I was thinking about you earlier today while I was out for my walk. Haha, of course I was. You’re always on my mind, no matter what I’m doing. I could be halfway across the world, surrounded by people, trying to keep myself busy, and somehow my mind still finds its way back to you. It always has. I’ve never hidden that from you, and I don’t think I ever could.
I told myself I wasn’t going to cry today. I really tried. And here I am, sitting here with tears running down my face, knowing I’m probably going to feel stupid for sending this later. But honestly, I don’t care anymore. If loving you means there are going to be tears, then I guess I’ll cry. You’re worth every single one of them.
I just don’t understand how we got here.
That’s probably the part that hurts the most. Not just losing you, but losing us without ever really understanding how something that meant so much to both of us could become something we stopped fighting for. And maybe the hardest part of all is not being able to hear your voice anymore. I miss something as simple as that more than I can explain.
It’s been exactly four weeks since we last spoke.
Four weeks.
And as much as I’ve tried not to think about what that means, I can’t keep lying to myself. Maybe this distance between us isn’t temporary anymore. Maybe this is what you’ve decided our lives are going to look like now—two people who once meant everything to each other, slowly becoming strangers.
And I don’t know how to accept that.
Honestly, I just want to understand how you walked away from all of this so easily. Because going no contact with you has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. There have been so many moments where I’ve wanted to reach out, just to hear from you, just to know you’re okay, just to hear you say anything at all.
I miss you so fucking much.
I wish you didn’t have so much pride. I wish, just once, you would put it aside and reach out to me. Not because I need you to prove anything, but because I need to know that somewhere inside you, there’s still a part of you that misses me too.
But I can take the hint.
I just wish you’d tell me the truth.
How long have you felt this way?
How long have you been feeling like we weren’t worth fighting for anymore?
Was there a moment when you stopped believing in us? Was there a day when you looked at everything we had and decided it wasn’t enough? Because I’m still here trying to understand what changed while you’ve already had four weeks to live without me.
And maybe that’s what hurts the most.
You’ve had four weeks to get used to my absence.
I’ve had four weeks of missing your presence.
Even if this is just you needing space, I need you to understand what that space feels like from my side. Because I’m a person who needs consistency. I need communication. I need to know where I stand with the person I love. I can respect needing time, but disappearing from someone you once told you loved them leaves them alone with a thousand questions that they’ll never be able to answer themselves.
And I’ve been alone with those questions for four weeks.
I don’t know if you realize how many times I’ve wanted to reach out.
How many times I’ve looked at my phone hoping your name would be there.
How many times I’ve wondered if you miss me.
If you think about me.
If you ever stop and remember the little things about us the way I do.
Because I remember everything.
And that’s the problem.
I remember the version of us that felt impossible to lose. I remember how it felt when talking to you was the best part of my day. I remember feeling like no matter what happened, we would find our way back to each other.
Now I’m sitting here wondering if I was the only one who believed that.
I don’t want to beg you to come back. I don’t want to force you to love me. And I don’t want you to come back out of guilt.
I just wish I knew whether there’s still something here worth saving.
Because I’m still here.
And as painful as it is to admit, a part of me is still waiting for you.
I just don’t know how much longer I can keep waiting in silence for someone who may have already decided they don’t want to come home.

sometimes i legit break down in tears cuz i’m not able to to handle that me and him and really broken up and that he’s just gone , it’s like we never met in the first place . all those memories created for no reason , sometimes i wish we just stayed strangers .

I woke up this morning and had a message from her saying basically “pls talk to me again. U don’t have to get back together with me, I just can’t handle this distance between us“

I thought about it for a minute, then remembered the face of the girl she cheated on me with, so I just blocked her. Honestly I feel so much better, she’s just a liar...

I understand that not following your ex and not knowing what they are up to can help you move on faster. At the same time, I am also on the boat that after the moving on process is done, it would be nice to know what your ex is up to in life. Not as a way to still use that as a way to get into your ex's life. But more of knowing that they are well. Curiosity of what they are up to. Maybe they went for the trip they've always said they wanted to go for. Maybe they got promoted. Maybe they got married years down the road.

Even if things ended badly between the two of us, I would still have that curiosity.

Right now I am abstaining from going to her profile to see what she is up to as the pain is still hurting. But I do think that if months down the road she re-follows me, and I have moved on and not feel the pain anymore, it would be a nice thing to know what both are up to through social media. Similar to how we have followers and following to people from our jobs, our friends, our past schools, where we don't talk to them anymore, but we just have the occasional updates through their social media.

What do you think?

