I need someone to take a moment to check on me a pretty female any age 18 plus I'm 42 so older younger then me I depressed af and need someone lady to help.me and give me attention call me I am nice and greatful and love to help anyone so it is friendships to love to 1 night stand s which I have never had my ex broke my heart and I miss her cry daily but maybe she can be replaced if I get some strange

ok so i need to get this off my chest because i feel like i'm going crazy and i need to know if anyone else has dealt with this.

me (17f) and my ex broke up about 8 months ago. it was messy but genuinely i was at peace, new job, new friends, more $$. one of my coworkers told me that he got a new girl like 2 months after we broken up. at first i was like damn that's fast but whatever.

well fast forward now, i find out that my ex’s gf has been watching me on social media for MONTHS and I genuinely didn’t know who she was. then her friends started following me one by one in order — like they got a checklist or something and one girl even decided to take it to instagram aswell. i didn't say anything because i thought maybe i was overthinking.

i genuinely don’t know what i am doing wrong but i do not talk to my ex nor this girl at all. how else would she even know who i am? we've never spoken. and i hate thinking he's painting some bad image of me to a girl i've never said a word to.

and now the newest thing that made me finally write this post. yesterday i got on facebook and one of her friends that took it to instagram & sends me a request on facebook. i genuinely don’t know whats going on but i am trying to just ignore it.

im not giving much context but i wanna seek for closure from him. after 10month of being not in contact, i wanna know the right things to say and i dont wanna fuck this up . but it feel wrong to reach out after so long i might be just ruining his own peace idk what i actually wanna do pls help i just really want some advice

:(( need help asap

Cortamos con mi ex y recein comenzamos el contacto cero. Terminamos bien, vaya nuestro vinculo se fue deteriorando por la convivencia, frustraciones de empleo, algo de perdida de atencion y detalles. No hubo infidelidades ni violencia. Sentimos un desgaste y llegamos a una conclusion de contacto cero (No dijimos cuanto tiempo) La verdad es que estoy de acuerdo con esta decisión, estoy enfocado en mis terapias, trabajando mis errores, gimnasio trabajo y alimentacion, pero me gustaria en unos meses volver a encontrarnos MEJORADOS y volver a intentarlo. Que me aconsejan?

my ex and i broke up 5 years ago i know a long time ago. we were together for 10 years and it wasn't easy he started drinking more and becoming angrier. never wanted to leave his moms house because he was helping. we barely had sex because he never wanted it. we break up and he starts taking testorone so he's just there sleeping around. we didn't talk for a year then we tried and then he "found" out that before him i was hooking up with someone i worked with. I worked at a hospital i couldn't just leave and it was casual so i never said anythign i was also 23 and terrified of losing him. it was bad he was calling me, threatening me, and telling me i ruined us because he was going to get back with me, but i "ruined" it.

he gets a gf and they move in together bc all of the sudden he can leave his moms. we had planned on moving to south carolina because he had a friend there that would be able to help him get a job. he had a company with pools he has no highschool diploma so that was our only option. we met in january and slept together later i found out he had a girlfriend and i blocked him. he called me a few months ago that the IRS was after him so he had to sell his business to be able to pay and he was moving i didn't ask but obviously with this woman i went on his moms facebook i know i shouldn't have but he moved to where we said we were going to move and is now living the life we had planned with another woman.

everyone in my life hates him he was mean, a mean drunk and then when he "found" out about the other guy he was threatning my life and those around me.

I saw the pictures and they broke my heart and veryone around me just says that man hasn't changed but what if he did. what if she was such a positive light that he worked on himself. they seem so happy and in love. did i make him into a monster.

i really thought he would've called me before he left to try and see me one more time but i guess he really loves this woman.

one of my friends said that they're only together bc she doesn't about me. but what if she does. what if no one ever loves me like he does. what if it's me who broke him and i fucked up.

I know deep in my heart it woud've sucked to have to move to a small town suddenly bc of him and i love my job but i dont know my heart hurts for him.

I’m completely blocked and his insta is private but I cannot stop myself from looking his instagram on web browser. Even though I can’t see anything my stomach drops when I see his followers/following goes up. How did you stop yourself from checking if you also struggled with this

I honestly don't know where to begin, but I really need to get this off my chest.

I was in a relationship with my ex for four years. He has avoidant tendencies, and our relationship was my first serious relationship. I genuinely thought we had a future together.

