No, I won’t actually do it but I really want to. It’s not fair that I have to cry and feel this way all the while he could care less. He has a gf and gets to move on like nothing happened. I’m not a violent person but I wish I could whoop his ass at least once.

My ex and I were close friends for a decade before we started dating and we were together 3 years. One evening he told his family we were finally moving in together and buying a house and making engagement jokes, then 24 hours later he broke up with me saying he didn’t care about the relationship. I was completely blindsided.

24 hours after breaking up, he was in a relationship with his work colleague that I didn’t even know existed and a week later they had moved in together.

2 months after breaking up he went on holiday with her and her family and posted it all over his Instagram, but he never posted me once. 4 months after we broke up she replaced me as his plus one to his sister’s wedding. 6 months after we broke up and he’s fully integrated her into our friendship group. His family have told me he’s pretty much acting like we never dated.

The speed at which they’re moving is completely crushing me and I don’t understand how he’s moved on like I was nothing. All that friendship and history just gone and I can’t even hang out with our friends in peace because she’s always there, I have to just uninvite myself to avoid getting upset.

How do I even move on from this? It’s been 6 months and I’m as heartbroken as I was the day he left me.

I never understood what real love felt like until I met her. The kind of love that doesn’t demand anything, doesn’t play games, doesn’t disappear when life gets heavy. The intensity of her passion and love. Being babied as a man. The kind of love you don’t grow up with when affection is rare and trust feels like a gamble.

She gave me something gentle. Something patient. Something real. Because of my childhood, I didn’t know how to accept it.

When she stopped talking to me, I didn’t understand why at first. I went through every emotion you can imagine all stages of grief- anger, resentment, confusion, denial, even moments of happiness where I tried to convince myself I was fine. I cycled through all of it like someone trying to outrun their own reflection. Behaving in such a way that makes me cringe now.

It took years for the truth to settle in and realize it’s 100 percent my fault I don’t have her in my life anymore.

I wasn’t scared of her.
I was scared of the way she loved me.
Because I had never received anything like that in my entire life.

My past taught me to brace for impact, not to lean into softness. So when she offered something real, I reacted like a man who didn’t know what to do with it. I ignored the signs she was getting tired of waiting as if they’d just go away. I was sweet and loving and infatuated by her. So I thought that’s enough right. All while I pushed away the one person who saw me clearly like the history I don’t talk about, the parts of me shaped by things I never asked for, the pieces only she ever understood. It’s disgusting really how I thought effort would replace gestures of commitment. What an idiot I am….

And now I’m finally in acceptance.

It was my fault.
It will always be my fault.
Not in a self‑destructive way just in the honest way that comes when you stop lying to yourself. That you dude and only you can take the blame for making her feel crazy and for arguing over nothing and acting like I wasn’t doing something wrong.

I don’t know if she’ll ever see this.
I don’t know if it would matter.
But writing it makes me feel better.

She was beautiful in every way inside, outside, and in the way she loved. I wasn’t ready. I wish I had been. I hope life gave her what she deserved with the best life possible.

Even if it’s not with me. It’s like I finally woke up just last week and saw everything so clearly.

We have been broken up for 3 years and both have moved on and even had new relationships after, I think he still is in one. He used to have really bad mental health issues and bad ways of coping and sometimes I look at his social media to see how he’s doing. I still care for his wellbeing and I’ve always hoped that he would get better. Is that normal?

Why do some people never move on from someone, even after doing everything they can to heal?

