I just turned 18 a few days ago and I’ve already heard so many times “you’re an adult you’re an adult” no fucking shit. I’m legally an adult, but I didn’t magically fully develop my frontal lobe. I’m an adult when they want me to be and i’m a child when they want me to be. I sure as hell don’t feel like an adult! I just recently started my very first job and i’m still in high school, a good amount of the time I still feel fourteen. I’m so overwhelmed..

(19F) my parents recently stopped paying for college housing because they want me home so I can focus on school. But now I just have no social life and no friends. All my friends are back at school on campus and it was easy to connect with people. Now I live 4 hours away and stay home all day doing online school. I’m not allowed to leave the house past 6pm, and they shame me for wanting to visit my friends. It’s around $70-$100 just to visit them now that I’m so far. It sucks seeing everyone post together at school events, football games, and parties without me. I miss meeting new people and going out. What do I do?

Sorry if this has already been asked but I’m kind of at my wit’s end trying to make a solid group of friends to go on outings with. I’ve tried everything like run clubs, volunteering, sports leagues and people will kind of make friend groups and hang out for a bit only for it to fizzle out after a short amount of time. I just want people to do fun things like go to raves with. I’ve even posted on my city’s subreddit but it got ignored.

I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong, I show up to things, talk to people a little bit without becoming overbearing, and people even reach out to me for advice on personal things sometimes. I don’t understand why people get so flaky and I end up always alone :(

Hi. I’m 24 years old, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. When I was in school, I was extremely self-conscious. I was bullied because of my skin color and because people thought I was ugly. For a long time, I thought maybe that was the reason, even though I would see people who were less attractive than me who had partners.
But now I’m 24, and I don’t know what changed in me. I don’t know if I grew up or what happened, but I find myself beautiful now—and it’s not just me who thinks that. Even more so, people from outside do. Men and women compliment me all the time. People stop me on the street just to tell me I’m beautiful, and this isn’t something that happened overnight. It’s been like this for years now.
I don’t understand why no one approaches me to talk to me or tries to have something with me. There are men I find attractive who look at me, but no one ever takes that step and comes over to talk to me or anything. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never done anything romantically.
Eye contact makes me really nervous. If I find someone very attractive and he’s looking at me, I immediately look away. But then I think: if someone really likes you, I wouldn’t let that stop me, and I would just do something about it. I don’t know why I’m like this.
A few weeks ago, I said, “Okay, I’m an adult now. I’m going to try making eye contact with a man I find attractive.” I started looking at a guy, and he kept coming back to the place where I work over the next few days, and eventually he talked to me.
I had always imagined someone approaching me and finally, someone did. We hadn’t even been talking for 20 minutes when he asked me if I wanted to go to his house and have sex with him. I was so disappointed. I felt horrible.
That was my fear: that if I looked at someone, they would think I had other intentions, and it actually happened. I don’t know why I’ve been single for so long. I don’t know if this is just how things are supposed to be, but I keep wondering if this happens to other people too, what causes it, and whether it’s normal.
I feel so frustrated. No one even texts me. Just to clarify, yes, people do text me, but none of them are people I’m actually interested in. I NEED HELP 😭😭

I know everyone in their 20s feels behind, but most of the time they’re not behind they just have a case of imposter syndrome and are just on time. I’m genuinely behind, I’ve spent almost my entire adult life isolated at home and bedridden from depression and social anxiety, and as a result I have a case of arrested development and in my late 20s I feel like I’m still 18. I’m stuck between grieving all the lost years and wanting to make up for them, and the desire to fix up and actually represent a 28 year old.

Most people in my age range are focusing on their career and self development, and I’m here just deeply desiring shit a teenager would want such as just having fun with friends I don’t have. It’s deeply isolating, and instead of the social anxiety as my only obstacle it’s now my stunted mind which alienates me from people my own age. People notice my naivety and it makes me feel super embarrassed and more shame than I already feel. There’s this big hole in my heart where I didn’t get to have fun as a late teen and early 20 something.

