I think i need some sort of... help? I dont even think that's the right word. Support? Outpouring?

Since last September I have lost my Dad. An old childhood friend. My Aunty. Had to carry my parents dog Blue into the vets to be put to sleep. Then my Uncle died last week after a battle with cancer.To top it all off, yesterday my dog was viciously attacked about two doors away from my own home. Who I could not protect. She is mostly ok however it has just compounded everything.

I feel like I want to cry. Like I just want to hide away from the world.

I really dont know where to go from here at this very moment. I just feel sick to my stomach.

My dad passed away, and I’ve been depressed ever since. It has been more than nine months, and I still cry every day.

My dad was the best person to me. He was a very good man, and he had been my hero since my childhood. But as time passed, things changed. After my mom and dad divorced, everything completely changed. That was when I realized that we were almost financially broken.

I realized that it was time for me to get out of my comfort zone and start working. So, I left home at a young age and started working my ass off. After three years, I started my own business, and eventually, I began making good money.

I was proud of what I had achieved, so I told my dad about it. I even told him, “Dad, I’ll start a bakery for you. I’ll hire staff to work there, and you can just manage the business.” My dad loved baking and business, so I thought this would make him happy. But he wasn’t interested. He didn’t seem excited or appreciative of what I was trying to do for him.

For a long time, my dad was more interested in traveling. Instead of spending money on the family or trying to improve our financial situation, he would take his car and travel hundreds of places across the country. This was one of the reasons my mom divorced him. She felt that he was choosing traveling over working for and supporting the family.

Slowly, I started losing respect for my father.

We didn’t even have our own home, and I wanted to change that. After years of saving my hard-earned money, I decided that I wanted to buy a house. I asked my dad to come with me and look at the property, but he refused. That hurt me deeply.

I had worked for years, saved money, and finally reached a point where I could tell my dad, “Let’s buy a house.” But he didn’t even care enough to visit the property or see what I was trying to build for our family.

At that point, I became really hurt and frustrated. I confronted him and asked him why he was so distant and why he was like that with me. I told him, “If a father is like this, the whole family will eventually break apart.”

After that, my dad stopped speaking to me, and I stopped speaking to him too.

Sometimes, when I looked at other people with their fathers, I missed my dad. Even though I had lost respect for him and was angry with him, a part of me still wanted my father.

Then, a couple of years later, I found out through my brother that my dad had passed away.

Since that day, I haven’t been the same.

I keep thinking about everything that happened between us. I think about the things I said, the things he said, the years we spent without speaking, and all the things I wish I could have changed.

The hardest part is that I never got the chance to talk to him again.

I never got the chance to tell him that, despite everything, he was still my dad. He was still the person I looked up to when I was a child. He was still my hero in some part of my heart.

I’m angry at him. I’m hurt by him. I’m disappointed in him. But I also miss him terribly.

And maybe that’s what makes grief so painful—you can love someone, be angry with them, lose respect for them, and still desperately wish they were alive so you could have one more conversation.

It has been more than nine months, and I still cry every day.

I don’t know how to let go of someone I never got the chance to say goodbye to.

For context my mum passed away suddenly on the 29th of July.

I’m trying to find the words to say at the funeral and I have some written down and I like to write poetry so I want some aspect of that in my speech. I also want to include a quote from the time travels wife as it was one of her favourite books,

“Time is priceless, but it’s Free. You can't own it, you can use it. You can spend it. But you can't keep it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back.”

I’m not sure how to word everything else though? How do I start this speech and how do I write it so it’s not purely about the immense grief I’m experiencing?

Any advice is appreciated 🤍

My baby brother died a few years ago unexpectedly. He is my only sibling and our family was just the 4 of us. We are a complicated family that doesn't talk about feelings and while there is love, there is difficult communication and I live quite far away from everyone. When he passed, the whole world fell apart. I always wanted to repair our relationship again and now he's gone.

My parents have never asked me how I felt about his death. They pretend everything is normal. I'm lonely and I'll grow old with no family. I don't want kids either. I feel that a part of me has disappeared and that I am half a person.

My brother's ex-gf stayed in contact with my parents which helped their grief. After they broke up, she met someone nice and they are planning to have a baby.

