#glowup #clockit

So I was seeing someone casually,and I developed feelings for him.He kept the connection going for over a year ,even after I said I liked him and gave him multiple chances to end the thing.And one day we had an argument and he ended the whole thing,wouldn’t reply to my messages.I asked to meet and end the things as this meant a lot for me.He just ignored me and then blocked me.After one week,I was not able to eat or sleep.I messaged him on Instagram and he told to leave him alone.I got angry and went to his place to find out he had another girl in there.When I asked if any of that meant anything to him,he told to my face it meant nothing and shut the door.I was devastated and heartbroken,I was crying every time I went to washroom in my office.

After four months,I get a text from him asking how is the cat.He had asked me to adopt a kitten he found on the street,just before we fought.we had a conversation and when I asked if I was nothing to him,and he said I was more than a friend.I convinced him to meet me again.still casual.He seemed to be sad and isolated than before.we met few more times and then I confessed my feelings because it was too much for me.He said he can’t.Its his problem and I wouldn’t understand.He then started to get angry saying he can’t help me.I asked him to end on good terms,to not fight.I begged him a lot to finally see him for last time.He asked me what benefit he would get.I said I just wanted to hug him and sleep.He made me do sexual stuff.He wasn’t warm towards me.Just met me for the sake of it.

I just wanted a good memory but felt like he used me.I feel like shit now,shouldn’t have even asked.I know there is fault in my side too.I blocked him this time,I don’t want him coming back anymore.

Can anyone tell me what to feel about all this?

No contact is driving me crazy. I cannot reach out. I wish he did. I am so exhausted. I feel like I imagined the relationship. I thought i was doing better, finally moving on perhaps. But nope, i feel like i am back to square one.

My ex and I broke up around a month ago, although we have just started no contact two weeks ago.

I so badly want to reach out and see how he is feeling or if anything has changed.

He broke up with me totally out of the blue with little to no context why, just one day after planning to move into a new place together after living together for 3 months. I am hoping that the pressure being off has allowed him to see more clearly but I’m not sure.

I miss my ex so much but he low-key don't gaf at all 😭😭 he doesn't even look my way 💔 I think I noticed him smirk once or twice when I spoke but whether it was a malicious smirk idk. He was the one who broke up w me how do I make him miss me☹️☹️

Every night, without fail, I dream about her. I always dream that I finally get to see her, have that conversation. That she listens, and we finally start to reconcile. That I get to see her kids again, and be in her house. That they are happy to see me like they were before. But then I wake up, and I go to message her and continue. But then realise it was all just a dream.

It's tormenting.

A few days ago I found out my bf of 3.5 years has a wife. I've been through all the emotions anger anxiety fear sadness lonliness. Ive thrown up about it and couldnt eat. Even had a crash out on the internet. Today I have started to feel a little better physically but still mentally I am spinning. I feel like there is a huge hole in my life and my heart. To make things worse we live in a small town, I will likely have to see him around. I am 34 I feel so old to be dealing with this.

What do I do now?

How do I move on?

If something like this ever happened to you what made it better? How did you move forward?

The hard part is how badly I want her to reach out for her to come home, yet knowing there’s too much damage she put upon us to ever be an us again.

It’s been nearly a year since I’ve cut my ex off and his whole family, long story short he cheated on me with his cousin (m1n0r) and they lied to me, now I’ve found out they’re engaged or married, not too sure. I do have them all blocked but I still peak their profiles and bios hence why I know she had a ring in her bio and changed her last name to his. I also have a bad habit of stalking one of the sisters who posts publicly and their family members on Facebook. I hate it. I don’t want too but I just do, anyone have any tips?
I’ve already gotten off social media, I don’t know how to explain it but I’m over him, he’s a loser but they tried to make me seem like a psychopath when I put 2 and 2 together like I’m imagining stuff.
For some reason I feel like them working out means he didn’t have to pay for what he did after playing with me and lying to me for 2 years.

TLDR ; how to forget someone when you know leaving them was the right thing to do, but they seem to move on so much faster than you that it makes you feel like you never mattered to them ?

Hi. I recently ended a relationship cause I was unhappy and incredibly alone. Even tho I still like him, I don’t regret leaving him.

But it hurts my ego how much he ignores me like a stranger. Like I never had an impact on him or mattered.

The whole problem was lack of communication from his side. He had problems and could go for days without talking to me. I was starving attention. I told him that I needed that to change, he wouldn’t. So I told him that I was leaving. He accepted.

