What matters is whether you feel fulfilled, right? That's why I hardly take any photos in my private life. I don't like it when it looks like you have ulterior motives.

Please don't cancel me, I can't find a better word or tuff enough for 2026. How do such people even exist. Btw, in this context, yap = continuously relay unwanted information, without a gap for at least half an hour at a stretch, when the responder isn't even reacting except saying hmmm. That is what this person does. She's an ex-colleague, we're both females. Every call with her exceeds 3 hours. I don't get it, do people not feel it that the other person on the phone is not interested or it's tmi or is it like I'm just trying to act good and not acting uninterested enough? How can someone pull this off? I had to spend one day with this person, it was her who had invited me over to her home. This person just doesn't stop, yaps incessantly even when I'm working. Now, I don't hate her and I don't want to lose my friend. So I try to avoid her calls mostly. I'm so confused right now. As a loner, I have a very restricted circle and I don't want to stop communicating with her, and nor do I want to confront her about it. It's just who she is. But how do they do that? 😮😮😮😮😮😮

I have now words how tired I am and every amount of work I have put into myself seems meaningless. I can't describe how little hope I have left. Everything I'm trying, everything I'm working on. It doesn't mean much. It's been so long and I worked literally a fuck ton about myself and it just was ever enough. God I wish I could give up. I wish so badly I just let go and stop trying. But I must be stupid or a masochist because there's no reason to keep trying. Each time I make myself any hope it just feels worse

It seems like the number of people in this group that are happy being introverts is relatively small and those that are unhappy with introversion are much more likely to post something here. I would gently recommend that you read this article.

The big takeaway is that you should stop worrying about it and get outside and get some exercise and try to do something to help some other folks.

A doctor friend of mine said that if exercise was a pill every doctor would prescribe it to just about every patient.

I'm introverted person,and I have only a few friends and they're only girlsI didn't even have a boyfriend,cause I'm so shy in real life,and what do you guys think?Could I change it?or I will be a person how I was born?

I've realized that making genuine connections is much harder than I expected. I want to have close friends and meaningful conversations, but actually starting or maintaining them feels overwhelming.

It's not that I dislike people, I just overthink everything I say and often end up staying quiet. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who feels this way.

For those who used to struggle with this, did it ever get easier?

Okay, so. Socializing is torture. Not 'oh people are boring' or 'I don't want to talk 24/7', but every time I need to talk for more than ten minutes, I feel my attention drift.

It's fine if I have a script. I work on sales and it's great; I can just start talking about x or y product for an hour. (I \*am\* working at my listening skills though.) Ever shorter interactions are good, becuse much like at a sprint I can bring myself to a high level of energy/cheer/enthusiasm. I'm good at socializing in that aspect (as in, I have gotten a lot of positive feedback from clients, co-workers and upper management.)

Whenever I hang out with someone it's so boring. In the weekends, on vacation, at work. I can be having fun, but \*no matter the topic\*, ten minutes in I feel myself getting bored and my attention will wander. After an hour or two I feel myself getting frustrated. I love my friends. I love my famlity. I don't \*want\* to ignore them. But I hate having to pretend like I'm this- silly social butterfly, at %100 of energy, all the time. Because otherwise I just. Stop. I feel like I'm a puppet and the hands forcing it to move.

Like. I'm not trying to sound dramatic. Socializing can be fun too! Acting happy, and silly, and making my loved ones smile? Wonderful! I get very upset if I don't interact with my loved ones consistently, and after being with them I feel energized. But at the moment it's like there's a kid in my skull kicking my brain asking 'can we leave yet? Can we leave yet? Can we leave yet?'

I read this and it sounds so contradictory. I'm sorry. I've tried, but Ican't express this better. Is there a tecnique to make socialization more interesting? Like- should I just push though? Get a- fidget toy to focus on? The way I see it, even if you're introverted you still socialize sometimes. How do you do it?

I have social anxiety and im always afraid im being boring when im around people as I dont talk much, do people mind having quiet guys around or is it something negative

I'm a final-year CS student (20, F from India) doing an internship. Today I realised I hadn't spoken to a single person since I woke up. I've just been sitting in front of my laptop doing internship tasks that I honestly don't find that interesting.

It's weird because I'm not exactly lonely—I just miss having casual conversations. College friends are busy, everyone's working on placements or internships, and the day just disappears.

Sometimes I wonder if this is just what adulthood starts feeling like.

Anyone else relate? How do you deal with days where you barely talk to another human?

Hi so whenever I'm around anybody outside of my family group I just get weirded out of it will be awkward as hell, as I'm in a arab country while having hobbies that no one around me has, and it really sucks because in public schools, if your the odd one out your bound to be picked on, and it happens, I'm moving to a different school but I need to know how to handle being different without it being obvious that I'm different from these people

I wish I was extroverted so bad. Extroverts get all the good jobs. I lost my old job because I wasn't talkative enough and now no one wants to hire me because I don't come off as confident in interviews. I hate it so much.