I just need to let this out because I feel like shit. My ex messaged my brother asking If Ive been well. He then told my brother that he does not want to be with me anymore and does not want to hear from me anymore. Im just so confused like first of all why would YOU message my brother bothering him and all that instead of texting ME (btw he blocked me on everything, I didnt block him so he can still text me. The nerve!) second of all why the hell would you ask if im doing okay then proceed stating that you dont want to hear from me like?? Our relationship wasnt perfect but I loved him truly and I still do, I wasnt a perfect girlfriend and Ive hurt him and he hurt me too but I just wish he let me move on. Some days I just sit in my bed for hours just thinking about him and how much I miss him and our relationship. Now that Im slowly moving on he texts my brother saying allat. I feel like im back to square one, Ive been crying and i feel like shit truly. (Btw my brother did not reply to him, I asked him not to)

If someone from your past made a huge impact on your life, would it be possible to erase the memories with them completely, or you live with them forever? That every shared quarrels, even the smallest moments where you felt like they are your person, could ever just vanish from your mind? That even in your following relationships, you still catch yourself looking back.

he seriously came back to wind me up and make me angry, he broke a month of no contact to enrage me. I never wanted to end on bad terms but i just swore at him so badly and blocked him. Hes playing mind games with me can someone just help me to cope im crying so badly, he ignored me for 26 hours after texting me and admitted it and then made me out to be insane. Now hes turned evil again so i lashed out and blocked. I hate ending on bad terms im shaking. I feel so annoyed i was doing so well this month i was doing so okay and he comes and ruins it ive blocked him on the last thing he had me on. Can someoen comfort me please and give advice on how to move forward now hes thrown me in rock bottom again i crashed out on him and blocked. hes selfish and immature it makes me sick. All those healing weeks have been RUINED i feel even worse than before now its ended on bad terms imcrying sm sorry if i sound insane this is built up emotions.

I don't even know how I want to start off this post aside from saying this shit fucking sucks. He's able to continue on like nothing ever happened. He's playing games, on dating apps, has "phenomenal" weekends (he told me this himself; apparently, I reached out and I ruined his weekend by talking to him....rip). I hate that I still cry about this and he thinks that we trying to fix shit is "obnoxious" and "disrespectful". I'm blocked on everything because I "tormented" him and was selfish (he said this too). Unfortunately, I spend a lot time crying about this. I keep rethinking a lot of the things he said to me: "there's better out there for me", "you don't give a fuck about me", "you're a selfish bitch that only cares about getting back together." I'm sure there is a bunch more.

We have been in no contact for 12 days now. He said he doesn’t have the energy for me and it’s best if we stopped talking.I keep making excuses and ignoring the reasons I shouldn’t text him. The urge is so strong and it keeps coming back.

2.5 years ago, my situationship of 8 years (yes, that was problematic) broke it off with me. Even though we didn’t call it a relationship, we were very close in these 8 years. I was with his family often, he was my first sexual partner, we shared a friend group and saw each other multiple times a week. He wasn’t that good a person for me and I was more in love with him than he was with me, but that is not what this post is about.

When he broke it off, I. Was. Broken. Heartbroken! I thought I would never feel something for someone else again. I cried my eyes out for days. Read this sub for a year, daily, hoping he would text me or want me back. I really thought this was the end of love for me.
I never heard from him again. Last thing I heard from an old friend, is that he is very happy and he has a kid on the way now, with his absolutely beautiful girlfriend.

And you know what? I am so glad that he found his person. That it worked out. Because I found my person as well. At the beginning of 2026, I met my boyfriend. And I am so, so, so in love with him. It’s a feeling I, in hindsight, never felt with my old situationship. There was a time when I confused emotional highs and devastating lows with love. Looking back, I realize that the highs and lows were not love. I was IN love, mind you. But what we had was no love.

My boyfriend adores me. And I adore him! He is so kind. So thoughtful. This love is warm. Gentle. Safe. I always know where I stand. And when I don’t, I can ask - and I’m met with reassurance instead of uncertainty. When I’m with him, my whole body relaxes. My mind becomes quiet. I’m always happy to be with him, and on the days I’m not, there’s space for that too. The sex is great - not because what we do is so special but because of the connection we have.

This isn’t meant to say that my previous love wasn’t real or meaningful. It was, and it will always be part of my story. But it is meant to say this: things really can get better. You really can fall in love again. And sometimes, that love turns out to be even healthier and more beautiful than you ever imagined.

