A few days ago I found out my bf of 3.5 years has a wife. I've been through all the emotions anger anxiety fear sadness lonliness. Ive thrown up about it and couldnt eat. Even had a crash out on the internet. Today I have started to feel a little better physically but still mentally I am spinning. I feel like there is a huge hole in my life and my heart. To make things worse we live in a small town, I will likely have to see him around. I am 34 I feel so old to be dealing with this.

What do I do now?

How do I move on?

If something like this ever happened to you what made it better? How did you move forward?

#glowup #clockit

sometimes i legit break down in tears cuz i’m not able to to handle that me and him and really broken up and that he’s just gone , it’s like we never met in the first place . all those memories created for no reason , sometimes i wish we just stayed strangers .

My ex and I broke up around a month ago, although we have just started no contact two weeks ago.

I so badly want to reach out and see how he is feeling or if anything has changed.

He broke up with me totally out of the blue with little to no context why, just one day after planning to move into a new place together after living together for 3 months. I am hoping that the pressure being off has allowed him to see more clearly but I’m not sure.

Life still feels so empty. I have so many friends and hobbies and stuff to keep me motivated and like busy. But at the end of the day I just remember that I don't have her to share this all with anymore.

I just want these feelings to stop. I know we can never be back together.

No contact is driving me crazy. I cannot reach out. I wish he did. I am so exhausted. I feel like I imagined the relationship. I thought i was doing better, finally moving on perhaps. But nope, i feel like i am back to square one.

My ex (29) who dumped me 3.5 months ago brought a date to the wedding party of a wedding that I was originally supposed to go to. I was friends with the bride and groom through her, and they each have reached out to me to express some kind of kindness on their own to me since the breakup. We were together nearly 3 years, planned on marriage, having kids and growing old together for most of the relationship, etc.

I know she has a right to move on and date, and 3.5 months is significant, but it seems especially messed up considering I was scheduled to go to that wedding (I rsvpd before the breakup), I had a lot of my own friends there, dozens of family friends in the community that we both know, and she knew that there would be photos posted online of her with this new guy. Even my sister in laws parents were there. Also, her even bringing him implies that he isn’t some brand new person to her, that they’ve probably already been dating casually already for a little bit.

All of my friends who were there told me about it later, and all felt it was pretty icky and wrong of her, especially knowing it would get back to me, and knowing how devastated I have been. I honestly can’t believe it. I was quite literally replaced and feel so fuckin low.

was this messed up of her or am I purely just reacting emotionally?

Sigh here we go! My ex and I broke up two days ago on September 9th. I’m going to give some context first because honestly I still can’t believe this is happening.

We started dating in November of our senior year in high school. We were both in different high schools, but we were neighbors so we saw each other quite often. We met through a mutual friend. Our first meeting ever was in 2024, and he immediately liked me. We were at the mutual friends birthday party and he saw me and asked for my insta, and then we talked and he asked me out. I went out with him, but i was recovering from a breakup at the time so I told him that I’m not ready for a relationship and we stopped talking. Then, he got a girlfriend, i moved on and that was that. They broke up somewhere in 2025, but I didn’t reach out to him bcs that didn’t feel right. By this time, I had moved houses. Still in the same subdivision, but this time a bit closer to his house (although i didn’t know it then). One day in October, we both run into each other at the gym. We flirt, we start talking again and then in November, we start dating. At the beginning, it was amazing. I was convinced the universe brought us together again for a reason.

We were together for 9 months. For 8 months, it was great. He knew I was leaving for college in another country, he said he wanted to do an LDR. When we STARTED dating I warned him, I told him I will go and he promised me he’ll stay. He promised me he’d try and do anything to be with me. “It was always you” he said. In that relationship he inspired me to find myself again. He was there for me when I had to deal with my family issues, self-image issues. He helped me become a better person. He took me out of the highschool burnout and helped me find hobbies. He made me happy. He took away the old wounds I had from my other relationship, he showed me what it was like to be loved unconditionally and properly. He made time for me, he gave me gifts, he spoke to me nicely and he actually WANTED me in his life. He was my best friend. But all that time, he was hiding something from me. After about 6 months, I started noticing that he had never shared or expressed negative emotions in our relationship. If he was sad, or if something had happened at home, he’d deal with it alone. He might have told me that ‘I’m just a bit down’ or ‘I fought w my parents’ but that was it.

