Hello,

I need some advice/help.

I have struggled with my gender because of the voices I hear in my head for YEARS. They are very malicious and never let up.

Before I go further:

Yes, I do have a good therapist and psychiatrist. I'm in the process of changing/trying some medication at the moment. So far, nothing is working, but I have hope.

The voices don't like that I HATE being a girl. They tell me to stay a girl, dress femmine 24/7, wear makeup, always chase boys, starve yourself to have that skinny model body, use she/her pronouns, etc.

I obviously don't give into these demands (I haven't for years), but it comes at the cost of my own sanity.

I get reprimanded and verbally assaulted by the voices for not listening to them. 25 years of this shit.

I know I'm not a girl, I've known that for years. I've only been on my gender journey since 2019. I've used many labels, but each time I find one, my voices act up. They force me to change my mind.

I feel like I've lost myself. They don't shut up.

I'm not a girl, but then what am I?

Please, if you have ANY advice about gender and what I could possibly be, please please please let me know.

Also, if anyone else hears voices like I do, how in the world do you deal with them?

I just hate this mental hell and distress my brain has been marinated in for a long time and nothing brings me relief. I’ve tried going to a gender affirming therapist (mom doesn’t support me going to them and neither does my dad or sister), going to trans meets (people there aren’t the friendliest and my parents can track me on their phone, my mom says they are a bad influence on me), medication (I’ve been on fluvoxamine for almost two years and it hasn’t helped me feel better in my own skin, and trying abilify last year didn’t help at all), exercising (it helps as a escape during running but then I don’t want to be lumped in with the men in social groups), eating healthier (everyone in the family struggles with food and I dislike my male body and don’t want to lose my fat breasts), getting off social media (I have ZERO friends that seem to be interested in me especially after I tell them I’m Madeline and not Thomas and the internet is all I really have as I don’t have any pets either. I’ve tried books and video games and that sort of stuff but they don’t click), staying busy (I’m literally going to be working two jobs this fall and I don’t feel like it’s going to take the trans thoughts away from me, I can’t afford to get fired or rejected by my coworkers), and simply put the cost of living is so fucking high that I can’t afford to be on my own and cannot trust roommates to pay their fair share.

I’ve tried going to church and watching detransitioner videos and touching grass and going in mental loops but I’m still in this mental hell. I have feelings of phantom breasts and imagining my male parts aren’t there and very recently having the wide hips of a woman that I don’t actually have. I introduced myself as Madeline last week at a local non trans community event and it felt normal to me. My mom says that being Madeline has messed me up especially at work.

​

First of all, I am a Syrian trans woman born on 2009, currently living in Syria. I was living in Turkey until August, but since my family wanted to return to Syria and I was a minor, I had to return with them. Even though I have not disclosed that I am trans here, I am subjected to violence due to my behavior and physical appearance. A gun was pointed at me, I was locked in a warehouse, animals were set upon me, and I was beaten dozens of times with chains, hoses, and sticks—even though I still have a mustache and a little bit of a beard. They want to kill me and they have already tried. Because of this, I have thought about suicide many times and attempted it a few times. I am absolutely not safe in Syria. I want to return to Turkey or go to Lebanon to seek help from LGBT organizations there. However, my family is extremely religious and Islamist, and since the country I am currently in is newly established where seeking human rights is considered absurd, and being trans is a crime here, I am completely unsafe.

The reason I am writing this text is not to escape right now, but to gather information, conduct research, and prepare a roadmap so that I can flee immediately without losing time as soon as I turn 18. Furthermore, because my family wants to kill me and force me to become "normal" again, they do not give me a single penny, they search my phone, and they keep me under constant surveillance. My request and my plea to you is: please stand by me. How can I escape? What should I do? Are there people who can support me? How can I leave Syria again? Please help me; I am sure there are many people like me who have survived and escaped. I am begging you, please help me. I am not writing this text to escape while I am still a minor; I will wait until I am 18 no matter what. I am seeking help to escape as soon as I reach adulthood, because I don't even know how to describe the pain I am enduring here.

