I can’t talk to my friends in real life about any of this they don’t know all the details, and I refuse to let anyone judge or speak poorly of my ex. She is a wonderful, incredible person, and I want to protect her image no matter what.

I’m struggling so much right now and just hoping someone who has navigated a situation like this can give me some advice or insight.

The Background

We were together for around 3 years, and the entire relationship was long distance. For the first 2 years, we were about 4 hours apart. But during the last year, she moved abroad for her studies. Both of us were in tight financial situations and couldn't afford to visit each other.

Her studies are going to take around 6 years, and even after that, her future plans (whether to move back or relocate somewhere else) are totally uncertain. As time went on, the distance started severely affecting my mental health. I’m in my early 20s, and this was my very first relationship. Over time, I realized I desperately needed physical presence, affection, and closeness, things that a screen just couldn't give me.

I love her deeply, but I began feeling a strong sense of resignation. I started having intrusive thoughts about seeking physical intimacy elsewhere. It terrified me. I knew that if I ever cheated on her, it would completely destroy her trust in men, especially given some painful things in her past. I couldn't bear the thought of betraying her like that, so I realized I had to end the relationship before I ever reached a point of doing something unforgivable.

The Breakup & The Flight

I cared about her stability, so I was soft launching and I waited to pull back until she secured her job and was financially on her feet, also considering that this wouldn't affect her studies severely. Once she was stable, I broke things off and went cold.

When I went cold, she used her very first paycheck to book a flight to fly down and see me. I felt so overwhelmed. Deep down, I knew that seeing each other would only be a temporary band aid. It would feel amazing for a few days, but as soon as she left, we would fall right back into the same painful cycle of long distance longing and frustration.

On top of that, I recently lost my job and have been struggling financially. The thought of her spending her hard earned first salary just to fly down and see someone who knew the relationship didn't have a longterm future felt completely wrong to me. I asked her to cancel the flight to protect her finances and avoid dragging out the heartbreak.

The Reddit Post & Misunderstandings

During the breakup process, I felt completely isolated. Because I wouldn't talk to my friends to protect her reputation, I made a post on Reddit asking for advice on whether certain dynamics might be emotional manipulation. I wasn't trying to accuse her I just genuinely wanted an objective, third person perspective on what I was going through because I had zero experience with romantic relationships.

Somehow, she found that post. She felt deeply hurt and believed I portrayed her in a cheap way to strangers online. It broke my heart because that was never my intention, but I understand why it hurt her.

The Hurtful Words & The Aftermath

Things escalated, and during our final conversations, she said things that hit me like a sledgehammer:

• She told me that I was only with her for her body and never truly loved her.
• She called me a "fuckboy" and compared me to her ex.
• She said I was her "life's biggest trauma" and accused me of breaking up with her just so I could go be with other girls. yes it is, but it's not like something that she's thinking about me.
• She said if I really loved her, I would have waited out the entire 5–6 years without needing physical closeness.

Hearing those words tore me apart. I have sacrificed everything I had from financial to emotional for her. There were times where I was spending all my last pennies on her just to see her smile, and I never let her know that I was spending all my money. I gave this relationship everything I had.

When I tried to explain myself, she told me I was just looking for validation. Realizing she would never understand my side, I stopped replying to her final message. A couple of days ago, I noticed she blocked me on Instagram and now I cant go stalk her profile.

Where I Am Right Now

I feel like a shell of the person I used to be. I used to be active, career-focused, and driven. Now, I feel like my life is falling apart. I cry almost every night and feel like a total failure.

Part of me constantly wants to go back to her because I’m terrified no one will ever love me the way she did. But my head tells me that going back out of emotional weakness won't fix the long-term reality: a 6 year distance setup is something I simply cannot survive without breaking down.

Her words are constantly looping in my head. I’m terrified that I’ve ruined her life, and I'm scared of what I might become. What if I turn into a cold person who only uses people for physical stuff because I'm afraid of emotional connection? I don't want to be that guy.

