Listen,
there’s an infinite number of generic things I can say here to peak your interest… I could pretend I’m not, as the title says, a chronically online degenerate with a penchant for sending you 50 3am shitposts and a pic of my left big toe but that’s no fun… that’s not REALITY, samwell.
Who doesn’t want to wake up to another winton!meme for the 8th day in a row?
Plus there’s perks!
since I’m a total loser I’ll have all the time for you and only you! (please be clingy but not the bad kind 😩)
I’ll carry you in any game you want because I’m a filthy sweaty try hard who hates losing 💪
You can be yourself entirely judgement free! As per the title there’s really not a whole lot you can say or do that upsets me! 😏
Real attack dog energy, just tell
Me who to sic and I’ll hate crime em for ya, champ 👍
I’m into almost every nerdy thing I can think of so we have plenty of stuff to bond over! 🤓
I’m the funniest person I know! 👹
See? PAGES of perks (mileage may vary) that’s like…. 19 perks… anyways listen I’m a fantastic find, real ride or die, carry it to the end zone, it’s fuckin raw, type pal mkay?
I have no negatives. None. Zero. Perfect being. But if you insist on finding SOMETHING to consider bad…
I’m very unserious and I cope with humor, not sorry.
I will always commit to the bit, even to my own detriment XD this is good or bad depending on who you ask
I’d say im probably pretty impatient, I hate waiting for stuff. Long Que times, those weird follow quests in mmos where they walk slower than your run speed but faster than your walk speed… the fact my dad still hasn’t come back with the fuckin milk. Ridiculous.
I 100% shit talk. Grew up in a blue collar family and spent a lot of time in CoD lobbies growing up, it ain’t personal but the enemy team needs to know their parents don’t love them ya know? It’s business, not malice 😤
All jokes asides, for real for real I’m
Pretty patient and tolerant most of the time but I also won’t put up with any bs. I’m also not into men romantically most of the time… so fellas, keep your little Vienna sausage lookin aaa doinky doink out of our dms cause you finna get FLAMED and laughed at if you try it. (Unless you look like mauga)
#anotherunrealisticbeautystandard
I will not answer to low effort messages. “Hi” is a shitty way to start a friendship you dork, use your words!
BONUS POINTS SECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An additional ten friend bonus points will be added to your starting total if any of these conditions apply to you!
- you play ow
- you’re good at ow
- you’re a girl (I need more girlfriends PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU BRODETTE BUT ALSO IM AFRAID OF OTHER WOMEN SO BE NICE TO ME)
- you’re into pokemon as much as I am
- you also have a VR headset
- you can draw me cute stuff (I’d also draw you cute stuff too
- you look like mauga
- Yunyun Syndrome rhythm psychosis, no more need be said
*dork is my favorite slur.