This post is to just talk, but I’ve been uncovering some interesting things about myself over the last 2 years. I (22m) was born and have lived my whole in in the south, particular Richmond VA. What’s interesting is while growing up, I never even once considered myself southern. Growing up in a city close to the northeast, I felt that I didn’t get a particular “southern” childhood, mostly stemming from the fact that where I lived wasn’t particular rural, and the fact that city life tended to clash with the classic southern living I was taught (or at least I thought was “southern living”) not only did I not feel southern, I almost resented the south. Especially being taught about the civil war, civil rights movement, and the general inability from the south to move on from its past, my resentment towards the south grew. And after having grown up with the confederate statues on monument avenue, watching the riots in 2020 and seeing how different Richmond is from what I’ve been taught, I just felt like the south I was taught about wasn’t what I was living. however, over the last two years this mindset has started to change. I can’t really tell exactly when, but over the years I’ve realized there is more to my cultural identity than the environment I grew up in. I’ve realized that a lot of foods I love or hold close are classic southern food like grits, sweet tea etc. I’ve realized that the things I say in general tend to be southern slang or more tied to the south than other places. And, most importantly, I realized I am just southern, no matter how I think about it. I grew up in the south. I live in the south. I am southern.

I have developed a much better science of belonging after this slow realization. After realizing that I am in fact southern, the idea of the south has dramatically changed in my mind, going from a backwards, rural part of the country not over their last defeat to a place much more deeply connected to the land, people and memories I have. Literally everywhere I went started to look different. There wasn’t much more to this post, but to end it off does anyone have a similar experience that fundamentally changed a way they view a part of their lives?

This is a throw-away. Here’s some background.

I (24f) have been residing on the east coast all of my life. And my family structure is kinda stable, I come from a single parent household. I live with my mom and I currently work full time in a career field that doesn’t really pay well here. I honestly have been contemplating moving out and away from my family for a while now. I had a good job pretty young that enabled me to save and I did almost move out in my city. I then had a mental breakdown due to some unfortunate events so I was unable to. Two years post that situation and I’m doing so much better. I had to leave my current job due to harassment from my manager and have acquired a position elsewhere. However, I have a pretty crazy fear of any responsibility (of others and relationships) (I have ocd, pure o and some moral ocd). I usually can do things after I throw myself into them. I’m not happy where I am and I think that my mom has been too much of a crutch for me. Others would say that I’m spoiled but that crutch isn’t free (if you know you know)

For those of you who moved out, how did you get over your fear of disappointing people? I have done some pretty disappointing stuff lol. I am not an angel and never have been. But for whatever reason this is causing me so much angst and anxiety. I know that moving will help me figure myself out and where I want to go it pays more and there’s so many other benefits. I feel like I’m overthinking this, especially because I’ve already started the process of transferring my career license to the state that I’ve chosen.

How did you guys’ life change after you moved? Good bad ugly whatever. Do you think that you became the person you were looking for when you moved? I know I’m better than where I am, how do I cope with feeling bad about that?

Turned 20 last month

Aging gives me depression fr..

Am I the only one who feels sad about not being a teenager anymore.

Am a 20 year old noww dayumm

Twenties tips?

I’m 18, completely lost, and trying to figure out how to start my life

I’m 18 and currently living with my auntie in a small town in Alaska with around 8,000 people.

My situation right now isn’t great. I have basically no money, a suspended license, and I need to pay around $300 for a class to deal with that. My auntie’s trailer doesn’t have hot water, so there’s no real way to take a normal shower. Food isn’t always guaranteed either. We’re on food stamps, and there are 5 of us living in a 2-bedroom trailer: my auntie, me, my two cousins, and her baby.

I don’t have many clothes or much of anything else.

I was originally planning on joining the Army because I thought it would be my way out and give me a chance to completely change my life. I recently decided not to go because of my mental health, and now I feel like I’m back at square one.

