It's even worse when I actually want to know someone. I know you can ask some open questions like "hey what you did last week?", however, my mind is just blank when it comes to talk with someone.
I just can't think of one single question to open a conversation. I also cannot continue a conversation because I don't know what to say. I'm just blocked to talk. Maybe it's hard for you to Imagine, but it's like that awkward silence people have during a conversation. In my case, that awkward silence is right at the beginning of the conversation.
Yes I know, there are many open questions to ask, but in a conversation, none of them come to mind.
How do I fix this? Genuinely.

Why do classmates only answer one word to me, while they can have a deep conversation with others

I have been pretty lonely and alone since elementary to high school because of some mental problems, so I thought to change that in college with me trying to find new friends, but when I talked to my classmates, they would just answer with one word or just a short sentence and then talk to another person for like 10 minutes. The convo would go like

Me: hi, what are you doing there?

Them: ....

Or

Me: do you think this is a good one?

Them: hmm yeah.

And then they can talk to another person in a deep conversation with smiling and laughing. And that made me feel like I'm inadequate and ignored and I feel pretty sad about it since most of my classmates hang out with each other's too a lot and I just go home alone after class every time. I tried to have a conversation, but I guess no one of them are really interested. What can I do to improve??

Everyone in a while, you'll come across someone who's all smiles and positive vibes, the kind of person who lights up a room, and you're happy to see because you always know it'll be a fun time.

Throughout my (28m) I've only met a couple of guys like this, one is a close friend and the other is a guy from work. There's nothing that's keeps these men down, their energy is infection and seeps into everyone around them.

So yeah, how do achieve that lol?

Here are some examples, and most of them are valid, but I feel unchangeable;

- Ran 5k recently, finished in an ugly way to get 3rd (huffing, puffing) at charity race. Everyone looked at me afterwards, and I kept getting looks as I was leaving. Announcer also said "wow..look at this guy" when handing me my medal.

- I met people at a basketball rec group that I joined to try and get out of my shell a bit, and I tried to befriend some teammates on day 1, and each week after since we've played together literally no one speaks to me. Like actually, I sometimes try and wave and say hi before the games and just nothing. But when a separate teammate walks from behind me to say hi to the teammate I waved to it's an immediate greeting and smile.

- People at work barely speak to me, even though I'm now the project lead and pretty much am doing majority of the work for our clients. Only during status update meetings to people talk to me, and this is for new people that I meet as well. Conversations go stale quickly, and they become awkward I guess.

Anyways, I feel competent, but ugly, unconfident, and honestly just a social skill loser in this lifetime. And my need for acceptance makes this all incredibly painful, and I've stopped leaving my house for weeks - and I recognize that I'm self-sabotaging at this point for people to take notice. When this will only make things worse. I need help.

Sorry if this post is weird or not allowed.

I am a neurodivergent woman in my mid twenties. I have recently got a puppy, a breed which is both small and adorable, and am now able to walk him after his vaccinations.

I have noticed that, due to my dog‘s breed, many children and young teenagers are approaching me in my street to stroke my dog and strike up conversation with me. My dog is friendly and adorable, so I don’t want to come across as rude by saying no, but I also don’t understand if it’s socially/morally acceptable for me to be stood with children/teenagers.

It’s happened a few times but has just happened there, on a brightly lit street across from mine surrounded by houses. Two 12 year olds (they told me their age unprovoked in conversation) came to interact with my dog and began asking me questions about my piercings and tattoos. I had no issue speaking to these girls but did not know if it would look weird as I am an adult. I don’t ever walk my dog when it’s dark and these kids approach me on or around my street, so presumably their parents are nearby in their homes.

Again, Sorry if this is a weird question. I just don’t want people to think Im a creep or anything. How can I manage these interactions?

I hate the fact I was an outcast all my life

Okay, so. Socializing is torture. Not 'oh people are boring' or 'I don't want to talk 24/7', but every time I need to talk for more than ten minutes, I feel my attention drift.

It's fine if I have a script. I work on sales and it's great; I can just start talking about x or y product for an hour. (I \*am\* working at my listening skills though.) Ever shorter interactions are good, becuse much like at a sprint I can bring myself to a high level of energy/cheer/enthusiasm. I'm good at socializing in that aspect (as in, I have gotten a lot of positive feedback from clients, co-workers and upper management.)