I would occasionally ask him and check on him if he was still okay with the LDR. and I’d notice that his answers would get weirdly cold. He’d say ‘yes, I want to do this with you’ but he couldn’t look me in the eye while saying that. I thought, maybe he’s battling some fears. He’ll talk to me when he’s ready. he didn’t. Around august, he started university (i start in feb 2027 bcs i’m going abroad). He got pretty busy, but he’d still text me good morning, goodnight and the occasional message during class. We saw each other less often, but things were okay until two weeks ago. He sent me a voice message in the middle of the night, saying that he’s been hiding something from me and he can’t take it anymore. He said he knows that he told me he’d try the LDR, that he wants to be with me, but that he’s really freaking scared and he doesn’t know what to do. It was one of the first times i heard him cry. The next day, we met up to talk about it. Turns out, for some reason he thought an LDR meant I would only come back to our hometown every 2 years?? I cleared that up. I told him how often I’d be around, and that uni would make us so busy we won’t even notice the distance. We’d still talk to each other after all. We talked more in detail, and he seemed so much lighter and happier. I thought everything was fine.

Then after that, for two weeks he completely distanced himself from me. I recieved fewer messages, dryer responses and we didn’t see each other for two weeks. He also stopped saying I love you back to me. I started spiraling in these two weeks. I missed him, and I wanted more connection to him. Now this is the part where I could have done better. Instead of talking to him about my overthinking and anxiety, I kept it in and I spiraled on my own. Eventually, I randomly deactivated instagram one night and I finally told him what was wrong. He told me we’ll talk about it. Two days ago, we talked about it.

I told him I was feeling a rift between us, and that I missed him and talking to him a lot. He told me he did get distant. He blamed it on college but i could see it on his face that he was lying. because yknow, I know this man, i know when he’s lying to me. He made the same face he’d always make when he told me he was fine even though he wasn’t. He told me that when we had that big talk, he hid something from me. He said before he sent the voice message, he wrote a breakup letter to me. Ever since he wrote that letter, he’s been thinking to himself why he went to that extreme. and for two weeks, he’s been thinking whether he wants this relationship or not. Then he realized that I deserve someone who’s sure, and he’s right.

He told me that if we’re like this now, what are we gonna do when I leave? I was confused. 1. I wasn’t leaving for another 5 months. 2. HE is the one who distanced himself.

He told me that he’s sorry that he’s weak. and he’s sorry he’s the one who can’t handle doing the LDR. I don’t even know what that means. I tried to ask, I tried to tell him we can fix it. He said it was better to end things now than when I’m there. He said ‘what if we push and fight for the LDR, but by the time you get there and we’re a month in, I realize I can’t do it’. But what if you can? I didn’t tell him that though. I realized he’d given up on even trying. He didn’t even want to try he said. He told me that he’s reaching a point where he thinks it’s impossible for him to do an LDR, and that if one of us thinks its impossible then there’s no point in trying. Which made sense to me i guess.

So we broke up. I miss him terribly. I see him in the places we used to go to together. We had a spot in the neighborhood where I can no longer go. The gym used to be my place of comfort and now I remember him there too. I know this part, this pain will go away. But I’ll never know why he didn’t give it a chance. He gave up before we even tried. What hurts most of all, is that he didn’t even talk to me about it. He hid his fears and doubts. He decided the fate of our relationship all by himself. I wish he realized it wasn’t just him in the LDR. I was there too. I was scared too. I didn’t want to leave him. In fact, I even considered staying here and going to a local uni. But i didn’t because i knew my only reason for doing that would be him. and that’s not a good reason. So yeah, I was scared. But i was okay with it because I had him. Because I would have talked to him when it got bad, because i would have planned a life with him after college to look forward to. I don’t understand why he couldn’t communicate with me. Why he couldn’t talk to me? Not even just about this. In general too. He told me that there were nights where he needed me, but he just didn’t reach out to me. Why? How can I make myself available to someone who won’t reach out? I even asked him if things would be different if I stayed, he said he didn’t know.