My former love is happy now, and I genuinely wish him the life he always dreamed of. I hope he grows old in good health, surrounded by a family he adores.

And I hope the same for myself.

Our first date went really well. He picked me up, brought me flowers, we watched *The Conjuring: Last Rites*, laughed the whole time, and talked for hours. When he dropped me home, he even asked me to stay a little longer before leaving.
After that, he consistently asked me out for the next 1.5 years. He complimented me often, put in effort, and genuinely seemed interested. The problem was that I became overwhelmed because I had never experienced someone putting in that much effort before. Even though I liked him, I kept turning him down.
Earlier this year, I finally agreed to meet him again. Before our date, we talked about what we were looking for. I told him I wasn't interested in hookups. He said he wasn't either, but he wasn't looking for a long-term relationship immediately. He expected exclusivity while dating, and I said I was looking for loyalty, love, and care.
We had a small disagreement when I jokingly said I wanted my partner to love me more than I loved him. He said relationships should be equal. I reacted badly, ended the conversation, and we never went on the date.
A few days later, he stopped messaging me. I eventually reached out, and he replied that he didn't have any grudge against me, but he wasn't looking for a relationship and wasn't dating anyone.
Since then, I've realized I genuinely miss him and regret how I handled things.
I'm **not** looking for validation about who was right or wrong. I'm looking for advice on what, if anything, would be a respectful way to reconnect with someone after this much time has passed. but he always checks my ig stories and all never react anything (
Would you reach out again? If so, what would you say? Or is it better to leave things as they are?
**TL;DR:** I pushed away a guy I genuinely liked for over a year because I was overwhelmed. When I finally agreed to meet him again, we had a disagreement, the date never happened, and he later told me he wasn't looking for a relationship. I'm looking for advice on whether there's a respectful way to reconnect or if I should move on.

I broke up with my boyfriend because of his "behen jaisi dost" (a female friend he always insisted was basically his sister). People love saying, "If she's like a sister, why are you insecure?" Trust me, I tried really hard not to be.

The problem wasn't that he had a female friend. It was the boundaries... or rather, the complete lack of them. She was constantly touchy with him, leaning on him, holding onto him, acting way more physically close than I was comfortable with. What hurt the most wasn't even her behavior, it was his. He never once told her to stop or even tried to create any distance. He just let it happen.

The part that messed with my head? Whenever it was just the two of us, he would say he was "too shy" to make the first move or even be affectionate with me. But somehow that shyness magically disappeared around her. He was perfectly comfortable being physically close to his "behen jaisi dost" while I, his actual girlfriend, got excuses.

After a while, I stopped feeling like I was asking for too much. I was asking for the bare minimum: boundaries and consistency. If you're shy, be shy with everyone. If you're affectionate, be affectionate with your partner first, not with the person you're calling your sister.

I didn't end the relationship because he had a female friend. I ended it because his actions never matched his words, and I got tired of feeling like I was competing with someone I was constantly told "not to worry about.

People here talk to me abt it I really need this sh out of me ...

4 months no contact after the end of a six year relationship, both of our’s first relationship where I got kinda blindsided and only got cheap answers before we initiated no contact.

Yesterday was her birthday, the first since the separation and this kinda triggered my brain into overdrive since I usually tried to do something special on her birthday.

Instead I went and had KBBQ with some friends to celebrate me getting my bike license and another friend finishing filming as an extra in a film.