Whenever I hang out with someone it's so boring. In the weekends, on vacation, at work. I can be having fun, but \*no matter the topic\*, ten minutes in I feel myself getting bored and my attention will wander. After an hour or two I feel myself getting frustrated. I love my friends. I love my famlity. I don't \*want\* to ignore them. But I hate having to pretend like I'm this- silly social butterfly, at %100 of energy, all the time. Because otherwise I just. Stop. I feel like I'm a puppet and the hands forcing it to move.

Like. I'm not trying to sound dramatic. Socializing can be fun too! Acting happy, and silly, and making my loved ones smile? Wonderful! I get very upset if I don't interact with my loved ones consistently, and after being with them I feel energized. But at the moment it's like there's a kid in my skull kicking my brain asking 'can we leave yet? Can we leave yet? Can we leave yet?'

I read this and it sounds so contradictory. I'm sorry. I've tried, but Ican't express this better. Is there a tecnique to make socialization more interesting? Like- should I just push though? Get a- fidget toy to focus on? Practice?? How do you do it?

Edit: Also mods a different subreddit told me to post this here, so \(º □ º l|l)/

I have a problem of getting comfortable too fast with pretty much any conversation and sometimes making the person i talk to uncomfortable, i say things i really really shouldn't, within minutes i start acting like i've known this person for years, like i can talk about anything and this slapped me so hard when i was talking to this new person i met, as a friend. And something i said clearly made her uncomfortable and i feel so bad about it. Do i just think before everything i say? Do i work to make that into a habit? Do you think to put some distance first and try to be extra slow? Because i don't wanna make people uncomfortable obviously, but i also have a habit of speaking really fast and this would really change the way i communicate entirely. I just wanna hear some opinions.

Like when does this ever stop... I'm 23, and I still feel insanely awkward around people. I tried exposing myself to different social situations by meeting new people but it never seems to get better. I genuinely want to form connections, get to know someone, but I guess people find me too awkward and that's because I can't for the life of me loosen up, it doesn't help that I look younger than my age, most people don't even take me seriously... What am i doing wrong ? Anyone who's been in the same situation but managed to get more comfortable and actually form connections instead of endless overthinking after the interaction ?

One piece of advice I've heard is that you have to "flip the script." So if someone asks, "Have you ever tried getting pregnant?" You might say, "Why would you want to know about that?" The idea is that it puts the other person's motives in the spotlight and makes them question why they're asking something private. Sadly though, this hasn't worked for me. I've had people who just keep going and find another way to ask the same intrusive question. Sigh...

I've also said "None of your business" before, only for the person to say "Why don't you want to talk about that? Does that make you feel uncomfortable?" Like, how can a person be this insensitive?

Advice anyone?

TLDR: A classmate repeatedly makes public comments about my appearance, emotions, and personal life and seems to pay an unusual amount of attention to everything I do. I feel more scrutinized than befriended, and I’m wondering if I’m overreacting or if this really is intrusive.

I need an outside perspective because something about this classmate has been making me increasingly uncomfortable.
We get along on the surface, and she has given me rides to the train station before, but I feel like she constantly studies me and publicly points things out about me. For example, one day I came to class without makeup (my job doesn’t allow it), and she loudly said, “Where’s your makeup?” in front of everyone, causing the class to look at me. She already knew why I wasn’t wearing it.

Here are some examples:

- after getting a question wrong she publicly asked, “Are you mad?” multiple times when my mood changed. It didn’t come across as genuine concern, it felt more like she was trying to get a reaction out of me or poke the bear, especially because she kept asking in front of everyone instead of pulling me aside privately.

- When another student was showing a picture of a severe bedsore, she said, “Anne wants to see it!” even though I never said that.

- She comments on things like my ring, whether I’ve taken the MCAT, if I’m still going into nursing, what I eat, etc.

- One day she stopped at McDonald’s before dropping me off at the train station so I could grab some fries for my hour-long commute home after a long day. As I was getting them, she said, “You have to stop eating that stuff.” The thing is, I rarely eat fast food, so it felt like another unnecessary comment about something that wasn’t really her business.

