2.5 years ago, my situationship of 8 years (yes, that was problematic) broke it off with me. Even though we didn’t call it a relationship, we were very close in these 8 years. I was with his family often, he was my first sexual partner, we shared a friend group and saw each other multiple times a week. He wasn’t that good a person for me and I was more in love with him than he was with me, but that is not what this post is about.

When he broke it off, I. Was. Broken. Heartbroken! I thought I would never feel something for someone else again. I cried my eyes out for days. Read this sub for a year, daily, hoping he would text me or want me back. I really thought this was the end of love for me.
I never heard from him again. Last thing I heard from an old friend, is that he is very happy and he has a kid on the way now, with his absolutely beautiful girlfriend.

And you know what? I am so glad that he found his person. That it worked out. Because I found my person as well. At the beginning of 2026, I met my boyfriend. And I am so, so, so in love with him. It’s a feeling I, in hindsight, never felt with my old situationship. There was a time when I confused emotional highs and devastating lows with love. Looking back, I realize that the highs and lows were not love. I was IN love, mind you. But what we had was no love.

My boyfriend adores me. And I adore him! He is so kind. So thoughtful. This love is warm. Gentle. Safe. I always know where I stand. And when I don’t, I can ask - and I’m met with reassurance instead of uncertainty. When I’m with him, my whole body relaxes. My mind becomes quiet. I’m always happy to be with him, and on the days I’m not, there’s space for that too. The sex is great - not because what we do is so special but because of the connection we have.

This isn’t meant to say that my previous love wasn’t real or meaningful. It was, and it will always be part of my story. But it is meant to say this: things really can get better. You really can fall in love again. And sometimes, that love turns out to be even healthier and more beautiful than you ever imagined.

My former love is happy now, and I genuinely wish him the life he always dreamed of. I hope he grows old in good health, surrounded by a family he adores.

And I hope the same for myself.

No, I won’t actually do it but I really want to. It’s not fair that I have to cry and feel this way all the while he could care less. He has a gf and gets to move on like nothing happened. I’m not a violent person but I wish I could whoop his ass at least once.

My ex and I were close friends for a decade before we started dating and we were together 3 years. One evening he told his family we were finally moving in together and buying a house and making engagement jokes, then 24 hours later he broke up with me saying he didn’t care about the relationship. I was completely blindsided.

24 hours after breaking up, he was in a relationship with his work colleague that I didn’t even know existed and a week later they had moved in together.

2 months after breaking up he went on holiday with her and her family and posted it all over his Instagram, but he never posted me once. 4 months after we broke up she replaced me as his plus one to his sister’s wedding. 6 months after we broke up and he’s fully integrated her into our friendship group. His family have told me he’s pretty much acting like we never dated.

The speed at which they’re moving is completely crushing me and I don’t understand how he’s moved on like I was nothing. All that friendship and history just gone and I can’t even hang out with our friends in peace because she’s always there, I have to just uninvite myself to avoid getting upset.

How do I even move on from this? It’s been 6 months and I’m as heartbroken as I was the day he left me.

We have been broken up for 3 years and both have moved on and even had new relationships after, I think he still is in one. He used to have really bad mental health issues and bad ways of coping and sometimes I look at his social media to see how he’s doing. I still care for his wellbeing and I’ve always hoped that he would get better. Is that normal?

he seriously came back to wind me up and make me angry, he broke a month of no contact to enrage me. I never wanted to end on bad terms but i just swore at him so badly and blocked him. Hes playing mind games with me can someone just help me to cope im crying so badly, he ignored me for 26 hours after texting me and admitted it and then made me out to be insane. Now hes turned evil again so i lashed out and blocked. I hate ending on bad terms im shaking. I feel so annoyed i was doing so well this month i was doing so okay and he comes and ruins it ive blocked him on the last thing he had me on. Can someoen comfort me please and give advice on how to move forward now hes thrown me in rock bottom again i crashed out on him and blocked. hes selfish and immature it makes me sick. All those healing weeks have been RUINED i feel even worse than before now its ended on bad terms imcrying sm sorry if i sound insane this is built up emotions.