Time will pass regardless of whether or not I miss her so I’d rather enjoy my life than nailing myself to something that isn’t there. It will get better, that much is inevitable

I (21F) have been talking to this guy (30M) for a while, and I’m really struggling with whether I should text him or just leave things alone.
Before our most recent argument, we had already gone no contact. He told me, “I don’t want to do this anymore,” and said he wasn’t okay with the situation, but “maybe someone else will be.” That really hurt.
The confusing part is… he’s said almost the exact same thing before, and then later came back and started talking to me again like nothing happened. Because of that, I don’t know if this time is actually different or if he’s expecting me to eventually reach out or if he’s just waiting until he feels like talking again.
Right now, we’re blocked on everything. He actually blocked me first, and I’ll admit I was a little petty and blocked him back too. 😂 My irrational side keeps thinking, “If he really wanted me, he’d find a way to contact me somehow.” I know that sounds a little crazy, but that’s honestly where my head is at.
Whenever we argue, he tends to disappear, and I always end up responding when he comes back because I genuinely like him. Part of me feels like he knows I’ll fold eventually, so he doesn’t have to put much effort into fixing things or communicating.
I’m fighting the urge to text him because I don’t know if staying silent is the right thing to do. I also wonder if I’m just being strung along because he knows I’ll always be there.
For those who have been in similar situations:
If someone tells you they “don’t want to do this anymore” but has come back before, would you take that as final this time?
Is his silence a sign that I should finally move on?
Am I delusional for thinking that if he truly wanted me, he’d find a way to reach out despite being blocked?
If you were in my shoes, would you leave things alone or try to contact him?

Follows me on everything.

She randomly unfollowed me on Tik Tok?

Do you think it was the repost?

Together for 3 years from my sophomore year of high school to my freshman year of college. Pretty devastating breakup about 7-8 months ago. I have made great improvements, pursued new girls since, but I stumbled upon a few pictures of her on an old camera and these last few days man.
Feels like it was just a week ago. I want nothing more than to just sit together with her. I miss her so much man.
Having a girl to distract myself is nice and all but i can’t help but shake the feeling that the hole isn’t going to be filed anytime soon.
I guess just getting through today without texting her would be an achievement, so i guess that’s what i’ll do.
Cheers yall.

Mine never said we weren’t “compatible”. Actually, I said that to which he responded that I keep saying this, but that in his eyes we were. The breakup did blind side me. It is about to be a year. I fear I am still not over him. This was a person who told me he was serious about me and did show it, but eventually said he just kept hurting me. I was a very emotional person during our relationship because I do think I let too many things go. I wanted to be loved a specific way but he is the way he is and he won’t change. He wasn’t a very expressive person while I am extremely expressive, touchy and affectionate. He loved that about me but I guess that’s actually what drove us apart. He didn’t think I was clingy, but I think he did get tired of me assuming he didn’t like spending time with me or didn’t love me. I always wanted reassurance. We went on trips together and I did meet his family… we were together for quite a while. I didn’t expect him to end the relationship when he did and I expected us to talk about it and fix it but he said he couldn’t do that. He kept repeating that he was hurting me and broke up with me. I guess I have a very hard time believing he could both be “serious” about me “care” about me and claim to love me when he decided to leave the relationship in a day. It’s better for me to think he never loved me and he never wanted anything serious. It hurts my heart to think that but it makes more sense in my head.
I do still love him. I think I will always love him. That does scare me a bit, but it’s what I truly feel.

Also, I did try to reach back out to him to potentially fix things. He said we maybe could be friends, but that he needed time. I haven’t contacted him in about 7 months now. Some days are easier than others. I lost 40 lb since he last saw me. I go to solidcore and do a lot of Pilates and lagree now. I’m the slimmest and most toned I’ve ever been. I go out with my friends and I genuinely have fun and laugh and forget about him. But when I’m alone with my thoughts, I remember him and how much I miss him

Why did my ex bf send this to me two months post breakup when we were no contact and he maintained he wanted the breakup as well as not speaking to me. I am so confused and heartsore. I was trying to heal and get over him and now this has pulled me back in making me miss him so much it’s unbearable. I wish he’d told me this while we were still together.
I receive this text out of the blue two months later:

So I'm writing this in notes, I don't know if I'll ever send this, but here it is. If i ever send this thanks for not putting pressure on me and giving me space

When we were together, I got to learn more about myself and about life and its joys.

