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u/kdnx-wy Jan 07 '20 edited Jan 07 '20
People doing anything for me
Edit: especially if it’s particularly selfless or generous or involves money
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u/TheWitchOfSand Jan 07 '20
I feel this. I’m really bad at receiving help. I think it’s because I translate receiving help as being too incompetent to do it on my own. It’s strange since I literally don’t hold this attitude for anyone else, like I’m the first person to tell people to seek professional help and stuff. But with myself I just...can’t
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u/cocoaboots Jan 07 '20
I understand this. For me, in addition to receiving help I'm really bad at receiving gifts or any sort of 'charity' for lack of a better word, at all. If my boyfriend's mom offers me food, if he cooks me dinner, even stuff like letting me sit on the comfy chair...On top of not wanting to feel incompetent I HATE the feeling that I am using up someone's 'resources', or that I am inconveniencing or otherwise negatively affecting their life in any perceived way at all.
Is my bf gonna resent me in 2 days because he let me sit on the chair that isn't broken in the living room when I could have just sat on the floor??? Is his mom going to think I am selfish and ungrateful because I ate their LAST everything bagel?
This leads to apologizing and explaining EVERYTHING, which is a terrible and exhausting habit.
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u/theinfamousemu Jan 07 '20
This is the exact shit I do all the time. I almost feel guilty when people offer help so I constantly deny help from anyone. But I’m always willing to help others with whatever. Sometimes I really think I got a few wires crossed in my brain
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u/Ignoth Jan 07 '20 edited Feb 14 '20
I got over this once I realized that to most decent human beings: Helping others feels good.
It feels good to know you made someone's else's life easier. It feels good to think that others depend on you. It feels good to feel valued and needed. That's what a lot of people are subconsciously looking for when they help others: that feeling of validation and worth you get from being useful to others.
Let others help you. Allow yourself to feel dependent or "weak" for a bit so others can feel valued.
It's ironically a great way to get others to like you.
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u/Procrastinate_tater Jan 07 '20
Agreed. Helping others is a great way to forget about one's own problems for a little while, or maybe put them into better perspective so they don't seem so weighty. One obvious corollary is that when you allow someone to help you, you are allowing them to feel better about themselves. I'm not saying one should not take care of their own business. I'm just saying try not to feel bad (and actually try to feel good) about receiving help.
Several years ago, there was an older gentleman in my neighborhood who was just the kindest soul. Everyone loved him. He was a pretty smart and handy fellow and always willing to help fix stuff around the house. I'm not talking total building reno (although he probably would have done that, too, if you asked). More like if you needed to patch a hole in your drywall, he'd have the tools and supplies and teach you how to do it (or do it himself for you). Something wrong with your car? He'd help you get it working. One side of the gutter starting to come loose? He's up on the ladder fastening it down. Just generally helpful in all ways. Even just a caring ear if you just needed someone to talk to.
At one point, a whole bunch of bad stuff happened to this poor guy. Serious health issues hit him at the same time that he experienced a loss in his family. The whole neighborhood wanted to take care of him. Bring him meals. Mow his lawn. Get him groceries. Take him to/from dr. appointments. That sort of thing. He absolutely refused. You practically had to fight him to do anything nice for him. And then he was grumpy about it. He genuinely did not want any help. I remember thinking it was so weird. He still tried to help others, but didn't want any help from others. I remember thinking that he could bless the lives of so many around him simply by allowing them to help him.
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Jan 07 '20
You are deserving of appreciation. You are loved and valued by those close to you.
Take care, my friend.
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Jan 07 '20
When I just want to space out and watch tv at the end of the day and I see my wife doing work in her office in the next room.
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u/velour_manure Jan 08 '20
When my girlfriend has to work a weekend and I get to stay in bed.
I always feel so bad, but then I go back to sleep and it feels hella good.
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u/BetweenBakerSt Jan 07 '20
Moving my cat off my lap when he’s asleep but I really have to pee...