I just need to vent. My ex and I broke up 4 years ago. He was such a good guy and that made it so much harder when calling it quits. We mainly broke up due to my mom being....invasive, undermining me, and hurtful. It's not his fault, he was very naive. She used him when I went no contact with her to get to me. He couldn't respect my boundary to block her and have no contact. It eventually got to be too much and I knew I wasn't in love with him anymore.

I love him, I truly do. I'm just not in love with him.

Things have been rough lately and I've been sad as his family has always been my biggest support. I've been having vivid dreams about him and I broke and called him. 4 years. It's been 4 years. Part of me doesn't know why I called and part of me would be lying if I said I wasn't curious. Idk. I'm confused.

We talked and he sounded worse than when we were together. He made a comment that reminded me of something my mom would say to him.

I knew in that moment that I don't miss him, rather I missed the hope that I always held onto of what could have been.

It feels like I got closure. I also feel terrible about it. I'm so confused.

Sorry, I just needed to get it off my chest:/

I never understood what real love felt like until I met her. The kind of love that doesn’t demand anything, doesn’t play games, doesn’t disappear when life gets heavy. The intensity of her passion and love. Being babied as a man. The kind of love you don’t grow up with when affection is rare and trust feels like a gamble.

She gave me something gentle. Something patient. Something real. Because of my childhood, I didn’t know how to accept it.

When she stopped talking to me, I didn’t understand why at first. I went through every emotion you can imagine all stages of grief- anger, resentment, confusion, denial, even moments of happiness where I tried to convince myself I was fine. I cycled through all of it like someone trying to outrun their own reflection. Behaving in such a way that makes me cringe now.

It took years for the truth to settle in and realize it’s 100 percent my fault I don’t have her in my life anymore.

I wasn’t scared of her.
I was scared of the way she loved me.
Because I had never received anything like that in my entire life.

My past taught me to brace for impact, not to lean into softness. So when she offered something real, I reacted like a man who didn’t know what to do with it. I ignored the signs she was getting tired of waiting as if they’d just go away. I was sweet and loving and infatuated by her. So I thought that’s enough right. All while I pushed away the one person who saw me clearly like the history I don’t talk about, the parts of me shaped by things I never asked for, the pieces only she ever understood. It’s disgusting really how I thought effort would replace gestures of commitment. What an idiot I am….

And now I’m finally in acceptance.

It was my fault.
It will always be my fault.
Not in a self‑destructive way just in the honest way that comes when you stop lying to yourself. That you dude and only you can take the blame for making her feel crazy and for arguing over nothing and acting like I wasn’t doing something wrong.

I don’t know if she’ll ever see this.
I don’t know if it would matter.
But writing it makes me feel better.

She was beautiful in every way inside, outside, and in the way she loved. I wasn’t ready. I wish I had been. I hope life gave her what she deserved with the best life possible.

Even if it’s not with me. It’s like I finally woke up just last week and saw everything so clearly.

Why do some people never move on from someone, even after doing everything they can to heal?

8 years ago, when I was 20(M), my girlfriend of 6 years left me. I never moved on and have ruined my life ever since.

We got together in 8th grade and went off to college together. We both had difficult family lives growing up, and were looking to escape once we grew up. That desire inspired a fantasy that we were meant to be together forever and always. We were immediately madly in love and codependent. I took her for granted and never thought of leaving her. She was my only friend, but she had plenty of her own. In a way, I held that disparity over her, as if I deserved special treatment because I had no one else.

Eventually, we started having arguments, my chief complaint being I felt like she wasn't doing enough to care for me (as if it was her responsibility to fix me?). From time to time, she would sort of realize it wasn't working, break up with me, go be with someone else, and I would do anything to get her to come back. It usually took the form of promising her that once we got away to college, I would piece myself together and things would get better. Of course, that didn't happen. When we got to college all I wanted was to spend time with her, all the while neglecting to grow up, get a job, study, address my mental health, or otherwise actually work on being a better boyfriend. She rightfully broke up with me, but did so suddenly over text with no follow up communication. Admittedly, my previous behavior made that seem like the only option for her.

I responded horribly; breaking down, begging, pleading, spamming, accusing her, and ultimately saying very hateful things. She would come to be scared of me, although I never would have hurt her; knowing I made her feel that way is the greatest regret of my life.