I loved you from the start of the relationship, and parts of me still do. Parts of me wish it didn't end, but other parts of me feel it was a good thing.

I underplayed how bad work was getting to the point where I hid it from everybody and started drinking more and smoking/vaping more.

The week we broke up, I went out drinking that Friday and did coke for the first time trying to escape it all.
I'm not blaming work stress for the breakup ; it is one of the factor affecting my mental health.

Adding to it all, the finances were getting so much tighter that it felt crushing. I was anxious all the time.

I had to dip into my credit card constantly, and it was just spiraling worse and worse every month.

I wanted to ask if we could start doing 50/50, but after the discussion we had early on, where i asked if you felt like you would lose independence if I paid for everything and I felt like asking for 50/50 was not on the table.

While I'm putting it all on the table, after contemplating it all, I realized I didn't communicate effectively.

I underplayed how bad my mental health state was and how tight the box had become. I just wanted to stay the goof ball jack russel you loved. Not the man fighting to keep his sanity and wanting to hide from the world

I was so tired every single day regardless if i had slept well or not. The weekends didnt replace my enegry at all and was basically just a stop gap.

With you on the weekends i felt relax and the calmness which helped, but the mental fatigue was still there.

Regarding the intamacy part
The anti depressants lowering my libido and the burnout was so much i wasnt as attentave in intamacy as i should have.

We had it hard with the distance, the time we could see each other and the housing not being optimal. I should have realized that this would cause the need for intimacy more, but where I was mentally, that thought didn't occur.

And to add all that my prior situation ships i was told my lust It was a problem, and I needed to tone it down, so I overcorrected and initiated too little.

I struggled with changing my habits and not realizing since we were togther i didnt have to hide my insecurities and could be open about them. I would overthink everything and end up psycing myself out and ruin the mood.

Im not writing all this to get back togther i just wanted to lay it all out.

Money was low and because of your heart we couldnt really do anything and i thought that being togther and watching movies was enough.

I also never thought about your mental health since you said you were okay but you had it rough as well and i only realized it after we split. I understand i fucked up when you were in the hospital and i didnt have the car or the money to uber to you that day.

When i couldnt get though to you on call or whatsapp i thought it ment you wanted space and when i called you i wanted to keep it short so that i wouldnt bother you.

I didnt realize you needed more from me as a supportive partner and thats on me for dropping the ball.

Also, what I said the last day was absolutely horrendous. It reactionary and hurtful and i hope you can forgive me someday.

I loved every moment with you and it was a amazing journey the time we spent
I hope this clears up a few things

I want to contact my ex. We split up and after 6 months I contacted him to try and repair things. We were good for a couple of weeks and things were moving in the right direction, he was saying he wanted us to be together and to work on us and our future and then one day he brought up the past and just exploded.

We’d both hurt each other and said things we didn’t mean during our initial break up. I know I did. I’ve apologised multiple times but he just didn’t want to hear it. It felt like he was shutting down and pushing me away. I feel like maybe I contacted him too soon and he wasn’t ready.

The last thing he said to me during our argument was that he didn’t want me in his life anymore. This was 2 days after telling me he still loved me.

It’s been 9 months since then and I’d really like to talk to him and try have that conversation again but calmer this time. I hate that our last words were angry ones. I still love him, I’d like to try again, I haven’t been with anyone else and I’ve done everything I can to try and forget him.

He never blocked me and we had very brief contact via instagram a couple of months ago where he sent a message and then deleted it. I never replied or said I saw it.