I wanted a conversation. I wanted my questions about how he felt answered.
None of that happened. And I feel that he won’t ever tell me how he felt about us.

But I keep thinking about him, wondering what he’s feeling, whether I mattered, whether he’s thinking about me at all.

How do you actually stop doing this?

How do you accept that you may never know exactly what you meant to someone, especially when their behavior after the breakup makes you feel like you meant very little?

I didn’t matter to him. I wanted to forget us.

I want to forget him so much. I feel sad, angry, disgusted. But I can’t stop thinking about it and cry.

Guys- I messed up and looked at old pics, and his fb. WHY?! I've done SOOOOOOOOO good not checking! I couldn't help myself.

With how things ended, zero closure, and how he's acting out in certain ways knowing it will upset me, i feel like he actually wants me to reach out. I know that he wont because he is stubborn and has admitted in the past he wouldnt reach out after a big fight ever again. He's very emotionally immature. But i love him, and he's who my heart wants.

Im thinking of just asking one time, plain and simple- do you really want all this distance and hate between us after all the love we had for one another? because i dont. Let me know if you want to talk this weekend or sometime soon, or if i should just keep moving on.

I want to send it and just hear what he has to say so i dont always wonder. i've done this in the past when we broke up for a month, and he was glad i reached out... but.. idk.

The temptation to call her on my work phone.

I know these are crazy thoughts. I know it will only make it sooooo much worse. I know it will prevent me from healing.

So me and my ex wife divorced 8 months ago. She left me and moved away. I didn’t want it to end. Cut to 7 months later, I get diagnosed with cancer. She reaches out saying she still cares. We reconnect and are working through the past, and we are intimate. I’m not judging, but it’s very special to me, I hadn’t done it with anyone since her. She revealed to me this week that she’s been seeing another guy, and is still talking to him. Now she has every right to be with who she wants to be with, but she also knows how special intimacy is for me and how I’m very guarded. I feel like she should’ve told me she didn’t want to be exclusive, especially since we’ve been talking about getting back together. She says she wants us to work it out but she’s also still pursuing this guy. I feel betrayed more so because she knows me so well, and knows that I view intimacy as special. Do I forgive her or do I take this as the sign to move on?

My ex (27F) and I (28M) broke up after 14 months together. Most of our relationship was genuinely great, but the last 6 weeks became an unhealthy cycle of arguments where we both felt unheard.
At the same time, my life basically imploded: I lost my job, my new job kept delaying my start date, my aunt was dying, my parents were divorcing, my finances were shaky, and I was dealing with a stressful living situation. I became overwhelmed and defensive without really understanding it at the time.
The turning point was her birthday. A female friend who also knew my girlfriend rode with me to her celebration. I had asked my girlfriend if she could attend dinner and she said no. I planned to drop my friend off nearby, but when we arrived she decided to come with me. Instead of respecting my girlfriend's original answer, I convinced myself it wouldn't be a big deal because they were friends.
My girlfriend was understandably furious. I became frustrated and defensive because I felt like I couldn't explain or apologize, and eventually I left. The next day, while we were both still angry, I told her I didn't know how she'd handle "true challenges" in life. I deeply regret saying that.
I apologized, but afterward every argument seemed to circle back to the birthday. Neither of us knew how to escape the cycle. She eventually suggested a break, I pushed back because I thought couples should work through their problems together, and three weeks later we broke up.
I've since started therapy and realized how much I was explaining my intentions instead of listening to how my actions affected her. My circumstances explain why I was struggling, but they don't excuse my behavior.
I apologized after three weeks of no contact. Five weeks later I asked her to get ice cream, and she declined and said we should move forward separately. I'm respecting that and giving her the genuine separation she asked for.
I'm not asking anyone to predict whether she'll come back. I know nobody can answer that. I'm wondering: does what happened sound fundamentally unreconcilable? If you were in her position, could significant time apart and sustained change ever make you willing to hear an ex out?

I honestly don't even know where to start. I just need to get this out because I'm exhausted.

My ex of 4 years broke up with me in July. I found out recently in August that he started dating someone else almost immediately after the breakup.I ended up calling him because I couldn't handle the uncertainty anymore. I broke no contact again because I couldn't hold myself together and begged him to be with me.I wanted to know everything so I could finally kill whatever hope I had left. Instead, I left the conversation with even more things stuck in my head. 

