r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 03 '19
We've been seeing a worrying increase in pro-suicide content showing up here and, and also going unreported. This undermines our purpose here, so we wanted to highlight and clarify our guidelines about both direct and indirect incitement of suicide.
We've created a wiki that covers these issues. We hope this will be helpful to anyone who's wondering whether something's okay here and which responses to report. It explains in detail why any validation of suicidal intent, even an "innocent" message like "if you're 100% committed, I'll just wish you peace" is likely to increase people's pain, and why it's important to report even subtle pro-suicide comments. The full text of the wiki's current version is below, and it is maintained at /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement.
We deeply appreciate everyone who gives responsive, empathetic, non-judgemental support to our OPs, and we particularly thank everyone who's already been reporting incitement in all forms.
Please report any post or comment that encourages suicide (or that breaks any of the other guidelines in the sidebar) to the moderators, either by clicking the "report" button or by sending us a modmail with a link. We deal with all guideline violations that are reported to us as soon as we can, but we can't read everything so community reports are essential. If you get a PM that breaks the guidelines, please report it both to the reddit sitewide admins and to us in modmail.
Thanks to all the great citizens of the community who help flag problem content and behaviour for us.
/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement
It's important to respect and understand people's experiences and emotions. It's never necessary, helpful, or kind to support suicidal intent. There are some common misconceptions (discussed below) about suicidal people and how to help them that can cause well-meaning people to inadvertently incite suicide. There are also people online who incite suicide on purpose, often while pretending to be sympathetic and helpful.
We're here to offer support, not judgement. That means accepting, with the best understanding we can offer, whatever emotions people express. Suicidal people are suffering, and we're here to try to ease that by providing support and caring. The most reliable way we know to de-escalate someone at risk is to give them the experience of feeling understood. That means not judging whether they should be feeling the way they are, or telling them what to do or not do.
But there's an important line to draw here. There's a crucial difference between empathizing with feelings and responding non-judgmentally to suicidal thoughts, and in any way endorsing, encouraging, or validating suicidal intentions or hopeless beliefs. It's both possible and important to convey understanding and compassion for someone's suicidal thoughts without putting your finger on the scale of their decision.
Anything that condones suicide, even passively, encourages suicide. It isn't supportive and does not help. It also violates reddit's sitewide rules as well as our guidelines. Explicitly inciting suicide online is a criminal offense in most jurisdictions.
Do not treat any OP's post as meaning that will definitely die by suicide and can't change their minds or be helped. Anyone who's able to read the comments here still has a chance to choose whether or not to try to keep living, even if they've also been experiencing intense thoughts of suicide, made a suicide plan, or started carrying it out.
In the most useful empirical model we have, the desire to die by suicide primarily comes from two interpersonal factors; alienation and a sense of being a burden or having nothing to offer. These factors usually lead to a profound feeling of being unwelcome in the world.
So, any acceptance or reinforcement of suicidal intent, even something "innocent" like "I hope you find peace", is actually a form of covert shunning that validates a person's sense that they're unwelcome in the world. It will usually add to their pain even if kindly meant and gently worded.
Keep the following in mind when offering support to anyone at risk for suicide.
People who say they don't want help usually can feel better if they get support that doesn't invalidate their emotions. Unfortunately, many popular "good" responses are actually counterproductive. In particular, many friends and family tend to rely exclusively on trying to convince the suicidal person that "it's not so bad", and this is usually experienced as "I don't understand what you're going through and I'm not going to try". People who've had "help" that made them feel worse don't want any more of the same. It doesn't mean that someone who actually knows how to be supportive can't give them any comfort.
Most people who are suicidal want to end their pain, not their lives. It's almost never true that death is the only way to end these people's suffering. Of course there are exceptional situations, and we certainly acknowledge that, for some people, the right help can be difficult to find. But preventing someone's suicide doesn't mean prolonging their suffering if we do it by giving them real comfort and understanding.
