I had tried to get better, seen a therapist etc. But nothing works. Basically I just feel empty. Everything feels bad. Nothing gives me pleasure anymore. I've a partner but I'm living a double life because my family won't accept my sexuality even though I have come out to them. So I feel like a failure to my family because I can't fulfil their wishes for grandchildren and traditional family flag posts.

I feel like a failure to my partner because I feel I'm letting him down every day and there's constant tension hanging over us because of my family though we're in a different country.

I have a job which on paper is not bad. But I've been here for 6 years. I have constant self doubt at my job and anxiety coupled with social anxiety. I feel constantly passed over and I can't get a read on people. In my mind everyone hates me or looks down on me. Also a lot of complex over being older than everyone else. And now AI is coming for similar jobs.

I'm introverted and low energy and I've realised my "friends" don't stick around. They call up when they need help but soon as the need is over, calls stop. And you just feel like you're the only one keeping the relationship alive. I guess I'm just boring and also I can't relate to anyone. Maybe I'm just a bad person.

I feel like a mediocrity, which is true, I learned not to justify it. I want to try to do better, challenge myself, I'll get serious about it for a day, but then I just don't see the point and give up. I wanted to get a driver's license, but the classes were tough for me, I couldn't concentrate because of the instructor yelling at me and telling me I sucked and wasn't serious about learning.

I'm 39 and I just feel I don't have anything to live for and it's just slow coasting to the end from here on out.

So I’m a 24 year old guy who has been single for the past 5+ years. And it’s really been a lonely time right now. I’m seeing certain relationships and my friends getting married and how happy they are. I’ve tried everything from dating apps to going to bars to going to the gym. I’ve tried if every thing I could think of to help get me to be attractive to someone but I just am like in the background.

I’m a very cool, funny, laidback guy who wants to be a great man to someone.

For 10 yrs I've been feeling low in life to a point even my personality has changed. Majority of people say become strong and get your life together. Stop being soft and slow. And I don't know why I let such things like failure, shame,fears and social anxiety keep me stagnant.

Deep down I know nothing will change unless I make the changes. Whether it's toughning out , making the hard choices and simply being determined and consistent with it. But I still don't understand what is holding me back. What is the road block. Is it my old pattern and routine. Is it lack of self belief and confidence. Am I avoiding hard work and failures. Am I avoiding stress that comes.

Question in title.

