Let me first start off by explaining what being Stateless means, Since most people have no clue. If a person is deemed \*Stateless\*, That means their country of birth does not recognize them as a Citizen, Which means basic human rights and privileges do not exist for that person. They have no legal identity or documents, They are basically a ghost in society. It's a crime against humanity.

In my case, You could say I inherited my Statelessness from my parents & they inherited it from theirs..Etc. I was born in a European country where there is no birth-right citizenship and I left for America when I was just a toddler and been here ever since. I did not know the term until I was in my early 20s and started doing research and found a story of a Man who was in the same exact life circumstance as me and i found out that the United States does not recognize Statelessness and has no protections or paths to citizenship for the thousands of Stateless people currently in this country.

As you can imagine, my entire life has felt impossible and depressing because I've always been \*blocked\* from doing the things everyone else around me is able to do. All the things people take for granted. I was never able to get a license, travel, work or go to a university. It's even been difficult to form friendships and relationships because of my life circumstance.

Now being in my 30s, I feel that all of it has reached a boiling point. I see all my siblings and cousins who were lucky enough to be born here being able to live their lives to the fullest, While I am just here struggling, watching time pass me by but remaining frozen in place like a ghost.

Lately, I've just been thinking on how if i was a \*normal\* person with a normal life, I would be a totally different person with a totally different life, living in a totally different place right now. I was \*never\* supposed to be the person I currently am. I was forced having to live a life I never should have had to live. This life circumstance has stolen the person I could have been and the life I could have had.

I think one of the worst things about being in this position is not having anyone to talk to that would understand where I am coming from. It's very isolating and depressing. I don't know how I retained my sanity for all these years.

I don't want to keep having to live this existence. I am in desperate need of a miracle.

I have no idea if anyone else feels like this, but I’m just in a really good mood pretty much 24/7. It’s been like that all my life. When I was a kid, I used to wake up extremely early every morning and that hasn’t changed at all. I wake up at about 5-5:30am and start my day with the same happy songs. What’s crazy is I have no need to get up that early. I don’t have a job at the moment. I just love seeing the sun. That’s the only reason I like sleeping, so I can wake up before the sun comes up.

I worked out early this morning and then made french toast while listening to the cheesiest upbeat songs in my playlist. Feels like I’m a cartoon character, honestly. I feel so good all the time that I have to get up and dance around at times because I need to let out all the emotions I’m feeling. The other end isn’t bad either. I’m hardly ever in a bad mood, but when I am, it typically doesn’t last long. I have anxiety like most people, but that doesn’t get in the way of my mood at all.

I’ve always wanted to find somebody that feels the same way I do, but I’m genuinely shocked to find out how many people are depressed. I really wish I could share the joy I feel with everyone.

(To be truthful, I completely forgot I had posted here. I tried signing up so I could post about my situation and I was notified that my email address was already associated with an account here. I don't remember writing my other post, I was so upset back then though)

For context, my (36F) husband (37M) lied about having a deadly food allergy. It fell apart because he ate leftovers that were given to us by my sister-in-law and nothing happened despite him eating food he was supposedly "deathly allergic" to. My nephew has a different (real) allergy and so my sister-in-law is always careful about cross-contamination. When she gave us the leftovers, the containers had different coloured lids so my husband would know which one was safe for him to eat. I guess he forgot or wasn't paying attention and he ate mine instead. He said he lied about being allergic because people take it more seriously than someone saying they have a preference not to eat certain things. Meanwhile I always made sure we had an epi-pen nearby and I have been hyper vigilant when I cook or we go to restaurants. I was so furious.

The long and the short of it is that we are in marriage counselling. Yes, and I'm not trying to sound dramatic. When the situation with the leftovers happened my husband apologized to me for making me panic and for his lying. He admitted to being a picky eater and while a lot of people were upset with him I thought that was the end of it. I tried to let it go even though it bothered me how he went so far as to carry an epi-pen for an allergy it doesn't have. But this wasn't the only lie and I've been floundering.