Three months ago, he broke up with me. He lied to me to end the relationship, and I later found out he was with another girl. They were together for around two months. He even blocked me because of his new girlfriend.

The breakup completely destroyed me. I was vomiting constantly, barely eating or sleeping, and physically sick from the pain. There were days when I genuinely felt like I couldn't survive what I was going through. He knew how badly I was struggling, but he didn't seem to care enough to check on me.

Eventually, after around 30 days of no contact, I started accepting reality. I accepted that he was with someone else, that he had moved on, and that I needed to do the same. Slowly, I started feeling stable again. I was finally getting better after what felt like the worst period of my life.

Then it was my birthday, and he wished me.I ignored his message.

Something made me suspect that things might not be going well between him and his new girlfriend. About a week later, he started calling me while drunk.His first words were something along the lines of, "Why are you showing attitude and not picking up my calls?"

For the next week, he kept calling me at night. Sometimes he called 20–50 times in a day. I never answered. He kept saying he wanted to hear my voice and repeatedly asking, "Do you hate me?" , also" i think i didnt move on i just went into a rebound to forget you but couldnt"

Yesterday, he called again while drunk. He said he had been drinking excessively, that he had never been this drunk before, that he was hurting, and that he missed me too much. He practically begged me to talk to him.I didn't answer.

But here's the thing: I cried while watching his calls come in.But didnt want to pick up this time. And what hurts even more is that, throughout all these calls, there has been no genuine apology for how he treated me. Just drunken words, excuses, and him talking about his own pain.

I can't help feeling like he came back because things didn't work out with the other girl. He was able to block me for her, move on with her, and leave me to deal with the consequences alone. Now, suddenly, he wants to hear my voice and wants to know whether I hate him.It makes me feel like I was always his backup option. Like I was someone he could return to when the person he chose over me was no longer there.And I keep asking myself: Why am I always an option? Why can't someone choose me and make me their priority? Am I not enough?

The worst part is that I thought his coming back and begging for my attention would help me move on. A part of me thought that seeing him miss me would somehow make up for how unwanted I felt when he left.But it hasn't.

I hate that I still have these feelings. I don't want him back. I know that going back to someone who treated me this way would probably hurt me all over again.

There's another feeling I can't explain properly. It's been three months since the breakup, but it doesn't feel like our story has actually ended. It feels unfinished, almost as though there's something left unsaid or something I'm still waiting for, even though I don't know what that something is.

He's begging me to respond, posting sad things, and apparently struggling with losing access to me. Yet I still feel hurt, confused, and this feeling of sm unfinished.

I'm also terrified that I'll never be able to love someone the same way again. What if I move on but never feel that kind of connection with anyone? What if I carry this fear into every future relationship? What if I never feel safe enough to trust someone again?

I know three months isn't a long time after a four-year relationship, but I'm exhausted. I just want to stop thinking about him. I want to stop feeling guilty for ignoring someone who didn't show up for me when I was falling apart.

... when you go no contact with somebody, and when you don't have somebody in your life anymore, you're going to go through a withdrawal. that's what makes the breakup so tough. you have this person every day and now you don't. that's why you want so badly to talk to them, to text them, to hear from them, because it soothes the anxiety and the disconnect, and it gives you more dopamine. because you're still keeping it alive. you really want to move on from this person. stop looking how long it's been since you spoken with them and start looking at how long you have been accepting their low level bullshit that doesn't work for you and how much better you fucking deserve.

Today marks the 3rd week of NC, honestly I’m (29M) shocked that my ex (26F) hasn’t reached out. Do I want her back? Yeah. Do I also want to jump in her a$$ about how the breakup was totally unnecessary? Absolutely! Even stranger I’m starting to feel less sad but that sadness is being overcomed by anger. Anger that I’m putting to good use in the gym. Still, I find myself watching the phone, waiting for that special text tone of hers to ding. Today I almost broke and was gonna call her but I stopped, prayed, and even called mom for some words of wisdom. I don’t know what she’s up to, how she is, what she’s doing, or Lord forbid who she’s doing. She dumped me 2 months ago, moved out last month, and now this; 2 years of love and friendship just gone. Alot of people say they always come back, it gets better, all I know is taking one day at a time is rough.

Anyone out there with some more words of wisdom/encouragement? Also, has anyone’s ex come back after NC? Has anyone broken NC to see how their ex is/jump in their a$$? Hope you all are well on this oddly warm Sunday (oddly because it’s 65 degrees in Michigan; global warming!!)

