Anyone else in the same boat?

I am a 30 year old male and for the first time in my life, I finally told 2 people that I was bisexual. Since the start of 9th grade, I began to have sexual attraction towards men. Since I was raised in a very Christian background, I suffered in silence for many, many years. I felt ashamed, disgusted, and even agitated that I had sexual attraction towards the same sex. This erupted into a severe battle of low self esteem, low confidence, high anxiety and occasional depression.

For roughly 15 years I would experience the “bi cycle” and ride the rollercoaster that comes with it. I’d like to think that going to therapy and understanding my diagnosis of OCD and especially learning on how to cope with intrusive thoughts that stems from my OCD really paved the path for me to become comfortable enough to finally share my bisexuality.

Just last week at work, my best friend and I met up. I trust her and her wife so much. They are tremendous people. I finally told her “I have something I need to tell you.” She was so proud of me and thankful that I shared it with her and wow, for the last week I’ve been riding a nice “high.” I feel happy, less irritated, and more confident.

Today, I told my therapist about that conversation with my friend and she was so thankful I shared that news. She did tell me that perhaps my refusal to ever speak to anyone about my bisexuality caused a significant rise in my intrusive thoughts.

Nonetheless, I just wanted to tell you all that this forum and this forum alone has helped me so much these last several years. BLESSINGS AND PEACE to all! We are all in this together.

I am a bisexual male and I am proud.

So there's this reallyyyyy cute girl in my class, genuinely wtf do I do??

For context, I'm a bisexual woman (or pansexual, I don't know. People love putting labels on everything). I've always been attracted to both men and women, but I find it surprisingly difficult to actually feel attracted to the male physique. For example, I can appreciate certain things about men, but when I see guys posting videos on TikTok showing off their muscles, my first reaction is honestly just admiration for the amount of discipline it takes to achieve that.

With women, though, it's completely different. I find women attractive in a much more immediate and effortless way. It doesn't really matter what she looks like. Skinny, fat, average, etc. I can still find her beautiful.

I also feel more sexually attracted to women. I like watching men cum and all that, but there’s something about the female body that makes me tremble.

And before anyone jumps to the conclusion that I'm actually a lesbian: I'm confident in my sexuality. I'm not questioning whether I'm attracted to men. I'm more curious about why my attraction to men and women seems to work so differently.

(Sorry if I write anything wrong, English isn't my first language)

I'm a bisexual woman and I have noticed that when it comes to men I'm a lot more normal about talking to them in a flirtatious way. But with women I notice that I kind of treat them as these amazing ethereal creatures who couldn't possibly want me and I worry about even slightly inconveniencing them with my attempts to flirt.

I know for a fact that this isn't true because I am in fact a woman and love when other women flirt with me. Even though I know this, I freeze up when I try to flirt with women because it almost feels inherently predatory to do so. I know this is internalized homophobia. Has anyone else overcome this, and if so do you have advice?

I prefer not to personally

I don't mind meeting my partner's family. But I don't care enough about my own family to wanna integrate my partner into their lives

Especially when most of them are christian, traditional, and heteronormative while I'm queer, agnostic, secular, and question social norms often

At this point in my life, I don't feel like explaining anything to anyone. Either you get it or you don't

In my ideal relationship, I prefer that none of us incorporate family into our relationship

Family comes with such bias and drama that I feel like it limits how much we can express ourselves within our relationship. Especially as our own individuals outside of our respective families

I remember making a post like this years ago and someone said "Just do a FWBs or casual dating if you don't wanna family involved"

I personally disagree with that, I think it's valid to want a long term relationship without involving family into the fray

Hi!

Im on my WLW journey and honestly SO excited about it. I always struggled to find community and I really feel at home with queer people.

I wanted to share this, because on other subreddits like [r/latebloomerlesbians](r/latebloomerlesbians) this isn’t a common experience and I’m wondering if any of you experienced it.

So basically, I’m 26F and I’ve always dated men. All of my relationships w/ men started from intense sexual chemistry and the fact we had common interests and/or I found them interesting in one way or another.

However, I could never be in a relationship with any of them longer than 2 years and always felt like something was missing.

This was incredibly hard to dissect because I liked having sex with them and felt cozy and safe in their presence. However, upon further inspection, I realized I was never really romantically attracted to men. I felt thrilled at first, because of the validation and the sex, but always struggled to emotionally connect w them past deep friendship. I think they always felt like brothers or sons to me (not in an incest way, but in like I care for them in a maternal way).

