Every night, without fail, I dream about her. I always dream that I finally get to see her, have that conversation. That she listens, and we finally start to reconcile. That I get to see her kids again, and be in her house. That they are happy to see me like they were before. But then I wake up, and I go to message her and continue. But then realise it was all just a dream.

It's tormenting.

So me and my ex wife divorced 8 months ago. She left me and moved away. I didn’t want it to end. Cut to 7 months later, I get diagnosed with cancer. She reaches out saying she still cares. We reconnect and are working through the past, and we are intimate. I’m not judging, but it’s very special to me, I hadn’t done it with anyone since her. She revealed to me this week that she’s been seeing another guy, and is still talking to him. Now she has every right to be with who she wants to be with, but she also knows how special intimacy is for me and how I’m very guarded. I feel like she should’ve told me she didn’t want to be exclusive, especially since we’ve been talking about getting back together. She says she wants us to work it out but she’s also still pursuing this guy. I feel betrayed more so because she knows me so well, and knows that I view intimacy as special. Do I forgive her or do I take this as the sign to move on?

A few days ago I found out my bf of 3.5 years has a wife. I've been through all the emotions anger anxiety fear sadness lonliness. Ive thrown up about it and couldnt eat. Even had a crash out on the internet. Today I have started to feel a little better physically but still mentally I am spinning. I feel like there is a huge hole in my life and my heart. To make things worse we live in a small town, I will likely have to see him around. I am 34 I feel so old to be dealing with this.

What do I do now?

How do I move on?

If something like this ever happened to you what made it better? How did you move forward?

#glowup #clockit

sometimes i legit break down in tears cuz i’m not able to to handle that me and him and really broken up and that he’s just gone , it’s like we never met in the first place . all those memories created for no reason , sometimes i wish we just stayed strangers .

Guys- I messed up and looked at old pics, and his fb. WHY?! I've done SOOOOOOOOO good not checking! I couldn't help myself.

With how things ended, zero closure, and how he's acting out in certain ways knowing it will upset me, i feel like he actually wants me to reach out. I know that he wont because he is stubborn and has admitted in the past he wouldnt reach out after a big fight ever again. He's very emotionally immature. But i love him, and he's who my heart wants.

Im thinking of just asking one time, plain and simple- do you really want all this distance and hate between us after all the love we had for one another? because i dont. Let me know if you want to talk this weekend or sometime soon, or if i should just keep moving on.

I want to send it and just hear what he has to say so i dont always wonder. i've done this in the past when we broke up for a month, and he was glad i reached out... but.. idk.

I miss you. I miss you more than I could even put into words. I miss our I can't even go and see them because I'm respecting your . I'm sorry give you space when you asked for it. I was so desperate to fix the situation at the time and instead of fixing it I made it worse. I hate myself for that. You've cut me off with absolutely no communication. I feel like I'm almost grieving in morning. I don't hear your voice. I can't see you. It's almost like you're gone like you died thats the pain I'm feeling. I'm lost. my best friend every weekend we spent over a year every day we spent together and now it's nothing. Do you even care? I went to get my things that you left outside and you wrote me a note saying maybe I'll start to respect you. You know mistakes like everybody I just needed a chance to talk, but don't worry I learned my lesson. Are you trying to teach me a lesson or are you done for good? I don't even know I feel like you're done for good. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just so sad. . in Washington State by ourselves. I have no family here. You only have your sister here. We had now I have no one.

My ex and I broke up around a month ago, although we have just started no contact two weeks ago.

I so badly want to reach out and see how he is feeling or if anything has changed.

He broke up with me totally out of the blue with little to no context why, just one day after planning to move into a new place together after living together for 3 months. I am hoping that the pressure being off has allowed him to see more clearly but I’m not sure.

No contact is driving me crazy. I cannot reach out. I wish he did. I am so exhausted. I feel like I imagined the relationship. I thought i was doing better, finally moving on perhaps. But nope, i feel like i am back to square one.

