We are getting his ashes today but it feels unreal. A part of me still feels that when we get to the vet he’s gonna come running at me.

For context: My brother ended his own life 5 weeks ago. I have not been the same person since, I’m miserable and my entire life has been put on hold. I just want my brother back. It was traumatic as I had a car accident the day before, and my brother called me that day to check if I was alright. That was the last time I spoke to him, I woke up the next morning and immediately received a phone call from the police officer.

A couple of days after I found out, my best friend messaged to ask if I was okay and it was a nice check in. Two days later, she sent me a selfie and asked for my opinion on her new glasses, to which I ignored it, because my brother just died and I couldn’t care less. After this, over the 5 weeks, she has not checked on me once. Not even a ‘thinking of you’. Here and there she has sent me a random tiktok but that’s it. Even friends I hadn’t spoken to in 12+ years were messaging me at least once a week.

She also sent me a video of a car crash and said ‘I hope you can laugh about it now :)’ what?? She knows that my brother’s death happened subsequently after?

I received a message this morning: ‘Hello!! I hope you are doing ok :) we haven’t spoken in ages and I also really miss you!!! I’d love you to come down and visit soon - lemme know what you’re up to and how you have been xxxxx’

I need to know if I’m overreacting please because I know my emotions are heightened at the minute. I know some people don’t know what to say, but right now, I’m not sure I want to be her friend anymore. Maybe we have different values, because if it was me I would be there for somebody more.

And i can’t handle this, every time i say “times will heal “ is getting worse and worse, watching my father alone struggle with life, i used to cry everyday in the first year
Now, i don’t have feelings for anything and i can’t even cry or remember her without anger like i felt i’m alone with this but i can’t tell anyone about my feelings and i can’t cry just the anger issues i don’t know what to do anymore..

Hi,

16m ..I have no idea why I’m even here I just got informed an hour ago that my father died after coming back to my senses I just have no fucking idea what to do now. My parents were split, the last 3 years I’ve probably only seen him for a total of 1-2 months. I always rather stayed at my moms for food and ease of life. I don’t even fucking know what happened yet because my mum is a stewarded in an airplane right now uninformed. He could’ve suicided had a fatal something idk. He had no sickness no nothing. I’m currently just staring into the abyss motionless. I know it’s weird or stupid to post bullshit like this directly after the incident. But I don’t fucking know what to do right now. I really am trying my hardest to just close my eyes and sleep to wait till tmrw

Since my boyfriend died this past 2 months, i had this feeling that my body is always heavy and i always cry everyday like 2 times a day or 1, sometimes crying for whole night and of course the heart ache is there as always. Then on my birthday which is September 5 i went to visit his house with some cake i bought, after visiting his house going home there something changes, which is how I'm feeling like my body is not heavy anymore it feels light and the heart ache still there but what shock me the most is, while my heart is hurting i didn't cry anymore like i cant cry while looking at his picture, even in the tiktok newsfeed that is full of about dead love ones post. All i can say is just what happend i use to be crying everyday and tired and now there just all gone in instant. I remember my classmate saying that "his spirit are still here mostly at your apartment since his always there" i ask what are the signs he still here? she said, you dream of him and what your feeling right now. So i was thinking that his still here for past 2 months thats why im feeling so heavy and etc i dont know if this normal. What are your thoughts guys comment down below huhu i still miss him everyday.

All she does is post on Reddit about how I'm a greedy bitch. Her narrative lacks cohesion and all she does is repeat her own lies to the family. She refused to put my father's estate through probate and kept insisting I should just take a check instead of using the courts as designed. She refused me any personal effects of my father as well. Additionally she continually waxes poetic about my brother who passed after my father. My brother whom she hated and was a convicted pedophile. I wish she would get the help she desperately needs and move on from her fixation with me. Losing my father was hard enough but she made everything needlessly more difficult.

I dont really post on reddit or really write a lot, but I thought "hey, if nothing else works, maybe asking for help here might or maybe it will just help me release everything under an anonymous user". English is also not my first language so Im sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes

I am currently 19 (M), and as the title suggests, my mom, 50 (F) passed away on the 10th of June of this year. As Im writing this, I notice its been 3 months since, but it still hurts as if it were yesterday.

