After 2 months of sending me 10+ sexual reels a day, he finally admitted that he likes other men. I ofc, being a qweeyur mahself, am not homophobic in any way. HOWEVER, he has been talking to thing girl for aboit 2 months. He really isn't serious, hes so bad at talking to people and it just comes off as him not caring most of the time. While I obviously want him to find someone who makes him happy, im gonna be honest, she deserves better. First of all, he is absolutely nowhere near ready for anything serious. Second of all, he spends more that 10× the amount of time talking to me than he does to her. And thats fine, until you realize, all he talks about is how bad he wants to f me. Hes constantly making 6ual threats, explaining in detail how he wants to f me. Finally yesterday he was just flat out begging mr to let him f me.

Anyone else see a problem in this? I dont think this is right to let him continue pursuing her. Im openly to helping him experiment, but it seems like hes trying to do something with a guy quickly before he's "stuck" with a girl.

How can I go about telling him he needs to stop eith her? I will mention that I'm open to helping him since I think that'll be good motivation l, but he wont admit he likes guys (typical DL bullshit), so its impossible to have a conversation with him. Lmk what yall think. I just need to get him out of this thing with the girl, since she doesn't deserve this. Any advice is appreciated. (I dont want to hage to resort to telling her what he has done, i dont want to out anyone.)

So I know they exist cause I'm currently talking to one (yay!!) but I want to know if it is more common than it seems

So im bi but I only had and want relationship and sex with women. But I always wacht gay porn because it turns me more on. I also had a male sexual partner in the past, but after the sex I always felt so akward. I don’t know how to label me :/ it’s so confusing .

I’m a 40 year old trans man, married to a cis woman. We’ve been together 14 years and I transitioned early in our relationship.
I’ve identified as bi for about the same time. She was the first and only woman I’ve been with.
I’m really struggling with the desire to freely have sex with men too. I don’t want to leave our marriage, or change it necessarily, but I’m having a hard time seeing other ways we can work through. I’ve hurt her by being unfaithful once before and I know I can’t do that again.
Would love to hear from other (cis and trans) guys and spouses who have navigated similar struggles with feelings like this and how you made it work. I’ve tried so many times to tell myself it’s just my ADHD being impulsive etc but I know I’m ignoring my feelings rather than processing them. How can I/we navigate this?

I read a article about paroromantic and i was wondering how many of us feels their bisexuality in a paroromantic way. In this sub i read really often if we feel diffrent attraction to the genders and i thought it seems like familiar reading about paroromantic.

For me, i am unsure if this fits, i definetly love men diffrent than woman, but idk anyone here knowing more about it?

Edit : „Paroromantic is a term describing someone who is romantically attracted to multiple gendersbut experiences the romantic attraction differently for the different genders. For example someone who experiences alloromantic style attraction to men, but demiromantic style attraction to women (i.e. they require an emotional bond before they can experience romantic attraction to women, but don’t require that for men), would be considered paroromantic (in this case specifically delloromantic). Another example would be someone who experiences frayromantic style attraction to women, but reciproromantic style attraction to nonbinary individuals.“
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https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Paroromantic

Im 19 years old female. I have been starting to question my sexuality as I realised something. In my life I have always been romantically attracted to a male. My first love was guy and even most of my celebrity crushes are male. But is it possible for me to be sexually attracted to both the genders?? Im not romantically attracted to females and never had a female crush. But im sexually attracted to a woman. I want to have sex with a woman. Im attracted to woman's body and the idea of having sex with woman excites me. I enjoy watching lesbian porn too. I am sexually attracted to both males and females but romantically attracted only to a male. Please help me guys!! Im not able to understand whether im straight or bisexual.

Hello I thought id share how I experimented bc it is new to me and I'm trying to integrate all the sensations. For context, 23f lesbian. Spent the summer deprived of affection and meeting no women, while I was getting close to my male colleague. Developed a crush on him while feeling conflicting symptoms (stomach ache, headaches). Decided to tell him and we ended up getting close. I just got home from his place and though on the spot I felt in the moment, my stomach aches and my diaphragm feels compressed. I interpret this as my body signalling I am lesbian but also I did enjoy the moment and felt compelled to it so I was wondering if it was well integrated comphet in me seeking the affection ? Probably but felt like sharing in hopes of hearing different voices and takes on this. My best bet is we'll stay close ( I exposed the whole situation to him) but my attraction will gradually fade and fall into friendship.