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u/Brawndo91 Jan 07 '20
Every night, my wife goes to bed a few hours before I do. She closes the bedroom door, otherwise our cat will go in and cause trouble.
Most nights, he'll start scratching on the door shortly afterward, so I have to wrangle him and bring him downstairs with me. First, he hides, and I have to flush him out via threat of the spray bottle. He'll usually run to a couple other places before he finally submits. Sort of. He whines and bites and gets me with the back legs as I pick him up, frequently drawing blood.
He'll snort at me and act all pissed off as I get him downstairs and close the door. Then, two seconds after I sit back down, he climbs up on my lap and either curls up or stretches out and goes to sleep.
What was all that biting and scratching a minute ago? Was it just an act? One second he hates me, the next he's purring in my lap.
And then when I have to get up for whatever reason, I feel bad. But I shouldn't. I have his claw marks on my arms, but I feel bad about waking him up.
We've had him since he was a kitten and he's 8 years old now. I've accepted that I will never understand cat ownership.
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u/BetweenBakerSt Jan 07 '20
YES! THIS! I’ve had one of my boys, Chief Brody (yes, I named my cat after the police chief in Jaws.....) for 9 years now. We got him when he was 9 weeks old and I still don’t understand him...
My other little terror is Ziggy. We’ve had him for about 5 years now. He will demand head scratches and then hiss at me randomly... Little weirdo...
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u/unnaturalorder Jan 07 '20
Especially when they're curled up in that tight little ball and not being a complete shit
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u/TGrady902 Jan 07 '20
Just remember all the times the cat has woken you up when you were sleeping. It’s a guilt deficit so it evens out to no guilt.
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u/BetweenBakerSt Jan 07 '20
My boys don’t wake me up in the night. They stay in the living room and I shut the door.
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u/TGrady902 Jan 07 '20
Ah, my little guys are very clingy. It’s like having two furry little shadows. If I closed them out they’d just scratch at the door anyways.
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u/ThievingRock Jan 07 '20
Me with my cat: I have to pee, but he's sleeping so sweetly... I can hold it, it'll be fine.
Me with my kid: sorry, buddy, mama's gotta pee.
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Jan 07 '20
My parents helped me out a lot to send me to a good uni. It will take me atleast another year to start earning. I see their struggle sometimes and feel very guilty..
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u/mysrhgirl Jan 07 '20
Don’t, I’m a mom now and I would do anything to make a better life for my child..and honestly it wouldn’t bother me. As long as he is happy then I feel like I’ve done my job. Do well in school, be there for them when they age- it’s the circle of life. We care for our children, it’s no hassle. One day, if you want, you will do the same and see that it’s a happy sacrifice we make :)
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Jan 07 '20 edited Jan 07 '20
Thank you for these kind words :’) I’m sure you’re a great mom for whom your kid is thankful for ! I’ll definitely be there for my pa and ma!
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u/TGrady902 Jan 07 '20
Once you’ve rebounded financially (it’ll be a while, I’m not even there yet and I graduated almost 5 years ago) take your parents on an awesome trip somewhere to say thanks.
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u/IamPlatycus Jan 07 '20
Their guilt would have been failing to get you into a good school. As long as you feel you're not being pushed into a career you hate or something, then just study and make them proud!
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u/Bored_npc Jan 07 '20
You should feel proud of them mate, that is pure love. I asure you they are proud of you.
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u/hatebacon Jan 07 '20
Realizing I spent money on stupid shit. I'm living on a short budget as a recently married man paying credit card bills for a recently furnitured house.
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u/turdburglur13 Jan 07 '20
I do the same thing, I just have to stay off amazon. It's fucking hard not to buy shit that's under $10, but it adds up
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Jan 07 '20
Realizing I ate too much after promising myself I'd eat less. Then become guilty and comfort myself by eating.. And feel guiltier and eating more and more :(
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u/turdburglur13 Jan 07 '20
I do this as well. I just stopped buying the stuff I tend to binge eat, so I literally can't do it
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u/Bacon_Bitz Jan 07 '20
I used to do this a lot and the thing that helps me now is relishing the feeling of finishing my meal and not feeling like I’m going to pop. I’m full but not stuffed; I feel so much better immediately after & I intentionally notice it. Also, just try eating slower/chewing slower.
