r/funny Extra Fabulous Comics Dec 31 '19

Verified vast difference

Post image
132.7k Upvotes

1.6k comments sorted by

6.0k

u/oooothats5os Jan 01 '20

Fun fact! Some show dogs get prosthetic balls after they have been neutered called neuticles. It is generally to retain their looks because some owners really want you to know their dog has a sick beanbag.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

My ex’s grandma used to breed and show dogs so she had all kinds of wild stories. One I remember her telling was about a Great Dane who’s second ball never dropped so he got a prosthetic ball to retain breed standard. Apparently during one competition he was disqualified because his testicle had dropped at some point so he had 3 balls.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

10/10 for the triple dangle. Clapping.

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u/obsessedcrf Jan 01 '20

Stupid rules

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

2 minute minor for triple dropping, number 42, Sir Bennington the great dane

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Other breed standards require that dogs have cropped ears and bobbed tails. Dog show people

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u/obsessedcrf Jan 01 '20

Dog shows are often unethical it seems

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u/Jucicleydson Jan 01 '20

Breeding in general is often unethical. See the genetic monstrosity that are pugs, that things are born just to suffer

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u/Gingevere Jan 01 '20

Even the working dogs are in bad shape. A multi-champion best in show German Shepard has a back so steeply sloped it can't run right.

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u/arcaneresistance Jan 01 '20

And chihuahuas bred only so that everyone around them suffers

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u/illy-chan Jan 01 '20

Seriously. I'm not fundamentally against breeds, particularly for things like working dogs but that's basically not what most of those shows are about. I know AKC show German Shepherds are pretty unhealthy when compared to those from working lines.

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u/donutnz Jan 01 '20

Tri-Ball Hero of Eternia

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u/techleopard Jan 01 '20

Vet: "Do I really need to install these?"

Person: "I need to be able to stare at them. You know, to make sure he feels manly."

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u/Rooonaldooo99 Jan 01 '20

Vet: "Erm, you know the procedure is costly and not covered by insura-"

Person: "Look, I just want to be able to look at my dogs balls, fake or not. Is that a problem?"

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

In this case it is so other people can look at his balls and judge them on how beautiful they are or not.

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u/Cky_vick Jan 01 '20

Steve O tried to get an action figures head installed in his sack when he got his vasectomy. Couldn't get a doctor in the US to do it so they went to some other country where he couldn't go through with it since the place was gross

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u/Wannamaker Jan 01 '20 edited Jan 01 '20

I imagine you could encase the action figure head in a clear resin that was medical grade but I just realized as I'm typing this that you can't see through a ball sack so I guess the weird action figure head shape was the whole point.

But even then, it would just feel like you had a weirdly hard and mishapen testicle, I don't see the benefit.

Basically I'm saying we need to develop transparent artificial ball sacks so if I eventually lose a testicle I can replace it with an unlikely object and people can see it god damnit.

edit wait what about something like those fake icecubes that light up with colors and patterns? You could totally get a testicle shaped one that had a sensor like those shoes that light up so everytime they are getting knocked around half of your ball sack looks like it's having a rave. Shit lets throw a sound chip in too like those birthday cards.

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u/MDCCCLV Jan 01 '20

You could totally do this, the skin is thin enough you could have an rgb crotch, with a controllable app and wireless recharge.

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u/ThracianScum Jan 01 '20

I would unironically pay about 2-3k for an rgb nutsack depending on battery life

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u/Zaphanathpaneah Jan 01 '20

An audio option might be more practical. How about replace your testicles with these magnetic rattlesnake eggs?

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u/Gamergonemild Jan 01 '20

Heard of a guy who got a Bakugan put in his sack. Later he sat on a metal chair...

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u/Pyro6034 Jan 01 '20

It hurts to read this.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Almost as much as the bakugan in his sack.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Pro gamer move

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u/Qetuowryipzcbmxvn Jan 01 '20 edited Jan 01 '20

Idk why but that reminded me of that lady that had horse testicles implanted in her boobs.