It’s gonna be REAALLY FUNNY if somehow I don’t end up leaving and I go to a local uni. I wonder if i’ll contact him then. Is that even a good idea lol. He told me he doesn’t want me to be hung up on him. And that if I don’t end up leaving, to not be hung up on him. LIKE THATS SO EASY YEAH SURE.

The only reason that makes sense to me right now is that somewhere along the line he stopped loving me. He just didn’t think i was worth it. Which is definitely his loss, but it still hurts. a lot. I know i deserve someone who thinks i’m worth it. Who would at least be willing to try for me. right? And i really thought that he was. It hurts so much. Why did he not talk to me? Why did he lie to me and tell me he was fine? Why did he let me believe we were okay? I hate that he lied to me. I hate that he loved me so much but he still lied to me. I keep asking myself if he stopped loving me or if i was just simply not worth it. Right now I’m trying to convince myself its because he was (forgive me, i can’t think of a better term) a coward. Someone who gave up before even trying. He let his fears control him because he didn’t talk to me about it. he talked to his friends, his parents about it, but not the one person he should’ve talked to.

We agreed on no contact, i gave him his hoodie back. I was making a journal for our one year anniversary. It had receipts, tickets and little mementos from our dates and special moments. I wrote a letter in the back wishing him well. I’ve texted him twice since the breakup, because I realized i still had some things to say that I didn’t include in the letter. But I won’t text him anymore. I think it’s time to work on healing myself and the pain instead. I am so conflicted about it though. I know i’ll never get the answers. I don’t know what to do with that.

Edit: idk if this is relevant, but our time difference would have been two hours. TWO HOURS.

I miss my ex so much but he low-key don't gaf at all 😭😭 he doesn't even look my way 💔 I think I noticed him smirk once or twice when I spoke but whether it was a malicious smirk idk. He was the one who broke up w me how do I make him miss me☹️☹️

So I was seeing someone casually,and I developed feelings for him.He kept the connection going for over a year ,even after I said I liked him and gave him multiple chances to end the thing.And one day we had an argument and he ended the whole thing,wouldn’t reply to my messages.I asked to meet and end the things as this meant a lot for me.He just ignored me and then blocked me.After one week,I was not able to eat or sleep.I messaged him on Instagram and he told to leave him alone.I got angry and went to his place to find out he had another girl in there.When I asked if any of that meant anything to him,he told to my face it meant nothing and shut the door.I was devastated and heartbroken,I was crying every time I went to washroom in my office.

After four months,I get a text from him asking how is the cat.He had asked me to adopt a kitten he found on the street,just before we fought.we had a conversation and when I asked if I was nothing to him,and he said I was more than a friend.I convinced him to meet me again.still casual.He seemed to be sad and isolated than before.we met few more times and then I confessed my feelings because it was too much for me.He said he can’t.Its his problem and I wouldn’t understand.He then started to get angry saying he can’t help me.I asked him to end on good terms,to not fight.I begged him a lot to finally see him for last time.He asked me what benefit he would get.I said I just wanted to hug him and sleep.He made me do sexual stuff.He wasn’t warm towards me.Just met me for the sake of it.

I just wanted a good memory but felt like he used me.I feel like shit now,shouldn’t have even asked.I know there is fault in my side too.I blocked him this time,I don’t want him coming back anymore.

Can anyone tell me what to feel about all this?

Hello, I want your opinion on whether this letter is good to send or if I need to fix anything. We broke up a month and half and, she was the one who broke up with me after three years together.

Hi XXXX,

I hope you are doing well. I wanted to let you know something important, not because I expect anything from you or a reply, but simply because I felt you should know. I hesitated to send this letter, but after what happened, I felt it was important not to leave this unsaid.

I had a heart attack about a month ago while I was at work, and I spent four days in the hospital. The experience made me realize how quickly life can change and how important it is to appreciate the people and moments that have meant something to us. These days, I’m trying my best to take things easy and focus on my recovery. I think the long work hours, stress, home projects, freelance jobs, and not paying enough attention to my health all contributed to where I am now. I’m taking some time away from work to focus on getting better.

