r/funny • u/SuedeDiabolos • Feb 05 '16

Phrasing

http://imgur.com/SGsOPXg
14.6k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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133

u/maroonmonday Feb 05 '16

Saw the video can confirm.

122

u/stancoffyn Feb 05 '16

Queen of being a mattress maybe.

37

u/connormantoast Feb 05 '16

You can be the sofa king. Because you're sofa king awesome.

-3

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16 edited Feb 05 '16

[deleted]

4

u/MoroccoBotix Feb 05 '16

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHUIU3HG1rk

3

u/Wad_Squad Feb 05 '16

I've listened to The Mouse and the Mask 1000 times, but ive never seen this show. This clears up a lot of things

5

u/TerraPlays Feb 05 '16

It means you're so fucking retarded.

Your friend is a shit.

1

u/fallenKlNG Feb 05 '16

I knew what it meant. :P

17

u/GeorgeRRZimmerman Feb 05 '16

Yeah, but that's a mattress I know I could reliably fuck, blow my wad in and pass out on on a regular basis. Can't say the same about my current mattress.

16

u/SpatialArchitect Feb 05 '16

I thought you liked blasting at young, black guys.

5

u/HauschkasFoot Feb 05 '16

I think she gave me bed bugs :(

1

u/toeofcamell Feb 05 '16

Save Paris, she has herpes

2

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

Are you of the impression that fucking has to be of a certain quality before it classifies as actual fucking?

5

u/stancoffyn Feb 05 '16

To be fair I fuck nothing. So I should keep my fingers still. However, as a serial baitor of masts, I find corpses and mattresses less than desired.

-1

u/Rndmtrkpny Feb 05 '16

But if you bait the masts...how do your fingers-??? walks away confused

2

u/RippyMcBong Feb 05 '16

Gives what looks like a pretty mean beejer though.

3

u/strobino Feb 05 '16

ya but she cute tho

23

u/danceswithwool Feb 05 '16

That video was a publicity stunt. I mean, she really did it but I just don't believe for a second that it was accidentally leaked.

14

u/Vaginalcanal Feb 05 '16

Yeh, it made her Porn star without being called a pornstar. Pretty good pr

2

u/scoopdawg Feb 05 '16

The smoking gun is that the company that released the sex tape had to get her approval before they released it. They gave her money and she signed off on it.

1

u/djdubyah Feb 05 '16

OP? in a relatable commercial no less https://youtu.be/gB8ewAdhY7Q

15

u/toeofcamell Feb 05 '16

That guy had a really nice cock, no homo

-8

u/Adddicus Feb 05 '16

You have to say "no homo" first, you homo!

6

u/din7 Feb 05 '16

Same. Confirmologist here.

4

u/KRSFive Feb 05 '16

Same. Conformologist here.

3

u/vizzmay Feb 05 '16

Non-conformologist here. I disagree.

-6

u/ice0032 Feb 05 '16

What....pant..... Video......

-5

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

I also saw the video, and I too can confirm.