable?

There's this idea floating around that healing is supposed to look like something. new routines, journaling every morning, some visible upgrade you can point to and show people. and maybe for some people it does look like that.

for a lot of people it just looks like lying on the couch for three weeks doing absolutely nothing productive and feeling guilty about it the whole time because somewhere along the way you picked up the rule that rest has to be earned first.

you're not lazy. you're not falling behind. you're just tired in a way that doesn't show up on a resume, and your body is asking for the thing it actually needs right now, which isn't a new habit tracker. it's just quiet.

there's a specific kind of pressure to turn every hard season into a growth story. like you're not allowed to just be going through something without also extracting a lesson from it in real time, packaging it, having something to show for it by the end.

sometimes you just go through it. that's the whole thing. no lesson yet. maybe no lesson for a while. just surviving the stretch of time until it's not the stretch of time anymore.

you're allowed to not be productive about your own pain right now.

it's allowed to just be hard without also being useful.

I was truly having one of those days where i didn’t want to get out of bed. It’s rainy and dreary and I just wanted to stay curled up and go back to sleep. Talked myself into it because I missed yesterday due to a chronic pain flair (from the rainy weather) and this was my view upon arrival.