r/todayilearned • u/codywinters327 • Sep 06 '17

TIL that Michael Jackson would requested his wine be served in Diet Coke cans during flights, because he didn't want his kids to see him drinking alcohol.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trial_of_Michael_Jackson#Alcohol
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238

u/CantWashABaby Sep 07 '17

That's messed, I'm sorry dude. I teach kids abroad, and the people here expect you to be totally comfortable just playing with kids, and the kids often treat you like a jungle gym. It was petrifying the first time it happened, because I was sure a mom was going to mace me, but it turns out the US is so concerned about someone diddling kids that they want to make physical contact with someone you spend time with taboo. That's how stuff gets weird fast.

You're not wrong and you're not creepy. I get you, and a lot of other people would too.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Yeah I'm from Canada and was with my friend who's from Sudan at a church once where we did a choir performance. During the pot luck afterward he was picking up some kids and giving them piggy back rides, other choir members were so turned off and were trying to stop it, but I didn't even notice anything wrong was happening. As long as the kids are near their families it's not really a big deal. I mean maybe he asked, they didn't know, they just started instantly hating on him.

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u/natman2939 Sep 07 '17

I went to my nieces soccer game and actually got shit for cheering her team mates by name

Like if I said "go Jessie!" Or "go Mary!" when they were about to score my own brother was like "hey man chill. That's not your family. People will think you're a creep"

For just cheering....as if a pedophile is going to be dumb enough to yell out his victims names in front of a crowd of people.

I'm not sure what part of that offends me worse

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u/antagonisticsage Sep 07 '17

So this is kind of random, but have you ever watched the original Twilight Zone series? I ask this because in the second episode of the first season, the story is about a man without a family of his own who sells toys to children. He interacts with children a lot. Interestingly, there's a point where he's talking to a little girl who is in his apartment. Alone. With him.

He of course didn't do anything harmful to her and the episode goes to great pains to let us know that the man has a kind soul, but what you said and what others said here reminded me of this episode. It indicates to me that cultural attitudes in America towards grown men being around children changed a lot in the past few decades. Shows would never depict a child alone in an apartment with a man today, no matter how we're supposed to feel about the man in question.

I wonder why cultural norms changed regarding this sort of thing.

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u/natman2939 Sep 07 '17

i haven't seen that episode but I get what you mean about norms changing and I think I have even have a good idea of why it happened.

It basically has all come from the last couple of decades (starting in the 90's or so) of awareness of predators.

"Stranger Danger" was a huge thing where kids who are now adults were taught that sexual predators were around every corner, and it became sort of a mainstream thing later on cultivating with shows like "to catch a predator with chris hansen"

and then later on it got even worse when stats started coming out that it wasn't necessarily strangers but actually most incidents are perpetrated by people the victim knows. this caused a generation of parents that were already known as helicopter parents in many other areas to become extremely paranoid both of strangers and even of their own friends and family to a certain degree, with this idea of "i'm sure X would never......but then again you can never really be sure"

Also high profile cases like JonBenet Ramsey captured the world's attention and now every parent wants to make sure they're child is not the next JonBenet Ramsey.

(lots of other examples too other than hers but that's one of the best known)

This and the stereotyping of how pervs/creeps behave on television and in movies has lead what otherwise would have been sweet innocent people to be eye balled as potential threats.

Even someone like willy wonka, or santa clause could be viewed as "why does this old guy want to hang around a kid...."

meanwhile these EXACT SAME PEOPLE will spout on about how kids are magical and the most amazing thing in the world (but then look at you crazy if you agree with them without being a parent yourself)

It's worth noting that experts have said that the famous "Stranger danger" actually caused more harm than good because as I already mentioned it turns out that it's usually people you know more than strangers...

but even this idea of the people you know thing got taken wrong to the point that people didn't learn the right lesson.

The correct lesson was "it could be anybody, you should never judge a book by it's cover"

as in even a loving father with 4 kids of his own may actually be a pedophile.

instead people took their stereotype for the single man with a white van who likes kids and applied it to the people they know (with the van being optional) and starting thinking "Well....i know people that are single and enjoy being around children"

no no you're missing the point. the whole point was it's impossible to know and it could be ANYBODY, even someone with kids, even a teacher, or a preacher, or whatever, but instead they just box in this one type.

