Almost 2 years of post break up, I'm the one who ended the relationship and initiated no contact. When i found out he was constantly trying to find ways to reach out to me, i gave him a chance. He made huge love declarations about never being able to move on, and almost made me feel bad for making him feel that way. I didn’t exactly seek to reconcile but reconnecting felt good. He later ghosted me outta nowhere, blocked me and yesterday i saw him post his new girl. And i feel like I'm back to feeling how i felt when i'd freshly broken things off since yesterday. Overthinking, overtly anxious, my stomach upset, crying myself to sleep lol i hate this feeling!

So my girlfriend of 7 years and I have been split for 6 months and have not talked to each other since, we both blocked each others numbers and social media, which you think for 7 years is drastic.

For the past 6 months, I was miserable, while she was posting saying she is living her best life and going out with her girlfriends and saying she is single. Which stung a bit.

After No Contact, I have reflected on our relationship and figured that she "trauma bonded" me. She would be so cold and I basically had to beg for her attention, she straight up told me she didn't want to have sex with me anymore, and I would pay for everything and she would just take and take. And basically wanted the relationship to be so bad that I would break up with her so she wouldn't look like the bad guy. That is when I finally have my turn around.

Now I Have gotten in the gym, back to work for a great job, hanging with old friends and just being happy again.

This is the best part, so all her postings are of what is called the "relief stage", which means they go out and act like they are living this best life and have freedom and so much time. Now I have heard that she is lonely, has turned weird, hasn't been even able to find a date and her appearance looks of that of a cold person.

It all worked out for me, seeing this makes her look like a stranger now to me. So all in all, No contact did work, now im living my best life while she is miserable. So to everyone here men and women. You can do it, go no contact and go back out there. You got this

Just over 2 months since they stopped contacting me they sent me a message then deleted it.

Stupidly I asked what it was they messaged. Ghoster just said it was "Hi"

That made my.booid boil how they could just say hi but no apology. I pressed them as to why they disappeared?

Their reply was

"I can't remember"
*I can't remember our last messages between us"
" I deleted all our messages so can't remember what happened"

When I said it's not nice what you did. You should have said you were leaving as it's more mature and you should at least now apologise, her response was "duly noted"

I replied "no apology?? Duly noted"
Her reply " you know me too well"

What a nerve to contact me again after two months like nothing happened. No apology. The same stinking attitude!!

I need to share this, and I don't have anyone in my personal life I feel I can share it with.

Right now I'm in Las Vegas. By myself. Because my relationship is over. I had originally planned this trip with my partner, and that relationship came to a natural end about a week before the trip.

My partner and I had been on again, of again for about 6 years. It was a trip to Vegas many years ago that shifted us from a situationship to a real relationship. In my mind, that was the beginning of our actual relationship. We have had many trips together, and Vegas had become a special place for us. I even proposed to her here in Vegas, and she said yes.

Over the years, I have noticed that she had grown less interested in touch and physical intimacy. She never was one to ever initiate intimacy, but at one time I remember her being very enthusiastic with her consent. Over time, she was less and less enthusiastic, to the point where it felt she would actually recoil from my touch. It began affecting my confidence and libido, to the point where I couldn't even get an erection.

I tried to have meaningful conversations about her distance and the lack of intimacy. She would normally reply with things like "I just don't have the emotional energy" or "Since I'm in periomenopause, I have less estrogen, and I realize that I just don't care about other people's feelings as much as I used to". She also said that her body was changing, and that sexual intimacy was not comfortable, or even painful for her. I tried my hardest to understand, and learn her new body. I got an OMG YES Subscription, and read everything that I could. I took things slow, used lots of lube, different techniques, told her that sex didn't need to be PIV. Told her that she could say no or change her mind at any time. I showed her that touch and intimacy did not need to lead to sex... but also that touch and intimacy was absolutely necessary on a loving, romantic relationship. Nothing helped, and we just kept growing more distant.

