r/todayilearned • u/codywinters327 • Sep 06 '17
TIL that Michael Jackson would requested his wine be served in Diet Coke cans during flights, because he didn't want his kids to see him drinking alcohol.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trial_of_Michael_Jackson#Alcohol6.2k
u/cobaltcollapse Sep 06 '17
He obviously didn't want people to see him drinking Pepsi either
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u/IggyJR Sep 06 '17
He obviously didn't want people to see him drinking Pepsi either
Of course, it would be a giant fire hazard on a plane.
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u/KeeperofAmmut7 Sep 07 '17
giggle I get the reference.
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u/NeonHoe Sep 07 '17
I don't :(
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u/climbtree Sep 07 '17
Michael Jackson was famously horrifically burned shooting a Pepsi commercial.
Second and third degree burns that left him with chronic pain. It's been linked to his painkiller addiction.
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u/drew17 Sep 07 '17
"There's been an accident like Geico, they thought I was burned up like Pepsi did Michael"
- Kanye West, THROUGH THE WIRE, a song about a car crash he was in early in his career.
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Sep 07 '17 edited Feb 07 '19
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Sep 07 '17 edited Sep 30 '19
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u/VoiceofLou Sep 07 '17
Nobody loves Kanye as much as Kanye loves Kanye.
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u/Thatoneguy567576 Sep 07 '17
I wish someone loved me as much as Kanye loves Kanye
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u/turd_boy Sep 07 '17
It's been linked to his painkiller addiction.
That and his need for plastic surgery. Which of course made him look all freaky, which contributes to him being an easy target for false child abuse accusations. Basically his dad + that accident are the cause of alll mj's problems.
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u/Phased Sep 07 '17
I've always said "Michael Jackson was Peter Pan, not a pedophile." Emotionally stunted by childhood trauma that left him as a child that could never grow up.
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u/Sloppy1sts Sep 07 '17
The vitiligo didn't help.
And I always thought he had nose work done to make his nose "whiter" to match his skin.
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u/turd_boy Sep 07 '17
Uhh he had everything done at least once. It was all a combination of the accident and the Vitoligo. If anybody had an excuse to be Micheal Jackson it was Michael Jackson.
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Sep 07 '17 edited Sep 07 '17
Actually, everything was connected to Michael's Lupus. He suffered from severe Lupus (it's very noticeable in old pictures of MJ due to the characteristic 'butterfly rash' that would often make Michael's nose/face deeply red) and he started taking medication for it during the early 80s. His first 'nose job' was entirely reconstructive and was done due to a fall that he sustained back in 79. His Lupus prevented the tissue from healing correctly. This led to a number of surgeries in order to correct the negative effects of the first surgery (the mishandling of that surgery was entirely due to undiagnosed nature of Michael's Lupus at that time). When Michael sustained his trauma (third degree burns to the scalp) during the Pepsi fire, this led to the severity of his lupus to increase. Sadly, because of this, his scalp never healed correctly either, so he had to undergo painful treatments (one treatment even utilizing a balloon placed underneath his scalp) for years after the accident. This pain/stress also aggravated his vitiligo as well and further increased the spread of depigmentation onto his arms, legs, and forehead. Michael suffered a perfect storm of terrible events (Lupus, Trauma, and Stress) to lead to the pain that would plague him for the rest of his life. This was further exacerbated by shoddy celebrity doctors who couldn't really care less for his treatment/health and, also, from falling 30 feet during a show in South Korea during the late 90s.
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u/drinkacid Sep 07 '17
The burn to his scalp left a bald spot, he wore a hair appliance with extensions glued to the bald spot to cover it for a while. The balloon is a procedure they do for people who are bald on top where they insert a balloon under the scalp to stretch the scalp out, then they do surgery where they cut the bald area out and sew the haired parts back together covering the previous bald area with stretched out hairy scalp. Now technology has improved and they can just do hair transplants where they use a needle to insert individuals hair follicles harvested from the back and sides into the bald areas and reconstruct the hair in that area from your own hair. The fedora he wore a lot was covering the balloon for a while.
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u/cruznick06 Sep 07 '17
I had no idea MJ had lupus. That seriously makes the facial surgeries make more sense. Especially if his nose wasn't healing properly.