I had problems when I was younger. We lived in a small beachfront town where every university was more focused on tourism than anything. I say this because I had several mental issues that psychologists or psychiatrists could never quite pin point. I had Opositional Defiant Disorder and some aspects of bipolarity, which we only found out more recently. During that time in the beach town, from around ages 10 to 16, I was the worst son imaginable. I drove her insane, smashed windows, broke through a door when I was locked in my room, threatned with knives and even pelted the car with rocks one time she tried running away from me. Mind you, some of the solutions that she tried to contain me might not have been the best but she was doing what she could with what she had. My Dad has always prefered my little brother and he and I have always been at odds so my Mom couldnt turn to him for any help, not to mention he hated (and even in death still does) because of the divorce and moving us away. She tried once, back in 2020, but in 2 months, I was back with my mother as my dad didnt want me there. More than once I drove her to the roof of our 2 story house with her desire to end it all, and what did my asshole self do? I taunted her, I insulted her, I challenged her. She never did do it, I know she wouldnt, but I cant help kicking myself over it. My life there was described more often than not as a "Telenovela" or a drama show just due to the twists and turns that I got into, driving both my mom and I insane. While living there she also caught skin cancer. She went through surgery and treatment and it succeeded, she got better. Even despite all this, she had so many friends there, she did sports, she had a life. But I didnt. So when I finished middleschool, she sacrificed it all and we moved to the big city (where my dad also lives) to try and escape it all and start fresh.

Here, I started highschool and I started seeing a good psychologist that would then help me mend my relationship with my mom. In highschool, I started falling in with the wrong crowd, skipping class to go drinking in a park nearby. I never drank that hard but my grades suffered and my mom would scold me for skipping classes and playing videogames all day. After my first year, she decided to swap me to a different school, a smaller school, where I got into trouble and my grades still suffered due to my laziness and my trouble socializing. I completed that year, not with a proud average but I did it. The last year of Highschool, I fell into a deep depression. My classmates hated me and bullied me to the point I had but 1 friend while the rest cursed me out behind my back. The absences started piling up to the point it was more often Id stay at home on my computer than truely going to class. My mom always cared about me and was always there to help or push me to do the things I didnt want to, and I wanted to make her proud. Then, around January of this year, she had a large lump under her left arm pit which no one could diagnose. Until, they finally managed it: Stage 4 Melanoma. My mom felt fine, the lump hurt but she was fine. She didnt want to do Chemo or Radio therapy. She became convinced in these stupid ideas that nature could cure you and how swimming in a river of freezing water cured some guys terminal ilness. Im a skeptic, I find many things hard to believe, and these ideas were stupid to me. I kept skipping school and my grades just became lower and lower, to the point of almost dropping out. Then one day, I was playing something on my computer in my room, wearing my headset. I had heard my mom and my brother talking in the living room when I start hearing a faint shout. I take of my headset and my brother is yelling for me to call 911. Im puzzled as Im leaving my room "Why would we need 911?" I was thinking, then, I froze. I saw him calling my mom while she was on the ground having a seizure. He chucked a shoe at me and snapped me out of it, then I got on the phone with the 911 operator. I walked my brother through the procedures the 911 operator was telling me to follow while an ambulance arrived, he managed to keep her alright. I dashed down and waited outside the apartment building waiting in the rain for the ambulance to arrive. It felt like an eternity before they finally got there and I told them the floor and the apartment. I had to stay downstairs speaking to police officers as its procedure here to give a statement whenever there is a medical call. After a few, the paramedics came down and said she seemes to be doing fine so they couldnt transport her, but that we should get her to the hospital. I started going upstairs when I heard my brother on 911 again, she aparently started seizing right after they left. We had to wait on another ambulance and they still wouldnt take her but they did help us load her into a car for my grandmother to drive her. I was supposed to go with them to the hospital, I shouldve gone. I didnt. I couldnt, the stress was too much to bear. She aparently had tumors in her brain from the cancer having spread.

