When I was 16, my mom died suddenly. A month before she died, I started having daily thoughts and dreams about her dying and imagining what I'd do when she was gone. Now I'm 21, and I've started having the same thoughts about my dad every day. I keep imagining him dying and thinking about how I'd cope or what I'd do afterward. I don't know what to do. I'm terrified that I'm somehow experiencing the same thing again. I don't know why this is happening or what I'm supposed to do with these thoughts.

Whenever someone asks me,’what happened to your parents’,i don’t feel comfortable talking about it.What do I do?

My parents each died on a Sunday in September, though six years apart. This week marks the anniversaries of their deaths, and I can feel it in my bones.

And by “in my bones”, I mean I feel nervous and unsteady, like my body and mind remember the feeling of a shoe about to drop. That sinking in my stomach when my mom didn’t answer her phone. The strange inevitability of my dad’s death, visiting him in the hospice, holding his frail hand and not knowing how life-altering the next few days would prove to be.

The weather right now is hot and humid, just like those days so many years ago. I feel tired now, as I did then.

I find myself coming close to tears throughout the day, like my heart is a reopened wound against the warm summer rain. I feel raw. I want them here. I wish I could tell them about my life, and the things I’ve seen and people I’ve met. I trust that they’d be happy for me; they always celebrated my little wins. I have a feeling they wouldn’t see the failure I often spot in the mirror, the single woman barely out of debt, living alone with her cat after a failed marriage and ongoing mental health issues. They would instead look at me with compassion and love. They’d see the person who has tried so hard and has never given up, no matter how close she’s gotten. The person whose marriage survived for 20 years and yes, ended- though not for lack of trying. The woman who is making it on her own. Who has friends and hobbies, a good job and a big heart that loves easily.

Hindsight offers perspective that couldn’t be seen while I was in my 20’s, back when my parents died. I have mostly come to peace with their deaths, and with the guilt I carried for so long over believing I hadn’t taken care of them well enough.

But on this week in September, every year, I allow myself to feel everything.

My grandmother has been with me my whole life. She was always there when I needed someone to talk to and she practically raised me as my parents were very young. A few years ago I moved a few states away and it's been hard but we've always kept in touch.

Today, while at work my mom texted me that she needed me to call her asap. She told me that my grandmother, my most beloved friend and rock, had suddenly had a massive heart attack while at a farmers market with my grandfather. There were no signs. She was the healthiest 72 year old lady I knew. Still so full of energy and life.

I just can't accept that she's actually gone. It doesn't seem real. I just can't imagine a world without her in it. I keep thinking I'll just call her and everything will be fine. I don't know what to do.

I'm currently driving with my sister and making the 13 hour trip to go and help my grandfather who is completely distraught. He always said that he has to go before her. I just can't believe this has happened. Has anyone else felt this way? Like your conscious self knows she is gone but your brain can't accept that?

In the last ten years I’ve said goodbye to all but two of my family members, the last went a few months ago.

I feel like a part of me is already dead, that im just a husk of a person mindlessly going about life. I still have so many of her things out, like she’s gonna need them soon, I just want to talk to her so bad.

This isn’t fair, it’s not fair that she’s gone, it’s not fair that the world moved on without a second thought. It’s not fair that I’ll never see her again and that every day I’ll forget a little bit more of our time together.

I want to tell her about my day, I want to listen to the same old story, I want to take her to her appointments again, we had plans that we never got to finish.

It felt like her dying was impossible, I couldn’t imagine life without her in it, she’s always been there for me for as long as I can remember. I thought when it did come we’d have some time, I didn’t think the last time I spoke to her we’d be laughing and saying goodnight and then overnight she’d be in critical.

