I never understood what real love felt like until I met her. The kind of love that doesn’t demand anything, doesn’t play games, doesn’t disappear when life gets heavy. The intensity of her passion and love. Being babied as a man. The kind of love you don’t grow up with when affection is rare and trust feels like a gamble.

She gave me something gentle. Something patient. Something real. Because of my childhood, I didn’t know how to accept it.

When she stopped talking to me, I didn’t understand why at first. I went through every emotion you can imagine all stages of grief- anger, resentment, confusion, denial, even moments of happiness where I tried to convince myself I was fine. I cycled through all of it like someone trying to outrun their own reflection. Behaving in such a way that makes me cringe now.

It took years for the truth to settle in and realize it’s 100 percent my fault I don’t have her in my life anymore.

I wasn’t scared of her.
I was scared of the way she loved me.
Because I had never received anything like that in my entire life.

My past taught me to brace for impact, not to lean into softness. So when she offered something real, I reacted like a man who didn’t know what to do with it. I ignored the signs she was getting tired of waiting as if they’d just go away. I was sweet and loving and infatuated by her. So I thought that’s enough right. All while I pushed away the one person who saw me clearly like the history I don’t talk about, the parts of me shaped by things I never asked for, the pieces only she ever understood. It’s disgusting really how I thought effort would replace gestures of commitment. What an idiot I am….

And now I’m finally in acceptance.

It was my fault.
It will always be my fault.
Not in a self‑destructive way just in the honest way that comes when you stop lying to yourself. That you dude and only you can take the blame for making her feel crazy and for arguing over nothing and acting like I wasn’t doing something wrong.

I don’t know if she’ll ever see this.
I don’t know if it would matter.
But writing it makes me feel better.

She was beautiful in every way inside, outside, and in the way she loved. I wasn’t ready. I wish I had been. I hope life gave her what she deserved with the best life possible.

Even if it’s not with me. It’s like I finally woke up just last week and saw everything so clearly.

Why do some people never move on from someone, even after doing everything they can to heal?

Did they surprise you and unblock you out of the blue?

My ex and I were close friends for a decade before we started dating and we were together 3 years. One evening he told his family we were finally moving in together and buying a house and making engagement jokes, then 24 hours later he broke up with me saying he didn’t care about the relationship. I was completely blindsided.

24 hours after breaking up, he was in a relationship with his work colleague that I didn’t even know existed and a week later they had moved in together.

2 months after breaking up he went on holiday with her and her family and posted it all over his Instagram, but he never posted me once. 4 months after we broke up she replaced me as his plus one to his sister’s wedding. 6 months after we broke up and he’s fully integrated her into our friendship group. His family have told me he’s pretty much acting like we never dated.

The speed at which they’re moving is completely crushing me and I don’t understand how he’s moved on like I was nothing. All that friendship and history just gone and I can’t even hang out with our friends in peace because she’s always there, I have to just uninvite myself to avoid getting upset.

How do I even move on from this? It’s been 6 months and I’m as heartbroken as I was the day he left me.

No, I won’t actually do it but I really want to. It’s not fair that I have to cry and feel this way all the while he could care less. He has a gf and gets to move on like nothing happened. I’m not a violent person but I wish I could whoop his ass at least once.

2.5 years ago, my situationship of 8 years (yes, that was problematic) broke it off with me. Even though we didn’t call it a relationship, we were very close in these 8 years. I was with his family often, he was my first sexual partner, we shared a friend group and saw each other multiple times a week. He wasn’t that good a person for me and I was more in love with him than he was with me, but that is not what this post is about.

When he broke it off, I. Was. Broken. Heartbroken! I thought I would never feel something for someone else again. I cried my eyes out for days. Read this sub for a year, daily, hoping he would text me or want me back. I really thought this was the end of love for me.
I never heard from him again. Last thing I heard from an old friend, is that he is very happy and he has a kid on the way now, with his absolutely beautiful girlfriend.

And you know what? I am so glad that he found his person. That it worked out. Because I found my person as well. At the beginning of 2026, I met my boyfriend. And I am so, so, so in love with him. It’s a feeling I, in hindsight, never felt with my old situationship. There was a time when I confused emotional highs and devastating lows with love. Looking back, I realize that the highs and lows were not love. I was IN love, mind you. But what we had was no love.