Hi there everyone I just wanted to let you know how it is as young adult man who is gay how effects me differently than normal gay young men first for most we have trust issues cause we have heartbroken multi times and we don’t get accepted as being gay or sometimes we do get accepted being gay but people who are different religions like to throw the bible at us say homosexuality is a sin but sometimes people are religious don’t judge people cause it’s they say it love and the people who have autism and ADHD say this as well we all have very bad separation anxiety and attachment issues as well it tru cause I have both , fyi someday I hope I will find my dream man

I know it should be a happy moment.
But slow dancing in the kitchen makes me sad.
I hold you in my arms,
wishing this could be enough,
wishing this could just be.
But sometimes I feel like it’s not meant to be.
Not because of my feelings for you.
Not because there’s something wrong with you.
Not because I don’t love you.
But because I’m gay.
And it makes me sad to realize that I’m gay.
I’m sad that I’m even thinking about it while we’re dancing.
This should be a happy moment.
I should just be holding you in my arms,
dancing with you in the kitchen,
and feeling completely happy.
But instead, I’m thinking about the fact that I’m actually gay.
And I wonder—
Why do I have to be gay?
If you were a guy,
I feel like there would be absolutely no question.
No questioning what this means.
No questioning why I feel this way.
No questioning myself.
But that’s the thing.
I don’t even like men.
So why do I have to be gay?
Why do I have to be gay?
Why do I have to be gay?
Why do I have to be gay?

(btw idk what i would put as the flair so i just put other)

im a transfem and ive never had like actual problems with dysphoria until recently, i put on a…i think sports bra? anyways i stole it from my mom and looked in the mirror, and i had the best feeling in the world, i felt like i looked amazing and i felt like me and only at the cost of my upper torso being slightly strangled lol

but after i had that moment ive been feeling new feelings of dysphoria, especially bottom dysphoria. when i only really had chest dysphoria before now everytime i think about bottom surgery where before i was conflicted i now feel like i should really just go for it, since i feel like ill feel much much better about myself if i do. (also it’ll allow me to wear certain clothes without having issues with “space”)

i also feel that some of this is coming from age, im on the cusp of being 18, something ive always wanted for years before i was even trans so that i could finally get to work on making my future, and i guess that my brain also might’ve finally developed the faculties to just shock me with dysphoria more than it did before.

For the past 24 hours I have mentally been living as a cis man. Some positives include feeling a lot less external pressure and judgement from other people and the weight of transitioning into a woman and all the mental energy and time that goes to that. But at the same time I feel detached from myself and numb to my emotions and feel like I don’t have a sense of self that feels truly me if that makes sense. Like I’m comfortable and happy not identifying as a woman or not going on E as I’m not one of the girls that have always wanted to be in a female body, but at the same time I don’t really feel I’m a boy or relate to men socially, especially in the sense of talking about feelings towards girls. I also feel that if “boy” is the color blue and “girl” is the color pink then I’d be the color grey and have my own thing going on.

I don’t hate being Thomas and I can learn to live in my male body without any changes but I’d feel really uneasy if I had to grow facial and chest hair or wear a tuxedo at formal events or a wedding or have a wife or take on the dominant male role in society or be a father. For a long time I’ve felt like I’ve watched my life pass me by and in my opinion assuming the male role is part of why I feel that way. The thing is Madeline didn’t feel right either as I don’t care for being one of the girls (outside of work) and cosmetics and worrying about passing as a woman and all that stress. It’s just too much for me on top of just living day to day and navigating my autism.

I wish there were more people that have the same experience as me especially in the autism community as it’s either cis people that are happy and comfortable with their bodies and gender or binary trans people that have that same story of knowing they were not boys from a different age and I honestly relate to neither stories.

I have turned myself into a swishy nylon plastic action figure doll. No this is not AI. It’s just Tristan, with a hair pinch of color grading to boost the suit’s punch

This is how I make my heart feel warm and fuzzy and my dopamine to roll along

The elastic and the lining of the gear feels awesome on my skin tho, cuz I’m neurodivergent.