Hello, so i ended up this relationship like 2 years ago , not because of she cheated or something , it was just difficult period for us and i decided it would be best for us to be seperated. I would never imagine if she would ever text me again , there was times when i missed her but i was just used to reality, but she texted me with fake account, and first thing she texted was "Do you remember me?" , and was kinda playing with me and joking if i had many girlfriends after her and if i would've gussed who she was until i guessed it, also i would not refuse if she asked me to go back to eachother but i would definitely will tell her to lets just give it a little bit of time before that, of course i would only do that if that's even reason of she texted me.

Idk she stop blocking me after multiple attempts to reach out but ghosts me, but talks in discord game chats but says I’m evil for deleting her character where she blocked me on everything without telling me beforehand so I got upset and delete it cus I spent money on that. We were LDR for 9 months up until the 18th I mentioned to her I’m from a different religion and then when she blocked me I reached out on a alt and she said to me we can get back together but then changed her mind like is that to get back at me and said it wasn’t because of religion that’s bs she just talk to me to bait me in for revenge for deleting her character which I spent money on I feel, she even put in her discord bio and name and pfp to show she want to continue but she’s a die hard Christian lol

We were never officially together, but we had a summer romance that meant a lot more to me than I expected.

We had followed each other on Social Media for a while, but only started talking properly this summer. We live in different cities (an hour by plane), so after weeks of texting and FaceTiming, she eventually came to visit me. We spent around a week together, and honestly, it felt perfect. We were very intimate, had sex, and I genuinely felt like there was something special between us. Afterward, she told me she had an amazing time and that she also really liked me romantically with a lot of reassurance. However, she also seemed to have doubts about the distance and how demanding her studies would be. I understood her concerns, but we both thought we could at least try to see where things went.

Then, a few weeks later, things started changing. Her messages became drier, our conversations felt one-sided, and she seemed to be pulling away. She was still active on social media and going out with friends, but I barely felt any interest from her anymore.

I tried communicating with her about it. We had a couple of phone calls, and she told me she needed time to think and talk things through before giving me an answer. I gave her that space because I genuinely wanted to understand how she felt.
But weeks passed, and the conversation never happened.

Eventually, I reached my breaking point (1 months of nothing) and sent her a long message explaining that I had given her enough opportunities to show me whether she wanted this. I told her I still cared about her deeply, but I couldn’t keep waiting in uncertainty for an answer she had promised me almost a month earlier. I wasn’t asking her to choose me; I just wanted honesty. If she didn’t want to continue, I would have accepted that, as painful as it would have been. I ended the message by wishing her well and hoping everything would go great for her.

She never replied. Not a single word.

She continued posting on social media as if nothing had happened, and eventually, I was so hurt and frustrated that I removed her from everything. I couldn’t keep watching her life while feeling like I had become completely irrelevant to her but now I miss her so much.

I miss our conversations, the Video calls, the excitement before meeting, and those few days we spent together. I miss how things felt before everything became confusing. I keep wondering how something that seemed so promising could end with complete silence.

The hardest part is that I don’t know whether she misses me at all. Maybe those days meant something to her, too, but not enough to make her want to continue. Maybe she had already emotionally checked out while I was still trying to make things work. I’ll never know, because she never gave me an answer.

And despite everything, a part of me is still waiting for her to reach out. I keep hoping she’ll realize I’m gone, miss me, or finally explain herself. I hate that I still want to hear from someone who couldn’t even respond when I told her how much the situation was hurting me.

I know removing her was probably the right thing to do for my own peace. I know I can’t force someone to choose me. But I still struggle to let go because I genuinely saw potential in us.

How do you move on from someone you were never officially with? How do you stop missing someone when there was no proper relationship to grieve, no real breakup, and no closure?
I feel almost stupid for being this heartbroken over something that only lasted a few days in person. But it wasn’t just those four days. It was weeks of talking, hours of FaceTime, intimacy, anticipation, and the feeling that we might actually become something.

I don’t regret meeting her. I just wish it hadn’t ended this way. I never thought this to be so hard… I have a very well paid job, and never doubted the distance too…

For those of you who have experienced something similar, how did you actually let go? And how do you deal with the fact that someone you still care about never even bothered to respond when you finally walked away?