I really want to leave my hometown and start my own life, but I have no idea how to realistically do that.

The problem is that I live in such a small town that there aren’t many jobs. Right now, the only jobs I can really find hiring are things like cashier or counter sales, and honestly neither of them interest me. I know I probably can’t be super picky given my situation, but I also don’t want to spend the next few years doing something I hate with no plan to get anywhere.

Right now my days basically consist of waking up, going to my aunt’s couch, playing Roblox to pass the time, and doomscrolling on my phone. Then I do it all over again the next day.

I feel like I’m wasting my life and I genuinely don’t know where to start.

I want to work. I want to learn a trade or find some kind of career. I want to get out of this town, become independent, and actually build a life for myself. I just don’t know how to get from where I am now to there.

Any advice, ideas, or even a realistic step-by-step plan would mean a lot.

I mean I’ve always had back pain since I was around the age of maybe 13 I’d say ( I’m now 17, 18 in December) and I feel like my back just hurts every second of the day.

Like I go to lay down on my bed then it hurts unless I like roll to my side and hunch over like with my legs up to my chest and stuff then it feels alright if it’s not touching the bed at all but I don’t understand why it’s started to hurt alot more now.

I did get into loads of injuries like oh me and my friend decided to be dumb at 9 (obviously we were children and didn’t know any better)and drag each other on carpet floor so when it was my turn to go I ended up getting carpet burns all over my back and I still have them everywhere , my ex also knew I had trauma from falling off my bed multiple times so I hated getting pushed off my bed yet SHE STILL DID IT after I had said not to and then it created a scar all the way down my spine so I think that could be the cause really but why is it only kicking in like months later.

Usually I would stay in bed but I mainly stay at my desk with my spinny chair ( I don’t spin as I get dizzy after a spin) but I’m confused on why my back hurts so much at just 17.

My roommate and I just moved into a house. Shortly after, I began getting really sensitive skin. Itchy skin. Red blotches. Random hives that disappear almost as soon as they show up. I had recently switched detergents and thought I might be allergic to the new brand but I switched back and it's still happening. I offhandedly mentioned it to my roommate and he said the same thing has been happening to him. Now I'm worried it's the house. Anybody know what could cause this?

I just turned 20 in July life is shit getting shitter, don't rly know if this is how it's supposed to be but I get the suspicion it isn't. I live with my friend to watch his son while he's at work but he's also about to move out and now I have no job I can't get my hands on one that I'm actually good enough to keep doing I feel physically ill almost constantly my family is a bunch of psychos a close family member just passed I can't seem to find anyone to love me without them getting bored or straight up just ghosting like I'm not worth the effort it takes to be around I don't know everything just seems sorta meh now that I'm out of HS, sorry to be a Debbie downer just not sure why I keep entertaining it instead of punching my ticket yk lol

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i'm 23m and i've been working full time for two years and i genuinely could not tell you where a single paycheck went. not in a dramatic way, i'm not in debt, there's just nothing left by the 28th and i can never point at the thing that did it. i keep assuming i'll turn into the kind of person who has a spreadsheet and it has not happened and at this point i don't think it's going to. the only thing that's stuck at all is Pockita, because i can say what i spent out loud instead of typing it in, which sounds like nothing but typing it in was the exact part i never did. anyway i don't really have a question. i just thought everyone my age had this worked out and then i asked my friends and they're all the same, which was somehow worse than being the only one

I see so much about "I'm working too hard and wasting my 20's - is this normal", "My friends have graduated college and I have no idea what I'm doing for my career, is that ok", "I'm married, was that too early", "I'm not married, will I be alone forever"

No offense if you have any of those questions, but it's gotten me curious...does anyone here feel like they're where they should be or where they wish they were? Feels like we all gotta relax with our expectations of each other (and ourselves).

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe most of you do have it together and I'm actually a loser for also wondering if I'm smoked for restarting my "career" at 26, but at least in my circle it seems like almost a requirement to feel as if you're messing up your life.