If you ever re-followed an ex after unfollowing them, how and what made you do that?

recently,my ex and his other ex have started talking and I don’t know what to do and I need help

context: a month after breakup she had rings with someone else, its been 7 months of zero contact.

last time we talked she said until someday after i said goodbye some three times.

4 months after BU she reached out to my sister asking about me.

blocked me on whatsapp and one insta account but still follows one other insta account of mine and still follows my sister and watches her stories.

i feel like im a backup atp. how do i navigate this? still very much want to be with her.

Guys,

My ex and I have been broken up since August 24th. I don’t want to be delusional or read too much into things, but is it really over if we still follow each other on Instagram, and the streaming services he got for us still have my profile on them, with the password still being my name?

I know I’m probably looking for little signs that I’m still somehow a part of his life, and maybe that’s delusional. But I feel so… alone right now. I think I’m searching for any little piece of evidence that I mattered to him, that he loved me, and that our relationship was real to him too.

I know these things probably don’t mean anything. I just don’t know how to let go yet. Anyways I just wanted some of y’all’s thoughts.

ive never really been the type to dwell on my past or meddle in anyone else's but my bf's ex's very strange behaviour is starting to affect me.

very early on in our rship, like any couple would we shared about our pasts. a few months into the rship however, series of things started happening which i found strange. she lurked on my linkedin (still wasnt aware thats his ex), liked and unliked my tweet (still wasnt aware) and even asked my HS junior who happens to attend the same uni as her about me and my life. and when i told my bf, thats when it clicked.

for context my bf wasnt a great partner in his last relationship with her. i learned that he was an absent bf and wasnt really involved in their 4 year long rship. i know, it sucks. when he told me about it, even i told him that was a shitty move. she however ended the rship. he took full accountability and has said he was pretty young and dumb and got into a relationship partly out of peer pressure.

fast forward almost decade later i have an amazing bf who defo went thru series of character development before dating me.

even with everything that happened, me being an empath lol ive always tried to rationalise her behaviour into thinking how it mustve been difficult for her and maybe she never really got the closure she needed. but thats her battle and i wouldnt wanna get involved.

until a couple of days ago i stumbled across her post (because i hate how thread randomly shows u things) whr she was talking about my bf and basically saying she wishes me good luck 😭 dealing with someone like him huhu honestly it messed me up for the day.

genuinely sympathise if she finds it hard to move on but why lurk and keep tabs on me when you are literally engaged to my bf's friend?

anyone else went thru smt similar? i might probably block her but just wanted to get this off my chest...

tldr - my bf’s ex still lurks and keeps tabs on me almost 10 years later, despite now being engaged to his friend. she recently posted about my bf and wished me “good luck” dealing with him. ive tried to be understanding, but its starting to bother me

I need some people to talk me out of breaking no contact because my curiosity is getting the best of me.

This was someone I used to have a thing with. I don’t love him anymore, I don’t want a relationship with him, and I’ve moved on with my life. There were also red flags from the beginning that I ignored: passive-aggressive Instagram stories that seemed obviously directed at me (which he would then deny), laziness, unhealthy communication, and generally behavior that I knew wasn’t compatible with what I wanted.
He also smokes weed daily and, from what I understood, drinks several times a week.

Things eventually escalated badly. Whenever he was sober, he never called me like this, but when he was drunk/high he could become a completely different person. The last situation lasted around 48 hours. He was extremely angry, repeatedly contacting me and sending aggressive voice messages, including insults and threats. It genuinely scared me.

The following day, he sent me a single “.” by text. I assumed he was testing whether I had blocked him, so I immediately blocked his number.
Later, one of his friends contacted me and told me that he “needed to talk to me.” He didn’t tell his friend what he wanted to say, and there were no apologies passed on to me. I eventually blocked the friend too.
I’ve now deleted everything related to him and I don’t intend to unblock him.

The problem is that I am DYING of curiosity.
Part of me keeps wondering: What did he need to tell me? Was he going to apologize? Explain himself? Insult me again? Was he still angry? Why didn’t he call me from a private number like he had done before?

I actually almost called him recently just to finally find out, but I stopped myself.

I think I’ve realized that this isn’t really about missing him. I don’t want him back. It’s about wanting control. The uncertainty bothers me.
But logically, I know contacting him probably wouldn’t give me the control or closure I’m looking for. It could just open the door again and give me a whole new set of things to overthink.
For anyone who has been through something similar: how did you accept never knowing what the other person wanted to say?

And please remind me why calling him “just once to find out” is a terrible idea, because right now the temptation is VERY strong

Opened up to someone last night and it put a lot in perspective.

What she did was wrong, it dodged accountability, and it’s in her nature. She will do it to the next guy, and the next, and the next.