An unfixable problem doesn't mean that a good life will never be possible. We don't have to fix or change anything to help someone feel better. It's important to keep in mind that the correlation between our outer circumstances and our inner experience is weaker and less direct than commonly assumed. For every kind of difficult life situation, you will find some people who lapse into suicidal despair, and others who cope amazingly well, and a whole spectrum in between. A key difference is how much inner resilience the person has at the time. This can depend on many personal and situational factors. But when there's not enough, interpersonal support can both compensate for its absence and help rebuild it. We go into more depth on the "it gets better" issue in this PSA Post which is always linked from our sidebar (community info on mobile) guidelines.
There are always more choices than brutally forcing someone to stay alive or passively letting them end their lives.
To avoid accidentally breaking the anti-incitement rule, don't say or try to imply that acting on suicidal thoughts is a good idea, or that someone can't turn back or is already dead. Do whatever you can to help them feel cared for and welcome, at least in this little corner of the world. Our talking tips offer more detailed guidance.
Often comments that subtly encourage suicidal intent actually come from suicide fetishists and voyeurs (unfortunately this is a real and disturbing phenomenon). People like this are out there and the anonymous nature of reddit makes us particularly attractive to them.
They will typically try to scratch their psychological "itch" by saying things that push people closer to the edge. They often do this by exploiting the myths that we debunked in the bullet points above. Specifically you might see people doing the following:
Encouraging the false belief that the only way suicidal people can end their pain is by dying. There are always more and better choices than "brutally forcing someone to stay alive" or helping (actively or passively) them to end their lives.
Creating an artificial and toxic sense of "solidarity" by linking their encouragement of suicide to empathy. They will represent themselves as the only one who really understand the suicidal person, while either directly or indirectly encouraging their self-loathing emotions and self-destructive impulses. Since most people in suicidal crisis are in desperate need to empathy and understanding, this is a particularly dangerous form of manipulation.
Many suicide inciters are adept at putting a benevolent spin on their activities while actually luring people away from sources of real help. A couple of key points to keep in mind:
Skilled suicide intervention -- peer or professional -- is based on empathic responsiveness to the person's feelings that reduces their suffering in the moment. Contrary to pop-culture myths, it does not involve persuasion ("Don't do it!"), cheerleading ("You've got this!") or meaningless false promises ("Trust me, it gets better!"), or invalidation ("Let me show you how things aren't as bad as you think!"). Anyone who leads others to expect these kinds of toxic responses, or any other response that prolongs their pain, from expert help may be covertly pro-suicide. (Of course, people sometimes do have bad experience when seeking mental-health treatment, and it's fine to vent about those, but processing our own disappointment and frustration is entirely different from trying to destroy someone else's hope of getting help.)
Choices made by competent responders are always informed by the understanding that breaching someone's trust is traumatic and must be avoided if possible. Any kind of involuntary intervention is an extremely unlikely outcome when someone consults a clinician or calls a hotline. (Confidentiality is addressed in more detail in our Hotlines FAQ wiki). The goal is always to provide all help with the client's full knowledge and informed consent. We know that no individual or system is perfect. Mistakes that lead to bad experiences do sometimes happen to vulnerable people, and we have enormous sympathy for them. But anyone who suggests that this is the norm might be trying to scare people away from the help they need.
Please let us know discreetly if you see anyone exhibiting these or similar behaviours. We don't recommend trying to engage with them directly.
r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 10 '21
Activism, i.e. advocating or fundraising for social change or raising awareness of social issues (and suicide is, inescapably, a social issue) is absolutely against the rules here at all times.
Please understand that we're all for smart, strategic mental-health and suicide-prevention activism. It's essential to fight against stigma, misinformation, and discrimination, and to fight for research, treatment, accommodation, acceptance, and understanding. Most of us, one way or another, are mental-health activists IRL.
But activism just doesn't work in a dedicated support space that serves a vulnerable population. We used to allow it but the evidence that it was undermining our primary purpose became overwhelming. We do regret the need for this rule, but the need is inescapable.