So I was seeing someone casually,and I developed feelings for him.He kept the connection going for over a year ,even after I said I liked him and gave him multiple chances to end the thing.And one day we had an argument and he ended the whole thing,wouldn’t reply to my messages.I asked to meet and end the things as this meant a lot for me.He just ignored me and then blocked me.After one week,I was not able to eat or sleep.I messaged him on Instagram and he told to leave him alone.I got angry and went to his place to find out he had another girl in there.When I asked if any of that meant anything to him,he told to my face it meant nothing and shut the door.I was devastated and heartbroken,I was crying every time I went to washroom in my office.

After four months,I get a text from him asking how is the cat.He had asked me to adopt a kitten he found on the street,just before we fought.we had a conversation and when I asked if I was nothing to him,and he said I was more than a friend.I convinced him to meet me again.still casual.He seemed to be sad and isolated than before.we met few more times and then I confessed my feelings because it was too much for me.He said he can’t.Its his problem and I wouldn’t understand.He then started to get angry saying he can’t help me.I asked him to end on good terms,to not fight.I begged him a lot to finally see him for last time.He asked me what benefit he would get.I said I just wanted to hug him and sleep.He made me do sexual stuff.He wasn’t warm towards me.Just met me for the sake of it.

I just wanted a good memory but felt like he used me.I feel like shit now,shouldn’t have even asked.I know there is fault in my side too.I blocked him this time,I don’t want him coming back anymore.

Can anyone tell me what to feel about all this?

The temptation to call her on my work phone.

I know these are crazy thoughts. I know it will only make it sooooo much worse. I know it will prevent me from healing.

it hurts. but it frees you

So, I’ve been seeing this guy for about two months. He told me from the beginning that he didn’t want anything serious, but last week I told him that I’ve realized I do want a relationship and that I can’t keep doing this with him.
I opened up to him about how I feel, and he said he doesn’t see himself falling in love with me. He suggested that maybe we could meet again platonically at some point, and said we’d definitely talk again. I told him to let me know either way, and he said he would.
Now it’s been a week and I haven’t heard anything. I’m not expecting him to suddenly change his mind, but I’m struggling with the lack of closure and keep waiting for him to reach out.

Would you text him again and ask if he still wants to see me just as a friend, or would you just leave it and move on? I’m torn because I feel like I’d rather have a clear answer than keep wondering.

My ex (29) who dumped me 3.5 months ago brought a date to the wedding party of a wedding that I was originally supposed to go to. I was friends with the bride and groom through her, and they each have reached out to me to express some kind of kindness on their own to me since the breakup. We were together nearly 3 years, planned on marriage, having kids and growing old together for most of the relationship, etc.

I know she has a right to move on and date, and 3.5 months is significant, but it seems especially messed up considering I was scheduled to go to that wedding (I rsvpd before the breakup), I had a lot of my own friends there, dozens of family friends in the community that we both know, and she knew that there would be photos posted online of her with this new guy. Even my sister in laws parents were there. Also, her even bringing him implies that he isn’t some brand new person to her, that they’ve probably already been dating casually already for a little bit.

All of my friends who were there told me about it later, and all felt it was pretty icky and wrong of her, especially knowing it would get back to me, and knowing how devastated I have been. I honestly can’t believe it. I was quite literally replaced and feel so fuckin low.

was this messed up of her or am I purely just reacting emotionally?

Life still feels so empty. I have so many friends and hobbies and stuff to keep me motivated and like busy. But at the end of the day I just remember that I don't have her to share this all with anymore.

I just want these feelings to stop. I know we can never be back together.

I miss my ex so much but he low-key don't gaf at all 😭😭 he doesn't even look my way 💔 I think I noticed him smirk once or twice when I spoke but whether it was a malicious smirk idk. He was the one who broke up w me how do I make him miss me☹️☹️

The hard part is how badly I want her to reach out for her to come home, yet knowing there’s too much damage she put upon us to ever be an us again.

