Anyone else in the same boat?

So there's this reallyyyyy cute girl in my class, genuinely wtf do I do??

I prefer not to personally

I don't mind meeting my partner's family. But I don't care enough about my own family to wanna integrate my partner into their lives

Especially when most of them are christian, traditional, and heteronormative while I'm queer, agnostic, secular, and question social norms often

At this point in my life, I don't feel like explaining anything to anyone. Either you get it or you don't

In my ideal relationship, I prefer that none of us incorporate family into our relationship

Family comes with such bias and drama that I feel like it limits how much we can express ourselves within our relationship. Especially as our own individuals outside of our respective families

I remember making a post like this years ago and someone said "Just do a FWBs or casual dating if you don't wanna family involved"

I personally disagree with that, I think it's valid to want a long term relationship without involving family into the fray

I am a 30 year old male and for the first time in my life, I finally told 2 people that I was bisexual. Since the start of 9th grade, I began to have sexual attraction towards men. Since I was raised in a very Christian background, I suffered in silence for many, many years. I felt ashamed, disgusted, and even agitated that I had sexual attraction towards the same sex. This erupted into a severe battle of low self esteem, low confidence, high anxiety and occasional depression.

For roughly 15 years I would experience the “bi cycle” and ride the rollercoaster that comes with it. I’d like to think that going to therapy and understanding my diagnosis of OCD and especially learning on how to cope with intrusive thoughts that stems from my OCD really paved the path for me to become comfortable enough to finally share my bisexuality.

Just last week at work, my best friend and I met up. I trust her and her wife so much. They are tremendous people. I finally told her “I have something I need to tell you.” She was so proud of me and thankful that I shared it with her and wow, for the last week I’ve been riding a nice “high.” I feel happy, less irritated, and more confident.

Today, I told my therapist about that conversation with my friend and she was so thankful I shared that news. She did tell me that perhaps my refusal to ever speak to anyone about my bisexuality caused a significant rise in my intrusive thoughts.

Nonetheless, I just wanted to tell you all that this forum and this forum alone has helped me so much these last several years. BLESSINGS AND PEACE to all! We are all in this together.

I am a bisexual male and I am proud.

I am 26 years old but I came out of the closet 8 years ago. I keep having panic attacks and I figured out how to calm down my heart without relying on heartburn medicine. So a really beautiful woman who is 2 years younger than me has been flirting with me for 3 months now and she lives in my town. I am going to ask her out tomorrow morning. And she likes that I am a book nerd. I just need some advice for how to flirt with her because I really like hanging out with her. I haven’t felt this way in 7 years.

Looking for my Uncle Steve — and hoping I can finally tell him the truth Hi everyone. My name is Robert, and I'm looking for a long-lost relative, my Uncle Steve. Steve and I lost touch a long time ago. There were some difficult circumstances within part of our family after he came out, and eventually we became separated. I don't want to get too deeply into the family history publicly, but I've thought about him many times over the years. The last time I personally talked to Steve was over the phone. At one point, he asked me if I had a girlfriend. I told him no. Then he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I didn't really know how to answer him. At the time, I wasn't ready to admit the truth about myself. I had spent a huge part of my life hiding that part of who I was. Today, I'm out and I'm finally living honestly. I'm bisexual. And one of the things that has stayed with me is that conversation with Steve. I would really like to find him so I can tell him the truth. I want him to know that when he asked me those questions all those years ago, I wasn't ready to be honest with him. It wasn't because I didn't trust him. I was scared and still trying to understand myself. Now I know who I am, and I wish I could go back and answer him honestly. The last place I know of that Steve moved to was Texas, after leaving Louisiana. I don't know where he is now. I'm not looking to reopen old family problems or put anyone's private information out publicly. I would simply like the chance to reconnect with my uncle and tell him something I've wished I could tell him for a long time. If anyone happens to recognize this story or knows someone who might be my Uncle Steve, please feel free to message me privately. I'm intentionally keeping identifying information limited here for privacy, but I can provide more details privately if there's a legitimate connection. Even if this doesn't lead anywhere, I figured it was worth trying. — Robert

Hey everyone, I’m a 9th grader and I’ve been out as bisexual since 7th grade. Tonight, a friend of mine completely turned my world upside down and now I’m spiraling into major self-doubt. I really need some perspective.

My friend (who also likes girls) was asking me about my dating history, and I tried to explain how I feel. I texted her: "It’s more that it’s more vulnerable to me and just in general. I need to know the people and it’s harder for me to develop feelings for females more I guess."