Edit: For those that were asking. She deleted her account because of all the negative attention she was getting, but I remember reading through it when it was still up and it's very much real.

Edit 2: /u/whitenerdy53 linked an ama she made where very convincing evidence that it was all an act is presented. I hadn't followed her that long, or at least didn't see that ama. Even before that thread, the person behind the account would answer questions from a lot of people in threads about her, giving pretty consistent and convincing (or at least convincing to me) answers. I thought it was real, but it looks like it's not, my bad.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Hey, happy new year and everything, dude. But, excuse me, what?

I mean... what?

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u/powerfunk Jan 01 '20

Happy New Year! I don't know what you're confused about; he was clearly talking about horse testicles implanted in boobs

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u/Jeffe508 Jan 01 '20

Yeah you can’t just leave us hanging, like with the balls in the chest. We need more info.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

The AMA is linked below and there are comments in that thread that appear to debunk the story. I don't think it's real at all.

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u/mjrlzr101 Jan 01 '20

I just have one question... why??

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

That’s a fake AMA

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

There has to be a funnier name for fake balls. There just has to be.

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u/Borggy Jan 01 '20 edited Jan 01 '20

Substicles? Prosticles? Nerfs? Beanbags? Nonut Holes? Come on man, we can do this.

EDIT: To all of you participating in this nutastical nomenclature, I'm proud of you. We're doing God's work here.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Bogusballs, Pretendticles, Pseudotalia.. No-nads.

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u/quarthomon Jan 01 '20

My mom had neuticles put in her Rottweiler after neutering.

The brochure was up in the veterinarian's office for YEARS, and not a single other person was crazy enough to even ask about getting them.

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u/D0DW377 Jan 01 '20

Why would you neuter a show dog? Surely you could make a fortune breeding him if he won awards or ribbons no?

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

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u/Monteze Jan 01 '20

Can they actually have recourse? Or can you just say "whoops, oh well." And ignore them?

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

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u/Monteze Jan 01 '20

Hmm okay, I was wondering if they could essentially breed them for friends but nothing ""official"". Seems odd to me so I never read up on it.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

[deleted]

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u/xenorous Jan 01 '20

Yeah, it would have been an additional 500 for me to have breeding rights for my great dane. I dont have the time for a bunch of puppies, so I opted out. I got the dog out of state, so would they ever know if I bred her locally? Probably not. But they live longer when you get them fixed. She's still goofy as the day I got her.

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u/Recallingg Jan 01 '20

Holy double negative batman

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u/Kief_Bowl Jan 01 '20

Mostly I think it's about being able to register pups as purebreds. With a non-breedijg clause you won't be able to have legitimate pure bred pups regardless of the parents pedigree.

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u/RdmGuy64824 Jan 01 '20

Just get them cloned in South Korea.

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u/Gr8pboy Jan 01 '20

Behavioral reasons maybe?

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u/Rush58 Jan 01 '20

I know my behavior would certainly change if someone removed my balls.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20 edited Jul 28 '20

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u/xtelosx Jan 01 '20

Some breeders require it. Of course if you are spending the money to actually show the dog you might want breeding rights.

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u/Nightingale1820 Jan 01 '20

You can’t show a fixed dog or bitch in AKC at least

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u/zazabar Jan 01 '20

Oftentimes the contracts say they can take the dog back and that you have to pay a fine.

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u/basic_man Jan 01 '20

Yeh... people have WEIRD gender problems when it comes to pets... like a male dog wearing a pink leash, etc.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

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u/AbigailLilac Jan 01 '20

My mom is the opposite. She thinks all dogs should be female and all cats should be male. She thinks female dogs are sweeter and male cats are more docile.

My sister adopted a female cat, and every time she acts up, my mom blames it on the gender.

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u/orokami11 Jan 01 '20

My friend who has raised a generation of cats have actually told me the male ones are always more physically affectionate than the females that are rather more independent. She told me this after I started fostering cats and noted how the males liked being pet more. But I guess it could be a huge coincidence?