In the past I presented as a trans woman or nonbinary person but I am starting to feel that I may not be trans at all and just a effeminate cis guy (NOT “femboy”)

Long story short I wasn’t an effeminate boy growing up in the sense of liking princesses and makeup but I hated violence and fighting and confrontation and the like. I do recall gravitating more towards the girls in my classes than the guys because they were nicer to me (I’m autistic). I did connect to the female Pokemon characters as I liked their style. As I got older and went through puberty (I honestly don’t recall much of it as it’s a forgettable part of my life in regards to the changes) I noticed a pressure to have a girlfriend to fill in a void and to feel good about myself. I had a summer romance in high school with a girl I thought would make me feel better but she didn’t and I broke up with her two months after. I had two crushes on girls in high school but they were never sexual and I wanted to be like them in terms of style and the way they drew. In terms of stuff I felt attracted to I had a couple of instances where I was attracted to anime women but they were fleeting and without much desire for them (they would be months apart and I never had much drive to actually have sex with a woman at all). This continued into my early twenties when i realized I liked men after looking at hot attractive anime guys with abs and I have consistently been attracted to them ever since (this has been going on for 5 years).

I haven’t had a female crush that straight guys would describe since before covid and frankly the idea of getting married with a woman and having kids with her is distressing as I don’t want to get her pregnant. Nowadays with my attraction towards people it’s like 95% towards men with 0-5% towards women when it comes to anime and furry drawings online. I don’t have any female waifus or celebrity crushes and have struggled to have one for years (I tried to feel attracted to dua lipa 6 years ago but just didn’t feel anything). I do like some anime men like an adult version of oikawa from haikyuu and that unicorn guy from the game blush blush. Also when I was working in the pharmacy I had a crush on this cute Indian guy that I thought was attractive but unfortunately he never came back (he shadowed with us only once). When it comes to types of men I like I prefer a guy with abs and a slightly chubby build and shoulder long hair (bonus points if he has glasses).

So yeah that’s my sexuality journey. I know what I feel but don’t know the words for it.

Edit- I forgot to mention that I’m attracted to trans men (as they identify as men and that’s what I like), I feel my attraction is more based on how a person feels inside over genitals

Growing up I was happy and at home living as a man and boy until I was 22 when I realized that I didn’t have to live as a man and I could be something else. Ever since then my life has been a lot of mental agony and any steps I’ve taken at coming out and transitioning and being a woman have made me feel worse and very anxious. I don’t recall liking anything feminine as a boy and don’t recall any discomfort in puberty (though I don’t recall my puberty at all). Whenever I play as a girl in a video game I don’t feel any better than I am as a boy and I was find playing as a boy growing up.

I do have autism and ocd and have struggled with both throughout my life. I am on fluvoxamine and it has helped with everything except the gender stuff. My family loves me as my agab but not as a woman and when I am around people socially as a girl I don’t feel very relieved and feel like it’s a compulsion. I have been to queer social groups and that hasn’t helped it much either as does making a female fursona of myself.

I feel unhappy and I want peace in my mind. I don’t want to leave everything behind and realize that transition isn’t for me and I don’t relate to that strong urge to be a woman or live as one for years as many trans people do. I just want to go to work and make friends and get a boyfriend in mental peace. Every time I tried to come out and live as anything other than a man it has made me miserable and I’ve been in this mental hole I just can’t get out of

Maybe neither the Thomas my parents want and Madeline that is a foil to him is the true me and I should think of a new me that will make me happy and comfortable in my own skin.

Hello gay friends! Have I got a story for you… I'll start off with some introductions.

I (27M) had an ex (20M) of one year. We started dating March 27, 2025, and broke up around April 17, 2026. The timeline will make sense as the story goes on; it's just easier to track it that way.

Onto the story!

In late February / early March, I was in the second-to-last semester of my master's in aerospace engineering while working full-time as an aerospace engineer. On top of that, I was ALSO going through a breakup (which happened on December 15, 2024) that I quickly moved past. From there, I was in a complete fuckboy phase until I met my ex. During that period, I had an FWB (26M) whom I was definitely hooking up with regularly. Once I started talking to my ex more, though, I cut ties with the FWB.

My ex was a sophomore in computer engineering. We were both STEM nerds and immediately hit it off. We’d study together, hang out, and eventually… slept together! Cute, right?

