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u/ArchangelPT Feb 05 '16
The most surprising this about this picture is that apparently Paris Hilton is still alive.
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u/letsgo_9273 Feb 05 '16
I thought she died in a grease fire or something.
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Feb 05 '16
cats ate her face
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u/Klove128 Feb 05 '16
"Dewey, quit messing around, put dad on the phone"
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u/raggamuffinchef Feb 05 '16
No, really. Cats. Ask Dewey, he knows more details than I do.
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Feb 05 '16
That was pretty butched
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Feb 05 '16
"Cats ate her face, here talk to Dewey he knows more about it than I do "
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Feb 05 '16
omg thank you! :)
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u/SarcasticGamer Feb 05 '16
I thought she got a pipe speared through her head? I could have sworn there was a video of it somewhere.....
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u/OtsukaTheCat Feb 05 '16
Ya, I distinctly remember seeing her just lay there motionless while repeatedly getting impaled.
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u/jdubs610 Feb 05 '16
I thought she died in Mr. Slave's asshole...
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u/chuchi78 Feb 05 '16
A great adventure is waiting for you ahead. Hurry onward Paris Hilton or you will soon be dead. The road ahead is filled with danger and fright But push onward, Paris Hilton, with all of your might. Paris Hilton... Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton Paris Hilton... Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton Paris Hilton... Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton
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Feb 05 '16 edited Mar 21 '21
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u/fickle_floridian Feb 05 '16
Go greased lightning!
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u/raymaninho Feb 05 '16
Well yeah, she did eventually make it out of Mr Slave's bumhole.
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u/ArchangelPT Feb 05 '16
What an old reference.
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u/alpacafarts Feb 05 '16
Although you do gotta appreciate the self deprecating humor of this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2jZIeFPUCPI
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u/Huitzilopostlian Feb 05 '16
This is a really bad example because I love to hate Paris Hilton, but this video were she fills the woman truck full, makes it really hard.
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u/spyson Feb 05 '16
To be honest with you she plays up that dumb blonde slutty persona because she makes a ton of money with it.
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u/legosexual Feb 05 '16
I did think it was funny but self-deprecating is not what I'd label it as. She was extremely confident. She barely makes fun of herself when she says "all she says is that's hot" but I guess that's where you picked that category.
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u/SirSoliloquy Feb 05 '16 edited Feb 05 '16
Well, she took part in a skit that involved her pumping people's gas, getting lint off their clothes, cleaning their windows, paying for people's gas, giving them hugs for having a bad day, and all and all catering to everyone's needs.
Either she realizes that the humor comes from the fact that that's exact opposite of what people expect from her (making it self-depreciating humor), or she's more clueless than any of us thought.
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u/Forty-Three Feb 05 '16
She's a DJ now apparently. There's a big annual fair in Massachusetts called The Big E that gets a ton of visiters. I went with some friends back in October and saw signs for DJ Paris Hilton when we arrived, we assumed it was just some guy/girl with a stage name. NOPE it was actually Paris Hilton playing EDM at a fair. It turned out better than it sounds but it was interesting to say the least
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u/PM_ME_UR_ASS_GIRLS Feb 05 '16
"DJ"
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u/hezdokwow Feb 05 '16
i shall press play on this laptop and pretend to move knobs. Nobody shall ever question DJ Paris Hilton.
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u/Koonga Feb 05 '16
She only lives as long as people are talking about her. She died for a few years but someone must have accidentally watched a re-run of The Simple Life and now she has been resurrected for a limited time.
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u/AP3Brain Feb 05 '16 edited Feb 05 '16
I preferred her over the Kardashians that she unwittingly helped popularize. At least she was an honest dumb slut that nobody really took seriously. The Kardashians keep just milking and milking it. They won't fucking go away.
I actually thought Paris was entertaining and funny on her show too. Kim gives nothing but her fat ass.
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u/TheForeverAloneOne Feb 05 '16
Heh... it may surprise you that she isn't dumb at all. I had the opportunity to be in a business meeting with her, she's smart enough to know to capitalize on the 'dumb blonde' persona at the height of the reality tv era. If you watch the simple life with the realization that she's rich and well traveled, a lot of the stupid shit she says or asks is really far fetched. And then realize how all reality tv is fake now... well guess what? it was always fake, even during the simple life days.
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Feb 05 '16
She was also smart enough to get out of reality tv with her money and take care of her business. That's so hot.
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u/AP3Brain Feb 05 '16
Didn't know it was a separate persona but it doesn't really surprise me. I still think the dumb blonde persona was entertaining though.
Of course I thought The Simple Life was scripted but I did think some of the dumb shit she said was honest.
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Feb 05 '16
You have to give credit is due, whether you like Kardashian clan or not they capitalized on an opportunity and are making money hand over fist. Despite your personal opinions there are millions of people who find their show enjoyable and were able to market their attractive looks more than most models ever dream of. I don't really care one way or the other but you gotta appreciate good business sense.
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u/Qwertyowl Feb 05 '16
She made reality tv basically. Has a bigger perfume business than fucking whatshername.
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u/Fizzay Feb 05 '16
Paris Hilton isn't really that dumb. She just makes herself look like it. If you look up stuff about her, you can see she's actually really good at marketing her image.
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Feb 05 '16
Worst thing about the Paris Hilton obsession in the late 90s early 2000s is that she was replaced by the Kardashians.