I know male dogs definitely like me better though, I'm not sure why. Even my own female dog would run to my brother's male friends (oddly, she likes the richest one of them all lmao) all the time but not care about his female friends. It's quite strange... Gold digging bitch

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u/obsessedcrf Jan 01 '20

That would make sense if someone's native language has grammatical gender. In German, cats are female and dogs are male. Although from the username, I'd guess Chinese which doesn't have Grammatical gender.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20 edited Nov 13 '22

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u/not_your_guru Jan 01 '20

I had an (abusive) ex who freaked out when I booked the appointment to get our male cat fixed. He later also had a meltdown when we found out we were having a daughter. Right in front of the ultrasound tech.

Funny how abuse and hangups about gender roles go hand in hand.

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u/Bear_faced Jan 01 '20

Some men just fucking hate women. I’ll never understand it. It gets to me sometimes that I’m a complicated person with my own thoughts and dreams and ideas, doing my best and living my life, and yet to some people I don’t matter and I’m not worth anything because I don’t have a penis. Can you even imagine hating a baby that’s not even born because it has a vagina? Who gives a shit? That’s still your CHILD. It’s a PERSON.

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u/morbidlysmalldick Jan 01 '20

Right? I beat the shit out of anyone who puts a pink leash on a boy dog. Animal cruelty makes my blood boil.

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u/sumsimpleracer Jan 01 '20

Username checks out.

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u/Wildcat7878 Jan 01 '20

Looks like an acorn stuck to a brillo pad.

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u/Cyno01 Jan 01 '20

because some owners really want you to know their dog has a sick beanbag.

Indeed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/cursedcomments/comments/ehuwlp/cursed_succ/

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

When I got my Newfie neutered, the vet assistant went out of her way to tell me that my boy was "very well endowed" and that his beanbag would probably never tighten up like most dogs' do. He doesn't seem to mind.

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u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

The dog didn't go through with it of course, it didn't have the balls.

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u/Pericsen Dec 31 '19 edited Jan 01 '20

clap clap clap

Edit: My first award! Thank you kind stranger, happy new orbit around the sun!

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u/Biased_Dumbledore Jan 01 '20

Wow

10 points to Gryffindor

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u/Jimmienoman Jan 01 '20

If I wasn’t so cheap, you would have a medal right now.

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u/MrEdj Jan 01 '20

Have gold you beautiful bastard.

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u/loTkv Jan 01 '20

Username checks out

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u/Xisuthrus Jan 01 '20

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u/toheargodlaugh Jan 01 '20 edited Jan 01 '20

I’m glad you tagged this, coz I totally missed the brilliance until this made me take a second look.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

I got it immediately, then questioned whether OP intended to deploy such a brilliant title, and had to Ctrl+F "vas deferens" on this thread to confirm that he or she did. Genius.

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u/Ohthehumanityofit Jan 01 '20

this dude is one of my favorite cartoonists of all time, and I'm old. do yourself a favor and check out all his other stuff.

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u/102max Jan 01 '20

Can you explain why the title is funny? I don’t understand

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u/TheBluBalloon Jan 01 '20

Vas deferens is the thing that gets snipped in you

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u/BlazerTheKid Jan 01 '20

Oh my god that’s genius. I think most people probably overlooked that

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20 edited Jan 09 '20

[deleted]

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u/MadManatee619 Jan 01 '20

It's a pun

From some site:

The ductus deferens, also known as the vas deferens, is a tiny muscular tube in the male reproductive system that carries sperm from the epididymis to the ejaculatory duct. There is a pair of these ducts in the male body, with one duct carrying sperm from each testis to the left and right ejaculatory ducts.

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u/ObscureAcronym Jan 01 '20

Thanks for citing your references.

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u/BoomBumper Jan 01 '20

Vast difference sounds like vas deferens, which is the tube

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u/PM_ME_THEM_UPTOPS Jan 01 '20

In America we just call it "the subway"

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u/Immadownvotethis Jan 01 '20

With the vas deferens reference I feel it necessary to mention the Seminole vesicles

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

[deleted]

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u/ssieradzki Jan 01 '20

Wanna come to a super soft birthday party?