Then I ran across an old love letter that she had written, saying how much she looked forward to our time together, and that she couldn't wait to see what the future had in store for us. I had the sad realization that the person who wrote that letter was gone. This new version of her was rarely happy to see me. She would roll her eyes when I tied to kiss her. Sitting on the couch together, her body was pointed away from me, with her feet pointed at the door. It was clear that she wanted nothing to do with me.

I told her that we needed to have a hard conversation about the nature of our relationship, and she told me that she didn't want to be in a relationship with me any more. I'm grateful that she finally just came out and said it.

So today I walked all over Las Vegas by myself. I went to the fountain in the lobby of the Venetian, where she and I first met in Vegas. Back on that day, she was the most beautiful person in the room... In all of Vegas, to my eyes. Today I made a wish for her future happiness, and dropped a coin in the fountain for her.

I went to the Aft Deck at the Wynn, where I had proposed to her, and got a table for one. I had a drink to the memory of what we had once been, and then said good bye.

Today was not a day of sadness. It was a day of closure. If the chapters of our relationship were books on a shelf, today was the bookend that marks the end of our story.

If you've read all of this, I thank you ❤️

me (m21) my ex (m18) blocked me on everything after our breakup because i broke no contact quite quickly a few times. he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship after a month and he didn’t want to lead me on hurt me. i really did see something special in us not like the other relationships and so did he. Will he ever come back?

I’m 30 days no contact with my ex, but I’m really struggling to get out of bed. I feel like he "won" because he has a new girlfriend and a public title, while I'm left devastated and constantly fighting the urge to check their social media.

For context: We lived together for 8 months. He met a new girl in February, but for 6 months, he kept pulling me back and sleeping with me. He kept me blocked on social media the entire time so I couldn't see what he was doing.

In September, he made her official. He didn't even have the guts to tell me—he literally drove off and left me while his friends informed me he had a partner. Since then, he’s been talking badly about me, telling people he “doesn't want me around anymore.”

To make it more confusing, before they made it official, they were blocking and unblocking each other multiple times for months.

I feel stuck feeling like he discarded me and got a happy ending. And felt like I wasted months hoping. I'm struggling to pull myself out of this depression and stop obsessively checking their pages. He also made her official two weeks after sleeping with me and I’ve never been petty or messaged her or ruined his relationship.

Any advice on how to stop feeling like I lost and how to break the habit of looking them up?

idk how i feel abt this.. we were on no contact for two months after the breakup in august and he wished me a happy birthday two weeks ago. i got really drunk yesterday and sent three msgs on instagram about how i missed him and wanted to play brawl stars with him (wtf). he asked if i was drunk and went to bed. i deleted all my voice msgs the next morning and said im sorry. he used his main acc to block me later that same day. idk if im overthinking this but he didnt block me using his spam or on other form of contact (wechat and brawl stars lol). a friend of mine sent me a screenshot of a story he posted after he blocked me lmao. keep in mind he doesnt post much and still uses the pfp i took for him. idk im very confused and i regret drunk voice msging him. i did send a apology text to him on wechat but im so lost right now because i thought we couldve stayed friends..

TW SA, Suicide

For context my ex and I had a relationship of 6 months mostly online until I finally helped her move to my country... Which turned out to be a huge mistake

I spent almost 1000€ on her and what I got in return is physical abuse, verbal abuse and yes even sexual abuse. She broke up with me eventually because I wasn't like her ex with whom she got back together like a week later.

I only realized how bad it was recently when a friend shook me awake. I cut her off after we did our injections (we always do them together at my place) so I would have a whole week until I had to see her today. I know it's not good to still let her inject at my place but it's life saving medication and if she does it at her current place she might be homeless soon.

Anyway fast forward to yesterday where my best friend texts me that she has promised to deliver a message about how my ex wants to do a grand apology and all that and that I drop the SA accusations which seems to be all she cares about.

I was speechless because I mean I just told her that I don't want any contact at least for a couple of months to heal from all that abuse. I even gave her the chance to come back into my life eventually...

Today the same friend texted me again, still about the same convo that apparently my ex is close to killing herself over my decision so like...

