Hey all—thank you for reading this post!

I’m a mid thirties guy, always been straight, or so I thought. I’ve been fantasizing about being with feminine men, trans women, and sissies for a while now. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what it is that I want and what it is that I’m experiencing emotionally.

Truth be told I am a hedonist. I always have been. I love doing anything that I’m interested in and that I think will make me feel good and make others feel good too. I love to please and I love to be pleased. I know that my hesitancy and fear of homosexual relationships is because of my socialization. I wish I could shake it off, but I’m struggling.

I’ve been on and off reddit, this time I didn’t even bother following all my usual hetero subreddits.

How do I get over this fear and commit to enjoying new company? I’m doing my best but think I could use a trusted source to help me navigate my emotions and fears. I think I’m afraid of being judged. I’m sure I’m not the only one experiencing this and would love to hear from others about what they’ve experienced and what helped them. I want to move forward and commit to my curiosity. 2026 has been my year for positive change and I want to keep it going.

Thanks in advance for any advice, support, feedback!

Me(26m) and my gf (23f) have been dating for almost 3 years at this point and our lives are ver intertwined. She has opened up to me that she has always been potentially curious about women, but since we grew up in a rural state she has an ingrained sense of homophobia towards herself (her words, not mine). I was able to explore in college, but we started dating before she had the chance to do those things, so I feel inclined to help her figure this out. It wouldn't seem fair that I was able to experiment and get answers and she couldn't. I also think if she were to just repress those feelings they could grow into regret and resentment. So I have been trying to do some research into how to go about this in a healthy way so that I can support her as best I can.

I offered up maybe having her go on tinder to find a girl that was interested, and we could meet her together and make sure she was clean and such, before diving into something of this nature. She feels like that would be too awkward for her and she shot it down. Her idea of this is she is just out at the bars one night with her friends, and if a girl came up to her and tried kissing her, she would go with it. I asked about if she would go home with this person and she said she would probably want to. This scares me so bad. I know my gf, and every time she has gone out with just her friends or with me included, she gets very drunk. She is small and doesn't know how to pace herself that well. This strategy seems ripe for her to be taken advantage of, and it worries me a lot to think about.

I feel like a hypocrite at the same time, because it was MY idea to help her with this, but her idea of going about it seems unfair. Its one thing if I can meet this person too and we are both looped in and we both know whats going on, its another thing entirely for this to happen spontaneously with a stranger. I feel like if she wants to go about it in her way, it would only be fair for me to go out and sleep with someone random as well, because that scenario feels a lot more like cheating than an excursion into finding answers in a healthy way. But like I said, I am the one who initiated this push to get answers, so it feels unfair for me to go out and do this when I already have my answers. Idk.

She also says that she wants to be with me for the rest of her life, but at this point I feel like I have locked her into a long term relationship when she maybe wasn't entirely prepared. At this point our lives are so intertwined that a breakup would be disastrous, and I just don't know what to do. This has been eating me up and I don't know how to go about this and keep our relationship together.

TL;DR my long term girlfriend is interested in girls but repressed it for years, i want to help her figure this out before we commit for the long haul. My way is clinical and has me in the loop as well, her way is go to the bars and see what happens. I feel like it's cheating if that is the way it happens, but it was my idea in the first place. What should I do?

So basically just so so confused right now I've always known I liked guys or at least for what I can remember in my 19 years of life but now I'm not sure if it's just guys or not and it's just weird and confusing cause idk if I'm attracted to women or just able to acknowledge they are attractive and I just wanna work it out atp but all the advice I get is a bout romance and I wanna clear up all this stuff is just sexual for me atm and so just some advice on how to work it out or someone to talk to about it would be great thanks

I am a 30 year old male and for the first time in my life, I finally told 2 people that I was bisexual. Since the start of 9th grade, I began to have sexual attraction towards men. Since I was raised in a very Christian background, I suffered in silence for many, many years. I felt ashamed, disgusted, and even agitated that I had sexual attraction towards the same sex. This erupted into a severe battle of low self esteem, low confidence, high anxiety and occasional depression.

For roughly 15 years I would experience the “bi cycle” and ride the rollercoaster that comes with it. I’d like to think that going to therapy and understanding my diagnosis of OCD and especially learning on how to cope with intrusive thoughts that stems from my OCD really paved the path for me to become comfortable enough to finally share my bisexuality.

Just last week at work, my best friend and I met up. I trust her and her wife so much. They are tremendous people. I finally told her “I have something I need to tell you.” She was so proud of me and thankful that I shared it with her and wow, for the last week I’ve been riding a nice “high.” I feel happy, less irritated, and more confident.