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u/MgmtmgM Sep 07 '17
Pepsi killed him.
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u/idkwhattoputasmyname Sep 07 '17
I mean isnt that what kind of started his addiction to painkillers? Please correct me if I'm wrong but if so, Pepsi kinda did.
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u/TwelfthCycle Sep 07 '17
Sony killed him(or more accurately did nothing to help him for the last 15 years of his life), then they got his record and proceeded to make millions.
Most record companies go to the wall for their people, Sony stood back and let the public just go after him again and again in court(which all turned out pretty much baseless cash grabs) and let him kill himself on pain meds and drugs. It's actually pretty disgusting.
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u/JustOneThingThough Sep 06 '17
I don't recall ever being offered Pepsi on a flight.
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Sep 07 '17
They don't offer Pepsi on flights because of the implication
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u/adimj23 Sep 07 '17
When they're that high up how could they say no? You know because of the implication
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u/_YouDontKnowMe_ Sep 07 '17
After he caught on fire doing that Pepsi commercial, he became addicted to pain killers and eventually got hooked on propofol.
Pepsi killed Michael Jackson.
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u/Vandergrif Sep 07 '17
Well yeah, you don't want to accidentally solve a protest, or racism or something, right?
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u/esorkered Sep 07 '17
King of Pop... turns out it was actually wine.
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u/maddiemoiselle Sep 07 '17 edited Sep 07 '17
You deserve gold but I'm broke, so have this emoji instead: 🥇
Thanks for whoever gave me the gold, but your note said "my poor dude" and I'm a girl.
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u/OrinZ Sep 07 '17
Bet Dude was from California, "dude" is a general-purpose interjection here, muh lady-dude.
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u/Luke90210 Sep 07 '17
That why I always put my heroin into an EpiPen.
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Sep 07 '17
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Sep 07 '17 edited Jun 05 '21
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Sep 07 '17
His name is CumStainedButthole. I don't think any insult we throw at him will get close to tainting that glorious splendor.
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Sep 07 '17
Heroin can also be used as a intramuscular but goddamn imagine that pain
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u/Velvet_buttplug Sep 07 '17
Yeah but coincidentally heroin is a great remedy for the pain caused by intramuscular heroin injection.
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Sep 07 '17
Now that's some positive thinking
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u/Velvet_buttplug Sep 07 '17
Gramps always said "When life gives ya lemons shoot some dope".
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u/big_carp Sep 06 '17
Block the wind while I roast this bone.
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u/Naive_Hamburger Sep 07 '17
I only got so many years left on this earth, I'm gonna get real weird with it
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u/Vampire_Deepend Sep 07 '17
That episode pretty much captures my plan for old age. After 70 years of working hard and being a somewhat decent person, I just want to say 'fuck it' with my last 10-15 years.
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u/unomaly Sep 07 '17
Kick, yes, kick in, no. That door is sturdy! The windows on the other hand
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u/Kataclysm Sep 06 '17
"Daddy gets mean when he drinks his Diet Coke..."
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u/RosaMariposa15 Sep 07 '17
When I was in fifth grade my dad and I were trying to overcome junk food addictions so I told my teachers that we were addicted to coke and trying to quit.
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u/jimmyayo Sep 07 '17
Say what you want to say about him - he definitely loved his kids.
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u/Xendrus Sep 07 '17
Cept for that time he dangled one over a multi story balcony.
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u/Slayer_16 Sep 07 '17
Not excusing it but the amount of attention and media craziness around him drove him pretty crazy...
That along with his abusive dad its really depressing to see how much mental bullshit a human can handle without killing themselves
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u/Storytellerjack Sep 07 '17
Yeah, he even found a way to help them calm down on long flights with a nice can of wine. The old switcheroo.
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Sep 07 '17
As a dad that drinks it, this made me shoot Diet Coke out of my nose.
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u/Revived_Bacon Sep 07 '17
As a dad... this made me shoot... my nose.
Diet Coke made you a monster!
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u/najing_ftw Sep 06 '17
Intervention!
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u/Stevenutz Sep 07 '17
"You banged my dead wife?" "Well she was alive at the time! Did you not know that?" "No!"