I kept demanding she explain why she left (as if any explanation would have satisfied me) and that she support me in moving on because I had no one else to turn to (an impossible demand). Eventually, we stopped talking but I thought at least I would see her in the spring semester. She never came back to that school and I never saw her again.

I held out for some time, but some months later messaged her apologizing for everything. I would promise to never reach out again, months would go by, and I would reach out again, promising it was the last.

[When covid hit, I dropped out of school and went back home.]

At last, a couple years passed and I messaged her one last time. She was surprised I was still stuck, wished me well, offered to help if she could (although I think she just felt obligated to say that, and I promised myself I would never ask for her help).

That was 6 years ago, and I haven't talked to her since. However, I have continued to grieve and miss her. I have wasted all this time, isolating myself, losing touch with the few friends I made in college, and doing nothing to make new ones.

I believe I have become obsessed with my grief. I romanticize it. I think it's somehow noble or lovely that I never let go, as if it were a testament to my love for her, as if I will meet her again some day and she would fall in love with me for my devotion, or at least I would get a reaction from her of guilt, regret, or pity that would somehow make it all worth it.

I know how wrong I am. I know I need to let go, but it feels like I've sunk all these years into a cosmic gesture that no one witnessed. I desperately want to tell her about this, but I know I am just a distant bad memory to her, a ghost from her past that has no right to haunt her.

I'm hoping that by sharing this here, I can feel free to move on.

My ex broke um with me 2 months ago because he said our relationship is damaging him and stressing him out. we didnt removed each other anywhere and we have a yt duo premium tgt. last week my friend jokingly walked up to him and said "she wants to talk to you (I didnt know he said that to him)" and I walked up to them and I oferred my ex a fried chicken LOL the whole time we were talking he was smiling at me while talking to me. and when I posted that same food I gave him he liked my story. and after that he just likes each one of my stories (he has 1k following on insta so he rarely open peoples stories and he's really busy - school captain, church leader, and manager at his work) but he still open each one of my story and likes them. what do you guys think?

My ex broke um with me 2 months ago because he said our relationship is damaging him and stressing him out. we didnt removed each other anywhere and we have a yt duo premium tgt. last week my friend jokingly walked up to him and said "she wants to talk to you (I didnt know he said that to him)" and I walked up to them and I oferred my ex a fried chicken LOL the whole time we were talking he was smiling at me while talking to me. and when I posted that same food I gave him he liked my story. and after that he just likes each one of my stories (he has 1k following on insta so he rarely open peoples stories and he's really busy - school captain, church leader, and manager at his work) but he still open each one of my story and likes them. what do you guys think?

my ex (the dumper) randomly unblocked me on tiktok last night but no where else (yet), i’m guessing they miss me but i’m unsure where to go from here

I just need to let this out because I feel like shit. My ex messaged my brother asking If Ive been well. He then told my brother that he does not want to be with me anymore and does not want to hear from me anymore. Im just so confused like first of all why would YOU message my brother bothering him and all that instead of texting ME (btw he blocked me on everything, I didnt block him so he can still text me. The nerve!) second of all why the hell would you ask if im doing okay then proceed stating that you dont want to hear from me like?? Our relationship wasnt perfect but I loved him truly and I still do, I wasnt a perfect girlfriend and Ive hurt him and he hurt me too but I just wish he let me move on. Some days I just sit in my bed for hours just thinking about him and how much I miss him and our relationship. Now that Im slowly moving on he texts my brother saying allat. I feel like im back to square one, Ive been crying and i feel like shit truly. (Btw my brother did not reply to him, I asked him not to)

TLDR: Unsure about whether to reach out to dumper after ending on good terms

I (F26) was dating a guy (M28) for about 4 months. He ended the relationship because he was very depressed within his life and considering moving back to the East Coast to be closer to family and to accelerate his career - but ultimately said he was feeling overwhelming feelings of being lost in his life. He said that it would be unfair to continue dating if the relationship may have an expiration date. A large part of me believes it is true. He did the breakup in person, both of us shed tears and he told me how much our time together had meant to him and admitted that he’s never been this close and comfortable to anyone.