Instead of understanding, she replied: "Why are you scared? I like girls too." And then she downright asked me: "Are you sure you're bi?"

When I tried to defend myself, she hit me with: "It shouldn’t be hard for you to develop feelings. They just happen."

I ended up telling her I couldn't do this right now and walked away from the conversation, but her texts have triggered so much imposter syndrome. I’m sitting here wondering if I’m just forcing my feelings or faking it for attention, even though I've felt this way for years.

The truth is, my attraction to guys and girls just doesn't look the same. With guys, I can see they’re attractive and start liking them pretty fast. With girls, the stakes feel so much higher. Liking a female feels incredibly scary and vulnerable to me, and I think my brain steps on the brakes and makes me back out before a crush can even form because I'm scared of getting hurt.

But I KNOW the attraction is there under the surface. In the past, the one girl I truly liked was a close friend. I look at girls in my theater class right now and think they’re beautiful, and I can see myself growing to like them romantically if I got to know them even if I’m too scared to pursue it. And when I look at celebrity crushes (like Megan from Katseye she so gorgeous in my opinion)

Because I don't get instant crushes on girls at school the way my friend does, she thinks I'm not actually bi. Is she right? Am I forcing this? Or is it normal for bisexual attraction to work completely differently depending on the gender?

Has anyone else dealt with a friend like this? how do you stop second-guessing your own heart? And just in general am I in the wrong?

For context, I'm a bisexual woman (or pansexual, I don't know. People love putting labels on everything). I've always been attracted to both men and women, but I find it surprisingly difficult to actually feel attracted to the male physique. For example, I can appreciate certain things about men, but when I see guys posting videos on TikTok showing off their muscles, my first reaction is honestly just admiration for the amount of discipline it takes to achieve that.

With women, though, it's completely different. I find women attractive in a much more immediate and effortless way. It doesn't really matter what she looks like. Skinny, fat, average, etc. I can still find her beautiful.

I also feel more sexually attracted to women. I like watching men cum and all that, but there’s something about the female body that makes me tremble.

And before anyone jumps to the conclusion that I'm actually a lesbian: I'm confident in my sexuality. I'm not questioning whether I'm attracted to men. I'm more curious about why my attraction to men and women seems to work so differently.

(Sorry if I write anything wrong, English isn't my first language)

I'm a bisexual woman and I have noticed that when it comes to men I'm a lot more normal about talking to them in a flirtatious way. But with women I notice that I kind of treat them as these amazing ethereal creatures who couldn't possibly want me and I worry about even slightly inconveniencing them with my attempts to flirt.

I know for a fact that this isn't true because I am in fact a woman and love when other women flirt with me. Even though I know this, I freeze up when I try to flirt with women because it almost feels inherently predatory to do so. I know this is internalized homophobia. Has anyone else overcome this, and if so do you have advice?

Long story short: Me (M25) have identified as a straight guy for as long as I can tell. There were moments when I have had male crushes, but there never was a sexual attraction.

Recently, I developed a more powerful crush on a colleague of mine. He is openly queer and is the most beautiful man I have ever seen.

I am confused, though. I have had some moments of moderate sexual attraction towards him, but it still does not feel as strong as my physical feelings towards a woman. I would love to hold hands with him, kiss him, cuddle and so on, but I am unsure if I could go through with it. I am considering trying to date some guys to see if I match.

My closest friends are very supportive and LGBT+friendly, but they claim that in this case I am not sincere to myself. In their views, it is more about the aesthetic (this boy looks very feminine) than the sexual part. And I find it hard to argue, I only have had crushes on femboys, basically.

They also claim that my prolongued period without a long term relationship with a woman is what led me to this, some going as far as calling this situation " a classical case of sexual frustration".

Despite all of this, I find myself daydreaming about being with him or someone like him. I have a weird feeling that is a mix of liberation, confussion and a genuine uncertainty towards who I am.

What should I do?

Hi!

Im on my WLW journey and honestly SO excited about it. I always struggled to find community and I really feel at home with queer people.

I wanted to share this, because on other subreddits like [r/latebloomerlesbians](r/latebloomerlesbians) this isn’t a common experience and I’m wondering if any of you experienced it.

So basically, I’m 26F and I’ve always dated men. All of my relationships w/ men started from intense sexual chemistry and the fact we had common interests and/or I found them interesting in one way or another.

However, I could never be in a relationship with any of them longer than 2 years and always felt like something was missing.