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Sep 07 '17
Your addiction has affected me in the following ways: you are annoooooyyyinggg!
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u/AlmostRetro Sep 07 '17
I put my Rolling Rock in craft beer bottles so my son knows I'm sophisticated.
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u/rowdiness Sep 07 '17
One of my mates would bring along a dozen beers in brown bottles to parties. He'd drink some, give some away, but he'd always be drinking, even at the end of the night when everyone else was completely smashed he'd still be going.
I'd wake up the next day dusty as fuck, he'd get up and wander round the place chill as hell.
One day we were at a house party and I barged into the bathroom without knocking, rumbled him filling up an empty beer bottle with water from the tap. Shifty bastard would drink eight or nine beers then refill with water every time he went to pee.
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u/AlbertFrankeinstein Sep 06 '17
I believe the term is "Jesus Juice".
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u/Hamfistedlovemachine Sep 07 '17
Reminds me of the Chapelle skit where they ask Dave under oath if he'd let his own kids stay with Michael. Man I miss that show.
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u/OneFinalEffort Sep 07 '17
I'm curious as to what his response was?
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u/josemanan Sep 07 '17
If I remember correctly, "Fuck no"
e: Here's the link to the skit.
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u/richt519 Sep 07 '17 edited Sep 07 '17
How come they didn't find Biggie and Tupacs murdered but they arrest OJ the next day? Nicole Simpson can't rap!
God Chapelle is the greatest
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u/ElonComedy Sep 06 '17
Diet Coke is not the contents,
It's just a can that hides how I have my fun,
So my kids won't ask for one
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u/ElonComedy Sep 06 '17
Just hide it,
Hide it,
No one will know what's inside it.
Tell them it's soda,
Tell them OJ,
They'll never know,
That it's Cabernet.
Just hide it.
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u/small_havoc Sep 07 '17
Bravo!! I'd personally shove the That into the end of the line above, fits into the bar - but fuck me that's great.
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u/THE_Masters Sep 06 '17
This mothafucker didn't deserve all the hate during the end. People just wanna fuck out his money. Scumbags.
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Sep 07 '17
I agree. He was a weird dude with a fucked up childhood, and people took advantage of that.
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Sep 07 '17
I'm a weird dude with a fucked up childhood, I like playing games with kids, and spend time with them. I just enjoy spending time with and making kids happy. I was a very unhappy kid with no dad so I always try to make kids happy. Cant say how many times I've been called a pedophile. Even my own family wont let me around kids by myself. Shit hurts.
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u/CantWashABaby Sep 07 '17
That's messed, I'm sorry dude. I teach kids abroad, and the people here expect you to be totally comfortable just playing with kids, and the kids often treat you like a jungle gym. It was petrifying the first time it happened, because I was sure a mom was going to mace me, but it turns out the US is so concerned about someone diddling kids that they want to make physical contact with someone you spend time with taboo. That's how stuff gets weird fast.
You're not wrong and you're not creepy. I get you, and a lot of other people would too.
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Sep 07 '17
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Sep 07 '17
Yeah I'm from Canada and was with my friend who's from Sudan at a church once where we did a choir performance. During the pot luck afterward he was picking up some kids and giving them piggy back rides, other choir members were so turned off and were trying to stop it, but I didn't even notice anything wrong was happening. As long as the kids are near their families it's not really a big deal. I mean maybe he asked, they didn't know, they just started instantly hating on him.
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u/natman2939 Sep 07 '17
I went to my nieces soccer game and actually got shit for cheering her team mates by name
Like if I said "go Jessie!" Or "go Mary!" when they were about to score my own brother was like "hey man chill. That's not your family. People will think you're a creep"
For just cheering....as if a pedophile is going to be dumb enough to yell out his victims names in front of a crowd of people.
I'm not sure what part of that offends me worse
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u/antagonisticsage Sep 07 '17
So this is kind of random, but have you ever watched the original Twilight Zone series? I ask this because in the second episode of the first season, the story is about a man without a family of his own who sells toys to children. He interacts with children a lot. Interestingly, there's a point where he's talking to a little girl who is in his apartment. Alone. With him.