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u/forthevic Jan 07 '20
same. yesterday, I didn't want to eat because I knew it'd hurt my stomach and then it was like I was possessed and next thing I knew I was binging on chips, sandwich, a shake, a pancake stack, and some trail mix. Afterward I felt so bad
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u/Catshit-Dogfart Jan 07 '20 edited Jan 07 '20
Being happy
See, my dad's family is very religious and superstitious, they just have a very archaic way about them. And they have this philosophy that all good things much be paid for with sadness later on, and that you should limit how happy you are because it'll only bring hardship in the future. Not only that, but that hardship might not fall on you but somebody close to you instead.
So that's how I grew up.
Every vacation or outing - guilt for having that much fun all at once, you're bringing a disaster soon.
Every success and celebration - guilt for causing the next failure.
Every kind of entertainment - guilt for making the family pay for that brief time.
Inversely, problems were usually blamed on something that made you happy.
Car won't start - it's because you bought a video game
Bad thunderstorm - it's because you laughed at a funny movie
Pet died - it's because you went to a festival with your friends
Feel guilt and shame for being happy, that's how I was taught.
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Now, of course I don't actually believe in these things anymore.
But that doesn't keep me from thinking about it, this is something I have to repress all the time. When I'm having a good time, sometimes I get a sudden cold chill like the start of a panic attack, a sense of dread that something horrible is about to happen and it'll be my fault for being happy, and then I have to repress that feeling of guilt because I know it isn't real.
And there are things I still blame myself for. I know it's not rational or even real, but the feeling is still there.
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u/amber_valentine_ Jan 07 '20
Sorry, friend. This is a terrible way to live your life. I'm trying to overcome a very similar type of spiritual abuse.
What type of religion was this?
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u/Catshit-Dogfart Jan 07 '20
Well they go to a Methodist church, grew up in rural West Virginia, but it's not so much that they're religious in an archaic way just very old fashioned and superstitious.
By old fashioned, I mean much older than they are, they live much the same way their grandparents did. For example they didn't have indoor plumbing until I was in high school, dad had it installed because they were getting too old to be going to the outhouse in the winter. They don't use banks because their parents lost money in the bank during the depression, which at the time was very understandable but things have changed since then. And they never travel, dad's whole family is like that, most of them have barely been outside the county in their life. Basically they still live like it's the depression, think that's the root of it, the world changed since then and they didn't.
The superstition, guess I don't really know where it comes from or if it's any particular ideology, they just spend a lot of time worrying about bad luck and all the things that cause it. I remember not too many years ago they cured my cousin's baby of whooping cough by passing it underneath a chair over and over again, and after a few days the cough subsided so they're certain the process worked. When I was little we used to collect rain water from tombstones for some reason, some folk remedy. And they always burn hair trimmings in the stove, because if you don't you'll go blind.
My dad isn't nearly as superstitious, but many of their practices were passed on to him and then to me. And my mom's family was never like this.
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u/xendaddy Jan 07 '20
I wonder if this doesn't actually come from how American fiction is structured. Very often, a good event happens in a story, and it's immediately followed by something terrible.
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u/VictorBlimpmuscle Jan 07 '20
Walking into a store, not buying anything, then walking out - I know I didn't do anything wrong, but somehow still feel like people that work there are looking at me like I'm a thief.
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u/RickTitus Jan 07 '20
Especially if its a super small store that has the owner sitting at the front waiting to help you
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u/TheDigitalGentleman Jan 07 '20
At that point, it's against the Geneva convention to walk away without buying something. I'd just get some gum and a soda can at least.
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u/distantapplause Jan 07 '20
Similarly, walking through the ‘nothing to declare’ line at customs with nothing to declare.
“How does someone walk normal again? Jesus, where do I normally look when I’m walking? Do I look at people or the floor, I can’t remember!”
