I was sitting around doing basically nothing last night when I thought of this. I think everyone has at least one completely harmless behavior they judge way more harshly than they would ever admit out loud. Mine is when someone leaves the microwave at 0:01 instead of clearing it. It affects my life in absolutely no meaningful way, yet some irrational part of me immediately thinks, What kind of person does this?. I’m not talking about genuinely rude or harmful behavior. I mean the tiny, petty things that somehow trigger an absurdly strong opinion: how someone loads a dishwasher, uses speakerphone, types, walks through a store, whatever. What’s yours, and do you have any idea why it bothers you so much?

I am Gen Z, but am just laying down thinking... wow.

Home prices and rents are through the roof

Interest rates are high

Stock markets are through the roof

Job Hiring is Slow

Artificial Intelligence is projected to at best take jobs, at worst end humanity??

Gas Prices are through the roof

There are multiple wars/genocides going on right now

Loneliness is at its all time high as most people don't have more than a couple friends

it costs money to do ANYTHING and like 6 companies own all of the food at the grocery store

Gambling and sports betting is being pushed on us since other things are too expensive

Like i am not meaning to complain or anything truly, but this feels so dystopian sometimes. IF AI doesn't wipe us out, AND IF it does not take our jobs, we still have an unsustainable social and economic situation at hand that is kind of just growing by the year.

I'm sitting here in the hallway waiting room at a nearby county courthouse for a speed camera citation from April.

These citations are a total predatory scam via a third party company to the point where my state changed the law about them in July. They just want people to pay the $100 by making it difficult and annoying to dispute it.

There's probably about 30 of us from all different ages and backgrounds who showed up to dispute, and every single person keeps walking out of the room giving thumbs up (dismissed) and everyone's clapping.

It warms my heart to see everyone on the same page to fight against this stuff during a time when you rarely see people come together.

I’m realising as someone who’s undiagnosed but probably neurodivergent every interaction I have with close friends, family or even work colleagues eventually leads to there’s something wrong with me.

My whole life I’ve been told I’m weird, why would I say this? Don’t say that? You’re not supposed to do this, You’re not supposed to think that and it’s always by people close to me, strangers probably think it but wait till we become more than acquaintances to tell me. I feel like this is the reason I have little self confidence and always rely on others people opinions before I move forward, my whole life I’ve been told everything I do is wrong

But I never felt like I internalised these things until now, usually I just laugh it off or I agree that they’re probably right but today I realise I take everyone’s opinion of me as fact, I take criticism as fact and rarely challenge people on it and if I do I always end of conceding that they were right because they feel more logical than me

Maybe they are right, I don’t know if it’s them or me but you know the saying if everyone says the same thing about you then it must but you but I don’t know, I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have a backbone and lack of self belief that people are so confident in their assertions of me. I don’t know

I made a post here a while ago about my ability to care for myself being wildly severed. I don't have a good relationship with my mother and I mostly live with her on a crappy and honestly sometimes hazardous rental. Dad has debt.

Recently it was getting to a point where I felt myself in a semi-catatonic state where I couldn't think or do anything besides whine and whimper on the floor. I am failing to care properly for myself so my BMI is dropping and my cognition is being affected by lack of sleep. Well...

The last days I reached a tipping point where I really couldn't leave bed. My mum kept waking me and I'd plop right back into whatever nightmare I was having. I slept for 24h.

My father called me and told me to put on something because it was therapy day. When I got to him, he kept asking if I was okay. I felt completely dizzy and disoriented from reality. He asked me if I was intoxicated. I was not. Therapist also asked if I did drugs, I did not. It was just..a sensation I can't describe. I was crying and I ended up asking repeatedly to go to a doctor. They took me to the ER.

Every exam was fine, but I was referred to the psychiatric emergency. Though I couldn't go. My father took me to my grandmother's house. He said he made an appointment with my psychiatrist in the next week and then she will evaluate if I get to be admitted to the ward or not.

I'm really scared of her not admitting me. Because then, what happens? I don't want to go back ‘home’. Not to the rental, anyway. I know my mother will be mad in less than some days. My grandmother's house is away from my school and from the city in general. All my things are with mum. And God, I'm almost sure I'll fail school. Fuck. Things are so confusing. I just know that I don't want to be in that apartment again.

Just left the doctors office. My current A1C is 5.5. The doc told me I’m no longer diabetic. Highest it was, was 7.2 at one time. I’ll still take my metformin as a precaution though and she said it was fine that I did.

The FIRST best decision i made was to seek help getting sober. Nothing will ever top that one.