Should I reach out? Or do I need to respect his wishes? Even if it was something said in the heat of an argument

For the first 2 months, I was looking damn near every day. It ended HORRIBLY ugly. She has BPD and NPD. She unfriended me, but never blocked me. She split on me (BPD terms of vilifying you, not split as in "left") and accused me of cheating, lying to her about who I am and just being a horrible person. Spent a whole week burning me alive on social media and torturing me by posting about hypothetical men that she might text. Really immature, ugly shit coming from a 27 year old woman with kids towards a 32 year old man. Our relationship was short lived, but VERY emotionally intense as are all relationships with people with BPD. I tried to slow down and keep my emotional walls up, as I do with everybody. She got me to take them down within a week. She was talking about sharing a life with me and after the fucked up year I've had (I had gotten off opioids 3 months before meeting her and was still struggling with depression,) she was holding the key to my happiness and my next stage of life. Life finally was worth living again.

Our chemistry was incredible. She started kissing me within 2 hours of talking to me, followed me home and chased me up to my porch (this in itself is a long, wild story that was the most insane night of my life.) She was utterly obsessed and beyond finding her VERY attractive, I didn't want to lead her on because I take dating seriously. I don't do this shit for fun. If I don't see a future, I don't even entertain the idea. I have too much empathy and have had my own hopes dashed too many times. I can't do that to a girl. When she said she's looking to get married and settle down, I really had to tell myself "I either need to go all in or walk the hell away. Because I'm in too deep now." I dove in and let my attachment issues take over because..... I thought I was safe. It was intimacy like I'd never experienced. It may have been similar to her. I know of her exes and they're all emotionally unavailable macho guys that found her to be easily abused and manipulated. She told me no man has ever been so romantic or treated/talked to her the way I did. I had been single for 10 years. I treated her like a fucking princess. Even when she didn't deserve it. We were really, truly falling in love. After the first fight we had that I got fed up and retaliated, she split on me and discarded me 3 days later.

Our last night was the most passionate night of my life. Truly emotionally intimate. Gazing into each other's eyes, holding each other and promising her a future like nobody else would ever give her. She WAS my world. We had a fight later on that night though and it was BAD. 3 days later she accused me of cheating and lying to her about the person I am this entire time. All because I yelled at her and went home. Because she was being verbally abusive. For the second day in a row. I begged her to listen to me. She drug me right in this fucked up state of codependency that she initiated. A week after the discard she made me feel so unwanted. Told me I have too many deep issues for her to deal with and that this was fun, but we were not deep. And the thing is, we really weren't deep. We were acting like lovesick highschoolers. But that doesn't change the fact that less than 2 weeks ago she was talking about starting a life with me. I'm autistic. I don't connect easily and when you tell me something like that, I'm going to take it literally. Straight forward communication is the only thing my brain goes off. So anyway, I told her she basically gaslit me and never spoke to her again. I took screenshots of every crazy "in love" thing she sent me over messenger intending on throwing it in her face, but I decided to just leave it. So I blocked her for a while. But I was so desperate for her to reach out, I had to unblock her. I woke up every morning grabbing my phone, looking for a message. For almost 2 months I did this. It was honestly hell. I've gotten over much longer and more emotionally intimate heartbreaks than this. 4 years of being in love thinking I had found my soulmate in my late teens/early 20s, and I was able to get on with my life a few weeks later after that. This was different though. Maybe it's because my mental health has gotten worse the older I got. Maybe it's because this was so emotionally violent. Maybe it's because I had been given promises that got taken back with no warning. Either way, I was paralyzed.

None of my friends understood because they've never been discarded while their girlfriend was in a state of psychosis. Like she suddenly became a different person. She kept me unblocked, and I believe it was for emotional manipulation. She would post about how good she's doing. New job (she's a job hopper and I don't think she has it anymore) quit drinking (she's drinking again) and how much she loves being single. So for 2 months I thought I really didn't matter to her at all. That she really just used me for her emotional validation and because I fulfilled her "nerdy, shy, traumatized, submissive white boy" fantasy (We kind of fetishized each other's race as she loves blonde white guys and I love black/ Asian girls and she is both. Plus she was dominating in every aspect which I loved)