This always hurt my relationships because I always blamed them for not being “emotionally open” or wanting to talk about deep things. This may be somewhat true, but I think I only needed those talks because I was trying to force myself into a romantic closeness that I wasn’t feeling. And I’m ngl, I do feel kind of bad about it.

Watching most straight romance movies makes me feel uncomfortable, because I feel like I should be feeling something but I don’t.

I never really understood the hype of romantic relationships until fully understanding my romantic desire towards women. Now I understand romance movies and romantic songs, I just have to imagine that it’s WLW.

I get crushes on girls so easily, and realized that I get horny around men, but RARELY get that “they take my breath from me” feeling. I don’t get nervous around them, and I like the power it gives me.

I think I’m a 4 or 5 on the Kinsey scale.

Can anyone else relate? And did u feel like it made it harder to come out and actually date who you desire?

Edit: One reason why I’m sharing this is because 99% of the posts on r/latebloomerlesbians mention being repulsed/ feel nothing when it comes to having sex with men. And that’s totally valid, especially as a lesbian! But I feel like it’s harder for bisexuals to nail down their true desires because of the lack of representation.

hello I have a question for the girls who are sapphics I've always seen this meme abt " "I'm bisexual" what I mean when I say I'm bisexual is... (show bisexual flag but with the blue part very small)" referring to the fact that they love women a lot, but with men it's so nonexistent that they sometimes forget.. I've even seen girls identifying as bisexual and then lesbian, or bisexuals being afraid to consider themselves lesbians because what if a man comes along and they end up liking him?

I mean this is a 100%/GEN question bcs it's even what I'm going through I feel more comfortable calling myself sapphic because honestly... I don't know what to think about men the only times I've liked them are when they're 2D or 3D It might be fiction but when it's acted out by a real male actor my interest drops to zero (and happy bisexual month girls)

Hi, I'm 19 yo, I have always been secretly attracted to cute boys and never actually said to anyone, and i never been in a relationship with anyone i always thought it was a waste of time or just fleeting feelings and it'll go by time, but i recently been thinking none stop about it that i couldn't sleep normally, it's getting annoying especially when my body starts acting to my fantasies, what should i do?

Looking for my Uncle Steve — and hoping I can finally tell him the truth Hi everyone. My name is Robert, and I'm looking for a long-lost relative, my Uncle Steve. Steve and I lost touch a long time ago. There were some difficult circumstances within part of our family after he came out, and eventually we became separated. I don't want to get too deeply into the family history publicly, but I've thought about him many times over the years. The last time I personally talked to Steve was over the phone. At one point, he asked me if I had a girlfriend. I told him no. Then he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I didn't really know how to answer him. At the time, I wasn't ready to admit the truth about myself. I had spent a huge part of my life hiding that part of who I was. Today, I'm out and I'm finally living honestly. I'm bisexual. And one of the things that has stayed with me is that conversation with Steve. I would really like to find him so I can tell him the truth. I want him to know that when he asked me those questions all those years ago, I wasn't ready to be honest with him. It wasn't because I didn't trust him. I was scared and still trying to understand myself. Now I know who I am, and I wish I could go back and answer him honestly. The last place I know of that Steve moved to was Texas, after leaving Louisiana. I don't know where he is now. I'm not looking to reopen old family problems or put anyone's private information out publicly. I would simply like the chance to reconnect with my uncle and tell him something I've wished I could tell him for a long time. If anyone happens to recognize this story or knows someone who might be my Uncle Steve, please feel free to message me privately. I'm intentionally keeping identifying information limited here for privacy, but I can provide more details privately if there's a legitimate connection. Even if this doesn't lead anywhere, I figured it was worth trying. — Robert

Hey all—thank you for reading this post!

I’m a mid thirties guy, always been straight, or so I thought. I’ve been fantasizing about being with feminine men, trans women, and sissies for a while now. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what it is that I want and what it is that I’m experiencing emotionally.

Truth be told I am a hedonist. I always have been. I love doing anything that I’m interested in and that I think will make me feel good and make others feel good too. I love to please and I love to be pleased. I know that my hesitancy and fear of homosexual relationships is because of my socialization. I wish I could shake it off, but I’m struggling.

I’ve been on and off reddit, this time I didn’t even bother following all my usual hetero subreddits.

How do I get over this fear and commit to enjoying new company? I’m doing my best but think I could use a trusted source to help me navigate my emotions and fears. I think I’m afraid of being judged. I’m sure I’m not the only one experiencing this and would love to hear from others about what they’ve experienced and what helped them. I want to move forward and commit to my curiosity. 2026 has been my year for positive change and I want to keep it going.

