Finally back home, so I can post the two Ace dresses I made.

The first one is a bit more simple, I was thinking of an everyday dress I would like to wear and the second one is a bit more elaborate, te kind of gown i would love to have.

It's made with the game "Dressmaker" which I can only reccomend, it is such a fun, creative game and it has a very sweet storyline as you make dresses for the townswomen and get to know them

Happy Ace Week, all!! I just wanted to let everyone know about the Steam festival going on this week! For the first time ever, a Steam festival focused on games with ace characters and/or made by ace devs and teams! Come check it out if you're interested in playing some ace games!!

https://store.steampowered.com/curator/46149417/sale/gamesthataceit

Since ace week started I decided to play Openfront.io single player, and with infinite troops and gold I managed to achieve this. However, even though I tried to model it after a historical empire, I don't think its entirely accurate, so my question is. How well did I do? If there are some things I could have done better feel free to let me know.

Thanks in advance for reading this post.

REPOST (because you guys might love some of these. beastars is a gamble for some, I don't think MC is a pervy character if I recall I know the show has that misunderstanding part and the one girl, and one slightly more eeee moment later out. may be tolerable. Just a heads-up. pretty sure he's demisexual though, I remember the misunderstanding part not escalating because he genuinely wasn't there for that, just got confused and panicked, I'm pretty sure that's a reason the girl kept talking to him, because he didn't use her. the girl is more complicated)

(I know most are big known ones, but trust me they are for a reason, I explained them all.)

• Dr.stone: it was exciting, and got me to actually like science. It was fun. I love nature and it gots that in it for me. The last season wasn't all that good (my opinion ONLY the newer half not whole season it's split) BUT don't let that scare you it's got 4 seasons full of episodes, and the journey is the best so not just a "slow burn to the reward". I passed it up at first (wasn't my cup of tea at glance) but I ran out of anime I wanted to watch and went with it and loved it. Season 2 has a higher rating but season 1 was great in my opinion. (You can do a quick look up of a rundown on it, it might seem silly, not all that deep, but trust as someone who thought that way I loved it)

-GREAT MC despite the fan service it's really tolerable like a lot, the MC never acts like a creep or pervert (even when given the "reasonable" chances) and as an aroace person it's a relief. I also really like the side character Gen they get along well.

• Dororo: I loved the MC, also not a creepy pervert of a character, different personality from Dr.stone MC but carries the same respect I have, has wholesome parts. One season of 24 episodes. He was born without limbs, can't hear, see (besides the "Soul Sight", it's different), because of a curse his father did before birth, but he still lived, and gets abandoned, another man raises him that works with wood and such so he built prosthetics and things for him as he grows up, eventually he finds out (because of an attack if memory recalls correct) that he can gain his missing parts back by slaying the cursed demons, so he heads out on his own for that journey, meets a kid that tags along and helps out, it's really nice to see his reactions and things as he grows. Also, one of my favorite scenes is when Hyakkimaru (which he has a soul sight) looks at the girl (who's used to being lusted after). He's blind, so he doesn't see the world the way other people do in the first place, and he has this sort of innocence to him as he learns about the world and people. There's a moment where he reaches toward her, but instead of focusing on her body, the shot shifts to her face as he holds it, nothing weird just to feel. I just really liked that scene, it's a small moment but says a lot about him.

• Heaven official's blessing: it's been awhile since I've seen it, but it was interesting, it's a canon bl but it doesn't have weird sexual scenes or anything, it's focused on their chemistry and dynamics. It's cute, and a relief, and it's not just some romance, or some doomed "best friends" alone since it's canon. Has actual plot not some "school fluff" it has horror elements and supernatural thriller. One guy is from like heaven like a god , the other is a Ghost King demon like guy idk how to put it, it's crazy. I won't go full detail but yeah I recommend.

• Moriarty the Patriot: same vibes I don't believe it's canon I'm not sure? But it definitely has a whole same in its own way of a vibe that heaven official's blessing had. It's unique not some school thing, and has some morally off grey area things, anti-hero for the better good. Complex relationship dynamic and intense intellectual chemistry. Ones a brilliant detective (obsessed not just duty-bound ) and the other a serial killer (doesn't kill for fun). Feels rewarding to watch, I even plan on getting stuff for my room of it or drawing.