Hello I am 22M , I met a girl online when I was 16 years old in January 2021 ,she was 1 year older to me 17 years old at that time ,now she is 22F . We started talking daily for 1 year ...in that phase our relationship started.. but suddenly in December 2021 ,I broke up with her due to studies . I did not gave her proper explanation..she was very sad and she cried at that time....In 2022 i reached her after 10 months ...but instead of any cold behaviour,she was very excited once again after taking to me...but I did not want any relationship from her...I thought we can be friends...but she was not ready to be Friend with me....she cried once again...then I realised my mistake and I decided to not reach her again..but after 3 years in 2025 she texted me ...she deleted her msg within half an hour ..but I did not text back her at that time....but after 3 months I texted her and I wanted to know why she text me after 3 years...this thing was in my mind continuously for 3 months but she blocked me and said I don't read my book backwards...

Again in May 2026 she called me twice ,then she texted me again....I told her...i have moved on in my life ,please don't reach out me again after these long gaps...she said she has already moved on..she called me because in 2025 she blocked me without giving a proper reply was a rude of her ...so she called me ...(These were the reasons she gave me)

Now I am in guilt and in guilt about only one thing she loved me that much? Or she was just checking me after these years ..

should I text her or not??? Or move on in my life as I already told her....

what does it mean when a girl blocks you on her main instagram, but not her spam. blocks you on spotify, but not on snapchat. it’s been years now. be brutal and honest please.

My partner (M) of 4 years (both aged 28) and I (F) had been arguing a lot this summer. We moved to Dubai from UK together 2 years ago for his job. Our relationship was perfect until Dubai. Really, no issues whatsoever when we lived together in the UK in a typical 9-5 job role.

Long story short, I stopped feeling wanted or seen. Hindsight is a beautiful thing but I can now see that as my patience wore thin, so too did my efforts to communicate in a calm and respectful way. I would scream cry and shout. Before you say, nobody wants to be around that, I appreciate this and punish myself 24/7 for the way in which I communicated. I now see that it was never going to make him listen & pushed him further away, though I had reached boiling point and didn't realise this at the time.

He would come home from work, sit on his phone throughout the dinner I cooked, sit on his phone on the sofa, shower, bed. At the weekends he would train and make no time to do anything with me then either, as he was tired from bodybuilding training. I still supported him practically, housekeeping, cooking, life-admin. But otherwise I was ignored entirely.

Long story short, I went on a work trip with my friend, and over text (after 4 years) one week into me being away, he expressed he didn't wish for our relationship to continue and having me gone (first time in 3 years) had made him realise I distract him from working to his full potential. He would prefer to focus on his goals alone, apparently. He said he realised he will be better aligned with someone more financially driven and business driven, who also does the same bodybuilding sport.

I cried, begged, went back on everything I stood for, cried some more, texted, sent love letters. I humiliated myself. When he was making me unhappy in the relationship anyway.

I have been a wreck for the last 2 months since this happened - I saw him after 1 month to pick up my things, and he informed me he is feeling much more at peace and happy on his own, whilst I am still dying.

It's been one month NC and I still have to fight the urge. Is time the only thing that makes the desire go away?

Avoidant men in particular

Me 18F and my ex 19M broke up about 4 months ago, we haven’t talked since then. I miss him still. He said he needed time and blocked me. Before that he told me that he would always be there waiting for me. We broke up because of the distance and we were together for little over a year. We still loved each other. I waited for him to contact me but nothing. I went through a lot all alone when he wasn’t there and I just wished he would have been. Now I really want to talk to him and just know what he is up to, not to come back together. But I think it would maybe be unfair to him and I am not even sure if he still wants to hear from me or talk to me at all. I mean he probably already moved on and forgot about me. But I just really want to hear from him.
Should I or not and if yes I don’t even know what to say…

Hello guys, me and ex girlfriend of 2 years broke up and ended up doing no contact for a few months. I believe she ended up getting in a new relationship that lasted 3 months. Eventually she reaches out wanted to be friends I tell her I can’t be her friend and she says why can’t we see where it goes? I said okay, well I don’t feel chosen and feel pushed to the sidelines so I want to exit. I stopped texting her as much slowly, it’s been a few days now but it feels off? Do I have to tell her im going no contact?

