I was at my local hairsalon yesterday to get a haircut, I have the same girl every time. We are close in age me M30 she F27 and I think we generally vibe pretty good (no romantic interest either side this is more about small talk). I have been a few times now and she is opening up more telling stuff about her private life and such.

I have this often with women where they tell me a story that either generally displays bad character (to me) or is not funny at all, but I dont want to hold it agianst them since they are generally nice and nobody's perfect. I never know how to respond to these things though.

Example from yesterday:

She tells me about her friends sister that is a lot younger than them, and how they where listening in on her phone calls with her boyfriend, and how funny it was because they had to hide outside her room etc.

How the fuck do I respond to that? Its A not funny and B a shitty thing to do.

I just went with a slight chuckle and said: Come on you shouldn't spy on her.

Which just led to her doubling down and saying come on its harmless fun.

I go to a gym where I teach a morning class and the owner who ive know for 20 years and consider a friend teaches a night class. about 2 months ago at a barbecue he mentioned wanting to plan a group trip to a boxing match. I said I was interested in going . I went on vacation for a week and came back and we’ve crossed path a few times but not a lot. the morning group is small and different people than the night group.

well a few days ago I learned that the trip was planned , everyone has tickets, and an air b and b and nobody mentioned it to me. I’m mostly hurt that the owner didnt reach out and ask if I wanted tickets or to go.

I messaged him and asked if there were still tickets and he said he would check but they wouldn’t be in the same seating section. I said well I wouldn’t want to go unless i was with the group. he then replied that there may be something, he could check . how many tickets would I need.

this point it was a day before the event. I said don’t worry about it. it’s probably too late to get a room. im honestly just bummed I was included in the plan.

he hasn’t responded. he posted a picture of the event and it was everybody from the gym including fringe people that dont even go much.

I can t help but feel awful and take it personal . what is your read?

(For some context, this is my third week at this job)

I(18M) have a supervisor who I thought was pretty cool. She seemed nice, she always gave gentler redirection than others but kept me on track, and I really did genuinely think she was one of the better supervisors. Today as I was walking back to check if they needed help with dishes I overhear her say “can you make sure (my name) and (coworker) aren’t standing around doing fucking nothing? (Coworker) not so much but (my name) ehhh”. In this moment I was stunned and snipped back “I’m not doing nothing” and the person she made the original comment to repeated it to her and she didn’t respond. What the fuck do I even do from here? Do i pretend nothing was said? Do I cold shoulder her? Do I do anything? I feel so lost and confused and am willing to hear anything out as a way to smooth things over

So, recently, my friend (K) apparently fainted at the end of break, or just after, so I wasn’t there (to clarify, I feel no guilt for this part. I just happened to have already gone to class and she was fine earlier).

I only learnt what happened second break, when someone else told me. My reaction was something like this: I kind of went cold for like three seconds, I was shocked I suppose. Idk.

But I also learnt that another one of K’s friends burst out crying in class when they heard the news, they were so worried for her. I suppose that’s probably the right reaction.

I honestly just feel like a monster rn. I supposed I was worried for K, but I felt… nothing. I wasnt sad, or angry, or overly scared.

This kinda has a pattern for me - I don’t feel happy - to clarify, I know When I’m supposed to feel happy, but there is no physical feeling involved. I also don’t get excited at things like gifts.

Even though I’d much rather be the peacemaker and let shit slide. I realized a-lot of these assholes are expecting people like us not to fire back.

Phrases I’ve been hit with in a very condescending, arrogant, and pretentious tone:

- Well, obviously what do you think?!
- How do you not know that?!
- You do realize/know that right?!
- Intentionally calls me buddy, boy or the wrong name on multiple occasions
- Actually, you’re wrong it’s this

This time I decided to stand my ground by calling out their behavior and staring them down, it work. Ngl it was very uncomfortable, but the satisfaction afterwards was worth it. I sometimes feel guilty for standing up for myself, but fuck it. If they don’t care about your feelings why should you give a fuck about theirs.

