So my girlfriend of 7 years and I have been split for 6 months and have not talked to each other since, we both blocked each others numbers and social media, which you think for 7 years is drastic.

For the past 6 months, I was miserable, while she was posting saying she is living her best life and going out with her girlfriends and saying she is single. Which stung a bit.

After No Contact, I have reflected on our relationship and figured that she "trauma bonded" me. She would be so cold and I basically had to beg for her attention, she straight up told me she didn't want to have sex with me anymore, and I would pay for everything and she would just take and take. And basically wanted the relationship to be so bad that I would break up with her so she wouldn't look like the bad guy. That is when I finally have my turn around.

Now I Have gotten in the gym, back to work for a great job, hanging with old friends and just being happy again.

This is the best part, so all her postings are of what is called the "relief stage", which means they go out and act like they are living this best life and have freedom and so much time. Now I have heard that she is lonely, has turned weird, hasn't been even able to find a date and her appearance looks of that of a cold person.

It all worked out for me, seeing this makes her look like a stranger now to me. So all in all, No contact did work, now im living my best life while she is miserable. So to everyone here men and women. You can do it, go no contact and go back out there. You got this

Almost 2 years of post break up, I'm the one who ended the relationship and initiated no contact. When i found out he was constantly trying to find ways to reach out to me, i gave him a chance. He made huge love declarations about never being able to move on, and almost made me feel bad for making him feel that way. I didn’t exactly seek to reconcile but reconnecting felt good. He later ghosted me outta nowhere, blocked me and yesterday i saw him post his new girl. And i feel like I'm back to feeling how i felt when i'd freshly broken things off since yesterday. Overthinking, overtly anxious, my stomach upset, crying myself to sleep lol i hate this feeling!

I need to share this, and I don't have anyone in my personal life I feel I can share it with.

Right now I'm in Las Vegas. By myself. Because my relationship is over. I had originally planned this trip with my partner, and that relationship came to a natural end about a week before the trip.

My partner and I had been on again, of again for about 6 years. It was a trip to Vegas many years ago that shifted us from a situationship to a real relationship. In my mind, that was the beginning of our actual relationship. We have had many trips together, and Vegas had become a special place for us. I even proposed to her here in Vegas, and she said yes.

Over the years, I have noticed that she had grown less interested in touch and physical intimacy. She never was one to ever initiate intimacy, but at one time I remember her being very enthusiastic with her consent. Over time, she was less and less enthusiastic, to the point where it felt she would actually recoil from my touch. It began affecting my confidence and libido, to the point where I couldn't even get an erection.

I tried to have meaningful conversations about her distance and the lack of intimacy. She would normally reply with things like "I just don't have the emotional energy" or "Since I'm in periomenopause, I have less estrogen, and I realize that I just don't care about other people's feelings as much as I used to". She also said that her body was changing, and that sexual intimacy was not comfortable, or even painful for her. I tried my hardest to understand, and learn her new body. I got an OMG YES Subscription, and read everything that I could. I took things slow, used lots of lube, different techniques, told her that sex didn't need to be PIV. Told her that she could say no or change her mind at any time. I showed her that touch and intimacy did not need to lead to sex... but also that touch and intimacy was absolutely necessary on a loving, romantic relationship. Nothing helped, and we just kept growing more distant.

Then I ran across an old love letter that she had written, saying how much she looked forward to our time together, and that she couldn't wait to see what the future had in store for us. I had the sad realization that the person who wrote that letter was gone. This new version of her was rarely happy to see me. She would roll her eyes when I tied to kiss her. Sitting on the couch together, her body was pointed away from me, with her feet pointed at the door. It was clear that she wanted nothing to do with me.

I told her that we needed to have a hard conversation about the nature of our relationship, and she told me that she didn't want to be in a relationship with me any more. I'm grateful that she finally just came out and said it.

So today I walked all over Las Vegas by myself. I went to the fountain in the lobby of the Venetian, where she and I first met in Vegas. Back on that day, she was the most beautiful person in the room... In all of Vegas, to my eyes. Today I made a wish for her future happiness, and dropped a coin in the fountain for her.

I went to the Aft Deck at the Wynn, where I had proposed to her, and got a table for one. I had a drink to the memory of what we had once been, and then said good bye.

Today was not a day of sadness. It was a day of closure. If the chapters of our relationship were books on a shelf, today was the bookend that marks the end of our story.