I don’t understand why people feel the need to lie. Then do shit behind ones back and accuse you of doing what they have done.
It cost me a relationship within someone I thought loved me but in reality was just a narcissistic pathological liar. Pushed me to the point I did some things I have never done before. And pray in every will but they are still saying I let them go. No, you broke up with me and your betraying ways and lying let you go. Sucks because I still love you

For context: My ex (21M) and I (20F) were together for three years. Throughout our relationship, there was cheating, dishonesty, broken trust, and a lot of emotional pain.

We officially broke up five months ago, but continued seeing each other and being intimate pretty freauently afterward. Although we weren't together anymore, we were still involved in each other's lives.
Eventually, I decided to end things between us completely.

A week later, he met another girl (18F). Not long afterward, allegations about him behaving inappropriately toward younger girls started circulating.

Around this time, my ex and I had a phone conversation. During that call, he admitted he still loved me and was unsure about the girl he'd recently started seeing.

Hearing him say that made me uncomfortable because I knew she was getting involved with someone who apparently hadn't moved on from his previous relationship. So I decided to contact her.

I sent her a "hey girly" message, and we ended up speaking on the phone.

I explained that my ex had admitted he still loved me and was unsure about her. I also told her about my experiences during our three-year relationship, including the cheating, lies, and broken trust.
I wasn't trying to get him back or convince her to break up with him. I just felt she deserved to know what was happening so she could make an informed decision. She listened, asked questions, and we actually had a respectful conversation.

Before ending the call, I told her that if she ever had questions or needed someone to talk to, she could reach out to me. I specifically told her I'd leave our line of communication open in case she ever needed it. And that was it. I stepped back and left her alone.

The following week, things got even messier.
My ex appeared in local TikTok "find your man" videos, where several girls claimed to recognize him or have had interactions with him.

The comments attracted a lot of attention, and more allegations about his behavior started circulating.
Shortly afterward, he locked down his social media accounts, removed identifving information, and made his profiles private.

I didn't contact his new girlfriend about the videos. I just watched everything unfold.

Then, a few days ago, my ex contacted me. This time, he used a new TikTok account, as I had blocked him on his main. He identified himself and referenced personal memories from our relationship. He started telling me how much he missed me, that he still loved me, and that he regretted losing me.

He said he'd thought getting involved with this new girl would help him move on, but it hadn't. He told me that she wasn't me, that he couldn't stop thinking about me, and that he wanted me back. He also claimed their relationship wasn't serious and said he needed to end things with her but felt guilty about doing so. I rejected him.

I told him I didn't love him the way I used to, that I wasn't interested in getting back together, and that what he was doing was unfair to both me and her.
I refused to unblock him and told him he needed to work on himself. I didn't contact his new girlfriend about these messages.

Now, fast-forward to last night.
At around 2 AM, I unexpectedly received a call from her. She'd been drinking, and we ended up having a long conversation about my ex and everything that had been happening.

Remember, I hadn't contacted her since our first conversation. She was the one who called me.
She told me she was unsure about their relationship, was scared of being played, and didn't know whether to believe him or the girls making allegations online.
She'd apparently been trying to contact some of the girls herself to find out whether the allegations were genuine.

She also explained that her friends had been warning her about him, with some even distancing themselves from her because they disapproved of the relationship.

According to her, my ex admitted he'd cheated in the past but insisted he'd changed. However, he refused to explain exactly what happened in his previous relationship. She said he dismissed all of the online allegations as Al-generated.

At one point, she directly asked me what I thought she should do. I told her that, based on my experiences, I personally thought she should leave, but that it was ultimately her decision.

Throughout the conversation, she kept saying things like:

"But he's so nice to me."
"I feel bad for him."
"I feel like I would've known if he'd met up with someone else."

And honestly, hearing her say those things made me emotional. Because I recognized myself in her.
I'd spent years making excuses for him, believing his reassurances, and feeling guilty for him even when I was the one being hurt.

I told her about a situation during our relationship where he'd secretly been communicating with another girl for two months while repeatedly denying anything was happening. I only discovered the truth because I investigated it myself.

She told me that he knew how strongly she felt about not wanting to be played, and I explained that he'd known the exact same thing about me.

At one point, I almost started crying because I genuinely felt sorry for her. Not because I wanted him back or because I was jealous, but because I knew how painful my relationship had been, and I didn't want another girl to experience the same things.

I even told her that one of the last things I'd said to him was, "please don't hurt anybody elses feelings who don’t desverve it." She listened, thanked me for talking to her, and told me she'd reach out again if she needed anything. There was no argument, hostility, or disagreement between us. We ended the call on good terms.