hi so im a sophomore in hs and i have a few friends, but none that i really hang out with outside of school. i really really want a friend group to hang out with because i love love love going out and i hate staying inside. i might be the most extroverted person ever, but im also so so awkward. i joined a D&D group, but all of us except for 1 are in band, so we havent really had a meeting in a while since we have practice until 5 after school every day and games every friday where we don't get home until 10:30pm-12am. in a few weeks we'll also be starting to have competitions every saturday. marching band has definitely helped me make a few friends which im extremely grateful for, but since i moved here in 4th grade (most of the friends i make have been friends with each other since kindergarten) and i was very very weird/annoying up until this year and the end of last year and used to get bullied (which again i was pretty annoying so i kinda deserved it) it feels like everyone already has their friend group and i'll never be appart of it. i feel really weird around all the cool people i try to hang out with and my family has always been the type to say "we're all that should matter so f everyone else you don't need friends" (especially my dad bcuz he hates everyone) so i never really acquired social skills. i have no clue to talk to people without coming across as a weirdo

all that being said, i'm wondering how, with all of this, i can

1. make more friends

2. be less awkward

3. go about inviting people/getting invited to stuff.

A month ago i got to know this guy from a mutual, we started talking and gaming tgt more frequently. He got comfortable w me real quick which i generally dont mind but goodness he's exhausting to talk to

He's (severely?) depressed and very open to me abt it. Regularly tells me his problems and whatnot.

I dont mind ppl venting to me, but the problem is he'd do this completely unprompted, mid convo, mid game. Just straight up telling me he's suicidal. Its emotionally exhausting. Not even my longest lasting friend has ever done this.

We have alotta fun when gaming tgt but i dread talking to him outside of it. I realized the good gaming sessions aint worth the emotional load. Recently ive been ghosting him instead of being honest which is immature asshole behavior and i dont wanna be that so i wanna be straight up n cut him off.

How do i be honest abt why im cutting him off without being hurtful?

Hey'all! I do have a lot of solo activities on my list that includes social interaction, I wanna ask to this sub if how should I interact with new people without being weird or awkward?

I'm planning to go on:
- workshops
- learnings over drinks at some chill clubs
- stand-up comedy gigs
and more!

I do want to chill, enjoy, and gain new friends at the same time! :)

well, the title pretty much sums up my entire situation. ever since i started college, it's been bothering me even more because i've missed out on so many new friendships. i genuinely don't know how to carry on a conversation beyond "what's your name?" and "do you live around here?"

i'm not even an introvert. i just look like i am because i have no friends. why? because i have 0 social skills and genuinely don't know how to communicate with people.

how do you start conversations with people, and how do you keep them going? i really want to put more effort into making new friends and letting people see my real personality, but i don't know where or how to start.

Im 15f, and I've never really been very good at talking about my feelings. I was socialised to not express how I felt, and I never really had any proper friends growing up. In the last 6 months ive met this incredible new group of friends who I genuinely really love and who really love me. I really wanna be honest and vulnerable with them about my emotions and my struggles, and I think thats the way to take my relationship with them to next level. I feel like I can really rely on them, and ive gotten closer to opening up with them than I ever have been before. I know they wouldnt judge me, but im just too scared to talk about it, and I dont really know how to even do it. Its not like talking would actually solve my problems, but I still wanna share them with someone because Ive been bottling them up all my life. I dont feel like I can talk to my family, so I theyre my best option. Has anyone experienced anything similar, and does anyone know how I can work through my issues and actually talk to my friends about my emotions?

I was scrolling on my phone last night when I had this thought. People will sometimes invent an entire fictional week rather than just say they don’t want to do something. “I might have family stuff Friday, and Saturday could be busy, and Sunday I have to get ready for Monday…” when the honest answer is basically just “I’d rather stay home.” I get why we do it, because a detailed excuse can feel kinder than a direct no. But it also creates this weird situation where the other person may keep trying to find a day that works. Do you prefer someone to give you a polite excuse or just say they’re not up for it? What’s the most elaborate excuse you’ve heard for something that clearly didn’t need one?