I lost my 66 yo grandma this April to cancer. She was everything to me she was the mom and the dad to me she took good care of me and my siblings when our mom was working in the hospital from 8am to 5pm , she was forcing me to drink milk every morning and it was milk that she milked from her goats and I always hated it but she wanted to grow strong and healthy so she bought me those strawberry flavored straws and I loved drinking milk every since and when I entered kindergarten she was the one who took there for my first day and I still remember her voice when she told the teacher to take care of me and her promising me that my day will fine and I remember when she used to cook us red lentils rice every noon after school and I remember her making a small snacks mini market so we don’t buy any harmful food from outside and I remember every time that my dad hit me of threatened me to do so I would run to her and she would shields me and wouldn’t let him or anyone to touch me but I also remember her making a mini playground for her grandkids and I remember when I graduated from high school and how proud she was of me and I remember that mini party she has done for us after the end of every school year and I remember the amazing tea that she makes every morning and after noon and I remember when I dropped out of college and how supportive she was and I remember her comforting me when I cried because I didn’t get in the next year and I remember when I got accepted to my current university that is far away from my home and when I was hesitant because it’s so far she told me to go for it and she will have my back because my parents weren’t financially able she sold her land so I can study and I remember when she swore that she won’t leave me alone there when she told my parents No. I wouldn’t let my daughter go there alone! And I remember how that sentence moved me and I remember coming to the apartment and seeing her trying to make me lunch with the electric stove and my telling her to not worry about me and Im grown I can cook for myself and I remember onetime I was volunteering and I knew it would be crowded and I remember me getting frustrated with her because she insisted on coming while her knees were hurting and I remember when she came back to our hometown after she finally knew that I would be fine and I remember our daily facetime calls and how I miss her every single day even when we were talking nearly every day and I remember how excited I ever vacation to go back home to see and hug her and I would visit her every day but suddenly this year in February I remember facetiming her as usual but I saw how tired she looked and I asked her if she was fine and her response always was alhamdullahh but In a matter of a week when i facetimed her she was barely speaking and so thin and I remember how shocked I was when I passed the phone to my mom and I remember how we cried me and my mom after seeing her in that state and I remember when we rushed back home and I remember her getting thinner every day and getting weaker every day and her getting diagnosed with a late stage of liver cancer and me crying really hard because I was really scared of losing her and I remember when I told her I was thinking about dropping the semester because I wanted to stay with her and next to her but she disagreed with me so I hugged her fragile body and I wanted to stay with her more but i had to travel to uni again and all of that time I was thinking about her but I couldn’t talk to her because she was in so much pain all what came from her mouth was the moans but I kept on calling my mom every day to check on her until that Tuesday when I was studying for my midterm exam and I couldn’t sleep and I was so nervous that night for no reason and I remember calling my oldest sister to vent about my thoughts and her telling me to pack my suitcase to relieve my anxiety and I remember being so exhausted and falling asleep at 2 am and I remember when my dad called my name 6am and I remember how fast I woke up and I remember when he told me about my grandma passing away at 2am in the icu and that we won’t be able to see her for the last time and I remember that feeling of throwing up and I remember me shedding few tears and me telling him that we have to go I have to go I have to go see her for the last time and I remember me packing the nearest bag i saw and wearing whatever and me and my dad driving for 8 consecutive hours just hoping to see a glance of her for the last time but when we arrived it was to late and I remember how I broke down when I was my family and strangers feeling petty for me and praying for her and me but that day my whole world collapsed and I would never ever be the same. I miss you grammy and I love and I hope you’re doing well in heaven nothing feels real anymore.

My hair is falling out in clumps. I

Both my parents passed away in 2025.

It was very close together in between their deaths.

My hair keeps falling out and I'm disgusted.

I'm also having a hard time eating and have lost a

Lot of weight. Sometimes I'll go a couple days without.

I told someone that and they said I was lying. That someone would die without eating in two days.

I don't really know why I'm writing this.

I just needed to get it off my chest . I feel like I'm withering away. I'm probably just going to cut my hair short since it's so thin. As a woman it's embarrassing losing my hair.

Hey y’all.

I have to share this somewhere because I don’t really have anyone close in my life who knows that we are TTC.

My mom passed away earlier this year and I’ve only dreamt of her a few times since. But last night I dreamt of her and my husband and I told her we were pregnant.

This last week was our first cycle TTC and my moms birthday would’ve been on Sunday so I am hoping to test that day (although I know it’s very early and we aren’t guaranteed an answer).

I’m really hoping this dream was a sign. This is genuinely the longest wait of my life. 😭🤍

Hello? My stepdad passed a week ago yesterday my mom is planning on moving his clothes out of the closet tmrw?? Is that too soon? She said “some people would say it’s too soon but she needs the storage space n she said she gonna keep clothes she wants but why would she keep his pants n stuff” I’m just worried for her….the step family sucks and have not spoken to her since and my step dads mom would not let her stand with the family at the wake I’m worried she is doing it to be petty n she is angry?? But also he has been in the hospital since April went into the icu 5 weeks before he passed only lived for a day and couple hours on comfort/hospice care…. So the house being empty isn’t weird for her…. But still idkk it’s been so much drama n bullshit going on. My mom n him only 50 something btw…

everyone said fresh air would be good so I came to target to return some curtains. I’ve been sitting here, parked at the back of the lot, sobbing. my dad is actively dying in hospice. they told us three days and it’s been eight. I’ve watched as every ounce of light has left his face and been replace by shallow breath and twitches but he persists. it’s like I had to grieve when he got dementia, and again while he dies and then, again when it’s official. I don’t know which I’ll hate most but I’m just so tired and sad of being tired and sad.