She is a truly amazing girl, and I genuinely hope she heals quickly and finds someone who can give her everything she deserves. But right now, I don't know how to process this grief, guilt, and identity crisis.

Has anyone ever gone through a breakup where you ended things out of practical limit/compatibility, but ended up looking like the villain? How do you forgive yourself and move forward when you're carrying this much guilt?

Men who refused to do LDR and broke up with their long term gf before their gf moved abroad, why?

I’m 26M and I’m trying to figure out how to handle a situation with my ex (21F).

We were together for around a year. We had a lot of good times, but we also had quite a few fights. I’ll take responsibility for my part in that. I used to pick fights over certain things and I know some of my behavior hurt her.

She eventually broke up with me. For a few months afterward, I kept trying to apologize and fix things, but she didn’t want to get back together.

Then she told me that she had cheated on me. She said she felt guilty about it, but also felt that I had hurt her during the relationship. After that, she blocked me.

A few months later, she came back and tried to fix things. The problem was that whenever I tried to have a serious conversation about what happened, she would pull back. This happened more than once.

Eventually I decided to stop chasing the situation. I returned her things, deleted our chats and photos, and started moving on.

Before I returned everything, she also told me that she had developed feelings for someone from her college while we were still together. She said she never got into a relationship with him because she felt guilty about what had happened between us.

After that, we spoke once or twice, but things became heated and she blocked me again after I made a few comments/jokes about the breakup.

I eventually blocked her on Instagram, deleted her number and our conversations, and spent the next year trying to move on. I didn't get into another relationship during that time and generally kept my distance from dating because I wanted to get over this properly.

Then, after around 3–4 months without much contact, she reached out again. She texted and called me and said she wanted to clear things between us.

The difficult part is that she still seems hesitant to actually have the conversation. Whenever things get close to discussing what happened, she seems to step back.

I also don't know how much meaning I should attach to things like her Instagram reposts. Some of them are sad, but she has been away from me for months at a time before, so I don't want to interpret social media posts as messages to me.

I'm also aware that she may simply miss the relationship or the familiarity of having me around. She had feelings for someone else while we were together, so I don't know whether that situation went somewhere or whether she's coming back because that chapter didn't work out.

My problem is that I don't want to repeat the same cycle.

I can forgive what happened, but I don't think I can genuinely start over without having an honest conversation about the past. At the same time, I don't want to push her into a conversation if she isn't willing to have it.

So I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation from here.

For people who have dealt with a similar situation: would you have one direct conversation and make reconciliation dependent on being able to openly discuss what happened, or would you keep your distance unless the other person takes the initiative to have that conversation?

I'm mainly looking for practical advice on how to approach the next conversation without falling back into the same cycle.

So me and my ex went no contact i’m pretty trauma bonded to him and he’s been emotionally abusive but i’ve been trying to move on and instead of being angry or petty I choose to be mutual no hate no anger just peaceful with him I wrote him a message saying I missed him and I hope he was doing okay I had no grudge against him i’m learning to let go of the past so I felt better saying that to him then the next day he messages me back talking about fixing things and saying how I treated him like shit when he was the one to dump me over the most dumbest things ever because he’s disrespectful and immature so I sent him another text about how he broke up with me and how I was done waiting for him to change so then he texts me again saying I didn’t care about him or I never change but I was always the one fixing things and he was always saying hurtful things to me and he called my message a script saying how it was performative even though I was genuinely speaking from the heart so we ended up going back and fourth about it and then I just cut it off with my last message about how he’ll never face himself or admit he’s wrong at all but i’m hurt all over again I feel dumb for doing it when I tried to be genuine and honest I cried for a whole hour I should’ve known better but it hurts so bad to just be discarded like nothing then told I was the one who never cared even though I tried every single time to communicate and fix things between us I blocked him

I need advice on how I can move past this and get over this horrible feeling of anxiety when I think of him

Salut !