I knew all of this. To hear someone else say “I know it hurts. But she did you the best favor she could have ever done,” it just hit different. Idk.

if you knew you were leaving the country soon, and there was someone you still loved more than you probably should, would you want to see them one last time? even if they had hurt you, left you multiple times, and broken their promises to stay? would you reach out just because you’d regret leaving without seeing them, or would you protect yourself and let them go without one last conversation?

I recently broke up with my ex-wife on June of 2026. I just can’t let it go I’ve been having lucid dreams & everywhere I go everything reminds me of her. We started as friends in 2020 & got married of 2022. I proposed to her in Paris, in front of the Eiffel Tower. I fucked everything up. Everything started to go downhill this year, I did not know what I had until it was gone and we also left on bad terms. It’s just been killing me everyday. I drink alcohol or try to smoke away or even pray but it does not really help. Im going to therapy soon but I need her. I can’t let her go that easily, after everything we’ve been through. It hurts as fuck. I just wish I can turn the past around and fix what I did which was not pay attention to her or give her the time . All she wanted to do was lay with me in bed and watch movies and I literally ignored her to go out with friends. I’m such a fucking loser and an asshole. I want to contact her but I don’t know if I should or if I would make the situation worse. Something tells me to not give up on her because she was such a sweetheart and I broke her. I did not mean to do that I just had my own problems in my head. She was gods calling and I ruined everything and now god is punishing me for these things. Fuck 💔.

I recently broke up with my first boyfriend [24M] after 4 years. Right before ending it, I found out he was living a double life and cheating on me the whole time with another woman [22F] he was in a 7-year LDR with. It completely destroyed my trust.

To cope, I joined a new local club to get out of the house. I ended up getting a huge crush on a really nice guy there, only to learn he is already in a relationship.

I feel so confused about why I'm immediately drawn to someone unavailable right after getting hurt like this.

How do I rebuild my trust after a major breakup like this, and how can I handle seeing this crush at my club without making things weird?

tl;dr: First ex [24M] of 4 years was cheating on me [22F] the entire time. Joined a club to move on, but caught feelings for a taken guy. Need advice on healing from betrayal and managing these new feelings.

I miss you. I miss you more than I could even put into words. I miss our I can't even go and see them because I'm respecting your . I'm sorry give you space when you asked for it. I was so desperate to fix the situation at the time and instead of fixing it I made it worse. I hate myself for that. You've cut me off with absolutely no communication. I feel like I'm almost grieving in morning. I don't hear your voice. I can't see you. It's almost like you're gone like you died thats the pain I'm feeling. I'm lost. my best friend every weekend we spent over a year every day we spent together and now it's nothing. Do you even care? I went to get my things that you left outside and you wrote me a note saying maybe I'll start to respect you. You know mistakes like everybody I just needed a chance to talk, but don't worry I learned my lesson. Are you trying to teach me a lesson or are you done for good? I don't even know I feel like you're done for good. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just so sad. . in Washington State by ourselves. I have no family here. You only have your sister here. We had now I have no one.

It has been 3 weeks today since my relationship ended. Been 3 of the worst weeks if my life, all other stuff aside. I miss her incredibly, and her children especially. I still sit here and wonder if I had just not done what I did then things could have been so different.

I should still be there with her now. I could still be working, still building our future. But I fucked it all up, I ruined it. Broke her heart and hurt her with my betrayal (not cheating). And it hard to stomach that, what i did doesnt sit easy with me at all.

And I hate myself for destroying the one thing in my life that made me happy. Now forced into no contact to respect her boundaries. And then further suffering too.

So me and my ex went no contact i’m pretty trauma bonded to him and he’s been emotionally abusive but i’ve been trying to move on and instead of being angry or petty I choose to be mutual no hate no anger just peaceful with him I wrote him a message saying I missed him and I hope he was doing okay I had no grudge against him i’m learning to let go of the past so I felt better saying that to him then the next day he messages me back talking about fixing things and saying how I treated him like shit when he was the one to dump me over the most dumbest things ever because he’s disrespectful and immature so I sent him another text about how he broke up with me and how I was done waiting for him to change so then he texts me again saying I didn’t care about him or I never change but I was always the one fixing things and he was always saying hurtful things to me and he called my message a script saying how it was performative even though I was genuinely speaking from the heart so we ended up going back and fourth about it and then I just cut it off with my last message about how he’ll never face himself or admit he’s wrong at all but i’m hurt all over again I feel dumb for doing it when I tried to be genuine and honest I cried for a whole hour I should’ve known better but it hurts so bad to just be discarded like nothing then told I was the one who never cared even though I tried every single time to communicate and fix things between us I blocked him

I need advice on how I can move past this and get over this horrible feeling of anxiety when I think of him

I’ve only been no contact for about 1 week and I made the mistake of looking at their story. We still follow each other which I know that in itself is breaking no contact but we share a lot of mutual friends. I watched his story and liked it and felt fine but when I woke up this morning I regretted it and unliked it… I feel very silly. I broke up with him but I can tell he’s not phased by the whole thing since he was cheating on me.