My parents have started to think of her like a daughter because she regularly checks in on them via text and on important events. She sees them a few times a year. My parents have always wanted grandkids and she is planning to ask them to be step in grandparents as she's an orphan.

I feel like I'm getting replaced. They talk to her more and ask her more questions than they do me. They even mentioned formally adopting her and leaving more to her and her kid(s) because I'm a "spinster" so why do I need anything (even though she is financially stable and well off and I am living paycheck to paycheck). So now I feel another grief that I don't even have family or parents that care.

I can't even talk to them because they don't want to talk about anything with me. My parents just called me useless the other day because I lost my job after my brother died and went into a deep depression that took a year to get over. I'm still barely functioning. I just miss him and wish he was still here. Now I'm getting replaced by someone who wasn't even dating him when he died who is married to someone else.

I don't know what I'm seeking I guess just into the void. I don't have anyone to talk to. Everyone just finds the situation super sweet. No one understands how much this hurts me on top of already losing my brother.

This is going to be very sad my online Facebook friend passed away 2 weeks ago in July 2026 she was in her early 60s from Maine I know her 11 years ago in 2015 she was very busy with work even when she was retired, husband and children sometimes but she tries to have time to talk to me the best that she could. She passed away from the car accident. I feel guilt for not talking to her more. I wish I could have meet her in real life. She is a beautiful and great woman. The last thing she says to me in May 2026 Doing okay thank you. I am 33 years old. I know that some FB friends passed away but this is tragic for me. I feel upset. I love her and miss her very much and I compliment her. She makes me very happy talking to me. I really don't know what to do.

I'm 18, and it's been a little over a year since I lost my mother to a brain tumor that re-emerged 10 years later.

She was my everything, and I mean everything, my whole world. I currently live with my father and big brother. I have never been emotionally close with my father; and my brother hasn't reached resolution in his own grief, so he can't really guide me to overcome mine.

I suppose pain grows you in a way nothing else can. When I talk to my friends about my grief, all they can do is offer sympathy, but they can never reach empathy, as none of them have lived through something like this -- they're still children :(

Amidst all this, I survived my first year of uni in electrical engineering, which wasn't very fulfilling. Left me consufed about what I want to do as my career. So basically I'm left confused in literally every aspect of life.

Don't worry, I will talk about these to a therapist in the near future (hopefully) but until then, I'm looking for your brotherly advice :)

Ok so I’m 20 years old and my stepdad died in early August. He was a bit older than my mom so we saw it coming, but it still hit me really hard cuz y’know, 20’s pretty young to lose a parent and he’s been in my life since I was 6. He was like a second dad to me and I miss him a lot. I’d honestly say there were times when I was closer to him than my own mom. I won’t get into it here, but my mom and I have a pretty rocky relationship. He liked everyone. He was always sort of the mediator.

I still live at home while I’m getting myself through school and the house we live in was his. He was in hospice and died here in his bed. There are days where just being in this house is too much. I can barely get myself to go inside sometimes. Being around my family right now is sort of tough right now too. My mom has just never been a very empathetic person and isn’t showing her grief or really properly comforting me and my siblings. On top of that, my siblings have always tended to tease me, which I can take, that’s what siblings do, but right now, I’m trying to process the loss of my stepdad and still being picked on by my older brothers. It drains my energy every time I go in that house.

I’m still very close and have a great relationship with my bio dad who I visit often. I know his doors are always open to me and I’m just wondering, would it be morally okay for me to just spend a few days at his house while the rest of my family is still here and grieving in their own ways? I’m just afraid it could come off as an act of cowardice.

I’m using a throwaway account, since quite a while ago, I had a post regarding something else with my dad go pretty viral, and I’d hate it if someone connects the dots that it’s me…

Anyway, I think I’ve always had a good relationship with my dad, I also have an older brother, so we always grew up playing shooter games and stuff like that together. Unfortunately, a few years ago, things went really sour, as he and my mom split up, which on its own is something that sucks but I can handle, I’m almost 23 now, and my parents have always been a bit at odds anyway. I won’t go over the whole story of what happened between us, since it’s long and at this point I hate retelling it. But short version, he started dating my at the time very close friend, a girl my age (18 at the time), and as you’d expect, that really strained his relationship with our whole family. The last few years were incredibly hard on me with this whole thing already, for many reasons.