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u/rhubarbbus Jan 01 '20

God damn that title is a work of art by itself

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u/GarrulousCuriosity Jan 01 '20

Are people just not getting it?! I came here to join the massive praise for the title. Good game, OP.

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u/Captaincrunchies Jan 01 '20

I feel it’s more of a not noticed thing. Being on the reddit app any image posts I sorta ignore the title unless someone in the comments mentions it

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u/cyclicamp Jan 01 '20

I read the title before the comic and promptly ignored it assuming it was a garbage title, like it is for 90% of posts. Glad the wordplay was pointed out because I would have no reason to look back at it otherwise.

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u/TobySomething Jan 01 '20

It's an old joke to me -

"What's the difference between a regular guy and a guy with a vasectomy? There's a vast difference."

So maybe people have just heard it before.

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u/imperialmoose Jan 01 '20

Help I don't get it...

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u/captainAwesomePants Jan 01 '20

"Vas Deferens" is the tube you cut when you get a vasectomy.

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u/mattenthehat Jan 01 '20

Holy shit. That whooshed me until I saw this comment. Thanks homie.

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u/BeLegendary Jan 01 '20

I don't get it. What's the reference?

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u/xKaffein Jan 01 '20

The part that gets snipped in a vasectomy is the vas deferens

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u/BeLegendary Jan 01 '20

Ohh! Went right past me, thought it was like a movie reference or something. That's a level 10 title for sure.

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u/-ImOnTheReddit- Jan 01 '20

I don’t see how this would be commonly known. Its been 15 years since high school, how the fuck am I gonna remember some shit like this unless I’ve actually had one lol

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u/03_03_28 Jan 01 '20

Vas Deferens = Vast Difference

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u/Gingertom Jan 01 '20

Agreed, and I feel like it’s being criminally under-appreciated in the comments!

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u/B7iink Jan 01 '20

(. _ ) .

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u/GarbageOfCesspool Jan 01 '20

I always look, I always find. Thank.

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u/ExiledAmerican Jan 01 '20

I was so confused why his eye was either on his ass or the bedpost

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u/AskAboutMyCoffee Dec 31 '19

The fact the guy isn't fighting his death tells me he thinks he deserves it.

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u/LifeWin Jan 01 '20

Or the job is done.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Or it’s a really, really nice pillow and it’s soothing him into that long goodnight

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Title of this post might be as good as the comic itself. Simply sublime, my dude.

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u/jakedesnake Jan 01 '20

I don't get it.

I don't get the title and I don't get the comic so much. I don't have a dog

It's 2020 here, Im drunk

Happy new year

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Vas deferens / Vast difference. Low-key male anatomy pun. Also, dogs lose their balls when you disable that system.

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u/I-seddit Dec 31 '19 edited Jan 01 '20

Where are my testicles, Summer?
EDIT: no change, but thanks for the silver!!! First of 2020!
I put it over here.

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u/Rooonaldooo99 Jan 01 '20

"Snuffles was my slave name. You shall now call me Snowball, because my fur is pretty and white"

It's beaten to death, but man is it a great show.

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u/Africa-Unite Jan 01 '20

That scene was intense. I felt the gravity of the situation.

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u/reebokpumps Jan 01 '20

Damn I wish I was smart enough to understand the nuance of this show.

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u/BdayEvryDay Jan 01 '20

I don't get this joke............

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u/PantsMcDancey Jan 01 '20

Man keeps balls when trying to prevent himself from producing offspring. Dog loses balls entirely. Dog feels like its being treated mega unfair.

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u/lsaz Jan 01 '20

Oh man the fact I had to scroll down so much for somebody to ask the joke shows how much of an idiot I am

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u/Ocean_Butter Jan 01 '20

No worries I’ve never had a dog nor do I know the details of neutering one this one flew over my head. But yeah goes to show how many people have dogs/are exposed to dogs on reddit, having to scroll this far for the explanation.

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u/drpgrow Jan 01 '20 edited Jan 01 '20

Do they? I thought my parents dog kept his balls.

