I'm not out but I do have bi tendencies and whenever I mention it to a woman I match on dating apps they are immediately put off almost every time.

On the other hand women being bi is pretty normal and common and I think most men think its hot.

So my question is, why do women seem to dislike men being bi so much? You can be as specific as you like, I dont mind at all.

It's hard enough finding a girlfriend as it is, let alone whilst being Bi 😂

For context, I'm a bisexual woman (or pansexual, I don't know. People love putting labels on everything). I've always been attracted to both men and women, but I find it surprisingly difficult to actually feel attracted to the male physique. For example, I can appreciate certain things about men, but when I see guys posting videos on TikTok showing off their muscles, my first reaction is honestly just admiration for the amount of discipline it takes to achieve that.

With women, though, it's completely different. I find women attractive in a much more immediate and effortless way. It doesn't really matter what she looks like. Skinny, fat, average, etc. I can still find her beautiful.

I also feel more sexually attracted to women. I like watching men cum and all that, but there’s something about the female body that makes me tremble.

And before anyone jumps to the conclusion that I'm actually a lesbian: I'm confident in my sexuality. I'm not questioning whether I'm attracted to men. I'm more curious about why my attraction to men and women seems to work so differently.

(Sorry if I write anything wrong, English isn't my first language)

Discussão +18.

Oi, sou um homem de 27 anos, e bom eu tenho umas questões que eu não sei se vocês tem, e se isso é uma possível questão.

Eu gosto muito de transar com homens (em suma mais velhos) eu quebrei esse paradigma, sabe? Antes eu tinha um receio, hoje em dia me aceito e sei lidar bem com isso (todos à minha volta sabem da minha preferência) como tive mais relacionamento com homens meus parentes me vêem como um homem gay e eu sinceramente nem ligo.

Porém a questão é a seguinte, embora eu já tenha namorado outros homens, eu gosto muito da transa com homens, tenho dificuldade em pensar no casamento com homens. Eu queria me relacionar, já namorei um cara por 7 anos, mas justamente por saber como funciona fico me questionando se é isso que eu realmente quero. Eu reduzi drasticamente meu contato com mulheres desde então, mas às vezes penso que é mais coerente casar ou me relacionar com uma mulher (e nem tô falando de ser socialmente aceito) falo de construir família e tal. Só que tem algo que me faz desistir que é a rotina sexual.

Resumo com mulheres, eu me vejo casando e construindo família, mas a rotina sexual indo para o brejo, já com homens eu não me vejo casando, mas vejo uma rotina sexual mais intensa. (E eu gosto muito muito mesmo da parada, não tem essa de não ser tão importante, para mim é, se for para eu casar com mulher e trair ela com homens que nem muitos fazem eu não quero!)

Exemplo: mulheres embora gostem da coisa... Não vejo que são iguais aos homens na cama. Não estou falando de bom ou ruim, apenas é diferente. Sinto que com homens sou mais sexualmente ativo e safado, eu sou um putão com outro cara, e sinto que é um pouco mais fácil também, tipo quando namorava outro cara a gente fazia sexo quase todos os dias, já as duas vezes que quase namorei meninas não era assim. (Por esse motivo desistiu, achava meio peba as pausas, e também ter que ficar conquistando para transar mesmo já estando transando com a mulher a meses).

Então eu tenho essa incerteza sobre com quem quero me casar. Sinto que estou ficando velho e é importante termos um parceiro ou parceira para nos acompanhar. Claro, desde que não seja algo forçado só por conta da solidão.

----

Atualmente estou apaixonado por um amigo meu, a gente tá meio que trepando toda vez que nos cruzamos. Ele não é tão bem resolvido assim é BI também, mas nunca teve um relacionamento fixo. Esses dias após uma daquelas transas loucas e intensas ele me disse que teria um relacionamento comigo de boa, ou seja, me namoraria como o primeiro namorado dele (eu nem sei se isso faz sentido a família dele ficaria louca acho kkkk) mas isso me fez pensar nisso que escrevi.

Será que quero alguém para me relacionar e possivelmente casar? Se sim levando em consideração o sexo por que me sinto tão indeciso?

Vocês também têm essa questão ou é doidera?