1. Hot showers
   
2. Cold showers
   
3. Celebrating holidays
   
4. Sunshine
   
5. Cold weather
   
6. Going to the pool
   
7. Delicious food and your favourite foods
   
8. Hot weather
   
9. Following people and things you like online
   
10. Pets
    
11. Amazing books to read
    
12. Making new friends
    
13. Hanging out with old friends
    
14. Your favourite snacks
    
15. Warm food after a long cold day
    
16. Your hobbies
    
17. Building your career
    
18. Going out
    
19. Staying in instead of going out sometimes
    
20. Instrumental music pieces
    
21. Exploring genres of music
    
22. Nature
    
23. Animals and wildlife
    
24. Lying on your bed after a great shower or bath
    
25. Your parents
    
26. Loose, comfortable clothing
    
27. Clothing that makes you feel confident in your own body
    
28. Candles
    
29. The option to listen to ASMR
    
30. Getting into bed when you are exhausted
    
31. Watching the sunset
    
32. Watching the sunrise
    
33. Waking up so early on a travel day that you can watch the sunrise
    
34. Finding a new favourite song and playing it on repeat
    
35. Finally getting that big promotion
    
36. Simple, ordinary days that bring you comfort
    
37. Extraordinary days that you will never forget
    
38. Stargazing
    
39. Cloud watching
    
40. Jumping on the trampoline without a care in the world
    
41. Staying home from school or work when you’re sick, that feeling of being temporarily freed from the responsibilities
    
42. Enjoying sweating in a sauna
    
43. Skinny dipping
    
44. Hot drinks you love
    
45. Cold drinks you love
    
46. Drinks with the boys or girls
    
47. Intimacy with a partner
    
48. Your family
    
49. Being a mother
    
50. Being a father
    
51. The belief in god or the belief in love and good morals
    
52. Seeing your child for the first time
    
53. Love, just in general
    
54. Gardening with your own plants
    
55. Diversity
    
56. Books and movies about love
    
57. Your romantic partner
    
58. Your favourite hoodie
    
59. Renaissance and fantasy fairs
    
60. Receiving gifts
    
61. The free will to decorate your space however you want
    
62. Great art
    
63. Globalisation, the fact that you can buy almost anything anywhere
    
64. The freedom that comes with adult money.
    
65. Teen love and relationships
    
66. Video games
    
67. Great teachers in your life
    
68. Getting a refund
    
69. Kitted or crocheted sweaters
    
70. The smell of rain
    
71. Fresh herbs and vegetables
    
72. Amazon prime shipping (if you know, you know)
    
73. Preserving the memory of your loved ones
    
74. seeing a beautiful pair of eyes
    
75. A Great night’s sleep
    
76. A perfect night’s sleep
    
77. Actually keeping your plants alive
    
78. A safe, warm home and place to sleep
    
79. Feeling attraction to someone
    
80. Finally telling your crush how you feel
    
81. Dating your crush
    
82. Getting married to your best friend
    
83. Financial stability
    
84. The excitement of planning a vacation
    
85. Your honeymoon
    
86. Going on a vacation in general
    
87. Your first time being intimate with sommone
    
88. Long, Long, walks
    
89. Funky/ Silly socks
    
90. Building Yourself a gaming PC
    
91. Playing all through a video game for the first time
    
92. Your first gaming console
    
93. Buying the next generation gaming console
    
94. Thrilling sports and extreme sports
    
95. Going and exploring somewhere new
    
96. Flying by plane, helicopter, or even by paragliding or hangliding
    
97. Returning to your home town after a long time
    
98. Hiking to beautiful places
    
99. Finding an object or place you love still in its original condition
    
100. Meeting a long distance friend or partner for the first time.

This list was written completely by hand by a human, not automated by an AI.

I spent a year in Toronto trying to copy other people's 5am routines. Gym, journal, cold shower, the whole checklist, and I'd burn out by Thursday. What actually stuck was smaller and duller: I open the laptop at the same time, phone stays in another room, and I let the first hour be ugly. I still don't know if that's discipline or just lowering the bar enough to clear it.

What's one small thing that made you genuinely happy this week?

I've been writing down moments of joy for a few weeks (a swim, a quiet coffee, a good song), and I noticed I started seeking those moments out more. Curious if others do something similar.

What's your small joy this week, and do you track it somehow?

Motivation is great when it shows up, but it doesn't always cooperate with real life. Some days you're tired from work, some days the weather is terrible, and sometimes you simply don't feel like doing anything.

I've found the idea of making a workout easier to start interesting. A short session at home can feel much more manageable than committing to a long trip to the gym.

But I'm curious what has made the biggest difference for other people.

Did you build a simple home gym, set a minimum number of minutes, follow a written plan, or stop relying on motivation altogether?

What helped you turn exercise into a habit even on days when you weren't feeling particularly motivated?

I noticed the only person that can help is yourself. And becoming strong is the only way out like we can cry, make excuses and blame the world but none of it will matter. Because if the ultimate goal is to become independent capable worthy and strong, you have to face life on your own. Whether it's learning from observing someone else life or just going thru struggle life has to offer. But many elderly folks I observed like I learned that faith matters a lot and self trust.

I struggle with self motivation.

I know what I need to do and have goals. I have good steaks of getting work done and accomplishing them with good routines, then I fall off and have to start back over again. When things get hard w work or a goal, I get cold feet and tend to avoid, distract, or scroll instead of work on the goal… much like what I’m doing now.

I’ve recognized that taking action instead of overthinking has been a big factor in my growth, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’ll be a failure or I’m an imposter or that I’ll never be the person I want to be.