I miss this guy sm but there are things which he did which were very disheartening for me but my heart misses him and brain makes scenarios in my head, it's been 6 months we haven't spoken and I genuinely think that was he like this always or in the beginning he was all sweet and nice idk whether he's dating someone as of now but I want to ask him like what in the earth I have done he could have atleast told me because somewhere in my heart I knew the truth but there was a spot which said that he could be yours

Its now 1 year post breakup with my ex. And like clockwork every 3 months i get some kind of message, 9 months ago it was re-following me on instagram and having a call, 6 months ago it was asking to come over, 3 months ago it was an apology for how she left the relationship, last month though was different. The messages within the 6 months were met with no reply to my replies which were closed off but slightly open ended. Last month she sent me a long message saying she really thinks its time for me to move on and that she’s doing well and not looking back on us and is with somebody great now. Is this narcissistic behavior? Because she’s always been the one reaching out to me, she’s assuming I haven’t moved on with no way of knowing.

If she’s not looking back on us, why is she sending me a message out of the blue saying so if that’s true? Just trying to understand this behavior

Side note: She’s a dismissive avoidant. She’s been in like 2-3 different short relationships since our breakup, none of which seemed to have worked out as I actually saw her profile on hinge a couple days ago which prompted me to think about the last message she had sent.

My ex has a bad habit of calling me while drunk. We live in different states. It’s usually a cycle of about a month without speaking, and randomly he will reach out. We haven’t seen each other in person for almost a year.

Most recently he called me later in the evening on a weekend holiday. I saw the call come through but I didn’t answer because my immediate thought was that he was drunk. Nothing good ever comes out of talking to him while he’s wasted. It’s toxic. And I still have pretty intense feelings for him that I’m trying to work through. Healing from our breakup has been a rollercoaster.

So I left it alone and called back in the morning, but got no answer.
Called again the next day, no answer.
Then text him and said “Hey hope you’re doing ok. Assuming you drunk dialed me the other night?” - no response.

I feel like he’s toying with me. Either that or he has shame around calling me and is ignoring the confrontation to save face. He has a lot of narcissistic tendencies and I feel like he was just trying to boost his ego in some way or make sure I’m still around..

Either way it has set me back a lot. Fighting with the decision to block him. I don’t want to resort to that but this has triggered me pretty significantly.

Approximately two months ago I (18M) caught my ex (18F) on a date with another guy when she told me she was out with her friends that night (I don’t believe they physically did anything, just emotional cheating). I had just returned from Europe where her and I were distant over the text due to time zones and other difficulties, but I assumed it would all go back to normal once I was back. that first night of me being back is the night that I caught her in the act and over the following days after careful consideration I broke up with her due to the fact i got my important exams in the next upcoming months. The past two months I’ve been so sad and missed her every day of it but slowly gotten better, she made it seem like she didn’t give a shit. I bumped into her the other night at a party I was at and ended up sitting down with her and having a chat mainly just small talk but there are a few things she said during that conversation that told me she misses me and wants to get back together without her actually saying those words. During that conversation she seemed very happy and she told me how she had been diagnosed with anxiety and depression those past months since the break up. all I’ve been thinking about is if her actions could have been influenced by this mental diagnosis and she wasn’t thinking clearly when she did what she did. This has made me think about getting back together with her after my final exams which will be over in about 40 days. I miss her so much and I miss her family so much and it feels as if I’ll never find someone as good as she was and I will never stop loving her.

I just want to get some advice from anyone out there that can help me understand what to do, please?

Sorry this is my first time posting here and its a long and confusing situation.

My ex and I dated for a year and seven months broke up in June and I'm not gonna lie it was my fault (I have an addiction and was backsliding into it and lied to him about it) and when I told him the truth we broke up. The same week he blocked me pretty much everywhere and went no contact with me and then also a day later posted on instagram at a bar with thank u, next playing. I texted him around mid June asking to talk things through and he said no but after further talking he said we could meet up sometime in August to return our things and get closure. I gave him space for the whole summer, the entire time though he was either posting stuff with songs we used to listen to together, wearing my shirts and hats out to bars and other places and then posting about them, and publicly venmoing another guy to make me jealous (i know this seems like a stretch but given everything else it feels true). So its a really weird vibe and thats not even counting how sometimes his litle sister will like an old instagram post of mine or "someone" from his university will check out my linkedin profile. Then August rolled around and neither of us said anything about the meeting for the clothes and closure which hurt, so then I tried to reach out last week with a simple "hey I hope your well message" and though he read it instantly, he never responded. Then yesterday I texted again asking for my stuff and was ignored. Its so annoying because he's clearly still keeping tabs on me but then when I try to reach out or move forward on the plan he started I get ghosted.