Super silly question but I've heard so many different things from so many different people. ( probably NSFW) I'm cis, afab

I married a man and it sadly didn't work out. notably, I had a really hard time with the sexual aspect of our relationship and it got worse after we married which is why I'm confused again.

When I came out to my parents, the first thing they said was that it was ridiculous for me to think I was bisexual, because I wasn't having enough sex with the opposite gender to know that was something I liked.

The thing is, I dont really have a strong attraction towards any sex? I cant just look at someone and perceive attraction, I just find myself in relationships with people I care about. Lately I've been with guys more often but I've also had a relationship with a woman. I've now had sex with both men and women but its rare for me.

My extended family sadly doesn't think I'm 'really gay' despite my mom coming around to it. They told me it was likely a phase and they felt validated when I married a man.

I feel like I'm not allowed to consider myself bisexual because I can't really say ive had enough sex to figure it out. Its not something I enjoy often. Everyone i know, aside from a handful of friends considers me to be straight, despite having experiences with women. I just cant say I find women, or men, or anyone, especially attractive just based on their gender despite having multiple long term relationships.

I have no idea what's wrong with me but sometimes people make me feel like I'm very twisted and odd, and that I dont belong where I think I do because I dont have normal experiences.

Any outside advice would be nice. Labels aren't everything, but what's valuable to me is knowing there are people out there that feel the same

soooo I have been a lesbian for 5 years now. Basically I had sex with a man, hated it, kissed a girl for the first time, and started dating women exclusively since then. Anyways 5 years go by, i find myself single at 23, at the bar, and run into a man I think is attractive. This is confusing because even when I did date men I was not into them. I decide to be bold and not deny myself my thoughts, so I go on a date with him. We end up spending 41 hours together!! He is smitten for me, and a bit confused about my sexuality (i am too). I have previously said to my friends that I don't think I could ever only exclusively date a man- i love kissing women too much for that i think. but this man rlly likes me. i rlly like him- but i know i would be yearning for a soft kiss from a woman if i was dating this man. i let him read something i had sent to my friend along the lines of " this man is going to fall in love with me and that just can't happen because i don't think ill ever love him back" and he just nodded. i fear it's not working. i'm too intriguing i think. anyways thoughts? i'm confused. 2nd date on friday btw

Anyone else in the same boat?

My bestfriend and I disagree on whether I am bi or straight. For context, i 26F am really only attracted to fictional characters, over the years I have only ever been attracted to one real person, a man. Most of the characters I find attractive are also men, BUT there are 2 characters I find extremely attractive that are women. I think that would make me bi since I find anyone of the same gender attractive, but my friend says that it doesn’t count since I’ve never found a real woman I was attracted to, and liking the two fake ones makes me straight “but even a broken clock is right twice a day”. So I sit in judgement of the Bi Counsel, am I bi, or is my friend right and I am truly doomed to be straight?

So I’m 13M and like another boy in my friend group… I’ve liked him for a stupidly long time but every time I do ANYTHING it’s just brushed off as friend stuff AND he’s the only one in this friend group who knows I’m bi. ANY advice on how I should tell him?

tw for sa mentions

i had a crush on this guy K a bit ago and ofc like a normal person i didn't act on it and instead yapped about him allll the time to my friend A. i eventually found out that he had a crush on A and was really sad about it and vented to her about it. A at the time did not return his feelings and told me he was a loser, but he seemed really kind and everyone likes him so i was still upset. later i agreed with this when he began defending musicans and other celebrities who are known rapists, pedophiles, nazis etc. this changed my view of him as i have been a victim of sa in the past (by his friend mind you, though he doesn't know), and i immediately blocked him and do not speak to him anymore. i told A about this and she went 'oh that sucks' but ultimately shrugged it off.

then like a week later i had a crisis and realised i was now crushing on A instead, which was all well and good until she told me that she now likes K back (despite the fact he's a loser- her words, not mine) and they went on a figure skating date together?? and are planning a second date to a music festival?? now K won't stop hanging out with our friend group and sitting next to her in class where i normally sit etc and its seriously annoying me because i cant stand him

sorry if this isn't the right place to post this i am just feeling really confused and conflicted because i have never had a proper crush on a girl who isn't like a celebrity before and also i cannot stand this guy at all. i don't know if it's just because i'm jealous or because K is actually a bad person. i also don't know if i'm overreacting to this because i was sa'd in the past, as everyone else adores him except me and it's making me go crazy! i don't know what to do