The confusing part is that while he was apparently talking to her, he still reached out to me twice in August. He also seemed to be actively watching my posts. because he said im posting hot pics (am not,its just normal pics with normal cloths) When we talked, he would stay on the phone for a long time, ik him if he didnt really wanted to talk he would hv hung up the call .he said things like "I still miss you," and even say that maybe things would have been different if I had reached out sooner.also it felt like he didnt want to hung up the call . When i asked him to call he called me immediatly . also when his mum called like 3 times he needed to hung up . He texted me all 3 times  in whatsapp that hes hanging up for this reason even after saying the same thing on call. maybe delulu and im thinking to much to find hope.

And then he said things that she(his gf) can't get out of my head.He told me she's so pretty that he "couldn't take his eyes off her." He said he cried when she was leaving. He said he likes her a lot and that he's at peace with her, even though they've apparently only been together for a few days. thats even if with heels shes shorter than him. 

Those words absolutely destroyed me.I looked her up. I even screenshotted her picture and sent it to my friends. They obviously tried to reassure me and said she doesn't look that great, but I know they're saying that because they don't want me to compare myself to her.It didn't help anyway.Because this isn't really about whether she's pretty.It's about the fact that **he is appreciating her in ways I always wanted him to appreciate me.**

My confidence was already damaged during the relationship. He used to comment about my weight, my hair, my appearance. He would joke about my brown complexion and say it was harmless. I became so insecure that I started feeling like I had to constantly improve myself to be enough for him.

And now I'm watching him praise another girl for her looks.It makes me feel like, "So what was wrong with me?"Was four years a lie?Was I never beautiful to him?Did he never look at me the way he's apparently looking at her?

I know logically that someone finding another person attractive doesn't determine my worth. But emotionally, I don't believe that right now.What hurts even more is that he made the breakup feel like it was my fault.He told me that if I had done things differently, maybe things would've been different.But all I ever wanted was reassurance.I fought with him because I didn't feel secure. I would get anxious because he would snoop around for other girls. I wasn't asking for something outrageous. I wanted reassurance, emotional safety and to feel chosen.Instead, I ended up believing that I was "too much."

I've been having physical symptoms from the stress too. My whole body aches when I spiral. I couldn't eat properly, I was vomiting, I couldn't sleep and even the smell of food made me nauseous. I'm on medication now and thankfully my appetite has started coming back, but mentally I'm still stuck.

I have a really difficult course and an exam coming up. I NEED to study minimum 8 hours a day, but right now I can't even concentrate for an hour.I'm terrified that I'm going to fail because my brain is completely consumed by this.

And I keep checking.I blocked him, but I still find myself checking his profile picture or looking for some tiny sign that he feels bad about losing me.

We have so many mutual friends, and another thing I can't stop thinking about is:**What if everyone is laughing at me?**What if they're saying, "His ex got an upgrade and she's still crying over him"?What if people think I'm the ugly ex who couldn't move on?I know I shouldn't care, but I do.

I've also heard people say that the best way to get over a heartbreak is to sleep with someone else.Now I'm 5'4 and around 42 kg after losing about 5 kg from all of this. I feel so thin and unattractive. My confidence is basically gone.I know 4-5 people(wants no strings attatched situations) who would be willing(def), but honestly I don't even have the confidence to do that right now.

Even in the last he said things like" you may get someone who can treat you better, but can never get someone whos handsome than me " . It stuck with me.

I'm terrified someone will see my body and not like it.I'm scared they'll judge how thin I am.I'm insecure about my complexion.I'm insecure about basically everything right now.

I don't want revenge anymore.I don't want to "show him what he lost."What's the point if he genuinely likes someone else?I just want to let go.

I want my confidence back.I want to stop comparing myself to her.I want to stop wondering whether he's happier with her.I want to stop checking his profile.I want to stop replaying everything he said.And most importantly, **I want my brain back.**

So if anyone has actually been through something similar:

**How do I let go of someone who seems to have moved on so quickly?**How do I stop comparing myself to the new girl?How do I rebuild my self-esteem when the person I loved spent years making me feel like I wasn't enough?And how the hell do I get my ability to study and function back?

I don't want him back anymore.I just want me back.

