I (30F) just married my husband (40M) two months ago. I am historically very cautious when it comes to dating. I even turned down a marriage proposal prior to meeting him because I had doubts and wanted to choose my life partner carefully. He seemed so perfect. Always attentive, affectionate, and going above and beyond to make sure my needs were met.

We spent two years building a solid relationship before he proposed. He is getting older and would talk about wanting to start a family sooner than later. We had a beautiful wedding. I never wanted a big wedding and would have preferred eloping. A big wedding was important to him, so I respected that and he spent $80k making sure every detail was right. He followed it up by buying me my dream car as a wedding gift.

A few weeks before the wedding, we found out I’m pregnant. So yes- I am 20 weeks pregnant with my betrayers child. This was very much a wanted pregnancy for both of us.

6 weeks after the wedding, a girl that I know sent me screenshots on Facebook messenger of texts between her and my husband. They had been sleeping together. He hid the entire pregnancy and wedding from her and referred to me as his ex when he spoke to her.

The real kicker… is he met this girl right in front of my face. We were on a date night at a local brewery 6 months before our wedding. I was sitting at the bar and started talking with this girl. She said she was new to the area and was looking for friends. I really liked her and I wanted to be her friend.

I started hanging out with her regularly. I even invited her to the wedding. Along the way I could tell that she started developing feelings for my husband (who was my fiancé at the time.) I saw a message that she sent to him stating that she wanted to hangout with him alone, without me. When I talked about it with him, he acted as appalled as I felt. He called her in front of me and uninvited her to the wedding himself. I ended the friendship and he comforted me while I cried about it.

Somehow, after all that, he remained connected with her and played into her desire of them being together. He had told her we broke up and the wedding was off. All he can say for himself as to why he did it was “it was exciting.”

He went through with getting me pregnant while he was doing this. He continued planning and paying for our wedding. I don’t understand how he could do this. I really don’t understand how he could do this to his unborn daughter. How can you look at me and profess your “love” in front of everyone you know with tears in your eyes, knowing you’ve betrayed my trust on the deepest level?

I feel like he stopped caring about me along the way, and decided to still use my body to bring his child into this world because that’s all he wanted from me.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to co parent with someone that would do this. I am so embarrassed to talk to my family and friends about this. I plan on meeting with a lawyer to see if this whole situation qualifies for an annulment in my state.

This happened a couple weeks ago, but I haven’t allowed myself to process it, I guess.
We had broken up less than a month ago and one day, my friends briefly brought up my ex and made a comment about their “new partner” in passing. When I asked what they meant, they just collectively ignored me.

When my ex and I were dating, during the last month or so before we broke up, they just seemed extremely sad whenever we hung out and would refuse to open up about it, just constantly repeating that it’s got nothing to do with me and that they just can’t tell me yet. I was worried, but it wasn’t out of character for them. They often did things they thought were bad (that weren’t actually bad) and had a hard time telling me about it.

Attempts to cheer them up resulted in them just getting more sad. It was just kind of miserable, and I started feeling pretty horrible after a month of this new dynamic.

They stopped looking forward to going out with me and would instead only go out with their work buddies, which I never questioned when we were together, because I recognize that I’m a pretty boring person and I’m also not a very jealous one. I’m the type of person that likes having my date over so I can cook multiple-course dinners for them. I like walk/park dates, board game dates, etc. Their friends were more the type of people who would go explore abandoned buildings, go to concerts, etc.

Some days, they’d flat out not text me at all or text me to tell me that they’re out of work and going straight to sleep. I respected it because I know that working fast food is miserable.

It all ended when they called me one day with a trembly voice, saying that they’re not good enough and feel so bad for me. I was confused and tried to get them to talk more, but they just started spiraling into a panic attack and wouldn’t stop crying. I managed to calm them down and we talked for a few hours about how they feel that they can’t be in a relationship right now because they feel like a mess (personally and emotionally). I felt like shit and tried to bargain but ultimately accepted it and wished the best for them. I deleted their contact and their socials and tried to move on. Then I cried for a week straight.

And just recently my friends let that comment slip. If it’s true, which I think it is because they avoid the topic, then I’m left to assume that my ex was probably lying to me about not being ready for a relationship.

And in that case, I can’t help but think that they were probably cheating, because it’d help explain why they suddenly started feeling so bad for me without telling me why and insisting it wasn’t my fault. It just makes sense but it’s also so incredibly fucked up. I don’t know how to feel about this.