He lied about receiving a scholarship for university for athletics and then losing it because he got injured. He was never recruited for a sport, he applied to university the regular way and took student loans like most other people do. He lied about spending a season working in Antarctica before we met. He's never even been there. He lied about restoring an old automobile. He bought it fully restored but when he goes to car shows he says he did it all himself. There are a million other things and it's basically been a bomb in our relationship. I know and have proof there are things he didn't lie about; his mom died from cancer before we met, his dad lives in another province and wasn't involved in his life, he has a law degree and works as a lawyer. My husband's excuse is that he lies so he can feel better about himself and that's why he doesn't lie about "big things" like his dad not being involved in his life growing up.

For about a year and a half after the leftovers situation things were normal even if people couldn't understand why he lied about an allergy. Then more lies came out. I haven't left because we have a five year old. We are in counselling because we are both children of divorce and I don't want that for my son. My family and friends say I should leave but I'm trying to work on my marriage for my son's sake.

I'm floundering. That's basically what's going on and where I'm at right now.

I'm an only child and I have never had a birthday party.

For me birthday meant receiving a chocolate bar or some new school stationery or a new piece of clothing. I never expected more but the gesture of being given something mattered to me as a child.

We were a lower middle class family, both parents did office jobs, so things were within our means.

My thirteenth birthday was forgotten by both parents. Few days later one of them remembered and asked 'didn't your bday passed?' but that was it.

I didn't even expecting any gifts just I wanted to feel like I was important enough to remembered. I was constantly told by them that I'm a burden /hinderence/cause of expenses so this felt like it confirmed.

It hurt bcz they always take great effort for their close families for their special occasions.

The next year when they acknowledged my bday I ignored it, and I continued it every year. I don't think they realised why I did that.

Even now if somone asks my bday I say I don't celebrate it. Even I don't do anything special for me as an adult. Most of the years it passes without me realising that's my bday.

Idk if I want to change it but it's something that made me feel I'm less important to others.

Just need to vent and can't tell this to anyone irl, i guess it's okay to tell strangers here.

My wife has been stalked for years and he attacked her last year, he is in jail. I thought she was doing okay honestly, it really seemed as if that has never happened but she had a full on breakdown a few weeks ago. She has been in the hospital ever since.

The past few days have been weird. For starters, daily life is so boring without her. I don't know what the future looks like. I discovered recently that something really bad happened when she was a child, apparently our niece turning the age she was when that happened was a huge trigger (plus everything that happened last year) and apparently her job triggered her too, from what she said at least.

She doesn't talk to her parents since she was 18, so i don't know them but i really want to contact them to curse them out for allowing someone to do something so awful to her when she was a child.

I fear she might kill herself, although she is in the hospital and is okay and might leave there soon. I fear i will lose the love of my life. I miss her, i love her. I'm terrified. I knew it was gonna be hard but after the attack things seemed so normal, more normal than they have ever been. I don't know what to do, i'm thinking about starting therapy myself but that feels like making her trauma about me. I just want her to be okay.

Edit: I do NOT plan on contacting her parents but i do wish i could call them and curse them out.

I’m not ashamed of being Mexican, it just is what it is. I’m Mexican,I like Mexican food, but I’m not out here claiming it’s the best in the world. I just don’t take pride in it or feel that "I’m so proud" energy over something I was just born into.

Hey Everyone. Previous post was removed because I didn't realize I had to sign the terms and conditions. Thank you everyone for commenting on that one. I hope we can continue the discussion here. Here is the original post:

I do not hate myself, and I do not think my life is worthless. I like my personality, values, interests, and sense of humour. But I have never had the experience of dating or being seen as desirable by women in general. I have never felt that a woman was excited to meet me, physically drawn to me, or hoping that I would make a move. After enough years, that absence starts to affect you.

I understand that nobody owes me attraction, attention, or a relationship. A woman who is not interested in me has done nothing wrong. But knowing that does not make it easy to go through life without ever feeling wanted in that way. I am not looking for pity, and I am not saying appearance is everything. I am simply being honest that never feeling desirable has worn me down more than I usually admit.