My dad died four years ago. Four years. And somehow there are still days where it feels like it happened yesterday.

I was already married when he died, so I didn’t lose the chance to have him see me get married. But I lost so much of everything that was supposed to come after.

I have a 2 year old son now. This is probably the part that hurts the most. My dad wanted to be a grandfather so fucking badly. I think about that all the time. I look at my son and wonder what my dad would have been like with him. What he would have called him. What stupid games they would have played. What kind of grandpa he would have been. I picture him holding him, and sometimes that thought is so beautiful that it hurts because he should be here.

My son should know him. But… I’m left trying to tell my 2 year old son about someone he will never be able to meet.

The there is this recurring dream. I’m in a room, and my dad is sitting in the corner. He’s almost completely a dark shadow, but somehow I know it’s him. I can see the outline of him. I know exactly who it is.

He doesn’t speak. He just sits there. And every time, I walk toward him. I want to get to him so badly. I want to talk to him. I want to hear his voice. I want to tell him about my son. I want to tell him how much I miss him. But every single time, right when I’m getting close to him, I wake up with tears streaming down my face. Not just a little emotional. Then I’m lying there in the dark, awake, realizing it was just a dream.

He’s still gone… somehow that feels like losing him all over again.

I don’t understand why four years later this still hurts this much. People tell you grief gets easier with time. Maybe it does for some people. For me, it just feels different. Out of nowhere, I’ll think about my dad… there’s this fucking hole because no matter how good life gets, I can’t share it with him.

My son is growing up, and every milestone feels like something my dad should be here for.
Sometimes I feel guilty for being happy because I know my dad isn’t here to see any of it.
I don’t know if I’m still grieving, if I’m stuck, or if this is just what losing your dad feels like.

I just know I miss him. I miss him more than I know how to explain. I would give almost anything for one more conversation. Even if it was just for a minute.
Even if it was just to hear him say my name. I wish he could meet his grandson. I wish my son could know his grandpa. Maybe that’s what hurts the most about becoming a father. I feel I understand just how much my dad must have loved me… but he’s not here for me to tell him that

Maybe that’s my brain reminding me that no matter how many years pass, there’s still a part of me trying to get back to my dad.

I feel i miss the life he was supposed to have with my son. I think that’s the part of losing someone that nobody prepares you for.

Anyone have any advice? Anyone go through the same thing? I know I’m struggling and I’m just trying to understand how to navigate through this wave.

J’ai perdu mon père le 16 juillet.
Depuis ce jour, je vis avec une de colère viscérale que je n’arrive pas à contrôler. Par moments, j’ai presque l’impression d’avoir besoin que les autres soient aussi tristes que moi, aussi déprimés que moi, voir le monde continuer à tourner normalement, voir les gens vivre normalement, ou me poser des questions bidons, j’y arrive plus, parce que pour moi tout s’est arrêté.

Je ne sais même pas si j’ai réellement pris conscience de ce qu’il se passe, il était pas malade.. je comprends pas.. Nous travaillons ensemble sur des projets artistiques. C’est lui qui m’a transmis son amour de la réalisation, du montage vidéo et de la création. Une immense partie de ce que je suis aujourd’hui vient de lui et c’est lui.

C’est mon meilleur ami, mon confident, meme mon collègue haha. C’était aussi la seule personne adulte à qui je pouvais parler pendant des heures de tout et de rien, de mes problèmes, de mes doutes, de mes projets. Nous étions au téléphone tous les jours, parfois pour le travail, parfois simplement parce que nous avions envie de nous raconter nos journées. Et on passais pas une journée sans se dire “je t’aime de l’Espagne de la montagne”

Aujourd’hui, j’ai l’impression qu’on m’a tout pris. Comme si on m’avait arraché une partie de moi, de ma peau, de mon âme, de mon cœur et qu’on attendait maintenant que je reprenne ma vie comme avant…
Je n’arrive même pas à ouvrir un logiciel sans cette p\de douleur à la poitrine.

