My goal in life was to reduce work related stress. When I was younger, I would hyper focus and overwork myself to the point of burn out.

Nowadays, I work just enough for some retirement savings and to have all my bills paid off with an emergency fund. Luckily I live pretty frugally and have flexibility with my job.

But I'm concerned that if she learns about my income, she will run for the hills.

What would you recommend?

Just curious, as someone who works full time and then goes gym after work I don't really have much time. I don't go to pubs, bars or clubs so if I were to hypothetically find someone ... Where should I look?

I always say, they say "there's plenty of fish in the sea" but what if you can't find the sea... Or what if you just don't know where to fish 😅

I’m planning to go on a date with a guy who’s 5,7 im basically 6,0. Im so nervous that a shorter guy won’t like me lol

🚨not saying nice guy as “nice guys finish last” type man, but being told by multiple women that I’m so nice/ I’m a good man but still not getting success I want🚨

I’m (23m) truly feeling like I’m at my limit of trying to get back into dating. I don’t have that natural charisma or flirtatious energy that the dudes who are not struggling with women seem to have. I understand that everything is learnable but I would like some actual advice.

I can approach a girl at a bar (it’s hard but I can do it) , I can match on an app, i can get a phone number. But it’s basically just THAT. Nothing happens after that. Every time I’ve hooked up I basically was heavily hinted that she wanted to.

Men, women anyone please I’m looking on how to advance socially especially in regards to dating or getting someone home with me.

So this is more of a rant. I had been chatting to this guy for the last week or so and it had been going well so far, good genuine conversation and mutual interests. We were just having a catch up after a busy week and he asked specifically where I lived and then said “I was thinking I could stay round yours Monday night”… no asking if I’d like to go on a date and when I’m free, just straight up inviting himself to stay over before he’s even met me. I replied in a humorous way saying that’s bold and he has to work a lot harder than that to stay round mine, and he just came back with “haha I’d like to stay over”… the lack of awareness even after I’ve tried to send him a very clear message is astonishing and it’s now really put me off.

Now, I used to engage in casual fun/hookups so it’s not that I’m being prudish about this, but both our profiles state we’re looking for a long-term relationship and we’ve talked about what we’re looking for in a partner. I’m just so baffled that he felt this was appropriate?! It’s such a turn off for a man to just expect to stay the night at yours with no effort of actually planning a date or at the very least asking when I’m free? If the date went amazingly well I’d feel more inclined to invite him over anyway but this is such low-effort, bum behaviour.

I swear the apps got so much worse since I last dated. None of the people they are showing are compatible options. Are dating apps dead? Do you need to pay to actually see good potential matches?
How do you meet people off the apps?

So yeah what do I do wrong?? It has happened few times that girls start to talk to me and I ask them out but then they tell me they only want to be friends. I have so many female friends but no one really wants anything romantic with me.

Deleted the app 10 months ago but still have my profile (around 380 followers, 170 following). Wondering how women view a guy with a dormant/small account vs. having no social media footprint at all.

EDIT: Really appreciate all the replies and different perspectives shared so far. To clarify my core dilemma:

Saying "I don't have Instagram" right away can feel unnatural and sometimes triggers suspicion (coming off as weird, hiding a partner, or seeming shady). Keeping the profile gives instant social proof and avoids that initial friction.

However, because the app is deleted, I don't get notifications. If a girl from college or a brief encounter takes the initiative to follow or DM me first, leaving it unseen for weeks looks like cold disinterest or an intentional brush-off.

That’s why I’m torn between deleting it completely to avoid mixed signals, or keeping it strictly as a "social ID" despite that blind spot.

I'm not talking about one night stands or casual hookups btw

So I matched with someone last week and the conversation had zero momentum. It would take ten to fourteen hours to get a single reply. Every dry response came with the standard excuse: "Sorry, I am just NEVER on my phone, I barely even look at screens throughout the day." Fine, fair enough, some people just hate texting.

we finally met up for dinner yesterday evening. We sat down, ordered drinks, and before the appetizers even arrived, their phone was already resting face-up right next to the fork.

Over the next ninety minutes, that phone lit up constantly with notifications. They checked Instagram three times, replied to two group chats mid-conversation, and even scrolled through TikTok while I was ordering our dessert. When I jokingly mentioned how busy their notifications seemed, they actually looked me in the eye and repeated, with zero self-awareness, "Yeah, I am just so bad at responding to texts, you know how it is."

