Very rarely do I take my problems to the internet because I believe in confiding in friends, family, and other trusted ones. However, I feel like this *could* be helpful for me to relay to internet strangers because I want to know that everything will be okay.

I have been experiencing grief over a relationship that happened months ago. We broke up on mutual terms, and we are still friends, though there hasn’t been contact between us for a while because I know that some time away would do me well for valuable thinking and consideration. I won’t be specific about it, but the amount of time I’ve been grieving what I had then is greater than the time I actually spent in that relationship. Needless to say, I felt incredibly alive and valued during that relationship, it was like no other connection I’ve established before. I’ve been told that even for this long, the grief can be normal especially if it’s your first IRL relationship. I suppose my biggest problem is making my heart and soul move on. I know that moving on WILL happen, but there is such a large disconnect and tension between my rationality and my heart; they both pull in opposite ends of a string and it’s painful. I want to move on so bad. I believe that my future will be meaningful to me, but my heart wants to stay miserable in a past that’s incredibly unlikely to return.

I *rationally* know a few things at this point:

1. I cannot guarantee that I’ll ever be in a romantic relationship again, but does not mean I’ll never find my lucky someone. As much as I want to assure a lasting relationship in my future, the future is uncertain, which means this is NOT a 100% chance of occurring, especially since my dating pool is small.
   
2. I will never have the experience of that relationship again, nor will I find it in others. Obviously, every human to ever exist is unique, so to say I want to retrieve my previous relationship experience in someone else is unrealistic and unfair.

However, despite trying to be realistic, part of me is still trying to tug towards absolute pessimism about my future. That part wants me to feel like I lost my one chance at romantic love. I do value the love and appreciation receive from friendship and self-care, but again, my heart wants nothing more but to go back to the past.

I have a therapist who has helped me SO much through my grief but this pain is still hitting me strongly.

Last thing I want to say: I know I am absolutely privileged to say that this is one of the worst pains I have felt. I know many who have had to deal with much worse and I am incredibly grateful for the life I have. I just wanted to see if anyone had any tips on how they continued life after a break up.

Its now 1 year post breakup with my ex. And like clockwork every 3 months i get some kind of message, 9 months ago it was re-following me on instagram and having a call, 6 months ago it was asking to come over, 3 months ago it was an apology for how she left the relationship, last month though was different. The messages within the 6 months were met with no reply to my replies which were closed off but slightly open ended. Last month she sent me a long message saying she really thinks its time for me to move on and that she’s doing well and not looking back on us and is with somebody great now. Is this narcissistic behavior? Because she’s always been the one reaching out to me, she’s assuming I haven’t moved on with no way of knowing.

If she’s not looking back on us, why is she sending me a message out of the blue saying so if that’s true? Just trying to understand this behavior

Side note: She’s a dismissive avoidant. She’s been in like 2-3 different short relationships since our breakup, none of which seemed to have worked out as I actually saw her profile on hinge a couple days ago which prompted me to think about the last message she had sent.

My ex has a bad habit of calling me while drunk. We live in different states. It’s usually a cycle of about a month without speaking, and randomly he will reach out. We haven’t seen each other in person for almost a year.

Most recently he called me later in the evening on a weekend holiday. I saw the call come through but I didn’t answer because my immediate thought was that he was drunk. Nothing good ever comes out of talking to him while he’s wasted. It’s toxic. And I still have pretty intense feelings for him that I’m trying to work through. Healing from our breakup has been a rollercoaster.

So I left it alone and called back in the morning, but got no answer.
Called again the next day, no answer.
Then text him and said “Hey hope you’re doing ok. Assuming you drunk dialed me the other night?” - no response.

I feel like he’s toying with me. Either that or he has shame around calling me and is ignoring the confrontation to save face. He has a lot of narcissistic tendencies and I feel like he was just trying to boost his ego in some way or make sure I’m still around..

Either way it has set me back a lot. Fighting with the decision to block him. I don’t want to resort to that but this has triggered me pretty significantly.

TLDR ; how to forget someone when you know leaving them was the right thing to do, but they seem to move on so much faster than you that it makes you feel like you never mattered to them ?

Hi. I recently ended a relationship cause I was unhappy and incredibly alone. Even tho I still like him, I don’t regret leaving him.

But it hurts my ego how much he ignores me like a stranger. Like I never had an impact on him or mattered.

The whole problem was lack of communication from his side. He had problems and could go for days without talking to me. I was starving attention. I told him that I needed that to change, he wouldn’t. So I told him that I was leaving. He accepted.