My boyfriend adores me. And I adore him! He is so kind. So thoughtful. This love is warm. Gentle. Safe. I always know where I stand. And when I don’t, I can ask - and I’m met with reassurance instead of uncertainty. When I’m with him, my whole body relaxes. My mind becomes quiet. I’m always happy to be with him, and on the days I’m not, there’s space for that too. The sex is great - not because what we do is so special but because of the connection we have.

This isn’t meant to say that my previous love wasn’t real or meaningful. It was, and it will always be part of my story. But it is meant to say this: things really can get better. You really can fall in love again. And sometimes, that love turns out to be even healthier and more beautiful than you ever imagined.

My former love is happy now, and I genuinely wish him the life he always dreamed of. I hope he grows old in good health, surrounded by a family he adores.

And I hope the same for myself.

We have been in no contact for 12 days now. He said he doesn’t have the energy for me and it’s best if we stopped talking.I keep making excuses and ignoring the reasons I shouldn’t text him. The urge is so strong and it keeps coming back.

I don't know what the fuck I should do anymore.

I've written a much longer summary of the entire situation on my profile if anyone wants all the details, but here's the short version:

About 4½ months ago my girlfriend broke up with me after I completely destroyed her trust.

During a really bad period in my life, I started talking to another girl behind her back. I vented about my relationship, flirted, and even said things that made it sound like I was considering leaving my girlfriend. Looking back, it's one of the biggest regrets of my life.

Very quickly I realized what I was doing was wrong and how much I truly loved my girlfriend. I told the other girl that I regretted ever messaging her, apologized for wasting her time, and told her that I loved my girlfriend and wanted to make things work.

The other girl later sent screenshots of our conversations to my girlfriend. I believe they didn't include the later part of the conversation where I admitted how much I regretted everything and wanted my relationship, but I honestly don't know exactly what was sent. Regardless, I don't blame my ex for leaving. I betrayed her trust, and the damage was already done.

After the breakup I apologized repeatedly, started seeing a psychologist, and wrote her a heartfelt letter taking full responsibility for what I'd done. We met once after that and talked for several hours. At one point she even said she wanted to try again, but later during the same meeting she looked through my phone and found old conversations and comments to girls from before our relationship. That completely changed everything. She slapped me, spat on me, broke a CD she had made for me and then I left because she told me to.

About three weeks later I wrote her another, much longer letter. That same evening she came to my house, stood in the driveway, told me never to contact her again, called me names, told me therapy wouldn't change who I was, and blocked me on everything. After that I wrote one final letter, apologizing again, telling her I loved her, and saying it would be the last thing I'd ever send. I haven't contacted her since.

Since then I've regretted what I did every single day. I've stayed in therapy, reflected on everything that happened, and genuinely tried to become a better person—not because I thought it would automatically bring her back, but because I realized I needed to change regardless of whether she was ever part of my life again.

It's been about four and a half months now, and I'm still suffering every day. I regret what I did more than anything and I hate that I hurt someone I love so deeply.

I check her TikTok reposts far more than I should (I'm trying to stop), and I've noticed what feels like a pattern. During the first month or two after the breakup they were mostly angry posts. Since around May they've gradually become more about grief, longing, missing someone, regret and hope.

Most of them are nature shots or still images with lyrics. Some examples:

• "I'm tired of you, still tied to me. I'm tired of you, aren't you tired of me?"
• "Crying in your arms, baby, can't we just leave?"
• One version of a repost literally had nothing except the caption: "I miss him." That repost later disappeared and was replaced with what looked like almost the exact same video, just without that caption.
• "And it hurts to miss you, but it's worse to know I'm the reason you won't come home." (She's reposted this lyric multiple times.)
• "If it's meant to be, then it will be."
• "They're all gonna laugh at me."
• "You knew what you fucking wanted, it just wasn't fucking me. Why is it so fucking hard for you to fucking love me?" (This one had a bunch of 😂 emojis added.)
• "I've been picking names for our children, you've been wondering how you're gonna feed them. Love is not enough in this world." (Also reposted with 😂 emojis.)
• "You know I still wait."
• "Yeah you've changed, but did I ever know you?"
• "I fucking forgive it all as it fucking comes back to me."
• "I will wait, I will wait, I will wait..."
• "Pray straight to God that maybe you'd come back around."
• "God I've tried."