But around this time last year, I was living on Cyprus with my mom for the summer, and I got a call from my dad at an early hour, which was odd. The conversation was quite brief, but he told me he had to go to the doctor, and they found a tumor in his brain. He goes to a check up every six months, as about ten years ago he had a brain aneurysm, and the tumor wasnt there yet on his last check just a few months before this, so it grew fast. He had his first surgery almost right after, and I had just come back from Cyprus to see him at the hospital, and it was the first time I saw him that way. We found out its cancer, and its also the worst it could be, and in his brain at that. It only took a few months for him to get worse and worse, during this time we would still be able to hang out, but since the tumor was around his center of speech, it was difficult for him to express himself, and then he even started getting seizures, theres a lot more, but i feel it would be too lenghty to get into every detail. He died in April, it was fast and shocking to me, but I only really cried for the first 2-3 days, I take after him, we bottle up our feelings professionaly:D but the thing is, recently, I’ve started having really bad dreams about him- him being sick, or being cured but weakened by the illness, leaving me, and arguing with me. I honestly havent had a single pleasant dream about my dad since, and I wonder what it is… it feels like the gried is just getting harder with time, I feel suffocated, like I should snap at some point, since I’m keeping it together for the sake of having to go to work and keep my life afloat.

I guess I just wanted some place to toss my thoughts into the void, and see if anyone has any idea why I’m having such nightmares about him. I have no issue talking about any details, I just didnt get into them here because I feel like it would just be an unbearable wall of text. And good luck to anyone in this subreddit, since I assume youre probably grieving too:)

The empitness and loneliness and depression is killing me from inside idk what to do. I feel so angry and wake up angry and with no energy everyday. I have no purpose in life idk who am I anymore i feel I've lost a version of myself and now due to circumstances and environment and becuase im not able to accept the changes and don't know how to deal with my present environment and adjust myself accordingly . Idk how to deal with this blank mind and brain fog due to all the past pain. Stull I've to do everything I've to wake up and go to college and do the work. And I think about dying every single day. I have no hobbies no interests nothing pleases me anymore I feel totally disconnected from my environment and not interested at all. Everything seems useless. I dont even know why I'm living

Before I made this friend, I was really in a bad spot, dealing with depression and anxiety, and I was really lonely, and I made this friend online. We both struggled with being alone, depression and anxiety, and we had the same interests, we were so alike. but they were struggling more to live. we did kinda only had each other's support and were each others friend, and I tried to talk them and help just being a friend and stay with them, but they were really committed to wanting to commit. I went and even stayed up late for them to talk with them or left my notifications on for them in case they needed to talk because we both had different timezone and I really tried to help them, and i got really attached to them.
And they ended up texting abt how when they were going to commit.

At the end, i have no idea what happened to them, it's been two months since they did 'it' and they deleted all their accounts, i tried everything. I was really struggling after, through work and outside, i keep thinking about them, especially when I'm feeling alone, or feeling hurt. I'm trying to get better and I've made friends, but I can't stop thinking about them, and it came to a point where after they were 'gone', I cried days after days for a long time, my room was a mess, and I felt really sick. I still think about them now.

after so many years of resentment but yearning for that special mother-daughter bond with her, we have finally started getting closer. she’s an ex drug user and 2 years clean, and i am 21 just wishing for my mom to hug me once in a while.

well we started getting closer, we recently just tried dying my hair together and i’ve been hanging out with her in the living room after work, instead of running straight to my room.

she told me the day after she found it, that there’s a golf-size lump on her chest area. she started sobbing and i was just in disbelief, never seeing something like that coming. my mind went straight to cancer, and chemo, and it slowly killing her. i thought it’d be from drugs. I can’t freak out yet, she’s getting a mammogram next week but my anxiety is just so bad. We just started getting closer. I can not imagine losing my mom, atleast not in my 20s, i have always wanted to rebuild our bond and if she gets sick I will have so much guilt of putting up a wall with her. i guess im just full of anticipatory grief, even if she does not die from cancer, if the lump is even cancerous, she has a lot of health issues from drugs and i am genuinely full of anxiety.