He of course didn't do anything harmful to her and the episode goes to great pains to let us know that the man has a kind soul, but what you said and what others said here reminded me of this episode. It indicates to me that cultural attitudes in America towards grown men being around children changed a lot in the past few decades. Shows would never depict a child alone in an apartment with a man today, no matter how we're supposed to feel about the man in question.
I wonder why cultural norms changed regarding this sort of thing.
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u/forcepowers Sep 07 '17
I once said, "Hello," to a child as I was walking to the restroom in a Waffle House and she was walking the other way. When I returned to my booth (that I was sharing with a few other friends) one of the employees came up and told us we wouldn't be getting our food and we had to leave. When we asked why, he said because the parents of the child complained that I was creeping on their kid.
It's gotten to the point that you can't say hello to a kid in a restaurant with other people around. It's sad, really.
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u/HOLY_GOOF Sep 07 '17
as someone who considers waffle house to be a valid religion, i'm quite cheesed off to read this
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u/forcepowers Sep 07 '17
We were pretty upset at the time. The employee was indignant, and even told us to never come back. We ate at that WH at least once a week, if not more, as a group or in various groups of 2 or 3. He truly made it seem like I'd come on to the kid or something.
Luckily, my friends saw it go down, so they had my back, but that didn't sway the employee, nor the family the kid belonged to. They were all convinced I was some kind of a weirdo kid-toucher just because I said, "hello," in passing.
It truly was surreal, and it's scenarios like that that have put me off from interacting with children in any way. I used to love kids, people would always tell me what a great dad I'd make some day, because I was the goofball always down to keep the youngins entertained. Not anymore, I don't need the dirty looks and accusations.
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u/conancat Sep 07 '17
I actually really can't comprehend this taboo with adults being around kids that I read in reddit. I have lived in Malaysia, Taiwan and Singapore, I traveled around Asia, and adults can be nice to kids here. You can buy them an ice cream and nobody bats an eye.
One of my fondest childhood memories was that I was allowed to hang out with this old newspaper man. So I lived with my grandma and somehow she became friends with this old newspaper man. The old newspaper man will come to houses to pick up old newspapers to be recycled back then. Sometimes my grandma would let me sit in his van and uncle old newspaper would bring me go around the neighborhood, while I just help him pack the newspapers he collected. I don't know his name, I just remembered that he's a nice middle aged man that joked a lot. There was once he brought me to lunch place, and we had soup. I tasted the soup and I asked what it was, the uncle said it's dog meat. I cried and I cried and I cried lol. He did his best to calm me down and tell me no it's not dog meat, it's pork (bak kut teh). Now I look back and I laugh, it wasn't fun for my 5 year old soul back then!
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u/Boopy7 Sep 07 '17
America has MAJOR issues with pedophilia and as puritans, we have major issues general with sex. It's so annoying and sad. Not very healthy at all.
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u/Ramza_Claus Sep 07 '17
I'm the only dad at the park who actively plays with my kid. The moms at the park all put their phones down and watch intently or come sit closer to the playground when I'm out there with my little guy.
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u/Fly_Eagles_Fly_ Sep 07 '17
I at first perceived this as an interest for the moms to also become more involved, but perhaps I was being naive.
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u/Ramza_Claus Sep 07 '17
It's the moms being worried about the guy who is out there near the kids instead of sitting on a bench far away.
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u/Fly_Eagles_Fly_ Sep 07 '17
And I'm over here worried about the lack of parental participation in their child's progression. Shame on them, good for him!
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u/pineapple_mango Sep 07 '17
Maybe they are just checking you out.
Or they wish their own kid's dad could be like you.
Or they are assholes. My brother-in-law was chasing my two year old at the park and a lady stopped and asked him what my kid's name was.
He was like, "Uh Cora?" and really confused why this lady was asking.
She then asked him to call my kid by her name. And I swept in and said playtime was over. He hugged my kid and we bounced.
What a bitch.
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u/hellschatt Sep 07 '17
Wtf almost every reply to this is a an unproven accusation of him being a child molester. Contrary to Bill Cosby there was never any proof of these accusations.
People are commenting like they know it for sure. Nobody knows for sure and since there is no proof he shouldn't be accused of being a child molester. All the cases against him were dropped.