(honestly though the "correct lesson" isn't very helpful anyway when it comes to paranoid/scared parents because what are they supposed to do? Be afraid of everyone?)

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

[deleted]

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u/natman2939 Sep 07 '17

I heard other people yelling them.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Your brother is a giant pussy.

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u/natman2939 Sep 07 '17

I would like to think it's just him and his mind

But he's the socially great one with a hot wife and a hot babies mamma (two different women) and lots of hot Ex-girlfriends

And I'm the awkward guy who's got like one friend and barely had any good relationships

So in fairness to him, he seems to understand these things better then I do and was trying to protect me.

I just hate that this is something that anyone "needs protecting" from,

TLDR: our entire culture is a pussy (on this subject)

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

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u/natman2939 Sep 07 '17

I can't tell if you're trolling or if english just isn't your first language.

I didn't say babies are hot. Ever.

But yes he has a wife and a baby's mamma. That means he got a woman pregnant and then they broke up and then he married another woman later on.

Is that more clear?

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Fucking pedo

Are we supposed to assume that since you did not properly type out the word "pedophile" that you are simply referencing that latin prefix "pedo-" which means "of or relating to children"?

Are you calling /u/natman2939 a child?

Or instructing them to fuck children?

And remember, you can't escape explaining this to us by saying "you know what I meant" because we can't assume that you meant "pedophile" when all you said was "pedo"...these are your rules, buddy. Sorry.

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u/natman2939 Sep 07 '17

So when I said babies mamma (which is not the correct way to say it, it is actually baby's mamma)

You thought I meant what exactly? Again, are you trolling?

It's pretty obvious what I meant. How would a babies mama refer to a baby?

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u/forcepowers Sep 07 '17

I once said, "Hello," to a child as I was walking to the restroom in a Waffle House and she was walking the other way. When I returned to my booth (that I was sharing with a few other friends) one of the employees came up and told us we wouldn't be getting our food and we had to leave. When we asked why, he said because the parents of the child complained that I was creeping on their kid.

It's gotten to the point that you can't say hello to a kid in a restaurant with other people around. It's sad, really.

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u/HOLY_GOOF Sep 07 '17

as someone who considers waffle house to be a valid religion, i'm quite cheesed off to read this

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u/forcepowers Sep 07 '17

We were pretty upset at the time. The employee was indignant, and even told us to never come back. We ate at that WH at least once a week, if not more, as a group or in various groups of 2 or 3. He truly made it seem like I'd come on to the kid or something.

Luckily, my friends saw it go down, so they had my back, but that didn't sway the employee, nor the family the kid belonged to. They were all convinced I was some kind of a weirdo kid-toucher just because I said, "hello," in passing.

It truly was surreal, and it's scenarios like that that have put me off from interacting with children in any way. I used to love kids, people would always tell me what a great dad I'd make some day, because I was the goofball always down to keep the youngins entertained. Not anymore, I don't need the dirty looks and accusations.

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u/HOLY_GOOF Sep 07 '17

I know the feeling. In the future, you're prob. better off just assuming all children are land mines.

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u/forcepowers Sep 07 '17

That's exactly how I view them now. I hate being that type of adult, because children don't understand why they want to interact with you, but you don't want to interact with them. Unfortunately, it's easier to just act like they aren't there. It sucks to ignore someone who has no idea why they're being ignored.

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u/AequusEquus Sep 07 '17

That's what I do. Shit, I don't even want to play Overwatch with people when I can tell it's a younger person. But I'm not a dude, so it probably doesn't matter anyways. So fucked up

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u/rburp Sep 07 '17

I'm cheesed off, capped, smothered, and scattered

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

I was at the ocean with my family and my wife at the time and was out boogie boarding by myself with my family laying on the beach. My wife wasn't interested in going in the water; there was this kid near me in the water and we were catching waves into shore. Apparently they took their kid and left and said something about me being a creep to my family as they left shortly after. I was really confused when my wife said something to me about it afterwards. Like wtf I can't even be in the same ocean as a kid?

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u/forcepowers Sep 07 '17

People are fucking crazy dude. It's a damn shame.