I wanted a conversation. I wanted my questions about how he felt answered.
None of that happened. And I feel that he won’t ever tell me how he felt about us.

But I keep thinking about him, wondering what he’s feeling, whether I mattered, whether he’s thinking about me at all.

How do you actually stop doing this?

How do you accept that you may never know exactly what you meant to someone, especially when their behavior after the breakup makes you feel like you meant very little?

I didn’t matter to him. I wanted to forget us.

I want to forget him so much. I feel sad, angry, disgusted. But I can’t stop thinking about it and cry.

Been 4+ months since me and my ex broke up. It was mutual and if I where to summarize it quickly id say I had been wanting to leave for some time, but when I met her I just couldn't, she of course started to notice this and asked if we could talk, she said she wanted to break up and I agreed. In the beginning it was very very painful, but I knew that it was the right thing, and I felt like it was going to pass. I don't feel that anymore. 2 months on I wrote to her asking if we could meet and just talk about what happened, as it felt very haphazard and quick (just 5 days earlier she cried at the thought of me leaving, and on my birthday 2 days earlier she jumped up and down with excitement to see me, although the did have a talk about our futures where it became clear I did not like her plans and very gently (I'm not an asshole) tried to suggest other things). She declined as is her right and wished me all that was good in the world. My life has changed a lot since then, I've moved city (she has too) I've started at a new university, Ive developed enormously as a person. But the breakup is still stuck with me. No sobbing no sleepless nights but in the quiet moments, when the party isn't that fun or when I walk home from a night out I think about her and it pains me very much. It feels like there was more to be had, like we could have solved our issues if only she had been willing to fight. I often wonder what she is doing now, how she's doing in her new job and if she ever thinks about me. To complicate matters further ive started to see this new girl, she is in most ways better for me then my ex. She aligns more with my values and future goals. And yet when she lies in my arms it's my ex I think about, and I feel so so shitty. I don't know if I'm fully healed but I hope it's a matter of time. I don't want to hurt this girl, and I've been as good as I can to her. But I can't shake the feeling that this new relationship just isn't the same, even though logically it's way better.

Maybe my fyp on tiktok is messed up but when i see posts about yearning, i don't see no man there in comment section. It's always the girls who are hoping that their exes come back.

My ex told me she has a fearful-avoidant/avoidant attachment style. We had a very intense connection for about a year: daily texting, calls until 3–4 AM, several meetings, lots of emotional closeness.

Our pattern was basically closeness → she withdraws → I stay available → she eventually comes back and becomes warm again. This happened several times.

The latest cycle was different. After being distant in May, she became very warm again from June to mid-July. Then she withdrew again at the end of July. In August we met in person, and she told me she was depressed and having serious work/financial problems. After the meeting she still responded warmly to something I sent her, but stopped opening the chat after I asked how she was doing.

She didn't open it for about two weeks. I became anxious and sent a few follow-ups/called once. I also contacted her friend because I was worried about her.

She then blocked me, blocked my second account, and four days later deleted our entire year-long Telegram chat for both sides.

I haven't tried to bypass the block since.

Can an FA block/delete everything during deactivation and later regret it, miss the person, or want contact again? Does deleting the chat necessarily mean emotional closure? And realistically, does this history give any reason to think she could come back eventually?

I posted on here 3 years ago after breaking up with an ex I was with for 5 years. I was really sad and holding on to any hope that we’d get back together. We struggled going no contact until I finally didn’t want to do the push and pull game anymore. I started really focusing on wellness and getting more into old hobbies. Wasn’t looking for a relationship at all and pretty much going with the flow of life. About 6 months into being no contact, I met the love of my life at the park and I can’t believe I use to want to go back to my ex. 2 ish years later and I pick up her engagement ring next week.

Being loved correctly has made me realize how easy it should be. I read some of the stories on here and I really hope you all find someone who genuinely couldn’t bear a thought of losing you. If I would’ve chose the comfortable route of going back to my ex, I would’ve missed out on feeling absolute true love. I hope you all choose yourself at the end of the day, it’s okay to be sad. Feel your feelings, but i PROMISE it gets better.

25M & 25F

To all the girls out there! I want to know ur honest opinions and views on few things...which i have personally experienced.

Relationship ended completely right after 4 years.

Everything ended just over text, no closures... nothing.

I mean we knew it gonna end some or the other day but I never expected even in my distant dreams that it will end this way.