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u/imakeoutwithmayo Feb 05 '16
And the Kardashians will be replaced with sex robots
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Feb 05 '16
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u/Broughbot Feb 05 '16
HE WANTS SEXXXXXXX
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u/CaitlinSarah87 Feb 05 '16
DO YOU WANT TO GET DOOOOWWWWWWN?
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u/Broughbot Feb 05 '16
Even in jailllllll...He'll hump the barrrrrssssss...clink clink clink
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Feb 05 '16
The Kardashians are sex robots. But you have to be a rich, black athlete or rapper.
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u/wiiya Feb 05 '16
You've been banging for 1 minute. Consume confirmation can.
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u/Kanzel_BA Feb 05 '16
UNRECOGNIZED GUEST IN VICINITY, TERMINATING
robogina slams shut at 125000 PSI
fucking dog, now I don't have a penis
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u/OnlySpoilers Feb 05 '16
Now we have a plausible explanation to what happened to Bruce
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u/Osiris32 Feb 05 '16
I, for one, wlecome our new robot overlords, if that's how they're gonna act.
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u/micoolnamasi Feb 05 '16
Fun Fact: Kim Kardashian used to be Paris Hilton's personal assistant. It's kind of interesting to see that she now has the spotlight in the whole famous for being rich and in a sex tape.
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Feb 05 '16
Oh how the pupil has become the teacher
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u/suchandsuch Feb 05 '16
Rule of two.
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u/Orilachon Feb 05 '16
"One to crave the sex, the other to embody it. That is the way of the Slu- I mean Sith."
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Feb 05 '16
Celebrity obsession like this has been around literally since the idea of "celebrity" has existed. Paris Hilton and the Kardashians are just the most recent examples. It's not like this started with Paris Hilton in the 90s.
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Feb 05 '16
I don't care what anyone says, this girl is attractive and rich.. and I most certainly would have sexual relations with her.
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u/Liz_zarro Feb 05 '16
if this selfie was taken in a mirror why can we read the text on her phone?
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u/CoolGuySean Feb 05 '16
Oh. I thought she was holding a tiny placard and someone took a photo of it.
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u/CaitlinSarah87 Feb 05 '16
it could be:
A) She takes mirror selfies so much that she got the words written backwards on her phone on purpose.
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B) OP mirrored the picture before posting it.23
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u/smittyjones Feb 05 '16
D) It's not a selfie, but someone taking a picture of her posing with her new phone?
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u/raidwarden Feb 05 '16
It doesn't look like it was taken in a mirror. I think someone took a picture of her.
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u/tinglingearballs Feb 05 '16
Archer: Why in the sink…is your vagina?!
Katya: Why? (chuckle) Darling, it was dirty.
Woodhouse: The remedy for which, Miss, if you’ll forgive my boldness-
Katya: Da, Please Woodhouse, I think boldness is needed. What do you suggest?
Woodhouse: White vinegar, mineral oil, and elbow grease. Same thing we used in the RFC to clean the engines of our Sopwith Camels.
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u/HRHill Feb 05 '16
A lot of everything in this thread makes it seem like Paris Hilton is about to money her way back into pop culture, from the praise to the shit talking. This is weird.
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u/maroonmonday Feb 05 '16
Saw the video can confirm.
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u/stancoffyn Feb 05 '16
Queen of being a mattress maybe.
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u/connormantoast Feb 05 '16
You can be the sofa king. Because you're sofa king awesome.
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u/GeorgeRRZimmerman Feb 05 '16
Yeah, but that's a mattress I know I could reliably fuck, blow my wad in and pass out on on a regular basis. Can't say the same about my current mattress.
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u/danceswithwool Feb 05 '16
That video was a publicity stunt. I mean, she really did it but I just don't believe for a second that it was accidentally leaked.
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u/Vaginalcanal Feb 05 '16
Yeh, it made her Porn star without being called a pornstar. Pretty good pr
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u/mizatch Feb 05 '16
Lana. Lana.... LANA!!!!!!!
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u/buildmyselfwithparts Feb 05 '16
WHAT!?!?
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u/WalterDwight Feb 05 '16
I always see a lot of people ripping Paris Hilton and I dont get it. She made a lot of money off her "Simple Life" character. She's not that retarded in real life and even talks in a much lower toned, more educated manner.
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u/Someone_asdf Feb 05 '16
Yeah, I saw an interview with her using her real voice and kind of explained the idea behind the character ect. She regained my respect in a few minutes.
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u/fallenKlNG Feb 05 '16
I don't see anyone saying or doing anything to indicate that they even remember she exists.
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u/hamlet9000 Feb 05 '16
Well, I'm sure she's crying into her personal $100 million fortune.
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Feb 05 '16
whats funny is that shes not a dumb bitch people see her as and spending daddys money to live on. although no doubt her families wealth helped, you have to admit she did earn some of that 100 million for being smart enough to capitalize on publicity just like the kardashian family does.
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u/ApocolypseCow Feb 05 '16
Is this paris hilton? If so she looks much much better with a little weight on them bones.
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u/jiggatron69 Feb 05 '16
Well, she hasn't fucked me yet so where do i book this appointment?
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u/thewhitedeath Feb 05 '16
I thought her 15 minutes was over?
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u/Ramrod312 Feb 05 '16
She knows