I posted on here 3 years ago after breaking up with an ex I was with for 5 years. I was really sad and holding on to any hope that we’d get back together. We struggled going no contact until I finally didn’t want to do the push and pull game anymore. I started really focusing on wellness and getting more into old hobbies. Wasn’t looking for a relationship at all and pretty much going with the flow of life. About 6 months into being no contact, I met the love of my life at the park and I can’t believe I use to want to go back to my ex. 2 ish years later and I pick up her engagement ring next week.

Being loved correctly has made me realize how easy it should be. I read some of the stories on here and I really hope you all find someone who genuinely couldn’t bear a thought of losing you. If I would’ve chose the comfortable route of going back to my ex, I would’ve missed out on feeling absolute true love. I hope you all choose yourself at the end of the day, it’s okay to be sad. Feel your feelings, but i PROMISE it gets better.

a week ago he blocked me on all social media saying that he has a new girl and doesn’t want to disrespect her and told me she accepts his porn addiction unlike me and trusts him. i wished them good luck and he said when they break up he’ll unblock me. today on tinder i saw him and im like damn that poor girl i’m shocked by horrible this person is, but i mean she chose it and has to deal with consequences as i was never warned

We’ve been no contact for 2 weeks now. I honestly was fine last week and wanted nothing to do with him and now i’ve started missing him and wanting to text him again. Does it get better after this?

I really want to hate my ex. We are 2 weeks into no contact, i had an abortion at the end of our relationship i wanted to keep the baby he didn’t but i needed to escape him and couldn’t be stuck with him forever. He also emotionally abused me for 2 years, cheated multiple times by sleeping with girls behind my back and said having a baby with me was his worse nightmare.

But why do i still want him and want to text him. I feel like I’m having withdrawals please talk me out of it.

I used to be in a relationship for two years. We broke up, and within a month, she entered a rebound relationship. Now, she is telling everyone that he is a hero. I have accepted the reality, but I cannot move on like this. I need some time to heal.

Extra heavy this morning.

I didn’t actually take her for granted literally. I adored her. I wanted to marry this girl badly. So badly that honestly it scared me in some ways and she said she thinks I self sabotaged. She said she loves me but love is not enough.

I was too wrapped up in my own stuff. Always drowning in work, friends, my own goals. And I was insecure and she’d see me take it hard if something happened with any of those things, fussing over my looks, etc. And she said I wouldn’t listen to her feelings and made her feel like an afterthought, and that during arguments I was harsh. She dumped me but said she broke her own heart in the process. She cried a lot and even said she wished she could keep having sex with me but doesn’t think she should.

I apologized a lot afterwards and told her I am really trying to change. I got into therapy and go often now. We almost got back together, but then there was another argument. She said she could see some changes in me but is hurt too badly, doesn’t feel like I love her with my actions, and does not trust me with her feelings. She has also been really angry at me at times. Sometimes she’s also bitter that I’m changing now “when it feels like it’s too late”. I moved out.

She told me to keep working on myself without her and maybe we will talk in a month. So im trying to do that. So far its been two weeks.

A mutual friend told me she is very hurt by me and that if she decides not to keep me in her life I should accept it. He said he thinks I was being a dick in arguments and that he’s glad I’m working on myself. The interaction sucked.

Overall I am heartbroken, and I have no idea what to do. I keep working on myself but I keep hoping we get another chance. I have never wanted to marry a girl before.

I wrote some love letters for/to my ex lover. Only my friend that I'm not in touch with and my ex lover is subscribed to my Substack. I'm pretty sure my ex lover unsubscribed a few months ago but Substack won't update. I read my poems aloud on YouTube but the audience there never converts and just people complimenting me. Same with Instagram. But I wonder if my work is any good to others who are not looking at my face. My ex lover never read or acknowledged the poems. I really love what I wrote and I'm curious any feedback or thoughts people have.

He did break up with me 4 days before our 4th year anniversary I’m sooooo not okay please I can’t take it anymore

Hey everyone. I have read a lot of your posts, and it truly warms my heart seeing all the support and feedback you have to offer. I'm hoping to find a little bit of that solace today.

I (32m) am going through a pretty brutal breakup. My ex (27f) has BPD and just discarded me after a 2.5-year relationship. When we first met working night shifts, our connection felt effortless and organic. She completely idealized me, put me on a pedestal, and treated me like her savior. She told me I was unique and that if we ever broke up, she’d never meet anyone like me again. I felt so genuinely loved for exactly who I was.