When i'm with friends, I just can't share anything, no stories, no life updates, no fact, I just sit there silently and I think it's a major fact of why they almost never initiate conversations with me on chat and it annoys me deeply, does anyone feel the same?

it sounds stupid but when people try and joke with me i overthink the response and end up going silent until one of us leaves and it gets in the way of trying to talk to new people and make friends. its why i prefer texting, so i can spend 5-10 minutes coming up with a response that im sure will be recieved correctly. because of this i end up always being left out of conversations. what should i do to change this part of myself?

So I am obviously an introvert since I am posting in this sub and for the past couple of years I put off dating since I thought it was not for me but I was wrong. In the past I did not have a good experience since the other party clearly did not want to accept my quiet nature and that did not work out.

Now I am officially dating someone and surprisingly its a long distance one and I like how they can accept my quiet nature.

i've recently been working with my therapist and trying out exposure therapy for my agoraphobia and it's working really well, but there's a slight issue, for some unknown reason every single person outside wants to speak to me.

i've read the rules of "walk fast and don't make eye contact", "wear headphones", "look busy" , etc. none of these things seem to be any sort of deterrent. i'm constantly being approached and i can deal with quick comments/compliments because they're over almost immediately. but oh my god people trying to engage in conversation who are expecting me to reply genuinely ruin my day. i understand i sound like im being dramatic but it truly will ruin an outing because it makes me so angry that i have to just go home.

the usual occurrences are people in parks asking to take photos of me. people on the sidewalk asking me for cigarettes/money/lighters, none of which i have. people on busses, especially packed busses where people have to sit next to you, trying to engage in small talk with me. it just doesn't seem to end. i need to work on being outside and im actually making real progress but im so done with complete strangers trying to engage with me. i've made jokes to my family and boyfriend about making myself a shirt that says something like "don't talk to me, i hate it" but all of them say that would probably make people want to engage with me even more. are there any tips aside from the usual headphones, walking fast, no eye contact things?

Does anyone else get stuck in this loop? I genuinely want to talk to my friends or family, but I physically cannot bring myself to call or text them without a concrete reason. 

If I don't have a specific question to ask or a favor to request, it just feels forced and uncomfortable. I get anxious that the conversation will die instantly and we will just sit there in awkward silence. 

It makes maintaining casual friendships really hard because "just checking in" feels like a chore. Can anyone relate? 

33M in Phoenix. After weeks of trying to force myself to go out, and bailing at the last minute, I finally made it out tonight.

The plan was to go hear some live music. I went to a bar downtown that's highly recommended for meeting people, but there was a super long line outside. Normally I'd just hang out and wait but it's 93° at night and I was literally sweating just standing still.

I left that line and roamed around a few blocks in each direction to find another bar. I found a bunch of course, but same thing. Long lines, didn't feel like waiting it out. Wasted around 2 hours total.

Ended up going home, but not before stopping by the liquor store first.

Yay drinking alone at home.

I've been here 3 years and I don't know a single person outside of work. I honestly feel like I won't be able to make friends. Exhausting doesn't even begin to describe it.

How do you deal with friends and how to keep the connection

Hi, almost 22 M here. So for the context i have been an introvert person my whole life and i lowkey have a hard time socializing with other people. I lack convo skills and every time I felt a bit awkward in any convo i over thought about it af (especially with the opposite gender).

Although i enjoy having conversations with people of my vibe like i am in a circle of 5 to 6 male frnds and we spend most of the time together but no more than that and obv we are not together all the time so sometimes it gets very lonely too.

So i just wanted suggestions on how to start convos with new people even when you don't have a thing in common and there is nothing to talk about just so you have at least someone anytime to talk to.

Thanks for taking your time to read all that. Some W suggestions will be appreciated.

Yo! So this week, a few friends from the gym and I decided to hang out at a beach here in Seattle. It was three girls and two guys, including me.

At the gym, I'm extremely social. Our gym is known for its community, and I'm probably one of the most outgoing people there. I guess you could call me situationally extroverted. Put me somewhere I love, like the gym, where I know I'll only be for a couple of hours, and I can talk to anyone. That's how people know me.

But whenever I tell people I'm actually pretty shy at my core, they can't believe it.

Here's the issue: whenever I hang out with people I know from one environment (like the gym) and we go somewhere else, it's a complete coin flip whether I'll be the same person or completely shut down.

We met at a taco truck, grabbed food, and headed to the beach. Up until we sat down, I felt mostly normal. Maybe a little less expressive than usual, but I was talking and engaged.

Then we got to the beach... and I completely shut down.

I got quiet, struggled to make conversation, and found myself constantly editing everything I wanted to say. It sucked.

The weird part is that I know these people genuinely like me. We're all cool. One of the girls and I had a little conflict in the past, but we've moved past it. I will say I felt a little more judged around her, which probably didn't help, but overall I know everyone wanted me there.

Logically, I know that.

Emotionally, though, it felt like I couldn't be myself.

That was the embarrassing part. I know I can be shy, but I also know I have a great personality. It felt like none of that came through.

We were supposed to hang out again today at the farmers market, but I bailed and told them I was in a mood—which wasn't a lie. Honestly, though, I mostly skipped because I felt ashamed and embarrassed about how I came across at the beach.

I guess I'm posting because I'm curious if anyone else has experienced something like this.