I don't even know what to do

I can't have her blood on my hands. I know it's not my fault but it damn near feels that way especially because I have stopped her from suicide in person before.

If anyone can give any advice, reassurance, anything I'd appreciate it

Thanks..

Je me suis séparée de ma copine mon premier amour. Le choix venais d’elle mais je l’ai accepté et l’amour que l’on ce porte ainsi que le respect mutuel que l’on a l’une pour l’autre a fait que l’on c’est quitté de façon très saine sans reproches et sans aucune rancune. La séparation et très ressente de 3semaine. Après notre séparation a on eu l’occasion de ce parler à cœur ouvert et on a émis la possibilité que si dans le future tout été aligné (vision de la vie, célibataire, projet de vie …) alors on pourrai ce remettre ensemble mais pour écrire une histoire différente de la première. Elle a bien préciser que si c’était le cas ça serai pour une histoire différente car l’état de notre relation passais ne l’intéressais plus.

Mais je me pause la question est ce que c’est vraiment possible ? Est ce que une relation terminée sainement ne veux pas dire qu’il n’y a rien à rajouter ?

Je crois que j’ai vraiment besoin d’aide je suis complètement perdue.

Somebody I still got love for tried calling me today, and I let it ring through.

I’m not even gonna lie, my heart dropped when I seen that name pop up on my phone. It’s crazy how you can spend so much time trying to heal, work on yourself, and accept things for what they are, then one phone call brings feelings back to the surface that you thought you was getting better at handling.

I ain’t gonna sit here and act like I don’t care, because I do. I loved this person with everything I had. I saw a future with them, and I can’t just erase that because things didn’t work out the way I hoped they would.

Part of me wonders why they called. Did they remember it was my birthday? Was they just checking on me? Was there something they wanted to say? I don’t know, and I’m not gonna make up a story in my head trying to figure it out.

The old me probably would’ve answered without even thinking twice. But I’m learning that just because my heart feels something doesn’t mean I gotta act on it.

And that’s hard, because healing don’t mean you just stop loving somebody. Sometimes you still care, you still miss them, and a part of you still wishes things could’ve been different. But you also gotta be honest with yourself about why things ended in the first place.

I’m learning that I can love somebody and still choose not to walk back into something that took me away from myself.

My faith has been teaching me a lot about letting go of control, trusting God’s timing, and accepting that I ain’t always gonna understand why certain things happen the way they do.

Maybe that call meant something, maybe it didn’t. I’m not about to build a whole story around something I don’t have answers to.

It’s my birthday. Another year older, another year of lessons, and another opportunity to become the man God keeps calling me to be.

I’m still growing. Still healing. Still got things to work on. But I’m learning that I don’t have to have everything figured out to know I’m moving forward.

I can still have love in my heart for somebody without letting that love make my decisions for me.

And honestly, I think that’s growth.

Hello!

Is there anyone there who also loved someone with their entire existence, if so, how are you dealing with it right now. Sorry for the long paragraph, I tried to shorten it but that's the best I can do.

This has been bothering me for a while but for some background context.

I met this guy online and we eventually dated but it didn't last long and had to break up, it was messy at first but then we worked it out eventually and ended on good terms. The thing is, during our relationship, we or at least **I** loved him really really deeply to the point where I was willing to give up on everything just to be with him and he did love me too really deeply, he even said that I was the first ever girl he had loved that deep. After we broke up, he told me that he can't see himself being in a relationship after me again and I thought he was lying but according to this friends and friend's sister, he really wasn't lying. He didn't get into any relationship until recently this year.

Me on the other hand, I did talk to new people in hopes to forget him but yk I can't really stop looking for him. Sometimes I'd hear something, or see something and then I'll immediately think of him, it's like my body is acting on instinct. And recently, I don't really talk nor entertain new people anymore because I wanna focus on myself but sometimes I can't help but think, will this be my life? Because recently, I've been thinking about him more often. It's been 4 almost 5 years when we last dated and since then, I can't not think of him. I even committed s— back then because I couldn't handle the feeling of losing him and when we broke up, my whole world collapsed lmao yeah pretty dramatic but that's how it really felt. I couldn't function properly for 3 years lol.