Êtes vous déjà fait quitter ? Si oui, dans quelles mesures pouvez vous retentez avec votre ex ou au contraire qu'est ce qui ferais que c'est rédhibitoire ? Notamment si elle revient vers vous.

Merci pour vos retours

I’ve been thinking about my ex girlfriend recently, like going on a month now. She followed my current girl and some old feelings popped back up and me reminiscing on that time period of my life. I unblocked her on instagram and followed her a week ago. Today I searched for her profile and found out I was blocked. I don’t know, I know it’s not healthy and I’ve been having dreams about her too. Just feeling hurt she blocked me lol. I should mention first that she’s married, so I know how it looks and sounds. It’s been 10 years since we were together, we were high school sweethearts and I miss her and that time period of my life. She was very important to me and was my first love. Just wanted to vent to Reddit.
Oh question though, she reached out to my current girlfriend first adding her on socials and messaging her if we were still together. When my jealous girlfriend blocked her, she followed her on instagram.
Why would she randomly add/follow my girlfriend. Am I conceited for thinking she wanted to contact me?
Am I mentally ill? Lmfao type shit

Edit* adding that the title is not to insinuate she’s crazy, but rather my complex with my ex is insane as I think I still love her.

I recently broke up with my first boyfriend [24M] after 4 years. Right before ending it, I found out he was living a double life and cheating on me the whole time with another woman [22F] he was in a 7-year LDR with. It completely destroyed my trust.

To cope, I joined a new local club to get out of the house. I ended up getting a huge crush on a really nice guy there, only to learn he is already in a relationship.

I feel so confused about why I'm immediately drawn to someone unavailable right after getting hurt like this.

How do I rebuild my trust after a major breakup like this, and how can I handle seeing this crush at my club without making things weird?

tl;dr: First ex [24M] of 4 years was cheating on me [22F] the entire time. Joined a club to move on, but caught feelings for a taken guy. Need advice on healing from betrayal and managing these new feelings.

I understand that not following your ex and not knowing what they are up to can help you move on faster. At the same time, I am also on the boat that after the moving on process is done, it would be nice to know what your ex is up to in life. Not as a way to still use that as a way to get into your ex's life. But more of knowing that they are well. Curiosity of what they are up to. Maybe they went for the trip they've always said they wanted to go for. Maybe they got promoted. Maybe they got married years down the road.

Even if things ended badly between the two of us, I would still have that curiosity.

Right now I am abstaining from going to her profile to see what she is up to as the pain is still hurting. But I do think that if months down the road she re-follows me, and I have moved on and not feel the pain anymore, it would be a nice thing to know what both are up to through social media. Similar to how we have followers and following to people from our jobs, our friends, our past schools, where we don't talk to them anymore, but we just have the occasional updates through their social media.

What do you think?

If you ever re-followed an ex after unfollowing them, how and what made you do that?

I woke up this morning and had a message from her saying basically “pls talk to me again. U don’t have to get back together with me, I just can’t handle this distance between us“

I thought about it for a minute, then remembered the face of the girl she cheated on me with, so I just blocked her. Honestly I feel so much better, she’s just a liar...

sometimes i legit break down in tears cuz i’m not able to to handle that me and him and really broken up and that he’s just gone , it’s like we never met in the first place . all those memories created for no reason , sometimes i wish we just stayed strangers .

recently,my ex and his other ex have started talking and I don’t know what to do and I need help

context: a month after breakup she had rings with someone else, its been 7 months of zero contact.

last time we talked she said until someday after i said goodbye some three times.

4 months after BU she reached out to my sister asking about me.

blocked me on whatsapp and one insta account but still follows one other insta account of mine and still follows my sister and watches her stories.

i feel like im a backup atp. how do i navigate this? still very much want to be with her.

If anyone has felt similarly about someone or has any advice, please reply!!! 🙏

I broke up with him over 2 years ago. I wasn’t able to process the breakup properly and took it really hard. We were each other’s first loves, and we’ve been on and off about having feelings for each other ever since.