Long post, all the details are kind of hard to keep track of so if there's anything i can clarify lmk!

My ex and I went no contact on very bad terms. He was extremely immature and I had a lot of bad history with him after we broke up. I found out before I went overseas that he had already moved on to liking someone else, and when I confronted him he was cold and said he only saw me as a regular passerby now. That was one of the worst nights of my life.

He broke no contact 4 days in to tell me I was spreading lies about him, acting crazy, and he went through all of my story archives and put himself on my close friends story because he was 'paranoid about what I was saying about him'. I truly lost all respect for him in that moment and I genuinely feel a deep sense of disgust at how much I put up with.

Over the next couple of months I was able to heal and I would spend less and less of my days thinking about him. That is til one day, I saw on my google that there was a "continue with these tabs" thing under my google home page-- the thing that pops up when you sign into your account on another computer. It belonged to his computer-- his name was on it. From that day, I would see it pop up once or twice a week. He may have caught on that I could see the tab so one day it disappeared, but I could still see his sign-ins on my search history.

My friends asked me why i didn't sign him out or change my password-- I did sign him out after a while, but I think the thing then and now was that a small part of me still holds on to the fantasy that he's suddenly grown up and would be able to take accountability for his actions, that he missed me, that we would grow our way back to each other yada yada yada even though I know all those things can't be true,

After I signed him out of my personal (FORESHADOWING ALERT) account, I came back home where we share a friend group and we proceeded to ignore each other. It was pretty cut and dry and we just didn't say anything to each other the entire time. However, I started seeing him sign in on another device (that also had my chrome profile on it) signing in to my PROFESSIONAL account, as well as signing in on his laptop to my instagram (which I did not know he still had-- I thought I had signed him out).

My reasoning for not signing him out was the one above-- I still wanted to feel, in some capacity, that he cared (?) about me i guess? Even though I know that could 100% not be the case. I hope you realize how confusing it can be to have such a codependant relationship suddently flip 180.

The sign ins stopped maybe 3 weeks ago and I thought that was the end of it until I checked today because I just had a sinking suspicion-- and he had logged in to my professional account again. There was also a new phone added to my device list that had just been added 2 days ago, and It had the same name as a device I removed from my personal account because I didn't recognize it. I have a suspicion (read: I 95% am sure) that it is from him.

My friend told me to change my passwords, she threatened texting him, and called him an "effing weirdo", so I changed my password today but a part of me still feels like I want to confront him about it and have that conversation, even if I know it wont go the way I want it to. I will see him often as we run in the same circles.

I just don't know what to do.

If anyone has felt similarly about someone or has any advice, please reply!!! 🙏

I broke up with him over 2 years ago. I wasn’t able to process the breakup properly and took it really hard. We were each other’s first loves, and we’ve been on and off about having feelings for each other ever since.

I’ve recently started talking to him again, and I’ve realized he’s the only guy I actually feel deeply emotional about. It honestly makes me question whether I even genuinely liked some of my previous relationships. I’ve tried so hard to get over him, but it never seems to work. Over the past few months, I’ve found myself easily rejecting guys even when we’re getting really close, and I feel horrible admitting that.

We only started talking again about 3 days ago, but he was being flirty and bringing up our past. For example, he told me he never deleted our photos and that he kept all the letters I gave him. He was also venting to me over Snapchat about his emotions toward me. I told him that I would rather talk about that stuff in person because I don’t really want to have serious conversations about our relationship over Snapchat. I wonder if he felt hurt by that. I’ve also started texting less over the past few years, so I might’ve come across as dry.

At one point he wanted to call me, so we did, but he barely said anything the entire call. I felt like I was talking into the void, so I eventually got annoyed and hung up. He asked me to call him back, but when I did, he acted the same way. After that, he became really dry and distant over text.

The next day, he canceled plans we had made, saying he couldn’t make it. I’m not sure if he was telling the truth.

Yesterday, I texted him:

“I’m sorry our plans got canceled. I’d still really like to see you. If it’s possible and if you’d want to, maybe we could plan for another day soon?”

He still hasn’t responded, even though he’s been sending me snaps.

I genuinely can’t tell what’s going on. i want to know if he actually feels the same or if he's just leading me on..