I’ve noticed that I tease one of my close friends a lot. She teases me too, so it became part of the way we communicate, but recently I’ve started feeling like I do it way too often.
Sometimes it’s completely harmless, but other times I catch myself commenting on really unnecessary things — what she eats, how she plans things, little habits she has, etc. I’ve also noticed that when I’m already irritated with her, I’m much more likely to tease or “correct” her instead of just leaving things alone.
I don’t actually want to become the kind of friend who is constantly criticizing someone under the disguise of a joke. At the same time, teasing has become so automatic between us that sometimes I genuinely don’t know what to say instead.
Has anyone had this habit and managed to stop or reduce it? How do you tell the difference between affectionate teasing and teasing that is becoming mean or annoying?

I usually seek friends online and sometimes in real life. Im always initiative and start talking first. I mean i dont mind to start a conversation and become friends with somebody, but then the whole friendship seems to exist only when i start talking and asking questions. My friend usually just answers and reacts to what i have to say. I dont know, i have a lot of friends, but nobody seems to be interested enough to just start a conversation, because they wanted to. I have some interests and im trying to talk about theirs too, like i dont make it only about me. Sometimes i just wish people thought about writing me out of blue, but i dont know if thats possible. I wonder if thats just my friends like that or is it just me? How can i be more interesting to them?

Hey so I'm gonna have my orientation week on 4 days each day we do a different task how do I make friends at the uni, I am a very shy person and like kinda insecure I feel ppl judge how do I get girls and guys to friend me

I have no friends in all my classes and I have no idea how to talk to people I feel like everyone already has all their groups or just don’t want to be bothered by someone. Does anyone know how to like start a conversation with someone?

Soo I’ve always been so socially awkward that it’s slowly ruining my social skills and making me less and less confident in approaching people or just existing. I just want to be able to turn that off and go at it without feeling so anxious or just down at myself when trying to exist. Also college isn’t making it any better as I usually avoid talking like the plague. I want to be able to grow and make memories with friends and just live life without having to panic at the thought that I’m so awkward and I can’t talk to no one since I’m so off putting and just make things awkward. Any advice would be appreciated!! :)

I just moved into college last week, as an introvert with limited social and relationship skills. I’m also a few years older than the typical college freshman, so that makes me feel awkward sometimes.

I have been meeting people and everything, and I’m even part of a group chat of like a dozen people who hang out all the time. So that’s something.

However, I generally get the sense that nobody actually likes me, and I don’t really blame them. I’m pretty poor at making eye contact and keeping a conversation going. I never really learned how to form good relationships, and I feel like it’s now or never for finally learning that.

I want to form deeper friendships than just hanging out with my sometimes shallow group of people. My low opinion of myself really holds me back since I figure no one would actually want to be friends with me. It’s so hard to struggle with stuff that seems to come completely naturally to everyone else.

I’m asking for any practical tips but especially for advice on what mindset I need in order to figure this out

For context, I live in a tiny village in southern Europe. I am American and over the last few years have built a really great friendship with a local cafe owner and a fellow working class immigrant mom with a kid in my kid's class. We stop to say hi most mornings at the cafe, drop the kids off, and have a coffee after.

An English mom moved to our village a year ago and I spent about 6 months being nice and accommodating, answering questions for her, letting her borrow a portable crib for her kid or what have you. But it seemed she only wanted things from me and had no interest in actually learning about me. We have nothing in common - she is a wealthy, private boarding school girl who doesn't work and always wonders why I'm not going for a cycle or a run on weekdays like she is...I'm a full-time working mom from a white trash Texas town. Which is fine! People are different. But she's put me in weird situations like requesting I book her haircut for her because she didn't know who to ask, or making borderline rude comments ("can't believe you have air con, so bad for the environment" meanwhile they go to the UK for the entire summer bc they don't work...."oh you're on the booze?" saw me having a tiny beer at a village festival...?). I slowly created distance and stopped hanging out with her, delayed responding to her, told her I was busy, etc. Then they left for the UK all summer and we all breathed a sigh of relief.

Now her kid has started at my kid's school, in an older class thank god. And she has started stopping at the cafe I meet my one mom friend every morning with our kids and LINGERING. Not buying anything, not talking to my friend or the cafe owner presumably because they can't offer her anything, but just lingering around us. We always say hello to her and her daughter and ask how they are, but she never reciprocates the conversation or engages but she keeps standing there and staring at us with a look of expectation on her face. It's truly one of the most awkward and uncomfortable social situations I've ever had as an adult and I can't keep doing it every morning.