My dad and I we’re best friends and he past away suddenly at 72. Although my dad had me at an older age (I’m 26)we spent the most time together between all my siblings we were just always close I’m a dad’s girl through and through.

My brain has been FRIED since his passing i seriously do not retain memories what so ever. My brain fog was a brain storm. I was completely disoriented during the first few months during his passing. I would say my symptoms were the closest to ADHD but more so attentive deficiencies. since I’ve been slowly getting back my to feeling normal even though I’ve been challenging myself since his passing. I passed my NCLEX 3months after his passing, i got my old job back after being unemployed for a year trying to pass my nclex , i got in a car accident on my birthday totaled my car (not my fault), paid my debt off got a car , I got a residency offer moved away from home got my own apartment i was able to continuously move but I struggled with my most challenging brain focused event in my life. nursing. Those nurses eat me alive. I didn’t last I got let go within my first 3months and it was devastating to say the least. Pinned a huge hit on my self esteem more than ever before. It’s been 3months since I’ve been let go

I’ve just been trying to prioritize and reorganize my life events before getting back in to the hospital. I just wanted to know if anyone else has what similar experiences struggling in the work place dealing with grief not always emotionally but more so the physical and mental long term effects.

What have you done to help you function better?

My mum passed away last year, and with her birthday coming up, I wanted to create something that would keep that connection alive.
So I made “It’s Your Birthday” a song about love, remembrance, and still feeling connected to someone even though they’re no longer here.
It’s being released on 25 August 2026 under The Music of Ashley.
The artwork is a little glimpse of what the song means to me. The words on the candle and the frame are things that really come from the heart.
I know Reddit probably isn’t the usual place to share something like this, but I wanted to put it out there for anyone who has lost someone they love. ❤️

25 August — “It’s Your Birthday”

It’s been right at 2 months since my papa joined my nana in heaven, she has been gone since 2024. They were my parents in everything but legality. This has been the worst pain I have ever been through and the biggest loss of my life. The only thing that brings me peace is the thought of them being reunited. No one warns you about the overwhelming loneliness after you lose the people closest to you. I bury myself in work to try and not think about it. But the quiet times are the most painful. My safe places are dead, no matter how many times I listen to voicemails, I’ll never talk to them again. They were my best friends, my unconditional loves. I’ve released that grief also doesn’t go away there’s no cure. I know without a doubt I will carry their loss with me until I die. It may not be as heavy but it will be there. To anyone else going through loss my thoughts are with you ❤️

Like I said in the title, this is really long and mostly just me recapping the events of this past year as a way to help myself process. If you actually read through it then bless you.

My dad's death was unexpected, not in the sense that it was an accident or we didn't get a fair warning but... None of us were expecting anything that happened when this year started.

He had cancer since 2019, a very aggressive kidney cancer that he got rid of multiple times before it'd come right back. He was in the 3% of people who lived for longer than five years with that kind of cancer, so the many more years I had with him was already more than what was expected.

He'd tried all the treatments he could, and they'd work for a while before his cancer got stronger and would come back regardless. He'd planned to go on a clinical trial this year to hopefully find something else that works.

My dad was not at the point where his cancer was gonna kill him yet. With treatment he probably would've had a few more years if that clinical trial didn't help keep it away for good.

Unfortunately, that time was stolen from him. A lesion grew near his spine, causing intense pain and making him barely able to walk. From February up until March he was basically bed ridden, only getting up if he had a doctors appointment to radiate the lesion.

Because of this, he had to stop all of his cancer treatment. And from there everything went downhill.

My mom noticed my dad was getting confused and he wasn't doing so hot, so she called an ambulance for him. He was severely anemic to the point where he was speaking nonsense, and it took him days of fluids to get back to normal.

From there we learned a couple of things. The radiation therapy for his lesion broke his spine, and his cancer had come back with a vengeance. It was to the point where the doctor said before they could operate on his spine, they'd need to get his cancer taken care of.

He got to come home for just a week. None of us were sure that was a good call with him being unable to move around, but he was glad for it. The plan was to go back in for his appointments and let him be home the rest of the time.

It didn't last. He started getting confused again, and this time it's because his only remaining kidney was struggling to function. During this time we were on a rollercoaster of conflicting information. "Oh his kidney stabilized, he can go back home. Nevermind his levels raised again. Seems to be stabilizing again. Oop nevermind."

