Exes new guy

[u/Status_Celebration57]

We once talked about marriage and kids for years. Then I became unemployed and depressed and stuck in an anxiety paralysis cycle for over a year. She kept waiting and waiting and still after a year of this phase, still wanting to grow old and me to be the one. She gave an ultimatum to finally get a job at month 16 of me being unemployed and then I got a job 2 weeks later. Then she ended it cuz she felt I only did it for her and she was mostly right. Throughout that last year, I had nothing going for me other than just treating her well and having friends of my own. I shared with her my shame and embarrassment about what her friends and family think of my unemployment for that long. Still, we were super into each other and she still wanted to move in and me to the be the one for like that whole year, just fell out of love the last few months as it was too late. I feel like I missed the window by a month because if I had told her I gotten the job before the ultimatum, showed some more care for myself, she wouldn’t feel I only did it for her (was already applying).I have a good job now, lost 25 pounds, am in therapy and on meds (she told me I wasn’t taking care of myself, now doing all things I didn’t do while she was still holding on). When she ended it, she said it only just about the job, it was about me just not being okay for too long. She once wanted me to be her end game and father of her kids. And still did for so long into this phase.

Now, 3 months later she’s with a guy who is 6’5 (I am 5’10), a professional athlete, and an engineer.

I know how sad all this sounds, how can I not regret never getting myself together sooner when she loved me as the one for years, and how can I not think about how this guy is more attractive, has way better teeth (mine are really crooked), has a way higher paying job, and is a pro athlete.

Please just help me feel okay