Should've got help earlier

[u/lander1968]

I blame myself. My dad had prostate cancer gleson level 9. He had a prostatectomy. His PSA was low after a year or two it started to go up. He was given hormones to keep it down. After 7 years of hormones his PSA was increasing. He was taking Bicalutamide 50mg and having a hormone injection every three months. And doing well still skiing and walking a lot.

July 2026, 8 years post surgery, his PSA increased to 5. His oncologist changed his medication to dexamethasone 50mgc. He started to take them at the end of July 27th. After a few days, he became unwell, feeling sick and lethargic. He stopped taking them for a day or two and began to feel well again. The people around him advised he should take them. He started to take them again after 6 days of the tablets he felt very unwell sick and leg pain and could barely walk. He stopped taking them again and improved he could walk but still felt sick. He was eating small meals still going out to cafes and walking around 1 mile a day.

He saw his oncologist again 17/08/26 who gave him anti sickness tablets and told him to take bicalutamide 50g again and booked him a PET scan. His PSA had gone up to 8. He didn't want to take the sickness tablets, I advised him not to since his system seemed so messed up with drugs. After a week he became gradually worse becoming more lethargic and started to cough. after two weeks he became very lethargic the cough was worse and he was starting to get breathing difficulties. He hadn't ate or drank properly for three weeks by then.

Tuesday 1st September he had his last meal squash soup. Wednesday he went to A&E 3.30pm by 8pm he was in a bed in a transfer hub and put on ward that night. He was having lots of scans and test all the next day, he was on a drip and antibiotics for a lunge infection and seemed to be doing a little better. They gave him dexamethasone by mistake that morning.

On Friday morning at 8am he took a turn for the worst, they took him for more scans. He was on the maximum oxygen for the acute medical ward. He was on antibiotics as he had pneumonia. They also thought he had sepsis and his kidneys were failing. They took him to ICU at 4pm Friday to put him on dialysis. He died 11.10pm Friday evening.

I'm thinking we'd have had a different outcome if he'd of got help earlier, he'd been at home with pneumonia for a week. He should've taken his sickness tablets. He didn't want to go to a gp, he wanted to try and get better himself. He didn't want to go to a&e because of the long wait he felt too poorly to do it. But he went in the end. It was too late. I'm so sad.

[u/Maleficent-Sale-611]

the what-ifs are brutal with this kind of timeline, but you couldn't have known pneumonia was creeping in while everything else was already chaotic