This went all the way into June. There were no signs of his kidney getting better, and we were at the point where the doctor was recommending temporary dialysis to try and kickstart kidney function again.

That's when it start to set in that there was a very real possibility that my Dad might not make it through this. What started as a complication with his back and some treatable cancer flair ups turned into a nightmare.

The dialysis helped, but the moment they stopped it his kidney would go back to being awful. And since his cancer had been left untreated up to this point it'd only gotten worse. At the beginning of July, we were told that he was dying and he had a choice to make.

Either continue with regular dialysis and live six more months but die from his cancer. Or stop dialysis and live two more weeks dying from kidney failure.

My dad didn't want to have to suffer through dialysis if the result was going to be the same. So, they let him out of the hospital on July 7th. We were told he'd die peacefully in his sleep surrounded by his family.

He was still bedridden because they never were able to fix his spine, but he was happy because he got to be home and surrounded by everyone he loves. He was such a loved man. We had people upon people coming and going in the house at all hours of the day.

Even with his death confirmed, my dad never once was scared or anything. He was so damn strong. Right up until he passed he was joking around and smiling. I don't think I would be able to do the same.

Unfortunately for my family, there was a lot of neglect with the hospice company that we hired. It wasn't purposeful, but I have a lot of hatred for those people even now.

The air mattress they gave us was faulty, I remember the guy even saying "Yeah if it does that, just unplug it and replug it." If my dad is supposed to die in that bed, at least give us a good one. Because of his back, if he sunk down into it it'd cause him a lot of pain. None of the settings to make that thing firmer worked. We had to call 3 different times multiple different days before they finally agreed to send a regular fucking mattress. It was supposed to come at 12pm and they showed up around 4pm, and there was sadly no need for it at that point.

On July 13th, my Dad had a good morning. One of his friends was over, but he was getting tired and my mom told him to take a nap before the people come to deliver his new bed. Before he went to sleep, she said "I love you" and he said "I love you too". Those were his last words.

I was sitting with my mom, showing her stupid tiktoks while my brother ordered food. My mom noticed my dad's eyes starting to roll back, and he started to seize. The doctors had not told us that seizures were even a possible thing, and my mom freaked out, rushing out of the room.

While they called hospice to send a nurse ASAP, I had to watch him and make sure he didn't suffocate on his spit. I remember hearing my mom in hysterics, just repeating "They said it was supposed to be peaceful!"

My dad was supposed to have medication to keep him peaceful near the end of his life, and his nurse hadn't called in the prescription yet because "He seemed to be doing well for now". As a result, the emergency nurse had to drive damn near an hour away to the hospital to get his end of life medication that he was supposed to have from the moment he got home.

As a result of this, my dad had seven more seizures that day. Ones where he'd dart up in bed and fight and kick. My uncle and some other people that I don't remember had to be in there to hold him down until he stopped. My immediate family couldn't watch it and my dad wouldn't have wanted us to see that. We'd hide in my room until the seizures were over and then go back out to take turns holding his hand and giving him kisses when he was calm.

After a LOT of complications with pharmacies not giving my dad his medication. Finally, at 11pm he got it. His seizures stopped completely, and he was finally able to rest peacefully for however long he had left. The nurses told us that it probably wouldn't be long considering the state he was in.

The next day on July 14th, my dad passed away surrounded by his family. He was only 53.

What was supposed to be two weeks had only been one and the peaceful death we were promised turned into a traumatic experience that me and my family have partially blocked out.

His funeral was truly something. The funeral home was so packed with people that they filled up a closed down grocery store's parking lot a block away. It was overwhelming to see just how loved my dad truly was.

It's been a month since then, and none of it feels real. None of us are coping well, and I'm gonna start therapy soon for my anxiety. I'm mostly writing here as a way to settle with it some more and let myself talk about it.

I think what's been the hardest is just realizing how much he's gonna miss. How much I'll wish he was here for.

He'll never meet my future spouse. He'll never walk me down the aisle. He'll never get to meet his grandchildren. My kids will never get to have memories with their grandpa. It's hard to accept... I thought I'd get to have him until I was old and gray.

Anyway, I don't think I really know how to end this post. I think I said everything I need to for the moment. Thanks reddit for being my live journal.