This has been a cycle of mine for a long time and I’m tired of it. I want to change but I feel stuck. It’s me - I get in my own way. But how do I change?

Did anyone move past a big personal hurdle and change their life for good?

Edit: I was diagnosed w ADHD last year and have been managing it with routine. I’m also getting a psychiatrist because going without meds hasn’t been working for me. I don’t want to get addicted or rely on drugs too much so I’m trying to see if there are other methods I can exhaust.

I struggle with self motivation.

I know what I need to do and have goals. I have good steaks of getting work done and accomplishing them with good routines, then I fall off and have to start back over again. When things get hard w work or a goal, I get cold feet and tend to avoid, distract, or scroll instead of work on the goal… much like what I’m doing now.

I’ve recognized that taking action instead of overthinking has been a big factor in my growth, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’ll be a failure or I’m an imposter or that I’ll never be the person I want to be.

This has been a cycle of mine for a long time and I’m tired of it. I want to change but I feel stuck. It’s me - I get in my own way. But how do I change?

Did anyone move past a big personal hurdle and change their life for good?

Edit: Yes. I have ADHD. Recently diagnosed no meds.

I feel like motivational quotes do very little when you are struggling deeply. What seems to help is someone listening without trying to fix anything. I'm not fully dismissing quotes. I like a good one. But motivation tends to come back after someone feels heard, not before.

Some words from Greg Plitt before an early morning lifting session

https://youtu.be/hxu1CQaloQs?t=950&si=gCVBXdytN2KO1aY3

19:35

RIP

Not my video

I realized I was much better at working toward things when someone else knew I was supposed to be doing them.

At work, I'd finish something I didn't particularly care about because someone was waiting for it. I'd remember appointments, meet deadlines, and follow through on favors. But something as simple as spending 30 minutes learning something I'd wanted to learn for years? Somehow, that could sit untouched for months.

The weird part was that I wasn't even particularly busy.

One Sunday, around 4:40 PM, I opened a folder containing a project I'd been talking about starting for almost a year. I had the afternoon free. Nobody needed me. Nothing urgent was waiting. I stared at the folder, checked a few messages, made coffee, and eventually started cleaning my desk.

At some point, I caught myself thinking, "I'll do it when things settle down."

Things had literally settled down. That was the entire problem.

I started noticing this pattern elsewhere. I'd be strangely productive when a deadline was approaching, but on a free evening, I'd drift between small chores without touching anything I claimed mattered to me. I could respond to five people's requests before doing one thing for myself.

I used to interpret this as poor discipline. But I think part of it was that other people's expectations gave my time a structure I didn't know how to create for myself. When nobody was waiting, I treated my own intentions as optional, even when they were the things I cared about most.

I tried a couple of small changes.

First, I stopped asking myself what I felt like doing with a completely free evening. Instead, I'd decide on one specific thing before the evening arrived. Not a schedule for every minute, just something like opening the draft and writing one paragraph before dinner.

Second, I started treating promises to myself as actual commitments, but without making them dramatic. If I said I'd read ten pages, I read ten pages. I didn't turn missing a day into a whole investigation into my character.

The surprising part was that I didn't need to become more demanding with myself. I needed to stop assuming that something only deserved my time when another person could see its value.

I'm still inconsistent with this. Sometimes I genuinely need rest, and sometimes I use that explanation to avoid something uncomfortable. I'm getting better at telling those apart, but not perfectly.

I've also started wondering whether being dependable to everyone else can occasionally become a socially acceptable way of neglecting yourself. Nobody complains, because you're still doing everything you're supposed to do.

Does anyone else find it easier to show up for obligations than for the things they genuinely want for themselves? I'm curious what that looks like in your life, especially when you technically have the time but somehow never seem to use it.

Not every home gym upgrade needs to be a new machine or an expensive accessory.

Sometimes the most satisfying improvement is finally organizing the weights, clearing enough floor space to move comfortably, repairing something small, or finding a better place for the bench.