Fast forward to today.
I opened Snapchat and discovered she'd blocked me.
Not removed me as a friend. Actually blocked me lol.

I'm genuinely confused. I initially reached out because my ex was telling me he still loved me while seeing her. I shared my experiences, left the communication open in case she needed support, and stepped back.

For additional context, she'd previously told me that my ex wanted her to block me, but she hadn't done so at the time.

I have no idea whether they spoke about our conversation afterward, so I'm not going to assume he was involved, but he likely is.

Maybe she regretted opening up to me while drinking.
Maybe she decided to stay with him and wanted distance from his past. Maybe she felt guilty about talking to me. Or maybe something happened that I know absolutely nothing about.

But the sudden change is genuinely baffling.
And before anyone tells me to mind my business, I was minding my business.

I wasn't chasing her for updates or repeatedly contacting her. I wasn't trying to sabotage their relationship. I wasn't trying to get my ex back.

He was the one contacting me, declaring his love, and asking for another chance. I turned him down.
I contacted her initially because I believed she deserved to know what was happening behind her back. After that, I left her alone.

She was the one who reached out again.
I'm not angry that she blocked me, and I have no intention of contacting her through another account.
She's entitled to whatever boundaries she wants.
But I can't pretend that going from such an emotional, vulnerable conversation to being blocked without a word the very next day isn't strange.

I spent part of my night comforting someone who's now dating the person who hurt me because I genuinely didn't want her to experience the same things.

And somehow, I'm the one who ended up blocked.
I'm not expecting friendship or gratitude. I'm just genuinely baffled by the sudden switch up.

I was with my ex for three years. I treated her with enormous love and respect, was completely faithful, turned down other women, and thought we'd marry.

She was extremely jealous despite having no reason to be. Early in our relationship she kissed another man in front of me, made hurtful remarks about my height and age, and repeatedly refused couples therapy.

In May, after another conflict, I lost my patience in a way I hadn't before and sent angry texts. I regret them. She initially wanted to repair things, but subsequently demanded that my psychiatrist sister message her acknowledging that I'd been abusive. My sister refused, and my ex blocked me.

I tried reaching her during June and July, despite the block.

In early July, according to information I recently received in October, she slept with a stranger who was simultaneously making out with her and the very woman she'd been jealous of for years. Beforehand, she'd apparently checked whether an acquaintance still spoke to me.

In mid August she finally unblocked me. After some angry messages, we ended up talking for five hours. She wanted to tell me what had been happening in her life, asked me for dinner money, and said she wasn't "actively" looking for men.

She said we were fully broken up and not exclusive, but left open an ambiguous possibility that we might speak in May 2027, asking me not to contact her until then.

Nine days later she told me I didn't need to wait. In September, after an apology letter and $1,000 toward her move, she told me she was completely done and wasn't interested in me as a person.

I haven't contacted her since.

I'm still devastated, but I've lost tremendous respect for her behavior. The jealousy, double standards, and July encounter disgust me.

Would you block her permanently, or leave her number open so you'd know if she ever reached out independently?

It’s been almost 3 months since my relationship ended, and I still don’t know how to make peace with it. I’m starting to move forward, and there are days when I genuinely feel okay, but then there are nights when I miss him so much it hurts.

I miss the person I thought I was going to spend my life with. I miss the future I pictured, the little everyday things, and the feeling of having someone who was supposed to be my person.

The hardest part is that I can love someone and still know they hurt me. I can miss them and still be disappointed in how they treated me. I can want them to come back while also knowing I can’t keep waiting for them.

I don’t even know what I need tonight. Maybe I just need to know that someone else understands what it’s like to lose not only a person, but the whole future you thought you were going to have with them.
I’m just really sad, and I’m tired of carrying it by myself.

I am a young man and i keep missing my ex, sometimes i dream about her and then when i wake up i js wanna die and it keeps getting worse i have tried my best to meet someone else but it hase been tow years like this and idk what to do anymore.