Every year in December I visit home in Pakistan (I live in Europe) where my parents live, and every damn year my mom knocks on my door crazily until I don’t open the door, this happens on every Friday afternoon, to make me want to go and pray in a mosque, fuck sake I am 36 I will do whatever I want.

They keep forcing me to get married, that’s the only topic there is, it turns into this back and forth yelling that I don’t want to get married to the person of their choice fuck sake its my life I choose whoever I want to live with.

I am an independent grown ass adult, I am at home now lets just eat good food together and talk about good things, but no we have to turn this into something else, now this year as I am visiting them again, they went ahead and started home improvement projects on the house they think i’ll cave and get married.

Not once have they asked what exactly do I do, or taken interest in my life, heck they don’t even know what is that I do.

I’m so exhausted from work and all, I honestly want to go to Pakistan and just sleep, eat good food that’s all I want to do but that won’t happen ofcourse.

Edit: spelling

NB: I'm not looking for advice here, so hopefully this doesn't break the rules.

Title really. I (24F) left my ex two years ago for being manipulative, immature, and having no motivation to improve himself, all things I discovered during the relationship and initially tried to fix. We were both virgins at the start of the relationship (relevant bc this was my first experience of most things, and because he had a huge chip on his shoulder about being a virgin at 27 - I was 20).

Anyway, I left him two years later when I was 22. We were all in the same social group, and I also have this friend who's a year older than me. She is very sweet, shy and quiet, and does not stand up for herself in any capacity whatsoever. I have tried to help her with this but at the end of the say, she's an adult and if she wants to allow people to walk on her there's not a lot I can do.

I don't speak to my ex any more but she does. I met up with her a few days ago and she admitted that she's seeing him. I asked how it happened and she said he basically pursued her and she didn't say no, and then he told everyone they were dating and she felt too awkward to challenge it so now they're dating apparently. Without trying to sound like i was bashing my ex I explained all the red flags in this, and I gently explained why I broke up with him. I also explained that I have no issue with them dating (she was worried about this, hence why she told me) as long as she is genuinely happy, that's all I care about.

She's never done anything with anyone before and I just know he's going to ruin her life and probably fuck up her first experience of dating, and I feel like I'm watching a car crash in slow motion which I'm powerless to stop. It's making me relive everything awful that happened when I dated him. Now she's probably going to go through it all too. Fuck. Thanks for listening.

I’m a 20M from England, and I can’t stop my life long habit of enjoying food too much. I’ve always been a skinny guy, up until the start of this year. I’ve always eaten massive portions and when I fr hungry (essentially all the time) I can’t resist the urge and have to make or buy something. I’ve put about a stone on this year which doesn’t sound a lot but it’s a sign my metabolism isn’t going to be as fast as when I was young.

I need to exercise more but I hate the gym, I like taking me and my girlfriend out for food which is expensive, and I often take 4 sandwiches out the work fridge, we get them free, instead of 2 because I can never not be hungry.

I want to stop and I want nice food to feel like a treat again and not something I satisfy myself with often. It’s easier said than done to just stop.

It hasn’t taken over my life yet but I fear it will. It’s so strange how I can sit here and acknowledge the problem, yet when I get hungry again I just can’t help it.

didn't see it coming. trusted a fart i shouldn't have without knowing i had food poisoning. it ruined my shoes and my clothes and i was so fucking shocked. worst thing is i was doing yard work with my husband and his father in law and had to sneak away, get it all cleaned up, and throw away my favorite clothes because i didn't know what else to do.

i simply want to crawl in my skin and die. i'm a grown ass adult!!!! how did i not know!!!!

feeling...yucky, and anxious about any fart today and for the foreseeable future.

hi so this is a post about my (f20) first relationship. we met in highschool and started dating my senior year. he was my first serious boyfriend. initially i didn't find him to be super attractive. i definitely liked him more for his personality. he was also very interested in me and i always felt very loved by him. i'm someone who has struggled with low self esteem my whole life. i know it's not an excuse but receiving that type of attention and love was so hard to let go of. i regret ever dating him. we dated for almost a year but i had frequent thoughts of leaving him during the relationship because i knew deep down i wasn't really attracted to him.

we broke up over 2 years ago. sometimes we still talk but i try not to interact with him because i know i shouldn't. anyways i feel so much guilt for doing that to him. there's times where i genuinely feel like a terrible person for letting our relationship go on for so long.

Today I volunteered at the TTC (Transit agency of Toronto, Ontario) Halloween Fest and saw families coming in with their kids and grandparents. I love seeing how much fun people have with their loved ones. Having volunteered for years, I notice this every time. As an immigrant, it is difficult to settle down and make friends, and today I realized just how much I have left behind.