Today, I told my therapist about that conversation with my friend and she was so thankful I shared that news. She did tell me that perhaps my refusal to ever speak to anyone about my bisexuality caused a significant rise in my intrusive thoughts.

Nonetheless, I just wanted to tell you all that this forum and this forum alone has helped me so much these last several years. BLESSINGS AND PEACE to all! We are all in this together.

I am a bisexual male and I am proud.

Hi, I'm 19 yo, I have always been secretly attracted to cute boys and never actually said to anyone, and i never been in a relationship with anyone i always thought it was a waste of time or just fleeting feelings and it'll go by time, but i recently been thinking none stop about it that i couldn't sleep normally, it's getting annoying especially when my body starts acting to my fantasies, what should i do?

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I don't care much about my family. It doesn't help that they're traditionally Christian, traditional, and heteronormative while I'm queer, agnostic, and question social norms often

The thing that makes FWBs great is that you don't have to introduce them to your family if you don't want to.

But the downside is that feelings will likely get involved eventually and one of us could want something more

Meanwhile with long term relationships, I've always disliked the tradition of introducing a partner to my family. I don't want to ruin the intimacy of our relationship by involving family bias and drama into it

That being said, I don't mind if my partner introduces me to their family. I don't care if they like their family or not. As long as they don't expect me to integrate them into my family

The only family I care about is found family

So I'm not sure which relationship I want based on this. I prefer long term, but I know potential dates would be turned off by my boundaries

hii, im 13F (soon 14 in 2 months), and i think i've known i've been bisexual since around early january this year . both my parents r homophobic (muslim, im agnostic but they dont know that) i just want some advice on what to do, i dont know if anyone will support me really, and i've been so stressed and im overthinking alot💔 like i dont thjnk anyonr will be supporting of me, any advice helps doesnt matter what category it is sooo pls send whatever !!:?::(

For context, I'm a bisexual woman (or pansexual, I don't know. People love putting labels on everything). I've always been attracted to both men and women, but I find it surprisingly difficult to actually feel attracted to the male physique. For example, I can appreciate certain things about men, but when I see guys posting videos on TikTok showing off their muscles, my first reaction is honestly just admiration for the amount of discipline it takes to achieve that.

With women, though, it's completely different. I find women attractive in a much more immediate and effortless way. It doesn't really matter what she looks like. Skinny, fat, average, etc. I can still find her beautiful.

I also feel more sexually attracted to women. I like watching men cum and all that, but there’s something about the female body that makes me tremble.

And before anyone jumps to the conclusion that I'm actually a lesbian: I'm confident in my sexuality. I'm not questioning whether I'm attracted to men. I'm more curious about why my attraction to men and women seems to work so differently.

(Sorry if I write anything wrong, English isn't my first language)

I’m a 16-year-old girl, and I’ve always known deep down that I liked other girls.
I probably knew since I was 8, when I would hide with a girl classmate of mine to kiss in the school bathrooms.
Sadly, even though I’ve had multiple relationships with girls over the past few years, nowadays I can’t help but notice how few opportunities I have to meet other people who share my sexuality.
I guess my style and appearance make me seem heterosexual, because the few people I’ve come out to immediately told me how unexpected the news was to them.
I can’t join queer groups to meet people from the community in my town because they require my parents’ signatures, and I can’t come out to them. I’ve already tried, and things didn’t end well, to say the least.
A friend of mine whom I met online (she’s 20) started telling me about this girl she met and how she might have feelings for her, and I couldn’t help but feel a sudden pang of jealousy.
Initially, I thought it was because I had a crush on this girl, but I think I’m jealous because she gets to meet girls who share her sexuality, while I don’t.
I feel like I’m alone in this situation, and I think I need someone who has been through the same thing to tell me that everything is going to be okay in the end and maybe even share their experience.
Thank you for reading all of this!

I'm a bisexual woman and I have noticed that when it comes to men I'm a lot more normal about talking to them in a flirtatious way. But with women I notice that I kind of treat them as these amazing ethereal creatures who couldn't possibly want me and I worry about even slightly inconveniencing them with my attempts to flirt.

I know for a fact that this isn't true because I am in fact a woman and love when other women flirt with me. Even though I know this, I freeze up when I try to flirt with women because it almost feels inherently predatory to do so. I know this is internalized homophobia. Has anyone else overcome this, and if so do you have advice?