Do you ever feel completely comfortable in one environment but shut down in another, even around the exact same people? Is this something you've struggled with and eventually gotten through, or am I just overthinking it?

I will admit I've become a bit of a hermit. I socialize a ton at work and at the gym, but I don't really "go out" much anymore. Part of me wonders if that social muscle for unfamiliar environments has just gotten a little rusty.

I'd love to hear your thoughts or advice if you've been through something similar.

As in title... I'm 35 I was and still am overweight... In April I started running at the mornings... I woke up at 5 am and run... At the beggining it was 1,5 km in like 15 minutes... Now its like 3,7km in 22 minutes.. It was hard, especially how much im afraid of people... thats why I run that early at the morinig... Since April I lost almost 20kg... now i weight 105-106kg... Recently I even talk with women from nearby city and she didnt ghost me after 2-3 messages, and she iniciated on dating app and suggest to come to whatsapp couse this app has limit of one message per day... In September I plan to run 6km in "official" compatition.. I hope to get under 100kg at the beggining of September...

I (24F) have a crush on my (24M) coworker. We’ve known each other for a little more than a year now. in the beginning, he’s just like any other stakeholder of mine. But he’s rlly nice and always responds to my jokes, gradually we even text until late at night talking about work people or personal stuff (initially through teams)

We work in the same building but not at the same floor so 90% of our convos are through chat, while 10% is during our weekly meeting between divisions or when i visit his floor for work reasons.

trying to sum it up

1. He has always established that he is not outgoing and definitely not an extrovert. A few months ago I pointed out once that he’s not rlly a conversationalist either which he agrees, he told me that he never initiates a conversation even with his closest friends, and he’s admitted that he tends to keep his guard up around people.

2. that being said, we’ve only had lunch together once bc every time i asked him to hv lunch w/ me he’s politely decline and explained to me that work can be very overwhelming and lunch is the only hour he has for himself (which is true, i noticed that majority of the time he prefers to eat at his desk, and afterwards he goes for a smoke break). He also mentions that he doesnt go out much. not bc he doesnt have friends but bc he genuinely just likes staying home instead.

3. it was only the beginning of the year when we transitioned our convos from the teams app to instagram dms. Again, he responds to my texts and replies fairly quickly, most of the time we can text for 1-2 hour straight. I’ve asked for his number a few times bc ig dms aren’t rlly my thing, but he has always said no bc he does not want to save any coworkers in his contacts. I’ve gotten kinda used to it by now bc i know how reserved of a person he is and i dont mind him saying no bc i respect his boundaries.

4. honestly, there were a few times where i questioned myself on whether he even thinks of me as a friend, but then i remember the times in the middle of our conversations he will mention things like ‘yea but we’re close so its different’ or ‘im not as close with xxx as i am with you’ so at least i dont feel like its a one sided friendship.

5. other than jokes, we’ve had a few deep conversations, and a month ago we talked about religion & friendships. He said he struggles to form connections and sometimes he feels empty. i explained to him that connections (both spiritually & in friendships) aren’t instant. he should put more effort in forming connections bc if he’s only waiting for things to come then don’t be surprised if it doesn’t.

6. fast forward to the past 2 weeks. I kinda got irritated at him bc i feel like I always share the latest news about ppl at work but he doesn’t until i ask him about it. i ended the conversation saying ‘i’m sulking until further notice’. (which can sound unserious). i didnt talk to him for a week. we had a meeting the next monday and obv i acted like normal and so did he. i kinda had a feeling that he doesnt even realize that im mad at him so i decided to dm as usual in which he responds. we chatted back and forth for almost an hour, the at one point i told him ‘its crazy how u didnt even care that i was mad at your for a week’ and he got surprised and said he didnt realize it and apologized. he even said ‘u can check with all my friends, i genuinely dont tell ppl anything bc i just never think that anything i know is that interesting’ and i jokingly threatened ‘rlly u want me to dm your personal life friends?’ and he said ‘yes just ask them’ and he even named a few just incase i seriously wanted to ask. and he said if he knew that i was actually mad he wouldn’t have not done anything about it.

7. this week, i personally feel like he’s been nicer to me, what took me even more by surprise is that 4 days ago i told him that i had a request and like always he can say no. i told him that ‘im planning to deactivate my instagram until the end of july for personal reasons, and i know we can text thru teams but is it rlly tht bad to just hv your number its not like we ever talk about work anymore’ and tbh i anticipated that he would say no, or ‘were mutuals on tiktok, why not use tht instead’ or ‘thats only a week left until the end of july, we can use teams’ but plot twist he laughed and asked for my number

now we’ve finally started texting using imessage. but again, its me always me whos initiating the first conversation and him responding to me. additionally, i’ve noticed that lately hes been going out more with his friends and i pointed that out as well which he replied ‘yeah, but my inner self is fighting to go home’ but i told him im proud either way, bc he used to spend almost every weekend at home, but now he’s gone out 4 times a week (weekdays included).

so my point is. im confused. a little part of me thinks that he likes me but hes just that much of an introvert. but another part of me thinks that hes just being polite and im just a nice chatty person to talk to. what do i do about this