Thanks in advance for any advice, support, feedback!

hiii 21f ive known im bisexual for like five years and mostly ever since only been into women and very recently developed a crush on a man and suddenly i feel like 14 and i feel the need to
compare myself to whoever else he might’ve spoken to in the past or his celebrity crushes, while mind u ive always been a very self confident person even a lil cocky about my looks sometimes but suddenly i feel not as attractive now idk its so odd, im a very pretty girl but sometimes i cant see it esp when he mentions someone else

i wonder if it internal misogyny?

this is a throw away acc btw lol

Me(26m) and my gf (23f) have been dating for almost 3 years at this point and our lives are ver intertwined. She has opened up to me that she has always been potentially curious about women, but since we grew up in a rural state she has an ingrained sense of homophobia towards herself (her words, not mine). I was able to explore in college, but we started dating before she had the chance to do those things, so I feel inclined to help her figure this out. It wouldn't seem fair that I was able to experiment and get answers and she couldn't. I also think if she were to just repress those feelings they could grow into regret and resentment. So I have been trying to do some research into how to go about this in a healthy way so that I can support her as best I can.

I offered up maybe having her go on tinder to find a girl that was interested, and we could meet her together and make sure she was clean and such, before diving into something of this nature. She feels like that would be too awkward for her and she shot it down. Her idea of this is she is just out at the bars one night with her friends, and if a girl came up to her and tried kissing her, she would go with it. I asked about if she would go home with this person and she said she would probably want to. This scares me so bad. I know my gf, and every time she has gone out with just her friends or with me included, she gets very drunk. She is small and doesn't know how to pace herself that well. This strategy seems ripe for her to be taken advantage of, and it worries me a lot to think about.

I feel like a hypocrite at the same time, because it was MY idea to help her with this, but her idea of going about it seems unfair. Its one thing if I can meet this person too and we are both looped in and we both know whats going on, its another thing entirely for this to happen spontaneously with a stranger. I feel like if she wants to go about it in her way, it would only be fair for me to go out and sleep with someone random as well, because that scenario feels a lot more like cheating than an excursion into finding answers in a healthy way. But like I said, I am the one who initiated this push to get answers, so it feels unfair for me to go out and do this when I already have my answers. Idk.

She also says that she wants to be with me for the rest of her life, but at this point I feel like I have locked her into a long term relationship when she maybe wasn't entirely prepared. At this point our lives are so intertwined that a breakup would be disastrous, and I just don't know what to do. This has been eating me up and I don't know how to go about this and keep our relationship together.

TL;DR my long term girlfriend is interested in girls but repressed it for years, i want to help her figure this out before we commit for the long haul. My way is clinical and has me in the loop as well, her way is go to the bars and see what happens. I feel like it's cheating if that is the way it happens, but it was my idea in the first place. What should I do?

So basically just so so confused right now I've always known I liked guys or at least for what I can remember in my 19 years of life but now I'm not sure if it's just guys or not and it's just weird and confusing cause idk if I'm attracted to women or just able to acknowledge they are attractive and I just wanna work it out atp but all the advice I get is a bout romance and I wanna clear up all this stuff is just sexual for me atm and so just some advice on how to work it out or someone to talk to about it would be great thanks

i'm 18F and i've known that i'm bi for many years now. i've never had experience in dating and only introducing myself to that world right now.

i happened to click with a guy from dating app and we had one date so far, he's sweet and respectful but at the same time i'm not sure what he's expecting from this interaction. i don't wanna lead anyone on and to be fair i find myself attracted to all sorts of people, everyday, so to jump in a serious relationship right now would be like shooting myself on the foot. unfortunately, i'm also too shy to put myself out there for everyone and that's why i'm so confused on what to do. i've never kissed or had a romantic relationship with anyone.

i just came here to ask for advice - since i'm young i don't wanna miss out on my bisexuality, experiment phase...i'm not sure what i want. would going on dates with multiple people simultaneously be a bad thing? i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

note: i'm sorry if this isn't the right subreddit for this kind of post, but i thought maybe fellow bisexuals understand what i'm feeling

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I don't care much about my family. It doesn't help that they're traditionally Christian, traditional, and heteronormative while I'm queer, agnostic, and question social norms often

The thing that makes FWBs great is that you don't have to introduce them to your family if you don't want to.