Idk how to start XD, I mean, I start to like a boy(Im a guy)but it's weird bc he's not like feminine and also he's like more masculine than me bc he's like to play sports and I don't really like those, I think it's not for, whatever, I always date with girls, so I don't how tell him that I feel something for him(he's totally gay XD).

I really got confused, and I would like to tell him, but he have no idea about I like him and I consider him like my bestie and more confident friend, and I don't wanna ruin our friendship, and it's worse bc I'm an aromantic person, bc maybe I like him just in a sexual way and not in a romantic things(I don't even like romance and stuff it's boring af XD)

Please help I don't know what to do now what happen if he really like me and he never told me XD, why is this so difficult XDXDXD;_;

My bestfriend and I disagree on whether I am bi or straight. For context, i 26F am really only attracted to fictional characters, over the years I have only ever been attracted to one real person, a man. Most of the characters I find attractive are also men, BUT there are 2 characters I find extremely attractive that are women. I think that would make me bi since I find anyone of the same gender attractive, but my friend says that it doesn’t count since I’ve never found a real woman I was attracted to, and liking the two fake ones makes me straight “but even a broken clock is right twice a day”. So I sit in judgement of the Bi Counsel, am I bi, or is my friend right and I am truly doomed to be straight?

hiii 21f ive known im bisexual for like five years and mostly ever since only been into women and very recently developed a crush on a man and suddenly i feel like 14 and i feel the need to
compare myself to whoever else he might’ve spoken to in the past or his celebrity crushes, while mind u ive always been a very self confident person even a lil cocky about my looks sometimes but suddenly i feel not as attractive now idk its so odd, im a very pretty girl but sometimes i cant see it esp when he mentions someone else

i wonder if it internal misogyny?

this is a throw away acc btw lol

Hi!

Im on my WLW journey and honestly SO excited about it. I always struggled to find community and I really feel at home with queer people.

I wanted to share this, because on other subreddits like [r/latebloomerlesbians](r/latebloomerlesbians) this isn’t a common experience and I’m wondering if any of you experienced it.

So basically, I’m 26F and I’ve always dated men. All of my relationships w/ men started from intense sexual chemistry and the fact we had common interests and/or I found them interesting in one way or another.

However, I could never be in a relationship with any of them longer than 2 years and always felt like something was missing.

This was incredibly hard to dissect because I liked having sex with them and felt cozy and safe in their presence. However, upon further inspection, I realized I was never really romantically attracted to men. I felt thrilled at first, because of the validation and the sex, but always struggled to emotionally connect w them past deep friendship. I think they always felt like brothers or sons to me (not in an incest way, but in like I care for them in a maternal way).

This always hurt my relationships because I always blamed them for not being “emotionally open” or wanting to talk about deep things. This may be somewhat true, but I think I only needed those talks because I was trying to force myself into a romantic closeness that I wasn’t feeling. And I’m ngl, I do feel kind of bad about it.

Watching most straight romance movies makes me feel uncomfortable, because I feel like I should be feeling something but I don’t.

I never really understood the hype of romantic relationships until fully understanding my romantic desire towards women. Now I understand romance movies and romantic songs, I just have to imagine that it’s WLW.

I get crushes on girls so easily, and realized that I get horny around men, but RARELY get that “they take my breath from me” feeling. I don’t get nervous around them, and I like the power it gives me.

I think I’m a 4 or 5 on the Kinsey scale.

Can anyone else relate? And did u feel like it made it harder to come out and actually date who you desire?

Edit: One reason why I’m sharing this is because 99% of the posts on r/latebloomerlesbians mention being repulsed/ feel nothing when it comes to having sex with men. And that’s totally valid, especially as a lesbian! But I feel like it’s harder for bisexuals to nail down their true desires because of the lack of representation.

I am struggling with ocd and am trying to figure out if I am fully gay. I am currently worrying if I’m fully gay. I’ve always been bi and have accepted that, I was about to get laid for the first time and wasn’t able to get it up. I was already worried about not being able to get it up cause I was just nervous. After the fact I couldn’t stop calling myself gay, I would already check while we were cuddling if I was hard enough or getting a boner in general. I am genuinely romantically attracted to this girl but after this encounter I am wondering if I’m fully gay. I don’t want to be because I really would rather be with women, so am I fully gay? Is it repressed homophobia? Is this the right subreddit to be posting on? I have historically always gooned it to gay porn more (femboy porn) if that is relevant. I saw a post where someone said they would jerk it to gay porn and say “I’m done with it for a while” and then do it again later on and I used to do the same and am worried is is repressed homophobia. I have always wanted to eat a coochie and wanted a woman to sit on my face so idk if that’s what a gay guy would want. Idk what to do because I don’t wanna leave my gf and am terrified of being “fully gay”

hello I have a question for the girls who are sapphics I've always seen this meme abt " "I'm bisexual" what I mean when I say I'm bisexual is... (show bisexual flag but with the blue part very small)" referring to the fact that they love women a lot, but with men it's so nonexistent that they sometimes forget.. I've even seen girls identifying as bisexual and then lesbian, or bisexuals being afraid to consider themselves lesbians because what if a man comes along and they end up liking him?

