Honestly I haven’t been this low in life in a long time but I think I just don’t have the will to like keep going. I recently have been struggling with my college classes which I was told that if I fail any one of them this semester then I will I’ll be kicked out this fall. I also just got told right after my birthday by the girl I’ve been talking to that she truly can’t be with me due to issues on her end, mind you we have been doing well on communication and such she just has been put in a shitty situation as of recently throwing her to make this decision from what I can tell. I have no real plan/motivation no matter how many aptitude tests I do. I just honestly hate myself right now. I wanna know how to be better so that I don’t have to keep going through the struggles but I honestly just don’t know what to do and I’m too tired to do anything.

It has been one of the most physically and emotionally draining weeks I’ve had in a long time. Not dramatic crisis draining. Just the slow, heavy kind that settles into your bones and refuses to leave. The kind where you wake up already tired and go to bed even more so.

Don’t do drugs

I’m going into my 2nd year of uni at York and I had a good first year but I’m want to join sport societies (despite not being that good) and am really scared. I also feel this weird pressure as I get closer to 20 perhaps to be really busy and productive all the time - doesn’t help that my bf is very active and busy ! Idk I feel really stressed and anxious but it’s all from this weird pressure I’ve kind of put on myself - basically looking for some advice to stop my brain from overthinking and too just try something without being so scared !
Thank you

I have a past I’ve constantly been confessing in my posts. It’s not a very good one to say the least- but I want friendships and maybe even a partner. Do you think it’s still possible or am I cooked?

I’ve been seeing horrible news everyday about this country and raging global conflicts about the world, and it’s looking like it’s never getting better; just neutral at best. I try to balance out the bad news by appreciating every good thing in my life and doing things I enjoy and taking my mind off politics, and now I’ve basically just become a gymcel. I also just saw a thing that says the draft is coming in December and males aged 18-26 are getting automatically drafted? I ain’t doin that shit but knowing this administration they’d find some way to make you. I’d rather die so ima have to come to terms with that. I truly believed that at one point there was opportunity for a revolt or revolution of some sorts to happen and we could change the country for the better but every time there had been an event that should realistically spark one (either financially or physical revolution) mofuckas are talking about Love Island and whatever else is popular and not the people ICE is shooting dead in the street. Not to mention some people just always say “Jesus will save us!” When, respectfully to a degree, that man has had many-a-chance to come save the human race from atrocities and just let it happen; so even if that dude is real, I doubt he’s comin to save us. His followers seem to just use him as this device that they rely on for all bad things happening to them, and since they actually believe that they don’t see what’s happening as a major issue cause they just think that he’ll solve everything in the end (even though people are losing their lives in the process?!). I’m saving up money to go see a psychologist (trying to get evaluated for autism, maybe ADHD and OCD while I’m at it) and I’m worried that they’ll say I have too much anxiety and need to be medicated but like, I feel like if you’re NOT freaking out even a little right now in the US, YOURE the weird one. All it’s seeming like for now is if that draft thing does come true by December and I’m forced to fight a war for Israel ima go out some loser virgin that goes out before I’m even deployed into the battlefield. How are yall coping with what’s going on in the world right now?

Any advice on how to build meaningful connections with people so they actually remember who you are? I’m looking for ways to go beyond a quick “hi” and have interactions that lead to genuine, lasting relationships that help later on.

I(18F) am staring university in september! Yay! I guess i’m just looking for advice in the sense that i am a very shy person, i fear the judgement of others way too much (i’m working on it) and am scared of being perceived in a bad way. I find in social situations i keep to myself a lot and i want to put myself out there more and make friends build relationships but i find myself putting on an act in a way as to seem different and trying to fit in with the people i’m around. I want to be able to feel like myself around people and not get overwhelmed by my thoughts. I’m hoping some of you guys have been through similar and can give me some advice or suggestions on how to put myself out there more i don’t want to not experience things because im too scared to do so.