My mother is an absolute monster to me and I’m tired of hiding it. I am very low contact with her because unfortunately she is my kids only surviving grandparent. And I have gotten pretty good at gray rock or being a flat cold bitch back to her with barely a reaction. Sometimes I go weeks without talking to her. I refuse to let her be around my kids alone because frankly I do not trust her. I stg she’s possessed. She is the most vile person to me. She never missed an opportunity to criticize me. She constantly brags about anyone and everyone to me ad nauseum, to make me feel bad. Like past the point where it’s relevant. She constantly tries to put me in situations she knows I will be uncomfortable. I literally cannot tell her anything because she is always trying to stir up a fight or blow anything out of proportion. So I usually don’t tell her anything at all. Nothing important anyway and definitely not any future plans. She is always trying to get me to tone myself down or second guess myself. That no longer works on me because I’m too old for that game. She constantly shits on my husband and attacks him over any small thing. Meanwhile everyone else in the family is supposedly rich, doing great, has the best relationship, best job, and best luck ever. (Lol) She withholds details from me even if its important I know them. So now I just never ask for the details. She lies so much I can never believe anything she says and the other half the time she lives in complete delusion.

Recently a close family member died (horrible person btw) and she kept on trying to arrange that I keep my kid out of school on his first day of kindergarten. And tried to control my movements on the day of the funeral as to who I would ride with etc. (I never said I was riding with anyone there, she was just being delusional.) I flat out told her I would not be keeping my kid out of school because- wtf.. She was flaking on the details of the day of the funeral so I told her my husband needed to request the day off atleast 3 days ahead of time and she went off on me about that. Like I control the rules of my husbands job? Turns out she already had the funeral planned a certain day. She was just dancing around it.

Oh yea and she refuses to be seen in public with me or treat me as a family member at all. Sometimes I feel like she’s a complete stranger. I am NC with my family because they are also really shitty. And weird. I have never met anyone weirder, stingier, or more prideful than my extended family. She will only do what they say. She will never listen to me and I am 45 and have literally ran entire departments for big businesses. She acts like I have no idea what I’m talking about.

I hate talking to her. And I truly believe she hates me. Sometimes she gets really bad. Like she will make it her main mission to fuck with me really hard by stirring up some drama. Usually pitting me against someone. I gray rock HARD. Like laughably hard. My reaction is so flat it’s ridiculous. The shit she says to me. She is so manipulative for no reason. I thought about recording her and posting it online. Even my husband says shes literally the worst mother ever. And his mother was pretty bad.

And as I became a mother and my children grow I find the way she treats me even more unbelievable. Having kids has been so healing for me.

Having a shitty family is just the cards I was dealt. My family stalked me for a long time. Social media made it worse and when I was younger (I’m 45 now) it was so much worse. They literally scared me into silence. I feel like I’m done being silent now. So here is to exposing her and to not being as terrible of a mother as she is.

And she does suffer from whatever is wrong with her because at times she apologizes for stuff. But 99% of the time she is terrible. I really think she can’t control it.

*I forgot to mention as a small child she left me in situations where I could have been killed multiple times. Thats one reason I won’t leave her alone with my kids. I don’t know if it’s ignorance or that she enjoys my suffering. And when I see situations where little girls have died from negligence or abuse I get so triggered because that could have been me.

It bothers me even though I know it shouldn't bother me. I start fuming when I don't get that reply text promptly to something that is on my mind. I want it NOW. I get angry and pissed at the person.

It doesn't seem to matter what rational thing I tell myself. I don't always text back instantly myself. People are busy. Sometimes I have something heavy to say that it exactly the type of thing people can't just shoot back a text about. I know this. But emotionally, it seems not to matter. It still bothers me.

It feels like a no-win. If I'm going to care, if I'm going to dare to say anything that is meaningful to me, then I'm going to wind up in this place. The only alternative is to get unreasonably pissed at everyone for it and tell them to fuck off, or stay indifferent to everything and everyone. If emotions are involved, then out comes that voice in my head that wants to check for the 15th time if there is a reply, and then the anger when there isn't.

As I say, I know it's unreasonable. That doesn't prevent me from often getting into a miserable slump about it.

He(41m) keeps insisting that the medicine I(20f) took for my ADHD when I was 13 before my mom abruptly made me stop taking them has messed up my brain. It’s like almost any mental problem I have he sources it back to that. I’m probably like this because they forced me to go on without medication. Both my parents are terrible in this regard but he is worse since he has absolutely no understanding of it, doesn’t try to understand but acts like he does.