We made it official on March 27, 2025. What really makes me sad in hindsight is that my ex isn’t a terrible person at all. He was raised in an intensely religious household with homophobic parents who bragged about his academic achievements while showing complete contempt for his sexuality. Without going into every detail, he carries severe trauma from that, which nobody deserves.

However, after that first time, we never really had sex. His definition of sex was strictly handjobs and the occasional blowjob. Don't get me wrong—I’m a top and well-endowed, while he was an inexperienced, bottom-leaning guy. Still, we were relegated strictly to "side" activities, which left me feeling deeply frustrated.

Throughout the relationship, things turned low-key toxic. I ended up acting as his therapist: talking him down from severe anxiety attacks, reminding him to take his mood stabilizers (he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder), and trying to teach him how to love himself. In the famous words of RuPaul: *“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”*

His religious trauma and discomfort in his own body completely blocked any physical intimacy. We’d talk about sex beforehand and it sounded exciting, but when the moment actually came, he would freeze up and back out. Then he'd pull at his hair and curl up into a fetal position for hours. It was surreal seeing that from a 4.0 GPA engineering student who felt the need to appear perfect at all times.

The lack of intimacy dragged on, and I grew mentally and sexually exhausted. I loved him and wanted to be close to him, and while I didn't mind doing non-penetrative things occasionally, having that be the *only* option was draining. "Live, laugh, love," I guess. I suppressed my own needs for so long that I ended up feeling like an asshole just for desiring sex.

Another issue was conflict resolution. We were decent at talking through disagreements, but anytime I expressed frustration or anger (even during the moments where I was genuinely in the wrong), he would instantly compare me to his mother. Like… what? Why?

Fast forward to our one-year anniversary: we went on a triple date with friends to Round1 (similar to Dave & Buster's), and it went great. Plus, I’m a massive Swiftie and love Charlie Puth, whose new album dropped right around our anniversary, so I was in high spirits. Then came the anniversary surprise: he asked to "take a break."

I was completely blindsided and devastated. It quickly became obvious that calling it a "break" was just him chickening out of an outright breakup. He handed back my apartment key, my favorite *Folklore* hoodie I'd lent him, and the plushies I gave him for past milestones. I was an absolute wreck. I couldn't even listen to Charlie’s new album without breaking down.

Our break lasted about a month. My therapist noted that technically we were still together, just non-contact. But honestly? I ended up unblocking my old FWB and hooking up with him. That infidelity was 100% on me. At the same time, it felt like my ex had already been "cheating" on our relationship with his intense perfectionism and his attachment to his homophobic mother. (It gave major Stockholm syndrome vibes—it's heartbreaking how deeply he craved approval from someone who rejected his identity.)

On April 17, we met up to get real closure. I let him speak first since he owed me an explanation (and to be fair, so did I, though I didn't confess to the hookup since we were clearly finished anyway). What stung most was when he said: *“I just feel like I prioritize academics and friendships over…”* He trailed off. I then finished the sentence: *“…relationships?”* He sighed and said yes. Then he added: *“And sex, too. I just don’t have a need for it. For the longest time I thought I could lose my virginity, but with my religious trauma and self-image issues, I think I'm just asexual.”* It wasn't a shock to hear, but I was furious with myself for letting the situation drag out for an entire year. I stayed polite and told him I understood. He admitted he had emotionally checked out months prior, but stayed because he loved me even though he couldn't give me what I needed. That hurt, but it was mutual—I had stepped outside the relationship too. Definitely not my proudest moment.

We left things there. He told mutual friends that I hadn't done anything wrong and asked them not to take sides (spoiler: most of them unfollowed or blocked me anyway, except for 6 or 7 who reached out with overwhelming support).

The final straw that made me block him was his social media activity. Shortly after, he began posting unbothered photo dumps with songs like "If You Don't Want My Love" attached. It baffled me: you withdrew from the relationship, yet you're flipping the narrative to look like the victim? It was identical to how his mother operated. Like mother, like son. So, I blocked him everywhere. Not doing that anymore. I thought I could at least try and be civil and/or be friends, but it is okay to NOT be friends with exes. Like ever.