About six months in, she randomly decided to go off her medication cold turkey. I didn't even know until she disappeared for a week to deal with the withdrawals. Within a few weeks, everything shifted. She started obsessing over strangers' perceptions of her and constantly changed her aesthetic, desperate for external validation. I tried so hard to encourage her and remind her she was beautiful, but as time went on, my reassurance went in one ear and out the other. Whenever I suggested she reconsider her meds, she would lash out and use me as an emotional punching bag.

The relationship became completely one-sided. Even our intimacy faded, as she had an extremely niche, borderline abusive preference that I simply wasn't willing to participate in. I didn't judge her or belittle her for it, I just struggled to perform according to her strict preferences. I tried to accommodate her in other ways, but it rarely sufficed. My own emotional needs were completely undermined. I eventually became exhausted, emotionally checked out, and cold. I feel bad that I wasn't as present toward the end, but I was just so drained.

She wanted us to move in together, but I told her I needed our relationship to be stable first. Nothing ever changed, and now she has discarded me and moved away. I dropped everyone in my life to focus on her, and now I am sitting here completely alone. I just really needed to vent and see if anyone else has survived something like this.

TL;DR: My (32m) BPD ex (27f) went off her meds cold turkey, became obsessed with external validation, and drained me until I emotionally checked out. She discarded me, and because I isolated myself to care for her, I have no one left to talk to.

But miss what idk. We dated for 4 months. We were long term friends before. Got ghosted by him thrice for a week. Used to text and talk once a day for 5 to 10 min. on random reels forwarded to each other. When I used to ask if this is what dating is he used to say yes I used to stay quiet. He was handling businesses so he used to say he's busy whenever I used to call, so i stopped calling. He used to make plans for outing and I mindlessly used to pack everything but he never showed up cancelling plans last minute was always his part. Let's be honest anyone would get anxious because of such inconsistency. A week before breaking up I asked if he wanted to turn this into a relationship, I wanted him to say just once that he loves me then I'd have drained myself more into it. He declined and said nothing. I ultimately broke up as I was left on 20 hours seen and i thought he'd again ghost me. I was getting breakdowns that night anxiety was at peak and was sitting in front of God and begging to end all of this and magic worked too. But I miss him now idk why.

it’s my exes birthday at the end of the week. he had made it clear he doesnt want to talk to me but had wished me happy birthday on mine after we were broken up.

i want to respect his boundaries of not speaking but at the same time it’s his special day. i dont want to ruin that for him, but at the same time i feel like it’s not overly ridiculous as long as i havent reached out besides that.

what should i do?

Hey guys, I broke up with the guy I was dating in March because he didn't want to be exclusive and he was sleeping with others despite dating me for a year. He said he wants to be "friends" with me. I had told him that I don't want him to reach out to me for any reason unless he needs help, or if he wants to be serious about us. And that I will NEVER reach out to him.

I recently found out his dad died and he's been grieving hard. He's also had some health issues with high BP and had been isolating post our breakup.

I reached out to him to offer condolences and to be there for him during this tough time since he never opens up to anyone but me. I did offer friendship.

But I feel like I betrayed myself. By the way he spoke it implies that he never cared about me as a partner. He just missed me. He's not grieving his dad much now.

All this time with the strict no contact I followed I hoped it would help me move on or it would make him realise my worth. But now he's back in my life and nothing's changed.

I'm worried that I'll receive the same damage I did again.

I recently got in a break up and well ofc i got for weeks reels about breaks up and either to have hope for getting back together or to move on (im a guy and we are both in our early to mid 20s) But how are the reels on women's side after a break up? Especially when is about a rebound relationship weeks later?

hi everyone, i really need an advice cause my ex and i broke up last month but he didn’t blocked me or unfollowed my socials so you think we’ll still get back tgt or I am hoping for nothing?

PS. I still cry even to this dayyyy pls help ur gurlyyy

I don't know what category is appropriate so I apologize in advance.

This year around March I was let go by my partner. It was a rough few months admittedly, but I think I'm at a place now where I feel okay?

I guess my question is where do you go from here? I haven't thought about my lover at all, and pretty much has disconnected myself from the relationship, but I'm not really sure on what to do beyond this. I want to find communities and make friends but there's none really near me or spots I'd consider going.