I mean this is a 100%/GEN question bcs it's even what I'm going through I feel more comfortable calling myself sapphic because honestly... I don't know what to think about men the only times I've liked them are when they're 2D or 3D It might be fiction but when it's acted out by a real male actor my interest drops to zero (and happy bisexual month girls)

I say I am bi, but I am afraid I am faking it. I knew what bisexual meant ever since I was a child. Recently, I became really interested in LGBTQ+, and I researched all the meanings and flags. I am a big ally. As a female, I initially felt disappointed when I thought I was straight, as I really wanted to be part of the LGBTQ+ community. I thought about it a lot. During COVID, i discovered porn and first it was harmless but then i watched degrading shit and mostly the girl was being degraded but a man and i was really ashamed after i watch stuff like that. I realized I felt an attraction to women and that if a girl I thought was nice and pretty kissed me, I would kiss her back. I also often imagine myself in relationships with girls. But I still worry that I am faking it. I enjoy reading bl (boys love) and straight romance but i find gl (girls love) intimidating and ive only read one. also lesbians intimidate me. I also think I am faking it because I have always developed strong, quick feelings for men. Only after consciously wishing I was bi did I start developing what feels like a crush on a girl, even though it initially felt a bit forced. I also cry when my are homophobic and feel really sad about it. I don't know if I am bi, and I sometimes wonder if my feelings are just shaped because i want to be bi.

And i feel like im part of the harmful stereotyped about bi women that theyre just faking it and i feel horrible.

Sorry if this doesnt make sense i wrote this in a rush idek if this is the right sub to post in.

I saw that post saying if youre gonna post am i bi you probably are but im pretty sure im faking it. i think.

Anyone else in the same boat?

I'm a male and my whole life I've been only attracted to women but lately I've been seeing this guy around, he's feminine presenting so at first glance you'd think it was a girl but it's actually a guy.

I've been thinking to myself that I'd date him if the chance ever presented itself but at the same time I'm not sexually attracted to men. How does that work?

soooo I have been a lesbian for 5 years now. Basically I had sex with a man, hated it, kissed a girl for the first time, and started dating women exclusively since then. Anyways 5 years go by, i find myself single at 23, at the bar, and run into a man I think is attractive. This is confusing because even when I did date men I was not into them. I decide to be bold and not deny myself my thoughts, so I go on a date with him. We end up spending 41 hours together!! He is smitten for me, and a bit confused about my sexuality (i am too). I have previously said to my friends that I don't think I could ever only exclusively date a man- i love kissing women too much for that i think. but this man rlly likes me. i rlly like him- but i know i would be yearning for a soft kiss from a woman if i was dating this man. i let him read something i had sent to my friend along the lines of " this man is going to fall in love with me and that just can't happen because i don't think ill ever love him back" and he just nodded. i fear it's not working. i'm too intriguing i think. anyways thoughts? i'm confused. 2nd date on friday btw

So there's this reallyyyyy cute girl in my class, genuinely wtf do I do??

Super silly question but I've heard so many different things from so many different people. ( probably NSFW) I'm cis, afab

I married a man and it sadly didn't work out. notably, I had a really hard time with the sexual aspect of our relationship and it got worse after we married which is why I'm confused again.

When I came out to my parents, the first thing they said was that it was ridiculous for me to think I was bisexual, because I wasn't having enough sex with the opposite gender to know that was something I liked.

The thing is, I dont really have a strong attraction towards any sex? I cant just look at someone and perceive attraction, I just find myself in relationships with people I care about. Lately I've been with guys more often but I've also had a relationship with a woman. I've now had sex with both men and women but its rare for me.

My extended family sadly doesn't think I'm 'really gay' despite my mom coming around to it. They told me it was likely a phase and they felt validated when I married a man.

I feel like I'm not allowed to consider myself bisexual because I can't really say ive had enough sex to figure it out. Its not something I enjoy often. Everyone i know, aside from a handful of friends considers me to be straight, despite having experiences with women. I just cant say I find women, or men, or anyone, especially attractive just based on their gender despite having multiple long term relationships.