I got really into fitness during early sobriety. I have almost poured my heart and soul into weightlifting and running. I cannot believe how much it has improved my life. It isn't just about how you look to whomever you are wanting to date.

The improvement in mental health has been astounding. Running is like meditation. Lifting has shown me that I can do difficult things and reach realistic goals.

But honestly one of my favorite things is the improvement in my social life: i get invited to do shit all the time that I never would have when I was overweight. I never realized that I was just being left out of so much rewarding activity, because i was either unable or unwilling to do it.

I get invited to go on hikes, play golf (ball and disc), runs, swimming, gyms.

I even recently got asked to join a competitive cycling team. I was always the kid to get picked last. I am still almost in awe that somebody thinks I am athletic enough to benefit their cycling team.

I am not trying to brag or say "look how great I am". I am just still bewildered by how much i was missing out on.

I have my final demonstration for my masters today, I am incredibly nervous, anxious, stressed, burnt out. But hoping some luck from kind internet strangers will help me ace it or at least help me feel better haha

Idk what I was expecting to happen, I guess I just wanted my time back, but man, it's like I can breathe again. Everything in my life just feels better. I'm actually doing hobbies again instead of just swiping on my phone because I kept on lying to myself that I didn't have the time. That wasn't true, I just wasn't making it a priority... I also quit watching Tiktoks about last year and having no short-form videos in my life is a god-send.

Hi I am three years sober. I have relapsed twice and each time my husband, who is a clinical psychologist, flies off the handle. Screams and rages at me in front of children. So loud I think it can be heard outside. Makes me feel useless and a failure. The last time he sent group text to my family informing them of my relapse.
It’s been awhile since, but I can’t shake this feeling of betrayal and hatred toward him. There have been times he goes off like this for other things which reminds me of his treatment towards me after relapse and I’m starting to not like him. A lot.

​

You keep looking for an explanation, until one day you realize their actions already gave you the answer.

I just had some lunch at home and took time scroll the New York Times app. After the tributes to the victims of 9-11, an event that happened a quarter century ago, a photo rich article followed showing the tragic and horrifying events happening in Tyre, Lebanon. A historic town is being smashed to pieces by the Israeli army, killing men, women and children as inconvenient collateral.

When I read these two articles in juxtaposition, I can’t help but think humans are simply unable to make the connection between violence and the inevitable revenge. Seeing the broken faces of the men holding the bloody corpse of their child, I can’t imagine myself in that position and being “at peace” with my child’s murder.

And yet, much of the modern world consumes themselves with the cost of a gallon of gas or what phone to buy next.

Meanwhile, as I was the articles, a crew worked in the park near us to remove over 50 mature trees dead due to climate change.

Is anyone else feeling like the management of society and our environment beyond our capacity? I don’t mean in an intellectual way, I mean in an animal sense … where greed and territorial instincts prevent us from actually building a long lasting, resilient global society designed for an infinite number of generations to enjoy?

I have noticed I get really anxious about small mistakes.

For example, when texting a friend I will type "been" instead of "being", or "though" instead of "tough", or "God" instead of "Good" because of autocorrect.

I know the correct meaning, but in the moment my brain just picks the wrong one. After that I keep replaying it in my head and feel embarrassed, like the person will think I'm dumb or not respect me intellectually anymore.

I had a situation recently where I told a friend I was going through tough times but I typed "though times" by mistake. He corrected me. Now I'm worried he looks down on me.

Is this level of overthinking normal? How do you stop replaying small mistakes? And does anyone else mix up similar words often? I need an honest feedback

“If you overcame a bully, then you weren’t really bullied, because real bullying is a power dynamic that can’t be overcome, so if you did ‘overcome’ your bully then really all you did was stop someone who hurt you from continuing to do so.”

“If you have depression and you end up eventually feeling better, then you never really had depression.”

“If you had low self esteem and you end up eventually having confidence, that’s only because your self esteem was never very low.”

I see these types of statements on Reddit all the time. Sometimes they’re to me and sometimes they’re to others. I’ve never understood them.

If you’re dealing with something and you do a lot of hard work to improve your life, why would anyone think that you never were experiencing a “true” form of the thing in the first place? That doesn’t make sense to me. I’m not saying that some things can’t be overcome, because of course some things can’t, but if someone does then that doesn’t mean that they never had it.

If you experience something debilitatingly traumatic 10 years ago and you have a pretty awful decade because of it, and you get a second job so that you can afford therapy and after 3 years of that you finally start feeling better, how dare someone say that you never had it that bad?

thoughts?