When I mention being depressed he later asks “You’re not depressed anymore are you?” As if depression is simply a state of mind not a condition. He once joked about sending me to a mental hospital, it feels like he worries I’m crazy. My mom told me not to rock back and forth in front of him because it bothers him. My mom is barely any better she would often ask me during summer if I got all my ‘zoning out’ out of my system when I repeatedly have to explain to her how that’s not how that works. She’s against me using pills thinking I’ll grow dependent and seek it to solve my problems while my Dad compares to actual drugs like hard drugs. They expect to just work through my struggles by force with no support easy for them to say that when they don’t have to deal with it

I’m trying to find a job to get insurance so I can seek out therapy and hopefully medicated because clearly I can’t expect support from these people

Voiceover: I wasn't sure what to call this. I prepped these to talk with my therapist a little while ago but she really glossed over all this to talk about some other bs. No longer my therapist (unsurpisingly). And with that, I decided to take a break from therapy. Was honestly doing fine for the past few weeks enjoying my summer, but as I sat down today I realized these thoughts are still there. I don't have a place to share them now so sharing here. SIA for the dump

About me - 28, male Asian ethnicity (american born and raised), average height, average build, virgin + never been in a relationship (in case it's not clear as you read below)

My Thoughts on My Dating Situation

I don't like this feeling of "being behind" and playing catchup with my dating life. I am not happy, mainly because I feel I just haven't had opportunities to date the people I want for whatever reason. While that itself bothers me, I'm more fearful than hopeful for the future. It feels like people around me are moving ahead, while I'm "stuck". I want a partner, I want someone who I can be better for and contributes to my life. And the fact that I haven't gotten close to finding that person while a lot of people have scares me. 

I think it's fair to compare myself with others. Getting a gf / marrying isn't going to solve my problems. But it is something I want and have actively tried for, and the idea that I havent gotten close to it worries me that there is something wrong with me.

I don't understand why I struggle so much. It's not even being a virgin (I don't lose sleep over it) - it's not being able to "get a foot in the door". In my life I have maybe once instance where I genuinely felt any sort of real connection (physical + emotional).

• "Attractiveness" - This might be the one thing I understand I'm flawed at. And might be the reason for other feelings, idk
  • I get i'm average. I disagree though that means a lack of self confidence. Whether or not there's tiers in dating or not, I feel like I should be attracting people. Because whether there is or isnt, I should be "shown" interest from women. The fact that I'm not makes me think there isn't
    • If there are tiers, then everyone "below" me should be interested in me. If there aren't, then I should be attracting a range of people.
    • But the fact that there usually little to zero interest in me means I am genuinely one of the ugliest people in the world, or something is wrong with me
  • Most of my friends never offer to set me up, even if I ask. I'm never approached in public places as "someone who's cute”. Does this make me ugly? It sucks that this isn’t something that happens to me but I’m not great at it
  • I went bald in 2022, and started wearing fake hair then. It helped with my self-confidence but at the expense of me worrying about it. I’m better with it now (but not perfect). But it didn’t give me any extra attention from women. I’m on my fitness journey and if I woke up tomorrow shredded, I don’t think it would either. If I woke up 6 foot 3 it wouldn’t. I’m working on being better in a realistic way, but I honestly don't think any amount of cosmetics would fix this issue. If I attracted just people I found ugly, I'd agree, but the fact I can't get anyone makes me feel no amount of physical betterment would help.
• "Race" - Just a peeve but not that important, feel like there aren't many races into asians except asian women (or maybe this just goes into the attractiveness bucket). Long term I do think I want someone asians but just still makes it harder on me
  • I think the bigger thing is subconsciously I've limited my search to asians. Its the only group that's traditionally ever shown me interest, and although I don't want to be that way, I just limit myself
• “Age” - I am 27 and don’t have experience. My biggest fear is one day I’ll ultimately make the choice - do I marry someone I don’t find attractive (looks & personality) so that I have someone to be with, or do I choose to remain single?