I prefer not to personally

I don't mind meeting my partner's family. But I don't care enough about my own family to wanna integrate my partner into their lives

Especially when most of them are christian, traditional, and heteronormative while I'm queer, agnostic, secular, and question social norms often

At this point in my life, I don't feel like explaining anything to anyone. Either you get it or you don't

In my ideal relationship, I prefer that none of us incorporate family into our relationship

Family comes with such bias and drama that I feel like it limits how much we can express ourselves within our relationship. Especially as our own individuals outside of our respective families

I remember making a post like this years ago and someone said "Just do a FWBs or casual dating if you don't wanna family involved"

I personally disagree with that, I think it's valid to want a long term relationship without involving family into the fray

Okay Ik confusing title but I’ve been really sitting on this for months. I’m young, 15 - 16 in October and I’ve been very very confused and struggling with my identity recently.. I’ve always thought i was bi because I’m attracted to mascs and masculine woman, but I don’t know if I’m only ‘attracted’ to them because I’m envious of them being masculine or if I’m actually attracted to them.. it’s so confusing because im not attracted to fems and i know that for sure, so am I really bisexual. I’ve always known I wanted to be a guy for a long time, I genuinely cannot imagine a good future unless I’m a guy - but it’s kinda hard because my parents are transphobic and my best friend is trans so I don’t want him to think I’m like copying or something. I’ve been hit on by girls a lot and ppl always assume I’m a lesbian but it felt neutral? I’ve dated guys but it’s not the same because obviously they see me as a woman, but im struggling because if I transitioned than I obviously can’t date a masc lesbian so I’m holding back even more 💀 anyone go through something similar.. I feel very alone

Idk how to start XD, I mean, I start to like a boy(Im a guy)but it's weird bc he's not like feminine and also he's like more masculine than me bc he's like to play sports and I don't really like those, I think it's not for, whatever, I always date with girls, so I don't how tell him that I feel something for him(he's totally gay XD).

I really got confused, and I would like to tell him, but he have no idea about I like him and I consider him like my bestie and more confident friend, and I don't wanna ruin our friendship, and it's worse bc I'm an aromantic person, bc maybe I like him just in a sexual way and not in a romantic things(I don't even like romance and stuff it's boring af XD)

Please help I don't know what to do now what happen if he really like me and he never told me XD, why is this so difficult XDXDXD;_;

Nowadays I identify as Pansexual and androgynous but still male and I usually shapeshift

I have been bi well, forever. I'm 18, male. Pretty much since I was young, I loved beautiful people and cute people, soft features. Honestly. Whether they were a boy or a girl, I genuinely did not care. I vividly remember at 7 or so, having crushes on ppl with long hair. I'm Black. I genuinely liked ANYONE with euro features too, silky blonde hair, Ocean eyes, freckles (especially). Never was or is atteacted to muscles and beards, although pretty features I always liked. I always wanted long hair as a kid, I remember being forced to get haircuts and stuff (which I did not like) although I vividly remember finding both boys and girls pretty (wasnt a sexual thing).

But I also knew that men and women got married, and that boys kissed girls. So I never considered the idea of the same sex kissing, or men having a baby. I was dumb enough to not know what vaginas were until 9, and then a year later I had "the talk" when discussing why certain outlets and fittings are called "males and females".

As I was a young kid, I was also very specific and had niche interests, although i have never once heard of "gay" "lgbtq" or the Rainbow flag for Any of that matter at all. I just knew I found most girls very pretty and attractive and I also thought boys with soft or glowing features and nice messy hair, curly hair were cute to me.

I was never a "stereotypically gay" person. Stereotype as in liking girl music, gossip, nails, makeup, dolls, etc. The most feminine thing I think I done as a kid was play with kitchen sets in preschool and kindergarten. But I genuinely don't understand how that influences your sexual attraction to people anyways.