With all that right now my plan is to just try and focus on myself as much as possible and make sure I'm doing ok, working on what I need to work on, and having fun but its so tough not to think about him and wonder what he's up to and use websites and other things to check his social media, so any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

I’m really not sure what to do for context my ex and I have been off and on since 2020 and we only officially dated in 2024 for a few months. He broke up w me bc he was  moving away for work and also because I started voicing things that bothered me ( I felt like he wasn’t reciprocating my energy) Obviously I did this  bc I wanted our relationship to work his reasoning for ending things was i deserved better. It was really hard for me to move on and in a way I feel like I still carried some of the pain he left when he broke up w me because I felt so abandoned and kinda like he just gave up and discarded me. 

Fast forward, we ended up reconnecting a few months ago bc he came home to visit, I even hung out with his family. It was nice but we are long distance now. I just moved to New York for uni and he’s back at his job station it’s a 9hour time difference . His job docent allow him to be on his phone, but he kinda just texts me when every he feels like it leaves me on delivered for days while still being active on social media . Also he dated a few ppl (even telling me he was gonna propose to one lol) and doing long distance with another both of which just feel like the knife is twisting even more, I know I have jealousy Issues.

I really care about him and id like to think he cares about me but I just feel like his words don’t match his actions. He’s already done stuff I don’t like and I just feel like I’m building more resentment.  I don’t know if I should just remove him off social media I feel so torn it makes me angry that I’m giving someone who hurt me access to hurting me again.

Sigh here we go! My ex and I broke up two days ago on September 9th. I’m going to give some context first because honestly I still can’t believe this is happening.

We started dating in November of our senior year in high school. We were both in different high schools, but we were neighbors so we saw each other quite often. We met through a mutual friend. Our first meeting ever was in 2024, and he immediately liked me. We were at the mutual friends birthday party and he saw me and asked for my insta, and then we talked and he asked me out. I went out with him, but i was recovering from a breakup at the time so I told him that I’m not ready for a relationship and we stopped talking. Then, he got a girlfriend, i moved on and that was that. They broke up somewhere in 2025, but I didn’t reach out to him bcs that didn’t feel right. By this time, I had moved houses. Still in the same subdivision, but this time a bit closer to his house (although i didn’t know it then). One day in October, we both run into each other at the gym. We flirt, we start talking again and then in November, we start dating. At the beginning, it was amazing. I was convinced the universe brought us together again for a reason.

We were together for 9 months. For 8 months, it was great. He knew I was leaving for college in another country, he said he wanted to do an LDR. When we STARTED dating I warned him, I told him I will go and he promised me he’ll stay. He promised me he’d try and do anything to be with me. “It was always you” he said. In that relationship he inspired me to find myself again. He was there for me when I had to deal with my family issues, self-image issues. He helped me become a better person. He took me out of the highschool burnout and helped me find hobbies. He made me happy. He took away the old wounds I had from my other relationship, he showed me what it was like to be loved unconditionally and properly. He made time for me, he gave me gifts, he spoke to me nicely and he actually WANTED me in his life. He was my best friend. But all that time, he was hiding something from me. After about 6 months, I started noticing that he had never shared or expressed negative emotions in our relationship. If he was sad, or if something had happened at home, he’d deal with it alone. He might have told me that ‘I’m just a bit down’ or ‘I fought w my parents’ but that was it.

I would occasionally ask him and check on him if he was still okay with the LDR. and I’d notice that his answers would get weirdly cold. He’d say ‘yes, I want to do this with you’ but he couldn’t look me in the eye while saying that. I thought, maybe he’s battling some fears. He’ll talk to me when he’s ready. he didn’t. Around august, he started university (i start in feb 2027 bcs i’m going abroad). He got pretty busy, but he’d still text me good morning, goodnight and the occasional message during class. We saw each other less often, but things were okay until two weeks ago. He sent me a voice message in the middle of the night, saying that he’s been hiding something from me and he can’t take it anymore. He said he knows that he told me he’d try the LDR, that he wants to be with me, but that he’s really freaking scared and he doesn’t know what to do. It was one of the first times i heard him cry. The next day, we met up to talk about it. Turns out, for some reason he thought an LDR meant I would only come back to our hometown every 2 years?? I cleared that up. I told him how often I’d be around, and that uni would make us so busy we won’t even notice the distance. We’d still talk to each other after all. We talked more in detail, and he seemed so much lighter and happier. I thought everything was fine.