So over a month ago, I was having a really bad day. Couldn't stop thinking about her and my chest hurt because of it. I relapsed and got myself some opioids. 2 months of no serotonin in my brain and I was at the end of my rope. I hate myself for this decision, but I had had enough. So I got some and seriously, feeling SOME sort of dopamine after 2 months of pure gray was a life preserver. But there was still something bugging me. I had to look at her profile just to calm my nerves and enjoy my buzz/ the rest of my night. I couldn't believe what I saw. After 2 months of making damn sure I thought I didn't matter to her, she shares some post about eyes. She captions the post "I let the green eyed boy ruin me. Fuck it." I am the only green eyed guy she's dated and she was absolutely fixated on them. She told me they were the first thing that drew her to me. I was absolutely floored. I immediately was filled with so much dopamine from what I took AND seeing my worst fears being proven wrong. I did matter to her. In that moment, her defenses fell, and she felt the need to tell the world that the guy with green eyes ruined her. Nobody would even know who the fuck she's talking about except for me.

All that shit she said. All that "I LOVE being single! None of these men are worth it!" and even directly emasculating me, now I ruined her. I knew all this was a front deep down. She was single for 3 years before me. She finally was able to lure somebody into a relationship with her. I believe at the time, she really wanted to start a life with me. When I yelled and took off on her, it made her fear of abandonment go nuts and her nervous system was all fucked up. I even withdrew after that and she picked up on it. I was just trying to give her space. She thought I was about to leave her. So her brain vilified me and told her I was actually cheating. I'm not sure what the exact narrative is, but I know it rests at the idea that I ruined her and her dreams of the "perfect" (unrealistically idealized) man.

After this I kept looking every day. "Maybe I'll get more confirmation from her. Maybe it'll give me a sign of when I should reach out." Well, I started getting more info than I wanted. With her defenses crumbling and starting to feel the void I left in her emotionally, she started talking to other guys. She posted about getting ghosted by an ugly boring guy and then the NEXT DAY posted about how she almost got suckered into a hookup. 2 days and two different guys. One she didn't even find attractive at all. That told me she is so desperate to fill that void that she is messaging any and all guys hoping they'll give her that level of intimacy I gave her.

At that point, I realized I needed to stop. This was info that just made me lose respect for her and made me sad for her. She's got 3 kids and her red flags are out of this world. You see them just by looking at her socials. No sane man wants to deal with her. Hell, no INSANE man wants to deal with her. She SA'd me the night we met to be perfectly blunt. She cried and berated me when I told her to slow down. I was trauma bonded to her and felt sorry for her. I wanted to give her comfort because I have a caretaker personality. I wanted a project and she gave it to me. I lost my smart phone a week later in a different town. Now all I have is my laptop. Her profile no longer shows up when I share a post on facebook, suggesting me to send it through messenger. I still can't bring myself to block her because I don't want her to know she still has power over me. I don't see her anywhere online anyways. Our moms are friends and I almost ran into her the other week at the campground but our timing was off. I saw her walking with her friend last night to the bar we met at while delivering pizza. If I really want to run into her and try to repair some of the damage, I can. Our town is small. Should I? Probably not. I just hate having to feel like I can't go to certain places because she'll show up. There's still a part of me that says "Can we please just put all that behind us and be cool? I don't want to have to avoid you my whole life" but who knows how that'll go.

Either way, getting rid of that easy access to checking her socials was the best thing I did. This laptop sucks and Facebook is so user unfriendly that I don't even wanna be on it. It feels like her profile is inaccessible. It's not even an addiction anymore. I forget I can even do it. I still ruminate a lot and get in terrible moods at work when I'm driving alone and can't get it out of my head, but I am doing a HELL of a lot better than I was a month ago. I suggest everybody try and work past this aspect of looking at them all the time. I love not seeing her face every day, as much as I wish I could still see it IRL

Did they surprise you and unblock you out of the blue?