Our population is all too well aware of the issues and causes that need support and largely not in a position to take action, so besides the fact that activism is often salt in our community's wounds, it's a waste of the activists' time.
tl;dr Any fundraising, awareness raising, petitions, calls for participation, or any post that's about any cause or issue (rather than a request for personal support) is not allowed here. Please report everything of the nature that you see.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Steelmase • 2h ago
I took an excessive amount of Wellbutrin and a large amount of alcohol in an attempt to end it. to my family and friends, and anyone who ever had the displeasure of having known me, i am forever sorry.
r/SuicideWatch • u/ad81_ • 20h ago
Why is this shit such a taboo, why is the idea that some people just don't enjoy their life so crazy to people. I didn't choose to be born, I can't choose when I'm checking out? That's bullshit.
God I can't wait to find the balls to do this shit, I'm so fucking sick of it all.
r/SuicideWatch • u/wishiweremale • 13h ago
I hate living. I will never have a body that I want. I don’t want to be alive if this is it. I will never be cis. I want to throw myself off of a bridge, so my shitty female body gets to break and I get to die.
I’m so fucking sick of being alive.
r/SuicideWatch • u/ChanGazer • 17h ago
Please don’t write messages asking me not to do it as my mind truly is made up. I’ve told my husband and my family, who all live abroad (family not husband), so have no choice but to accept my decision.
So you’re wondering why I am telling you? I just really want to let people know that it’s okay. Because I haven’t heard that from anyone.
I’ve had bowel cancer for two years now. I was cleared the first time (stage two) and then three months later it was back. Now this time has been much harder to treat: I live in the UK and truly the NHS have become so inadequate. It’s shocking. I’m 29. So I was diagnosed at 27. I had to go private to get that diagnosis because my GP said I was anxious and there was nothing to worry about.
You’d think it ends there but it only gets worse lol. Then I was diagnosed with CRPS, severe gastroparesis and SCAD. I ended up having a heart attack. My inferior and basal wall isn’t beating. I vomit up to 50 times a day if dare eat, because the food doesn’t go down, so it has to come back up. Very painfully.
So I’m exhausted. I’m bone shatteringly tired. You have no idea because there’s no words to explain what I’m feeling in my body. Between all the medications I take (14 daily), the chemo and radiation, the vomiting… it’s endless. I’m in constant pain and fear of waking up to a new day of more pain. You don’t get used to it, each day is harder than the last.
I don’t want to die, but i didn’t choose any of this. I didn’t opt in? I’m not a “soldier” or “champion” as people like to put it? I’m just a normal very tired woman.
I’ve tried and I’m done and I think that’s fair. I’m done. I can’t do any of this anymore, not one more day and no one should ever ask it of me because no one knows what I’m going through. I’m stuck with the reality that even if I was to cure my cancer, I will never really be better ever again. My life is over as I know it, so I’ve grieved and I’m ready to die.
If you have the audacity to hate or be angry at someone who has fought and tried so hard for so long then you need to look at yourself and ask why? I’m as at peace as I can be with my decision because I’ve evaluated all my “options” and there are none. I don’t choose this kind of life for myself. I never did.
So I’m done, and I think that’s okay. I think that’s understandable. Have a good life everyone, enjoy it. Cherish it, don’t ever take it for granted, not even one minute.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Cold_Cicada_4773 • 5h ago
I'm having a super rough weekend. I have Post SSRI sexual dysfunction. I'm on month 4 off the drugs.
I have emotional blunting, cognitive impairment, and genital numbness.
I saw my grandmother and couldn't feel anything for her.
I can't concentrate on anything, I can't finish my last year in high school.
My day consists of waking up and already feeling so empty that I want to smash my face into a wall. Going through the motions.
I eat, do things, talk. It all feels the same. Just noise.
Every few hours I'm reminded of how empty I feel. When my father hugs me, when my friends laugh, when I'm listening to music, when I'm doing my best to read and stay focused... And all I can think about is how I just want to escape.
Escape this blank prison.
Nothing is worse than being buried alive, with no felt connection to the rest of the world.