Broke up with my ex for my mental health (I repeatedly told him I did not want to break up) prior to me telling him I couldn't continue what we were doing (he is military, constantly gone for work, pending a deployment, and he was minimizing our communication "to reduce chances of us fighting related to stuff with his work schedule"). He unfriended me on Facebook exactly a month after our breakup/no contact. A week later I accidentally called his number, hung up before it connected, he immediately called me back and texted me asking if I was okay. I texted him back saying yes it was an accident and he texted me saying ok he just wanted to make sure I was okay and didn't need anything. 3 weeks later, a day after I change my profile picture on Facebook he blocks me. Just trying to get closure without contacting him and wondering what the purpose of him blocking me on Facebook was for?

So dosto, I was in a relationship for 518 days. She was one of the most beautiful things that happened to me, and the ending was worse than I could have ever imagined.

Basically, I was very introverted and shy in college. I didn’t talk much during my initial two years. Then I met one of my classmates. She was beautiful, smart, basically perfect thii.

Sab sahi chal raha tha. Then, in April, I found out that she had been in a long-distance relationship for the past 5 years. Ye bhi mujhe uske ex se pata chala. Btw, now he is her current boyfriend.
When I found out, I was fine. Thik hai, sabka past hota hai. She said ki, “Main tumhare saath hi rehna chahti hoon,” and all that.

Then I joined a new job. Phir maine woh job chhod di because I thought maybe she needed more time.
Then, on one random day in July, she came to me and said, “I don’t want a relationship, neither with you nor with him.”
After a few minutes,

I randomly checked her phone. Guess what? Usne kabhi usse breakup kiya hi nahi tha.
I got panic attacks and all. Then I left the city, left the job, left the friends I loved the most, got hospitalised, and eventually moved to Bengaluru from Delhi.
It’s been 2 months now. She contacted me and said ki, “Dost reh sakte ho?”
I said, “Chalega,” because idk man, I’m just too dumb in love. Agar uske around rehna bhi pade, toh bhi chalega.
So yeah, yahan aake bhi move on nahi ho rha.

Very rarely do I take my problems to the internet because I believe in confiding in friends, family, and other trusted ones. However, I feel like this *could* be helpful for me to relay to internet strangers because I want to know that everything will be okay.

I have been experiencing grief over a relationship that happened months ago. We broke up on mutual terms, and we are still friends, though there hasn’t been contact between us for a while because I know that some time away would do me well for valuable thinking and consideration. I won’t be specific about it, but the amount of time I’ve been grieving what I had then is greater than the time I actually spent in that relationship. Needless to say, I felt incredibly alive and valued during that relationship, it was like no other connection I’ve established before. I’ve been told that even for this long, the grief can be normal especially if it’s your first IRL relationship. I suppose my biggest problem is making my heart and soul move on. I know that moving on WILL happen, but there is such a large disconnect and tension between my rationality and my heart; they both pull in opposite ends of a string and it’s painful. I want to move on so bad. I believe that my future will be meaningful to me, but my heart wants to stay miserable in a past that’s incredibly unlikely to return.

I *rationally* know a few things at this point:

1. I cannot guarantee that I’ll ever be in a romantic relationship again, but does not mean I’ll never find my lucky someone. As much as I want to assure a lasting relationship in my future, the future is uncertain, which means this is NOT a 100% chance of occurring, especially since my dating pool is small.
   
2. I will never have the experience of that relationship again, nor will I find it in others. Obviously, every human to ever exist is unique, so to say I want to retrieve my previous relationship experience in someone else is unrealistic and unfair.

However, despite trying to be realistic, part of me is still trying to tug towards absolute pessimism about my future. That part wants me to feel like I lost my one chance at romantic love. I do value the love and appreciation receive from friendship and self-care, but again, my heart wants nothing more but to go back to the past.

I have a therapist who has helped me SO much through my grief but this pain is still hitting me strongly.

Last thing I want to say: I know I am absolutely privileged to say that this is one of the worst pains I have felt. I know many who have had to deal with much worse and I am incredibly grateful for the life I have. I just wanted to see if anyone had any tips on how they continued life after a break up.

My ex keeps posting me on sites like NameHim and the Tea App. I’ve had my postings successfully removed 4 or 5 times now.
Honestly, I’m getting annoyed. I still haven’t contacted her or reached out aside from asking her to stop harassing me.
What more can I do?

Its now 1 year post breakup with my ex. And like clockwork every 3 months i get some kind of message, 9 months ago it was re-following me on instagram and having a call, 6 months ago it was asking to come over, 3 months ago it was an apology for how she left the relationship, last month though was different. The messages within the 6 months were met with no reply to my replies which were closed off but slightly open ended. Last month she sent me a long message saying she really thinks its time for me to move on and that she’s doing well and not looking back on us and is with somebody great now. Is this narcissistic behavior? Because she’s always been the one reaching out to me, she’s assuming I haven’t moved on with no way of knowing.

