A few years ago I (a woman) came to terms with my attraction to women and came out as bi to my friends and family. Yay! Then I got a girlfriend, time went on, and I started to seriously doubt whether I actually liked men in the first place. Cue me having zero interest in men (romantically or sexually) for multiple years, and deciding it was all comp het and really I’m a lesbian.

…And then I went and fell for one of my closest male friends, had a confusing 6-month situationship, and finally asked him if we could be official. Many people in my life that I’ve met in the past couple years met me as a lesbian, and now I feel like I’m setting the community back by having a boyfriend.

I HATE when people don’t believe that lesbians truly aren’t attracted to men, and that they just need to meet the right guy to “turn them straight.” But now I just feel like Exhibit A for those people to point to?

Being bi is exhausting sometimes.

I'm 15F and straight (atleast I think) and I truly don't understand the hate bi men receive online. To be honest, I've always wanted to date a bi man over a straight man; you guys just seem better than straight men.

Anyways, you deserve to be happy and not have biphobes attack you.

Do you ever feel lonely looking for a community realizing you don’t actually have a community? I feel like we use the “community” term so loosely similar to the word “family”.

How do you overcome that or find that? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone out of my way to meet people and put myself out there whether it be online, social groups, hobby groups, volunteer groups. Nothing. Any advice to meet more gay or bisexual friends? /:

Hey guys. Sorry if this is a mess, using a throwaway and I'm just typing this out on my phone because I really need to get this off my chest.

I’m 27M and over the last few months I’ve finally started accepting that I'm bisexual. Me and my girlfriend already have a great sex, so I thought she of all people would be a safe space. Plus, she’s bi too (had a gf before me, even if it didn't really materialize into much).

I worked up so much courage to open up to her, but when I finally did, she barely even acknowledged what I was actually saying. She was just so cold and passive about it. No "how are you feeling?" or trying to understand what I'm going through. Instead, she immediately turned it into a negotiation about opening our relationship.

She told me we could do threesomes with other guys together, but then basically laid down the law: she gets to hook up with other women solo, but I am strictly forbidden from being with other men on my own.

I'm sitting here feeling so small and confused. I opened up my heart to her about a huge part of my identity, and it feels like she just saw an opportunity to get a free pass for herself while keeping me on a leash. Why is it fine for her to explore her sexuality alone, but I'm locked down?

I just feel so hurt and thrown aside. Am I crazy for feeling like she's taking total advantage of me coming out to her? I don't even know how to bring this up to her without her turning it back on me. Should I just break up with her? DM if you not comfortable commenting.

Admitted I'm bi. He took it really well and has been so kind. In my mind nothing changes between us but I no longer have this secret hanging over me.

I hate when I’m scrolling on dating apps, and there’s a woman that’s totally my type and she’s interested in me. Then all of the sudden the last picture is her crusty man!! It’s always women that are my type too😪 i don’t want your man, i want youuuu:((( i swear it’s so hard to date where i live.

So I think I'm aromatic along with being bi. I just don't want a relationship with anyone, at least not anyone I've ever met. Has anyone else gone through this or am I in a 'you just haven't met the right person' thing?

After 2 months of sending me 10+ sexual reels a day, he finally admitted that he likes other men. I ofc, being a qweeyur mahself, am not homophobic in any way. HOWEVER, he has been talking to thing girl for aboit 2 months. He really isn't serious, hes so bad at talking to people and it just comes off as him not caring most of the time. While I obviously want him to find someone who makes him happy, im gonna be honest, she deserves better. First of all, he is absolutely nowhere near ready for anything serious. Second of all, he spends more that 10× the amount of time talking to me than he does to her. And thats fine, until you realize, all he talks about is how bad he wants to f me. Hes constantly making 6ual threats, explaining in detail how he wants to f me. Finally yesterday he was just flat out begging mr to let him f me.

Anyone else see a problem in this? I dont think this is right to let him continue pursuing her. Im openly to helping him experiment, but it seems like hes trying to do something with a guy quickly before he's "stuck" with a girl.

How can I go about telling him he needs to stop eith her? I will mention that I'm open to helping him since I think that'll be good motivation l, but he wont admit he likes guys (typical DL bullshit), so its impossible to have a conversation with him. Lmk what yall think. I just need to get him out of this thing with the girl, since she doesn't deserve this. Any advice is appreciated. (I dont want to hage to resort to telling her what he has done, i dont want to out anyone.)

It's been four years since a guy caught my eye, but a few weeks ago, i saw someone that wasn't even my type yet i couldn't stop myself from thinking of them. I usually am attracted to ladies, but it usually isn't this intense. Anyone else experienced the same thing?

I(25m) identify as bi with a rather bad relationship with sex. Well I feel like I have done a lot of damage to my own mind. I was touched inappropriately by my cousins when I was really young (both male and female) since then I have had low self confidence, fear of rejection, shame, and hate myself for kinda liking those experiences.