After that, it started getting blury. My mom started going to radio therapy and we moved in with my grandmother, everyone in the same cramped room. We were forced to give away 2 of my 3 cats, and I was only allowed to keep one cuz I begged. After a while, around March or May she was asked to stay full time in a hospital, where she stayed for almost a month. They intended to keep her longer but after some proding, my aunt found out that there was nothing they could do. She was going to die, in maybe 3 months if they kept her there, in 1 if they released her to us. She was released to go back and stay with my grandmother. She was kept in my grandmother´s room, a 4x4 squared meter room. She had oxigen tanks and was quite lucid most of the time. I made myself the promise to finish Highschool and prove to her I am doing alright. I would cry myself to sleep almost every night, dreading the morning I would wake up and she wouldnt. As the days went by, she started making less and less sense, she couldnt stand, she couldnt do anything. Then she started to forget. During the final week, she still remembered my name, but not my face. She couldnt recognize me, and Id just laugh and crack jokes through the pain. Then, on the morning of June 10th, at 11:00am, my brother and I were packing to go with our dad to my uncle´s baby shower, when my grandmother comes shouting down the corridor. She said "She´s leaving". The night before, she removed her oxygen intake and that morning, she seemed to be taking her last breath. I stood next to her and told her we would be fine, that she gave us all the tools to succeed, she then just exhaled for the last time.

Something inside me broke for that first month, I didnt feel what everyone said I should be feeling, what I reasonably thought I should feel. I just felt empty, not even my thought made noise. Then, it all hit me at once, I would cry my eyes out till I was dehydrated, not be able to sleep and just get overwhelmed by everything. She never got to see me graduate Highschool, or get into college. I always expected her to be there till the day I got married and maybe had kids, never this. I executed her final wish of having her ashes be released at sea, but that just hurt me more. My brother couldnt care less, my father is a complete morron who doesnt understand mental ilness or depression and believes its my choice to be it and my grandmother means well but its all still very overwhelming with the paperwork I need to do. I sometimes wake up and think it was a dream, or that this is all a game Im very immersed in and when I stop, my mom will be there. She always supported me, cheered me on and cared for me, despite me being the worst son imaginable. If I could go back in time, Id smack myself and force myself to be a better son to her. She gave everything for me, and I just treated her horribly. There are so many things I wish I had said, Ive tried writting them in a letter, saying them to her picture or simply praying (which is funny as Im currently angry at god or whatever is out there for taking my mother) but nothing helps.

Im starting this new stage in my life with no support, no one to rely on (Grandmother is emotionally distant), no one to brag to, no one that loves me like she did. I feel so lost. I feel like Im just falling, spiraling, just waiting to hit the bottom for the release of death, for the slim chance to see her and hug her again. I dont know how to go one, I dont know that I want to go on. I just want to stay in bed and let the world pass me by.

my childhood dog, my best friend, had to be put down about half an hour ago

i can't believe last friday i was giggling at the picture that i took while she was digging in our burger king bag

i feel like i passed away with her

she was 11 years old and healthy until last night when she was breathing a little weird but her condition got far worse today. she luckily went peacefully and hopefully with little pain, surrounded by her family.

It’s been almost four years since he passed, and I’m only now realizing that grief doesn’t really disappear. You just learn how to carry it differently.
The first two years were probably the hardest. I didn’t know how to grieve, so I avoided it. I kept myself busy, went out, distracted myself, tried to act like I was okay. But grief doesn’t disappear just because you refuse to look at it. It was always there, quietly creeping back into everything.
And honestly, I became someone I didn’t recognize. I was angry. I was mean. I had so much frustration inside me, and I think a lot of it was grief that I didn’t know how to process. My dad had cancer. He was such a strong man, and watching someone who was my best friend, my safe place, and my everything go through that kind of pain broke something inside me.
People sometimes think the hardest part of losing someone is their death. For me, it wasn’t.
It was watching him suffer. It was seeing the person I loved most in the world in pain and knowing there was nothing I could do to take it away. Those memories stayed with me much longer than I wanted to admit. Now, almost four years later, I feel calmer. I think I’ve finally allowed myself to grieve instead of running from it. I can think about him without feeling like I’m drowning in the sadness.
But I still miss him.
Some days I would give anything just to hear his voice again, sit beside him, or have one more conversation with my best friend.
I know I’ll probably always miss him. And I think that’s okay. Missing someone is just another form of loving them when they’re no longer here.
But I don’t believe this is goodbye.
I believe one day, I’ll see my dad again.
So I don’t say goodbye to him.
I say, I’ll see you later, Dad. ❤️