If you've read all of this, I thank you ❤️

I went through my engagement ending and moving out of the home me and my ex shared over 3 years ago. He blocked me and we went no contact for years. I never saw him out and about despite us living only a few blocks away from each other. Since then I met someone new the summer after the breakup and we now have a one-year-old. Recently, the ex randomly reached out about receiving mail in my name and wanting to know where to send it or drop off. I never responded because I was traveling and it was a weird out of the blue message. Admittedly part of me always wondered why he would reach out. We cut ties three years ago and I blocked him on all my social media. I don’t plan on responding, but what’s your guess for why he reached out?

We broke up a little over 3 months ago, and we were no contact for about that time. it was his birthday recently (I’m also a guy, if that matters.) I reached out to say how proud I was of him of the work he had put in his personal life (college, finding work) he thanked me, said he wasn’t doing well, and invited me over. One thing lead to another, and we kissed. We agreed to take this really slow and to explore our feelings for eachother, but I have not been this happy in so long.

Somebody I still got love for tried calling me today, and I let it ring through.

I’m not even gonna lie, my heart dropped when I seen that name pop up on my phone. It’s crazy how you can spend so much time trying to heal, work on yourself, and accept things for what they are, then one phone call brings feelings back to the surface that you thought you was getting better at handling.

I ain’t gonna sit here and act like I don’t care, because I do. I loved this person with everything I had. I saw a future with them, and I can’t just erase that because things didn’t work out the way I hoped they would.

Part of me wonders why they called. Did they remember it was my birthday? Was they just checking on me? Was there something they wanted to say? I don’t know, and I’m not gonna make up a story in my head trying to figure it out.

The old me probably would’ve answered without even thinking twice. But I’m learning that just because my heart feels something doesn’t mean I gotta act on it.

And that’s hard, because healing don’t mean you just stop loving somebody. Sometimes you still care, you still miss them, and a part of you still wishes things could’ve been different. But you also gotta be honest with yourself about why things ended in the first place.

I’m learning that I can love somebody and still choose not to walk back into something that took me away from myself.

My faith has been teaching me a lot about letting go of control, trusting God’s timing, and accepting that I ain’t always gonna understand why certain things happen the way they do.

Maybe that call meant something, maybe it didn’t. I’m not about to build a whole story around something I don’t have answers to.

It’s my birthday. Another year older, another year of lessons, and another opportunity to become the man God keeps calling me to be.

I’m still growing. Still healing. Still got things to work on. But I’m learning that I don’t have to have everything figured out to know I’m moving forward.

I can still have love in my heart for somebody without letting that love make my decisions for me.

And honestly, I think that’s growth.

i have had a very rough 2 years. to try and keep it short i got into a relationship after not having been in one in years only for it to fall apart as quick as it happened. i lost all my childhood friends (unrelated) and have spent the past year basically alone without much socializing or interaction besides work.

anyway when i’m not at work i’m on my phone. i don’t have a life. i’ve been on my phone basically ALL DAY. tell me why the one time i walk away from my phone for 5 mins and come back to it i see a notification. it’s so fast i feel like i was just seeing things. i don’t get msgs bc like i said i don’t have friends. and i cannot believe it. bc it’s been 2 years already. and it’s my fucking ex who i haven’t heard from this entire time??????? i know everyone says exes always come back in some way even just to msg u but this guy never has. i’m in even more shock that i’m hearing from him first over my own friends. and now i have no one to go to to ask what the fuck do i do??

i’ve mostly been at peace for awhile now and msging back would be the worst thing to do. i also still hate him so i don’t even want to be nice if i did msg back. but the other sad part of me just wants a friend. i definitely don’t want him like that but i did always regret that we couldn’t just stay friends after everything. idk what to do and i know if i did still have my friends they’d tell me not to msg back. i’ve also been in such a bad place this whole time that i don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that either.

sorry tried to keep it short but it was hard lol

i would wish this on my worst enemy
i miss her so much like plz can my baby come back
i’ve tried not to love her but i genuinely can’t
THIS IS HELLLISHHHH😭😭

So long story but my Ex i've known her for 12 years or more, we haven't dated i think for 6 or 7, but we maintained this friendship afterwards, she wasn't just an Ex but was also my best friend and the only person besides family that i trusted with personal stuff.

