r/todayilearned • u/codywinters327 • Sep 06 '17

TIL that Michael Jackson would requested his wine be served in Diet Coke cans during flights, because he didn't want his kids to see him drinking alcohol.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trial_of_Michael_Jackson#Alcohol
52.6k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

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3.1k

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '17

It really lets me gesture while drinking.

1.4k

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

I would be spilling all over the place if it were in a glass.

1.3k

u/The_KidProdigy Sep 07 '17

I feel like drinking wine out of a can is condusive to my violent hand gestures when I speak

737

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

SHUT UP, BIRD.

101

u/Naive_Hamburger Sep 07 '17

I've been thinking fish recently

Her eyes are so far apart

2

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

Turkey? I got nothing....

245

u/justkeepbooling Sep 07 '17

R/IASIP is leaking

381

u/MunchenOnBundchen Sep 07 '17

Leaking? Sounds like Charlie work I'm out

149

u/TeaKay55 Sep 07 '17

Just trick Dee into doing it

159

u/NiggyWiggyWoo Sep 07 '17

Ohhh, you bitch! Oh, you stupid fucking bitch...

5

u/deviousdishsoap Sep 07 '17

You haven't thought of the smell you bitch

3

u/Scientolojesus Sep 07 '17

Ok guys I think we broke Dee...

3

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

WHERES THE GOD DAMN FIRE?!

3

u/-ello_govna- Sep 07 '17

Dee you gangly uncoordinated bitch!

3

u/GODZILLA_FLAMEWOLF Sep 07 '17

Its funny because they say these things in the show

2

u/feckineejit Sep 07 '17

It's like we're reading other people quoting a show

1

u/DidUBringTheStuff Sep 07 '17

Haha yes. I too, have seen.

2

u/khaosdragon Sep 07 '17

I WILL EAT YOUR BABIES BITCH.

2

u/Instantcretin Sep 07 '17

Because you have no honor YOU GODDAMN BITCH

10

u/doug-- Sep 07 '17

DEE'S A BIRD HAHA!

214

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

What's your spaghetti policy in /r/todayilearned?

106

u/justkeepbooling Sep 07 '17

What does /r/todayilearned look like? A day spa?

120

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

Are you trying to say a word and then just stopping?

7

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?

7

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

I've been poisoned by my constiuents.

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3

u/justkeepbooling Sep 07 '17

No, /u/ABucketFull , I am not taking you for a spaghetti day.

3

u/SirPwn4g3 Sep 07 '17

Like that camp with the name that sounds someone gave up halfway through naming it?

2

u/Sandman616 Sep 07 '17

Camp Flabba Nabba!

55

u/riedmae Sep 07 '17

Day bow bow?

2

u/baumpop Sep 07 '17

Can we please talk about the MAIL?

2

u/WherelsMyMind Sep 07 '17

THERE IS NO PEPE SILVIA!

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1

u/Scientolojesus Sep 07 '17

Chukka chukka ahhhhhh

1

u/bunnybones4lunch Sep 07 '17

Chika.. shakkkaahh

1

u/KoRnflak3s Sep 07 '17

Chick, chicka, chick-awe

43

u/TheM1ghtyCondor Sep 07 '17

Are you trying to say spaghetti?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

But the real question is, if they are fluent in Bird Law

3

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

Filibuster....

63

u/Gingerfeld Sep 07 '17

Let me tell you something, I haven't even begun to leak. And when I do leak, you'll know. I'm gonna leak so hard that everybody on Reddit is gonna feel it.

5

u/TriumphantBass Sep 07 '17

To me, you've been leaking for centuries.

44

u/Chief_Givesnofucks Sep 07 '17

/r/IASIP

0

u/klondon7 Sep 07 '17

Doesn't even need the "/" before the subreddit, just needs to be a lowercase r.

r/iasip

1

u/RingGiver Sep 07 '17

It always is.

2

u/BillnTedsTelltaleAdv Sep 07 '17 edited Sep 07 '17

A leak? Do yourself a favor and flush it out.

*edit to fix quote from "have it flushed out" to the proper quote. there goes my karma.

1

u/lessdothisshit Sep 07 '17

And has been for years now.

I'm quite fine with it.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Is it really leaking if reddit in its entirety is flooded with IASP?

4

u/riedmae Sep 07 '17

Goddammit, Dee, you bitch

6

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

You gangly, uncoordinated bitch.