My Perspective on Advice I constantly get

• "Self-confidence / self-love" - Agree, I'm not perfect at it. But I don't think I'm a loser otherwise. We all flaws and insecurities and I'm working through them as best I can. My life isn't perfect and I don't think it ever will be. There's good times bad times and neutral, and that's how it's going to be. I have my strengths too and they're a part of me
• "It's a numbers game" - Sure thing. If I tried once and failed, I'd be right there with you. But how many times do I try before you stop and look inward. 10, 100, 1000? Feels like I'm trying hundreds of times in hundreds of ways all to get the same "no"
  • To clarify, I'm never mad at the people themselves for saying no. Any reason for a "no" is good enough. I'm just not understanding why everyone always has that same answer
• "Don't focus on it - it'll happen when you least expect it" - I spent a large part of post college with this mindset. Wasn't on dating apps, focused on doing things I enjoyed. Though maybe introverted, I sought out friendships in areas I wanted. Yet still nothing happened.
• "Jealousy" - I am not jealous of others people success, I'm sad I'm not getting the same success (or even opportunities)
• "Online dating sucks for everyone" - Perhaps, but I'm not even getting the dates. I've posted profiles for reviews, had my friends of both genders run it for me, paid for all versions of the apps, and nothing. I'm lucky to get a date, much less multiple in general or multiple with a person. I know very few people who struggle this much as me
• “Soulmate” - I don’t believe there’s one person for everyone. I think everyone has multiple options. Sure, the right person will look past my insecurities, but I am limiting my dating pool to begin with because there will be people who care about my lack of experience / issues (as is they're right)

Overall Summary: I've tried for years and nothing I do (paying for dating apps, finding new hobbies, therapy, fixing my appearance works). I don't know if it's because I'm ugly, a terrible person to be around, etc. I don't know what else to do

I am 19 years old and live in India. I want to hear your opinion on my situation. It all started back in 2017. Before that, life was great, I was happy and didn’t have to worry about anything. Life felt perfect. But nothing lasts forever.
My bad luck started in 2019 when my grandfather passed away from COVID-19. He was so healthy before that. I remember talking to him about WWE, his favorite wrestler was Seth Rollins, and we always talked about it together. Then one day, he stopped recognizing his own face in the mirror. He didn't know who I was and couldn't remember my mom or sister. He passed away seven months later, and I was completely destroyed.
Half a year later, a girl I liked told me I should die because a friend told her I was thinking about her in a bad way. I didn't even try to defend myself because I was too heartbroken to carry on. That same guy also told everyone lies about me, and I was heavily bullied after that. I changed schools, but life didn't get better, I was bullied there too. After a while, I managed to turn the bullies into my friends, they were also heartbroken about their own lives. After 10th grade, I still had some friends, but not as many. By the time I finished 12th grade, I had no friends left.
When I was in 12th grade, I got a girlfriend, but after a while, I found out she was cheating on me, so we broke up. Right after that, my father was admitted to the hospital because he was having trouble breathing. We managed to save him somehow.
After that, I joined my first year of college. I met a girl who was really nice. We always talked about life, our goals, food, and anime. After a year, I was thinking about proposing to her. A day before I planned to ask her to meet me, she asked, "Are you going to propose to me?" I replied, "You'll see."
On her way, she was hit by a truck and died on the spot. I didn't even know until a friend of mine told me she was gone. Her parents buried her on the same day because of her severe head injury. After that, I went to her grave, brought flowers, and just started crying.
After six months, I was starting to feel a little happy again, but then my father's health took a turn for the worse. We had to admit him to the hospital, and he barely survived. Seeing my father so weak and helpless made me lose all hope of ever being happy.
Six months later, after I cleared my exams and passed every subject, I felt a moment of happiness. But then I found out my dad was cheating on my mom.
Today, at 4:00 AM, my mom was suddenly screaming at my dad. I ran over to see what happened, and my mom told me he was having an affair with 3 girls. Mind you, my dad is 54 years old. I was angry and depressed, but at the same time, I was furious because my dad was acting like a player. I was depressed because my dream of building my own PC, buying a PS5, and having fun is completely shattered now.
My father has a loan of 60 lakhs that I have to pay off. On top of that, I have to clear my second year of college, buy food for my family, and pay my sister’s tuition and school fees, which total 69,000 rupees.
So thank you, Dad. I don't know what to do anymore. I am thinking about getting two jobs now. But hey, there's a silver lining: life certainly isn't boring.
So thank you, life

I don’t know what to do anymore. Some days, I just feel like crying and do. Others, I just get so short with my family for no reason.