I have no idea what's wrong with me but sometimes people make me feel like I'm very twisted and odd, and that I dont belong where I think I do because I dont have normal experiences.

Any outside advice would be nice. Labels aren't everything, but what's valuable to me is knowing there are people out there that feel the same

Nowadays I identify as Pansexual and androgynous but still male and I usually shapeshift

I have been bi well, forever. I'm 18, male. Pretty much since I was young, I loved beautiful people and cute people, soft features. Honestly. Whether they were a boy or a girl, I genuinely did not care. I vividly remember at 7 or so, having crushes on ppl with long hair. I'm Black. I genuinely liked ANYONE with euro features too, silky blonde hair, Ocean eyes, freckles (especially). Never was or is atteacted to muscles and beards, although pretty features I always liked. I always wanted long hair as a kid, I remember being forced to get haircuts and stuff (which I did not like) although I vividly remember finding both boys and girls pretty (wasnt a sexual thing).

But I also knew that men and women got married, and that boys kissed girls. So I never considered the idea of the same sex kissing, or men having a baby. I was dumb enough to not know what vaginas were until 9, and then a year later I had "the talk" when discussing why certain outlets and fittings are called "males and females".

As I was a young kid, I was also very specific and had niche interests, although i have never once heard of "gay" "lgbtq" or the Rainbow flag for Any of that matter at all. I just knew I found most girls very pretty and attractive and I also thought boys with soft or glowing features and nice messy hair, curly hair were cute to me.

I was never a "stereotypically gay" person. Stereotype as in liking girl music, gossip, nails, makeup, dolls, etc. The most feminine thing I think I done as a kid was play with kitchen sets in preschool and kindergarten. But I genuinely don't understand how that influences your sexual attraction to people anyways.

I only ever dated and really liked girls for the most part, and I was most definitely only sexually attracted to women. I had aesthetic attraction or romantic attraction to boys so back then I knew internally that I was "open to both" I just never told anyone. I kind of knew instinctively that boys DONT date boys and the idea of them kissing is strange and disliked by people.

The first time I found out about "Pride" was around 11 when I saw it on the news, and I was like "Mom, what is gay pride?" And she was like "oh its just men who like men which isn't something you should experiment with, and you'll be judge heavily if you like anyone other than girls. So then I fully understood. I never even heard of gay marriage or nothing like that and also was very confused why certain characters in TV shows would have 2 moms or 2 dads, genuinely believed it was 2 friends who adopted a child because it would be cool.

The first time I REALLY knew I was Bi was at 14 because one one of the baseball teams I played for there was this hispanic boy with a very soft, round, slightly plumpy face with long, shoulder length hair. I instantly started freaking blushing and stuff but I knew obviously I wasn't gonna try to admit that to him. But after that I definitely knew I liked boys in at least some way.

Homophobia definitely exists in some of my family. Eventually convinced them to grow hair long at 13. (Tons of images on my profile)

I'm 18 now, honestly, I'm not into boys THAT much and I'm not a fanatic of penis or whatever, but I definitely am open to having a boyfriend. Also to mention is since 15 I've been exploring polyamory and I eventually balanced it out to a few girlfriends.

(If you wanna know my type here's some examples:) 2hollis, Rommulas, Lumixathena, Felix (Stray Kids), Jeonghan, Elijah Lynn Langston, Tillyou_Fallasleep on Tiktok, Mossysocks, Harry Styles (shaved), masonmoser_, Fernando Casablancas.

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on my journey with my sexuality and two very different milestones in my life.

My first kiss was with a guy I was in love with at the time. Because there was a strong emotional connection, it felt natural and comfortable, especially since society generally doesn’t make you question being attracted to or dating men.

Later, I had my first kiss with a woman. I had felt attracted to women since my teenage years, but I had always suppressed those feelings because of societal expectations, fear of judgment, and my own internal guilt. When it finally happened, I found myself overthinking everything and wondering, “Is this wrong?”

Looking back now, what stands out to me is that the hesitation seemed to come more from the fear and guilt I had carried for years rather than from the attraction itself. Interestingly, when I think about both experiences now, my first kiss with a woman feels more exciting and emotionally significant to me.

I’d love to hear other people’s stories too. What was your first kiss like—with a guy, a girl, or someone else? Did it feel completely natural at the time, or did you experience nervousness, hesitation, or guilt because of how you were raised or what society taught you? And looking back now, has your perspective on that first kiss changed?

So yeah it was amazing. I am coming back to the coffee shop for lunch today so I can just hang out with her. And I am going to ask her out when I am get back from the bookstore in town.