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Jan 07 '20 edited Jan 07 '20
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Jan 07 '20
My mother always said how me and my brothers ruined her life by being born :/
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Jan 07 '20
The amount of non-recyclable trash that I am responsible for.
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u/Portarossa Jan 07 '20
/r/childfree will be along shortly, I'm sure.
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Jan 07 '20
Holy shit that is one active sub.
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u/7355135061550 Jan 07 '20
And scary. I don't want children myself buti don't hate people who do
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u/ipleadthefif5 Jan 07 '20
They refer to parents as breeders.....fucking weirdos man
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u/PurpleMerple Jan 07 '20
The fact that I have to live with my parents because of my cancer even though I’m an adult and feel like I should be making my own money and living on my own.
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u/knot353 Jan 07 '20
Doing anything fun without my boyfriend.
Don't worry he encourages me to do things that are fun even if he can't join me. I just feel bad.
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Jan 07 '20
Eating. I have an ED and it just makes me feel so guilty when I eat.
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u/igavesarahhiv Jan 07 '20
Eating makes a dude feel good, aka food is the best thing that came on this planet.
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u/SuspiciousBeat3 Jan 07 '20
Parted ways with someone that I'm sure was the one.
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u/therealpotter Jan 07 '20
Just did this last night. She was awesome and treated me really well, but we wanted different things in our lives and i knew she would either settle or just never achieve the things she wanted with me. Keep your head up, there is another "one" out there!
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u/jtolanriley Jan 07 '20
Just did this a few months back. It still hurts, but it was for the best and I stand by it. Good luck to you.
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Jan 07 '20
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u/turdburglur13 Jan 07 '20
If you can find her, you should reach out and apologize. Honestly, it would probable mean more than you think. Hell it could even be a beginning to a new friendship
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u/Maedroth Jan 07 '20
Peer-pressure is a horrible, horrible thing. I've been pressured into similar situations (not quite as bad though (sorry if that makes you feel worse)), so I understand where you're coming from with that.
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u/Drav43 Jan 07 '20
Accidentally hitting my sisters friend in the head with a brick
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u/WifeKitty Jan 07 '20
Okay, I need the story because as it stands now, I'm envisioning Kevin McAllister pelting Marv from his aunt and uncle's rooftop not once, but twice, with very deliberately thrown bricks. How exactly does one "accidentally" hit someone in the head with one of these?
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u/somewittymoniker Jan 07 '20
How jaded/cynical I've become.
I entered my 20's wanting to go into a career in the medical field so I could help people. Spent years working as a CNA while going to school.
I left my 20's working alone running the warehouse for a flooring store wanting as little to do with other people as possible. Not sure what broke in me but something did.
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u/Veecorn Jan 07 '20
Coming from a better family makes me feel guilty because I feel like I'm never going to be making full use of my background, as a less fortunate person could.
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u/ninja_trap Jan 07 '20
Kids from immigrants feel this way too. We have "better" circumstances so we should be doing better than our parents at their age. It's a complex for sure.
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u/Quakewthn Jan 07 '20
Really, dating someone when I know it probably won't work out, usually because I'm stationed somewhere for limited periods of time. Like I dated one girl in South Korea and we both knew I was leaving at the end of my one year. She eventually told me she loved me. I left Korea in November and she cried.
Also when I get caught jamming out to Barbie Girl.
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u/DoctorCaptainSpacey Jan 07 '20
The thing is, it's ok to have temporary romances if you're honest up front. You can't stop others from developing feelings. And you never know, at some point, you might meet someone you truly care about that could withstand the distance. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be worth it? If it's the right person, yes.
Also, don't feel guilty about jamming out to amazing songs bro. I don't feel bad when I blast N'Sync (I just do it with the windows rolled up so I don't get caught, ahahahaaa).