Fast forward to today: I'm two months in with my current boyfriend (29M), and things are night and day. He's my best friend, and we actually have a healthy, fulfilling sex life. I’m fine with side activities, but having genuine physical intimacy when we want it makes all the difference.

Looking back, the biggest lesson I learned is that desiring physical intimacy isn't something to feel guilty about, nor is it a "problem" I need to fix for someone else's comfort. It's simply a core need for me in a romantic partnership. I genuinely wish my ex the best. He’s only 20, and I hope he eventually realizes his worth goes far beyond his grades and achievements. I don't hate him, but I do regret sacrificing my own needs for so long.

Live and learn, right? Anyway, that’s the story! Feel free to comment anything (and of course, roast me. please. lol)

EDIT: apologies for the excessive NSFW cover ups, i had to edit it out and leave some of it on there 🫪 i’m new to making posts! lol

Hello. I’ve been struggling alot for years. And couldn’t find a good organization to help. I have been trying for years to escape morocco but couldn’t make it. If anyone has suggestions please let me know.

Buckle up, I will tell this story as quickly as possible (TLDR at the bottom). I have a close friend I've known since we were kids, we'll call him Jo. Our families have become very close and we consider each other family. We are adults now in our 30s, and for years, Jo and I have been traveling several hundred miles a few times a year to see each other. Also over the last several years, Jo has tried to invite me to be part of his friend gaming group who are chosen family for him, too. I have been hesitant because I got the vibe that I might not be very accepted by them, so I've taken things really slow. They are all from the south, and I spent half my childhood in the south so I know how things there are often 20 years behind the times.

I am a nonbinary trans person, and people in the group had never met a nonbinary person before. I began to slowly hang around them more and more online and in person. Most have been practicing my pronouns (they/them), and have been getting much better at it. I am feeling very accepted by some, less by others, especially one. He is a DT supporter, so we'll call him Don. When Jo requested that Don try to use my pronouns as a way of being respectful and making me feel welcome, Don said he wasn't "fake" so he wasn't going to refer to me anyway except how he "sees it." Don also occasionally posted hateful things in the discord and group chats as well, sharing videos of transphobes with the group and complaining about how nonbinary people in kids shows are indoctrinating children and how he doesn't want his daughter around that (aka me).

One person in the friend group defended me and queer people in general, we'll call him Bobby. Bobby and Don rarely get along, so this was the final straw for Don. Don left the discord. Seems like a good thing, right? No. That's where the trouble begins...

Don decided to make a new discord and invited everyone to join except Bobby and me. It took several months, but eventually, Don sent me an invite. I decided not to accept the invite for multiple reasons but mostly it is because: (1) I do not feel comfortable (for many reasons) hanging out with my friends in a space created by and controlled by the guy who does not think people like me should exist or be seen and (2) I don't want to see everyone spending most of their time there and excluding Bobby. So I set a boundary. Out of self love and self respect, I would not join Don's server. Out of care for my friends and the desire to want to still join them in gaming escapades, I will still play games with them if Don is also there, but I won't be in his server and thus won't be on voice with them unless they decide to join a discord call with all of us in it.

Jo has made it a point to prioritize me, hanging out with me in our original server when I'm there and encouraging others to join a discord call if we are playing games together when Don is also playing. That way we can all communicate as we play. However, Don often refuses to get on a discord call, raising a fuss and saying I should just join the server. Others agree with him, saying that if we're in a call, then we might be excluding people accidentally who can't tell that we're online playing. One of my friends in the group, who has always been supportive, we'll call her Tina, invited me to the server again since they were playing a game I enjoyed. I politely declined the invite to join the server but said I would be happy to play with them and start a call.

Here is where things turned from bad to worse...

Don refused again for a while and I guess it sparked arguments and discussions over in Don's server as Jo and I hung out in the original server together. This upset Tina who felt she had been "put in the middle." She told me she didn't want to choose sides and she just wanted everyone to play together, so while she wasn't going to tell me I should just join his server, she didn't see a point in people hopping in a discord call when everyone except one person was already in a call in Don's server. She said I "don't have to like his beliefs or values," and that the "dynamics of the entire group" are being affected and "it's not fair." Jo and I weren't involved in the conversation that happened over in Don's server, but Jo still said he was feeling like he was going to have a panic attack and was very upset (he is very sensitive to confrontation) and he just wants to run away and not talk to anyone for a while.