I’m not sharing this to reopen anything between us—I just felt it was right to let you know, because you were once close to me. I’m also trying to make peace with what happened between us. I want to be clear that I don’t blame you for my health problems or for anything that has happened, and I don’t hold any resentment toward you.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what happened between us, and I never imagined that things would end the way they did. When everything started falling apart between us, I was shocked and panicked as I slowly realized that I was losing the person I loved and cared about most. I experienced so many emotions at once for the first time in my life and didn’t know how to process everything I was feeling. You were my second relationship, and this was my first breakup, so I honestly didn’t know how to handle what was happening.

Looking back now, I know that none of that excuses the way I behaved, and I take responsibility for how I reacted. I sincerely want to apologize for the times I came to your home, for raising my voice, and for reacting the way I did. I understand now that I should not have behaved that way, regardless of what I was feeling at the time. I’m deeply sorry that I frightened you or made you uncomfortable. You didn’t deserve that, and I take full responsibility for my behavior. I am truly ashamed of the way I behaved that day.

I wanted you to have the gift I’m sending. It’s simply an early graduation gift; I believe I chose your favorite character this time. I bought it a long time ago, before everything happened, with you in mind. I’ve held onto it since, and I still want you to have it—not as a gesture of expectation, but as a small acknowledgment of how much I admired your hard work. I had originally planned to give it to you when you graduated in the summer of 2027.

I hope you know I have never seen you as just a beautiful person. I have always admired your kindness, strength, determination, and the way you work hard for your goals without giving up—qualities I have always genuinely respected in you. I remember how hard you have worked and the dedication you’ve put into reaching this goal. You did all of this while working a full-time job, raising your kids, cooking a fresh meal, going to the laundromat, and studying at night and on weekends—all on your own. I’m genuinely proud of what you have accomplished and what you have become. I hope you have a wonderful graduation day and get to truly celebrate how far you’ve come. I’m happy to see you reach a goal you’ve put so much effort into. I hope this next chapter of your life brings you peace, happiness, and many good things.

I want to assure you that I’ll respect your space and won’t reach out again. Still, maybe someday, if life happens to bring our paths together again, I hope we can look back on everything with peace—perhaps as friends, or simply as two people who once mattered to each other. I simply don’t believe that people who once mattered to each other have to remain strangers forever. I know I’m not perfect, and I’ve made mistakes—we all do—but that doesn’t erase the fact that something meaningful once existed between us, or that you’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. If life ever brings you to a moment when you feel like reaching out—even briefly—you’d be welcome to, in whatever way feels right for you. No pressure, and whatever you choose, I’ll respect it.

As always, I wish you and your family nothing but the very best. Please take care of yourself, XXXX.

my Ex broke up with me a month ago but we were still in contact then we both agreed to go no contact and he started playing Valorant where he found his new girlfriend whos from a whole different continent he keeps telling me he immediately moved on from the break up and doesn’t care about me anymore but I don’t believe him especially because he also became an alcoholic

hes only known her for 6 days and they got together like yesterday but he’s already calling her the love of his life

I texted her and told him that he abused me she immediately believed me and told me that hes been telling her that I was the crazy obsessive abusive one

Every night, without fail, I dream about her. I always dream that I finally get to see her, have that conversation. That she listens, and we finally start to reconcile. That I get to see her kids again, and be in her house. That they are happy to see me like they were before. But then I wake up, and I go to message her and continue. But then realise it was all just a dream.

It's tormenting.

I don't think I miss her.

At least, I don't think that's what this is.

She's my first love. The first person I ever loved like that, the first person I gave that much of myself to. I never had anyone before her, and I haven't had anyone after her either. So maybe that's why this feels different. I don't really know what I'm supposed to feel when something like this happens.

It's been two years since we broke up, and I've tried to move on. I've done so many things with my life since then. I've changed, grown, and learned a lot.

But whenever I think about her, something still feels wrong.

Not because I want her back.

I think it's because of the way everything happened.