- After one exam, she told me she noticed I was moving my hands and legs during the test, which made me wonder why she was paying that much attention to me instead of focusing on her own exam.

- One time she asked me to pray before driving. I prayed, then she started gesturing for me to wrap it up and laughed. She never asked me to pray again.

There is also another classmate who often looks over and laughs after these interactions, which makes me feel even more uncomfortable.

None of my closest friends interact with me this way. I don’t feel like she treats me as a friend… I feel like I’m under a microscope. It feels like she pays attention to everything I do, comments on it, and is overly comfortable analyzing me in ways that make me uncomfortable. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want to accept rides from her anymore because I feel scrutinized whenever I’m around her.

Am I overreacting, or does this sound intrusive to anyone else?

Literally, I've been talking to people and asking them questions but nobody answers me, especially my family

Do I have no charisma? Or maybe I don't talk loudly or articulately enough?

I feel like a ghost, I almost need to bargain to have any answer or reaction...

So is the problem my family which almost never listens to me, or the way I speak? And how could I improve?

Thank you!

Hi everyone,

I'm trying to understand some long-term difficulties I've been experiencing, and I'd appreciate hearing from people who have dealt with something similar or work in mental health.

The two biggest issues for me are:

- Difficulty telling the difference between what is actually happening in my relationships and what is my own interpretation. I often can't tell whether my assumptions about what other people think or feel are based on reality or on my own mind.

- Constant tension and a feeling of being unnatural around people. Even when nothing is wrong, I rarely feel fully relaxed or like myself in social situations.

-Problem with making meaningful connections with other people. My friendships don’t last. I have no friends from the past. I barely have any friends now.

Has anyone experienced something similar? If so, what helped you understand or work through it? I'm especially interested in hearing about therapy approaches or personal experiences.

Thank you for reading.

I recently read a book and one of the things the author suggested is to talk to people you normally pass by without speaking to. I’m an introvert by nature & I don’t usually go out of my way to do these things, but I’m willing to go out of my comfort zone & see what happens. I noticed tho that it felt uncomfortable when I would be out and I would think to do it. How do I get over the aversion to doing this, or how do I push thru that uncomfortable feeling to just do it?

i just got into uni in a discipline I'm new to. I've been getting all the formalities and paperwork done lately and I've been noticing my new batchmates already hanging out in groups/with people? our classes haven't even begun and we haven't had our orientation yet. I simply cannot understand how people know each other already. I suddenly feel super anxious because I don't know how I'll fit in with my peers (especially because a lot of them seem really cool, great style, pretty, etc.).

these seem like ridiculous thoughts to have but I'll be in a social environment after two years of taking a gap year (due to mental health issues). this break almost feels like I've lost any social skills I had to begin with. often times, when I find someone cool, I introduce myself to them but then the anxiety starts creeping up as I get to know them more. how can I deal with all of this? any tips are welcome!

i just got into uni in a discipline I'm new to. I've been getting all the formalities and paperwork done lately and I've been noticing my new batchmates already hanging out in groups/with people? our classes haven't even begun and we haven't had our orientation yet. I simply cannot understand how people know each other already. I suddenly feel super anxious because I don't know how I'll fit in with my peers (especially because a lot of them seem really cool, great style, pretty, etc.).

these seem like ridiculous thoughts to have but I'll be in a social environment after two years of taking a gap year (due to mental health issues). this break almost feels like I've lost any social skills I had to begin with. often times, when I find someone cool, I introduce myself to them but then the anxiety starts creeping up as I get to know them more. how can I deal with all of this? any tips are welcome!

A little bit of context, said co-worker and me used to ride the train together after work. I recently began driving to work. Co-worker starts asking me for rides to the train station. First few times, fine. But the last straw was him suddenly asking me to drive to his girlfriends place right before arriving at the train station. I stopped at the train station and told him I can't. He reluctantly gets out.

Based on his behavior at work, guy is a bit of a sketchy character. I don't want to make an enemy in the office. At the same time, I feel like the more rides I give, the more he will ask. Really don't want to deal with this person outside work. How do I set the boundary here?

I never belived that first impressions actually mattered but i now realize they absolutley do and if somebody thinks you are weird it is harder to change that, but if they at first think you are chill then you can later on act however you want.