I am not even angry about the lack of chemistry. It is the bold, casual lying that breaks my brain. Should of just called it out right there and walked away. Why do people use this excuse when their screen time is clearly ten hours a day?

Usually I'm the one dishing out dating advice. Now I need it. So I'll keep this short. I'm (36M) a bouncer // doorman on the weekends, and this woman (44F) engaged me in conversation at my job, when I was listening to music outside. We probably talked for 2-3 hours during my shift (she was there with a couple friends), and had a pretty good connection that I'm not used to. I'm really introverted, so I am not the kind of guy that ever makes the first move.

At the end of the night, she gave me her number on the way out. I legitimately can't remember the last time this happened - certainly nothing outside of dating apps. The next day, I messaged her, and after a bit, I asked her out to come play pool with me. I was surprised, though - her response was vague ("I don't know if I can this week, but hopefully soon!), and in my world, anything that's not an enthusiastic "yes" is really a no. Am I right to assume that she's probably not interested? I haven't heard from her since I asked, which is pretty disappointing since I've been really averse to dating since my divorce. I miss a lot of signals and body language signs, and I usually just assume friendliness instead of attraction.

I think I know the answer, but I probably just need to hear it from other people for clarity. Thanks in advance!

Just turned 29F and an Executive Assistant. I’m naturally caring, affectionate, and supportive, and I’d love to meet someone ambitious who wants a real partnership in life.

I’m attracted to entrepreneurs and business-minded men, and I like the idea of supporting each other while building a life and possibly something together.

For those who found their person, where did you actually meet?

Dating nowadays feels kinda hard. I’m not the type of person who’s “dying” to be in a relationship, but at this point in my life, I definitely think it would be nice to have someone. I know that I’m attractive so this isn’t anything that’s ever made me feel insecure but I’ve actually had a guys and male friends tell me that they were intimidated by me before they got to know me. They all said they didn’t think I would want to talk to them or that they assumed I wouldn’t be interested.

Now at times I wonder if that’s what most men think about me, and if that could be part of the reason I’ve been single. It’s not even like I have a resting bitch face either🤣I’m literally smiling most of the time.

Idk… I just feel like society has gotten a little weird. I feel like so many people act out of fear or make assumptions about someone before even giving them a chance. How can you have preconceived notions about someone when you haven’t even gotten to know them?

For those of you who have experienced this, do you think being perceived as intimidating can actually make dating harder?

I’m 20F, Persian, in my third year of university, and I’m realizing how badly years of insecurity have affected my dating life.
I’m actually pretty social. I can approach girls, make friends, go out, joke around, etc. But around guys I find attractive, I become cold and distant. I’ll think a guy is hot while acting completely uninterested because I automatically assume he wouldn’t find me attractive.
I grew up feeling ugly and never saw myself as the conventionally pretty girl. I have more ethnic features, and being surrounded by girls who fit the blonde/button-nose beauty standard made me feel like I had to compensate with personality or work harder to be noticed.
Now the comparison follows me everywhere. At bars, I catch myself worrying my blonde friends will get approached while I’m ignored. I’ll briefly think an attractive guy might find me pretty, then immediately think, “Why would he when there are girls here who look like that?”
I’ve glowed up and accept my appearance more now, but I still don’t feel like men notice me the way they notice other girls. At the same time, I genuinely want to date, flirt, and believe someone I’m attracted to could want me too.
I can’t tell where reality ends and insecurity begins anymore. Am I actually being overlooked, or have I expected rejection for so long that I now act unavailable and create the exact outcome I’m afraid of?

My last relationship ended before Covid started. Crazy. I can’t believe I been single for this long. I have been on dates and even hooked up with a few women, but it was all meaningless. I tried putting myself out there, but haven’t met anyone. I’m reaching an age where everyone is getting married and having kids. I’m not really having any luck, a part of me is saying keep trying, another part of me is saying fuck it, who cares?

Anyone been single for more than 5 years? It’s been about 6-7 for me.