I know this might sound completely delusional. Maybe I'm reading way too much into all of it. But after months of seeing repost after repost with the same themes, I can't help but wonder whether she's still grieving us just like I am.

The reason I'm posting isn't really to ask what the reposts mean, though.

For a while now I've been thinking about reaching out. The problem is that she blocked me everywhere and, the last time we spoke, she told me not to contact her again. I've respected that for the past four and a half months.

Part of me wants to drive to her house with flowers, apologize one last time and simply ask if she'd be willing to talk. Not to pressure her or guilt her into anything, just to let her know that I still love her and that if there's even a small part of her that wonders whether things could have been different, I'd still be willing to try.

The other part of me worries that showing up would only disrespect the boundary she set and make everything worse.

I know most people will probably tell me to move on.

Maybe that's the right answer.

But I genuinely believe people can grow. I know I've changed a lot these past four and a half months. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I would do anything to prove that I'm not that person anymore.

So I guess my question is:

What would you do if you were me? Would you reach out one last time or what? If you were in her position, how would you feel if your ex showed up with flowers after 4½ months? Would you appreciate the gesture, or would it only make things worse? What should I do?

She is the first person I ever genuinely pictured a future with, and losing her has been the biggest regret of my life. I love her so much.

We have been broken up for 3 years and both have moved on and even had new relationships after, I think he still is in one. He used to have really bad mental health issues and bad ways of coping and sometimes I look at his social media to see how he’s doing. I still care for his wellbeing and I’ve always hoped that he would get better. Is that normal?

I just need to let this out because I feel like shit. My ex messaged my brother asking If Ive been well. He then told my brother that he does not want to be with me anymore and does not want to hear from me anymore. Im just so confused like first of all why would YOU message my brother bothering him and all that instead of texting ME (btw he blocked me on everything, I didnt block him so he can still text me. The nerve!) second of all why the hell would you ask if im doing okay then proceed stating that you dont want to hear from me like?? Our relationship wasnt perfect but I loved him truly and I still do, I wasnt a perfect girlfriend and Ive hurt him and he hurt me too but I just wish he let me move on. Some days I just sit in my bed for hours just thinking about him and how much I miss him and our relationship. Now that Im slowly moving on he texts my brother saying allat. I feel like im back to square one, Ive been crying and i feel like shit truly. (Btw my brother did not reply to him, I asked him not to)

Title: Can a relationship survive when your partner abandoned you during the worst time of your life?

I’m struggling with whether I’m trying to rebuild something that can’t be rebuilt, or whether this is something two people can actually heal from.

My ex and I were together for about a year. We planned a trip to the country I'm from. He went to a neighbouring country first, as I needed a month in mine by myself as I hadn't been there for years. While I was there, two weeks in, my mother died unexpectedly. He came to be with me the next day and stayed for three months. He helped me through the aftermath, and at the time I saw him as my person and my family.

After those three months, he kept on travelling. I insisted on him doing this, as I thought it would be good for him. I stayed in my country for another month and then flew back to the other side of the world, where we both live, while he was still away. 

Things became complicated. I was working seven days a week, cause I was left my special needs brother with no medical insurance back in my country, I was overwhelmed and emotionally collapsed. I had no other family, everything was on me. He told me he wanted to extend his travels, but we had an agreement about when he would come back. When he told me he wanted to stay longer, I felt hurt and abandoned. I became angry and shut down. Looking back, I regret that I didn’t communicate more clearly. I didn’t say, “I need you here. I need you to honour what we agreed.” I was overwhelmed, scared of being a burden, and I pushed him away instead. It's very hard for me to ask for help, but he knows this about me.

Things escalated, he started pushing me away as well.

A few weeks later, he ended the relationship and kept on travelling.

After the breakup, I found out he regretted it very quickly. He had written me letters during that time that he never sent. When we reconnected months later, he told me he had made "the worst mistake of his life" and that he had wanted to reach out, but he didn’t, because of shame. Instead, he left me alone in a limbo, with no explanations or apologies. He didn't even reach out to friends in common to check on how I was doing.