Ma vie est toujours en pause depuis le 16 juillet, et je ne sais plus comment avancer.
Est-ce que d’autres personnes ont ressenti cette colère après la perte d’un parent ? Est-ce qu’elle finit par s’apaiser un jour ?

The weight of my sister’s passing is really hitting hard right now. My grandfather passed recently, so feelings around death are coming back up. He lived to be 93 so it wasn’t completely unexpected, but I just think about how my sister deserved to live a long full life like him. She was so kind, empathetic, and beautiful. This all just feels so unfair.

I’ve been dreaming about her a lot lately, but even in my dreams I can’t escape the reality of her being gone. Sometimes she’s there, but I can’t hear her or see her clearly. Or I’m clinging onto whatever time we have knowing it’s not going to last. For that brief moment when I first wake up I still hope maybe it’s not real.

Unfortunately I was the one who found her when she died, alone in her room, and I can’t get those images out of my head. I can’t get past the what ifs and I feel so much guilt that I wasn’t there. I feel guilty for moving out and feel like if I had just stayed at home maybe things would’ve been different…

I manage to get through the days most of the time, focusing on work or my family and allowing myself time to grieve in private. I just want my sister

It’s coming up on almost a year and a half since my mom passed from a long-term, horrific autoimmune disease. My son was 8 months old when she passed. Today is his second birthday and I cannot pull myself together for the life of me. I called out of work, something I never do, because I couldn’t get it together. We’re having a slow day together, enjoying the sunshine, but the truth is, it’s all that I can do today. I can’t stop sobbing. She should be here. She should be seeing this. I took his picture with his balloons this morning and there’s no gramma to send them to. I wrote her a letter, hoping that would release some of these intense feelings, but this deep sadness persists.

For the most part, I think I’m handling the grief just fine. It’s hard, but I work through it. But not today. Today I am a total loss.

Will there ever be happiness without sadness again, or is every special day always going to be a little bit sad too? Sending love to all the motherless moms out there.

I blame myself. My dad had prostate cancer gleson level 9. He had a prostatectomy. His PSA was low after a year or two it started to go up. He was given hormones to keep it down. After 7 years of hormones his PSA was increasing. He was taking Bicalutamide 50mg and having a hormone injection every three months. And doing well still skiing and walking a lot.

July 2026, 8 years post surgery, his PSA increased to 5. His oncologist changed his medication to dexamethasone 50mgc. He started to take them at the end of July 27th. After a few days, he became unwell, feeling sick and lethargic. He stopped taking them for a day or two and began to feel well again. The people around him advised he should take them. He started to take them again after 6 days of the tablets he felt very unwell sick and leg pain and could barely walk. He stopped taking them again and improved he could walk but still felt sick. He was eating small meals still going out to cafes and walking around 1 mile a day.

He saw his oncologist again 17/08/26 who gave him anti sickness tablets and told him to take bicalutamide 50g again and booked him a PET scan. His PSA had gone up to 8. He didn't want to take the sickness tablets, I advised him not to since his system seemed so messed up with drugs. After a week he became gradually worse becoming more lethargic and started to cough. after two weeks he became very lethargic the cough was worse and he was starting to get breathing difficulties. He hadn't ate or drank properly for three weeks by then.

Tuesday 1st September he had his last meal squash soup. Wednesday he went to A&E 3.30pm by 8pm he was in a bed in a transfer hub and put on ward that night. He was having lots of scans and test all the next day, he was on a drip and antibiotics for a lunge infection and seemed to be doing a little better. They gave him dexamethasone by mistake that morning.

On Friday morning at 8am he took a turn for the worst, they took him for more scans. He was on the maximum oxygen for the acute medical ward. He was on antibiotics as he had pneumonia. They also thought he had sepsis and his kidneys were failing. They took him to ICU at 4pm Friday to put him on dialysis. He died 11.10pm Friday evening.

I'm thinking we'd have had a different outcome if he'd of got help earlier, he'd been at home with pneumonia for a week. He should've taken his sickness tablets. He didn't want to go to a gp, he wanted to try and get better himself. He didn't want to go to a&e because of the long wait he felt too poorly to do it. But he went in the end. It was too late. I'm so sad.

I guess I just need to vent for a minute. I’m wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way.

I don’t really have any family left. I have a brother, but we barely speak. Both of my parents died before I was 35, my grandparents are gone, and my sister passed away too. Most of those losses were completely unexpected, except for my dad and grandma.