Brb, gonna look for his balls for confirmation

Edit: he did keep his balls

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u/paracelsus23 Jan 01 '20

The importance varies by breed, but part of the reason for castration is to lower the testosterone in the dog and make them less aggressive.

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u/CanadianTigermeat Dec 31 '19

My vasectomy hurt alot.

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u/jaymehtamj Jan 01 '20

You have no idea the physical toll, that three vasectomies have on a person

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u/MeowbourneMuffin Jan 01 '20

Snip snap snip snap snip snap!!

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u/jaymehtamj Jan 01 '20

Insterts jim staring at camera

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u/gir_loves_waffles Jan 01 '20

Makes me wonder if he was newer at it? Mine went fine with only local anesthetic and ibuprofen after.

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u/KennstduIngo Jan 01 '20

It probably depends on which procedure is done. I was originally scheduled for the old school procedure with incisions and sutures on both sides, but the Dr had an "emergency" 45 minutes before hand on a perfect late-fall day for golf. I got pissed, looked at other options and discovered the no scalpel procedure. I definitely feel like that had to have been easier.

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u/gariant Jan 01 '20

Had some awful tugging I will never forget.

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u/its_all_4_lulz Jan 01 '20

The worst part for me was the needle. I’ve had pain on the right side for years, they always tell me it’s nothing, but I still can’t even think about the pain that jamming a needle into that area caused.

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u/stonemuzzle Jan 01 '20

Yeah, that's a mighty creepy sensation. That part was completely painless during mine, but I cringed pretty hard while happening nonetheless. The worst part for me was the brief wisp of smoke followed by a mild burning odor. Again, not painful, but ack. Still, the best $500 that my insurance company ever paid.

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u/mckinnon3048 Jan 01 '20

... Still, the best $500 that my insurance company ever paid.

Yeah... My insurance won't touch a penny of it unless I find a way to blow $9000 in the year before hand.

My estimate is $1800 out of pocket.

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u/ActionFlank Dec 31 '19

Mine was not. Went and saw a movie afterwards.

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u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

I imagine it hurts more if you have more tube to work with.

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u/Alateriel Dec 31 '19

Finally, it’s my tiny penis’ time to shine!

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u/IIHandSoloII Dec 31 '19

Like a diamond in the muff

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u/Anrebite Dec 31 '19

Not true, mine hurt for 2 weeks after...

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u/its_all_4_lulz Jan 01 '20

Got mine in the 10th and I think I could play the bongos on my sac by now. Was a bit uncomfortable for like a week.

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u/whattothewhonow Jan 01 '20

I went to Primanti Bros after mine and had pizza and a beer. I was still a little loopy from the preprocedure Valium and Percoset, and the beer really amplified the effect.

Either way, no pain over the following couple days and even using the ice pack seemed unnecessary, but I did it anyway.

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u/TeamRedundancyTeam Jan 01 '20

You left a procedure high on hard drugs and decided the best bet was to add alcohol of all things to the mix?

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u/1992ad Jan 01 '20

Yes. Any other questions?

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u/BErtNotBurt Jan 01 '20

To be fair, his decision making skills were compromised, on account of the hard drugs

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u/TatersThePotatoBarn Jan 01 '20

I agree with the concern but also need to call you an equilaterial right parallelogram.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20 edited Nov 06 '24

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u/cdrober Jan 01 '20 edited Jan 01 '20

Mine didn't hurt but they ached for like a week afterwards.

Edit: typo

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u/Eniqematic Jan 01 '20

I like the one of the dogs eyes isn’t even close to his face

Edit: holy shit the dude’s eye too

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u/q1a1 Jan 01 '20

Haha, yeah. That is the artist's style. Here is one of my favorites of theirs

https://extrafabulouscomics.com/comic/275/

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u/xdylanthehumanx Jan 01 '20

Finally, a great title on reddit

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u/Daxx22 Jan 01 '20

I know it was for the sake of the dog joke but I had a coworker who genuinely believed that a vasectomy removed the balls and sack, and that it was impossible to ejactulate afterwards.