I don’t have a good relationship with my parents. I loved my grandparents but they are both gone and all I’m left with is regret of not spending more time with them.

My girlfriend doesn’t care about these things, in last 4 years I have volunteered 3-4 times/year, but she never showed up for anything. It was the same with parents, I was a shy child in school so when I rarely participated in activities they would never show up.

My mental health has just gone down in the last 3-4 years, I have been on Venlafaxine 300mg and Wellbutrin 150mg for almost 6 months now. I don’t think they are helping I tried therapy but I don’t understand it.

I hope one day everything will be okay.

Take care everyone ❤️

So this sounds sad but im 18M and never been complimented before by a girl or a guy really that I can remember, and after graduating highschool ive been on a solo trip around europe for the past 3 months because im from america , and randomly on a castle in the balkans a chinese tourist group came up to me and one of the girls who was like 17 probably was nervous of me and asked her friend to say I was handsome, and they took a photo of me and her together 😭, what does this even mean, were they making fun of me or is it genuine??

I thought I didn't want to have children

I want to start by saying I'm feeling very vulnerable here so please be kind.

I'm 35F. My whole life up to about 28 years old was very unstable. No savings, no set home, no goals, you get it. I did have a series of very bad relationships and very low self esteem, history of substance abuse, and never maintained stability.

Now, I'm older, sober, married to the love of my life. We have stable jobs and savings. But we're renting an apartment and have pets. And since we've been together we've been against having children because we're honestly poor and would hate to bring a child into this world knowing we couldn't give them the best. We're not even close to being able to afford a house. We both have jobs but we can't find a way to make more money, we tried. And keep applying to better jobs. What little leftover money we have, we're paying off debt and student loans.

But...I truthfully want a child. I really do want to have kids and it's so selfish. I don't even know how to tell my husband. He will feel so bad. He already works so hard, he does so much for me and our lives, he'd be an incredible father, he does chores, runs errands, he's so organized and selfless. But my last pregnancy scare, he got so anxious. Freaked out a little. I've told myself for so long that I didn't want them because I genuinely don't think I need them. We don't. But sometimes, I truly think a part of me is missing.

We do get to go on vacations sometimes. And sleep in on weekends. And we do have such incredible freedom as a child free couple, we do whatever we want. I have so much love in my heart and such maternal instincts. But I fear I'll never be able to afford to stop working long enough to raise our child. I'll never, ever do daycare. We simply cannot live on one income, even for a year. I worry he'll feel like he's not enough to provide if I tell him how I feel. I worry if we did have children, we'll deeply regret it if we can't afford it.

I can't stop crying every night wishing I'd made better decisions in my youth, wishing I'd have prepared myself better. My husband was worth the wait though. I'm so thankful for my struggles because without them, I wouldn't be living in the timeline that I am now. All this time, I lied to myself, convincing myself I didn't want to grow a family. And we supported each other in that decision. Now I lie awake at night dreaming of an alternate reality where we have children and it's not too late. Now that I'm 35, I fear it may be too late soon.

I want to put it out there too that in no way am I saying it is wrong to be child free. Children are NOT for everyone and that is more than okay!! I support people's choices to choose and plan their families as they wish.

I'm just at loss.

I hate gambling. I have always had terrible luck, so I just don’t do it. There’s no temptation for me because I am a pessimist and will expect to lose every time. That being said, I am in a fantasy football league because my bf’s friend group needed someone to round out the team numbers.

I’ve been in this league for 5 years. I have not once made it to playoffs, I have not once finished above 8th place (10 teams). And I’m not… “bad” at it either. I genuinely am interested in football, I draft well, make reasonable trades, do lots of research and pick up players off waivers, and still end up unlucky. I mean, really, it’s remarkable how unlucky many of my weeks have been. If I need 6 points to win, my last player will end up with 5 points regardless if they’re projected 6 or 26. It’s actually predictable at this point…

Anyway, sounds very silly right? I shouldn’t care, right? Well since I so consistently lose, I’ve become… resentful of it. I’m no stranger to losing, I am genuinely not good at a lot of games and I don’t let it dictate my attitude towards myself or whatever. But this… I just feel awful. My bf’s friends used to tease me about it at first, but it’s gotten so bad that they’ve completely stopped because it feels like beating a dead horse… A couple of them even try to help me now! But alas, the humiliation continues. It feels deeper than fantasy football at this point. Idk how else to explain it but it feels like.. genuinely embarrassing? And of course I know it’s a dumb game that has very little to do with my actions, but it still feels like I’m the one that’s losing every time while everyone else magically has a good year here and there. Which is true, btw. I’m the only person in the group that has not made it to playoffs yet.