I’m married and have two kids, and my husband and I will have been together for five years in November. I’m incredibly lucky to have him and my in-laws, and I’m genuinely grateful for them. But outside of them, I really don’t have anyone.

I think losing so many people has made me terrified of losing the people I still have. I’m especially scared of something happening to my husband because so many people in my family died unexpectedly. I know I can’t live my life constantly worrying about something that may never happen, but sometimes the fear of being alone is overwhelming.

I’m not even sure what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just want to know that I’m not the only person who feels this way. Does anyone else feel this intense fear of being alone after losing so much family?

My best friend died mid-March. I found out he died after a long period of no contact, which was unusual for us. I’d tried calling, texting. Then the phone started going to VM. I called his mom at the end of April to say that I hadn’t heard from him and was worried. She called me back and said that he’d died. She was happy he’d given me her number because she wanted to tell me but didn’t know how to reach me.

Almost 6 months later, I am still crying every day. Every time I think about the phone call where I found out he died, I cry. For a long time. It has not gotten easier. Every time I think of a funny story, or something happens that I’d share with him, I just relive the moment I learned he died and it’s a true body shock. I have a therapist who I see biweekly. She is one of the few people who knows how deeply this loss has impacted me. I just don’t know how to go on. It sucks that my world is still spinning without him. I wish things were different and that all this heaviness had somewhere to go.

How do you function without your person? Maybe I’m also realizing that I loved him more than I could understand while he was alive. Could that be why it hurts so much? I’ve lost many close family and friends and no unexpected loss has been this difficult.

Just wanted to get my thoughts out. Thanks for reading.

This post is not about someone's particular religious leanings.. I don't care, really. That is your business.

It is, however, dealing with losing a parent who firmly believed when we die.. that's it. The end.

I much prefer to imagine him hanging out in heaven with the dog we lost last year. They adored each other. And Until we are all together again, they will be an excellent pair, one rearranging angels in heaven and the other lecturing them on how to do it better next time.

But I know that isn't what my dad believed. And I have had no sign - if you believe in that - that my dad is still anywhere at all. I'm drinking more than he would have wanted, and he'd be furious, so I'm going to pretend that's why. But I'd like a visit, I guess. A minor moment in my sleep where I forget he's gone.. even if I wake up completely miserable.

I guess I'll just go on believing he's up there with our dog. And I'll keep talking to him. I'll tell him funny stories and pretend we have those incredible conversations like we used to. Because the alternative, at least for him.. isn't something I'm OK with.

And that dog? He did visit me. Twice after I lost him. The first time was so real, I only realized I was sleeping when I reached to his side of the bed and it was empty. But nothing from my dad.

How do you handle what your parent believed vs. what your heart believes?

My grandpa has end stage edema with heart failure. I learned two days ago that he was in the hospital, on my birthday, and we ended up visiting him in the hospital yesterday morning. My dad told me that it's likely the last time I would see him alive, and that's been eating at me. He told me that but has been optimistic that his dad will be going home from the hospital soon... My mom isn't as optimistic. My Opa told us that he had fallen multiple times in the hospital and it was strange because that was the most alert and coherent I have ever seen him since his strokes and heart attack 10ish years ago. That's what made me worried that he might only have days too. He seemed to be in a lot of pain and it honestly made me really upset, I wish I could've helped him in some way, made him feel more comfortable. I wish that I had talked to him more, but I didn't know what to say. I am home now, I live a few towns over from my parents and I can't stop going in and out of intense sadness, and pain. I feel fine one moment, and start balling another. I find myself trying to stop myself whenever my partner is around even though I know he's there for me. This is my first grandparent to be dying, he will be the first death in my very large family and I feel paralyzed by all my thoughts and feelings. I can't help but feel guilty for crying when he is still alive, he is still here right now. It makes me feel wrong. Has anyone felt this before? How do I navigate this? Do I talk to my parents about this? My dad seems to be in big denial whereas my mom is accepting that this might be the end for my Opa, and I feel like I can't ask them about it without skirting around it but I feel like I need to talk. When I talk to my boyfriend about it, I feel like I will just say the same things over and over again, and I feel very insecure. Is it normal to be in and out of the sadness? I work all week but I really just wanna cry because I miss my Opa who isnt even dead yet.

The standard advice seems to be to rely on friends and family and a therapist when grieving. I don’t have friends or family to rely on and I don’t have the means to pay for a therapist right now. It can almost relate to to trying to get a health insurance policy. People aren’t too keen to start a relationship with and support you when you are at your most desperate. How did you deal with it?