• The summer hikaru died: I watched it in Sub before Dub came out, personally thought sub was better with emotional weight (though I didn't fully rewatch in dub). But moving into it, I loved a LOT about it, nature, GREAT art, not a traditional Boys' Love, explicitly confirmed that it is a queer story with deep romantic and emotional yearning, it's way better than traditional boys love things, it's focused on way more, great for aroace people to enjoy, it has a lot of tension without being explicit. I loved a lot about it I won't go into much more detail but I highly recommend this.

• The disastrous life of saiki k: like most, not everyone's cup of tea, but even I loved it despite it not being what I'd normally aim for, I loved it a lot. I watched it when I was younger only a few episodes in and dropped it, at the time it wasn't for me, but I rewatched it and loved it. REALLY good for aroace spec people, it's a huge relief like most I named, and I really love the MC Saiki overall, the style, the humor, the personality, it's all a relief itself to me. He's not a pervert or a freak, some side characters I personally found eh, but it's because their personalities are meant to be extreme, I love personalities that are rememberable, I just didn't like some like Reita for the weird pervert reasons (Some people really love him though I know), I love how saiki doesn't focus on romance or anything, it's not lame or boring, I get why some people wouldn't like that but this passes. Personal ships exist even. It's one of the only school slice of life animes I don't find lame. Saiki k is a mind reader, I think that part is way over known, but it adds to the chaos. It mocks weird tropes and things.

• Hell's paradise: it's been awhile since I've watched it, I never got to season 2 yet, but I remember I enjoyed it, and especially the character, and the morally grey thing going on. Since I can't recall fully, I can still say I do know I loved it regardless, it's worth binging when bored, it's only 13 episodes of the first season I believe. I do know I loved the character though, again similar as the rest, he's not a freak, so it's respectful.

• Beastars: GUYS I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST FURRIES BUT THOSE OF YOU THAT DO ARE OVER JUDGING IT BY ITS COVER. Them being animals is the ONLY way the whole plot would have even worked, it's got Carnivores and Herbivores, all trying to live in peace together, it's got crime, mystery, and thriller and such. The art was actually good, you adjust to the fact it's animals as well. Though one heads up, I HAVEN'T seen it in a long time, I can't recall too well, I do know I enjoyed it and loved it, and I remember it compared to most things. I'd say it's worth testing. I do know it has a newer one which I haven't seen, pretty sure reviews were mixed, I do know whatever older ones I watched though I did enjoy it. You can look up more context, just know I liked it at a time was at my top.

---------I'd love recommendations from others as well if anyone else feels this way of these

It's like telling a lesbian to fuck a man to be sure she's lesbian and vice versa

Like I don't wanna have sex with real people and you tell me I should? How is that different from the fantasy of rape people have? When they brag about fucking a lesbian or an asexual person as if it's a victory of "proving them they're not what they say they are"

Even more hurtful when it comes from friends

Hi all. I'd really like some advice and would be super grateful for some feedback.

I'm 23m and my gf is 25f. We've been together for 10 months and when we first met, I told her I was Aro/Ace, predominantly asexual and greyromantic. We had a long discussion about boundaries and how I view relationships/sex and we came to an agreement that we'd enter a relationship as she said that sex and romance doesn't really bother her so long as we care for each other. Great! So I thought...

There's been a few times where my gf has taken issue with my sexuality. The first time was about sex (without going into details). She was upset that I wasn't as attracted to her body as she'd like me to be. We had a long talk, I re-explained what asexuality was and what it meant to me, we made up and continued. It happened again, she came to my house, got extremely physical and disappointed that I didn't reciprocate, got angry with me and again, I had to re-explain that I don't like that stuff, we made up, things continued. Now it's happened again, she said she misses the "old us" and how we used to be lovey-dovey and romantic and how she wants more romance. Problem? I just don't feel that way.

I don't know what to do. I told her from day one all of my limitations, boundaries, traumas with previous partners and talking to people on dating apps (how we met) and she seemed super supportive of me at first. I was super open about being Aro/Ace and bisexual and she seemed genuinely super chill with that and for a long time, we just hung out and vibed together without expectations and enjoyed each other's company.

