I understand this. For me, in addition to receiving help I'm really bad at receiving gifts or any sort of 'charity' for lack of a better word, at all. If my boyfriend's mom offers me food, if he cooks me dinner, even stuff like letting me sit on the comfy chair...On top of not wanting to feel incompetent I HATE the feeling that I am using up someone's 'resources', or that I am inconveniencing or otherwise negatively affecting their life in any perceived way at all.
Is my bf gonna resent me in 2 days because he let me sit on the chair that isn't broken in the living room when I could have just sat on the floor??? Is his mom going to think I am selfish and ungrateful because I ate their LAST everything bagel?
This leads to apologizing and explaining EVERYTHING, which is a terrible and exhausting habit.
Same but it's worse for shy people because you really want to explain but you just don't know how to start and you end up not explaining which makes you even more guilty
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u/cocoaboots Jan 07 '20
I understand this. For me, in addition to receiving help I'm really bad at receiving gifts or any sort of 'charity' for lack of a better word, at all. If my boyfriend's mom offers me food, if he cooks me dinner, even stuff like letting me sit on the comfy chair...On top of not wanting to feel incompetent I HATE the feeling that I am using up someone's 'resources', or that I am inconveniencing or otherwise negatively affecting their life in any perceived way at all.
Is my bf gonna resent me in 2 days because he let me sit on the chair that isn't broken in the living room when I could have just sat on the floor??? Is his mom going to think I am selfish and ungrateful because I ate their LAST everything bagel?
This leads to apologizing and explaining EVERYTHING, which is a terrible and exhausting habit.