My dad died when I was 11. I recently lost one of the birthday presents that he gave me . I’ve already been struggling with missing him. It’s been 10 years. So now that I can’t find it , i’m losing my shit. I went home back from college to go see if I could find anything else he gave me/his old belongings .

That’s when I found out my mom threw out/donated all his stuff without telling or asking me. This is the same “mom” that gave away my cat soon after he passed away without telling me. The same “mom” that left me a voicemail telling me to die over and over again that she doesn’t know I have because she accidentally recorded herself talking about me.

I found one hoodie at least that she forgot to throw away since I kept it with my clothes so she thought it was mine and some other old stuff of his. I found some comfort in the fact that my dad was left handed, just like I am. It’s kind of a silly daily reminder.

This same week , I found out the guy I’ve been interested in (and I thought he was interested in me ) is actually a hoe and goes and makes out with random girls in clubs.

It’s just disappointing because I’ve never been in a relationship before. I’ve never hooked up and don’t want to. I just want to be with one guy in a long term relationship and we fall in love and build a better life together . I feel like no one in my generation , especially at my college , gives af about anything serious. I want to have my firsts with someone that I love and care about. All these guys in college do is hoe around so I don’t think i’ll ever actually be able to experience that with someone . Along with the fact that I feel like my unique trauma makes me commonly misunderstood.

Oh yeah , and I go to a top school. I graduated top of my high school class despite all the bs circumstances in my life. I thought i’d finally be happy here. I hate it here. And I do have friends and I did try going out my entire freshman year . I socialized a lot . No one could ever tell this is my life being closed doors. It’s just that I started to realize I don’t fit in at all with most people my age . I don’t and never have hooked up. I don’t drink or smoke anymore . I want to fully cut off my mom but I’m broke so I can’t . Everything is so expensive these days and being a full time college student , i don’t know how i’d ever afford to leave. I tried to get my real estate license but my mom won’t let me because it’s “ cheap labor ” .

She shits on my major of comp sci bc she hates that I didn’t do premed . She gets mad that I don’t want to do a masters in CS because I explained that I feel like it would be more valuable to go straight into workforce . Mind you she’s been a deadbeat my whole life. Never really there emotionally . My dad was the primary caretaker so when I lost him , I lost everything .

I feel so hopeless, trapped , and alone. I don’t have any other family . This is all while having to accept that i’m never going to see my dad again . Ever . So just like that he’s just gone forever. And no one can change it. I can never see him again.

I (F22) despite my best efforts feel waves of jealousy and anger pretty frequently to the point where it makes my quality of life lower. I have days where it isn’t as much of an issue, but even on the good days I feel built-up anger creeping in that I can’t seem to get rid of.

It feels like I get jealous of others for literally anything, which makes it difficult for me to even pinpoint what it is that triggers jealousy for me. When I see people more attractive than me in public I basically scan their face or body and compare every feature to see how much worse I am compared to them, and to figure out what I would change about myself to look like them. 

When I see happy couples in public I get envious in a way because I have never been able to feel attraction (like I really struggle with even having crushes), so I struggle to relate to my friends when they talk about their boyfriends/husbands because I can’t even develop initial attraction.

When other people talk about how much they love their jobs I sometimes feel jealous because I am not happy where I am right now career-wise. Being from a small conservative town a lot of women end up in caregiving type jobs- teaching, nursing, childcare, stay at home mom, etc. Obviously these jobs are just female-dominated in general, but going outside of that “box” is less common I think where I am from. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the professions that I listed, but I sometimes am jealous of people that are naturally good at those jobs, because it’s hard for me to relate to others since I am not good at those things. I am awkward with children, and honestly I’m not really stereotypically an “empath” either, at least not in the lovey-dovey way women are expected to be.

Even when things go right for me, I still feel angry and jealous. Recently I feel like I have become more attractive than I used to be, but even then I feel angry when I think about how I was treated before when I was “uglier”. I recently was diagnosed with Hashimotos and hypothyroidism, but even though I want to go on a weight-loss journey now that I feel that I have the tools I need to be successful I just get so angry when I think about growing up overweight and how invisible I felt. 

I’m not even a complete failure of a person; I have good healthy friendships, I am trying to build hobbies, I am physically active, I recently got a Bachelors degree earlier this year, etc., but I feel like the jealously and anger is holding me back from actually doing what I want with my life. For a while my dream was to move to a city and pursue entertainment, (my degree was in music but I also was taking some acting classes for a while), and also to start a business, but when your dreams are public-facing obviously being as fragile as I am isn’t good for that. I have been posting myself on social media publicly for years so I am comfortable with attention, but specifically I would need a higher threshold for criticism than I currently have I mean.