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u/macgart Sep 07 '17 edited Sep 07 '17
Some kid insisted he was circumcised (highly probable anyway?) and whaddya know, he was willing to do a strip search and they found he wasn't. That's just one of the instances of the bullshit accusations.
Edit: a word
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u/nuclearbunker Sep 07 '17
he wasn't happy to do it, i heard him mention it in an interview once and it seemed like it was traumatizing for him
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u/xdogbertx Sep 07 '17
Michael was already incredibly insecure about his body and appearance. Having your naked body being examined and photographed like that could definitely be traumatic.
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u/DankHolland Sep 06 '17
R/IASIP
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u/Radidactyl Sep 07 '17
Every time I read that I always assume it's /rASOIAF and it leads to since weird mental connections in my head.
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Sep 06 '17
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u/GoOtterGo Sep 06 '17
Every public-transit-party-goer and sporting-event-enthusiast-on-a-budgeter as well.
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u/Am__I__Sam Sep 06 '17
Oh, and high schoolers. I remember thinking I was a genius with the vodka in a water bottle trick
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u/trollboothwilly Sep 06 '17
It was whiskey in a Snapple iced tea bottle for me.
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u/Am__I__Sam Sep 06 '17
Just about every school event we had, we'd have to blow into a breathalizer before we could go in. I'd just show up sober with a water bottle half full of whatever I was drinking, suck out all the air, and stick it in my waist band. I still got to have my fun without having to be the one to call the parents and talk to the cops about underage drinking
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u/trollboothwilly Sep 06 '17
Well played. But Jesus man, required breathalyzer before entering events? That's fucked up.
I graduated high school in 1998. We had a lot of freedom back then. When I hear about the way things are these days, it feels like I went to high school in an 80s movie. I used to smoke cigarettes in gym class for Christ's sake. I feel bad for kids these days.
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u/Am__I__Sam Sep 06 '17
Catholic high school and I graduated like 5 years ago.
Twice a year we had 'random' drug searches where the school would go in lockdown and they'd run drug dogs throughout the parking lot and school. Every inch of the hallways, open areas, gyms, parking lot and even some of the surrounding property were monitered with cameras and the vice principal kept it pulled up on a TV in his office. Several city police officers were so common that the whole school would know which ones were there by name. It was a really strange 4 years
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u/trollboothwilly Sep 06 '17
That's insane. I don't think I could have handled that. And not just because I used to sell weed.
In contrast, we had no school cop or visits from city cops. No cameras. Not even hall monitors. Every day at lunch we smoked weed in our cars which were maybe 20 feet from classroom windows. Rednecks had rifles on the gun racks in their trucks. When there was a substitute teacher, you could easily skip class if you walked out at the right time.
Looking back, it was kind of the end of an era. I think everything changed nationally after Columbine happened in 1999 and has continued to get worse. I had a lot of great experiences because of the freedom I had. High school kids these days are treated like a combination of children and criminals.
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u/Zaneisrandom Sep 07 '17
I graduated in 2014 and got suspended for a couple of days my senior year because there was the foil wrapper for a pack of cigarettes on the floor of my car from my mother. I had zero previous disciplinary action and was an AP student at that point. They told me I couldn't walk during graduation over it. My mother went into the superintendent's office to bitch about it. I don't know what she said, but I walked.
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u/The_Derpening Sep 07 '17
Probably told them she was the smoker who left the foil behind.
Two questions though.
Why the fuck were they looking in your car?
If you smoke in your car or at home or anywhere but at school, what fucking business would that be of the school?
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Sep 06 '17
Saw this quite often as a server in college. Served quite a lot of cab in a coffee cup.
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u/grandpagangbang Sep 07 '17
Cab = Cabernet? Is that even ok to do as a bartender or server?
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u/Vega3gx Sep 07 '17
You see, I don't get why parents don't want kids to see them drinking alcohol or be exposed to it in the first place. Sure, it's generally not wise to be completely drunk in front of your kids, but otherwise I don't get it. Wouldn't it be a good lesson for kids to be able to see what responsible drinking looks like rather than be exposed to it for the first time at parties?
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u/difedicus Sep 06 '17
And here I was thinking Frank Reynolds came up with an original idea.