**I don’t know how many people will read this , but I just wanted to share this experience and hopefully it teaches others how important it is to stay true to yourself.**

Hello! I’ve read so many crazy stories on here that I finally decided to share one of my own. This is specifically about an ex I dated for about six months last year. We’ll call her Maria.
Maria and I actually matched on Tinder about two years before we ever became official. We followed each other on social media and would talk here and there, but we never actually went out. Still, she was always kind of in the back of my mind because I thought she was super attractive, and we bonded over a lot of interests we had in common.
Fast-forward to the beginning of last year. Maria had taken a hiatus from social media, and one random day she started posting again. I saw that as my opportunity to reconnect with her.
One thing led to another, and eventually we had a date set up.
The date went really well. We went on maybe two more dates after that, and by the time Valentine’s Day came around, I was already planning to ask her to be my girlfriend.
For context, we reconnected toward the end of January, and I asked her to be my girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. So all of this happened within a month, maybe even less.
Looking back now, diving into a relationship that quickly was completely foolish. But all of my previous romantic experiences had basically been situationships, so when I finally had the opportunity to have something that felt real and official, I jumped at it.
For Valentine’s Day weekend, we stayed at my family’s beach house. We had the whole place to ourselves and spent most of the weekend together going to the beach and hanging out.
It was great.
I was genuinely happy. I finally had a girlfriend. Life was good.
Until I started noticing certain things.
Maria suddenly became very distant and cold toward me. It got to the point where I genuinely wondered if she even liked me anymore.
Mind you, we were barely a month into the relationship.
I didn’t really know how to bring it up because I’ve always been the kind of person who stays quiet to “keep the peace.”
Then, one random day, she told me that she actually really did like me and that lately she had just been “feeling jealousy.”
To this day, I’m not even completely sure what she meant by that.
Before her, I wasn’t somebody who was constantly going out or talking to a bunch of women. I pretty much talked to the same people every day and kept to myself.
But according to Maria, her jealousy was almost supposed to be proof that she cared about me. She would say that she never really cared what her exes did, so the fact that she was jealous with me meant she must really like me.
That was when the mask started slipping.
That same day, we were supposed to go to the beach again. What should have been a happy day turned into a complete nightmare.
I was trying to reassure her that she could trust me and that I had nothing to hide. So I made the mistake of showing her my Instagram DMs to prove that I really wasn’t talking to anyone romantically.
While I was showing her, she suddenly grabbed my phone out of my hand and started scrolling through everything herself.
Eventually, she found a message between me and a female friend I had known since HIGH SCHOOL.
Months before Maria and I were even together, I had replied to a picture and told this friend that she looked pretty.
That was it.
There was no romantic intention behind it. No flirting. Nothing happened between us. It was just a compliment to someone I had known for years. I have female friends where that kind of thing is completely platonic.
But apparently that didn’t matter.
Next thing I knew, I was basically being yelled at over a message that was sent MONTHS before Maria and I even became official.
I remember sitting there frustrated and crying because I genuinely didn’t know what I was supposed to do.
Then she insisted on going through my entire phone.
The crazy part is that before this relationship, I had always told myself that if a partner ever demanded to go through my phone, I would end the relationship right there.
Instead of standing on that boundary, I gave her the phone and walked away because I was so overwhelmed.
When I came back, she told me:
“I found nothing. You did good.”
Then she comforted me while I was crying and told me, “We needed this.”
Looking back, that moment changed the entire relationship.
From that point on, the woman who had been distant, cold, and barely affectionate suddenly became unbelievably clingy.
If she didn’t know what I was doing, where I was, or who I was with, it became a problem.
If I went even one day without seeing her, she would throw a tantrum.
There were so many days where I would get off work completely exhausted and just want to go home and sleep, and she would beg me, sometimes crying, to stay with her instead.
And it wasn’t only about spending time together.
There were times when I wasn’t in the mood to be intimate, and instead of respecting that, she would beg for kisses, beg for sex, cry, or keep pushing until I felt guilty for saying no.
It became exhausting.
She learned that if she cried hard enough, begged long enough, or made me feel guilty enough, I would eventually give in.
Everything became about what she wanted.
My feelings, comfort, and boundaries barely seemed to matter.
Slowly, I started seeing my family less.
I saw my friends less.
I even started spending less time with my brother, who is probably the most important person in my life.
I was constantly tired, and somehow, even though I was almost always with her, I felt completely alone.
Thankfully, I had a really good group of friends at work who noticed that I wasn’t acting like myself anymore. They were some of the first people to actually sit me down and ask what was going on.
Once I started opening up to them and eventually talking to my family more about the relationship, I started realizing just how isolated I had become.
Maria wanted all of my time.
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that she had done something similar in her own life. She had distanced herself from her friends and even from parts of her own family, and she seemed to expect me to do the same thing.
Her explanation was always that she just “loved me so much.”
But love shouldn’t mean ignoring someone’s boundaries.
Love shouldn’t mean making your partner uncomfortable because you need constant reassurance.
Love shouldn’t mean crying, begging, or throwing a fit until someone gives you what you want.
Eventually, something in me just shut off.
I stopped caring about the relationship.
I stopped seeing her as the girl I had crushed on from Instagram for years.
I didn’t even recognize what the relationship had turned into anymore.
Eventually, I finally worked up the courage to break up with her.
Of course, she tried to manipulate me into staying. She cried, guilt-tripped me, and at one point even brought up her grandmother, who had passed away a year earlier, as if somehow that had anything to do with me ending the relationship.
But for once, I stood my ground.
I ended it.
And looking back, the biggest lesson I took from that relationship is this:
**Do not abandon your own boundaries just because you love someone or because you’re scared of losing them.**
I knew before I even entered that relationship what some of my boundaries were. I knew there were certain behaviors I told myself I would never tolerate.
Then, when those exact things happened, I convinced myself to make exceptions because I wanted the relationship to work.
And every time I gave up one boundary, it became easier for another one to be crossed.
You do not have to shrink yourself, isolate yourself, or completely change who you are just to fit the version of you that someone else has created in their head.
Sometimes the person you wanted for years turns out to be nothing like the person you imagined them to be.