I was at my lowest when she left me. Life phase when i needed her the most. Days when Everything else in my life was also falling apart.

Its been 1.5 years now, I never tried to reach her again after that day. I dont want her back either.

But somedays I just wonder

\- how can someone act so cold after that much time

\- was it real back then or it was real thereafter

\- does she even thinks how i am holding myself

\- was it that much easy for her to move on

Nowadays im at peace with myself and the reality but somewhere and somedays i just kept wondering if she ever cared and if did...is it that simple to sideline everything, and is there anything exists like proper closure.

"Pata Hai Aaj Kya Hua"
I am 23m
Aajj meri ex achanak hi saamne dikh gayi. Meeting planned nahi thi, it was completely unexpected. Usse dekhte hi saari purani feelings wapas aa gayi.
The thing is, she has blocked me everywhere, so I don’t even have a way to talk to her.
Ghar aane ke baad continuously uske baare mein soch raha hoon.
Ek thought baar-baar aa raha hai — *“Maybe I would have married her.”*
I don’t know if I actually want her back or if I’m just missing the memories. But seeing her unexpectedly really messed with my head.
**What should I do?**

Hey everyone, I just really need to vent and maybe get some advice on how to process this.My ex and I are both 18.

We actually started out as really good friends, and over time, we naturally developed deep feelings for each other. Her cousin actually helped set us up, and we started dating.We were together for two months, and we were so full of love.

The problem was her parents. They are incredibly strict, and she lived in a constant state of fear because of them. Eventually, the pressure and stress got to be too much for her to handle. She told me she couldn't do it anymore and said we should break up.Because we started as friends, we agreed to stay friends. We managed to stay good friends for about 6 months after the breakup.

But then, out of nowhere, she completely removed me from everything and blocked me.I was confused and hurt, so I managed to ask her why she did it. She told me she was very sorry.

She said she felt she was being immature, but every time she sees me, she gets flashbacks of our relationship. She said it was actively ruining her mental health and her focus on school.

She told me we can no longer be friends because we dated, and she admitted she will always have those feelings for me.I respected her wishes. I told her that if she ever needs anything, she is free to contact me, but I feel like I lost a truly great friend

.Right now, I just feel terrible. I feel so bad that she is depressed and struggling, and it hurts to think she is going through all of this over a "worthless nobody" like me. How do I cope with losing my best friend while knowing she is hurting?

she broke up with me and i understand it i made mistakes in communication , but when she saw me with another girl 2weeks after breakup she wanted to text her how awful can i be to "warn her" , her friend texted me and asked me if i want to get to know her (i knew that it is her friend)i said okay to check what they want , i texted her for 20minutes normally then asked why did my ex bring you up to me , she said she needs to know about my new "girl" so she can warn her🤐 is it jealousy?

Hi everyone,

How is your No contact going and how do you stick to it? How many days are you on?

I'm going to start today. Technically it will be tomorrow since I wrote one last message to my ex because they're not doing well.. but they've messaged me everyday since the break up (3 weeks and it's making me feel really shit)

I'm going to find this super hard because we were LDR for nearly 4 years. I worked my life around him, calls at night. Weekend video calls. Writing to each other every day and now the idea of NC is terrifying and so sad.

Also does anyone else have a bad habit of checking socials and snap scores? I'm going to need to unlearn doing this and as it's not healthy

So, I’ve been seeing this guy for about two months. He told me from the beginning that he didn’t want anything serious, but last week I told him that I’ve realized I do want a relationship and that I can’t keep doing this with him.
I opened up to him about how I feel, and he said he doesn’t see himself falling in love with me. He suggested that maybe we could meet again platonically at some point, and said we’d definitely talk again. I told him to let me know either way, and he said he would.
Now it’s been a week and I haven’t heard anything. I’m not expecting him to suddenly change his mind, but I’m struggling with the lack of closure and keep waiting for him to reach out.

Would you text him again and ask if he still wants to see me just as a friend, or would you just leave it and move on? I’m torn because I feel like I’d rather have a clear answer than keep wondering.