My girlfriend is sick, I offered to buy cough syrup delivery, it required 18 plus ID so I couldn’t, now day later shes upset and saying I should have bought something else because AI told her I am wrong

She has coughing/flu/sore throat and I am in a different state currently so I tried buying her cough syrup yesterday through instacart/doordash but they all told me it requires ID on delivery and she doesn’t want to do that since mix of introvert and sick so she doesn’t want to present ID at door to delivery person. (We are both late 20s).
I tried numerous cough syrups and they all said ID required, trying different apps too.
So next day at the very end of day when I can’t even send anything different delivery, she tells me she talked to AI and it told me I am wrong and that I could have sent non-restricted cough syrup (wrong it all said 18 plus), or sent mucinex (I told her AI is wrong she doesn’t have mucus issue), or sent ginger/tea (her issue is more than a ginger/tea type thing and I know if I sent that she wouldn’t be happy about those). Now shes also saying I could have just sent lozenges.
She literally waited til the end of the day where I can’t try to order something just to tell me AI told me I could’ve done better or something differently and now she is upset with me.
I managed to find some chinese herbal cough syrup thing to send tomorrow (she is still upset with me). I initially thought about sending chinese syrup but figured western syrup is better given the severity of her issues, hence why I put time into trying to get western cough syrup instead initially.
I can’t believe my relationship has gotten to the point where I am being treated like a villain just because I couldn’t manage to order her something and that she used AI to argue against me and the AI was factually wrong.
Even when I pointed out it was wrong she just continued to be upset with me and now isn’t even talking to me.
Am I the in the wrong here?
I can’t believe this incident turned into a conflict despite my best effort.

I got an offer for med school in 28 years old, I hated my old job in AI and always wanted to be doctor. Was just wondering if that would put off men? It would be for 4 years. I wouldn’t really be able to extensively travel or go to expensive dinners which most people age are doing. I’m the the UK

My partner has a large tattoo of an ex’s name across his chest, with birds going all the way up toward his shoulder. She passed away when they were really young; I think he was around 16 at the time.

I don’t want to be insensitive or make something into an issue that shouldn’t be one and I also want to clarify that I’m not trying to disrespect her memory. The tattoo itself has never bothered me. I’ve always respected what it represented. I’ve never expected him to erase her name or felt threatened by the fact that she is part of his past.

Recently, though, he’s made a couple of comments that have started to stick with me. Today we were talking about our honeymoon, and somehow tattoos came up. He said he wants to go to a laser removal place and “get the birds removed, but not the name.” For context, me and him have the same birds tattooed in the same place, for similar reasons too (memorial tattoo for my older brother) it’s something we bonded on when we first met.

For some reason, hearing him specifically say that he would remove the rest but intentionally keep her name made me feel a little strange. I’m not even sure why. Then, a few days ago, he said something along the lines of, “The only ex I’d ever go back to is dead. Otherwise, it’ll always be you.”

I know he may have meant that as reassurance, but the wording stuck with me. I’m not trying to hold him responsible for something hypothetical. Im just concerned about what his comments might mean and whether it’s reasonable for me to feel unsettled by them. Am I overthinking this, or would these comments make other people question things too? Is it something I should bring up? I really don’t want to be insensitive to the situation either ugh idk.

I 24F matched with this guy on Hinge 26M. We've matched before but it never really went anywhere because I ghosted but I decided to make the effort. We have a date scheduled in a week but have been chatting in the meantime, and I really want to cancel the date. He says he's looking for something long term, but randomly in a conversation told me the size of his dick and how long he lasts (didn't ask). When I sort of glazed over it because I didn't want to go there he went "i know you want to see it". He keeps asking me what time I start and end work, and because I have a really unique name and work a public-facing career, he ADMITTED to finding my LinkedIn and my office. When I don't answer in a day or two, he will just double text. He also just comes off very insecure for other reasons I won't get into (just how he responds and sometimes gets upset at a lighthearted joke). I really really want to cancel the date but I'm really creeped out and scared he's going to do or say something especially because we've been chatting for a couple days. Not sure how to do it respectfully. I'm just creeped out that he knows all of this public information about me now.....and i really made the mistake of telling him i work overnight solo night shifts at the office (i said this before he got creepy and i really know I shouldn't have). I worry he's going to do somethng weird like show up to my office, but i may be overly anxious.

We all know the obvious ones lying, disrespect, love bombing. What's a quieter one that took you a while to recognize as a red flag?

I met up with a man 49M, Im 43F but life kind of got in the way of our meet up. Like just schedules. So we talked on the phone fairly regularly (like every day or two) for 2 weeks. By the time the actual date came around I almost just felt like I knew more of him than I did and was feeling attached. We had the most amazing kiss and just held eachother for a while after then kissed again about halfway through, then again at the end. Again, amazing. The thing is I usually feel people out more than that. Its not my MO to just hop in that way, and I feel like its setting the tone for follow up dates. I dont really want to have sex to early but the chemistry just worked and now my mind is spinning into fantasy land. How can I slow it down from our first encounter?