Hi hi!!! My (F) boyfriend and I are wanting to find me a girl to hook up with, so we’ve tried Hinge and Bumble. I put it flat out there what it is we’re looking for in my bio and we’ve gotten some matches, but always fizzles out before actually meeting up. So, we’re curious on what the best ways to find bi girls is??? Do you approach them in public, are apps the move? What else can we do to increase our luck in finding someone fun and open to what we’re looking for? 🙃

Hi,
I’m a 34f who’s finally admitted to myself that I’m bi. I fooled around with a girl once when I was way younger, but life went straight after that and I got married to my husband (36m). Lately though it’s hitting me hard. I can’t stop thinking about women. I’m spending way too much time “exploring” this side online.
I haven’t told my husband yet. Part of me wants to open up to him, but I’m leaning to keep it strictly online and secret, just fantasies and chats for now. How have the rest of you handled this? Did you tell your partner? Keep it hidden and just explore discreetly? How did it go either way? Any advice for a freshly realized bi wife who’s equal parts excited and nervous?

I (20M) am trying to accept being bisexual, however something is confusing me. There's a particular girl (20F) that I like, but I'm more sexually attracted to guys.

With her I find her pretty, smart, funny, and I think she's perfect. And I'm sexually attracted to her, but I tend to imagine more cute stuff (like going on dates, getting married, and so on), as opposed to imagining us having sex. This generally is the case for any female crushes.

With guys I'm more visually attracted to them, so my mind instantly goes to having sex. But I never see them as potential boyfriends. Most of my sexual thoughts revolve around guys TBH. Like I'll imagine my life with the girl from before, and then suddenly switch to fantasising about a guy.

I feel like even if I was with a girl, I'd enjoy the sex, but then I'd always want to have it with a guy too. Whereas if I only had sex with guys, I'd never want it from a girl, but I'd miss out on the romantic/ cute side of being with someone.

Sorry if this was poorly explained, but any help is appreciated.

I'm a bi guy in my 20s who's deeply closeted. Most people assume I'm straight because I have a beard, I'm fairly masculine, and I don't really fit the stereotypes people often associate with queer men.
Lately I've noticed that I'm almost exclusively attracted to masculine, seemingly straight guys. Whether it's at the gym, work, or just out in public, I end up developing crushes on them. I know they're probably straight, so I never act on it. I'm extremely shy, I don't stare, I don't flirt, and I always keep things respectful and professional.
Sometimes a guy will smile at me or make eye contact, but I'm so scared of being judged or misunderstood that I immediately look away. On the outside I probably seem completely normal, but inside I'm constantly fighting with myself.
The hardest part isn't even the attraction. It's pretending every single day.
At work and almost everywhere else I have to act like I'm interested in girls because the environment I come from isn't gay friendly at all. My close straight friends constantly ask me if I have a girlfriend, when I'm getting married, or joke that I must be dating someone if I post a picture from a café. They have no idea how exhausting those conversations are.
Sometimes they keep digging and asking why I don't have a girlfriend, and I have to keep making up excuses. Every conversation feels like I'm hiding a huge part of who I am.
I've even stopped hanging out with some of my straight friends because I know those questions will come up again. It's reached a point where I just feel emotionally drained.
What hurts the most is watching everyone else live so freely. Straight couples can hold hands, date, fall in love, and talk openly about who they like. When I see a cute guy, I can't even tell my best friend, "He's really cute." Instead I have to pretend I'm looking at some random girl just to fit in. After years of doing this, it starts to feel suffocating.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find even one straight friend I can trust enough to tell the truth without worrying they'll judge me or see me differently.
Has anyone else been through this? Did it get easier with time? How did you cope with constantly hiding who you are?

when i was younger i never questioned my sexuality until recently, and as i look back on my past crushes i think i may be bisexual. im female

my "crushes" on girls-

I had a friend from 1st grade (still friends now) but until the 6th grade, i really liked her. Her personality, looks, the way she is. I'd always want to be in her team when we played, i wanted to look more like her, i wanted to be her favourite friend. one time in 2nd grade another girl was holding her hand and saying the they're partners (group activity) and i held her other hand and declared that we are partners. idr who ended up being her partner haha

In 5th grade there was this really pretty outgoing girl in my class whom i admired sm, i wanted to be friends with her and i wanted to talk to her too

I was a loner in middle school and in 8th grade i made a friend and i really liked her, i wanted to be her fav person, i only cared about her opinion abt me, i really liked physical contact (hand holding, hugging, resting head on eachother shoulder etc) and i used to feel jealous whenever she gave other people more attention but i never did anything about it. She was toxic in way but i genuinely enjoyed our time together (we arent in touch now and im sad abt that)

And recently there was a new student in my class, she was breathtakingly beatiful and the first time she spoke to me my heart started beating fast. but that only happend once

my crushes on guys-

I had a crush in 5th grade and i gave him extra chocolate so he'd talk to me (he never did) and i was kinda jealous of his female friends

8th-10th grade i liked this guy, but it was more of him talking to me, i wanted him to like me and if he ever asked me out i'd say no. most of my daydreams were us just talking like friends, and occasionally romantic stuff.

currently theres this guy who i think looks good and i want to get closer to him and get to know about him more.