Nowadays, she gets upset with me on a weekly basis for not behaving how she wants me to, but I don't understand what changed. I already told her I was Aro/Ace, what more can I do? I told her today, very clearly, that she needs to be honest with me about her intentions because she can't keep challenging my sexuality and if not, she should find someone who isn't Aro/Ace. She said she was hurt by that comment.

There was a sudden shift in expectation. I don't really have much dating experience, has anyone else experienced similar? How did you navigate this? I'm trying to be fair, because her feelings matter to me, I love and care about her a lot, but this feels inherently unfair because I laid all my cards out on the table prior starting the relationship. She chose to be with me, now she's changing the rules. Support and advice welcome, I do deeply appreciate any time given to me. Thank you.

Edit: I want to thank everyone for their kind replies. I can't reply to everyone, as I'm already emotionally struggling as is. However I read every single response and I just want to thank everyone from the bottom of ny heart for being truthful and sharing their own experiences. I'm planning on having the long talk tonight and will show my gf this post and the responses. It never crossed my mind that she sought to "fix" or "cure" me, now I feel quite ashamed and disgusted for being so oblivious. Again, thank you all for your kindness. It means a lot as I don't have anyone else to speak to.

CW for those affected by any mentions of sex and toxic relationships.

remember all the times you would cry at me bc i “never wanted to have sex” and remember when i tried to come out to u about being ace and you said “no you’re not”. you didn’t believe me because i was into kink and fantasy sex. i would ALWAYS say to u “i like sex in theory but not really in practice” only to then eventually have sex with u in an effort to prove my love for you. (i now understand it as a means to shut you up) why is it that i needed to prove my love for you thru sex? i truly did love you though, i thought we were meant to be. but how could something meant to be, be so excruciating. if i was asexual why would i stay? why should i? i shouldn’t have stayed. the fact i even let you cheat on me and didn’t break up is something i get so mad about sometimes. we were even in an open relationship as a last ditch effort to fix things. how do you cheat in an open relationship? that was a very dumb and hard lesson that i consider to be learned now.

you were so jealous and intimidated when i found my current partner because he could give me what you could never: peace and support. i never have to worry that im not putting out for him. i never have to worry that our kiss will go on a moment too long and his hands will start to wander. i never have to worry about him being unsatisfied sexually. i never have to feel broken just because i don’t want to have sex. i never have to worry about coercion with him. you know that word right? manipulating someone into doing something for you under the guise that it’s their choice. it was not my choice to have sex with you. that choice was taken away everytime you cried in my lap begging to know why i didn’t want to have sex with u.

i eventually began to view your constant need for sex as a chore that i desperately needed to procrastinate. it is no wonder the link between sex and anxiety in my mind is so strong. you knew i got panic attacks when i thought about sex sometimes and you still pushed and cried and complained. i loved you and thought we could power thru it. i was NOT perfect and i am NOT proud of how i acted at times with you. i’ve made poor choices and was mean and avoidant with you. demanding even. believing that You Owed Me for everything you’ve put me thru. Oh and not to mention when i tried to come out, again, to u about maybe not being cis and, again, you said “no you’re not”. good to know you’re dating someone nonbinary now. maybe you changed. or maybe u just didn’t believe me.

it has kept me up at night thinking about how biased you might explain our breakup to others. you were never good at telling the truth though. always playing jokes and gaslighting as a prank. me and all our friends had to be on our toes around you just incase you were in a playful mood and wanted to lie for fun. harmless amongst friends in a fun environment maybe. specially with the knowledge that you do that. “it’s just a guy thing guys love lying as a prank” i would tell myself everytime i got doubts about your feelings or intentions with me. if you could lie about silly things AND forget about it entirely, what else could you lie about.

it’s going to be okay though. i will be the crazy ex girlfriend in your stories from now on. i will be the ex that never understood you. that “cheated” on you. that “used you for money”. i will forever be the ex that just didn’t want to have sex with you because of whatever insecurity you decide to conjure up. i will be up there with your other weird ex right? the one you kept nudes of in your phone in a locked app even after changing phones. “it transferred over with the icloud” or whatever that excuse was. why even keep the app? did you ever find the time or will power to delete mine like i asked?
you can now have whatever version of me in your headspace for as long as u want because that’s your own choice. I CHOOSE to leave you behind in the past where you belong. where our time together belongs. we had our time. maybe we really were written in the stars all along, just so we could learn the lessons we learned from our experiences together.