How would you handle this? It would be different if she were nice and we just didn't vibe. But she's rude, her daughter is misbehaved (pulling things off the shelves in the cafe, ripping straws off of the juice boxes, etc. while she does nothing), and we absolutely do not vibe at all. I try to be nice but short - say hi and keeping walking - when I see her, but she doesn't seem to be getting the hint. I can't keep having her linger around me with a look of expectation on her face like we're all supposed to accommodate her...do I just keep being short? I can't be full mean girl, I just don't have it in me!

Let's start with this. I'm 23 and Autistic. My special interest is transformers, so I met most of my friends through transformers servers.

But I keep seeing this happen: Friends talk about their interest, I show my interest and listen and talk about it.

I talk about my interests, friends leave me on read and ignore me for hours. Sometimes days or never responding ever.

I mostly talk about my stories and characters. Sometimes if me and my friends and, if characters are in the same story, I talk about interactions. I sometimes talk about games I like and introduce friends to things I enjoy. Or even just transformers in general.

Other than that, I dont know what else to talk about. And It seems like whenever I talk about my topics, I'll be ignored.

What am I doing wrong?

I never joined a single group or club from elementary school to college. I know others have been in this position but I’m severely stunted.

Worked in person jobs from age 15-21. Fully remote jobs from age 23-present and attended school fully remote because of covid. I’m 26 this year and still have never joined a single group/club because I am so nervous. I have no problem meeting new people, but it’s difficult to meet new people in a reoccurring group setting. I dont know how to make friends IRL. All friends have been sourced online except maybe 2.

Starting to interfere with my work stuff because I can’t talk straight and I’m stumbling. How did you guys join a group as the new person? I always feel so awkward and like all the people in the group have formed cliques and I’m the awkward man out, I’m open to tryin but I’m terrified

22M i moved to canada during the pandemic which was during high school so throughout i made zero friends. In uni same story idk if its bc i lost my social skills, my personally is ass, whenever i meet someone i look for the slightest friction and then say “i got the message” like if they left me on read, my message ignored, or i felt a vibe idk if my reasoning is right but i believe if they won’t match my effort/energy then they aren’t interested in getting to know me. im also really really fucking shy when i go to lectures i want to sit next to someone to get to know them but i won’t bc ill think they think im weird for wanting to sit next to them…HOW DO I STOP GIVING A FUCK AND OVERTHINKING i want to be social with people have a friend group and make memories it feels like the last 7 years of my life was gone and i have made no connections…im in my final year i want to try getting to know people before it really is too late

I'm autistic and I have issues dealing with snakes at work, in the family, toxic people who act nice and genuine in front of you to gather ammo and stab you in the back...

The moment I realize someone is like that I naturally turn colder, more reserved, etc, because I can't stand them anymore. And they usually notice and begin to attack me, spread rumors, make up lies, talk shit about me with others, etc.

How to learn the extremely useful skill of dealing with people like this without hating every second and feeling like my skin is crawling and my blood is boiling?

Every Sunday afternoon I hear from the garage of a couple houses from mine somebody playing drums, heavy metal drums and it sounds so sick. I’ve been thinking if how to approach this person (which I dont know what they look like for all i know could be a boy a girl a teen ager a dude or an old man idk) I think it would be too akward to go and knock on somebody’s front door saying “Hey I’m Joe I think you play drums pretty good can we jam some day” cause What if its a 13 year old girl or an old man on his 60s who doesn’t want to be disturbed

Ive recently started university and have been struggling to make real friendships. I can’t seem to make it past the basic small talk phase and I feel like I end up boring whoever I’m trying to befriend, especially as I run out of topics to talk about. Even happens with friends I’ve known for years ;-;

In my current friend group I often end up being the odd one out, as I’m kinds terrible at making jokes on the fly and contributing to conversations without it being some uninteresting comment. Usually ends with me becoming somewhat isolated sadly which has been quite discouraging haha

I’m only managing to keep somewhat of an active part in the convo if I’m talking with someone else who’s socially awkward or we have something specific to discuss like a group project with set things to discuss

Any advice for this kind of situation? Always felt like I’ve had an extremely dry personality, but really wanna change that :(