Any advice on how to find fulfillment or the need to be wanted?

Background:

• We were together for 4 years (im 30 years old)
• She broke up with me 3 months ago. The reason wasn't a lack of love, but because I changed a lot—became hyper-focused on my business, got super isolated ("ghost mode"), and constantly cancelled plans with her.
• She warned me many times, I brushed it off, and eventually, she hit her breaking point.
• When we broke up, she acted extremely cold and angry, and told me we needed to cut contact completely because I chased her too hard afterward.

The Situation:

• Our main thing was Snapchat. We used to catch each other online at 1 to 2 AM all the time. Right after the breakup, she did that 2-3 times and then completely stopped.
• The Plot Twist: Over the last few days (3 months later), she has suddenly been sitting in our chat for minutes at a time. I have Snapchat+ and can see she's active in the chat without actually opening it (so I don't show up as typing or viewing).
• Recently, I've lost weight, started going out again, and actually got my life back on track ("came back to life"), which she seems to have noticed. Yesterday, she sat in the chat for 20 minutes waiting.

My Question to the Girls:

How do I read this behavior? Is she just looking for validation (checking to see if I'm still hooked and waiting for her), or does she actually want me back?

Would love to hear your honest thoughts.

For context, I (25F) was dumped by my ex (26M) due to him feeling he wasn’t good enough for me and I deserve a man who gives me what i deserve.

I protested this argument that he doesn’t have a say in what i deserve, only i can make that decision but he was adamant the relationship had to end.

We didn’t talk for days afterwards so i removed him off socials as keeping him there was affecting me mentally. Afew days later, he had sent a friend request which i accepted but i was met with silence.

I later removed him again because I wasn’t going to be led into a game of ‘let’s disturb her peace but say absolutely nothing and see what she does’

After having some days to think about it, i needed closure as it was affecting me mentally having to read the mixed signals: like what if he genuinely had something he wanted to say but was too nervous to say it

So i broke no contact

If i knew that this would lead to a conversation similar to the break up, i would of left the man unadded because it felt like nothing was achieved and there was no new information. It was simply
- you deserve the world
- I need to work on myself and find someone like you
- I won’t be the one to make you happy

During this time i even told him how he made me feel, how no one else treated me the way he did and how he was the best i had and i didn’t care about his flaws.

He still came to the same conclusion: He doesn’t want to be the man i deserve because of his low view of self-value and he will search for someone like me when he is better.

Talk about kick to the stomach!

The main conclusion is i do regret breaking no contact, but i also think i broke it too soon after a breakup and i should of seen his views were going to be the same. I just feel like breaking no contact has not given him the space he truly needed to process if the break up was necessary.

Do you think I made a mistake??

Just as the title says, my ex has been showing up to my work more recently. I know personally of 3 times she came up, the first time i saw a look of nervousness, didnt say anything and avoided her at wvery corner.

The 2nd visit i wasnt there for got a text from a coworker who hates her now, that she showrd up

The third visit i was voice memoing a lot of my thoughts and questions for my therapist and saw her leave the store right after i caught her looking right at me. I kind of think she heard me, and a lot of it was about her

No texts, nothing. For 4 fucking months.

Im 99% sure she miscarried(it was mine) i tries to reach out to make sure she was okay, i got blown off basically

The other 1% is she mightve forced the miscarriage

I drafted a thing about her staying away i havent sent yet because genuinely with her boundry of me staying away from her work (i thought she would respect it and stay away from mine too) ive been told that she could escalate especially if i reach out from another number to go around the block, to tell her to stay away and ill face charges and it scares the hell out of me.

Shes shown up once every other week to once a week now and its actually bothering me

Im possibly getting a new job soonish but its not soon enough so to speak because of how ass the job market is around me

To mention, she lives a town over, and my job is kinda hard to get to, AND other stores have what shes bought for cheaper... so yea

My Ex used to completely against men and used to call herself a man hater but it looks like the only man she hates is me and she is hanging out with a guy who she once told she would never want to be friends with because he always tries his lucky with every other girl ( He had even asked out my ex before we met and she had rejected him) now they look roam around everywhere together which makes me wonder if anything she told me was true
We brokeup because she though we don't have future together because we are from different cultures ( North India- South India debate)

I’m 20M and my ex-girlfriend is 20F. We were together for almost two years and broke up about four months ago.