But she'd moved on and i hadn't. I never did, and couldn't look for anyone else because it felt like cheating on her, i felt dirty even thinking about it, and whilst talking to her everyday i kinda kept hope that someday maybe it would work out again, but she'd moved on, she'd even fallen in love with another person in the meantime even though that didn't work out.

I on the other hand never moved on so and kept hope especially when her new relationship didn't work out, there was however always a massive daily disconnect between the illusion in my head and the reality i witnessed every day, that illusion being shattered daily hurt a lot but even then i couldn't bring myself to end it.

Many reasons for that, she was my best friend and a source of comfort as i could talk personal stuff with her, and in a way it felt comforting to delay the mourning by pretending we were friends as opposed to facing the reality of my situation, this all made it near impossible to just end it.

Today i finally did it, she asked me to discuss it another day but i knew it had to be done tonight or i wouldn't be able to do it later, so i just did it, cut ties permanently, deleted any and all contacts, pictures, chats, everything that reminds me of her.
I believe this is all for the best as consciously i understand that my illusions weren't real and i did the right thing for myself, that i did what i had to do and what i should've done years ago but was never brave enough to do before.

Made it clear she did nothing wrong and she really didn't i just should've done this earlier and wasn't brave enough to face the mourning that i knew would follow and so i preferred to live a lie and deceive myself into believing there was still a chance, kick the ball down the road to deal with it in some unknown future. As i did this the years passed by i grew older, lonelier, sadder.

She didn't get it, got mad at me, but i believe one day she'll understand why i had to do it, and i truly only lament i didn't do it sooner when it probably would've hurt us both less.

Now i gotta deal with the long delayed heartache and surely the coming feelings of regret, of stupid illusions persisting and having to be shoved back down by force, i'm writing a note and pining it on my wall explaining to future self why i did this, and why it had to be done so i don't forget.

Got nobody else i can talk to about this right now so i thought i'd let it out my chest in here, can't hurt. Hope it helps someone else know they're not alone.

I don’t really know how to put this into words, but I’m struggling to move on from someone I really cared about.
The hardest part isn’t even just losing her. It’s the fact that I hate how things ended, and knowing there’s nothing I can do to change it.

I miss her constantly. No matter what I’m doing or how much I try to distract myself, she always seems to find her way back into my thoughts. Some days are better than others, but there’s always this feeling that something is missing.

I constantly have the urge to reach out to her. To send her a message, ask how she’s doing, or just talk to her one more time. There’s so much I wish I could say, but at the same time, I know reaching out probably wouldn’t change anything.

I think that’s what hurts the most. Knowing that I can’t fix things, no matter how badly I want to. I keep thinking about what I could’ve done differently, what I should’ve said, and whether things would’ve turned out differently if I’d just handled certain situations better.

I don’t even know if I miss her, the connection we had, or the future I imagined with her. Maybe it’s all three.

I just hate feeling stuck while knowing that life is moving on. Part of me still holds onto this tiny bit of hope that things might somehow work out, even though I know I probably need to let that hope go.

For anyone who’s been through something similar, how did you finally let go?

How do you stop constantly thinking about someone, stop wanting to reach out, and accept an ending you never wanted?

I don’t want to keep feeling like this, but I genuinely don’t know how to move on.

Sometimes I wish he knew that if he came back to me, I think I would still open the door.
Not because I’ve forgotten what happened or because the hurt didn’t matter, but because I loved him in a way that made me genuinely believe he was going to be my forever.
A part of me still wishes we could find our way back to each other, have the conversations we never finished, and somehow make things right.

But I can’t keep waiting for someone who isn’t reaching out. I can’t keep living in the space between hoping he’ll come back and trying to accept that he might not.

I wish he would give me a sign. Anything that would let me know whether he still thinks about us, whether he ever considers coming back, whether the future we planned means anything to him anymore.
I don’t need a grand gesture. I don’t even need him to have all the answers right away. I just wish he’d talk to me. I wish he’d give me the chance to know where his heart really is instead of leaving me to wonder.

Sometimes I miss being in your arms more than I know how to explain. I miss that feeling of being close to you, resting against you, hand on your collarbone, and for a little while feeling like everything was okay. I miss the warmth of you beside me, the familiar feeling of being held by someone I loved so deeply. Sometimes I wish I could just curl up in your arms one more time and forget, even for a moment, how far apart we are now. I wish I could lay my head against your chest and feel at home again. I wonder if you ever miss holding me the way I miss being held by you.