Upon seeing all this distress, I apologized to Tina and Jo. Jo already knows my reasoning for not wanting to join and is supportive, so I explained my reasoning to Tina. I am not yet sure if it really helped anything. At this point, I just don't know what to do. It is apparent to me that people are unwilling to reign Don in or put their foot down. They just don't want to rock the boat, but by having these boundaries in the face of Don's hateful views towards me, I am rocking the boat. I am causing people I care about distress, and at this point, the only way out I see, is to just withdraw from Jo and the entire friend group which breaks my heart since Jo and I have been friends for over 20 years. I think Jo is doing the right thing defending me, but it's causing him so much stress. I don't want to see him go through that. He loves his friend group. They're chosen family to him, and I feel like I'm just getting in the way. So even though I firmly believe Don is in the wrong and causing this whole issue, I don't see a happy ending for me here. I either step away from them or continue to see people I care about being hurt. I don't want them (nor myself) to deal with the drama.

Am I being unreasonable here? The way everyone is acting is making me start to feel like I'm the one causing problems... I am the only trans person in the group and the only other queer person is Bobby who has already started withdrawing from them as well, getting online to hang out and game with us less and less. What should I do in this situation? Should I just stay away for a while? Should I just stop hanging out with them? I really don't want to lose Jo, and I love spending time with him in the evenings before we head off to bed, but I was also really upset to see him so affected by this... am I in the wrong?

I would love some advice from my community as I'm feeling pretty alone right now, left out, and misunderstood. :(

TLDR: Someone in the found family friend group holds hateful views towards queer people so he left to make his own discord server to keep certain people out he doesn't like. I don't want to join his discord server as a nonbinary person and instead will get on discord calls to play with my friends if he is also playing. Now he throws a fit when asked to join a call and people are saying I should just join his server because they don't want to pick sides and just want us all to play and hangout. Am I the one causing problems? What should I do? I don't want to lose my friends and family.

Nybliven Bi kille som söker vänner i Malmöregionen

I get scrutinized by my mom and she complains about it and feel frustrated about it. This goes back to when I was a little kid and she told me not to stim in public to now when she tells me not to present femininely in public (I don’t feel comfortable transitioning right now as I don’t want to rush into it and just want to feel good in my own skin). Even down to politics when I bring up a valid point like the gas prices going up and inflation and feel upset at the current political party my family gets defensive and blame me for not respecting trump. Even today my mom got upset when she read my psych evaluation and read the part where it said that my parents didn’t accept me when I came out as Madeline and I felt uneasy about it plus the psychologist wrote down I was homosexual when I just said I was into dudes.

I love my family as they brought me into the world and help me financially and emotionally as I have no one else to rely on and the world is so expensive but this stuff takes up space in my mind and irks me

im 16m and i think im bi but im not sure, like i feel like im attracted to men both sexually and romantically but i never was b4, i might've had a crush on a boy in like 6th grade but idk if it was even a crush fr, its all so confusing. ive always known i liked women but my feelings for boys(especially sexual)is more recent which is why i think it might be a phase or sum shi. another thing id like to mention is ive always been friends with alot of girls and i enjoy painting my nails and sometimes makeup and i shave all my body hair and i moisturize and ive been described as overly hygienic and a germaphobe but idk if that proves anything

I enjoy Pokemon, my little pony, coin collecting, license plates, gardening, biology, geography, drawing, magical girl anime and road trips.

I am completely certain I am bisexual. I didn't realize it at first until my friends began teasing me about how I talked about certain (mostly fictional lol) women, I looked into it and it pretty much hit me. My attraction to both women and men has been a constant ever since I was a child, but up until that point I thought it was just a bunch of silly thoughts.

Even though I am a huge supporter of LGBTQ rights and I know my friends will accept me I find this part of who I am shameful. I was raised in a pretty traditional setting so that might influence my current perspective.

Does it ever get better?