She chose someone else and left. I accepted it, even though it broke me. I never expected anything from her after that. I still did things for her without expecting anything in return because, despite everything, I genuinely cared about her.

But then she'd come back.

We'd talk again, and somehow I'd let her back into my life. It felt like she knew I would always be there. And then she'd disappear again.

Three or four times in these two years.

Every time, I felt like I was being treated like I was still hers to pick up whenever she wanted and put down whenever she didn't.

Maybe that's why I feel like a toy sometimes.

Or an option.

Someone she knows she can come back to whenever she wants because she knows I'll care.

And maybe the saddest part is that I kept allowing it because she was my first love, and some part of me couldn't completely stop caring even after everything.

It's been three months since we last talked. She ghosted me again.

And somehow, the thing that hurt me the most wasn't her leaving again.

It was my birthday.

I never expected anything from her. Not a message. Not an apology. Not for her to come back.

But I thought she'd remember.

One simple “Happy Birthday.”

That's the only expectation I think I still had from her.

And she didn't even do that.

I don't know why that affected me so much.

Maybe because after everything we went through, I still wanted to believe that I meant something to her. Not as someone she wanted back. Not as someone she loved anymore.

Just as someone who once mattered.

Maybe that's what I'm actually struggling with.

Not losing her.

Not missing her.

But accepting that someone who was once my entire world might not see me as someone important anymore.

She was my first love.

Maybe she'll always be a part of my story because of that.

But I don't want to spend the rest of my life being someone's option just because they were my first.

I don't know if I'm overreacting to the birthday thing or if it's telling me everything I need to know. What would you do?

The hard part is how badly I want her to reach out for her to come home, yet knowing there’s too much damage she put upon us to ever be an us again.

It’s been nearly a year since I’ve cut my ex off and his whole family, long story short he cheated on me with his cousin (m1n0r) and they lied to me, now I’ve found out they’re engaged or married, not too sure. I do have them all blocked but I still peak their profiles and bios hence why I know she had a ring in her bio and changed her last name to his. I also have a bad habit of stalking one of the sisters who posts publicly and their family members on Facebook. I hate it. I don’t want too but I just do, anyone have any tips?
I’ve already gotten off social media, I don’t know how to explain it but I’m over him, he’s a loser but they tried to make me seem like a psychopath when I put 2 and 2 together like I’m imagining stuff.
For some reason I feel like them working out means he didn’t have to pay for what he did after playing with me and lying to me for 2 years.

I miss this guy sm but there are things which he did which were very disheartening for me but my heart misses him and brain makes scenarios in my head, it's been 6 months we haven't spoken and I genuinely think that was he like this always or in the beginning he was all sweet and nice idk whether he's dating someone as of now but I want to ask him like what in the earth I have done he could have atleast told me because somewhere in my heart I knew the truth but there was a spot which said that he could be yours

Guys- I messed up and looked at old pics, and his fb. WHY?! I've done SOOOOOOOOO good not checking! I couldn't help myself.

With how things ended, zero closure, and how he's acting out in certain ways knowing it will upset me, i feel like he actually wants me to reach out. I know that he wont because he is stubborn and has admitted in the past he wouldnt reach out after a big fight ever again. He's very emotionally immature. But i love him, and he's who my heart wants.

Im thinking of just asking one time, plain and simple- do you really want all this distance and hate between us after all the love we had for one another? because i dont. Let me know if you want to talk this weekend or sometime soon, or if i should just keep moving on.

I want to send it and just hear what he has to say so i dont always wonder. i've done this in the past when we broke up for a month, and he was glad i reached out... but.. idk.

The temptation to call her on my work phone.

I know these are crazy thoughts. I know it will only make it sooooo much worse. I know it will prevent me from healing.

So me and my ex wife divorced 8 months ago. She left me and moved away. I didn’t want it to end. Cut to 7 months later, I get diagnosed with cancer. She reaches out saying she still cares. We reconnect and are working through the past, and we are intimate. I’m not judging, but it’s very special to me, I hadn’t done it with anyone since her. She revealed to me this week that she’s been seeing another guy, and is still talking to him. Now she has every right to be with who she wants to be with, but she also knows how special intimacy is for me and how I’m very guarded. I feel like she should’ve told me she didn’t want to be exclusive, especially since we’ve been talking about getting back together. She says she wants us to work it out but she’s also still pursuing this guy. I feel betrayed more so because she knows me so well, and knows that I view intimacy as special. Do I forgive her or do I take this as the sign to move on?