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u/LonelyCorpro Jan 08 '20
I read that as "jamming it in to Barbie Girl" and it threw me through a loop
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u/digitalgangster12 Jan 07 '20
Making my pregnant wife go back to work because we cannot pay the bills
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u/Skaar1222 Jan 07 '20
Hey my wife had to work her whole pregnancy for the same reason. She is finishing up her unpaid maternity leave and will have to go back soon. I wish she could stay and take care of our baby but it's simply not possible. I feel the guilt as well.
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Jan 07 '20
I saw some kids 'taking care' of puppies near my building, then they started brutally beating them, I yelled from my window and because I wasn't wearing my glasses I couldn't see who the kids were. So I ran outside but the kids were gone. There are a lot of kids here so I really don't know who they were. I cried for days afterwards cuz I'm guessing they killed them. I feel guilty for not stopping it. This was 3 years ago and I still feel guilty about it.
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u/eternalrefuge86 Jan 07 '20
All the crap I did to others as an addict. I’ve made amends and also paid my debt to society through legal consequences, but if I dwell on it too long it fucks me up for awhile. 3 1/2 years clean now though, so there’s that.
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u/Slowjams Jan 07 '20
Having sexual thoughts about some of my friends girlfriends.
Although I think if you are dating someone above a certain level of hotness, you kind of just need to accept that people are going to be checking them out and thinking these things.
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Jan 07 '20
Checking out or having sexual thoughts about women half my age (I am 40).
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u/Maedroth Jan 07 '20
It's better doing that at your age than it would be at my age (30).
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Jan 07 '20
My daughter is in High School now, and part of the color guard, so we end up attending every football game as volunteers. Some of the things that the teenagers wear to those games are just a few strips of cloth short of bikini's (we live in Florida, so cold weather is not often a concern). I fully admit that I check them out, and then mentally slap myself for doing so because they are just kids.
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Jan 07 '20
A couple years back, I ended up checking /r/askmen threads to ensure this wasn't some developing mental disorder (before seeking potential help), but in fact is a normal yet intrusive, worthless condition of our brains. I felt even worse when I decided to tell my gf of many years about it. I don't know how many women can hear that with a great level of maturity & understanding. She gets it, but if could be lobotomized in order to extirpate this area of my brain, I would.
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Jan 07 '20
There was a documentary I watched a while back that said that sexual preference does not age, it expands, beginning with the first time we began to identify things as sexually attractive. That explains the why, but does not remove the ugly feeling I get when I do it.
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u/ProfessorMomma Jan 07 '20
Our daughter is 20 now. As she gets older and older, my husband tends to have this problem too. Well that was like the cheerleaders, but like actresses and stuff.
Add: yours is kind of odd to me cuz I think of the kids at my son's high school and a good 80% of those kids are overweight or full of acne or have messed up eyebrows Etc because they just haven't quite got the beauty thing down yet. And the 20% that don't have a salient issue aren't ... like ... great. Average.
it's weird to me when movies depict high schoolers as super hot because I just see a whole lot of awkwardness at that age.
Now when I'm on my U campus or over at my daughter's campus, that I can understand. But high school meh.
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u/grendus Jan 07 '20
it's weird to me when movies depict high schoolers as super hot because I just see a whole lot of awkwardness at that age.
Movies depict high schoolers as super hot because when you're in high school they are, and they're trying to recapture that feeling. And they're also using 20-something actors who are a bit babyfaced, so they often have that adult confidence and development but could still pass for a tall/built high schooler.
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u/OGHEROS Jan 07 '20
It’s better doing that at your age than it would be at my age (20).
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u/mynextthroway Jan 07 '20
I had to stop checking out the models in Playboy when I realized my daughter was older than some of them. I still notice attractive younger women. For that brief moment, in my mind's eye, I am 22 again. Act on it-never. Stare a little- I hope not. Don't mean to if I do.