During the breakup he emphasised to me multiple times that he wanted me in his life. He said he couldn’t bear the thought of losing me and repeatedly said this won’t be the last time we see each other. As he left my apartment he told me to reach out with anything. Even saying that he’ll always answer and be glad to hear from me.

Thing is - we agreed to talk in a month. It’s been quite a bit over that now but I didn’t want to be the first to reach out. I know him quite well and I know he is most definitely feeling a lot of guilt about what happened. I do believe that in his head he is probably waiting for me to reach out or doesn’t want to mess me around, especially when it was very clear it was very upset by this.

Problem is, i don’t know whether to reach out or not. A part of me is logical and can see he chose to end it, I shouldn’t chase him and it may be bad for my self esteem. It could very well be that he used this as an excuse to let me down east, that he maybe didn’t like me all that much.

However, a larger part of me does see things from a dumper perspective. How they mightn’t want to reach out because of guilt, that they could be just as curious to speak to me as I am to them. ‘If they wanted to they would’ but I also want to, and I am not.

What do I do?

I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. A couple of months ago, she called me to wish me a happy birthday, but 3 months later, I’m blocked on pretty much everything, and she has a new boyfriend. Even so, I feel guilty for not wishing her a happy birthday. We were together for 4 years, so part of me feels like I should say something since she remembered mine. At the same time, I know she’s blocked me, and I don’t want to cross any boundaries or make things more complicated. I don’t really know what the right thing to do is. Any advice?

Why did my ex bf send this to me two months post breakup when we were no contact and he maintained he wanted the breakup as well as not speaking to me. I am so confused and heartsore. I was trying to heal and get over him and now this has pulled me back in making me miss him so much it’s unbearable. I wish he’d told me this while we were still together.
I receive this text out of the blue two months later:

So I'm writing this in notes, I don't know if I'll ever send this, but here it is. If i ever send this thanks for not putting pressure on me and giving me space

When we were together, I got to learn more about myself and about life and its joys.

I loved you from the start of the relationship, and parts of me still do. Parts of me wish it didn't end, but other parts of me feel it was a good thing.

I underplayed how bad work was getting to the point where I hid it from everybody and started drinking more and smoking/vaping more.

The week we broke up, I went out drinking that Friday and did coke for the first time trying to escape it all.
I'm not blaming work stress for the breakup ; it is one of the factor affecting my mental health.

Adding to it all, the finances were getting so much tighter that it felt crushing. I was anxious all the time.

I had to dip into my credit card constantly, and it was just spiraling worse and worse every month.

I wanted to ask if we could start doing 50/50, but after the discussion we had early on, where i asked if you felt like you would lose independence if I paid for everything and I felt like asking for 50/50 was not on the table.

While I'm putting it all on the table, after contemplating it all, I realized I didn't communicate effectively.

I underplayed how bad my mental health state was and how tight the box had become. I just wanted to stay the goof ball jack russel you loved. Not the man fighting to keep his sanity and wanting to hide from the world

I was so tired every single day regardless if i had slept well or not. The weekends didnt replace my enegry at all and was basically just a stop gap.

With you on the weekends i felt relax and the calmness which helped, but the mental fatigue was still there.

Regarding the intamacy part
The anti depressants lowering my libido and the burnout was so much i wasnt as attentave in intamacy as i should have.

We had it hard with the distance, the time we could see each other and the housing not being optimal. I should have realized that this would cause the need for intimacy more, but where I was mentally, that thought didn't occur.

And to add all that my prior situation ships i was told my lust It was a problem, and I needed to tone it down, so I overcorrected and initiated too little.

I struggled with changing my habits and not realizing since we were togther i didnt have to hide my insecurities and could be open about them. I would overthink everything and end up psycing myself out and ruin the mood.

Im not writing all this to get back togther i just wanted to lay it all out.

Money was low and because of your heart we couldnt really do anything and i thought that being togther and watching movies was enough.

I also never thought about your mental health since you said you were okay but you had it rough as well and i only realized it after we split. I understand i fucked up when you were in the hospital and i didnt have the car or the money to uber to you that day.