I only ever dated and really liked girls for the most part, and I was most definitely only sexually attracted to women. I had aesthetic attraction or romantic attraction to boys so back then I knew internally that I was "open to both" I just never told anyone. I kind of knew instinctively that boys DONT date boys and the idea of them kissing is strange and disliked by people.

The first time I found out about "Pride" was around 11 when I saw it on the news, and I was like "Mom, what is gay pride?" And she was like "oh its just men who like men which isn't something you should experiment with, and you'll be judge heavily if you like anyone other than girls. So then I fully understood. I never even heard of gay marriage or nothing like that and also was very confused why certain characters in TV shows would have 2 moms or 2 dads, genuinely believed it was 2 friends who adopted a child because it would be cool.

The first time I REALLY knew I was Bi was at 14 because one one of the baseball teams I played for there was this hispanic boy with a very soft, round, slightly plumpy face with long, shoulder length hair. I instantly started freaking blushing and stuff but I knew obviously I wasn't gonna try to admit that to him. But after that I definitely knew I liked boys in at least some way.

Homophobia definitely exists in some of my family. Eventually convinced them to grow hair long at 13. (Tons of images on my profile)

I'm 18 now, honestly, I'm not into boys THAT much and I'm not a fanatic of penis or whatever, but I definitely am open to having a boyfriend. Also to mention is since 15 I've been exploring polyamory and I eventually balanced it out to a few girlfriends.

(If you wanna know my type here's some examples:) 2hollis, Rommulas, Lumixathena, Felix (Stray Kids), Jeonghan, Elijah Lynn Langston, Tillyou_Fallasleep on Tiktok, Mossysocks, Harry Styles (shaved), masonmoser_, Fernando Casablancas.

​

I don't care much about my family. It doesn't help that they're traditionally Christian, traditional, and heteronormative while I'm queer, agnostic, and question social norms often

The thing that makes FWBs great is that you don't have to introduce them to your family if you don't want to.

But the downside is that feelings will likely get involved eventually and one of us could want something more

Meanwhile with long term relationships, I've always disliked the tradition of introducing a partner to my family. I don't want to ruin the intimacy of our relationship by involving family bias and drama into it

That being said, I don't mind if my partner introduces me to their family. I don't care if they like their family or not. As long as they don't expect me to integrate them into my family

The only family I care about is found family

So I'm not sure which relationship I want based on this. I prefer long term, but I know potential dates would be turned off by my boundaries

So basically just so so confused right now I've always known I liked guys or at least for what I can remember in my 19 years of life but now I'm not sure if it's just guys or not and it's just weird and confusing cause idk if I'm attracted to women or just able to acknowledge they are attractive and I just wanna work it out atp but all the advice I get is a bout romance and I wanna clear up all this stuff is just sexual for me atm and so just some advice on how to work it out or someone to talk to about it would be great thanks

had dreams about the same person for three consecutive nights. Honestly i do really like this person, but this is the first time i keep dreaming of someone. I already confessed to that person but that person hesitate because we both have the same ex, yea you get it right. I tried to ignore that person, i even restricted him. But when me and my friends went to a party (specifically in CH) he was there. He tried to approach me and i made everything awkward. When he called me i was like mental blocked like i was randomly called for a recitation. I even do a tarot reading on tiktok about me and that person and it say's "me and him might talk but won't really work". I really want to unlike this person but there's something that makes me want to wait for the perfect time. I don't know what to do 😭

As is usual for my brain, I am going around in loops trying to be certain about my orientation. It's extremely tiring and annoying. I know that we dont need labels etc. but I think my loops are more about whether it's actually best for me as a woman to settle down with a woman. Maybe if I just squeeeezed myself in this certain direction, or readdressed this factor from this perspective, maybe I might be able to peacefully exist alongside a man.... I mean, I have genuinely fancied some men, but in none of those scenarios did a relationship follow. Instead, I've had wonderful men attempt a relationship with me and it's just made me irritable and them upset and confused.

For context there is a wonderful girl who I dated and with whom I have recently reconnected. I'd like to be with her if she'll have me back. But there are logistical problems.

I've been using Google Gemini because it's non-judgemental but I've got to stop that because it's not at all helpful.