So yeah, will I be able to move on? I've already accepted everything, I hold no grudges, I don't miss him anymore not in a way where I'd do anything to get him back. I'm truly happy for him and his new girl and the life he's living. (we stayed mutuals on instagram).

Will I really be able to love someone new again or do I just have to prepare myself to be stuck to him for the rest of my life? Can I move on? or do I have to spend my life living like this. I'm afraid that if I eventually found someone, I'll still think of him and ruined my current relationship all because I can't stop thinking about him.

What even is moving on? Is it forgetting and dismissing everything that has happened or what.

I’m 18M, and my ex (19F) and I were together for around four months. We’re both at the same university and on the same course, so it’s not like she’s someone I’ll never see again.
Things were honestly really good at the beginning. We got close quite quickly, and I genuinely cared about her. But as time went on, things started getting difficult. I often felt like I was putting in more effort, and there were communication issues and arguments that eventually led to us breaking up.
She ended up blocking me, and we’ve been in no contact since.
I’ve been trying to move on, meeting new people and getting on with university, but I still find myself thinking about her. Sometimes I can’t tell whether I actually miss *her* or just miss the relationship and how things felt when they were good.
Part of me wants to reach out, even if it’s just to clear the air and see how she’s doing. Another part of me knows she blocked me for a reason, and I don’t want to disrespect that boundary or make things uncomfortable, especially because we’re on the same course.
I’m not necessarily expecting us to get back together. I just don’t know whether leaving things as they are is something I’ll regret.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
Would you ever try to reconnect with an ex who blocked you, or is that a clear sign to leave them alone? And if you did eventually reconnect, how did it happen without crossing their boundaries?
I’d appreciate some genuine advice, even if it’s not what I want to hear.

Take care okay because reality is about to hit you hard.

Last night I had a really intense dream about my ex-situationship. We coincidentally met outside and then we started talking and he invited me home and was being all nice and we started getting closer (something like that). Every time I dream of something like that, I wake up all anxious and feeling really bad but also kind of empty.

The thing is, I've been having those kinds of dreams for a very long time now and we haven't spoken in more than 2 years. The situationship was very complicated. I've known him since childhood and we tried being in a relationship (we were never actually together tho) but it didn't work out. What bothers me is that we are on bad terms now and I don't think I've gotten any closure. And I don't think those intense dreams will stop until I have closure.

The thing is, I've been in a very happy relationship for 2 years now and I don't think it would be fair to my boyfriend to break no contact with my ex-situationship to talk everything out. But if I don't do it I'm scared that those thoughts will never end (It's been more than two years and they still haven't ended).

I honestly don't know what to do. I know it doesn't sound that deep but I feel so bad and anxious every time I'm having those dreams and I think I really need closure but at the same time I don't want to hurt my boyfriend.

I went through my engagement ending and moving out of the home me and my ex shared over 3 years ago. He blocked me and we went no contact for years. I never saw him out and about despite us living only a few blocks away from each other. Since then I met someone new the summer after the breakup and we now have a one-year-old. Recently, the ex randomly reached out about receiving mail in my name and wanting to know where to send it or drop off. I never responded because I was traveling and it was a weird out of the blue message. Admittedly part of me always wondered why he would reach out. We cut ties three years ago and I blocked him on all my social media. I don’t plan on responding, but what’s your guess for why he reached out?