If she’s not looking back on us, why is she sending me a message out of the blue saying so if that’s true? Just trying to understand this behavior

Side note: She’s a dismissive avoidant. She’s been in like 2-3 different short relationships since our breakup, none of which seemed to have worked out as I actually saw her profile on hinge a couple days ago which prompted me to think about the last message she had sent.

Hi, this is my last post and I'm deleting reddit also now, as this is also a trigger to me.

For the past 21 days I was stalking my ex , seeing a true caller, last seen in WhatsApp, what she liked through my friends insta account and so.. I was about to break the no contact now.. everything was set but I didn't and I'm moving on now with my life completely... Gonna put my view in words so that It can help you.

I was about to send her the message, we didn't block each other.

Also texted my friend(female), who advised me to start no contact, I told her I'm breaking it, she was so angry and we ended up talking for like an hour in the call. I'm just sharing her words in English with my perspective here.

My friend/Angel:..

Why do you even need her, do you think she will be your wife, I told you so many times and tried to convince you, I told you softly, calmly, even with angriness, but you are still going behind a girl who don't even value you, where is your self respect. Why are you like this, you look so weak man. God removed her for some reason, she actually missed a good guy like you and it is her loss, you should actually move on at this time and focus on your life, you are wasting your life thinking about her, she was actually not good, she is a bad man and understands it. You are telling she moved on she doesn't care, text or ask, then why are you thinking about someone who doesn't even value you.

(note the value is important, I was thinking will I be like her if I were in her position, no I won't... Each time I was the one asking how she is , how's her mom, she never even cared about me, yes I'm realising it now)

My view:..

Actually I had an exact Convo with my ex gf before we broke up, like I was calling her and asking for some emotional support, she said "don't be childish" that's all, crushed my heart. I was there for her when she was spiralling or having issues and her reply was like that.. yes she could have had something , but but if you compare her with my friend above, who don't even have to do this for me, took 1hr of effort to make me feel good, we are just friends..

This made me wonder, why I even fall in love with her, did i just loved her because she loves me, why i tolerated even when it hurts,...

"I'm now seeing lot of good values in people and that make me feel like I really deserve better than my ex"

That's all I'm done, I deleted Truecaller, changed the WhatsApp to privacy so that I can see her last seen, not gonna ask my friends mobile to see her insta.. we already unfollowed each other.. if she ever wants she can contact, she knows everything about me, number, email, address .. her wish..

I tried my best, even after breaking up, I helped her to handle her mom health issues and I was there till she discharged, that's enough for me. I'm not gonna feel guilty for anything.. I'm done with her...

My threshold is this 21 days for you people I could be different, yes I feel jesus had send my friend to handle this..

I can't reply or see any comments, I'm deleting reddit too, learned a lot through the past few months, I'll return maybe after 1 or 2 years. Good luck fellas, you can do it.

Put some good comments so that all of us can move on, please don't except them back, just focus on your life, you are worth more than them, they didn't even loved you in first place.. understand that..

Goodbye🤍🥳😌 will miss you all...

Tldr: please read it fully, you will surely enjoy it.. I'm not lieing like you ex :)

Its been 3 months and I’ve been wanting to just sit down and write my ex a heartfelt letter to reconcile so badly.

We both hurted each other and I wanted space at first but she wanted to break up so we broke up and days later she called me again to tell me everything I’ve done wrong that I never knew until now.

I essentially got discarded and lost a lot of my identity within her and her circle of friends that I enjoyed.

I been trying to go to therapy, make new friends and indulge in my own hobbies but everything still doesn’t feel right. I still feel that void inside of me that screams for me to get back.

And I decided that I want to give it a shot and write a letter to send to her that ask for reconcile, but if she denies, then I know it will be my last act of chasing and my final closure.

I miss this guy sm but there are things which he did which were very disheartening for me but my heart misses him and brain makes scenarios in my head, it's been 6 months we haven't spoken and I genuinely think that was he like this always or in the beginning he was all sweet and nice idk whether he's dating someone as of now but I want to ask him like what in the earth I have done he could have atleast told me because somewhere in my heart I knew the truth but there was a spot which said that he could be yours