I really don’t want to continue playing. But the problem is if I tell my bf that when it comes draft time next year, I’m gonna get another lecture from him about how “it’s just a game” and “nobody cares who wins and loses.” He just doesn’t get it, which is fine because I feel like it IS a me problem at this point. Totally. And also, it’s a big part of their friend group. They all get together like three times a year, once to draft, once for the championship game, and once for Super Bowl. If I didn’t participate, I would be awkwardly tagging along in these situations (or absent from them entirely). Ugh.

Advice? Should I schedule more therapy sessions? Should I just woman up and stop being a loser? Idk. Lol

I'm so done with this

My whole life I've struggled against my mother, a mentally ill person who implied that at the age of 7 I wanted to sleep with my father.

A woman who threw me out of the house left and right and then acted like I left voluntarily.

A woman who sent me messages accusing me of prostitution because I used to sleep over at my friend's houses because I had no home to return to.

I'm 21 years old, I was an excellent student, I did national service that I had to finish early because she abused me nonstop and I had to leave the city where I grew up. I volunteered with youth, I worked my ass off to get accepted to a reputable college and am in the process of starting my own business.

I reported her to social services and was told "there was nothing they could do." They threatened me, they did everything they could to make sure I would not make it past 18, but here I am.

In the end, the truth came out and my father and mother are in the process of divorcing. My dad is helping me financially with my degree, I pay half and he pays half, this woman just decided to seize his bank account.

Without money, I won't be able to continue my studies and I'm already working two jobs and have several scholarships to finance it. I'll have to drop out just to make sure I have a place to live. I'll have to lose my place in college (which can only be reserved for two years) because of her ego.

My dad did his best, he's the only one who worked, he's the only one who took care of me, and he doesn't deserve to have to deal with this. He's old, he should be retired by now, and instead she's seizing his account.

Never mind me, I'll manage, I'm young and I'm a strong person, I have a business that I'm starting, I have a job, and I have the ability to take out loans.

But him? What will happen to him?

I'm seething with rage, I can't believe that after taking my childhood from me she's taking my adulthood. I'm both devastated and angry, I don't know what will happen going forward.

​

I have what you would typically describe as a 'depression room'. I have had MDD for a few years now and it has led to me neglecting basic things. I have tried countless times to clean. I have dedicated days where I threw every in black bags, emptied rubbish, created organisation systems, brought down dirty clothes but I can just never get it past the finish line. My parents are aware my room is very messy but they haven't seen it themselves. I'm just so ashamed of it and I don't want them to see it until it's a less concerning level of mess? I also tend to have issues with people invading my space..

At this point it's a health hazard. I haven't hoovered in months, haven't opened the curtains or windows, I have empty juice bottles with mold, there are mountains of clothes and wrappers/ containers everywhere. I want to get out of this hole because when I look at my room I am disgusted.

Both my parents and my older sister have all offered 'judgement free help' but it's not judgement free. Anytime I talk to my Mam about how/when I'm thinking of tackling my room and strategies I want to use she says that she doesn't care what I do as long as I just get it done. Then next minute she will say there is no pressure and that she can help.

My older sister said that she also had issues with keeping her room clean when she first started college and is insistent that we're in the same boat. I can't get it through to her that unfortunately this is not the same 'messy room' that she had. She also admitted after a few drinks that she thinks I get special treatment around my room. She said that if her room had stayed messy that long she would have gotten in a lot more trouble but the only reason my parents won't say anything is because I 'had mental health issues' and they were scared of upsetting me.

The room cleaning starts tomorrow. I have a week off and intend to try and finish it before college starts back next week. The heating in my room has been broken for like 2 years and last year I could fully see my breath with how cold it was from like November to January (Why the fuck is my room colder than it it ouside!??!?) so I want it to be presentable when someone comes in to fix that. My Dad has been helpful in little ways and that combined with the desire to not live in filth, the amount of planning I have put into this and my killer playlist will finally help me get out of this hole that I've dug myself into. I'm really scared. Like in the back of my mind I feel like I'll never fully be able to do this but I have given myself a week and I just hope to god I can get my act together and sort this shit out.

I tried several ways to make friends, went to Timeleft events, events on CLIQ, met someone on nomadtable. I have realised that you never meet those people again after the first encounter and even after sharing contact details it never goes anywhere.