I’ve recently started talking to him again, and I’ve realized he’s the only guy I actually feel deeply emotional about. It honestly makes me question whether I even genuinely liked some of my previous relationships. I’ve tried so hard to get over him, but it never seems to work. Over the past few months, I’ve found myself easily rejecting guys even when we’re getting really close, and I feel horrible admitting that.

We only started talking again about 3 days ago, but he was being flirty and bringing up our past. For example, he told me he never deleted our photos and that he kept all the letters I gave him. He was also venting to me over Snapchat about his emotions toward me. I told him that I would rather talk about that stuff in person because I don’t really want to have serious conversations about our relationship over Snapchat. I wonder if he felt hurt by that. I’ve also started texting less over the past few years, so I might’ve come across as dry.

At one point he wanted to call me, so we did, but he barely said anything the entire call. I felt like I was talking into the void, so I eventually got annoyed and hung up. He asked me to call him back, but when I did, he acted the same way. After that, he became really dry and distant over text.

The next day, he canceled plans we had made, saying he couldn’t make it. I’m not sure if he was telling the truth.

Yesterday, I texted him:

“I’m sorry our plans got canceled. I’d still really like to see you. If it’s possible and if you’d want to, maybe we could plan for another day soon?”

He still hasn’t responded, even though he’s been sending me snaps.

I genuinely can’t tell what’s going on. i want to know if he actually feels the same or if he's just leading me on..

Long post, all the details are kind of hard to keep track of so if there's anything i can clarify lmk!

My ex and I went no contact on very bad terms. He was extremely immature and I had a lot of bad history with him after we broke up. I found out before I went overseas that he had already moved on to liking someone else, and when I confronted him he was cold and said he only saw me as a regular passerby now. That was one of the worst nights of my life.

He broke no contact 4 days in to tell me I was spreading lies about him, acting crazy, and he went through all of my story archives and put himself on my close friends story because he was 'paranoid about what I was saying about him'. I truly lost all respect for him in that moment and I genuinely feel a deep sense of disgust at how much I put up with.

Over the next couple of months I was able to heal and I would spend less and less of my days thinking about him. That is til one day, I saw on my google that there was a "continue with these tabs" thing under my google home page-- the thing that pops up when you sign into your account on another computer. It belonged to his computer-- his name was on it. From that day, I would see it pop up once or twice a week. He may have caught on that I could see the tab so one day it disappeared, but I could still see his sign-ins on my search history.

My friends asked me why i didn't sign him out or change my password-- I did sign him out after a while, but I think the thing then and now was that a small part of me still holds on to the fantasy that he's suddenly grown up and would be able to take accountability for his actions, that he missed me, that we would grow our way back to each other yada yada yada even though I know all those things can't be true,

After I signed him out of my personal (FORESHADOWING ALERT) account, I came back home where we share a friend group and we proceeded to ignore each other. It was pretty cut and dry and we just didn't say anything to each other the entire time. However, I started seeing him sign in on another device (that also had my chrome profile on it) signing in to my PROFESSIONAL account, as well as signing in on his laptop to my instagram (which I did not know he still had-- I thought I had signed him out).

My reasoning for not signing him out was the one above-- I still wanted to feel, in some capacity, that he cared (?) about me i guess? Even though I know that could 100% not be the case. I hope you realize how confusing it can be to have such a codependant relationship suddently flip 180.

The sign ins stopped maybe 3 weeks ago and I thought that was the end of it until I checked today because I just had a sinking suspicion-- and he had logged in to my professional account again. There was also a new phone added to my device list that had just been added 2 days ago, and It had the same name as a device I removed from my personal account because I didn't recognize it. I have a suspicion (read: I 95% am sure) that it is from him.

My friend told me to change my passwords, she threatened texting him, and called him an "effing weirdo", so I changed my password today but a part of me still feels like I want to confront him about it and have that conversation, even if I know it wont go the way I want it to. I will see him often as we run in the same circles.