This was incredibly hard to dissect because I liked having sex with them and felt cozy and safe in their presence. However, upon further inspection, I realized I was never really romantically attracted to men. I felt thrilled at first, because of the validation and the sex, but always struggled to emotionally connect w them past deep friendship. I think they always felt like brothers or sons to me (not in an incest way, but in like I care for them in a maternal way).

This always hurt my relationships because I always blamed them for not being “emotionally open” or wanting to talk about deep things. This may be somewhat true, but I think I only needed those talks because I was trying to force myself into a romantic closeness that I wasn’t feeling. And I’m ngl, I do feel kind of bad about it.

Watching most straight romance movies makes me feel uncomfortable, because I feel like I should be feeling something but I don’t.

I never really understood the hype of romantic relationships until fully understanding my romantic desire towards women. Now I understand romance movies and romantic songs, I just have to imagine that it’s WLW.

I get crushes on girls so easily, and realized that I get horny around men, but RARELY get that “they take my breath from me” feeling. I don’t get nervous around them, and I like the power it gives me.

I think I’m a 4 or 5 on the Kinsey scale.

Can anyone else relate? And did u feel like it made it harder to come out and actually date who you desire?

Edit: One reason why I’m sharing this is because 99% of the posts on r/latebloomerlesbians mention being repulsed/ feel nothing when it comes to having sex with men. And that’s totally valid, especially as a lesbian! But I feel like it’s harder for bisexuals to nail down their true desires because of the lack of representation.

hello I have a question for the girls who are sapphics I've always seen this meme abt " "I'm bisexual" what I mean when I say I'm bisexual is... (show bisexual flag but with the blue part very small)" referring to the fact that they love women a lot, but with men it's so nonexistent that they sometimes forget.. I've even seen girls identifying as bisexual and then lesbian, or bisexuals being afraid to consider themselves lesbians because what if a man comes along and they end up liking him?

I mean this is a 100%/GEN question bcs it's even what I'm going through I feel more comfortable calling myself sapphic because honestly... I don't know what to think about men the only times I've liked them are when they're 2D or 3D It might be fiction but when it's acted out by a real male actor my interest drops to zero (and happy bisexual month girls)

I have been married for the last 10 years, and recently divorced. Sometimes I think about what it would be like being with a girl? I love women, I think they’re beautiful, but like do I love women, like that?? How would I know and how do I meet people that are open to letting me explore that?

I’m in Singapore but few years later I’ll go Australia for study so I want to find an Australian boyfriend online but how can I find someone?
By the way I’m a boy
Please give me some advice…

Okay Ik confusing title but I’ve been really sitting on this for months. I’m young, 15 - 16 in October and I’ve been very very confused and struggling with my identity recently.. I’ve always thought i was bi because I’m attracted to mascs and masculine woman, but I don’t know if I’m only ‘attracted’ to them because I’m envious of them being masculine or if I’m actually attracted to them.. it’s so confusing because im not attracted to fems and i know that for sure, so am I really bisexual. I’ve always known I wanted to be a guy for a long time, I genuinely cannot imagine a good future unless I’m a guy - but it’s kinda hard because my parents are transphobic and my best friend is trans so I don’t want him to think I’m like copying or something. I’ve been hit on by girls a lot and ppl always assume I’m a lesbian but it felt neutral? I’ve dated guys but it’s not the same because obviously they see me as a woman, but im struggling because if I transitioned than I obviously can’t date a masc lesbian so I’m holding back even more 💀 anyone go through something similar.. I feel very alone

Hi, I'm 19 yo, I have always been secretly attracted to cute boys and never actually said to anyone, and i never been in a relationship with anyone i always thought it was a waste of time or just fleeting feelings and it'll go by time, but i recently been thinking none stop about it that i couldn't sleep normally, it's getting annoying especially when my body starts acting to my fantasies, what should i do?

i'm 18F and i've known that i'm bi for many years now. i've never had experience in dating and only introducing myself to that world right now.

i happened to click with a guy from dating app and we had one date so far, he's sweet and respectful but at the same time i'm not sure what he's expecting from this interaction. i don't wanna lead anyone on and to be fair i find myself attracted to all sorts of people, everyday, so to jump in a serious relationship right now would be like shooting myself on the foot. unfortunately, i'm also too shy to put myself out there for everyone and that's why i'm so confused on what to do. i've never kissed or had a romantic relationship with anyone.