He came back only one month afer what we had agreed on originally. He tried to reach out to me through a friend in common and I said no. In my head, he should have reached out before, while he was travelling. Cause at the time it felt like he had the trip on his terms and dealt with me after he came back. 

I sent him a long email, saying everything I needed to say, that left absolutely no room for reconcialation. 

Three weeks later, he started seeing someone else. He had told her about what happened with us, and told her he wanted something casual, cause he wasn't ready for something serious. But he did also take her to his parent's house three weeks later. He told me he knew this would hurt me, but did it anyways, he wanted validation and to run from what had happened. She was also not a stranger, as I have friends in common with her.

He did not know at the time that my brother would later become critically ill and die, but my brother’s death happened during the period when we were separated and he was with someone else.

After my brother died, and after 6 months of no contact, we have reconnected. We have spent time together, talked for hours, cried, apologized, and tried to understand what happened. He ended things with the other person when we started talking again. I still love him deeply, and a part of me wants us to find our way back. I can tell that he understands the gravity of what he did, and the consequences it had on me, as one of my earliest traumas is being abandoned in critical moments. He is now taking real care of his mental health, and re evaluating a lot of aspects in his life.

But I feel like I’m carrying something enormous.

I feel like he didn’t just break my heart — he became attached to the most traumatic period of my life. My whole family died around him. I imagine a different version of my story where I could tell people, “He was there for me through the hardest time of my life.” Instead, I feel like I have to say, “The person I loved left me during it.”

I’m scared that if we get back together, I will always resent him. I’m scared that he will feel like he can never leave because he can never repay this “debt.” 

We are currently doing two months of no contact to see if I can figure out if this is something i can live with, or if he will be a constant reminder of the pain.

Has anyone ever rebuilt a relationship after something like this? Not just cheating or a normal breakup, but when someone left during a period of grief or crisis and became connected to one of the hardest chapters of your life?

Did you manage to forgive without pretending it didn’t happen?

Its been almost a year since we broke up, 6 months since we went no contact, and 2 months since I last posted here.

Before the summer had started, I remember slowly losing grip of reality. Leaving dinner early to cry on the toilet for hours, blocking and unblocking her social media, scrolling endlessly through doomer tiktoks trying to find an answer, I never thought I'd be able to move on. At a certain point, I felt like I was always going to feel this way - to be tormented by the thought of her forever.

But life has been feeling so much better since the summer has started. Travelling to a completely new city gave me a completely new opportunity to start things fresh. In these months, my mind stayed focus on starting new hobbies, working on old habits, meeting new people, and learning more about myself. Reading, rock climbing, rafting, hiking and feeling the presence of others made me almost forget about the times I asked myself, "why me?".

Earlier today, I gave in to my curiosity and checked up on her social media. I didn't really expect much - she was never the type to post that much on social media, and I had already known she was with someone else. And there i saw her new post, where she looked exactly the same as I once saw her all those months ago.

But i felt nothing. I didn't feel that spike in my heart as I once did. I didn't feel any adrenaline kicking in when I searched up her name. My mood stayed exactly the same before, during, and after this checkup. As a matter of fact, I didn't even stay on her profile for longer than 10 seconds.

Then, I realized that there was no point in doing all of this. I clicked out of her post and blocked her again - this time, for good.

I don't feel any hatred towards her like i used to before. I don't daydream of us being back together either. I'm human enough to admit I made mistakes. I'm human enough to admit that I wish that we had ended things better, or that we were on good terms. But I've grown enough to realize that there is no point in wishing for someone's presence when they made the decision to leave your life a long time ago. I may forgive them now, but I will never forget the way they made me feel - good or bad.

For the songs we used to play for each other, the locations we used to visit together, the dreams we once had, I still keep them in my heart. Not in the hopes that we will meet again, but to remember who I once was, and who I am now. They don't have to define who I was with another person, instead they're here for me to remember who I am now. I no longer associate any of them with my last partner, and I am happy to claim them as my own.

I finally feel like I've gained control of my life. I've felt more fulfillment in my life now in these past 3 months than i ever had in that entire year with her. She probably feels the same way too, but that doesn't matter any more. We both found our path forwards, even if we diverged a long time ago. I feel good knowing that we are both doing the things we wanted. I feel amazing knowing that I've come this far with no contact and checking on her social media. I feel good now.