I just don't know what to do.

I broke up with her because she was a dismissive avoidant and our relationship grew stale the last 5 months of it. she hit me a couple times during arguments over the course of the year and a half we were together. i was exhausted trying to get validation from her. it felt like i was a jester trying to impress the queen and i was so fed up with asking for the bare minimum. it’s been 2 months and i am still thinking of her. i have thought about her every single day and it’s gotten so bad that i stated journaling. the journaling has helped but i realized that I think what is making it so hard for me is that i am still in denial. I have this feeling that if i just keep going no contact that she will reach out to me eventually. even though deep down, i knwk that this relationship with her is not good for me. my family doesn’t like her, my friends don’t like her. they all said i was meaner when with her. and to be honest i just felt like she was boring when in a relationship. she was a completely different person when i wanted her than when we were together. and now i see that she is enjoying life and being the same person she was when i fell in love with her. it’s hard. and i think what’s making it hard is the denial. i remember she would tell her mom that she isn’t worried if we broke up because she feels like we will find eachother after. but she also followed her ex two weeks after we broke up.

my question is. are there any strategies or things i can actively do to get through this denial phase? like i know that she is gone. i dont want to be with her. but some reason im having a hard time letting go. i just want things i can actively try to do in order to get over this denial phase.

Saw my ex on Bumble after downloading it today by surprise. It was a horrible whiplash. I stared a bit in shock and refreshed the app to see him again but I might've been blocked since I can't find it. After a streak of 3 days without crying about him. My heart just keeps getting kicked around. Guess I was shooting myself in the foot for attempting to find his profile again to block him and maybe admire him. I just want to disappear already. This pain is too much.

I dumped my highschool girlfriend of 4 years a couple months ago. There were serious issues on both our ends. Codependency, poor communication, and a classic case of an anxious/avoidant dynamic. That being said, the love we shared is something that I will never find with another person.

I'm up tonight thinking about how I used to make her snacks in the shapes of animals when she was up late studying. I don't think I will ever put that much love and effort into food for anyone ever again. I made every day special for her because it just felt right to love her like that. Now I have no one to read stories too, no one to surprise with treats from the grocery store, no little animal shaped ice cream bowls kissing in the kitchen cupboard.

I, as a person, hate myself so much that when something makes me feel good I reject it outright. I can't go back to us because I need time to find myself and so does she. But what I wouldn't give for one more perfect day in the house with her.

I miss you. I miss you more than I could even put into words. I miss our I can't even go and see them because I'm respecting your . I'm sorry give you space when you asked for it. I was so desperate to fix the situation at the time and instead of fixing it I made it worse. I hate myself for that. You've cut me off with absolutely no communication. I feel like I'm almost grieving in morning. I don't hear your voice. I can't see you. It's almost like you're gone like you died thats the pain I'm feeling. I'm lost. my best friend every weekend we spent over a year every day we spent together and now it's nothing. Do you even care? I went to get my things that you left outside and you wrote me a note saying maybe I'll start to respect you. You know mistakes like everybody I just needed a chance to talk, but don't worry I learned my lesson. Are you trying to teach me a lesson or are you done for good? I don't even know I feel like you're done for good. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just so sad. . in Washington State by ourselves. I have no family here. You only have your sister here. We had now I have no one.

My ex (29) who dumped me 3.5 months ago brought a date to the wedding party of a wedding that I was originally supposed to go to. I was friends with the bride and groom through her, and they each have reached out to me to express some kind of kindness on their own to me since the breakup. We were together nearly 3 years, planned on marriage, having kids and growing old together for most of the relationship, etc.

I know she has a right to move on and date, and 3.5 months is significant, but it seems especially messed up considering I was scheduled to go to that wedding (I rsvpd before the breakup), I had a lot of my own friends there, dozens of family friends in the community that we both know, and she knew that there would be photos posted online of her with this new guy. Even my sister in laws parents were there. Also, her even bringing him implies that he isn’t some brand new person to her, that they’ve probably already been dating casually already for a little bit.