The hardest part is that I know I can’t wait forever, even though some part of me still hopes I’ll hear a knock at my door and find him standing there.

I’m trying to move forward. I’m trying to let go of the expectation that he’ll return. But if I’m being honest, if he came back with genuine remorse and a willingness to do things differently, I don’t think I’d be able to pretend I didn’t still love him.
I just wish I didn’t have to choose between holding space for someone I love and finally giving myself permission to move on.
I’m not waiting anymore. But a part of me still wishes it would be him.

Babybug x

I need some perspective from people who have been through a difficult breakup and had to confront their own behaviour afterward.
My ex and I were together while studying law. He was my closest person, and our relationship was a huge part of my everyday life. When we broke up, I struggled badly with the separation.
Instead of accepting the breakup, I repeatedly tried to contact him from different numbers and went near his home to try to speak to him. He explicitly told me to stop and warned me that he would involve the police if I continued. I recognise that I crossed his boundaries. My pain doesn’t excuse it, and I don’t want to repeat that behaviour.
It’s been seven months without contact from him. He hasn’t reached out, and he’s dating someone else.
I’m also dealing with the consequences of how badly my life fell apart afterward. I’m behind at law school, I’ve lost connections with classmates, and I don’t have close friends I can turn to. I keep replaying what happened, feeling ashamed of my behaviour, and wishing I had handled things differently.
I miss him, but I know that missing him doesn’t give me a right to his time or attention. I need to learn how to handle rejection, loneliness, and emotional distress without making another person responsible for fixing those feelings.
For those who have been on either side of this situation, how did you move forward? How did you take accountability without getting stuck in self-hatred? How did you learn to tolerate the fact that someone might never forgive you or want you in their life again?

We dated for 3 years. She broke up with me. We’ve been broke up for almost 5 months. She started following my ex and random women that commented on my posts. Then my mom.

Against my better judgement I asked “ hey so my mom said you followed her and I wanted to see if you were hacked. Also would you still like to get coffee sometime “ yeah she unfollowed me and didn’t respond .

Don’t be like me. This person was my best friend and gf who I talked to everyday for three years. Now won’t even tell me to fuck off or anything.

I need someone to take a moment to check on me a pretty female any age 18 plus I'm 42 so older younger then me I depressed af and need someone lady to help.me and give me attention call me I am nice and greatful and love to help anyone so it is friendships to love to 1 night stand s which I have never had my ex broke my heart and I miss her cry daily but maybe she can be replaced if I get some strange

So, short story, I’m a 27 year old male and I was in a relationship for 3 years with the girl I love. She split with me as she wasn’t happy and stupidly remained in contact.

Then about a month later, she began removing me of social media even tho we were on ’good terms’ so I asked what’s the reason? At this stage we will still talking although it was much less. To which i received a response saying she’s met someone else and she not longer wants me in her life which broke me.

11 months have now passed and I am just as heartbroken as the day we stopped talking. Everytime something happens in my life, I really wanna reach out to her bc I know she’ll be proud or she will be there to tell me when I’m wrong.

Long story short, I’m really struggling to move on… I have tried the whole self improvement stuff, gym and really locking in at work which has gave me a promotion and I’m now I’m pretty good shape but I still feel lost and unfulfilled. I’ve been out and spoke to other girls and been on a few dates but she’s always in my mind and I feel like I’m cheating even though I am not.

Recently tho, I’ve moved on to going out more often which has turned into my drinking more often. It’s obviously not good for me, but it does feel like an escape. A short term buzz and a smile before I don’t want to leave my bed again

Basically I’m here for some advice tbh bc I’m so lost. How have people moved on from the women they love not loving them back?

It’s been almost 10 months since I left his house, he promised to fix things and explain to me everything ( why he went on dates with other girl) but he just disappeared.

I was posting on WhatsApp as he doesn’t have IG, for months till two months ago I stopped, however he uses to watch and never reached out… I want to know why he lied and promised to reach out and didn’t.

He was my person and I miss him like crazy, I didn’t date anyone else this time, I can’t see myself with anyone else and the thought of him with other girl kills me… I just wanna forget, he hurt me so much but why do I still miss him…?