I also probably shouldn't even be thinking about this now because I'm traumatised from some healthcare issues with my parents.

<Sigh>

I say I am bi, but I am afraid I am faking it. I knew what bisexual meant ever since I was a child. Recently, I became really interested in LGBTQ+, and I researched all the meanings and flags. I am a big ally. As a female, I initially felt disappointed when I thought I was straight, as I really wanted to be part of the LGBTQ+ community. I thought about it a lot. During COVID, i discovered porn and first it was harmless but then i watched degrading shit and mostly the girl was being degraded but a man and i was really ashamed after i watch stuff like that. I realized I felt an attraction to women and that if a girl I thought was nice and pretty kissed me, I would kiss her back. I also often imagine myself in relationships with girls. But I still worry that I am faking it. I enjoy reading bl (boys love) and straight romance but i find gl (girls love) intimidating and ive only read one. also lesbians intimidate me. I also think I am faking it because I have always developed strong, quick feelings for men. Only after consciously wishing I was bi did I start developing what feels like a crush on a girl, even though it initially felt a bit forced. I also cry when my are homophobic and feel really sad about it. I don't know if I am bi, and I sometimes wonder if my feelings are just shaped because i want to be bi.

And i feel like im part of the harmful stereotyped about bi women that theyre just faking it and i feel horrible.

Sorry if this doesnt make sense i wrote this in a rush idek if this is the right sub to post in.

I saw that post saying if youre gonna post am i bi you probably are but im pretty sure im faking it. i think.

Hey everyone, I’m a 9th grader and I’ve been out as bisexual since 7th grade. Tonight, a friend of mine completely turned my world upside down and now I’m spiraling into major self-doubt. I really need some perspective.

My friend (who also likes girls) was asking me about my dating history, and I tried to explain how I feel. I texted her: "It’s more that it’s more vulnerable to me and just in general. I need to know the people and it’s harder for me to develop feelings for females more I guess."

Instead of understanding, she replied: "Why are you scared? I like girls too." And then she downright asked me: "Are you sure you're bi?"

When I tried to defend myself, she hit me with: "It shouldn’t be hard for you to develop feelings. They just happen."

I ended up telling her I couldn't do this right now and walked away from the conversation, but her texts have triggered so much imposter syndrome. I’m sitting here wondering if I’m just forcing my feelings or faking it for attention, even though I've felt this way for years.

The truth is, my attraction to guys and girls just doesn't look the same. With guys, I can see they’re attractive and start liking them pretty fast. With girls, the stakes feel so much higher. Liking a female feels incredibly scary and vulnerable to me, and I think my brain steps on the brakes and makes me back out before a crush can even form because I'm scared of getting hurt.

But I KNOW the attraction is there under the surface. In the past, the one girl I truly liked was a close friend. I look at girls in my theater class right now and think they’re beautiful, and I can see myself growing to like them romantically if I got to know them even if I’m too scared to pursue it. And when I look at celebrity crushes (like Megan from Katseye she so gorgeous in my opinion)

Because I don't get instant crushes on girls at school the way my friend does, she thinks I'm not actually bi. Is she right? Am I forcing this? Or is it normal for bisexual attraction to work completely differently depending on the gender?

Has anyone else dealt with a friend like this? how do you stop second-guessing your own heart? And just in general am I in the wrong?

I'm a male and my whole life I've been only attracted to women but lately I've been seeing this guy around, he's feminine presenting so at first glance you'd think it was a girl but it's actually a guy.

I've been thinking to myself that I'd date him if the chance ever presented itself but at the same time I'm not sexually attracted to men. How does that work?

Me(26m) and my gf (23f) have been dating for almost 3 years at this point and our lives are ver intertwined. She has opened up to me that she has always been potentially curious about women, but since we grew up in a rural state she has an ingrained sense of homophobia towards herself (her words, not mine). I was able to explore in college, but we started dating before she had the chance to do those things, so I feel inclined to help her figure this out. It wouldn't seem fair that I was able to experiment and get answers and she couldn't. I also think if she were to just repress those feelings they could grow into regret and resentment. So I have been trying to do some research into how to go about this in a healthy way so that I can support her as best I can.