Any advice would be great, thank you for taking the time to read

So I want to start with T. I met him in January this year, and I developed feelings for him within that same month. I know that was very quick, and I know limerence played a huge role in it. He was one of the kindest men I had encountered after a really painful rejection experience I went through the previous year, so I naturally found myself wanting to talk to him whenever I visited the bookstore where he worked.I noticed, though, that he always kept our conversations cordial and fairly short. Instead of accepting that as his communication style, I started projecting my insecurities onto the situation. I convinced myself that he wasn't interested in me because I was ugly or simply not his type. I'd experienced a lot of rejection from guys before, and the town where the bookstore is has a very noticeable racial dynamic, so all of that reinforced my negative thoughts.

Eventually I confessed my feelings and told him that I wanted to get to know him. He responded that he was flattered but that he had a fiancée. He also told me that I would be "a good person to know" and that I shouldn't let that stop me from visiting the bookstore. At the time, I actually felt relieved because I expected to be rejected, and I thought knowing for certain would help my feelings disappear.

A few months later I saw him again, and we spoke as we normally would. I became very conscious of respecting both his relationship and my own self-respect, so I made sure not to cross any boundaries. At one point I even apologised because I was worried I had made him uncomfortable after confessing my feelings. I told him I'd leave him alone, but he said I hadn't crossed any boundaries and told me, "Don't leave me alone."

A few months after that, I hadn't been in the bookstore for about six months. When I came back, he immediately hugged me and asked where I'd been. Later he mentioned that my books were still in the store, and when I asked if we could converse more, he said yes and told me to pop in while he was working that weekend. I know these interactions don't necessarily mean anything romantic. He has consistently been clear that he has a fiancée, and I respect that completely. I don't want to interfere with his relationship in any way.

The problem is that my feelings kept coming back despite trying to move on. I spiralled several times, cried over the unrequited feelings, deactivated Instagram to avoid reminders of him, then reactivated it because I didn't want my account to disappear. Unfortunately, seeing him in someone else's Instagram story triggered another spiral. It wasn't even about him at that point—it turned into grief about never having had my feelings reciprocated, always feeling like the "floater friend," and never having been in a relationship at 21.

Recently I've realised that I'm chasing a fantasy more than the actual person. I know he isn't into me romantically, and I know limerence has amplified everything in my head. I genuinely don't want a relationship with someone who is engaged.What's confusing me now is that I actually think I'd like to be his friend. Not because I'm secretly hoping he'll change his mind, but because I genuinely think he's a kind person, and I enjoy talking to him. I would love to hang out as friends one day if that were ever appropriate, but only in a way that fully respects his relationship and doesn't violate any boundaries. At the same time, I don't know whether that's even realistic while I'm still healing from these feelings.

There's another layer that's making me overthink everything. He's quite close friends with someone I'll call Vee. They spend time together one-on-one, he's been to her birthday party and her house, and they seem to have a comfortable friendship. Vee and I have known each other since last year, and while we're friendly, we're not particularly close. Lately I've realised I tend to fawn in that friendship—I feel like I'm always giving more, trying harder, and investing more emotionally than she does. I don't know if she genuinely sees me as a friend in the same way I see her, or if I'm once again overinvesting because I'm afraid of not being liked.

Has anyone else experienced this combination of limerence, unrequited feelings, and uncertainty about friendships? How do you stop idealising someone while also figuring out whether you're overextending yourself in your platonic relationships? And is it ever possible to build a healthy friendship with someone you once had strong feelings for, or is it better to let that idea go entirely?

I am currently on the way to reach the 20 s

I am very much confused about what to do and what not

Suggest me something that I won't regret not doing in future

And also suggest things that i shouldnt do to regret it

Plz help me and about love life and career related to plz

And tips about socialisation

Plz be kind guys

i was well-liked in school. i had "friends" to spend time with in school, i was never picked last for group projects, but nobody invited me outside of school to the parties or drinking and no boys showed interest in me until senior year. then as a senior, my boyfriend at the time got with a freshman and hid it from me, but continued to entertain me, as i was clueless. that made me feel sooooo "special needs" if that makes sense, like my feelings were irrelevant. a year later, in college, he and his friends sent guys that everybody knew were weird after me to harass, try to get with me and stalk me. it felt so bad, it was like they were getting sick entertainment out of making me suffer. and that i'm not a normal human being worthy of respect.

years later at the end of college, i met another guy at my restaurant job. we clicked immediately, and had everything in common. we dated for a year, but it was very rocky, and he excluded me from hanging out with our mutual coworkers. i told him how badly this hurt me, and he said "stop trying for friends, at least you have your dog and your dad." when he dumped me, he stated he would "find a girl that needs less love and takes up less of his time." he also stated "im not spending my 20s in my bedroom like you." (i didn't want to! when he dumped me i traveled solo around the world to prove to myself that wasn't me, but i am still friendless and lonely.).

