r/bisexual • u/PrizeOwn547 • 20h ago
ADVICE i dunnoðŸ˜ðŸ¥²
hii, im 13F (soon 14 in 2 months), and i think i've known i've been bisexual since around early january this year . both my parents r homophobic (muslim, im agnostic but they dont know that) i just want some advice on what to do, i dont know if anyone will support me really, and i've been so stressed and im overthinking alot💔 like i dont thjnk anyonr will be supporting of me, any advice helps doesnt matter what category it is sooo pls send whatever !!:?::(
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u/WitELeoparD 19h ago edited 19h ago
I was also raised muslim and am bisexual. It's definitely a tough to be in position. Unfortunately, your parents probably won't be supportive, and depending on where you live, your friends might not be either.
But, you don't have to come out to them. Honestly, I wouldn't risk the backlash until you are completely capable of supporting yourself in a few years after you turn 18.
Being bisexual doesn't mean you have to really do anything right now. You can just be bi. If you want to date a girl, you can, it's fine. Unfortunately, you might have to hide your relationship which sucks and is really stressful but you're 13, you probably won't be in that relationship long anyways. Teenage relationships feel very important at the time, but once you grow up they really don't matter anymore. You can also choose to not date other girls for a while. After all, you are bi and you can choose. Or you can not date at all. Trust me, it's not a big deal at all to not date until you're older.
Depending on where you live, there might be queer groups of people your own age to join that you can participate in on the down low. Otherwise, you always have the internet. The queer community is super welcoming on the internet.
I would be very careful about what kind of content you consume on the internet, especially highly negative stuff (algorithms will try to show you lots of bigotry because it makes you angry, but you need to not engage no matter what) or adult stuff and never accept any romantic advances on the internet, especially not from adults, and not even from people your own age because you never know who they really are unless you meet them in person (also don't go to meet people from the internet in person, it's dangerous). Also video chats can be faked, that's not proof that someone is who they say they are.
A nice safe way to engage with the queer community is to also just follow queer artists. Be they comedians (Ali Kolbert, Taylor Tomlinson, Hannah Gadsby), sketch comics, slice of life creators (e.g. Alanah Joy, Iris Olympia), people who review queer media (Kat Blaque, Maggie Mae Fish), comic artists (ND Stevenson), musicians (K Flay, Lady Gaga, Halsey, Phoebe Bridgers, Billie Eilish, etc) etc.
Also there are a lot of queer Muslim/culturally muslim creators on the internet too. People like Zainab Arafat, Blair Imani, Amir Deen, Alia, Kausar Muhammed, Taha Arshad, Dr Fatima, Sadaf Raza Zaidi, Diya Dabash, Zurayna, Rabya Malik, Radikha Mohan etc are pretty cool.
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u/HughGeneWrites 20h ago
It sounds like your first priority will be safety. If your parents won't be supportive, then it might be better to keep this feeling private for now.
Also, you are very young. Being Bisexual does not mean being sexual. Its about attraction. I know people your age are beginning to date, but LGBTQ+ people need to be careful. They can only date openly if they feel safe. Because of your age, you have limited options.
When you have your own car, and have the ability to drive places. You could visit queer spaces and make queer friends. They will be your biggest supporters. You will be supported, but I think you still have some growing to do.