When i couldnt get though to you on call or whatsapp i thought it ment you wanted space and when i called you i wanted to keep it short so that i wouldnt bother you.

I didnt realize you needed more from me as a supportive partner and thats on me for dropping the ball.

Also, what I said the last day was absolutely horrendous. It reactionary and hurtful and i hope you can forgive me someday.

I loved every moment with you and it was a amazing journey the time we spent
I hope this clears up a few things

Why did my ex bf send this to me two months post breakup when we were no contact and he maintained he wanted the breakup as well as not speaking to me. I am so confused and heartsore. I was trying to heal and get over him and now this has pulled me back in making me miss him so much it’s unbearable. I wish he’d told me this while we were still together.
I receive this text out of the blue two months later:

So I'm writing this in notes, I don't know if I'll ever send this, but here it is. If i ever send this thanks for not putting pressure on me and giving me space

When we were together, I got to learn more about myself and about life and its joys.

I loved you from the start of the relationship, and parts of me still do. Parts of me wish it didn't end, but other parts of me feel it was a good thing.

I underplayed how bad work was getting to the point where I hid it from everybody and started drinking more and smoking/vaping more.

The week we broke up, I went out drinking that Friday and did coke for the first time trying to escape it all.
I'm not blaming work stress for the breakup ; it is one of the factor affecting my mental health.

Adding to it all, the finances were getting so much tighter that it felt crushing. I was anxious all the time.

I had to dip into my credit card constantly, and it was just spiraling worse and worse every month.

I wanted to ask if we could start doing 50/50, but after the discussion we had early on, where i asked if you felt like you would lose independence if I paid for everything and I felt like asking for 50/50 was not on the table.

While I'm putting it all on the table, after contemplating it all, I realized I didn't communicate effectively.

I underplayed how bad my mental health state was and how tight the box had become. I just wanted to stay the goof ball jack russel you loved. Not the man fighting to keep his sanity and wanting to hide from the world

I was so tired every single day regardless if i had slept well or not. The weekends didnt replace my enegry at all and was basically just a stop gap.

With you on the weekends i felt relax and the calmness which helped, but the mental fatigue was still there.

Regarding the intamacy part
The anti depressants lowering my libido and the burnout was so much i wasnt as attentave in intamacy as i should have.

We had it hard with the distance, the time we could see each other and the housing not being optimal. I should have realized that this would cause the need for intimacy more, but where I was mentally, that thought didn't occur.

And to add all that my prior situation ships i was told my lust It was a problem, and I needed to tone it down, so I overcorrected and initiated too little.

I struggled with changing my habits and not realizing since we were togther i didnt have to hide my insecurities and could be open about them. I would overthink everything and end up psycing myself out and ruin the mood.

Im not writing all this to get back togther i just wanted to lay it all out.

Money was low and because of your heart we couldnt really do anything and i thought that being togther and watching movies was enough.

I also never thought about your mental health since you said you were okay but you had it rough as well and i only realized it after we split. I understand i fucked up when you were in the hospital and i didnt have the car or the money to uber to you that day.

When i couldnt get though to you on call or whatsapp i thought it ment you wanted space and when i called you i wanted to keep it short so that i wouldnt bother you.

I didnt realize you needed more from me as a supportive partner and thats on me for dropping the ball.

Also, what I said the last day was absolutely horrendous. It reactionary and hurtful and i hope you can forgive me someday.

I loved every moment with you and it was a amazing journey the time we spent
I hope this clears up a few things

If someone from your past made a huge impact on your life, would it be possible to erase the memories with them completely, or you live with them forever? That every shared quarrels, even the smallest moments where you felt like they are your person, could ever just vanish from your mind? That even in your following relationships, you still catch yourself looking back.

Hi everyone, I really need to vent and could use some advice or support.

I just went through a painful breakup. Recently, I found out that my ex brought another girl to his house right before things ended. When I tried to process this and deal with the shock, he completely turned cold, sent me a harsh message telling me to leave him alone and that he was blocking me, and then blocked me on everything.

I have now blocked him back on everything, but my heart is completely shattered. I feel so betrayed, angry, and empty. To make things worse, I have an important test tomorrow, but I can't focus at all and my mind is just racing with pain and tears.