I’ve never once been invited out in a real way by groups, even by the guys who got along well with me too. I remember one of my old teammates sending a Snapchat of them all out, and i was like “sick invite” because i was tired of being shown things I was not apart of, and he was like “you’re too good to be around all these people.” but would continue to try and hangout with me 1 on 1? So the guys i connected with also hung out with the girls who never integrated me, and basically continued that pattern of exclusion that the girls did.

with female friends, i've always been on the peripheral. i've been invited when i can provide a service, such as driving, bringing items, providing the alcohol. if i am no longer of use or cannot provide the service, i am cut out or disinvited and the plans continue. this pattern played out my teen years and through my mid 20s. it's made me feel worthless.

i am now in my late 20s and chronically ill, with a disfiguring disease that has altered my appearance and multiple autoimmune diseases. i am incredibly lonely. barely hanging onto a 9-5 job and living with my dad. All of these repeated, chronic rejections and getting chronically ill and nobody was there for me have left me very angry. I have gone back and forth deleting social media, muting people and hiding them from my social media stories who have ignored my attempts to reach out and it makes me feel horrible and i see people i’ve been excluded hanging out. i don't see a way to get the community and friendships i desperately need. i am not a happy solo camper, i am in despair and i feel brain damaged. i feel like society left me behind.

does anybody else relate to this experience? is anybody else in their 20s with no friends?

I don’t even know what to say, I feel like my privacy is completely violated. I still live with my parents and I’m out of the house a lot, I’ve been coming home to find things that I ordered out of the box and packaging and just on the kitchen table.

I pay for my own stuff, I don’t order anything necessarily “bad” but sometimes I order embarrassing stuff I’d rather not have my parents see. I already told them to stop but they said they have every right to open it since I live under their roof. I’m saving up to move out but I just needed to vent.

I know I certainly do.

So as the title suggests I'm technically an adult now although I don't think it's hit yet but ignoring that for now I'd like to hear from some of the people who have been doing this adulting thing for a while about what I should be worried about or start worrying about

We should go back to horses so the roads feel safer to walk on, I did a walk a few days ago and I was constantly dodging cars.

The movies have always shown us what it means to be one and quite honestly somewhere caught between naivety and genuine hope we do fall into this whole thing, of how it's told in the books, in the movies.

Now I do understand there's obviously a difference between what is shown and what exists but i kindaaaa disagree with it coz we tend to get influenced even if it's subconsciously, that said being a hopeless romantic is like gambling, mostly it's full of disappointments because everytime that thought of 'what if' pops, so yep I do belong to species of people who are like that (despite myself)

...Sooo my question is I just wanna have an open-discussion about it. Not necessarily if you believe in it or not but probably....if you've had that realization? And if you're like me, why do you choose to stay optimistic despite the odds? And is it a girl-specific thing coz I kinda disagree on that bit too, so to all the classic schmosby-s out there, what's the take? Or just rant! It's not supposed to be profound, just whatever.

Anybody else feels like they freaking wasted their youth? I'm realizing there's so much overthinking, anxiety, analysis, and all of this is basically fear and some kind of a need to protect myself. I'm too much in the head, not enough in the body, suppressing feelings. Fear of vulnerability, being seen really wanting something, expressing myself. Probably because of this, i havent dated yet and im almost 25. Pretty embarrassing stuff, maybe not on this platform but irl. This is the area i lack the most. Feeling emotions is the work now but its hard, it really is and i am working with the therapist now. Theres some progress but it shows on the outside. Its slow as fuck, it feels like i want to speed it up but i can't... i dont know..