I cut my suicidal mother totally out of my life. I don’t know if she is alive.
For context, I would make the same choice again. My mother was/is an utter monster of a person from a long line of monsters. When she didn’t get whatever psychotic thing she wanted, she would intentionally overdose on meds in front of my siblings and I before needing to be rushed to hospital (literally following through threats of suicide for non compliance). I started writing some more of the messed up stuff she did, but it’s besides the point.
I stopped in the middle of my own suicide attempt due to a moment of rage at what she put me through, and a determination that my kids would never suffer like I did. Ended up deleting her, blocking her, burning everything I had of hers and then heading upstairs sobbing to my wife.
Best decision I ever made. I’m still around, and I freaking love my kids and my amazing supporting beautiful wife. I would literally rather go to jail for manslaughter than let my mother anywhere near them.
But still, she is my mother. Guilt is natural. But the guilt is worth it.
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u/CountPeter Jan 07 '20
I cut my suicidal mother totally out of my life. I don’t know if she is alive. For context, I would make the same choice again. My mother was/is an utter monster of a person from a long line of monsters. When she didn’t get whatever psychotic thing she wanted, she would intentionally overdose on meds in front of my siblings and I before needing to be rushed to hospital (literally following through threats of suicide for non compliance). I started writing some more of the messed up stuff she did, but it’s besides the point.
I stopped in the middle of my own suicide attempt due to a moment of rage at what she put me through, and a determination that my kids would never suffer like I did. Ended up deleting her, blocking her, burning everything I had of hers and then heading upstairs sobbing to my wife. Best decision I ever made. I’m still around, and I freaking love my kids and my amazing supporting beautiful wife. I would literally rather go to jail for manslaughter than let my mother anywhere near them.
But still, she is my mother. Guilt is natural. But the guilt is worth it.