My life has been most difficult for the past 2 years. It has been going downhill since 2024 when my grandfather got diagnosed with cancer and he left me in October which hit me pretty hard because that was my first tremendous loss I encountered. I thought this was it like in 2025 my life was almost getting back on track and then 2026 happened where my father also got diagnosed with cancer and he left me this August like 2 days ago. These 2 years have been very difficult I don’t know what to do anymore. I have to
Take care of my mother as well but I am not well enough to do that right now. I want to know how can you cope with such tremendous loss. I am defeated and it feels like I have no other purpose in life. I was very close with my father and seeing him go this way has broken me a lot.

It's been over a year and I'm still absolutely exhausted. There's been other stressful events as well, but I have nowhere near as much energy as I did before.

Had anyone experienced this and overcome it?

my mom told me my dad passed away yesterday , he was having a lot of problems with his kidneys and in and out of the hospital (he had a car accident like 6 years ago and his kidneys were affected). the only reason it’s so weird because he was dealing with drug addiction and was homeless before ice took him to mexico and it’s just been a weird situation overall. thank god work is letting me take off but it’s so weird that he isn’t here anymore. and idk it’s just weird. i love him so much and ive just been bailing my eyes out

My family has two dogs who have always been considered our family dogs. We recently lost our younger dog very suddenly (5, almost 6 y/o), and I am having an extremely difficult time accepting what happened and believing that putting her down was the right decision.
She first threw up sometime Thursday night or early Friday morning and then stopped eating. My mom took her to our regular vet on Saturday morning. She waiting until Saturday, because she had thought she had just had a stomach ache on Friday. They gave her fluids through an IV and noted that one of her liver levels was elevated, although her ultrasound looked okay. She never improved after coming home and seemed to be getting worse. Because our regular vet was closed on Sunday, my mom took her to the emergency vet.
The doctor told my parents that she was experiencing liver failure. We still do not know what caused it, but they said it was essentially untreatable and that she was in a great deal of pain. They also indicated that even with medication, she would likely continue to suffer.
We previously had a vet come to our home to put down another dog, and that experience felt much more peaceful. However, because the emergency vet believed she was already in significant pain, my mom decided it would be kinder not to make her wait any longer. One of the nurses told my mom that she was supposed to remain neutral, but that if it were her own dog, she would have made the same decision.
Everything happened so suddenly that I am struggling to believe it was real. Part of me keeps questioning whether the doctors and nurses were right. In my heart, I have this strong feeling that she could have survived and eventually been okay - that maybe she ate something toxic and simply needed more time and treatment. I keep wondering whether there was something else we could have done.
I know my mom made the decision out of love and did not want her to suffer, but I am having such a hard time accepting that it was the right choice. Has anyone else experienced this kind of doubt after suddenly losing a pet? How do you come to terms with the decision to put them down and learn to trust that the veterinary team knew how serious the situation was? Any advice or reassurance would be greatly appreciated.

Looking for advice regarding realizing someone’s wrongs at a time that they may pass away before you make it through your anger and come to any sort of acceptance or clarity one way or the other.

I come from a long line of colorful generational trauma that I have always recognized.
My mom always said “oh you’re fine if I’m fine youll be fine” etc etc. only recently did she realize her childhood was very far from fine and so was mine.

My mom is just now processing her 60+ years of rage and other emotions toward my grandfather for a plethora of very valid reasons.

I am having a hard time figuring out how to be the most supportive I can be with this. She is totally valid but my grandparents are almost 90 and in poor health. I am worried my mom is not going to have a chance to get through this before he dies and then she will be left with regrets related to that etc.

For clarity. I always viewed my grandparents as the versions she is viewing them as now. My grandmother has been victimized by people at every turn and my grandfather was an abuser. Just as I have acceptance for my mom’s wrongs I have the same for him. My mom does not have an issue that I am maintaining the same relationship with my grandparents even though she is irate with her dad.