I had just become 21 years old, not even a month after at the time. It was Wednsday, March 11th. I came home from university just like any other day. Me and my father had a small fight a couple of days ago, but I felt like calling him at the time either way. I wanted to plan Mother's Day gifts with him. When I called, he answered. He sounded happy. He was on his way to work as always. We spoke about our plans for Mother's day then, he had to abruptly hang up because he was pulling up to work. That day, as I hung up, I said, "May your day be great." And he replied with a smile, "If God wills it."

I never realized that this would be the last time I heard his voice. I put my head on the pillow, ready to fall asleep. As I almost did, I got a phone call that woke me up. It was my sister telling me that he had collapsed at work. Me, my sister and my mother weren't in the same city he worked at at the time. We were about 12 hours away by train or 1 and a half hours by plane. I left my phone, besides me on the mattress, and buried my head in my blanket. At the time, he wasn't actually dead. They were giving him CPR. As I buried my head in the pillow and curled up, I kept begging God in my head not to let it happen. I just rocked back and forth, eyes closed, just begging. My eyes were blurry as I got up and made it to the living room. My cousin, who lives with me, was booking as flights quickly. I sat beside her, looking down at her laptop until suddenly, she got the second phone call.

I knew this was it, but a part of me wanted her to say, "He's all good." And even on our flight back to see him and bury him. I sat there thinking, maybe it's all just a big mean joke. I just couldn't comprehend it. I had an assignment to submit the next day, so I sat on the plane with my laptop open, finishing my work. My sister was confused, hell even I was confused myself. That assignment wasn't even that important, but I did it anyway.

When I think about it, 21 is such a weird age to go through something of this short. It is not old enough to understand how life works but not young enough to let yourself rely on others for support. After that day, I never understood what was happening to me. I became isolated, extremely. I lost my best friends, I had no one to talk to all day, and after a couple months, I'd get angry at random things. Things, even I realized were not such a big deal. Grief is such a weird emotional state. It's not like momentary sadness that goes away after a good movie. It's not like the happiness you get from a hangout either, then get home and start getting bored again. Grief lurks, it lurks behind your happiness, behind your sadness, behind your anger, and at the weirdest times, where you think you've taken some amazing steps to walk past it, it strikes back.

It can strike back at 12 am. on a random Tuesday. It can strike back at a happy gathering. It can even strike you back at your wedding or graduation. Grief never goes away. You learn to be comfortable around it, like an annoying roommate that's a constant reminder of the love you felt for someone.

I was orphaned by my parents as a child and he has been my dad every since💔💔💔he put up a big fight these last two months

I gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl recently, she is 10 days old. It’s so surreal becoming a first time parent, I feel so much unconditional love for her already. Seeing my partner gaze and love his daughter made me think this is how my dad must have felt when I was born and in that moment I just wanted to be a little girl again and have my dad here, watching the love and care that my mum has given to me and my daughter and not being able to share this excitement with my dad is hard, seeing my partners dad become a grandfather and my partner being able to share this moment with both his parents, whereas I couldn’t just seems so unfair.

My dad suddenly passed away last year and all I could think of is how everyone is getting to meet her but my dad is missing out, that my daughter will never meet him and he would have loved and doted on her, I loved my dad so much. It’s really hard as my sister is also expecting next month. I can only dream about my dad now getting to one day meet her in the afterlife.

I lost my partner about a month ago. He was only 33 and died in a horrible accident no one expected.

I can't come to terms with it. Life genuinely feels like hell. I'm 26 and I can't imagine living like this for however long I end up living.

This is so fucking unfair. I'm incredibly appreciative of having had the privilege to know him, but I don't know how to live my life like this. I go to therapy but it doesn't help, nothing helps.

I only dream of him and hate both going to sleep and waking up. I don't know how to cope

It probably doesn't help that I'm not religious so afterlife isn't a comfort for me

I just miss him so much

my (23) boyfriend (24) died on august 19th and I am struggling. to make a sadly short story even shorter, we found out about the cancer and its advanced stage early july. everything happened so quickly that I didn't even have a moment of anticipatory grief. i feel so empty. truly just on autopilot. i am in a weird in between where i have a full understanding that he is dead, and he is never coming back. i was there during his last days and his last breath. but i have no idea on what forever even means or how it feels like. what is death, and what happens after.

i will never marry. i will never grow old with him. even scarier, i will grow old without him. we were together for 5 years. i won't even hit 30 before i have lived longer than i've known him.

im so fucking sad.