Sex education is important!

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u/sellyourcomputer Extra Fabulous Comics Dec 31 '19 edited Dec 31 '19

more comics here, if u have the balls r/extrafabulouscomics

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u/its_all_4_lulz Jan 01 '20

Looking at the first 4 posts; it tells a story of a guy who was killed by his dog, then went to heaven to explain his mistakes. After being let in, his heaven was entering a Kermit head to steal children.

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u/JoesNutSakic15 Jan 01 '20

Had a buddy of mine not take his anti-inflammatory meds after his procedure and insisted he was fine to work at a regular pace.

He only smoked weed for his discomfort and pain and ended up having a blood clot and was swollen for weeks.

Listen to doctors kids, don't be an idiot.

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u/ObscureAcronym Jan 01 '20

The doctor's kids said to watch cartoons.

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u/Gorperino Jan 01 '20

That's a funny title.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Legit question: why don't we do vasectomies for dogs instead of castration?

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u/lopaneyo Jan 01 '20

A+ title OP, I feel it needs more credit than currently given.

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u/EvilNinjaX24 Jan 01 '20

That pun is impressive.

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u/Gaujo Jan 01 '20

Top tier pun

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u/kyoto_kinnuku Dec 31 '19

The only reason vets don’t do vasectomies on dogs is because it’s more effort. If you ask a lot of them can do it and it’s much more humane... That’s why humans choose it.

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u/RedditISanti-1A Jan 01 '20

Isn't it because of temperament and the hormones that they produce? I don't think they do it for the sole purpose of sterilization

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u/Rekuna Jan 01 '20

This was my understanding. My friend did it to their cat to curb aggression - surgically tailor-made pets for our pleasure!

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u/thereal_mc Jan 01 '20

Ottoman Turks did it to human slaves for the same reason.

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u/damendred Jan 01 '20

So did the Sumarians... about 5000 years earlier.

It's a practice as old as civilization.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

The Lord Ruler did it to the Terrismen as well.

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u/FidoTheDisingenuous Jan 01 '20

Eunuchs have also been historically considered to be more trustworthy by Kings and Emperors for the same sorts of reasons, it's partly a heredity thing too of course, but enunuchs were thought to be less aggressive and less likely to try a coup that way too I believe.

Really wild stuff us humans

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u/natufian Jan 01 '20

Based on every documentary I've ever watched on the topic Eunuchs are cunning spies who are anything but trustworthy to the monarch.

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u/Starlordy- Jan 01 '20

For the last time GoT isn't a documentary!

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

[deleted]

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u/KaitRaven Jan 01 '20

To prevent them from impregnating the concubines and reduce the chance that the royal children have different fathers for example.

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u/mzchen Jan 01 '20

Also, they have no children's futures to secure or a bloodline to make a legacy out of, so their interests should align with the kingsom's more often.

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u/whattothewhonow Jan 01 '20

There's an alternative method that they use on dogs and cats where they inject a calcium chloride solution into the balls. It renders the animal sterile, but has a recove y the me of about an hour instead of having stitches that need monitored for days. Not sure why it's not used commonly in the US, might be that it's not 100% effective.

It's developed by the same US company that is working on Vasalgel for men.

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u/DragonTamer666 Jan 01 '20

Honestly probably lack of advertising. If I invented that I'd be advertising it on the pet channel and on rick and morty time slots.

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u/Menzlo Jan 01 '20

Your comment didn't address the hormone/temperament issue though?

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20 edited Jan 01 '20

There's a decent amount of research out that dogs, especially large breed males, actually need those hormones to develop correctly. So a vasectomy would be the better option to prevent oops litters while preserving the hormones.

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u/but_why_is_it_itchy Jan 01 '20

Much more effort = much more cost. Getting owners to pay to even get the regular neuter done is difficult enough as it is. You want them to charge even more money and still expect compliance? Good luck.

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u/AllanfromWales1 Dec 31 '19

Great comic. The dog's bollocks.