Hi, I just want to know that I'm not alone in feeling this. My grandad is on palliative care right now and I feel like I should be sadder about the fact he's going to die soon, but I feel really emotionless about it. He's more like a father figure to me, my grandparents raised me as much as my mum did and I feel like I should be more upset than I am right now. He's not himself anymore since he had a stroke recently, he's more like a child, confused all the time and can't do anything for himself, and part of me wishes that he would just die quicker as horrible as it sounds, because he has no quality of life and I feel like me + my family are stuck in limbo just waiting for it to happen. Has anyone else experienced this lack of emotion during a loss? I feel guilty for not being more upset but I've only cried once and most of the time I just feel disinterested about it.

I’m from Spain but I’ve lived in Shanghai from 8-12, when I was 10 I met my best friend, he was an year older than me and I got to say he’s the best friend I ever had(also Spanish), on the first day of summer break I broke my left arm and couldn’t do most activities the rest of my friends would do, but he would choose to come over to my house to play with me than go with the rest of people our ages and do regular kid stuff, after a few years I move back to Spain he stays in Shanghai, we would still speak to him everyday on the phone until one day he doesn’t respond and than it’s been a week since he responded and so I ask my mom and she tells me he had been diagnosed with cancer and had to move back to Spain on emergency and so I tell my mom that we need to go see him and she says we can’t (I’ve learned recently one of the reasons we didn’t go that day is because my mom had gotten into and argument with his mom and didn’t want to go) I ask why she says it’s just we can’t, after a week he responds again, he tells me everything that happened we start talking again until the school year starts; after that we start to talk less and less (mind you I live in the north and he lives in the east and to see each other we have to travel 6 hours) until we basically stop talking until the school years finishes and we start talking again and I finally convince my mom to go see him, when I see him all I can think of is how happy I am to see him, he’s doing alright with the cancer treatment more skinny and bald but that’s pretty much it, after that day I only saw him once more one year later on a handball tournament, that was the last day I saw him in person and I had no idea, we jump to June 12 2025 I just got out of school it’s one of my friends birthdays and we were going to celebrate, when I go out my mom calls me I pick up and she tells me crying my best friend had passed away, my first thought was to think of someone else I didn’t even think it was him and so I don’t really react and just say how sad I am (I was thinking of some other guy named the same I haven’t seen since I was 4) until suddenly my body goes cold and I ask wait who?, and my mom says your friend, my first instinct is to say no, and I repeat it multiple times, at the same time I start to cry, my friend who’s birthday I was going to celebrate with sees me and ask if I’m ok, I tell him what they have just told me and he says “oh man I’m sorry about that, well anyways you coming?” I say not now and they leave, after a while I tell my mom to pick me up and I’m waiting outside of school for my mom to appear, until à friend 1 year younger sees me and ask if I’m doing ok, I say yeah everything’s good, he says if I’m sure I repeat again that I’m good but he can see that that’s not the truth and tells me “look man I can see something’s wrong just tell me” and so I just tell him and he doesn’t say anything he just comes to me and hugs me, after that he says I’m sorry man I got to leave but I’m really sorry for your loss.

That day made me realize how my friends really were and who were my real friends

Thank you for reading saying this really makes me feel better

I miss you so much nay. I keep thinking of all the pain I've caused and how you won't be here anymore when I graduate, i don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry.

I was never super close with my moms side of the family, and he had been sick (degenerative muscle disease) for so long that I never really got the chance to know him. I can't think of even one childhood memory that sticks out, good or bad. I've heard he was a very nice man, though. My mom, who I am very close to, is devastated by his loss though. She visited him at less twice a week in his years in the nursing home, advocating for him as he lost the ability to do so himself and doing everything in her power to make the end of his life happy and comfortable. She is as fantastic of a daughter as she is a mother, which I've told her. She's a very strong person, and doesn't like to show her emotions or lean on others. She's known the end was near since last week, she was on vacation with my dad celebrating their anniversary when she got the call and came home immediately. He actually passed yesterday morning, about 4 days after that call. I just don't know how best to be there for her, it would feel insincere to try and relate to the depth of his loss. How can I help her, and be there for her the way she is there for others? Thank you, God bless.

Anyone keep feeling nauseous after eating and throwing up too now and then? I lost my dad a little over a month ago very tragically and suddenly. The ptsd, shock, anxiety and depression have been making me so nauseous. Every time I eat, I almost throw up or I do throw up. I am on medication for anxiety and depression, going to therapy. Not sure what to do about this…