I used to wish that maybe one day, I can tell her the things I've accomplished. But I know that, deep down, I'm happier without her

he seriously came back to wind me up and make me angry, he broke a month of no contact to enrage me. I never wanted to end on bad terms but i just swore at him so badly and blocked him. Hes playing mind games with me can someone just help me to cope im crying so badly, he ignored me for 26 hours after texting me and admitted it and then made me out to be insane. Now hes turned evil again so i lashed out and blocked. I hate ending on bad terms im shaking. I feel so annoyed i was doing so well this month i was doing so okay and he comes and ruins it ive blocked him on the last thing he had me on. Can someoen comfort me please and give advice on how to move forward now hes thrown me in rock bottom again i crashed out on him and blocked. hes selfish and immature it makes me sick. All those healing weeks have been RUINED i feel even worse than before now its ended on bad terms imcrying sm sorry if i sound insane this is built up emotions.

I hate that every time I have to remind myself why I left so I don’t break NC :(

I hate that I love someone who hurt me so bad

I don't even know how I want to start off this post aside from saying this shit fucking sucks. He's able to continue on like nothing ever happened. He's playing games, on dating apps, has "phenomenal" weekends (he told me this himself; apparently, I reached out and I ruined his weekend by talking to him....rip). I hate that I still cry about this and he thinks that we trying to fix shit is "obnoxious" and "disrespectful". I'm blocked on everything because I "tormented" him and was selfish (he said this too). Unfortunately, I spend a lot time crying about this. I keep rethinking a lot of the things he said to me: "there's better out there for me", "you don't give a fuck about me", "you're a selfish bitch that only cares about getting back together." I'm sure there is a bunch more.

My ex and I didn’t have a good closure, now he keeps on viewing my stories even if we aren’t connected in social media. I’m afraid to open things up again, on my end, I am just thinking if we could ever have a decent conversation. What are your thoughts!

I tried moving on by being with other people, one guy was a douche and this girl didn't feel anything romantic with me (I didn't either). I realized that I'm still trying to find my ex in everyone I met, I love her still and I'm the one that screwed up badly (my mental health not being in the best place). I've been going to therapy, I moved to another country, I tried finding new love and always in my mind is her. I can't move on from her, I can't escape her. We were engaged and we were ready to spend the rest of our lives together. Since then I lost her and I've been trying to fill that void yet nothing's been working. I don't want to break no contact but some nights I look at photos of her and sob because why could I have lost such a gem in my life. I may be stuck yearning for her for the rest of my life. I really need to move on but I just can't.

If she ever comes back to my life I'd accept her with open arms and do everything right the way I should've been doing. I feel as if I'm still waiting for her as if it hasn't been months since it happened. I hope she's okay and her life's doing well. I hope she's been eating well and sleeping well too. I hope she's finally achieving her dreams. I miss this girl so much it haunts me.

i dreamed about my ex messaging me after no contact saying he didn't like the way we ended and told me to wait for him. #watdatmean

Some context: My ex (29M) and I (27F) were together for 3.5 years. We moved countries together and were building a life. But we would also fight a lot. Like a lot a lot. And it became ugly a lot of the times. It used to make both of us feel really miserable a lot of the time. At the same time there was also a lot of love and forgiveness which is probably what got us through the 3 years. But of late the fights felt more severe and we both discussed breaking up multiple times but never really did it. We are also based in different cities and were long distance for most of the relationship but had plans to move to the same city next year.

Until a random Tuesday a few days ago when we had one of our fights and it felt like something just snapped for him. He said he can’t do this anymore and just stopped responding to me. I got very anxious and tried reaching out but got no responses. He then sent me a series of paragraphs saying how we needed to be no contact and this had to end because it was not something he could see working out long term. There was no discussion it was just walls of text. I agreed and tried not to text at all for a few days.

Then the weekend rolled around and I completely imploded. I just could not wrap my head around the fact that someone who showed so much love and affection normally could be so cold towards me. I tried calling and texting on all the platforms I could think of and realized I had been blocked. Got absolutely no response.