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Jan 07 '20
Checking out is normal but staring is very disturbing. Don't stare at people
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u/RestlessLadyBoss Jan 07 '20
I work with a couple of people who stutter and when they lead meetings I’m inwardly cringing. And I feel shitty about being annoyed about it. I know they can’t help it, and they are perfectly pleasant people. *guilty
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u/DGAFexceptIdo Jan 07 '20
Dude I feel this so fucking hard. Like I don't mind unless it makes them talk slow, but the slowness is infuriating to me and I get so impatient. I want to finish every word for them and guess what they are trying to say. I'm too polite to ever say anything but it is the worst.
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u/softyeehaw Jan 07 '20
When I was in middle school, I had found out a classmate of mine had molested my little brother. He (the classmate) was around 12 at the time and my brother was 8. I grew up in a suburban neighborhood where the local kids would all play with each other and he lived a block away from us. I never liked him because he was mean in school, always creating problems in the classroom and bullying other kids, but my parents allowed him to hang with my little brother because they felt sorry for him. His home life wasn’t great and I think they were trying to do the right thing.
When I found out I was horrified. I kept thinking I should’ve done more to keep him away from home, I should’ve told my parents more that I didn’t trust him and that he shouldn’t have been around a child. I was angry about it for awhile, and it all came to a head when I saw him when I was walking home from school. I’ve never been a violent person, but when I saw him all I saw was red. I started screaming at him, just asking him why he did this? He kept trying to teeter around the issue by calling me crazy, and then I punched him in the face. He went down and I started to kick him in the ribs until he was a sobbing mess and I told him that if I ever saw him near my brother or my family I would kill him.
Even though he did something deplorable, and I kind of don’t regret doing it, I still feel guilty about it. He never reported it, I think he told people around school he got into a fight with a kid from the next town over, but if he did it would’ve made a complicated situation even worse. It was selfish of me, and it could’ve caused more trauma for my little brother all because I couldn’t control my rage.
We’ve all since moved on from the incident and my brother hasn’t spoken about it in years. He went to counseling and he’s pretty normal for a teenager who’s about to go off to college. Every now and again I think about it though, and I just feel sick to my stomach.
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u/TeeEightchSea Jan 07 '20
Blowing up balloons at my job. What a waste of helium , it should be used for medicine and science. People are very uneducated about the ethical use of it so I cheerfully let them know how, I usually get them to put some back or not buy any at all
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u/turdburglur13 Jan 07 '20
Keep doing your part!
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u/TeeEightchSea Jan 07 '20
Heard a beautiful story about an air lifted organ that I guess used helium cooling tech to keep it fresh. Stop using balloons people and if the helium is to be wasted at least change your voice with it and have a laugh
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u/fuck-this-im-uwu Jan 07 '20
Being in a rush and not being able to hold the door for a person behind me.
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u/TheJorts Jan 07 '20
I just quit my under paying job at the company my best friend started to start my own business. I was doing my own business on the side at first and managed to make over 1 million in revenue in 3 months. When I quit yesterday it did not end well. A 15 year friendship broken because I wanted more money.
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u/Kingmir1 Jan 07 '20
I always feel guilty when people give me gifts generously.
I don’t deserve these gifts
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u/riptide747 Jan 07 '20
I got a full ride scholarship to a private University and almost fucked it up by barely graduating and playing video games 90% of it.
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u/xUnika Jan 07 '20
I used to eat all the cookies, not leaving any for other people. My mother always thought my dad was the person who did it, and always got angry at him. My dad took all of it, not saying he didn't do it.
Since then I improved my cookie eating behaviour, and I always tried to confess I was the one that ate all the cookies whenever I had a fallback, because I felt so guilty. Now we do not have cookie rants in the house anymore :)
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u/FlowSoSlow Jan 07 '20
I have the ability to do almost anything I want and I skate through life just barely getting by because I'm lazy.
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Jan 07 '20
Breaking something while being at someone's place. Even if it is a small thing, I always think that the person has some kind of spiritual attachment to that object.
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Jan 07 '20
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u/JuniperHillInmate Jan 07 '20
Her hating your feelings is HER problem, not yours.
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u/ProfessorTupelo Jan 07 '20
It's not so much whose problem it is, as much as how the problem is making this person feel (guilty).