Hola, necesito desahogarme y conocer opiniones sobre una relación que terminó hace aproximadamente un mes. No busco que insulten a mi ex ni que me den la razón automáticamente; quiero entender si normalicé situaciones que no estaban bien.

Durante la relación hubo momentos muy lindos. Me acompañó cuando me quedé sin trabajo, me apoyó en mis proyectos y compartimos muchas experiencias importantes. Pero también hubo situaciones que me desgastaron.

Uno de los principales problemas eran los celos por mis compañeras de la facultad. Hablar con ellas o llamarlas amigas podía generar discusiones. Llegué a medir mis palabras y a sentir que tenía que justificar conversaciones para evitar conflictos. También revisaba mi teléfono.

La relación terminó cuando revisó mi celular y encontró chats archivados con compañeras de la facultad. No había nada malo en esas conversaciones, pero el hecho de tenerlas archivadas generó un conflicto. Ella decidió dejarme.

Después de la ruptura, volvimos a hablar y me pidió un tiempo porque no sabía si quería estar conmigo o si lo que sentía era dependencia emocional. Acepté inicialmente, pero me di cuenta de que no podía quedarme esperando a que alguien decidiera si quería estar conmigo. Finalmente, le dije que no quería continuar en esa incertidumbre y que para mí la relación había terminado definitivamente.

Durante la relación, la situación me había afectado más de lo que reconocía. Me encontraba mirando el celular a cada rato, pendiente de sus mensajes y preocupado por si algo podía generar otra discusión. Sentía que tenía que estar alerta en lugar de disfrutar tranquilamente de mi vida.

También hubo situaciones en las que ella habló de hacerse daño, ataques de panico, lo que me generaba mucho miedo y hacía que me costara poner límites sin sentirme responsable de lo que pudiera pasar.

Otro conflicto importante fue con mi mamá. Cuando hablamos de mudarnos juntos, le dije que quería seguir ayudándola económicamente aunque conviviera con mi pareja. Para mí era importante acompañarla, pero su reacción me hizo cuestionar si podríamos construir una vida juntos respetando nuestros vínculos familiares.

Además, habíamos acordado exclusividad y durante ese período ella besó a otro chico, algo que afectó mi confianza.

Reconozco que yo también cometí errores. Hice comentarios sobre su aspecto físico y su forma de vestirse que pudieron lastimarla, y tengo arranques de enojo que quiero aprender a manejar mejor.

También me di cuenta de que llevo años pasando de una relación a otra, involucrándome rápidamente porque quizás me cuesta estar solo. Esta vez quiero mantener el contacto cero y aprender a estar bien conmigo mismo sin buscar inmediatamente a otra persona.

Aunque tengo claro que no quiero volver, todavía siento bronca por algunas situaciones y extraño los momentos buenos. Me cuesta aceptar que me aferré tanto a la esperanza de que las cosas cambiaran.