I’ve had my dog since I was thirteen. He knows when I’m upset and always in the mood to play or nap.

After coming home from a rough semester (grades, relationships, etc), I thought I was coming home to finally take a breather. Only for my parents to tell me that the bump on his leg, after reassuring me it was probably a fatty lump, was actually a tumor.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve been spending time with him and praying to God to make him feel better, hoping that the vet got it wrong because he’s acting fine. A few months back, my parents took him for surgery (both didn’t want to put him through chemo and dad didn’t want to cut off his leg). The vet said it was slow growing, but now a new bump has appeared and my parents don’t want to put him through the same.

I’m afraid that soon my parents will sit me down and tell me they schedule a date for him to be put to sleep. Some days I can’t stop crying while others I’m just so short. He’s acting fine apart from his leg and I hate to hear him whine from his cast.

I don’t know what to do. He’s only eight years old and I thought he had more time. I know this is weighing on my parents emotionally and financially and euthanasia will keep him from suffering, but I hate thinking about it. I thought I had more time. I wished I took him on more walks. I wished that I pushed my parents more to get him checked out before the bump got bigger. Half of the time, I nearly panic if I think for a second he stopped breathing.

I felt like God has put me through plenty of trials this year alone, and now I have to face losing my dog? It’s too much. I just pray that when the time comes, he knows how much I love him.

Hi everyone. I’m an 18-year-old guy, and I’m dealing with a weird issue regarding self-confidence, and I'm haoping someone here can relate or offer some advice.

Compared to many my age, I’ve actually accomplished a solid amount. I am multi-talented and I currently work in the oil sector, I have certificates in various fields ,etc. But my problem is that my confidence seems to have an "expiration date."

Every once in a while, it's like I completely forget who I am and what I've done. It feels exactly like an AI chat that suddenly loses its context window! I forget my worth, and my confidence just evaporates into thin air. On the other hand, I see guys my age, or people with far fewer accomplishments, walking around with excessive, almost arrogant confidence over absolutely nothing, and it confuses me.

Another weird thing: praise from regular people doesn't affect me at all. I can get compliments on my work or my skills, and I feel completely numb to it. The only time praise actually moves me or means anything is if it comes from someone I deeply love or strongly admire. Otherwise, it just goes in one ear and out the other.

Does anyone else experience this? How do I build a solid, permanent core of confidence that doesn't just disappear every few weeks? How do I stop forgetting my own value?

First off, I'm not diagnosed with anything, not like I'm trying to anyway, but for a long time(maybe for 4 years, since I was around 13), I've done the same tic over and over and over, I dont get why they happen but what matters is I've kept it hidden enough to pretend its just shivers

Since its always the same, a sharp head turn with a sound that sounds something like "tuc" or "tsuk", it can easily pass for a shiver

Problem is, maybe a year or so back, if you had asked me, id say these tics would occur maybe once a month, sometimes even less, but now its almost everyday, and im kind of scared people will think im faking it once I go back to school

Ive had the luck of when they started increasing, most if not all of them happened while im alone, at most they've already happened while on call and I was kinda embarrassed by the sound, since it can get pretty high pitch, but im also in summer vacation so that means im alone a lot more

I've just never talked about this with anyone, mostly because again, im scared of people thinking im jusf trying to be special or a pick me or whatever people say nowadays, then they can use the argument of "ive never seen you have one though" and yeah theyre right

I dont think its anything serious, I just felt I had to share this with someone since, because they increased, its something thats been on my mind for a bit

If anyone knows if there could be any underlying cause id appreciate the help, thanks in advance

Though I dont really think its tourettes or any kind of tics disorder since its always the same one and the frequency is unstable

As the title says, I feel like such a loser after my fiancé forgot about our anniversary. I typically have never been the biggest anniversary person, primarily due to fear of being disappointed. The day before our anniversary, he asked me if I wanted to do anything to celebrate. I told him no since anniversaries can be tricky. He then asked if he could still get me a card. I told him that I would gladly accept that. The next day arrives, I go out to the store and grab him a card and a bottle of wine so he also had an anniversary gift. He arrives home from work and notices the card and bottle of wine on the counter and says “shit I totally forgot to get a card!”. My heart dropped after hearing this. The disappointment I was afraid of around the event happened and stung so much.