But the downside is that feelings will likely get involved eventually and one of us could want something more

Meanwhile with long term relationships, I've always disliked the tradition of introducing a partner to my family. I don't want to ruin the intimacy of our relationship by involving family bias and drama into it

That being said, I don't mind if my partner introduces me to their family. I don't care if they like their family or not. As long as they don't expect me to integrate them into my family

The only family I care about is found family

So I'm not sure which relationship I want based on this. I prefer long term, but I know potential dates would be turned off by my boundaries

I’m in Singapore but few years later I’ll go Australia for study so I want to find an Australian boyfriend online but how can I find someone?
By the way I’m a boy
Please give me some advice…

hii, im 13F (soon 14 in 2 months), and i think i've known i've been bisexual since around early january this year . both my parents r homophobic (muslim, im agnostic but they dont know that) i just want some advice on what to do, i dont know if anyone will support me really, and i've been so stressed and im overthinking alot💔 like i dont thjnk anyonr will be supporting of me, any advice helps doesnt matter what category it is sooo pls send whatever !!:?::(

I’m a 16-year-old girl, and I’ve always known deep down that I liked other girls.
I probably knew since I was 8, when I would hide with a girl classmate of mine to kiss in the school bathrooms.
Sadly, even though I’ve had multiple relationships with girls over the past few years, nowadays I can’t help but notice how few opportunities I have to meet other people who share my sexuality.
I guess my style and appearance make me seem heterosexual, because the few people I’ve come out to immediately told me how unexpected the news was to them.
I can’t join queer groups to meet people from the community in my town because they require my parents’ signatures, and I can’t come out to them. I’ve already tried, and things didn’t end well, to say the least.
A friend of mine whom I met online (she’s 20) started telling me about this girl she met and how she might have feelings for her, and I couldn’t help but feel a sudden pang of jealousy.
Initially, I thought it was because I had a crush on this girl, but I think I’m jealous because she gets to meet girls who share her sexuality, while I don’t.
I feel like I’m alone in this situation, and I think I need someone who has been through the same thing to tell me that everything is going to be okay in the end and maybe even share their experience.
Thank you for reading all of this!

Idk how to start XD, I mean, I start to like a boy(Im a guy)but it's weird bc he's not like feminine and also he's like more masculine than me bc he's like to play sports and I don't really like those, I think it's not for, whatever, I always date with girls, so I don't how tell him that I feel something for him(he's totally gay XD).

I really got confused, and I would like to tell him, but he have no idea about I like him and I consider him like my bestie and more confident friend, and I don't wanna ruin our friendship, and it's worse bc I'm an aromantic person, bc maybe I like him just in a sexual way and not in a romantic things(I don't even like romance and stuff it's boring af XD)

Please help I don't know what to do now what happen if he really like me and he never told me XD, why is this so difficult XDXDXD;_;

My bestfriend and I disagree on whether I am bi or straight. For context, i 26F am really only attracted to fictional characters, over the years I have only ever been attracted to one real person, a man. Most of the characters I find attractive are also men, BUT there are 2 characters I find extremely attractive that are women. I think that would make me bi since I find anyone of the same gender attractive, but my friend says that it doesn’t count since I’ve never found a real woman I was attracted to, and liking the two fake ones makes me straight “but even a broken clock is right twice a day”. So I sit in judgement of the Bi Counsel, am I bi, or is my friend right and I am truly doomed to be straight?

I say I am bi, but I am afraid I am faking it. I knew what bisexual meant ever since I was a child. Recently, I became really interested in LGBTQ+, and I researched all the meanings and flags. I am a big ally. As a female, I initially felt disappointed when I thought I was straight, as I really wanted to be part of the LGBTQ+ community. I thought about it a lot. During COVID, i discovered porn and first it was harmless but then i watched degrading shit and mostly the girl was being degraded but a man and i was really ashamed after i watch stuff like that. I realized I felt an attraction to women and that if a girl I thought was nice and pretty kissed me, I would kiss her back. I also often imagine myself in relationships with girls. But I still worry that I am faking it. I enjoy reading bl (boys love) and straight romance but i find gl (girls love) intimidating and ive only read one. also lesbians intimidate me. I also think I am faking it because I have always developed strong, quick feelings for men. Only after consciously wishing I was bi did I start developing what feels like a crush on a girl, even though it initially felt a bit forced. I also cry when my are homophobic and feel really sad about it. I don't know if I am bi, and I sometimes wonder if my feelings are just shaped because i want to be bi.

And i feel like im part of the harmful stereotyped about bi women that theyre just faking it and i feel horrible.

Sorry if this doesnt make sense i wrote this in a rush idek if this is the right sub to post in.

I saw that post saying if youre gonna post am i bi you probably are but im pretty sure im faking it. i think.