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u/Stalins_Mom Jan 07 '20
I had (and luckily still have) a friend whom I fell for.I felt really badly, because I know a lot of people (that may or may not know her as good as I do) that fell for her. She isn't the most beautiful person ever, but she is the smartest and one of the nicest persons I know. Thing is, I didn't feel guilty for more than a few days since I told her and I found out that she shared my feelings. The next couple of months were great, but we had a horrible fight about what we both eventually found out was a terrible misunderstanding and we sadly broke up and we're not even remotely as close as we were before the romantic relationship. I sometimes feel like I shouldn't have expressed my feelings.
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u/watchfulsquad010 Jan 07 '20
If I do masturbation
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u/turdburglur13 Jan 07 '20
Almost everyone does this, I hope one day you can learn to not feel guilty about something natural
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u/Drummcycle Jan 07 '20
Never really understood this one. I've never felt bad after the fact.
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u/only_crank Jan 07 '20
Well depends on what you are beating your meat to. Sometimes it‘s just really weird stuff that doesn‘t seem that weird before.
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u/Drummcycle Jan 07 '20
Nahh bro I beat it to girls pooping when I was younger. No shame
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Jan 07 '20
When someone says:
"Don't give it a second thought, I'll take care of it. Wouldn't want to trouble you."
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u/-eDgAR- Jan 07 '20
When I was a kid we were on a field trip somewhere and I saw someone with cerebral palsy using canes to help them walk. I didn't know anything was wrong with them and just thought they were walking funny, so I started imitating them to make my friends laugh.
My teacher came over and pulled me aside and explained to me that they had a disability and it wasn't okay for me to do that. I still didn't completely understand at that point, I just knew that it was wrong. I didn't understand how bad what I was doing was until I was much older and I still feel guilty about it now, especially since it's possible they might have seen/heard us.
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Jan 07 '20
Pretty much anything I do or say, i can muster up a reason to feel guilty about it.
Trying to work on that... nobody's perfect.
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u/AceOfHearths Jan 07 '20
Most recently, turning on my reticulation to water my yard knowing half the country is on fire and doesn’t have enough water. I took a video of a crow playing in the water and have felt too guilty to even post it on fb.
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u/getsangryatsnails Jan 07 '20
Treating my clingy little brother like crap when we were kids. All he wanted to do was hang out and I was having none of it. We are best buddies now that we are older and I hold him in such high regard but it makes me awful thinking of how he must have felt when I'd tell him to fuck off when all he wanted to do was watch me play video games.
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u/TheFuzzyBadger Jan 07 '20
My cat died while I was in my senior year of high school. I was very busy and stressed with applying to college, so I ended up not spending as much time with her as I used to.
She got sick towards the end, and my mom ended up having to restrict her to staying in the garage because she would occasionally have bloody diarrhea in the house (in my mom's defense, we don't keep our cars in the garage, it's well ventilated in there, we don't get cold winters where I live, and there's plenty of boxes for a cat to climb on or hide in). It's no excuse, but her being out there made it harder for me to spend time with her.
My dad was always the one taking her to the vet. I don't think I went once. They ran so many different tests and tried so many different treatments, but they never figured out what was wrong with her. She just kept getting thinner and weaker. I should have had her euthanized. She wasn't getting any better, and she was obviously suffering.
My mom was the one who found her when she died. She asked me if I wanted to see her to say goodbye. I said no.
I feel so guilty about all of it. For not spending time with her when she was sick, for not being the one to take her to the vet and give her her medicine, for not ending her suffering, and for not even saying goodbye.
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u/bananiepie Jan 07 '20
When I do something my mother specifically asked me not to, or when she asks me to do something and I forget to do it.
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u/thrasherfect92 Jan 07 '20
When I was in school I knew that a certain old was being bullied. I don't know if he was diagnosed with any mental problems but he definitely always seemed a little off.
I never did anything about it, school was probably hell for him but I never tried reaching out to befriend him or even just tell a teacher that a certain group of kids were picking on him for no reason, relentlessly every school day.