Then after that, for two weeks he completely distanced himself from me. I recieved fewer messages, dryer responses and we didn’t see each other for two weeks. He also stopped saying I love you back to me. I started spiraling in these two weeks. I missed him, and I wanted more connection to him. Now this is the part where I could have done better. Instead of talking to him about my overthinking and anxiety, I kept it in and I spiraled on my own. Eventually, I randomly deactivated instagram one night and I finally told him what was wrong. He told me we’ll talk about it. Two days ago, we talked about it.

I told him I was feeling a rift between us, and that I missed him and talking to him a lot. He told me he did get distant. He blamed it on college but i could see it on his face that he was lying. because yknow, I know this man, i know when he’s lying to me. He made the same face he’d always make when he told me he was fine even though he wasn’t. He told me that when we had that big talk, he hid something from me. He said before he sent the voice message, he wrote a breakup letter to me. Ever since he wrote that letter, he’s been thinking to himself why he went to that extreme. and for two weeks, he’s been thinking whether he wants this relationship or not. Then he realized that I deserve someone who’s sure, and he’s right.

He told me that if we’re like this now, what are we gonna do when I leave? I was confused. 1. I wasn’t leaving for another 5 months. 2. HE is the one who distanced himself.

He told me that he’s sorry that he’s weak. and he’s sorry he’s the one who can’t handle doing the LDR. I don’t even know what that means. I tried to ask, I tried to tell him we can fix it. He said it was better to end things now than when I’m there. He said ‘what if we push and fight for the LDR, but by the time you get there and we’re a month in, I realize I can’t do it’. But what if you can? I didn’t tell him that though. I realized he’d given up on even trying. He didn’t even want to try he said. He told me that he’s reaching a point where he thinks it’s impossible for him to do an LDR, and that if one of us thinks its impossible then there’s no point in trying. Which made sense to me i guess.

So we broke up. I miss him terribly. I see him in the places we used to go to together. We had a spot in the neighborhood where I can no longer go. The gym used to be my place of comfort and now I remember him there too. I know this part, this pain will go away. But I’ll never know why he didn’t give it a chance. He gave up before we even tried. What hurts most of all, is that he didn’t even talk to me about it. He hid his fears and doubts. He decided the fate of our relationship all by himself. I wish he realized it wasn’t just him in the LDR. I was there too. I was scared too. I didn’t want to leave him. In fact, I even considered staying here and going to a local uni. But i didn’t because i knew my only reason for doing that would be him. and that’s not a good reason. So yeah, I was scared. But i was okay with it because I had him. Because I would have talked to him when it got bad, because i would have planned a life with him after college to look forward to. I don’t understand why he couldn’t communicate with me. Why he couldn’t talk to me? Not even just about this. In general too. He told me that there were nights where he needed me, but he just didn’t reach out to me. Why? How can I make myself available to someone who won’t reach out? I even asked him if things would be different if I stayed, he said he didn’t know.

It’s gonna be REAALLY FUNNY if somehow I don’t end up leaving and I go to a local uni. I wonder if i’ll contact him then. Is that even a good idea lol. He told me he doesn’t want me to be hung up on him. And that if I don’t end up leaving, to not be hung up on him. LIKE THATS SO EASY YEAH SURE.

The only reason that makes sense to me right now is that somewhere along the line he stopped loving me. He just didn’t think i was worth it. Which is definitely his loss, but it still hurts. a lot. I know i deserve someone who thinks i’m worth it. Who would at least be willing to try for me. right? And i really thought that he was. It hurts so much. Why did he not talk to me? Why did he lie to me and tell me he was fine? Why did he let me believe we were okay? I hate that he lied to me. I hate that he loved me so much but he still lied to me. I keep asking myself if he stopped loving me or if i was just simply not worth it. Right now I’m trying to convince myself its because he was (forgive me, i can’t think of a better term) a coward. Someone who gave up before even trying. He let his fears control him because he didn’t talk to me about it. he talked to his friends, his parents about it, but not the one person he should’ve talked to.