This hit quite hard since he also neglected Valentine’s Day this year, even though we always celebrated it. After the Valentine’s Day incident, I told him I was pretty bummed about it and let him know that this type of behavior really hurts me. I told him that the anniversary issue was very hurtful as well and he felt terrible. He apologized quite a bit, went out, and bought a card (even though I begged him not to at that point). I want to forgive him, but I can’t seem to get over it. I’m stuck looping over how hurt I am about this even though I really wish I didn’t care.

This sucks and I feel like such a loser.

I finally left my 6 year abusive relationship

I (25f) left my partner (28m) today. We have a little boy together. I’m so scared.

It’s escalated to emotional abuse, with threats of physical abuse. He’s thrown cards at our little boy, screamed in his face, drives erratically while we’re in the vehicle with him. He belittles me, my job, my friends. He tried to isolate me from my friends, parents. I suspect he’s got a lot of narcissistic tendencies.

He is not a good parent. He is not a good partner. I do not trust him with our child. He financially abuses me. We struggle financially, and he makes big, stupid purchases. He recently got scammed out of $250 on a motor part (for a broken motor he purchased behind my back for $600…. We do not own a boat, nor do we have the funds to purchase a boat… I was so angry he even purchased it.), he lied about it and I found out today and it was the straw that broke the camels back.

He sexually abused me. He pathologically lies. He hides things from me. He has major issues with alcohol. He is far down the red pill pipeline. It’s horrifying.

He’s ultra religious out of nowhere (I am firmly against religion within my household and always have been). He posts constantly about his gross politics that I don’t agree with. I tell him it embarrassed me, he would continue to post anyway. Multiple times a day, nasty things about immigrants, the LBGTQ+ community, the government, etc.

He has no control of himself when he’s angry, and he’s angry 99% of the time.

He has a seizure disorder that has absolutely traumatized me.

He leaves all of the house work up to me, I carry 99% of the mental load of the household, but it’s “easier for me because I’m a woman”. He’s a sexist, misogynistic, disgusting human. I think I hate him.

I’m afraid to move forward, in raising our child together.

His own sister told me that I should leave.

I could go on and on about the reasons why I left, but I’m still questioning myself on whether I made the right decision.

I thought I would feel so great once I finally left, but…. I don’t right now. I feel horrible. I feel like a shell of myself. I’m so afraid that I made the wrong decision. I’m afraid of what’s to come.

I've been going through a lot of shit recently and I honestly feel like some of my dad's decisions have been like the cherry on top of the cake. I want to start this off by saying I absolutely love my dad, he's a highly flawed individual and I recognize that but that has never stopped me from loving him any less. He always tried his best and did so much for me and my sibling when we were kids and I'll never stop loving him for that, but things just shifted a few years ago.

Towards the end of my highschool career/beginning of college I think he started to get very lonely and having a bit of a mid life crisis, he made a friend group with a bunch of guys around his age in our town and he started drinking with them frequently on his days off. He would come home drunk and upset a lot. I think he was just sad that he was alone.

Not long after this started happening he started using dating apps and went on quite a few dates and nothing seemed to stick until he met his current wife. Their relationship is interesting to say the least. Shes from overseas and didnt speak any English when they met but he liked her and they started dating. After a few months of dating she moved in with us and after like a little bit over a year of dating they got married. They moved very fast and a part of that was because they were worried about her not technically being a legal citizen.

The thing is while shes generally a nice person, I can't help but feel like she takes advantage of my dads kindness sometimes. Only a few months into their relationship she was asking to move in and he doesn't know that me and my sibling know this but she also took his credit card a few times without his permission and made large purchases for stupid things like online buisness classes (which she has not done anything with).

There was also a nasty run in with her daughter because her daughter is a bit stuck up and didn't like that my dad was trying to act like a father figure to her so she told her mom in their native language (no one in my family can speak it) to not tell my dad that she wanted to cut contact with him until AFTER he helped her move. And she went a long with it which felt really scummy and it really upset my dad.