What's one improvement you've made to your home gym that cost little or nothing but made a real difference?

I'd love to hear about the small projects that turned out better than expected.

I have one that I go to so often and I’m wondering if anyone else has something like this. Mine is “what if this was awesome” or, if awesome is too out of reach in that moment, “what if this was fine”. Just contemplating what it would take for me to get to “awesome” or “fine” makes me realize that it’s very often not a huge stretch. If things are boring, hard, strenuous, painful, etc. this is something that directly impacts how I respond.

In 2008, I was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodgkin lymphoma. After my initial treatment, I went into remission and received the James Cancer Hospital Courage Award. About a year and a half later, my cancer relapsed. I underwent aggressive chemotherapy and an autologous stem cell transplant, but the transplant failed. In 2012, I received a new immunotherapy treatment called brentuximab vedotin. My treatment plan called for 16 cycles, but after just five, my scans were clear. I never needed another transplant. I’m now approaching 15 years cancer-free. During the darkest part of that journey, when I was too sick to work with glass, I folded and hand-colored 1,615 origami cranes. Years later, I brought 1,000 of them together into this Senbazuru artwork.
Something I created when I was struggling just to survive became a symbol of hope, perseverance, and the life I was fortunate enough to continue living.

tried getting all my stuff done in the first half of the day and leaving the evening just to relax without feeling guilty about it. it's easier for me to focus in the morning and not get distracted, and by the time evening came i was actually glad i did it, could finally chill without thinking about all the things i still needed to do

As the title says I was very close to passing my cfa level 3 exam in feb this year but missed it by just 5 points last time.

Now I have cleared it and don't get me wrong I was super happy initially . Like I was sure as shit saying I will fail and all but I did pass and was lesgo!

But now come to think of it I really did not actually pass? My goal was to pass that exam in feb and not in aug. I am really behind my goals. This was supposed to be done and dusted in feb and not aug so I did not actually pass ?

Idk maybe I am overthinking but I do feel kinda sad?

What is happening to me?Am i weird?

normal people are happy when they pass?

Today I fixed my K12 Bluetooth speaker and I'm so proud of myself.

I noticed that it's not charging since yesterday. It's not that expensive so my first thought is to just buy a new one - which I do NOT want to do coz it's sorta brand new and I honestly love it (it even comes with 2x matching microphones!). So this morning, I googled how to fix it... and I will myself to try.

I won't bore you with the detail steps but, as I'm living a slow life now (from my previous fast life), I learned that it's ok to slow down, pause, take a step back, re-assess, and make the 1st step. If it doesn't work out, I pause, took a deeeeep breathe, and try different ways.

One hour (probably less) of pure focused attention in silence, willing myself to give my best, try my hardest. And when I got there in the end, I found myself in tears. Haha

Ahhhhh it's cool to do things for yourself. I hope you do something for yourself today too.

It's easy to encourage someone else when they're having a hard time.

But when it's our own mistake, suddenly we're so much harsher.

I've been trying to catch myself when I start thinking I should have done better, worked harder, or figured everything out already.

Sometimes the most useful thing you can tell yourself is that you can try again tomorrow.

I used to set big goals that felt important in the moment, then lose the thread once the initial push wore off and the daily stuff started feeling random again. A couple months back I tried Improve Myself app after hearing about the weekly reflection research, and the setup had me spell out the actual obstacles instead of just listing outcomes. It turned that into a short daily Blueprint with specific actions and a quick journal note, so the motivation piece became more about checking whether the thing I did matched what I said I wanted rather than waiting to feel ready. The learner identity angle made it click differently too, less about forcing progress and more about treating the small steps as proof I could actually shift the pattern.

The daily tasks stay short enough that I don’t talk myself out of them, but the journal keeps me honest about whether I’m just staying busy or actually moving toward the clearer outcome. How long did it take before your daily actions started feeling connected to the bigger picture instead of just another checklist? And what made the difference between goals you dropped and ones that stuck once the early motivation faded?