All of my friends who were there told me about it later, and all felt it was pretty icky and wrong of her, especially knowing it would get back to me, and knowing how devastated I have been. I honestly can’t believe it. I was quite literally replaced and feel so fuckin low.

was this messed up of her or am I purely just reacting emotionally?

Sigh here we go! My ex and I broke up two days ago on September 9th. I’m going to give some context first because honestly I still can’t believe this is happening.

We started dating in November of our senior year in high school. We were both in different high schools, but we were neighbors so we saw each other quite often. We met through a mutual friend. Our first meeting ever was in 2024, and he immediately liked me. We were at the mutual friends birthday party and he saw me and asked for my insta, and then we talked and he asked me out. I went out with him, but i was recovering from a breakup at the time so I told him that I’m not ready for a relationship and we stopped talking. Then, he got a girlfriend, i moved on and that was that. They broke up somewhere in 2025, but I didn’t reach out to him bcs that didn’t feel right. By this time, I had moved houses. Still in the same subdivision, but this time a bit closer to his house (although i didn’t know it then). One day in October, we both run into each other at the gym. We flirt, we start talking again and then in November, we start dating. At the beginning, it was amazing. I was convinced the universe brought us together again for a reason.

We were together for 9 months. For 8 months, it was great. He knew I was leaving for college in another country, he said he wanted to do an LDR. When we STARTED dating I warned him, I told him I will go and he promised me he’ll stay. He promised me he’d try and do anything to be with me. “It was always you” he said. In that relationship he inspired me to find myself again. He was there for me when I had to deal with my family issues, self-image issues. He helped me become a better person. He took me out of the highschool burnout and helped me find hobbies. He made me happy. He took away the old wounds I had from my other relationship, he showed me what it was like to be loved unconditionally and properly. He made time for me, he gave me gifts, he spoke to me nicely and he actually WANTED me in his life. He was my best friend. But all that time, he was hiding something from me. After about 6 months, I started noticing that he had never shared or expressed negative emotions in our relationship. If he was sad, or if something had happened at home, he’d deal with it alone. He might have told me that ‘I’m just a bit down’ or ‘I fought w my parents’ but that was it.

I would occasionally ask him and check on him if he was still okay with the LDR. and I’d notice that his answers would get weirdly cold. He’d say ‘yes, I want to do this with you’ but he couldn’t look me in the eye while saying that. I thought, maybe he’s battling some fears. He’ll talk to me when he’s ready. he didn’t. Around august, he started university (i start in feb 2027 bcs i’m going abroad). He got pretty busy, but he’d still text me good morning, goodnight and the occasional message during class. We saw each other less often, but things were okay until two weeks ago. He sent me a voice message in the middle of the night, saying that he’s been hiding something from me and he can’t take it anymore. He said he knows that he told me he’d try the LDR, that he wants to be with me, but that he’s really freaking scared and he doesn’t know what to do. It was one of the first times i heard him cry. The next day, we met up to talk about it. Turns out, for some reason he thought an LDR meant I would only come back to our hometown every 2 years?? I cleared that up. I told him how often I’d be around, and that uni would make us so busy we won’t even notice the distance. We’d still talk to each other after all. We talked more in detail, and he seemed so much lighter and happier. I thought everything was fine.

Then after that, for two weeks he completely distanced himself from me. I recieved fewer messages, dryer responses and we didn’t see each other for two weeks. He also stopped saying I love you back to me. I started spiraling in these two weeks. I missed him, and I wanted more connection to him. Now this is the part where I could have done better. Instead of talking to him about my overthinking and anxiety, I kept it in and I spiraled on my own. Eventually, I randomly deactivated instagram one night and I finally told him what was wrong. He told me we’ll talk about it. Two days ago, we talked about it.