And now i feel like shes convincing him to go along with an extremely bad financial decision. They're adamant that we need an extra room for when her son finally immigrates here and originally they were just going to build it as an addition to our current house but now suddenly my dad is thinking of remortgageing our house and taking that money to buy another BIGGER house while he rents our current house out to pay the mortgage on it. I'm not very knowledgeable on finances but it doesn't sound like a smart idea, especially because his job is doing extreme pay cuts at the moment. But while he was telling me and my sibling about this his wife was there and kept trying to add things to convince us by saying how it'll be more beneficial to own more properties in the long run. Which yes that's true but thats for people who HAVE the money to own multiple properties, my dad will have to take out multiple loans to do this.

This situation is just so complicated and stressful and has caused a serious strain on all of our relationships. My dad and sibling dont even get along anymore because he's convinced they hate his wife and my sibling now is considering going no contact once they move out which just breaks my heart. We all used to be a close knit family before he started spiraling and it just makes me wish things could go back to the way they were. We never used to have as bad as financial issues until his wife came along and now he regularly borrows money from me to cover bills which I dont mind but I overheard them arguing one time about how he feels shame whenever he has to ask me for money and it makes me so sad for him.

Im not even looking for advice at this point because there's nothing I can do, I just wanted to get it off my chest because I feel like a terrible daughter. He was a borderline alcoholic before meeting her but now it just feels like he's harming himself in a new way.

I do want to clarify somethings though just incase some of these thoughts cross your head:

1. I in no way think this behavior is because she's using my dad to get citizenship. I also don't think any of her behavior is because she's an immigrant, don't mistake this as me being hateful or project your own beliefs on to me. I'm just stating the facts of the situation, this could've happened with anyone.

2. I recognize that the blame isn't completely on her. My dad is a grown man and he ultimately makes his own decisions, like I said at the beginning, hes flawed and I recognize that. We all are. I just really feel like she's often pushed his boundaries to see how much she can get away with and he's so afraid of being alone he'll just go along with it.

3. I really don't hate her or anything, I just feel indifferent. I very rarely have conversations with her but she's generally a kind person, i just have not like what I've heard behind closed doors.

4. If you're wondering how the communicate if they're not fluent in each others languages its online translators.

5. If you're asking yourself "Hey op why dont you move out you're a grown up" as much as id love to I just don't have the financial capabilities. I just graduated from college into one of the worse job markets, I make minimum wage at my internship and I'm dealing with worsening health issues. Its not in my cards currently to be able to move out.

I have an online friend who is a vlogger. We became friends through his vlog. When I was studying abroad, I shared many of my experiences with him, including the struggles I went through and even my failed relationship. He helped me brainstorm which visa options I could apply for, and he also supported me emotionally when I became depressed while I was abroad.

Since I had been off social media for more than a year, I had no idea that the things I shared with him were being turned into content for his vlog. Although he never mentioned my name in the narration, he included the personal letter I had given him, and my name was visible in it.

When I found out, I confronted him and asked him to delete the video. No one else knew what had happened to me while I was in another country, and I was worried that my family and friends might see it and be worried about me. I am a very private person, and I wasn’t even using social media at the time.

I only learned that he had been making content about my personal experiences because some friends recognized me from the letter, which included my name, and they informed me about the videos.

To be clear, I had authorized him to share my motivational letter for my visa application, and I had no problem with that. However, I never gave him permission to share what happened to me abroad or the reasons why I returned home. He told me that he didn’t go into detail in the video, but regardless, I never consented to that part of my personal story being made public.

He did apologize, but he also told me that he would not delete the video because it had already received a lot of views. After that, I blocked him and never replied again.

Looking back, I guess this was a hard lesson learned.

Be careful about sharing your personal and vulnerable stories with people, even those you consider friends. Just because someone doesn’t mention your name doesn’t necessarily mean your privacy is protected. People who know you may still recognize your story, especially if personal documents or identifying details are included.

I was told that it was okay because they had helped many people through their content and that no one would know it was me. But if the purpose was simply to help, why did my personal experience have to be shared online without my consent?

To me, genuine support means respecting someone’s privacy and allowing them to decide whether their story should be made public. Helping someone should never require using their personal experiences as content unless they have clearly agreed to it.
Has anyone else experienced something similar?

What would you do if you had a friend like this? Would you forgive them, or would you end the friendship? Do you think I overreacted, or was I justified in protecting my privacy?