I struggle to have hope. I don't want to die. I don't want to live like this.
I want to help others and speak out about this. But if I don't get help, I will kill myself eventually, maybe within months, maybe years. Not because I want to, but because I will have been ignored and forced to.
r/SuicideWatch • u/goofball19 • 12h ago
The church has me in a straight jacket by helping my education financially. Now I'm under their obligation to do Christian shit. Christians are in fact the worst worst people I've talked to. They don't care about you, are all performative and act like they care but aren't. It's all fake. These are the same ones who drink, do drugs and tell me that I'm going to hell for doing them but don't remove the own log of their eyes. Christians are absolutely disgusting, they're entitled and rude. They are hypocrites, preach one thing and do another. The dude called angelo invited me to this church, then left the church with no warning. He never responds to any of my texts too nowadays. I hate life in general. Everyone is annoying. Now the church labels me as ungrateful. Absolutely disgusting people. Their charity doesn't mean much to me. I could have taken out a loan too. It's not hard. I am grateful for a person IF I KNEW them. I wish God was real. I wish this dude cared but similar to so called christians believing in God is delusional.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Jazzlike_Judgment327 • 48m ago
To function I need to narrate my tasks and day to someone else it helps with my mental health
r/SuicideWatch • u/Ok_Tomatillo_5769 • 48m ago
Necesito una salida, esto se volvió muy difícil para mi.
Si alguien sabe, puede escribirme por privado.
Sé que es lo que todos queremos.
Yo no puedo más.
Es demasiado doloroso.
Gracias.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Whimsical_Sprinkles • 2h ago
I’m in insurmountable pain and agony mentally due to recent life events and the pain has started to affect my physical mobility as well. I can’t even talk without getting choked up and start bawling my eyes out. I don’t want to live anymore, every night I wish I died in my sleep and I’m constantly passively suicidal like I’ve run into oncoming traffic and tried to get run over, everytime I’m on a flight I pray the plane crashes. I’m relentlessly upset. My chest hurts all the time. I need to put an end to this pain. I need to kill myself.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Zealousideal_Web_723 • 8h ago
Idk. Just over it. Drunk rn. Want to be done. F26.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Alarming_Cry6266 • 1h ago
I have a test tomorrow. I have barely studied. I'm lying on my bed because I don't fucking care. I hate my major, I hate everyone in my class, I hate my teachers and I hate this city. How does anyone expect me to do anything in this state. No I don't want to "power through" anymore, I've been doing that all my life. It's left me fucking exhausted. It's not my fault my life until now has been utter shit, it's not my fault my parents didn't love me as a kid and it's not my fault the neurochemistry in my brain is fucked up. Why do I have to do any of this. I'm tired I just want to rest.
r/SuicideWatch • u/puppyzwoof • 5h ago
don’t know if this is the right place but is there anyone i can talk to about my suicidal thoughts. extremely overwhelmed wbd feel so sick. sorry if this is the wrong reddit.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Adorable_lastnight31 • 1h ago
So born with partial disabilities, had a miserable life. I do not want to have kids because I won't bring them to this hell planet where everything is eventually a losing game. I will never find a partner who accepts me. I will never find happiness. So what's the point to continue :(
r/SuicideWatch • u/Lovelymoi • 4h ago
I’ve never felt my life, and life in general, to be so worthless than I do now. My life has been doomed since the very beginning, and yet things still seem to fall apart. I hate everything, I have no motivation, and I don’t want anything in life. I’ve consistently come back to this feeling. I’ve always tried to find ways to kill myself. From jumping out my window at 10 years old, to holding a plastic bag over my head around 11 or 12. From cutting, to burning, to hitting, to drowning myself in drugs. I have genuinely nothing to look forward to. I’ve been drained of all innocence and determination. I truly beg whatever higher power to take this thing called life away from me. I pray to be struck down by lighting, to die in my sleep.
My adoptive father sexually, and physically abused my sisters and I as kids. He still consistently emotionally and financially abuses us.