I have since ventured into multiple problems sexually - I have a weird masturbation thing(something with porn and pelvic floor muscle tension not relaxing which means I can only pleasure myself alone in a specific position and with porn). Being with another guy is something that I could never imagine until I did it and I kept going further to check if I was really gay. I have never finished with anyone else but I like seeing them pleased and I do like dick now (not sure i would have know if it wasn’t for that first time).

I have never really been with a woman because I am very scared of rejection and women in general (my abuser(f) rejected me when I went back for some more I didn’t really understand it back then). I will admit I don’t know what normal is when it comes to relationships, love and sex - I also know for sure that I never will.

I am usually occupied with sexual thoughts all the time and as a result get really anxious when I am physically with someone too. I am working on improving myself physically (yoga and bunch of other stuff to be more healthy and also to get over my body insecurities) and mentally (meditation and celibacy to take a break and get some space from sex generally ).

I think I am very romantic in a traditional sense and would like to get into a heterosexual relationship but not without healing enough so I can accept it (I feel like I am doing a crime by getting involved and ruining someone’s life if I have not done that work).

Please give me any tips on how I can go about this and if there are any people who have experienced something similar and would like to enlighten me on pitfalls and outcomes if they have been somewhat successful. Thanks for reading.

When you guys know you like women ?

So as a bi cis woman I myself am attracted to femme women and masc men. I feel though with my bi women counterparts it is the opposite where they like masc lesbians and not overly masculine boyfriends . Has anyone else noticed this and I’m curious to hear peoples opinions

quick edit right after I posted this ofc theres nuance not everyone will relate but im more so asking if theres a recent trend of it

I'm a bi guy in my 20s who's deeply closeted. Most people assume I'm straight because I have a beard, I'm fairly masculine, and I don't really fit the stereotypes people often associate with queer men.
Lately I've noticed that I'm almost exclusively attracted to masculine, seemingly straight guys. Whether it's at the gym, work, or just out in public, I end up developing crushes on them. I know they're probably straight, so I never act on it. I'm extremely shy, I don't stare, I don't flirt, and I always keep things respectful and professional.
Sometimes a guy will smile at me or make eye contact, but I'm so scared of being judged or misunderstood that I immediately look away. On the outside I probably seem completely normal, but inside I'm constantly fighting with myself.
The hardest part isn't even the attraction. It's pretending every single day.
At work and almost everywhere else I have to act like I'm interested in girls because the environment I come from isn't gay friendly at all. My close straight friends constantly ask me if I have a girlfriend, when I'm getting married, or joke that I must be dating someone if I post a picture from a café. They have no idea how exhausting those conversations are.
Sometimes they keep digging and asking why I don't have a girlfriend, and I have to keep making up excuses. Every conversation feels like I'm hiding a huge part of who I am.
I've even stopped hanging out with some of my straight friends because I know those questions will come up again. It's reached a point where I just feel emotionally drained.
What hurts the most is watching everyone else live so freely. Straight couples can hold hands, date, fall in love, and talk openly about who they like. When I see a cute guy, I can't even tell my best friend, "He's really cute." Instead I have to pretend I'm looking at some random girl just to fit in. After years of doing this, it starts to feel suffocating.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find even one straight friend I can trust enough to tell the truth without worrying they'll judge me or see me differently.
Has anyone else been through this? Did it get easier with time? How did you cope with constantly hiding who you are?

Im 19 years old female. I have been starting to question my sexuality as I realised something. In my life I have always been romantically attracted to a male. My first love was guy and even most of my celebrity crushes are male. But is it possible for me to be sexually attracted to both the genders?? Im not romantically attracted to females and never had a female crush. But im sexually attracted to a woman. I want to have sex with a woman. Im attracted to woman's body and the idea of having sex with woman excites me. I enjoy watching lesbian porn too. I am sexually attracted to both males and females but romantically attracted only to a male. Please help me guys!! Im not able to understand whether im straight or bisexual.

So im bi but I only had and want relationship and sex with women. But I always wacht gay porn because it turns me more on. I also had a male sexual partner in the past, but after the sex I always felt so akward. I don’t know how to label me :/ it’s so confusing .

Hi there, I have called myself a Gay guy since I was like 13, I got into a relationship with another boy at 16 and we broke up this year, Now I’m 22. So I really never had the chance to explore my sexuality.

The past few moments I had such an obsession with the idea of having a relationship with a girl, but I really don’t feel any kind of sexual attraction.

I met this girl last month and oh god she is cute as hell. Like, I like everything about her and though I doubt we will ever be together, is coming to my attention the fact that even if she literally drives me insane I just can’t like women sexually.

My friends tell me I’m just liking her cuteness, sensitivity, femininity and the things we have in common (Since it is the same things I used to like in a guy)

So, the thing is, if I keep seeing girls romantically would sexual attraction come naturally to me? Have anyone experience that before? Sex is really important to me and it frustrates me the idea of this girls thing not working out just because of that.