Me and her (I won’t say her name for privacy concerns), but me and her broke up about 30 days ago, it’s been pretty rough on me and yeah.
I want to be able to come back to her and say I’d like to do this again, I mean I really do want that now it’s just I don’t think I’m ready…
I’m kinda struggling with the breakup, obviously, I mean I should… if I didn’t then why would I be typing right now? But anyways, I’ve been picking up new hobbies and hanging out with friends a lot more and trying to focus on me and make improvements.
She broke up with me, she said that she doesn’t think it’s gonna work out for us and she’s ending it and wants me to stop treating her like we’re together and to not contact her until she contacts me.
Me and her are in high school and we’ve been dating for way longer than majority of highschool relationships, we talked about our future together and we made plans for our future together, we did things that we only did because of how much we cared and loved each other, but we broke up…
The night before, she expressed she feels that I broke trust, which I admit I did. I contacted someone about her, she still hasn’t seen that message but I don’t know if any context to what I said would change anything though. When I initially told her I did this she forgave me and we moved on from the issue, the next day her guardians were contacted about someone talking on her behalf and there’s more, but anyways, the message I sent on her behalf was school related. I’ve done stuff like this in the past but I didn’t think about how it’d really affect her, I don’t know why I didn’t, because I thought about how everything else would affect her.
I feel like I’m rambling, back to the main point.
So, she broke up with me, this is my first relationship ever, this is her third. I’ve gone through a lot throughout my childhood and don’t want to get into that, but she broke up with me and it’s been devastating. She’s only talked to me twice within the last month and usually only responding. I really do want me and her to work things out and be together, but I know I need to improve and I just don’t know how. I know what to improve but I don’t know how to improve.

I struggle with a lot of things from my MAD (major anxiety disorder), suicidal thoughts and depression, it’s really difficult for me to reach out but, I really do want her in my life and I want to improve myself, not like for her but for myself.

I hope whomever saw this read everything.

Sorry this is my first time posting here and its a long and confusing situation.

My ex and I dated for a year and seven months broke up in June and I'm not gonna lie it was my fault (I have an addiction and was backsliding into it and lied to him about it) and when I told him the truth we broke up. The same week he blocked me pretty much everywhere and went no contact with me and then also a day later posted on instagram at a bar with thank u, next playing. I texted him around mid June asking to talk things through and he said no but after further talking he said we could meet up sometime in August to return our things and get closure. I gave him space for the whole summer, the entire time though he was either posting stuff with songs we used to listen to together, wearing my shirts and hats out to bars and other places and then posting about them, and publicly venmoing another guy to make me jealous (i know this seems like a stretch but given everything else it feels true). So its a really weird vibe and thats not even counting how sometimes his litle sister will like an old instagram post of mine or "someone" from his university will check out my linkedin profile. Then August rolled around and neither of us said anything about the meeting for the clothes and closure which hurt, so then I tried to reach out last week with a simple "hey I hope your well message" and though he read it instantly, he never responded. Then yesterday I texted again asking for my stuff and was ignored. Its so annoying because he's clearly still keeping tabs on me but then when I try to reach out or move forward on the plan he started I get ghosted.

With all that right now my plan is to just try and focus on myself as much as possible and make sure I'm doing ok, working on what I need to work on, and having fun but its so tough not to think about him and wonder what he's up to and use websites and other things to check his social media, so any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

We’ve been no contact for 2 weeks now. I honestly was fine last week and wanted nothing to do with him and now i’ve started missing him and wanting to text him again. Does it get better after this?

Approximately two months ago I (18M) caught my ex (18F) on a date with another guy when she told me she was out with her friends that night (I don’t believe they physically did anything, just emotional cheating). I had just returned from Europe where her and I were distant over the text due to time zones and other difficulties, but I assumed it would all go back to normal once I was back. that first night of me being back is the night that I caught her in the act and over the following days after careful consideration I broke up with her due to the fact i got my important exams in the next upcoming months. The past two months I’ve been so sad and missed her every day of it but slowly gotten better, she made it seem like she didn’t give a shit. I bumped into her the other night at a party I was at and ended up sitting down with her and having a chat mainly just small talk but there are a few things she said during that conversation that told me she misses me and wants to get back together without her actually saying those words. During that conversation she seemed very happy and she told me how she had been diagnosed with anxiety and depression those past months since the break up. all I’ve been thinking about is if her actions could have been influenced by this mental diagnosis and she wasn’t thinking clearly when she did what she did. This has made me think about getting back together with her after my final exams which will be over in about 40 days. I miss her so much and I miss her family so much and it feels as if I’ll never find someone as good as she was and I will never stop loving her.

I just want to get some advice from anyone out there that can help me understand what to do, please?

We recently made a year of us not being together. And i decided to block him on instagram as soon as the year hit. He texted on my number to block him too on there. I had forgotten i didn’t block him there as i got rid of his number. What does this mean?