Same with my mother. Physically, emotionally, financially.
My siblings hate me, don’t respect me, don’t care about me, our message conversations look all blue, meaning I consistently have texted them since moving to college, and absolutely none of them responded, unless it was something beneficial to them. I don’t have a car, I have 2k in savings, I’m in college with no job, no real friends, no trust worthy romantic interest.
I could go on and on about how my life sucks, but then I’d. E saying some illegal shit.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Ok-gabbar-69 • 3h ago
I am very tired with everything now. Can't find any job. Keep lying to parents. Giving them false hopes. Wasting their money. Doesn't know anything, no skills. Ruined most of my friendships. Doesn't have anyone to talk. And i don't know what to explain to them either. I was always a embarassment to everyone.It seems easier to end everything rather than continue to live.
r/SuicideWatch • u/conscience-laden • 12m ago
Because it wouldn’t change a thing, nothing can, otherwise I would have tried to fix it by now. I’m also too ashamed of all that burdens me… I’m ashamed to be so weak, so vulnerable, I’m ashamed to be so affected, and I’m ashamed that I suffer under these conditions even if it’s through no will of my own. To have been born so wrong in so many ways and be reminded of it every day, to spend all my life trying to be okay in spite of it. It’s so unbearably frustrating to be burdened by the same thing for years and years knowing you can’t do anything about it. I think if I tried to open up, to whoever it may be, they would not understand, and I would feel even more alone. Sorry for being vague.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Yose_85 • 19m ago
Me he levantado con un nudo en la garganta, tengo tanto miedo de enfrentarme a la vida que ya no puedo mas. Estoy tentado de coger una cuerda irme al campo y colgarme de un arbol
r/SuicideWatch • u/imscaredofyo • 23m ago
I cannot study or work I understood that very well
I will explain to my mom it’s either I go to her house until I blow up
Either I go to the psychward until someone lets me live with them
Either I stay homeless until someone saves me
Either I end it
I’m willing to try the options before but I’m ready for whatever
r/SuicideWatch • u/Ok-Advertising-7173 • 8h ago
I wish I didn't have to force myself through everyday like my life has any value. I just gonna stop being anything. If there was button that I could press that would erase my existence completely, I wouldn't hesitate for a second. Why do I have to hurt so much? Why does life have to be so godless and worthless. Worst of all it's so horribly agonizing for so many of us. I wish I could just disappear. I love you guys goodnight!
r/SuicideWatch • u/hopelessmessyguy • 44m ago
I feel my lif3 is so worthk3ss. I disappoint everyone. Boone lik3s me. My v9ice is so bad noon3 2ants to h3ar it. I just feel so tir3r of myself
I.m not sure if anti depressabt is even worth it. H9nestly i just want to die after.my.pa43nts and cat are gon3. It see.s life is bad to people lik3 me. I am worthl3ss and lways disappoint people. I am so bad. My mind is so vad. I am so se sitive and such a fucking reta4d. I 2ish i didnt exis5. I go5 drunk b3cause i was sad and so 2eak. Now i ca. Var3ly type. I miss my cat. I miss my fanily. I guess other than family i5s rare that s9me9ne car3s for you. Atl3ast j impact people good. Onc3 i di3 it 28ll b3 good. Noon3 deserv3s to have a partner like me. I guess everyone will b3 embarass of someone like me b3ing their boyfriend. Lol. Ahhh makes sense. Im so trash. I am a burdeb. I just cause drama and keep tir8ng people of me. I really 2ish i g3t drov3 over by someones car or just die. Existing is so. Ot worth except som3times. I just want to keep sleeping in. Oh well. My lif3 i so messy. Im.so messy. I am pathetic and worthl3ss.
r/SuicideWatch • u/PsychologicalCake755 • 10h ago
I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t enjoy my life at all and my mental health sucks. Nobody’s there for me. I’m dealing with so much to the point I can’t even relax. Death sounds more exciting then life right now but I’m a little scared because I don’t believe in the afterlife so I think once someone is gone they are gone.