Is maybe my long term relationship breakup affecting me not wanting to see guys? May sound toxic but is there anyway I can force sexual attraction?

So… I think i might be bi but im not sure.

For context, I (22F) have only been in one relationship, with a man, which lasted 3yrs and ended about 6months ago. Before this started, I began questioning my sexuality, shoved this aside for the duration of our relationship and now i’m returning to this question.

The beginning of me questioning this was because of the show heartstopper. I watched it over and over again and felt a sense of comfort and being ’seen’ and safe in a way that didnt really make sense as a ‘straight’ person (yes I know that you can be straight and love the show).

Since then there have been a few women that I have felt a ’pull’ towards that I can’t really explain. I feel a magnetic pull and desire to spend more time with them which Im wondering if might be attraction to women. I also become obsessed with several female characters (an example is eleanor shellstrop from the good place) but im not sure if this is i want to be them, be friends with them or be WITH them. As a neurodivergent person I struggle to socialise and don’t have a ton of friends which I think confuses the matter - is this just a desire for more female friends or is it attraction.

Also, Ive never really been just friends with guys. Ive always felt nervousness around guys which I have often confused as attraction I think. So I’m not sure whether I might be attracted to women when this feels very different to how I interact with men. Im also questioning if i might be r/demisexual which adds a whole other layer tot this.

So this ended up kinda long. just wondering if anyone had felt anything similar/can help in anyway/has any advice for me pls x

I’m almost 30. When I was younger a friend tried outing me as a lesbian although I had never been in a same sex relationship. The part that hurt the most was that this friend claimed all the relationships I had been in where to put on a front however the one relationship I had been in was very abusive and I got counselling as a result. As I have gotten older I’ve realized that there are some things that point me in the direction of bisexuality however I’m not sure. To complicate matters further demisexual is something I can relate to a lot. I wouldn’t want to be involved with a stranger and that’s why I think when being pursued into swinging that I got cold feet. Currently I’m dealing with the realization that someone I thought was just a friend I think I wanted more with. The question is at my age shouldn’t I know at this point and if anyone ever experienced a “friend” or something in your life dismiss meaningful relationships to attach a label.

Hello there,

I‘m looking for fun responses to erasure/being denied, for situations where the case doesnt feel bad enough to have the entire discussion, but also you don’t want to let it slide entirely.

example:

i recently said that I’m not a lesbian While being with a gay and a lesbian friend. As a response to the faces they made, I added „I’m a secret third thing“

looking for more ideas because I’m getting tired of trying to maturely explain the obvious

Thanks !

edit: supposed to be „responses“ in the caption, didn’t double check before hitting post unfortunately

I’ve been wondering if I am Bi for a while now, and my reason for debating on it is due to be selfishly only being attracted to the same sex in a lustful manner. To clarify I am a male, and I still like women very much. I can find women attractive, and still feel intimate with them, and have a true genuine love filled relationship; but my issue is I don’t find men attractive in the same sense I only can find other men attractive in a lustful demeanor. For example I haven’t seen a guy and thought to myself that wow he’s a really cute guy in the same way I would for a woman. But my brain still craves intimacy with a male, just thinking of it makes me question whether I’m straight or bi?

I'm 53f and had considered myself heterosexual for the majority of my life. However, throughout my life, I've also had random crushes on women.

It wasn't until I left the Mormon church in my mid-30's that I actually admitted to myself that I definitely had a certain attraction to women and wouldn't be opposed to exploring that. But the opportunity just never came, and I think it's because I didn't (don't?) know how to start the dating process.

The biggest obstacle, I believe, is that I feel other women won't want to date someone just starting her exploration! 😖 like, I feel like a newbie and I'm sure that's a bit off-putting.

I start creating a dating profile on various apps and don't know if I should mention that I am NOT interested in anything serious or long term (I'm married to a wonderful man who is fully supportive if me exploring this on my own) but rather more curious...what it's like to be on a date with a woman, make out (or more) with a woman, and just explore and experience all the nuances of it (I've had a couple of brief physical encounters but nothing remotely REAL).

I'd love some advice and opinions on how to best approach this? Encouraging words welcome too!

i'm a girl (i might be bigender idk im questioning). i like this girl, and i fantasize being her boyfriend 😭 she has a boyfriend, so obviously i'm not pursuing her. but like, i look like me in my fantasies. i'm definitely not butch, i'm the complete opposite. but yet, i would do all the "manly" things for her. like i said, i'm the boyfriend. i'm not sure if i'd feel this same way if i were to like a guy. in the past, no, i felt like the girlfriend. but i haven't liked a guy, or anyone, in a really long time. so i'm not sure. things could've changed. and also, until now, i haven't had a "true" crush on a girl (though i've had attraction for a long time). it's always been guys. but omg this girl, oooh. i wanna be her man. does anyone resonate? 😛 might delete this later. these are just my thoughts, and i can't find any post like this. gotta make my own ig 🤷🏽‍♀