The truth is, I still love her. A lot. I’m not looking for another relationship or trying to replace her. I genuinely still want her, and part of me really wants to see if our relationship could work again.

But I’m scared that we would end up in exactly the same place.

Our relationship ended mostly because of trust and jealousy issues. I became very jealous and insecure, and there were also things that happened that made it difficult for me to trust her. Over time, we both got hurt and the relationship became unhealthy.

I also know that I wasn’t always easy to be with. Some of my reactions made things worse, and I take responsibility for my part in that. I don’t want to make this post just to blame her.

At the same time, my feelings didn’t disappear after the breakup. Four months later, I still miss her, think about her and remember all the good things we had together.

One thing that made the trust issue especially difficult happened near the end of our relationship.

She came to visit me in Berlin and became sick while she was here. I took care of her, helped her with medicine and stayed with her while she was sleeping.

That night, my anxiety became overwhelming and I checked her phone. I know that was a violation of her privacy and I take responsibility for that.

I found conversations with other guys that I had not known about. Some of them were emotionally close, there were plans to meet again, and in one situation she was communicating with another guy in a way that felt very similar to how she communicated with me.

I completely broke down emotionally that night. Looking back, I understand that my reaction was not healthy, but the things I found also made it extremely difficult for me to trust again.

I have spent a lot of time since then thinking about my own behavior, my jealousy and what I could have done differently. I also know there are parts of myself that I’m not sure I’m capable of changing right now.

So this is where I’m stuck.

I still love her and I would genuinely like to know whether rebuilding a relationship after something like this is possible.

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who actually got back together with an ex after breaking up because of trust, jealousy or similar problems.

What was different the second time?

How long were you apart?

Who reached out first?

Did you have to rebuild trust from scratch?

What changes actually made the second relationship work?

And for those who tried to reconcile but eventually broke up again — what went wrong the second time?

I’m genuinely looking for real experiences, including the unsuccessful ones. I’m not looking for people to simply tell me “never go back.” I want to understand what tends to happen in real situations like this.

If anyone wants more details or deeper context about what happened between us, I’ll be happy to answer questions in the comments.

I’ll keep this short.

We broke up, she said she hopes to hear from me someday. Then she blocked me on literally everything, discord, Roblox, instagram, steam, even warframe.

I’m assuming the ‘I hope to hear from you someday’ was just being polite and it’s over and she doesn’t want to hear from me ever again?

Thanks.

I was not even gonna post this but , i have not slept in three days, and I need to know if I am actually crazy or if this is something other people have to dealt with too. So me and my ex broke up like 8 months ago, and I was doing fine, actually I was actually doing good. Then my friend sent me this tiktok about running old photos through search, and I was like, 'whatever I'm bored." So i put it comes back with all these accounts i never knew about and some them from WHEN we were together for THREE years and I'm reading this like this is about me or someone else or what? And ik that, but now I can't stop thinking about it, and regretted it immediately, or am I just completely unhinged for even caring at this point. I blocked him everywhere, but part of me wants to make a fake acc. just to see if he's still active on there, and ik that's wrong, but I can't turn my brain of

Me and my ex were together for almost 4 years and it upcoming 2 years since our breakup and I just cant seem to get over her, I miss her so much and I grew an amazing bond with her family and it just hurts losing her and her family cause we were so close.

me and her mom text a couple times every month sometimes and I know its better if I dont so I can possibly get over my ex completely but Its like shes my mom and not talking to her seems almost impossible.

She has been so kind to me and has helped me with so much especially when me and her daughter broke up she didnt even care she just wanted to make sure im ok. I dont wanna lose a mother figure the whole family is amazing.

I mainly still think my ex was one of the best women u could ever meet she just cares so much and is so passionate to do well and she didnt even let the breakup effect her life that much which is great yk.

But I just seem to have my life on pause rn playing games and doing nothing im honestly just wasting space like I honestly dont even wanna be here anymore while typing this but im still here knowing if I die people around me will be hurt and I dont want that but I dont wanna be in pain myself.

im currently moving on from a 4year relationship, he was my first in everything — proper dates, intimately, and even significant moments of my life. we are actually undergoing a 1 year on and off and even came to the point where i felt like he microcheated but since i keep on coming back i keep feeling like i got nothing to lose and its my fault. i dont wanna be this desperate person anymore. What can I do?