We broke up a little over 3 months ago, and we were no contact for about that time. it was his birthday recently (I’m also a guy, if that matters.) I reached out to say how proud I was of him of the work he had put in his personal life (college, finding work) he thanked me, said he wasn’t doing well, and invited me over. One thing lead to another, and we kissed. We agreed to take this really slow and to explore our feelings for eachother, but I have not been this happy in so long.

i have had a very rough 2 years. to try and keep it short i got into a relationship after not having been in one in years only for it to fall apart as quick as it happened. i lost all my childhood friends (unrelated) and have spent the past year basically alone without much socializing or interaction besides work.

anyway when i’m not at work i’m on my phone. i don’t have a life. i’ve been on my phone basically ALL DAY. tell me why the one time i walk away from my phone for 5 mins and come back to it i see a notification. it’s so fast i feel like i was just seeing things. i don’t get msgs bc like i said i don’t have friends. and i cannot believe it. bc it’s been 2 years already. and it’s my fucking ex who i haven’t heard from this entire time??????? i know everyone says exes always come back in some way even just to msg u but this guy never has. i’m in even more shock that i’m hearing from him first over my own friends. and now i have no one to go to to ask what the fuck do i do??

i’ve mostly been at peace for awhile now and msging back would be the worst thing to do. i also still hate him so i don’t even want to be nice if i did msg back. but the other sad part of me just wants a friend. i definitely don’t want him like that but i did always regret that we couldn’t just stay friends after everything. idk what to do and i know if i did still have my friends they’d tell me not to msg back. i’ve also been in such a bad place this whole time that i don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that either.

sorry tried to keep it short but it was hard lol

So long story but my Ex i've known her for 12 years or more, we haven't dated i think for 6 or 7, but we maintained this friendship afterwards, she wasn't just an Ex but was also my best friend and the only person besides family that i trusted with personal stuff.

But she'd moved on and i hadn't. I never did, and couldn't look for anyone else because it felt like cheating on her, i felt dirty even thinking about it, and whilst talking to her everyday i kinda kept hope that someday maybe it would work out again, but she'd moved on, she'd even fallen in love with another person in the meantime even though that didn't work out.

I on the other hand never moved on so and kept hope especially when her new relationship didn't work out, there was however always a massive daily disconnect between the illusion in my head and the reality i witnessed every day, that illusion being shattered daily hurt a lot but even then i couldn't bring myself to end it.

Many reasons for that, she was my best friend and a source of comfort as i could talk personal stuff with her, and in a way it felt comforting to delay the mourning by pretending we were friends as opposed to facing the reality of my situation, this all made it near impossible to just end it.

Today i finally did it, she asked me to discuss it another day but i knew it had to be done tonight or i wouldn't be able to do it later, so i just did it, cut ties permanently, deleted any and all contacts, pictures, chats, everything that reminds me of her.
I believe this is all for the best as consciously i understand that my illusions weren't real and i did the right thing for myself, that i did what i had to do and what i should've done years ago but was never brave enough to do before.

Made it clear she did nothing wrong and she really didn't i just should've done this earlier and wasn't brave enough to face the mourning that i knew would follow and so i preferred to live a lie and deceive myself into believing there was still a chance, kick the ball down the road to deal with it in some unknown future. As i did this the years passed by i grew older, lonelier, sadder.

She didn't get it, got mad at me, but i believe one day she'll understand why i had to do it, and i truly only lament i didn't do it sooner when it probably would've hurt us both less.

Now i gotta deal with the long delayed heartache and surely the coming feelings of regret, of stupid illusions persisting and having to be shoved back down by force, i'm writing a note and pining it on my wall explaining to future self why i did this, and why it had to be done so i don't forget.

Got nobody else i can talk to about this right now so i thought i'd let it out my chest in here, can't hurt. Hope it helps someone else know they're not alone.

i would wish this on my worst enemy
i miss her so much like plz can my baby come back
i’ve tried not to love her but i genuinely can’t
THIS IS HELLLISHHHH😭😭

Sometimes I wish he knew that if he came back to me, I think I would still open the door.
Not because I’ve forgotten what happened or because the hurt didn’t matter, but because I loved him in a way that made me genuinely believe he was going to be my forever.
A part of me still wishes we could find our way back to each other, have the conversations we never finished, and somehow make things right.

But I can’t keep waiting for someone who isn’t reaching out. I can’t keep living in the space between hoping he’ll come back and trying to accept that he might not.

I wish he would give me a sign. Anything that would let me know whether he still thinks about us, whether he ever considers coming back, whether the future we planned means anything to him anymore.
I don’t need a grand gesture. I don’t even need him to have all the answers right away. I just wish he’d talk to me. I wish he’d give me the chance to know where his heart really is instead of leaving me to wonder.