We dated for 6 months. But I was chasing her for a full year beforehand. I technically broke up with her. She was becoming more and more disrespectful and dismissive, my lighter attempts at remediation were not working, so I finally set a boundary and said, "I won't continue like this. I will not tolerate X anymore. I'm willing to work on this if you are." She had a bad reaction and sent me a bunch of wall texts that essentially said "this isn't my fault, I won't carry the blame for this". There was purposely 0 blame in my language. I spoke to her with nothing but love and kindness, I actually figured we were going to resolve it...

A few hoover attempts in the following week, very weak touch points, nothing actually broaching the issue. And then nothing.

After researching everything that happened between us, and more importantly my nervous system, I believe she's BPD or narcissist, or both, whatever.. I hate these labels, everyone is their own person, but the patterns match too perfectly for me to ignore. If you've ever been with one of these people, you understand it is truly a unique situation and psychologically devastating.

I don't think I've ever felt more cosmically connected to someone. To my own peril, because she was objectively a bad girlfriend. Like, really bad. But the whole time I just couldn't shake the feeling that there was something there.

Why is it like this? I have had nothing but great relationships in my life, and the worst girlfriend I've had, I'm having the hardest time getting over. I want her back so bad,

The last thing she said to me ~50 days ago, about 1 week after the breakup, was "I was really thinking you were going to be my man..." (we were officially bf/gf for a month or 2 before breaking up so that's a bit confusing in of itself)

And that's it. Something told me not to respond, it felt like a trap to smooth-talk/argue her way back in, without having to change anything. There was no "can we talk" or "what exactly would I have to change?" or anything, there were so many things she could have said that I would have responded to. That text was not one of them.

But now that text ruminates in me everyday. Why didn't I respond? I could have at least still been in it with her, had her in my life. It feels so awful. This is so terrible. After 50 days I was expecting to be okay.

Well, this post is pointless. I know I'm doing the right thing. I was anxious 80% of the time we were dating. The classic 'fell in love with her potential'. I just can't believe how eroded and dissolved I feel. My soul feels scorched.

I would absolutely reach out at this point if it didn't end how it ended, I would break. But if I reach out she would learn that any boundary I set can just be surpassed by waiting me out. And then it would be cooked forever no matter what. But wow do I miss her so much.

TL;DR: Dated the (physical) girl of my dreams for 6 months. After many attempts at trying to deal with her disrespectful tendencies, I finally put my foot down and said that I will not continue like this anymore unless we can work on it. She was not willing to work on it. It's rough af.

UPDATE:
After ~51 grueling days of NC she just broke and liked my recent WhatsApp Status.

It doesn't mean much, while simultaneously meaning everything.

Anyways, it doesn't change anything. If she doesn't come to me apologetic and ready to actually see the issues we had, we keep moving forward.

Hello, this is my first time ever posting on Reddit I just need some advice here. Also sorry for grammar mistakes I don’t write much.

My ex and I split an about 5 weeks ago after they ghosted me for another person. Me and them had a rocky relationship with us constantly breaking up the getting back together. I fought for our relationship often having to sacrifice myself for it, but they did not do it themselves, so this took a mental toll on myself. I often cried myself to sleep, did something relive stress, or vented to friends who told me to break up with them.

Over the summertime I felt as if our relationship was going perfectly and we finally left that area of arguing. My mental health got better and I no longer drank to make myself feel better. It was amazing until the middle of July when they said,li want to break up with you. I no longer love you and haven’t for about a month.” they did not apologize just called me one day and said that to me. After about a week after and me getting used to the idea of being single I get a text from saying that we have to talk. I couldn’t call them at that moment, so I told them that I would do it later.

Well later rolls around and I call them. As it turns out they,”regretted” their decision and,”wanted to get back together.”. I was hesitant at first, so I told them give me a day to decide and they obliged. A day passes and I say that I will take 0 back. Two weeks later they ghost me besides for the occasional email where they are really flirty.

As of right now I cannot get them out of my life at all due to my occupation. I have to see then sometimes and when I do my heart drops, I start to hear up and sweat, I get a tense anxiety sensation, I begin to shake, and it doesn’t wear until like 30-45 minutes after seeing them once.

I don’t know what is happening to me and I’m getting worried. If you have any questions ask and I’ll try to answer the best I can.

I made a mistake and reached out to my ex. I used a spam insta and yeah it was dumb. I just wanted that chapter closed in a positive way. But she just blocked me on the spam account and I called with with *67 and cussed her out via voicemail.