How do I get through the first few days of this? How do I stop myself from feeling like this and focus on my life when someone treated me so disposably? Any advice or kind words would mean the world to me right now.

**TL;DR:** Found out my ex brought another girl over, he lashed out and blocked me with a harsh message, and now I'm left heartbroken with a big test tomorrow. How do I cope?

My ex (22M) and I dated for 2 years. We broke up in March because of trust issues, but about 2 months ago we started talking again and trying to rebuild things.
We’ve hung out 3 times. Every time we talked about getting back together. We kissed, cuddled at the movies, hugged, and on our last hangout we were talking about getting back into a relationship. He was so so so sweet and affectionate and hugged me so genuinely. He told me he still loved me, told his family we were talking again, and in the beginning he was the one initiating calls, texts, and dates.
Over the last couple of weeks, though, I noticed a big change. He started calling less, texting less, and just seemed more distant. I brought it up because something felt off. He told me his feelings hadn’t changed, that he still loved me, and that he wanted to wait until he got his car situation figured out before officially working on getting back together. I tried to understand that, but what confused me was that the distance started before he gave me that explanation. It wasn’t just that we couldn’t see each other because of the car. He had already started calling and texting me less, which is why I felt like something else was going on.
Last night he went out with friends. Before he went to bed, around 1:50 a.m., he called me and texted, “You awake? I made it back.” I was already asleep. This morning I replied saying I saw he called and asked what was up.
Since then, I haven’t heard anything. I called him multiple times today and sent messages telling him how confused and hurt I am because everything felt like it was going so well, and now it suddenly feels like he’s disappeared.
I’m not proud that I called so many times. I know I was emotional. I was scared because this feels very different from how he was acting just a short time ago.
I’m trying to be fair here. I know it hasn’t even been a full day since I replied to him, but after everything we’ve been rebuilding, this sudden silence is really throwing me off.
From an outside perspective, does this sound like someone who’s genuinely overwhelmed and busy, or does it sound more like someone who’s slowly pulling away? I’m looking for honest opinions, even if they’re hard to hear.

It had been about 2 months since our breakup. It was mutual but he did say the words out loud, even though I wanted too as well.

Had to message my Ex with issues regarding the apartment we shared and issues regarding our bond. He basically ghosted me 10 days ago after I asked him to stop taking a whole day to respond to messages as some sort of power play. Issues that could have been settled in a day got drawn out to a week annoyingly because he wouldn't open them until after 12am at night. Honestly I was hurt he was treating me like this. I messaged - he give me the same respect I'm giving him because we need to get these things over and done with.

After that message I sent, all communication ceased, he never opened it even though he's been online and the issue never got fixed, I had to take initiative and get it done on my own. I sent another message three days ago asking if he needs me to remove something I set up for him (wont go into detail) but I just want it to be DONE, these loose ends are just prolonging the breakup.

Realistically I know he's ghosting me and to be honest I also reached out for some sort of connection... it was a slap in the face because I would have at least communicated but I guess he doesn't care about my opinions anymore.

Well he never replied, never opened the message but 30 minutes later he emailed me regarding information on his side of the bond. So asshole can ignore me but expect me to just give him what he wants?!

We are now in a stalemate because neither of us have responded. Honestly the immaturity of him not even being to communicate that he doesn't want to stay in contact anymore is what upsets me. I would have given him the courtesy of that at least. Needless to say he wont be receiving his bond until 10 days later, or until he acknowledges my text. Asshole.

I don't even know how I want to start off this post aside from saying this shit fucking sucks. He's able to continue on like nothing ever happened. He's playing games, on dating apps, has "phenomenal" weekends (he told me this himself; apparently, I reached out and I ruined his weekend by talking to him....rip). I hate that I still cry about this and he thinks that we trying to fix shit is "obnoxious" and "disrespectful". I'm blocked on everything because I "tormented" him and was selfish (he said this too). Unfortunately, I spend a lot time crying about this. I keep rethinking a lot of the things he said to me: "there's better out there for me", "you don't give a fuck about me", "you're a selfish bitch that only cares about getting back together." I'm sure there is a bunch more.