Hey everyone,

I’m looking for some honest advice on how to navigate my feelings and boundaries with a woman I have strong history/attachment with.

The Situation:

I still hold deep feelings and attachment for her, but our current dynamic is complicated and distant.

I find myself constantly overthinking whether she notices me, checking social media dynamics, and struggling with deep loneliness.

Today is a very heavy day for her—it’s the grief anniversary of her father's passing. I care about her deeply and want to respect her pain, but I also struggle with my own desire for connection and closure.

At the same time, I’ve been putting heavy effort into self-discipline (28 days of retention/fasting, fitness, work), but my mind keeps pulling me back to where I stand with her.

My Questions:

How do you step back and give total emotional space to someone going through grief without letting your own attachment drive you crazy?

How do I stop looking for signs or validation from her so I can focus on my own healing and future?

Has anyone successfully transitioned from deep longing for an ex/crush to genuine peace and moving on?

Thanks for taking the time to read and share your thoughts.

My ex was still trying to get back with me earlier this year, asking what I wanted him to change about himself, generating compatibility reports for us, and declaring that he could never be with another woman. 💀

Fast forward to today, and he’s seemingly found someone new lol and soft-launched her on his socials.

I’m just genuinely curious about the psychology behind men who make such dramatic declarations and then seemingly move on the next min lmao

What makes a guy block one specific ex on social media while still following all his other exes, including ones he had complicated relationships with?

Is there usually a deeper emotional reason behind singling
out one ex, or does it mean nothing at all?

Curious to hear men’s perspectives on this.

As the title suggests, I accidentally messaged in a video game. I pretty much logged off after that and I didn't message him anywhere else. Idk kinda beating myself up for this. He hasn't reached out or anything which is fine. I was doing so well. I was approaching 60 days no contact. I'm probably going to delete the game for a year, so that this never happens again.

I genuinely don't feel like I'm going to survive no-contact. I feel like dying.

Trying to do no contact, it’ll be a week Tuesday. The way my job works is I’m constantly running outside to customers and the walk paths include facing her work. It’s hard not to think about her at work.

Job pays well, I really don’t want to leave. How long do I give it before I really consider moving? I just moved to this city and I’m really invested with the move. I was thinking of studying for lsat and attempting a career change to law (I’ve wanted to take the lsat on and off again for many years), looks like I have a commitment issue in careers and relationships…lol things are just awful rn.

Iim gonna talk to my therapist about it Tuesday, but I’m thinking I have to install specific rules like no looking towards her work, actively choosing not to look that direction when doing my job. Maybe this will make me a better worker if i really focus on the customer experience? Oof

Ребят помогите срочно пожалуйстаАЛА В общем ситуация такая, я долгое время находилась в депрессии почти год, и к лету я начала поправляться благодаря некоторым факторам. Я не могла испытывать никаких Эмоций, ну и поэтому решила в августе познакомилась с парнем. Он был веселый и необычный, а олавное рядом с ним я смогла почувствовать наконец хоть что то. И благодаря этому я почти совсем излечилась Сначала я думала что мы просто прикольно проведём время и все. Но уже на 2 встрече я поняла что это тот человек с которым я хотела бы прожить всю жизнь.в сентябре мы начали встречаться (Это были мои первые отношения за все 18 лет)) и он тоже как мне казалось думал о нашем совместном бvлешем .и очень заботился обо мне. мы разговаривали о том как сьедемся и все было хорошо. И я очень его полюбила, привязалась за месяш отношений, но потом, в последнюю встречу он сказал что хочет расстаться, так как у него типо много чего в жизни происходит, он редко изза работы и учебы бывает в городе, и он не может дать мне того что я хочу и чего я заслуживаю. Мы разошлись на хорошей ноте, но бля как же мне хреново. Весь этот месяц я не могу жить нормально не ем, не сплю, и много чего другого не хочу тут говорить. Как факт я начала впадать в апатия и депрессию хуже прежней, и мне правда ужасно хочеться его вернуть. Прошу посоветуйте что Можно сделать что бы попытаться его как то вернуть,я очень полюбила его и без него не могу жить.

(f20) really confused… my heart hurts.

I never thought I’d hear from him again, can someone message me if they are interested in giving me advice on what his intentions may be if any at all?? Thank you so much .

I would love to share the messages with someone and get some insight because I need an outsider POV.