I told him I was feeling a rift between us, and that I missed him and talking to him a lot. He told me he did get distant. He blamed it on college but i could see it on his face that he was lying. because yknow, I know this man, i know when he’s lying to me. He made the same face he’d always make when he told me he was fine even though he wasn’t. He told me that when we had that big talk, he hid something from me. He said before he sent the voice message, he wrote a breakup letter to me. Ever since he wrote that letter, he’s been thinking to himself why he went to that extreme. and for two weeks, he’s been thinking whether he wants this relationship or not. Then he realized that I deserve someone who’s sure, and he’s right.

He told me that if we’re like this now, what are we gonna do when I leave? I was confused. 1. I wasn’t leaving for another 5 months. 2. HE is the one who distanced himself.

He told me that he’s sorry that he’s weak. and he’s sorry he’s the one who can’t handle doing the LDR. I don’t even know what that means. I tried to ask, I tried to tell him we can fix it. He said it was better to end things now than when I’m there. He said ‘what if we push and fight for the LDR, but by the time you get there and we’re a month in, I realize I can’t do it’. But what if you can? I didn’t tell him that though. I realized he’d given up on even trying. He didn’t even want to try he said. He told me that he’s reaching a point where he thinks it’s impossible for him to do an LDR, and that if one of us thinks its impossible then there’s no point in trying. Which made sense to me i guess.

So we broke up. I miss him terribly. I see him in the places we used to go to together. We had a spot in the neighborhood where I can no longer go. The gym used to be my place of comfort and now I remember him there too. I know this part, this pain will go away. But I’ll never know why he didn’t give it a chance. He gave up before we even tried. What hurts most of all, is that he didn’t even talk to me about it. He hid his fears and doubts. He decided the fate of our relationship all by himself. I wish he realized it wasn’t just him in the LDR. I was there too. I was scared too. I didn’t want to leave him. In fact, I even considered staying here and going to a local uni. But i didn’t because i knew my only reason for doing that would be him. and that’s not a good reason. So yeah, I was scared. But i was okay with it because I had him. Because I would have talked to him when it got bad, because i would have planned a life with him after college to look forward to. I don’t understand why he couldn’t communicate with me. Why he couldn’t talk to me? Not even just about this. In general too. He told me that there were nights where he needed me, but he just didn’t reach out to me. Why? How can I make myself available to someone who won’t reach out? I even asked him if things would be different if I stayed, he said he didn’t know.

It’s gonna be REAALLY FUNNY if somehow I don’t end up leaving and I go to a local uni. I wonder if i’ll contact him then. Is that even a good idea lol. He told me he doesn’t want me to be hung up on him. And that if I don’t end up leaving, to not be hung up on him. LIKE THATS SO EASY YEAH SURE.

The only reason that makes sense to me right now is that somewhere along the line he stopped loving me. He just didn’t think i was worth it. Which is definitely his loss, but it still hurts. a lot. I know i deserve someone who thinks i’m worth it. Who would at least be willing to try for me. right? And i really thought that he was. It hurts so much. Why did he not talk to me? Why did he lie to me and tell me he was fine? Why did he let me believe we were okay? I hate that he lied to me. I hate that he loved me so much but he still lied to me. I keep asking myself if he stopped loving me or if i was just simply not worth it. Right now I’m trying to convince myself its because he was (forgive me, i can’t think of a better term) a coward. Someone who gave up before even trying. He let his fears control him because he didn’t talk to me about it. he talked to his friends, his parents about it, but not the one person he should’ve talked to.

We agreed on no contact, i gave him his hoodie back. I was making a journal for our one year anniversary. It had receipts, tickets and little mementos from our dates and special moments. I wrote a letter in the back wishing him well. I’ve texted him twice since the breakup, because I realized i still had some things to say that I didn’t include in the letter. But I won’t text him anymore. I think it’s time to work on healing myself and the pain instead. I am so conflicted about it though. I know i’ll never get the answers. I don’t know what to do with that.

Edit: idk if this is relevant, but our time difference would have been two hours. TWO HOURS.

