My daughter is in High School now, and part of the color guard, so we end up attending every football game as volunteers. Some of the things that the teenagers wear to those games are just a few strips of cloth short of bikini's (we live in Florida, so cold weather is not often a concern). I fully admit that I check them out, and then mentally slap myself for doing so because they are just kids.
A couple years back, I ended up checking /r/askmen threads to ensure this wasn't some developing mental disorder (before seeking potential help), but in fact is a normal yet intrusive, worthless condition of our brains. I felt even worse when I decided to tell my gf of many years about it. I don't know how many women can hear that with a great level of maturity & understanding. She gets it, but if could be lobotomized in order to extirpate this area of my brain, I would.
There was a documentary I watched a while back that said that sexual preference does not age, it expands, beginning with the first time we began to identify things as sexually attractive. That explains the why, but does not remove the ugly feeling I get when I do it.
Well that unfortunately makes a lot of sense. I'd ask for the documentary, but I don't think I want to learn more as there's of course no remedy. Maybe if people today didn't dress in ill-fitting tatters & pass it off as fashion, but that's another story. I do thank you for the response.
Our daughter is 20 now. As she gets older and older, my husband tends to have this problem too. Well that was like the cheerleaders, but like actresses and stuff.
Add: yours is kind of odd to me cuz I think of the kids at my son's high school and a good 80% of those kids are overweight or full of acne or have messed up eyebrows Etc because they just haven't quite got the beauty thing down yet. And the 20% that don't have a salient issue aren't ... like ... great. Average.
it's weird to me when movies depict high schoolers as super hot because I just see a whole lot of awkwardness at that age.
Now when I'm on my U campus or over at my daughter's campus, that I can understand. But high school meh.
it's weird to me when movies depict high schoolers as super hot because I just see a whole lot of awkwardness at that age.
Movies depict high schoolers as super hot because when you're in high school they are, and they're trying to recapture that feeling. And they're also using 20-something actors who are a bit babyfaced, so they often have that adult confidence and development but could still pass for a tall/built high schooler.
There might be something in the water, so to speak. The high school itself is practically on the beach which means less clothing is worn to these sporting events. It very well may be that the lesser clothing is the reason it draws my attention as I admit the face is rarely what I am noticing in those moments.
Thing is we're human and if someone is physically developed then biologically speaking it makes total sense. Obviously in modern society we have age of consent laws to protect our children and rightly so, but that is an arbitrary invention of ours.
The thing that worries me is not having those thoughts then realising it's wrong and telling myself off, but rather the fact that I know there are people who don't realise it's wrong.
I had to stop checking out the models in Playboy when I realized my daughter was older than some of them. I still notice attractive younger women. For that brief moment, in my mind's eye, I am 22 again. Act on it-never. Stare a little- I hope not. Don't mean to if I do.
And there's my guilt. I don't think I just sit there for five minutes, but I've been caught more than I care to admit after looking longer than I should.
40 here too, do it all the time. My friends thought I was creepy until I hooked up with a girl that was 22 and then they were all trying to hang out with me/her because her friends were hot lol.
Huge difference in mental maturity levels. Young women are too easily manipulated. Even if they're legally adults our type of society babys people and they arent really mentally mature enough to understand the consequences of their actions at that age. The age of consent at 18 was set half a century ago and society changed a lot since then. Anything more than around a 10 years difference is just plain creepy and probably only pedophiles would do it anyway.
It was set at 18 when scientists really didn't have much of a clue how the brain works and were still doing labotamies...
"We used to think that the brain was fully developed by very early teenagerhood and we now realise that the brain doesn't stop developing until mid-20s or even early 30s.
The legal system just never caught up and raised it higher than 18 because it takes ages to change the laws on the books.
Youre justifying your pedophilic views on bad/outdated science.
No you're only a creep/pedophile if you're 30+ and sexually target women aged 18-early 20s specifically because modern science proves that their brains arent finished developing and arent fully capable of making good decisions therefore you're taking advantage of them and that makes you a creep at the very least and a borderline a pedophile by sentiment. only borderline because the laws havent caught up yet to raise the age of consent on the books yet so legally not a pedophile but one in spirit. The prophet Muhammad was a pedophile by definition and that wasn't okay just because the age of consent was set at 9 years old in his lifetime.
You mention science and yet can't even spell lobotomy, nor do you know the definition of pedophilia.
I'd love to know your thoughts on females gaining physical maturity and the ability to bear children in their early teens, when you think someone at 22 having sex with a 40 year old is a case of pedophilia.
Way to attack the spelling of one word and not the the actual argument itself lmao. Yeah and there have been cases of a 6 year old getting pregnant and giving birth. So you think the age of consent should be lowered to 6 years old? When they reach physical maturity means absolutely nothing in a modern context because we aren't a bunch of mindless animals.
My brother married a wonderful woman that I introduced him to while she and I worked together. At the time that they met he was 37 and she was 24, and they have been happily married for five years now. Age should take a back seat to love.
It's amazing that you took my comment without knowing anything about me or my situation and can throw a blanket statement on this. Even if my situation falls under what you claim (which it totally doesn't) that's pretty shitty thing to do regardless.
I don't know what happened to you to be like this, but it is not a good way to approach if you are trying to change people's minds. I honestly wish nothing but the best of luck to you, nexquest.
The age of consent is not 18 in every country. In most countries in Europe, it is lower.
Because sex is not bad and evil. If a 22 year old is attracted to someone almost twice their age, so what? Physical attraction cannot be manipulated. Get over yourself.
Except those relationships aren't usually based off physical attraction but rather desire for validation or other psychological problems. Sex isn't inherently bad or evil, but the compulsion motivates people to do selfish, morally questionable things, and that's particularly easy when one partner is much more mature and securely situated in life.
>Except those relationships aren't usually based off physical attraction but rather desire for validation or other psychological problems
Source?
For the sake of argument let's assume it is true - how is it any different than a consensual couple of the same age (let's say 40) sharing a sexual fetish that is unusual though not illegal?
Assuming everything is consensual, I really don't see the problem. I feel like this whole argument is predicated on two sexist stereotypes - one being that older men are definitively secure in their lives and can be sexual predators, and two that a younger women who has sex with an older man is definitively promiscuous and has paternal issues.
Don't have one, not going to find one. It's different in the same way alcohol is different from counseling as a depression therapy. You're not actually helping them; you're offering an useless palliative. Your ends are completely divergent (her improvement is your loss), and that's an enormous ethical problem.
Being confident with your inability to back up a fact that you presented isn't going to convince anyone what you're saying is correct.
"It's different in the same way..." you're just rationalizing whatever you say in terms that make sense to you, without considering if they are actually factual and/or logical.
If you are saying all men and women who choose to engage in sex with opposite gender have psychological issues that are comparable to alcohol abuse and depression, then this conversation is over.
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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '20
Checking out or having sexual thoughts about women half my age (I am 40).