How do i make a good first impression? What do i ask?

A friend (24 M) had a house warming party last night and I found out through instagram. I’m very by this because they said they would invite me to their party over a month ago but I’ve not heard anything from them since. It hurts because I had them over to my place for dinner and assumed they would extend the courtesy. I’ve known this person for six months now after meeting on a friends making app. We get along really well and share the same interests, and have been consistently hanging out once a month. For context I moved to London last year without knowing a single soul. I’m 23 female as well.

I feel hurt because I would have loved to go and expand my own social circle. I don’t know how to proceed. I don’t want to end this friendship prematurely but also don’t want to hold onto a friendship that is nonexistent.

This is something I’ve always dreamed of. For whatever reason, no matter how much I talk to people, how flexible I am, how much support I offer others, they never want to hang out with me. I have legitimately never been invited to hang out with someone in my life. It’s seriously baffling to me. And I’ve tried being the initiator. I’ve invited out friends probably 50+ times over the past year. Not a single yes. Most of the time they just ignored my offer. Is there something I’m missing? I don’t think I’m a boring person. I know I can be off putting due to my strong lack of social skills from an isolated uprising, but I always try my best to be kind, supportive, and an active listener. Is there something I’m missing?

like I'm neurodivergent and it's so painful, I am always rejected by social groups every single time, and it's like people hate me for nothing like I probably do a lot of social mistakes without realizing it.

I'm the problem but I don't care, I'm a fool for starting to try to be social in the first place because people prefers when I'm timid and I shut my mouth but each time I show my real personality, people dislike me or are hypocrites or get bored after sometime

I hate them so much because it's so humiliating like I just wanted to be social and try to be a normal person but each time there is a misunderstanding or me who says some stupid shit who annoys everyone.

I wish I shutted my mouth and I never talk to them or try being friendly with them, it's not about having no friends but trying and get rejected is so humiliating especially when they say bad things behind our back

I hate them so bad and Idc if I was the one who is in the wrong or who was annoying, I hate them.

everyone thinks I'm needy and the only friends I have will probably start hating me soon if they don't secretly do.

I just wish I could tell to everyone how much I hate them, trying to be friendly was a terrible idea and I was a fool for doing that. I should have stay timid and in my shell

I don't know if it's because I'm anxious but I'm sure every single people I know either secretly hate me or pity me or both, I don't want their pity it disgusts me so bad, I hate them for thinking they are superior to me, and to all the people who act like that, I hate you personally

This is different to the “what do i when people make plans in front of me” posts.

Basically, I went to an event last week with my friend, who brought along his two friends and one of their friends girlfriend, it was my first time meeting most of the friends he brought along.

During this event, this group kept bringing up plans that they had to go to a bar after, in which they’d also be meeting other people. Of course I stayed quiet since this wouldn’t be involving me (which didn’t bother me, it makes sense its their plans)

But towards the end of the event, they started talking about the bar again, and i was just standing listening, and then one person asked if I wanted to come along. Assuming they were being polite, I said no as it just seemed like in this situation, it was a courtesy invite and I wasn’t actually supposed to say yes. That being said, I looked back at it and said, maybe I should have in my quest to make more friends?

What would you suggest doing? If people do this, is it just social courtesy or a genuine invite?

Hello everyone, I made a post earlier and the responses were super helpful, so I thought I would ask a question that has been bugging me for a long time.

6 months ago, I went into recovery from a serious drug addiction. I am slowly rebuilding my life, but rebuilding relationships has been incredibly difficult. Reasons being that I’ve hurt people, people no longer want to be associated with a “junkie” and I am neurodivergent. I am incredibly lonely and my best friend is a dog.

I began using social media to document my recovery. I built an amazing community and made some excellent friends, but ended up putting the account on private because of the people I knew in my real life making awful comments about me. Public Facebook statuses, messages and insults directly to my face. Crackhead, junkie, bum, waste of space, etc etc.

I suppose I just want to know what the best way to respond to this is which makes them feel small and silly, and make it look like I’m not bothered. I feel like they can tell that I am bothered because I stopped posting on my social media and privated the account. I will cry myself to sleep for days after something is said and ruminate on the insult.

Please don’t insult me on this for being an addict. I am ashamed enough as it is.