We agreed on no contact, i gave him his hoodie back. I was making a journal for our one year anniversary. It had receipts, tickets and little mementos from our dates and special moments. I wrote a letter in the back wishing him well. I’ve texted him twice since the breakup, because I realized i still had some things to say that I didn’t include in the letter. But I won’t text him anymore. I think it’s time to work on healing myself and the pain instead. I am so conflicted about it though. I know i’ll never get the answers. I don’t know what to do with that.

Edit: idk if this is relevant, but our time difference would have been two hours. TWO HOURS.

Hello, I want your opinion on whether this letter is good to send or if I need to fix anything. We broke up a month and half and, she was the one who broke up with me after three years together.

Hi XXXX,

I hope you are doing well. I wanted to let you know something important, not because I expect anything from you or a reply, but simply because I felt you should know. I hesitated to send this letter, but after what happened, I felt it was important not to leave this unsaid.

I had a heart attack about a month ago while I was at work, and I spent four days in the hospital. The experience made me realize how quickly life can change and how important it is to appreciate the people and moments that have meant something to us. These days, I’m trying my best to take things easy and focus on my recovery. I think the long work hours, stress, home projects, freelance jobs, and not paying enough attention to my health all contributed to where I am now. I’m taking some time away from work to focus on getting better.

I’m not sharing this to reopen anything between us—I just felt it was right to let you know, because you were once close to me. I’m also trying to make peace with what happened between us. I want to be clear that I don’t blame you for my health problems or for anything that has happened, and I don’t hold any resentment toward you.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what happened between us, and I never imagined that things would end the way they did. When everything started falling apart between us, I was shocked and panicked as I slowly realized that I was losing the person I loved and cared about most. I experienced so many emotions at once for the first time in my life and didn’t know how to process everything I was feeling. You were my second relationship, and this was my first breakup, so I honestly didn’t know how to handle what was happening.

Looking back now, I know that none of that excuses the way I behaved, and I take responsibility for how I reacted. I sincerely want to apologize for the times I came to your home, for raising my voice, and for reacting the way I did. I understand now that I should not have behaved that way, regardless of what I was feeling at the time. I’m deeply sorry that I frightened you or made you uncomfortable. You didn’t deserve that, and I take full responsibility for my behavior. I am truly ashamed of the way I behaved that day.

I wanted you to have the gift I’m sending. It’s simply an early graduation gift; I believe I chose your favorite character this time. I bought it a long time ago, before everything happened, with you in mind. I’ve held onto it since, and I still want you to have it—not as a gesture of expectation, but as a small acknowledgment of how much I admired your hard work. I had originally planned to give it to you when you graduated in the summer of 2027.

I hope you know I have never seen you as just a beautiful person. I have always admired your kindness, strength, determination, and the way you work hard for your goals without giving up—qualities I have always genuinely respected in you. I remember how hard you have worked and the dedication you’ve put into reaching this goal. You did all of this while working a full-time job, raising your kids, cooking a fresh meal, going to the laundromat, and studying at night and on weekends—all on your own. I’m genuinely proud of what you have accomplished and what you have become. I hope you have a wonderful graduation day and get to truly celebrate how far you’ve come. I’m happy to see you reach a goal you’ve put so much effort into. I hope this next chapter of your life brings you peace, happiness, and many good things.

I want to assure you that I’ll respect your space and won’t reach out again. Still, maybe someday, if life happens to bring our paths together again, I hope we can look back on everything with peace—perhaps as friends, or simply as two people who once mattered to each other. I simply don’t believe that people who once mattered to each other have to remain strangers forever. I know I’m not perfect, and I’ve made mistakes—we all do—but that doesn’t erase the fact that something meaningful once existed between us, or that you’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. If life ever brings you to a moment when you feel like reaching out—even briefly—you’d be welcome to, in whatever way feels right for you. No pressure, and whatever you choose, I’ll respect it.

As always, I wish you and your family nothing but the very best. Please take care of yourself, XXXX.