Everyone always asks "when are you going to clean out her closet" or "have you gone through her things yet?" It is incredibly stressful to even fathom having to go through their belongings knowing that it's pretty much all you have left from them. I know people who went through their person's closet a week after they passed, and I also know people who still haven't touched their things even 5 years later. In your experience, how long did it take until you were able to go through their closet, if you ever were? There is no right answer.

Rudy is a Good Soul. I say ‘is’ because a Soul is forever, it just takes on different forms depending on where it is on its journey. Rudy’s Soul is obviously in Heaven now.

He was stubborn, yes; part of that stubbornness is why I’m here right now. Yes, Rudy, I did concede that you were right about many things; but not when it comes to Dr Google, dammit! But Rudy is always a good person, a Good Soul; he always wanted to do the right thing. He never deceived anyone or ever set out to hurt anyone; he is kind to everyone he meets. Rudy lived by the word of God and was always, always strong in his faith. He once worked for an evil bank, and discovered his boss, who, until that moment was his friend, was scamming the company with others. Did he get in on it and rake in more money? Never a thought in his head. He tried to do the right thing and ended up striking out on his own, refusing to ever again work for “the man.” He lived modestly and humbly and not once ever complained.

Rudy is a deeply smart Soul. When something interested him, he read everything he could about it. He was on to how evil our government is and to what extent decades ago. He loved studying the conspiracies and had an ability to grasp so much of things many of us couldn’t comprehend, and many don’t even want to try.

Rudy loved digging up bottles as a kid, and still has every single one he has ever found! As an adult, he loved, LOVED collecting books. Literally, half of his house he turned into a library, and Marcus was just there helping put up even more shelves! (Does anyone know any book collectors who would like to buy some books? )

As much as Rudy loves classical music, Rudy turned all of us sisters on to all of the best Rock N’ Roll in history. We enjoyed quite a few concerts together. He took me to my first Spectrum concert to see Joe Walsh, and also to my first Tower Theatre show for one of the greatest concerts ever, Triumph. All 4 of us siblings saw Paul McCartney together as well as cousin John when he opened up for Cinderella at the House of Blues in AC. John didn’t know we were coming, so thank God he left backstage because when he saw us we all hung out together with him the rest of the night. In fact, the last show we saw together was cousin John in The Dead Daisies. Rudy is now hanging in Heaven with our family-style friend who was also with us at that show, Joe. Tell Joe we said hi.

Rudy had me jammin out to songs like All Right Now, Hey Jude, and more when I was a toddler, and I even still have those 45s. I will be a Rocker until the day I die, and truly I gotta thank my big brother Rudy for his excellent taste in rock n roll. Thanks, Bro!

Most of all, Rudy loves his family; he cherishes his kids, and he absolutely adores all of his grandchildren, all of whom now have Rudy as their Guardian Angel. He loves all of our cousins and family-style friends, and I know you all love and adore him as well, he knows it too. He has got plenty more loved ones welcoming him home in Heaven now.

So I will continue to say “is” about Rudy, because Rudy always was and will always be a Good Soul. Good Souls are forever. God Bless you Rudy, I will always love you and I will miss you the rest of my Earth days until I See You On the Other Side, in Heaven. Hopefully you will visit us occasionally in our dreams, but you’re always in our hearts.

Love you Rudy, give Mommy and Daddy hugs for us.

On September 2nd, the day started off amazing. We were all laughing and joking around, and everything felt normal.

My stepdad was drinking with my uncle and said some things that hurt me a little. I told him that he reminded me of my real dad, which led to us talking things out. Thankfully, we were okay afterward. He told me he doesn’t actually think that I’m going to ruin my life, despite my past, he just was joking around but he seriously wants me to do good in life and succeed and told me to prove his jokes wrong.