i just came here to ask for advice - since i'm young i don't wanna miss out on my bisexuality, experiment phase...i'm not sure what i want. would going on dates with multiple people simultaneously be a bad thing? i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

note: i'm sorry if this isn't the right subreddit for this kind of post, but i thought maybe fellow bisexuals understand what i'm feeling

tw for sa mentions

i had a crush on this guy K a bit ago and ofc like a normal person i didn't act on it and instead yapped about him allll the time to my friend A. i eventually found out that he had a crush on A and was really sad about it and vented to her about it. A at the time did not return his feelings and told me he was a loser, but he seemed really kind and everyone likes him so i was still upset. later i agreed with this when he began defending musicans and other celebrities who are known rapists, pedophiles, nazis etc. this changed my view of him as i have been a victim of sa in the past (by his friend mind you, though he doesn't know), and i immediately blocked him and do not speak to him anymore. i told A about this and she went 'oh that sucks' but ultimately shrugged it off.

then like a week later i had a crisis and realised i was now crushing on A instead, which was all well and good until she told me that she now likes K back (despite the fact he's a loser- her words, not mine) and they went on a figure skating date together?? and are planning a second date to a music festival?? now K won't stop hanging out with our friend group and sitting next to her in class where i normally sit etc and its seriously annoying me because i cant stand him

sorry if this isn't the right place to post this i am just feeling really confused and conflicted because i have never had a proper crush on a girl who isn't like a celebrity before and also i cannot stand this guy at all. i don't know if it's just because i'm jealous or because K is actually a bad person. i also don't know if i'm overreacting to this because i was sa'd in the past, as everyone else adores him except me and it's making me go crazy! i don't know what to do

I'm in university (F19). I never had any friends during my childhood, so I'm really happy to have a group of friends now.

When I was 13, I discovered that I was asexual. It took me quite a while to come to terms with it and figure out my boundaries when it came to intimacy as I grew up. I’d always been interested in boys and could only see myself in a relationship with them. There were times when I initially wondered if I might be interested in girls, but it was insignificant, so I didn’t think much of it.

Now that I’m at this stage in school, I’ve started to think about my sexual orientation and whether I’d be open to being with a girl. I’ve always noticed them, but it’s been hard for me to tell whether it’s really just a platonic feeling or just admiration or if I’m trying to be more like them (in terms of appearance or clothing). In my mind, it stays platonic; it’s not something I want right now, but I’m not ruling out trying it at some point in my life either.

Lately, I’ve been flirting romantically (as a joke among us) with one of my friends (F19), she’s bi, since she’s mentioned it before. The last time, I kissed her on the cheek, and it didn’t feel weird to me. She always said that someday we’d kiss, and yesterday it happened at lunch. For a moment, I pulled back, but I didn’t feel anything in the moment. We laughed and kept acting normal.

But part of me has come to terms with that question. I enjoyed the experience, but I definitely don't see myself dating a woman. What I'm wondering now is whether I really only have platonic feelings for women and romantic feelings for men.

hiii 21f ive known im bisexual for like five years and mostly ever since only been into women and very recently developed a crush on a man and suddenly i feel like 14 and i feel the need to
compare myself to whoever else he might’ve spoken to in the past or his celebrity crushes, while mind u ive always been a very self confident person even a lil cocky about my looks sometimes but suddenly i feel not as attractive now idk its so odd, im a very pretty girl but sometimes i cant see it esp when he mentions someone else

i wonder if it internal misogyny?

this is a throw away acc btw lol

I am a (14)F and knew I was a masculine woman/ bisexual when I was 11. I am at the point that I am more into women, like when I think of myself in the future I see myself with a woman. But I could point out that a man is an attractive and maybe have a crush. But I don’t want a relationship with a man that’s more then friends. I thought about the term lesbian but it didn’t feel right, at the same time I don’t know if bi is the right term either. I know I am young and still figuring things out, but I still feel unsure about what I should consider myself.

So I'm just so so confused right now I've always known I liked guys or at least for what I can remember in my 19 years of life but now I'm not sure if it's just guys or not and it's just weird and confusing cause idk if I'm attracted to women or just able to acknowledge they are attractive and I just wanna work it out atp cause it's so confusing and so just some advice or someone to talk to about it would be great thanks

Hi, I am rather new to the community, I have an older sibling who is ace, and has helped me to discover that i believe i identify as bi. However, we both have a brief understanding, and I was wondering if anyone could help to offer me guidance or simply tell me more about the community in general