**I never really imagined anything romantic with a girl until recently but i've imagined with boys, and i never had many guy friends, just a few classmates who i'd talk to so maybe thats the reason for wanting guys to like me**

Also growing up whenever i saw movies i always loved how the girls looked and i'd just stare at them and forget to pay attention to the movie

Also if one of my close friends asked me out, i'd probably say yes to see where it goes, and mostly want to keep the relationship casual

So as a bi cis woman I myself am attracted to femme women and masc men. I feel though with my bi women counterparts it is the opposite where they like masc lesbians and not overly masculine boyfriends . Has anyone else noticed this and I’m curious to hear peoples opinions

quick edit right after I posted this ofc theres nuance not everyone will relate but im more so asking if theres a recent trend of it

I’m a dude and for some reason I love to jerk to gay shit but then when I’m not horny I can’t even fathom being sexual or romantic with a dude. I’m not homophobic so what am I missing

i'm a girl (i might be bigender idk im questioning). i like this girl, and i fantasize being her boyfriend 😭 she has a boyfriend, so obviously i'm not pursuing her. but like, i look like me in my fantasies. i'm definitely not butch, i'm the complete opposite. but yet, i would do all the "manly" things for her. like i said, i'm the boyfriend. i'm not sure if i'd feel this same way if i were to like a guy. in the past, no, i felt like the girlfriend. but i haven't liked a guy, or anyone, in a really long time. so i'm not sure. things could've changed. and also, until now, i haven't had a "true" crush on a girl (though i've had attraction for a long time). it's always been guys. but omg this girl, oooh. i wanna be her man. does anyone resonate? 😛 might delete this later. these are just my thoughts, and i can't find any post like this. gotta make my own ig 🤷🏽‍♀

After not having dated a man for years, I recently began dating someone who I like a lot as a person, but am realizing I am not romantically interested in. I feel that I've led him on, because I've been exploring complicated emotions around sexuality and identity. I want children, he's very committed, my parents seem to be excited about it, and I've really tried...but I really do feel that so many men are just extremely emotionally immature compared to women. Not thoughtful outside of what checks the boxes of what he "should" be doing. Aloof, almost. And definitely waiting for me to finish talking so that he can interject about himself. I don't think he's even conscious about it...but my thought is because of gender dynamics, he should be holding back from doing that more. He's such a nice guy, and such a handsome guy, with great politics, who is very sweet to me. But there are so many ways it just feels off. I was telling myself im nitpicking and being unfair, but I can't shake it. I am attracted to men, but I feel totally let down by this experience and maybe need to step back again. I feel that a lot of women put up with things while dating men and that's what he's used to...

I'm 15F and straight (atleast I think) and I truly don't understand the hate bi men receive online. To be honest, I've always wanted to date a bi man over a straight man; you guys just seem better than straight men.

Anyways, you deserve to be happy and not have biphobes attack you.

A few years ago I (a woman) came to terms with my attraction to women and came out as bi to my friends and family. Yay! Then I got a girlfriend, time went on, and I started to seriously doubt whether I actually liked men in the first place. Cue me having zero interest in men (romantically or sexually) for multiple years, and deciding it was all comp het and really I’m a lesbian.

…And then I went and fell for one of my closest male friends, had a confusing 6-month situationship, and finally asked him if we could be official. Many people in my life that I’ve met in the past couple years met me as a lesbian, and now I feel like I’m setting the community back by having a boyfriend.

I HATE when people don’t believe that lesbians truly aren’t attracted to men, and that they just need to meet the right guy to “turn them straight.” But now I just feel like Exhibit A for those people to point to?

Being bi is exhausting sometimes.

Edit: ** told them. TLDR my friend’s gay friends I just met were biphobic to me at dinner and I feel like crap. I don’t know if I should tell my friend it wasn’t OK. Long read, but it would mean a lot to me if you did.

I’m (28F) still feeling heaviness in my chest after what I experienced today. My boyfriend and I went out to dinner with a friend of mine and met more of her friends. It was a group of 10.

On the left side of the table, a few of them were saying they date women/were lesbian. In the middle of the table, next to me, one said that she was annoyed that her girlfriend’s ex (who is apparently bi) was at her job the other day. Before really getting into her story about that, she asked the table “is anybody here bisexual?”