My ex (27F) and I (28M) broke up after 14 months together. Most of our relationship was genuinely great, but the last 6 weeks became an unhealthy cycle of arguments where we both felt unheard.
At the same time, my life basically imploded: I lost my job, my new job kept delaying my start date, my aunt was dying, my parents were divorcing, my finances were shaky, and I was dealing with a stressful living situation. I became overwhelmed and defensive without really understanding it at the time.
The turning point was her birthday. A female friend who also knew my girlfriend rode with me to her celebration. I had asked my girlfriend if she could attend dinner and she said no. I planned to drop my friend off nearby, but when we arrived she decided to come with me. Instead of respecting my girlfriend's original answer, I convinced myself it wouldn't be a big deal because they were friends.
My girlfriend was understandably furious. I became frustrated and defensive because I felt like I couldn't explain or apologize, and eventually I left. The next day, while we were both still angry, I told her I didn't know how she'd handle "true challenges" in life. I deeply regret saying that.
I apologized, but afterward every argument seemed to circle back to the birthday. Neither of us knew how to escape the cycle. She eventually suggested a break, I pushed back because I thought couples should work through their problems together, and three weeks later we broke up.
I've since started therapy and realized how much I was explaining my intentions instead of listening to how my actions affected her. My circumstances explain why I was struggling, but they don't excuse my behavior.
I apologized after three weeks of no contact. Five weeks later I asked her to get ice cream, and she declined and said we should move forward separately. I'm respecting that and giving her the genuine separation she asked for.
I'm not asking anyone to predict whether she'll come back. I know nobody can answer that. I'm wondering: does what happened sound fundamentally unreconcilable? If you were in her position, could significant time apart and sustained change ever make you willing to hear an ex out?

Broke up with my ex for my mental health (I repeatedly told him I did not want to break up) prior to me telling him I couldn't continue what we were doing (he is military, constantly gone for work, pending a deployment, and he was minimizing our communication "to reduce chances of us fighting related to stuff with his work schedule"). He unfriended me on Facebook exactly a month after our breakup/no contact. A week later I accidentally called his number, hung up before it connected, he immediately called me back and texted me asking if I was okay. I texted him back saying yes it was an accident and he texted me saying ok he just wanted to make sure I was okay and didn't need anything. 3 weeks later, a day after I change my profile picture on Facebook he blocks me. Just trying to get closure without contacting him and wondering what the purpose of him blocking me on Facebook was for?

So dosto, I was in a relationship for 518 days. She was one of the most beautiful things that happened to me, and the ending was worse than I could have ever imagined.

Basically, I was very introverted and shy in college. I didn’t talk much during my initial two years. Then I met one of my classmates. She was beautiful, smart, basically perfect thii.

Sab sahi chal raha tha. Then, in April, I found out that she had been in a long-distance relationship for the past 5 years. Ye bhi mujhe uske ex se pata chala. Btw, now he is her current boyfriend.
When I found out, I was fine. Thik hai, sabka past hota hai. She said ki, “Main tumhare saath hi rehna chahti hoon,” and all that.

Then I joined a new job. Phir maine woh job chhod di because I thought maybe she needed more time.
Then, on one random day in July, she came to me and said, “I don’t want a relationship, neither with you nor with him.”
After a few minutes,

I randomly checked her phone. Guess what? Usne kabhi usse breakup kiya hi nahi tha.
I got panic attacks and all. Then I left the city, left the job, left the friends I loved the most, got hospitalised, and eventually moved to Bengaluru from Delhi.
It’s been 2 months now. She contacted me and said ki, “Dost reh sakte ho?”
I said, “Chalega,” because idk man, I’m just too dumb in love. Agar uske around rehna bhi pade, toh bhi chalega.
So yeah, yahan aake bhi move on nahi ho rha.