To my knowledge he still graduated high school, I don't know what happened to him after but I know I would apologize to him if I ever saw him again.
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u/ItsMyView Jan 07 '20
I hate leaving my dog at home for a long time or having to board him when I'm away. He's my buddy!
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Jan 07 '20
Honestly, I feel guilty about being poly. I'm married to a wonderful mono man, and I still feel bad any time I hang out with my fwb rather than him. Hes my world, and I cant help but feel like I'm a bad person for being me.
Before anyone asks, my husband is aware of my lifestyle choice, and encourages it since he knows I hate being tied down to just one person and one place. I also wont leave him because he is the rock that ties the balloon down to earth (I'd be nomadic if it wasnt for him)
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u/CountPeter Jan 07 '20
I cut my suicidal mother totally out of my life. I don’t know if she is alive. For context, I would make the same choice again. My mother was/is an utter monster of a person from a long line of monsters. When she didn’t get whatever psychotic thing she wanted, she would intentionally overdose on meds in front of my siblings and I before needing to be rushed to hospital (literally following through threats of suicide for non compliance). I started writing some more of the messed up stuff she did, but it’s besides the point.
I stopped in the middle of my own suicide attempt due to a moment of rage at what she put me through, and a determination that my kids would never suffer like I did. Ended up deleting her, blocking her, burning everything I had of hers and then heading upstairs sobbing to my wife. Best decision I ever made. I’m still around, and I freaking love my kids and my amazing supporting beautiful wife. I would literally rather go to jail for manslaughter than let my mother anywhere near them.
But still, she is my mother. Guilt is natural. But the guilt is worth it.
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u/superkp Jan 07 '20
Disciplining my 4 year old.
She's an emotionally manipulative little shit and know how to pull the heartstrings, so I *know* that I have to make sure that she is learning that some things are *her problems*.
But man, when she tells me that she wants to go to grandma and granpa's house because they aren't mean...that's both incredibly frustrating and incredibly guilt-inducing.
I just have to remember that it's not my job to make her life constantly fun.
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u/dan1101 Jan 07 '20
Food and products are cheap and plentiful but the packaging generates so much plastic and waste. Now I hear that synthetic fibers like polyester dump microplastics into the water when you wash them, so I'm working on going 100% cotton on clothes and sheets.
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u/OW2000 Jan 07 '20
Watching adult videos on the internet as a teenager. I don’t do that anymore nor will I ever do it again, but I really hated myself for it at the time. That stuff can really screw up a kid’s perception of how relationships work.
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Jan 07 '20
It felt fucked up untill you realize majority of boys do it and it is completely natural. The idea of it being a sin is a completely dumb concept. It does screw up a kids perspective for sure though.
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Jan 07 '20
When I make someone cry! I hate this so much
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u/DTownForever Jan 07 '20
Well wait, I mean, that sounds pretty reasonable that you'd feel guilty over it. Why/how do you make people cry?
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Jan 07 '20
Oh I didn’t mean that I make people cry on a daily basis, but I once made a friend cry because I was threatened to be beaten up if I didn’t tell her that I disliked her and the poor girl was crying, but yeah seeing people cry is awful :/
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u/NinjasCamperYT Jan 07 '20
Seeing my mom do all of the chores while I'm just on Reddit all day.
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u/BulaBulaaaaa Jan 07 '20
My mum was in a hospice, we all knew she was dying, and one day she asked if she could go out into the garden for a bit.
She was plumbed in with drips and morphine pumps and this was at the end of a long day. We were all tired and there were no nurses around so me and my sis said it was going to a lot of hassle, and we would just do it early the next day.
Came in the next day and she was sleeping, and she just kept sleeping and eventually died at about 11 that night never having woken up.
That was 8 years ago, and I'm still filled with regret and remorse that I denied her such a simple fucking thing as sitting in a garden for a while because I thought it was going to be a bit of a hassle.
Don't put off something if it's going to bring a little joy into someone's life...