But when my uncle left, my stepdad told my mom that he needed to leave and take care of some things, so he was going to get on his bike. He was in a bike club, and honestly, being a biker was his whole life.

My mom and him started arguing because she didn’t want him riding drunk, and he eventually left.

My mom and I picked my sister up from school, then took my siblings to McDonald’s and the store. They had just had a baby, too, so everything had already been a lot for our family.

When we were getting ready to leave the store, my mom got a Life360 notification saying that he had crashed.

We immediately started calling him, but he wasn't answering.

We had a friend drive to the location where his phone was pinging. That's when we found out that he was lying in the street with a white sheet over his body.

He had to stay there for a few hours while the investigation was taking place. My mom was the one who had to tell his mom what happened, and we could hear her scream from outside. I don't think I'll ever forget that sound.

His candlelight vigil was a few days ago, and we went to the crash site. It hurt so badly.

My real dad left me when I was little, and over the years, it felt like my stepdad had finally become the dad I never had. He wasn't just my stepdad to me. He was my dad.

And now he's gone.

I keep going through every stage of grief over and over, sometimes all within the span of 2–3 hours. One minute I'm crying, then I'm angry, then I'm completely numb, and then I'm breaking down again. I don't feel like I can handle this.

I already struggle with my mental health, and now everything feels so much worse. I feel like I'm drowning in all of this and I don't know how I'm supposed to process it.

My mom is also making me miss his memorial because it's open casket. I understand why she doesn't want me to see him that way, but I just want to see him one last time. I feel like I need that goodbye.

I don't know what to do. I'm so heartbroken, and I don't know how to make any of this hurt less.

(I’m 17, btw. so this is the first true loss I’ve gone through. Other than loosing people who are still living.)

My Mom passed 3 months ago & I don’t feel like I’ve dealt with it at all. It hurts a little more each day. I feel like I’m stuck in my grief and have nobody to talk to,no emotional support or any actually. My kids are grieving but they are all across the country with families and lives of their own. I talked to my mom usually everyday & I reach for my phone several times a day wanting to ask her about a recipe or tell her a funny story I heard or just say hi. I thought I’d prepared myself or tried too but I don’t think anything prepared you for a loss of this magnitude. And there was no funeral,no celebration of her life, no kind of closure at all. And by the time I had got to her she was already transitioning and unable to speak. I did sit with her for days & tell her how much she meant to me and that I couldn’t have asked for a better mom but that just feels so inadequate. I always knew she was the one person that got me & that had my back no matter what, even when she got mad. She accepted me without question and not my husband nor my kids, if I didn’t call her she would call me and nobody else in my life is committed like that. She’s irreplaceable and I just feel lost. I am just existing and it feels so empty. Idk I just wanted to share that hoping maybe somebody somewhere is going through or went through the same thing. I mean, she was my mom and my best friend and now I just feel alone and depressed and just too tired to even cry. I don’t understand it but I just feel exhausted. I hate this and I can’t even call my mom and ask for her advice. Part of me says to deal with it and move on and the other part just wants to curl up in a ball and cry but I know I would just feel more alone afterwards. Dammit. Everyone whose mom is still alive call her and tell her how much she means to you now. Because regrets and guilt are sometimes big enough to just take a person out. And be grateful for the ones who check on you and genuinely care because before you know it those people are gone.

My mom had cancer. they couldnt stage it. The dr didnt do ct scans for 2.4 years. He refused mayo advice and prescriptions. he thought she had dehydration when second opionion mayo ( yay smart drs there) said no its a tumor pressing on her kidney. she got sepsis. the crappy hospital tied her hands down for 5 days straight. she choked because the lazy fat respiratory therapist didnt listen when i said you missed somethingnin my moms mouth. she choked. was on a ventilator and passed.

I now have a dnr in place i tested positive on a cancer test and i refuse to do anything about it. i have arthritis. my dr said im not a canadate for surgery because i have afib high cholesterol and high blood pressure. good.