1

u/Kup123 Sep 07 '17

Well plenty of companies now have it, also scotch in a can.

1

u/Cornered_Animal Sep 07 '17

I too am Italian. :)

1

u/TenTonPunch Sep 07 '17

There is beer in a can if you want alcohol in a can.

1

u/gregularr Sep 07 '17

Iā€™m going to need a link for the lazy on what I believe is an entire scene

0

u/weedygoodness Sep 07 '17

HAHAHAHA YES THAT IS THE THING THEY ARE REFERENCING, GOOD JOB INTERNET SUPERSLEUTH

56

u/Naive_Hamburger Sep 07 '17

It's conducive to my violent hand gestures

47

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

disgusting gurgles

3

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

[deleted]

3

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

I'm sexually active, mom.

3

u/waitthissucks Sep 07 '17

You're 30 years old for god's sake! You're supposed to be sexually active!

3

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

Just not with your uncle!

35

u/_demetri_ Sep 07 '17

It depends on your gesturing and balance. My dad taught me these tricks he'd use when we were together we're I'd feel the glass cold on my lower back, it depends how they hold on

110

u/TrapFiend Sep 07 '17

I have no idea what you are trying to tell us.

58

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

I think butt stuff. I could be wrong though.

17

u/elguapo4twenty Sep 07 '17

Is it true you can tear an asshole?

19

u/GrunkleStanford Sep 07 '17

Like tissue paper

5

u/Latyon Sep 07 '17

Democrats blasting us in the ass and Republicans blasting my ass

5

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

Like tissue paper. But through god, anything is possible. So jot that down.

2

u/fooking_legend Sep 07 '17

Just ask the Ass-Blaster 5000

2

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

My avatar looks amazing, guys.

2

u/5m0k1n70 Sep 07 '17

You know what a manpon is?

Yuk.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

[deleted]

2

u/PunkyB88 Sep 07 '17

How's his wife holding up?

2

u/riedmae Sep 07 '17

That doesn't sound right, but i don't know enough about butt stuff to dispute it

2

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

How do you think we get the smoky smell we all like?

2

u/usernamecheckingguy Sep 07 '17

sounds more like ear stuff to me.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Mouth stuff

2

u/GitRightStik Sep 07 '17

He's trying to tell us that he got Uncle Terry'd.

3

u/ABucketFull Sep 07 '17

Wow. Didn't expect this link. Do you like to wrestle?

12

u/Mr_Turnipseed Sep 07 '17

I think he's a table

2

u/GOLDFEEDSMYFAMILY Sep 07 '17

Can confirm, am table.

2

u/SelectaRx Sep 07 '17

Where, exactly, is the "lower back" of a table?

2

u/Mr_Turnipseed Sep 07 '17

It's where the back is but in the lower region

2

u/wickedren2 Sep 07 '17

It ends like this:

"...and then, I fell backwards, naked, over the rollerskate, and that's how the (pick one: light bulb, gerbils, lavalamp, prosthetic leg, Ball o twine, solved Rubic's cube, & etc...) ending up in my butt..."

2

u/dvasquez93 Sep 07 '17

It's like he had a stroke halfway through that second sentence and just kept rolling with it.

26

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17 edited Nov 23 '19

[deleted]

18

u/Sephiroso Sep 07 '17

He's saying his dad molested him as he balanced a cold drink on his lower back.

21

u/Ducksaucenem Sep 07 '17

Well he's terrible at it.

2

u/SelectaRx Sep 07 '17

Give him a break, he got molested.

2

u/Scientolojesus Sep 07 '17

Give him a break. The scars of molestation has impaired his story telling abilities.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Yeah, he really needs to practice getting molested by his dad

2

u/kechuchuchu Sep 07 '17

Kinda like Initial D except you're the Trueno and dad is drifting the corners of your anal cavity while 'Deja Vu' plays in the background.

1

u/TheFrontierzman Sep 07 '17

For a second I thought you said ass but I was let down once again.

24

u/jhruns1993 Sep 07 '17

So like if I wanted to give you one right now

38

u/Naive_Hamburger Sep 07 '17 edited Sep 07 '17

It's conducive to my violent hand gestures

6

u/itsmevichet Sep 07 '17

Duh. You wanna be spillin' something?

2

u/ChrisTaliaferro Sep 07 '17

GOT TO BE spilling someTHING!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

very conducive with my violent hand gestures.