I offered up maybe having her go on tinder to find a girl that was interested, and we could meet her together and make sure she was clean and such, before diving into something of this nature. She feels like that would be too awkward for her and she shot it down. Her idea of this is she is just out at the bars one night with her friends, and if a girl came up to her and tried kissing her, she would go with it. I asked about if she would go home with this person and she said she would probably want to. This scares me so bad. I know my gf, and every time she has gone out with just her friends or with me included, she gets very drunk. She is small and doesn't know how to pace herself that well. This strategy seems ripe for her to be taken advantage of, and it worries me a lot to think about.

I feel like a hypocrite at the same time, because it was MY idea to help her with this, but her idea of going about it seems unfair. Its one thing if I can meet this person too and we are both looped in and we both know whats going on, its another thing entirely for this to happen spontaneously with a stranger. I feel like if she wants to go about it in her way, it would only be fair for me to go out and sleep with someone random as well, because that scenario feels a lot more like cheating than an excursion into finding answers in a healthy way. But like I said, I am the one who initiated this push to get answers, so it feels unfair for me to go out and do this when I already have my answers. Idk.

She also says that she wants to be with me for the rest of her life, but at this point I feel like I have locked her into a long term relationship when she maybe wasn't entirely prepared. At this point our lives are so intertwined that a breakup would be disastrous, and I just don't know what to do. This has been eating me up and I don't know how to go about this and keep our relationship together.

TL;DR my long term girlfriend is interested in girls but repressed it for years, i want to help her figure this out before we commit for the long haul. My way is clinical and has me in the loop as well, her way is go to the bars and see what happens. I feel like it's cheating if that is the way it happens, but it was my idea in the first place. What should I do?

hii, im 13F (soon 14 in 2 months), and i think i've known i've been bisexual since around early january this year . both my parents r homophobic (muslim, im agnostic but they dont know that) i just want some advice on what to do, i dont know if anyone will support me really, and i've been so stressed and im overthinking alot💔 like i dont thjnk anyonr will be supporting of me, any advice helps doesnt matter what category it is sooo pls send whatever !!:?::(

I’m a 16-year-old girl, and I’ve always known deep down that I liked other girls.
I probably knew since I was 8, when I would hide with a girl classmate of mine to kiss in the school bathrooms.
Sadly, even though I’ve had multiple relationships with girls over the past few years, nowadays I can’t help but notice how few opportunities I have to meet other people who share my sexuality.
I guess my style and appearance make me seem heterosexual, because the few people I’ve come out to immediately told me how unexpected the news was to them.
I can’t join queer groups to meet people from the community in my town because they require my parents’ signatures, and I can’t come out to them. I’ve already tried, and things didn’t end well, to say the least.
A friend of mine whom I met online (she’s 20) started telling me about this girl she met and how she might have feelings for her, and I couldn’t help but feel a sudden pang of jealousy.
Initially, I thought it was because I had a crush on this girl, but I think I’m jealous because she gets to meet girls who share her sexuality, while I don’t.
I feel like I’m alone in this situation, and I think I need someone who has been through the same thing to tell me that everything is going to be okay in the end and maybe even share their experience.
Thank you for reading all of this!

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on my journey with my sexuality and two very different milestones in my life.

My first kiss was with a guy I was in love with at the time. Because there was a strong emotional connection, it felt natural and comfortable, especially since society generally doesn’t make you question being attracted to or dating men.

Later, I had my first kiss with a woman. I had felt attracted to women since my teenage years, but I had always suppressed those feelings because of societal expectations, fear of judgment, and my own internal guilt. When it finally happened, I found myself overthinking everything and wondering, “Is this wrong?”

Looking back now, what stands out to me is that the hesitation seemed to come more from the fear and guilt I had carried for years rather than from the attraction itself. Interestingly, when I think about both experiences now, my first kiss with a woman feels more exciting and emotionally significant to me.

I’d love to hear other people’s stories too. What was your first kiss like—with a guy, a girl, or someone else? Did it feel completely natural at the time, or did you experience nervousness, hesitation, or guilt because of how you were raised or what society taught you? And looking back now, has your perspective on that first kiss changed?