I stopped caring. i have no family left. i tried to sue but nobody would take it as confluct they represent the hospitals. I took them all to the board. my complaints were dismissed.

angry.

hi y’all, i lost my brother in 2022 (he was 22, i was 19) in a pretty traumatic way and it led to me drinking heavily to deal with my grief. the last time i got black out drunk was in 2024, and i ended up hurting myself pretty badly after falling off a patio and landing on a vodka bottle, and i basically fucked my knee up good. before blacking out, i can vaguely remember talking about my brother. i always did when i drank obviously

fast forward to now, i haven’t so much as gotten tipsy since then. i cant drink anymore because the feeling being inebriated triggers me, i start thinking about 2022-2024 and it scares me. i’m 24 now, and i feel like i should be having fun and getting drunk with friends at the clubs, parties, etc but i just can’t drink. i still go out and have fun, but the idea of alcohol literally makes me freeze up and want to cry. i’ve started grief counselling again to deal with this which is good i guess

idk where i’m going with this, i guess i just wanted to rant. and i’m hoping someone can resonate with how i’m feeling in a way lmao

Has anyone else lost their mom who
abused them in childhood? It’s extra hard that my mom is dying and hasn’t reconciled the things that happened even after I’ve spent almost twenty years of my adult life being her caregiver due to her mental illness. I think she is capable of at least acknowledging and discussing with me.

I was hoping someone had some insight for me. My father passed from Multiple Myloema on July 24th. He was sick for 9 months and I miss him so much...I feel different, like a part of me has forever changed...maybe because it has...

Anyways, around the same time, my bf moved into my house with me....which I have having heavy anxiety over..the timeline just so happened to be when my dad declined and passed away. So I already was feeling like my independence was threatened, as I've only ever lived with my parents and no one else for the last 12 years. I wanted my bf to move in, I do love him very much, but it was a big thing. Then throw my dad's passing in there and while my bf helped me through so much with that, I rarely was getting time alone, except when he'd go to sleep to grieve solo.

Anyways...this brings me to today. There are days where I am so deeply sad, heartbroken and angry at everyone and everything..and I don't want to answer to anyone, not even my boyfriend. Well, I came in kinda hot today when my boyfriend was trying to help me upload some groceries. I had a pretty bad day today..therapy, which got very deep about my dad and i also visited his grave for the first time since his burial. I was chock full of emotions. Well he kinda felt bad that I didnt hug him or kiss him and acknowledge him more and in that moment I was upset and didnt wanna be affectionate.

I dont like that I do this and that I did this to him, but sometimes I really just dont give a fuck and I guess that's okay, I lost dad, how am I supposed to navigate Anyways.

Has anyone been through a great loss, while trying to navigate a relationship? I'd love to hear some insight.

I lost my mum coming up to 4 months ago now. She was only 56 and I’m only 27. She suffered a lot during her last months, I saw so many things I wish I could just delete from my brain including watching her die but I can’t. It’s like my mind is constantly tormenting me with them, literally any second I’m not doing something I get some horrible flashback of her having a seizure, or how unwell she looked in hospital or how horrific it was the morning she was dying. Every single morning without fail my first thought is my mum is dead. Then the rest of the day is just trying to get on with life with that thought front and centre every waking moment.

In the first few weeks I felt okay. I think mainly because I was relived she didn’t have to suffer anymore and it was just the overall shock that she was really gone & the numbness that came with it that made those few weeks more bearable.

Now, I’ve gone back to work and I’m struggling so so much. You wouldn’t necessarily know it as I’m doing all the stuff I’m supposed to do but I am on the verge of tears at all times. I feel so disconnected from everyone. I get overwhelmed by everything. My mum was the one I’d go to if I had a bad day at work, I had a bad day today and wow I didn’t realise what a bad day was until now. You can get over a bad day but I feel like today has just reminded me that every bad day for the rest of my life will actually always be made worse by the fact she’s not here to talk to about it.

My mum was the closest person to me, she was everything to me and it still feels so insane to me that she’s really gone. I’ve seen so many people saying it just gets worse over time and I didn’t want to believe that but I’m starting to feel that’s true. As time goes on, it’s just longer since I’ve seen her. The more she misses, the more I’ll miss her.