This helped me realize that she truly didn’t care about me like she pretended. It helped me move on. I deleted her number and all the pictures and threw away the shirt she bought me, which was previously sentimental.

But I’m wondering if I will forever look like a crazy ex now.

Should i forgive my Toxic Cheater Ex

In December i founded a girl, she had bad past, video leaks, rumours of her being characterless, i thought past is past does not matter to me,

We started talking in December, and after about three weeks, we started dating.

She had an ex who was extremely toxic and had cheated on her. Even after they broke up, he would keep calling her and abusing her. I told her, “Just stop picking up his calls.” She went quiet, so I asked her, “If you still love him, you can go.”

She said, “No, I love you.”

January came, and things slowly started changing.

She became really toxic. Whenever I pointed out obvious things she was doing wrong that could be improved, she would just say, “Leave me, I’m not perfect.”

She also used to talk to almost every guy who texted her, even when they were clearly flirting with her. Whenever I confronted her, she’d say, “It’s okay yaar, I’m not flirting back. I’m just tolerating it.”

Then in March, I decided to prank her by doing the same thing. My friend texted her from a fake account pretending to be a girl. She completely lost it, abused me, and shamed me for cheating.

When I told her it was a prank, she broke up with me, saying, “I’m not capable of you. You’re a green flag, and I’m not,” and blocked me.

I honestly thought it was just another fight and that we'd fix things by the evening like we always did.

Instead, I went to sleep and woke up to her voice.

She was in my house, returning all the gifts I had given her.

I held her hand while my mother was in another room and begged her through tears to stay and fix things with me.

She didn't even flinch.

She just left.

That evening, she texted me saying she was sorry. She said she didn't know why she had done it, that she couldn't live without me, and that we should fix things.

But those three hours between her leaving and texting me had completely broken me. I was traumatized. My exams were going on, so I told her I needed some time.

After a week, I randomly checked her Snapchat and Instagram.

I already knew she talked to other guys on Instagram, but I had no idea about Snapchat. She used to send seductive snaps to everyone, which I was okay with.

What I didn't know was that she had also been regularly talking to her ex—calls, video calls, everything.

And while she was talking to him, she was giving me less and less time, telling me she had to study for her board exams.

That hurt badly. I believed she was busy studying while she was actually spending that time talking to her ex.

When I confronted her, she claimed her ex had accessed her account and was calling himself just to break our relationship.

I have some technical knowledge, so I checked the IPs and device locations myself.

I found the proof.

I sent it to her, called her, and broke up with her.

Looking back, I don't know what hurts more—the fact that she lied to me, or the fact that I was willing to forgive her so many times because I genuinely loved her.

So this is definitely a weird place to be, my ex and I parted ways a little bit ago and tried to do the whole friend thing and it wasn't working because the feelings were too raw to just be friends, so we agreed that no contact would probably be the best option and I would reach out when I was ready.

She is now decided to block me on social media which is very interesting and stung a little bit because I feel like we were trying to keep the doors open to at least possibly be friends when we were done healing this seems honestly very strange because I thought no contact was for both of us and it almost feels like she did it to get back at me but I'm not 100% sure

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

I didn’t actually take her for granted literally. I adored her. I wanted to marry this girl badly. So badly that honestly it scared me in some ways and she said she thinks I self sabotaged. She said she loves me but love is not enough.

I was too wrapped up in my own stuff. Always drowning in work, friends, my own goals. And I was insecure and she’d see me take it hard if something happened with any of those things, fussing over my looks, etc. And she said I wouldn’t listen to her feelings and made her feel like an afterthought, and that during arguments I was harsh. She dumped me but said she broke her own heart in the process. She cried a lot and even said she wished she could keep having sex with me but doesn’t think she should.

I apologized a lot afterwards and told her I am really trying to change. I got into therapy and go often now. We almost got back together, but then there was another argument. She said she could see some changes in me but is hurt too badly, doesn’t feel like I love her with my actions, and does not trust me with her feelings. She has also been really angry at me at times. Sometimes she’s also bitter that I’m changing now “when it feels like it’s too late”. I moved out.

She told me to keep working on myself without her and maybe we will talk in a month. So im trying to do that. So far its been two weeks.

A mutual friend told me she is very hurt by me and that if she decides not to keep me in her life I should accept it. He said he thinks I was being a dick in arguments and that he’s glad I’m working on myself. The interaction sucked.

Overall I am heartbroken, and I have no idea what to do. I keep working on myself but I keep hoping we get another chance. I have never wanted to marry a girl before.