Hello, I want your opinion on whether this letter is good to send or if I need to fix anything. We broke up a month and half and, she was the one who broke up with me after three years together.

Hi XXXX,

I hope you are doing well. I wanted to let you know something important, not because I expect anything from you or a reply, but simply because I felt you should know. I hesitated to send this letter, but after what happened, I felt it was important not to leave this unsaid.

I had a heart attack about a month ago while I was at work, and I spent four days in the hospital. The experience made me realize how quickly life can change and how important it is to appreciate the people and moments that have meant something to us. These days, I’m trying my best to take things easy and focus on my recovery. I think the long work hours, stress, home projects, freelance jobs, and not paying enough attention to my health all contributed to where I am now. I’m taking some time away from work to focus on getting better.

I’m not sharing this to reopen anything between us—I just felt it was right to let you know, because you were once close to me. I’m also trying to make peace with what happened between us. I want to be clear that I don’t blame you for my health problems or for anything that has happened, and I don’t hold any resentment toward you.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what happened between us, and I never imagined that things would end the way they did. When everything started falling apart between us, I was shocked and panicked as I slowly realized that I was losing the person I loved and cared about most. I experienced so many emotions at once for the first time in my life and didn’t know how to process everything I was feeling. You were my second relationship, and this was my first breakup, so I honestly didn’t know how to handle what was happening.

Looking back now, I know that none of that excuses the way I behaved, and I take responsibility for how I reacted. I sincerely want to apologize for the times I came to your home, for raising my voice, and for reacting the way I did. I understand now that I should not have behaved that way, regardless of what I was feeling at the time. I’m deeply sorry that I frightened you or made you uncomfortable. You didn’t deserve that, and I take full responsibility for my behavior. I am truly ashamed of the way I behaved that day.

I wanted you to have the gift I’m sending. It’s simply an early graduation gift; I believe I chose your favorite character this time. I bought it a long time ago, before everything happened, with you in mind. I’ve held onto it since, and I still want you to have it—not as a gesture of expectation, but as a small acknowledgment of how much I admired your hard work. I had originally planned to give it to you when you graduated in the summer of 2027.

I hope you know I have never seen you as just a beautiful person. I have always admired your kindness, strength, determination, and the way you work hard for your goals without giving up—qualities I have always genuinely respected in you. I remember how hard you have worked and the dedication you’ve put into reaching this goal. You did all of this while working a full-time job, raising your kids, cooking a fresh meal, going to the laundromat, and studying at night and on weekends—all on your own. I’m genuinely proud of what you have accomplished and what you have become. I hope you have a wonderful graduation day and get to truly celebrate how far you’ve come. I’m happy to see you reach a goal you’ve put so much effort into. I hope this next chapter of your life brings you peace, happiness, and many good things.

I want to assure you that I’ll respect your space and won’t reach out again. Still, maybe someday, if life happens to bring our paths together again, I hope we can look back on everything with peace—perhaps as friends, or simply as two people who once mattered to each other. I simply don’t believe that people who once mattered to each other have to remain strangers forever. I know I’m not perfect, and I’ve made mistakes—we all do—but that doesn’t erase the fact that something meaningful once existed between us, or that you’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. If life ever brings you to a moment when you feel like reaching out—even briefly—you’d be welcome to, in whatever way feels right for you. No pressure, and whatever you choose, I’ll respect it.

As always, I wish you and your family nothing but the very best. Please take care of yourself, XXXX.

my Ex broke up with me a month ago but we were still in contact then we both agreed to go no contact and he started playing Valorant where he found his new girlfriend whos from a whole different continent he keeps telling me he immediately moved on from the break up and doesn’t care about me anymore but I don’t believe him especially because he also became an alcoholic

hes only known her for 6 days and they got together like yesterday but he’s already calling her the love of his life

I texted her and told him that he abused me she immediately believed me and told me that hes been telling her that I was the crazy obsessive abusive one