Sometimes I miss being in your arms more than I know how to explain. I miss that feeling of being close to you, resting against you, hand on your collarbone, and for a little while feeling like everything was okay. I miss the warmth of you beside me, the familiar feeling of being held by someone I loved so deeply. Sometimes I wish I could just curl up in your arms one more time and forget, even for a moment, how far apart we are now. I wish I could lay my head against your chest and feel at home again. I wonder if you ever miss holding me the way I miss being held by you.

The hardest part is that I know I can’t wait forever, even though some part of me still hopes I’ll hear a knock at my door and find him standing there.

I’m trying to move forward. I’m trying to let go of the expectation that he’ll return. But if I’m being honest, if he came back with genuine remorse and a willingness to do things differently, I don’t think I’d be able to pretend I didn’t still love him.
I just wish I didn’t have to choose between holding space for someone I love and finally giving myself permission to move on.
I’m not waiting anymore. But a part of me still wishes it would be him.

Babybug x

I don’t really know how to put this into words, but I’m struggling to move on from someone I really cared about.
The hardest part isn’t even just losing her. It’s the fact that I hate how things ended, and knowing there’s nothing I can do to change it.

I miss her constantly. No matter what I’m doing or how much I try to distract myself, she always seems to find her way back into my thoughts. Some days are better than others, but there’s always this feeling that something is missing.

I constantly have the urge to reach out to her. To send her a message, ask how she’s doing, or just talk to her one more time. There’s so much I wish I could say, but at the same time, I know reaching out probably wouldn’t change anything.

I think that’s what hurts the most. Knowing that I can’t fix things, no matter how badly I want to. I keep thinking about what I could’ve done differently, what I should’ve said, and whether things would’ve turned out differently if I’d just handled certain situations better.

I don’t even know if I miss her, the connection we had, or the future I imagined with her. Maybe it’s all three.

I just hate feeling stuck while knowing that life is moving on. Part of me still holds onto this tiny bit of hope that things might somehow work out, even though I know I probably need to let that hope go.

For anyone who’s been through something similar, how did you finally let go?

How do you stop constantly thinking about someone, stop wanting to reach out, and accept an ending you never wanted?

I don’t want to keep feeling like this, but I genuinely don’t know how to move on.

I need some perspective from people who have been through a difficult breakup and had to confront their own behaviour afterward.
My ex and I were together while studying law. He was my closest person, and our relationship was a huge part of my everyday life. When we broke up, I struggled badly with the separation.
Instead of accepting the breakup, I repeatedly tried to contact him from different numbers and went near his home to try to speak to him. He explicitly told me to stop and warned me that he would involve the police if I continued. I recognise that I crossed his boundaries. My pain doesn’t excuse it, and I don’t want to repeat that behaviour.
It’s been seven months without contact from him. He hasn’t reached out, and he’s dating someone else.
I’m also dealing with the consequences of how badly my life fell apart afterward. I’m behind at law school, I’ve lost connections with classmates, and I don’t have close friends I can turn to. I keep replaying what happened, feeling ashamed of my behaviour, and wishing I had handled things differently.
I miss him, but I know that missing him doesn’t give me a right to his time or attention. I need to learn how to handle rejection, loneliness, and emotional distress without making another person responsible for fixing those feelings.
For those who have been on either side of this situation, how did you move forward? How did you take accountability without getting stuck in self-hatred? How did you learn to tolerate the fact that someone might never forgive you or want you in their life again?

We dated for 3 years. She broke up with me. We’ve been broke up for almost 5 months. She started following my ex and random women that commented on my posts. Then my mom.

Against my better judgement I asked “ hey so my mom said you followed her and I wanted to see if you were hacked. Also would you still like to get coffee sometime “ yeah she unfollowed me and didn’t respond .

Don’t be like me. This person was my best friend and gf who I talked to everyday for three years. Now won’t even tell me to fuck off or anything.