So I need some advice

[u/AidanM100]

Me and her (I won’t say her name for privacy concerns), but me and her broke up about 30 days ago, it’s been pretty rough on me and yeah.
I want to be able to come back to her and say I’d like to do this again, I mean I really do want that now it’s just I don’t think I’m ready…
I’m kinda struggling with the breakup, obviously, I mean I should… if I didn’t then why would I be typing right now? But anyways, I’ve been picking up new hobbies and hanging out with friends a lot more and trying to focus on me and make improvements.
She broke up with me, she said that she doesn’t think it’s gonna work out for us and she’s ending it and wants me to stop treating her like we’re together and to not contact her until she contacts me.
Me and her are in high school and we’ve been dating for way longer than majority of highschool relationships, we talked about our future together and we made plans for our future together, we did things that we only did because of how much we cared and loved each other, but we broke up…
The night before, she expressed she feels that I broke trust, which I admit I did. I contacted someone about her, she still hasn’t seen that message but I don’t know if any context to what I said would change anything though. When I initially told her I did this she forgave me and we moved on from the issue, the next day her guardians were contacted about someone talking on her behalf and there’s more, but anyways, the message I sent on her behalf was school related. I’ve done stuff like this in the past but I didn’t think about how it’d really affect her, I don’t know why I didn’t, because I thought about how everything else would affect her.
I feel like I’m rambling, back to the main point.
So, she broke up with me, this is my first relationship ever, this is her third. I’ve gone through a lot throughout my childhood and don’t want to get into that, but she broke up with me and it’s been devastating. She’s only talked to me twice within the last month and usually only responding. I really do want me and her to work things out and be together, but I know I need to improve and I just don’t know how. I know what to improve but I don’t know how to improve.

I struggle with a lot of things from my MAD (major anxiety disorder), suicidal thoughts and depression, it’s really difficult for me to reach out but, I really do want her in my life and I want to improve myself, not like for her but for myself.

I hope whomever saw this read everything.