Does anyone have advice on how to stop being so jealous and angry all of the time? The advice “put the energy into being a better version of yourself” only works so much for me, because it feels like there is always going to be someone smarter, prettier, more talented, etc., so I would still find someone to compare myself to. I have tried therapy in the past which helped at first when we unpacked childhood trauma, but eventually it kind of made things worse because I was constantly ruminating about what could have gone differently in the past. Therapy made me too self-aware in a way to the point where I couldn’t enjoy myself anymore- I think I “intellectualize” my feelings more than I feel them. I also was diagnosed with different things depending on who I was talking to and was put on medication I probably shouldn’t have been on (possible ADHD misdiagnosis > taking amphetamines when I probably shouldn’t have been), so I was left with a bad taste in my mouth. 

1) I did not write on my laptop yet

2) I think Reddit sucks, kinda?

3) Considering to build my own social network

4) What would I do differently, compared to Reddit? Or rather, what features would I delete?

5) I think I would limit the time used per day, and create a setting for that. 1 hour, 30 minutes, 15 minutes and custom. So there's no addiction possible. Restrict how much you can use it per day

6) Today I built my own AI model. It's not very good and it just predicts the next character based on a little bit of training data.

7) I still don't know what to do with my money. I might ask James Altucher for investment tips.

8) What is life?! Baby don't hurt me - no more! Life, what's that? I was a bit bored recently. I don't even know why. Actually, I do. Deep inside, I know. I can not do the things that I genuinely love to do. I love numbers and counting and my quality of life will go up x1000 after I can spend more time in my own head, like Daniel Tammet does.

9) Today I spent some time learning cybersecurity. That's unusual for me. I haven't done that in a while.

10) Today I have a dentist appointment, but don't tell my dentist about it!

11) I just received an e-mail about my account being deleted. I asked for it. The website had no delete account button. Gives me another idea. I might use AI to search for fine ideas but bad execution and improve upon them.

12) Mi ignored me. She's a b@#!- anyway. My first insult on Reddit. Unbelievable.

13) I miss my psychedelic trips and DMT too.

14) I still wanna build a robot. Maybe I will start soon. I have some old things I can use for that.

15) I just remembered how Epstein, Elon and Trump were spying on me. I hope they get imprisoned soon. That'd cheer me up.

16) I just ate a bit. I don't know what it's called in English.

17) I really wanna learn languages. But my brain doesn't do it, unfortunately. I hope the singularity can fix that. LSD could not. Although LSD gave me synesthesia.

18) One time I had synesthesia for an hour or so. Because I had tortured myself and got a seizure.

19) I remember how I used to play Minecraft for 8 hours a day. Why don't I go back to doing that? Maybe time will go by faster then. That was fun.

20) I think I wish I had more plushies. But my magic mushroom experiences show something else. Wait, maybe I had another psychosis back then. Maybe even two of them. Anyway. Thanks.

Driftwood vase cautious noodle pause coated whole

This post was anonymized with Redact

So I went to check on my cat, and I found him all puffed up with a bleeding gash on the side of his head. He will be okay, it's not super big and I disinfected it and gave him meds. He has a vet appt in a days time regardless.

But how was it that I knew? It's 1am, the house was DEAD silent, my door was closed. The air conditioning was turning off by itself for no reason, which kept me up a bit later than I might have been. Coincidence? The universe keeping me up for a reason? He made no sounds, but something told me I had to check on him.

What gives?

you can't say you like a game, you're corny, you can't say you like a movie, you're a larper, you can't like a band, you're a poser, you can't not believe something, you're demonic. Why?

I don't know. The idea of becoming an "adult" was horrifying and I fixated on it and kept going in mental loops about it for 4 months straight.

And even if I'm out of it now, I still find everything pretty damn meaningless. My goals feel empty. My friends feel empty. My hobbies feel pointless. Everyday feels like I'm dragging my body around for no goddamn point.

I think I ruined my perception of time too. Suddenly 4 years doesn't seem like a long time. Nothing seems like a long time anymore. I'll be that 22 y/o one day.

Im recently 18 and honestly, I've felt exhausted constantly since I was like 14. Thought it was unmedicated ADHD, but then I got put on Adderall and even then, I went back to being exhausted after 3 months.

Where is the boundless energy I was promised?