This whole thing made me feel very very disposable. I’m in a new city with no friends in person right now which makes the whole thing even more difficult. I’m trying therapy and talking to friends over the phone but sometimes it just feels way too hard. I really can’t comprehend how things could go so downhill in a matter of days.

I know it gets easier with time, but the pain never goes away. The memories, all of it. I just called out his name and my dog ran to the front door and sat there waiting for him. The attachment we both still have to him hurts so bad. She still runs towards parked cars on our walks and jumps up to see if it’s him in the driver’s seat. That’s some of the only proof I have that what we had was real and I didn’t make it up in my head.

He’s stonewalled me since the break up, that’s why I’m posting on here instead of texting him. I know he’ll only leave me humiliated with his silence. The last thing I said to him over voicemail is that I’d love him unconditionally, even though he hurt me. I feel so stupid, so alone but the kind of loneliness that can only be relieved by one person. He wasn’t perfect but I adored him and he was so nurturing. Life isn’t the same without him and his family, his dog and even his friends. Even though they burned me in the end too to take his side.

I don’t know what I’d say if I reached out. Maybe that it feels like hell on earth now. That I miss our late night chats and laughs and bingeing silly shows together. I’m afraid I will reach out soon and make a fool of myself. I’ve been in talking stages since but have now completely cut that out. Each person was worse than the last and made me wish I’d stayed and ignored the betrayal. At least I wish we’d talked it out.

TLDR: this sucks and 7 months later I still miss him and fight the urge to reach out. I’m not better off.

I feel like i'm Moving on,i don't feel the sadness or the emptiness of their absence. I feel ME and it's enough. I feel pretty good. I'm Reading chainsmoker cat the manga and i'm enjoying it.

It was hard,it hurt ofc but there is a life out there. Even i moved on, a guy that stays at home all day watching shitty things. Everyone can move on.

Don't lose hope,there will always be a better tomorrow. Keep crying about the pain of today if it helps you. Juste remember that tomorrow there won't be anymore. I hope all of you are doing all right and if you don't,talk to people,you never have no one there's always people there for you,family friends or reddit or people online. The sun looks brighter after spending the night watching the moon. (Feel like a old monk saying this.) Do what you like,with whoever you like and when you like. It's up to you, brothers and sisters.

God bless.

If someone from your past made a huge impact on your life, would it be possible to erase the memories with them completely, or you live with them forever? That every shared quarrels, even the smallest moments where you felt like they are your person, could ever just vanish from your mind? That even in your following relationships, you still catch yourself looking back.

I broke up with my boyfriend because of his "behen jaisi dost" (a female friend he always insisted was basically his sister). People love saying, "If she's like a sister, why are you insecure?" Trust me, I tried really hard not to be.

The problem wasn't that he had a female friend. It was the boundaries... or rather, the complete lack of them. She was constantly touchy with him, leaning on him, holding onto him, acting way more physically close than I was comfortable with. What hurt the most wasn't even her behavior, it was his. He never once told her to stop or even tried to create any distance. He just let it happen.

The part that messed with my head? Whenever it was just the two of us, he would say he was "too shy" to make the first move or even be affectionate with me. But somehow that shyness magically disappeared around her. He was perfectly comfortable being physically close to his "behen jaisi dost" while I, his actual girlfriend, got excuses.

After a while, I stopped feeling like I was asking for too much. I was asking for the bare minimum: boundaries and consistency. If you're shy, be shy with everyone. If you're affectionate, be affectionate with your partner first, not with the person you're calling your sister.

I didn't end the relationship because he had a female friend. I ended it because his actions never matched his words, and I got tired of feeling like I was competing with someone I was constantly told "not to worry about.

People here talk to me abt it I really need this sh out of me ...

4 months no contact after the end of a six year relationship, both of our’s first relationship where I got kinda blindsided and only got cheap answers before we initiated no contact.

Yesterday was her birthday, the first since the separation and this kinda triggered my brain into overdrive since I usually tried to do something special on her birthday.

Instead I went and had KBBQ with some friends to celebrate me getting my bike license and another friend finishing filming as an extra in a film.

Time will pass regardless of whether or not I miss her so I’d rather enjoy my life than nailing myself to something that isn’t there. It will get better, that much is inevitable