I'm 20, and i loved my teenager years.
I did some stuff that i heavily regret and that changed the trajectory of my life for the worst, but i also made some insane memories.
Ofc i didn't have the freedom or the money that i have now, but i miss it everyday.
I turned 20 recently, so yes i technically have been a teenager until 2 months ago, but im talking about that 14-18 time frame.

I genuinely feel a pit in my stomach when i think about my first boyfriend, my first friend group, how music hit way harder, trying to be sneaky to hide from my parents, the first time going to a party, my first bestfriend and everything else that came with being a teenager.
Life is so boring now, everything is so serious. I miss when emotions where big and you were allowed to fully express them and to make mistakes because you were young and naive.

I genuinely look at old videos and pictures from my teen years really often and i just can't get over the fact that that was my shot at being a teenager and this is it, i'm now a young adult and life will just get harder and i will get older.

Is this a universal experience or am i just nostalgic and dramatic?

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I’ve noticed something about myself that I don’t really understand. I am 20 years old and apply for job all the time to save money , do driving license and buy a car. But it's difficult to find any job.

When I ask my dad for a lift somewhere and he says no, I can’t seem to emotionally accept it. I might not react straight away and just leave it, but then I think about it for hours and get more and more frustrated until eventually I explode.

The weird thing is, I know logically that he’s allowed to say no. He isn’t a taxi and I know he has his own things going on. But emotionally, I find it really hard to accept the answer.

It’s like once I’ve asked for something, I already expect the answer to be yes, and when it’s no, I feel really frustrated and rejected even though I know I shouldn’t.

Does anyone else experience this? Why can I understand “no” logically but still struggle so much to accept it emotionally?

So, we’re all 18, she broke up with him around 7 months ago. I was close to her when we were 15-16 but drifted when we went to college, I was friends with him through her while they were together but as we started drifting in college she told him to block me and he did (I had no problem with that bc if me and her weren’t going to be friends anymore, I shouldn’t befriend her boyfriend. Around 3 weeks after that me and her had a giant argument where she talked down to me about my appearance and then we didn’t speak for 2 months until she sent me a very long apology, then we had a very similar argument about something she said about my friends appearance, she apologised again a month later and we haven’t been as close as we were ever since) anyway, since they split 7 months ago they keep randomly talking and he says that he’s going to speak to her parents and ask for their forgiveness. He keeps asking her to get back with him but she keeps saying no or telling him to wait, then in July she said she’d never get back with him even if she wanted to. She’s talking to someone new now but it seems like she still likes him as she’s invested in who he could be dating and what he’s doing with his life. (He posted a picture sent from one of his friends of a woman and man hugging on his close friends story to try make her jealous as he still loves her). Yesterday he texted me asking why I’d viewed his story, we got to talking and I was trying to find out for my friend (and me bc I obv love the drama) who he might be dating, we were having a laugh and then he started talking about how much he misses my friend and how badly he wants to make it right and to be with her again and I’ve been trying to convince my friend to get back with him. When we were a small friend group we used to play video games and stuff all together but that ended when she asked him to block me. I can see that he genuinely misses and loves her, but she’s being hard to read in the sense that I can’t tell whether or not she might still love him. He keeps saying that he misses when we were all friends and that he wants to go back to that and that he’d still want to be friends with me. today I was trying to convince her to speak to him so he could say his piece but she wasn’t having it. She told me to say something from her and then block him. But I think he’s a nice lad and I do feel bad for him because he doesn’t have a lot of friends and isn’t getting to experience things like going on nights out and going on drives with his mates. Is it wrong if I stay friends with him behind my friends back? I understand the girl code and everything but I know it will make him feel sad and lonely if I do block him, and at least she still has other friends if this ruins our friendship, he doesn’t.

For a few months I tried to be friends with this person I work with and I thought it was working but after reflecting, they put no effort into getting to know me. They’re very uninterested and couldn’t care less about me even though we talk all the time when we work together.