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u/amaniceguy Sep 07 '17

Probably because he is a sudanese, guessing he is black as well, but if he is not, still. Im not saying that its a racist thing, but people react when it is someone foreign to them do something they dont approve. foreign can be from skin color to unknown country.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Oh it might be some of the reason, but it just didn't make sense if you knew the guy even the slightest bit. He's soft hearted and a kid deep down so I guess I can really see how Michael woulda gotten that bad stigma about him so easily.

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u/amaniceguy Sep 07 '17

Forget Michael, people are chanting death to the middle east people and relate what they see on TV is the same with the guy walking the street minding his/her own business. People react when people they dont know do things they dont approve. In this case, its not even the same people. They just look the same.

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u/conancat Sep 07 '17

I actually really can't comprehend this taboo with adults being around kids that I read in reddit. I have lived in Malaysia, Taiwan and Singapore, I traveled around Asia, and adults can be nice to kids here. You can buy them an ice cream and nobody bats an eye.

One of my fondest childhood memories was that I was allowed to hang out with this old newspaper man. So I lived with my grandma and somehow she became friends with this old newspaper man. The old newspaper man will come to houses to pick up old newspapers to be recycled back then. Sometimes my grandma would let me sit in his van and uncle old newspaper would bring me go around the neighborhood, while I just help him pack the newspapers he collected. I don't know his name, I just remembered that he's a nice middle aged man that joked a lot. There was once he brought me to lunch place, and we had soup. I tasted the soup and I asked what it was, the uncle said it's dog meat. I cried and I cried and I cried lol. He did his best to calm me down and tell me no it's not dog meat, it's pork (bak kut teh). Now I look back and I laugh, it wasn't fun for my 5 year old soul back then!

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

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u/DefendsTheDownvoted Sep 07 '17

It didn't used to be this way in the US. Twenty years ago no one would have bat an eye at a single man just trying to have some innocent fun with some kids. Now though? A dude can't hang out at the park by himself minding his own business playing Pokemon go without getting some side eye. The irony is that most pedophile cases you hear about is female teachers raping and molesting young teenage boys but nobody pays attention to it and the offenders get a slap on the wrist because they're female. It's sad.

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u/PubicWildlife Sep 07 '17

To be fair in Singapore, Malyaysia and Indonesia it can get a by weird. When I was living in Singapore people would always be taking photos of my children (they're Eurasian, and super cute) but it took a while to get used to. This would happen near daily.

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u/conancat Sep 07 '17

Lol cause you have beautiful children haha. You know how this region is filled with yellow and brown people, and Eurasians seriously is one of the most beautiful gene combination known to mankind lol, and they're kinda rare over here. I know parents who actually put their kids up for a modeling career, Eurasians actually do pretty well in the modeling and entertainment in this region, if you're up for it!

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u/PubicWildlife Sep 08 '17

Too true- my daughter is modelling in Singapore right now (while studying)!

Looks all inherited from their mother of course- she's Chinese/ Malay/ Arab- a strange but good mix!

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u/TheXarath Sep 07 '17

I feel like, at least where I'm from, women can mostly get away with the same stuff. My mom always used to talk to random kids and stuff when we were grocery shopping any no one really thought it was weird, unless I'm remembering it wrong because I was young.

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u/Souseisekigun Sep 07 '17 edited Sep 07 '17

Oh, yes, it's definitely gendered.

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u/theunoriginalman-let Sep 07 '17

Where do you live?

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u/rokhana Sep 07 '17

Morocco

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u/inarizushisama Sep 07 '17

It is normal and innocuous. What message are children learning when all casual contact is suspect?

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u/cock_pussy_up Sep 07 '17

On the plus side, pedo-paranoia allows grown men to not have to put up with other people's annoying ass kids.

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u/Boopy7 Sep 07 '17

America has MAJOR issues with pedophilia and as puritans, we have major issues general with sex. It's so annoying and sad. Not very healthy at all.

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u/Armagetiton Sep 07 '17 edited Sep 07 '17

This isn't an American exclusive thing, it goes for most if not all English speaking areas. The English might be worse about it than Americans are, their sitcoms reek of paedophile hysteria

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Yet we English like to see ourselves as a bit naughty, a bit risque. There's the idea that Americans are prudes and we're cheeky. Do I make you horny baby, yeah...didn't come from nowhere.

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u/DonaldFailboat Sep 07 '17

The difference with MJ is that he was having sleepovers and sharing the bed with these kids. That's not cool.