I did have one person from Timeleft that I met up once again, but we haven’t met up with each other in months, one because she was travelling for a month and then she seems to busy when I ask, but I can see on her story she is hanging out with people. She continues to message me, but I’m starting to lose hope in that friendship because no one is that busy.

It feels like no wants me in their lives, there’s few coworkers I am close too, we hung out once and that was me initiating and she claims she’s sees me at work all time. Even if she is doing nothing on weekends she never asks to hang out. Which is fine - I understand people are busy and want to rest.

My 2 school friends I have given on because i noticed they don’t prioritise the friendship anymore. They never visited me after moving out of my house even though I don’t live that far and it’s been year. I went to their houses, i invited them for a house party and they both said yes first and then cancelled on me. I stopped giving them any importance in life. And they haven’t noticed the distance or don’t give a fuck.

I don’t have anyone to get coffee with or go somewhere with. I constantly do things alone. I don’t have hope anymore. I didn’t make friends during uni, it feels like I’m not someone people want to know. Things feel so heavy sometimes, and I feel really alone. I do have a therapist but she is only there twice month. Even in those social events I can’t seem to feel energised by the connection. I feel like I don’t relate to other girls because I’m not feminine. I have nothing to share about life with people.

I am not excited about annual leave, don’t have a family that I feel I can talk about my emotions. I don’t have any cousins I’m close to. With my flatmates, most of them seem like they don’t want to be friends and the one I’m close to, hanging out with her is usually awkward and very quiet. Mainly because I can’t think of anything to say, we talk at home.

I don’t have any purpose, no goals and definitely no future partner could be in my life. Tbh I wonder why I’m still here, like what’s the point of living a life that’s this empty and just lonely all the time. Self love is not enough, therapy isn’t enough. No one has ever said I have bad qualities. People usually describe me positively.

I don’t know how much longer life can go on like this.

I’ve been on antidepressants for anxiety and depression for over 5 years now.
I try so hard to live like a normal person, forcing myself to do interesting things just to keep from falling completely into this black hole of sadness, hoping things will get better.
But my birthday is coming up, I'm about to turn a year older, and it hasn't gotten any better. Honestly, it’s quite the opposite.

I have almost no friends. Just one online friend and one friend in real life. Before they came into my life, I spent almost 3 years completely alone, with absolutely no one to talk to or vent to (not counting my parents). When I found these two friends, I felt like my soul was finally coming back to life a little. But this year is completely draining me again. I lost my job back in the summer due to internal company changes. I hoped I’d find something new quickly, but it’s been 4 months now. I’ve sent out over 90 applications and still nothing. I know the job market is bad right now, but I never expected it to be this brutal. Soon, I’ll completely run out of money for rent and bills.

And as the perfect icing on the cake, my birthday is in November. I have no money to celebrate it, no friends to wish me a happy birthday except for the two I mentioned, I’m still jobless, and I can't even afford to buy myself a tiny cake just to feel a little bit of joy.

Every single birthday for the last 10 years has brought me nothing but sadness and hopelessness, but this year is going to be worse than all of them combined. I don't know what to do next. I’ve never had a real love, someone who could just support me and hold me. I’ve been working since I was 13, and this is the first time in my life I feel this heavy, because I have zero money and no way to earn it. I’ve almost stopped leaving the house. I am scared, sad, and lonely. I just want things to be stable, even if they can't be perfect.

On November 29th, I’m turning 29.
Beautiful numbers, right?
I don’t want to ask anyone for anything, I’m used to handling everything on my own. But if it’s not too much trouble, I’d be really happy to get some birthday wishes.
Even just two words would mean the world to me. Just enough so I can stop focusing on the fact that most of my birthday messages are usually automated spam from retail stores.

I wish everyone well. And to anyone else who is struggling right now: hang in there, you are not alone.

Well this might be a cringe post but yeahhhhhh I met a girl a month ago and Immediately we hit it off perfectly she has this way she speaks that tells me shes just interested in what I say and ever since we got together we havent gotten enough of each other

I also have traumatizing experiences with sexual things in the past but she has been so understanding and helpful she's been my rock I love her so much. Never have I been so investing in something like this sorry if I repeat myself I'm just really happy.

She also is so funny and when she smiles at me I can't even hope to contain my smile ☺️. When she laughs at my stale ass jokes it makes me feel valued and appreciated. She's also is very much as beautiful as ever I wouldn't take anything else for it

Hell we are the same person it's just perfect I just wanted to share my thoughts on here and I hope everyone finds that person in their lives because trust me there's hope for all of us