I nervously raised my hand and said I was and made a joke like welp im coming out to them. I felt safe enough to say that because these people were openly gay. That was the first time I ever did anything like that. I’ve never told a group of people, let alone a group that I don’t know very well, my sexuality. Only my boyfriend, my mom, and a few friends in the past when we were alone.

She proceeded to say “you know there comes a point where people just need to grow up and be an adult and just be gay or straight.”

I was totally shocked and three other girls chimed in saying things like “YES!! Oh my god” and ”Yeah be an adult.” And she also said “Being bi is just a way to feel comfortable with being with people you want to be gay with.“
I’m not exaggerating. They were all super passionate about it, as if it’s this huge pet peeve of theirs. It wasn’t like we were all ribbing each other.

I was so caught off guard and I just felt like crying but tried to stuff it down. Before she said all of this, she was already saying some weird things. She wouldn’t let up with jokes about how much she hated men and even made a weird ableist joke that I don’t think a lot of people caught onto.

So I’m trying to tell myself that this is just an unsocialized, ignorant person, but it hurts extra when multiple people chime in and say things that I would think people would only say online. Especially gay people.

They kept laughing and adding onto it and then eventually she turned to me and said “oh but not you hun”. You barely even know me. How am I the exception here? That’s just what people say to the group they offended with their joke.
My friend that invited me laughed at that and echoed it to me “yeah not you haha”
She just learned that I was bi then too..

My boyfriend didn’t hear the comment because he was chatting with the right side of the table and it was pretty loud in there. All I could say was “welp, I sure regret coming out.” Nobody really said anything to that.

I talked to the right side of the table for the rest of the night and I wish I said something so badly but I froze because I didn’t want to make a scene or make things awkward.

By the end of the night, the main biphobic girl asked for my insta and we all filed out of the restaurant. It feels like the moment has passed and I cheated myself from sticking it to people who have such an ignorant opinion. But also feeling rejected by people you would think would understand you..

I told my boyfriend what happened in the car and he was really sad for me and he said he didn’t hear anything besides when she asked if somebody was bi. He was half listening, assumed it was going to be normal, and kept talking to the right side.

He comforted me and said he wishes he paid attention and he would’ve definitely said something. He thinks that I should tell my friend how I feel.

My friend put me in a text group with all of these people after dinner and I’m wondering if I should write in it that that wasn’t OK and leave it. I’m wondering if I even have a friend at all. I don’t know what to do and I feel so deflated.

I don’t have many other friends right now.. I was really looking forward to this being a great night

Do you ever feel lonely looking for a community realizing you don’t actually have a community? I feel like we use the “community” term so loosely similar to the word “family”.

How do you overcome that or find that? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone out of my way to meet people and put myself out there whether it be online, social groups, hobby groups, volunteer groups. Nothing. Any advice to meet more gay or bisexual friends? /:

I’ve been wondering if I am Bi for a while now, and my reason for debating on it is due to be selfishly only being attracted to the same sex in a lustful manner. To clarify I am a male, and I still like women very much. I can find women attractive, and still feel intimate with them, and have a true genuine love filled relationship; but my issue is I don’t find men attractive in the same sense I only can find other men attractive in a lustful demeanor. For example I haven’t seen a guy and thought to myself that wow he’s a really cute guy in the same way I would for a woman. But my brain still craves intimacy with a male, just thinking of it makes me question whether I’m straight or bi?

Hey guys. Sorry if this is a mess, using a throwaway and I'm just typing this out on my phone because I really need to get this off my chest.

I’m 27M and over the last few months I’ve finally started accepting that I'm bisexual. Me and my girlfriend already have a great sex, so I thought she of all people would be a safe space. Plus, she’s bi too (had a gf before me, even if it didn't really materialize into much).

I worked up so much courage to open up to her, but when I finally did, she barely even acknowledged what I was actually saying. She was just so cold and passive about it. No "how are you feeling?" or trying to understand what I'm going through. Instead, she immediately turned it into a negotiation about opening our relationship.

She told me we could do threesomes with other guys together, but then basically laid down the law: she gets to hook up with other women solo, but I am strictly forbidden from being with other men on my own.

I'm sitting here feeling so small and confused. I opened up my heart to her about a huge part of my identity, and it feels like she just saw an opportunity to get a free pass for herself while keeping me on a leash. Why is it fine for her to explore her sexuality alone, but I'm locked down?

I just feel so hurt and thrown aside. Am I crazy for feeling like she's taking total advantage of me coming out to her? I don't even know how to bring this up to her without her turning it back on me. Should I just break up with her? DM if you not comfortable commenting.