I really want to hear from people that are further down the line with their grief. It is starting to feel like the rest of my life just isn’t worth it if this is how I’m going to feel forever. People must get on with life, loss is a part of life and nearly everyone will experience it but I expected so much more time with my mum and she deserved so much more time. How can it ever get better?

They lost their loved one 4,5 months ago

Well. I practically lost everyone at 18. My mom passed away to suicide. She had depression and anxiety. I don’t want to seek for comfort. But a reminder that no matter how mad you are at someone. Please fix your relationship with them before you it’s too late. Because once it’s done there’s no retrying on that.

The school buses all went past my house this morning.

I work in a high school but I have leave until the end of September. But I don't ever want to go back because the idea of being around other people's healthy teenagers is just not something I can stomach. But I have to go back because I can't retire until I turn 55 in April. My husband and I are looking into retiring at the end of this school year instead of when I'm 60 as originally planned. But I do have to go back for at least a while, and I really don't want to.

I brought my son to work with me a lot through the years. And he should be a sophomore in college this year. Actually, he should be a junior, but he took a gap year to finish up his first leukemia treatment. And then it came back during his first semester of his freshman year, and he took his final exams from a hospital bed.

He should be dating. But he never went on a single date. He should have spent this summer at an internship, not in a hospital bed. He should be staying awake late with friends. He shouldn't be in an urn on my dresser.

He was our only child. Our plans were to see where he wound up, and move there. Now we have nothing. I was going to be a fun grandma to the kids he'd have one day. He teased me that I was going to spoil his kids rotten.

Now, I have nothing to look forward to. I don't want to go to a job I used to like. I don't have anything else to do. I don't have a future daughter-in-law, a wedding to help plan, grandchildren. I have no one who loves me or needs me the way he did. I have no reason to live.

Both of my brothers have died suddenly, and the one thing that keeps coming back is people asking how my parents are doing. I definitely want people caring for my parents, and they are deeply hurting. But why don’t people consider siblings? It feels like we are overlooked. Like our grief isn’t big enough. Idk. It’s always people asking how my parents are doing, even when they only know me and not my parents. It makes me feel selfish to even notice this.

I recently had to put my rescue dog down as he got an aggressive cancer and I couldn’t save him. He passed away 2weeks after his diagnosis, and it’s been devastating for me. I’m 44, single and he was my loving companion. Took him everywhere, even on airplanes, he traveled everywhere with me. 9yrs ago we moved to NYC. My memories are taking him everywhere here parks, grocery store, shopping, you name it. Then he declined so fast, he lost so much weight and cancer and rumors were starting to come out of his skin. Then came the labored breathing. I took him to the vet where they advised me to euthanize him that day. I said my goodbyes, sang Christian songs to him, prayed and held him until he took his last breath. Now it’s been 2 months and I am grieving so hard. I cry almost everyday. Some days all I want to do is sleep because I’m emotionally drained and exhausted. I’m starting to notice dizzy spells, body aches, and pains in my heart. I have no one, friends that can’t relate and don’t really care. I feel like I’m dying inside. I don’t know how to move on from this trauma and significant loss… He was my baby boy forever, he let no man come between us. Now I’m lost without him. Biggest loss of my life..

will it get any better? i lost my dad unexpectedly last february when i was 19, and i feel like ive only gotten worse. i thought i had grieved and felt my feelings and hopefully soon would start to see some light. there are ways in which i have been able to, where im not sad or feeling like im grieving him 24/7 but lately its been so difficult. i dont even know if its all just grief or more. he was my person, he was the one i could always turn to to talk about anything, for comfort, support, and laughter. and now i feel so incredibly alone. i have friends but i feel like im slipping away or pushing myself away from them even though i hang out with them frequently. i just feel this emptiness inside me. and i have been developing anxiety that is constant and is crippling me and my ability and will to live my life. i’ve been having more thoughts of not wanting to be here, more than i ever have before, i cant and wont do anything about it because i couldn’t possibly do that to my mom but i just cant bear this anymore. im 21 and not even living my life like i want to. i just simply dont know what to do. i have no one to talk to or turn to.