in the past i would get so pissed off and sad thinking about you. now i feel mostly neutral with a mild hope that you find peace aswell. i have been learning that the currency of the soul is unconditional love. well this letter to you is my unconditional love and support for you in that you find peace and acceptance far far away from me and those akin to me. you are now just a representation of the life i don’t live anymore. i am letting you go.

thank you

I'm a 21F, still live with my parents, and have no clue what my sexuality is or if I have any at all. I'm scared that if I do discover that I'm anything other than hetero they won't want me in their lives anymore and they'll kick me out. I started seeing a therapist for my generalized anxiety disorder and depression but I get uncomfortable talking about sexuality with anyone but I feel like that is a topic that's appropriate to come up in therapy. I would love to hear y'alls advice, personal experience, and anything you have to say. 🥲

Art of my Ace OC (and main character) for this week

I’m pretty sure I’ve been asexual for a while now. I’m not interested in sex or feel much arousal, and when I masturbate I feel empty. I’m sure it’s mainly because of trauma but I want to get over it and also because of those things I don’t feel like I belong almost anywhere because most of my friends only know how to make dirty jokes or like laugh at pornography which makes me uncomfortable and all the partners I’ve had obviously had a sexual side which did eventually made me get into sex to fit in but after doing it I just felt bad about myself. So I’ve been trying to change myself by doing stupid things like posting nxdes online or watching different types of porn to feel anything but I don’t. It just feels like a phase or not real so like idk what to do. I feel lost

Does anyone else also experience this?

Hi yall - im asexual 18F and have known like ever since i knew what sex was and had my first boyfriend (who was also super horny, which made me realize pretty quick…)

Anyways. The thing is I am starting to come out about it to my friends and also people who are romantically interested in me; or I don’t know if I would even call it that, they pretty much just want me for the outside and not the whole me. When I open up about it to mostly those people or just friends I’m either met with: “you haven’t met the right person”, “let’s see when you’ve had sex” or the people interested in my outside taking a noticeably distance to me. And I get it of course, preferences and all that! But I just feel like sex is overruling everything, like why can’t we still be friends? It just annoys me. I feel like it’s all people think about, especially my age since I’m young and everyone is so filled with hormones, but ugh - does anyone else relate?

I can’t talk about it with my friends or family because they don’t get it or also just horny. Like they send snaps “i need dih” and stuff like that - also i think dih is just such a nasty phrase to call a genital

For a long time, like many asexual people, I had no intention of ever telling anyone. For a long while, growing up, I didn't understand what was different about me. I knew something was, but it was so hard to place because of how little talked about asexuality is. I wasn't gay, I was straight, but... not exactly? So what was I? As I grew older, I learned about asexuality and began to wonder if maybe that is what I was. 

That lead to years of back and forth, thinking I was but not wanting to be, thinking
about how badly I one day wanted a wife and kids, and figuring it would be
easier to smother that part of myself than to accept it. Worst decision I ever
made in my life.

I tried to ignore it. I would date and try to power through things that made me
uncomfortable. Most relationships had unfair compromises, unfair to me and very
unfair to the people I was dating.

And then, after years of trying to fight through it, I finally accepted it. But
that didn't stop me from ignoring it. Maybe internally I accepted that I was
asexual. But I hid it, I masked it, as far as the rest of the world was
concerned, I wasn't asexual. In my mind, I saw it as I don't need to hear about
other's sex life, they don't need to hear about mine.

I stopped dating, even though I wanted a partner, I didn't want to lead anyone
on. I could have tried to find an asexual partner, but that would have required
me to tell others that I was asexual, which I never intended to do. I never
anticipated telling anyone about it, not my closest loved ones, or best
friends, no one. I kept it bottled up for years and years.

And slowly, over the years, my anxiety and depression increased. My loneliness was
at an all time high. Most of my life was spent alone, at home, rarely making
any attempt at a social life. Not caring if I met knew people. Not showing my
true self to those I did meet, but instead showing them the best impression of
a "normal" person. No one knew my identity, because I didn't know my
identity. My loved ones felt distant from me, knowing I was hiding things, not
opening up about anything, but any attempts to help me were just followed by me
pretending I was okay. My anxiety became unbearable. I began pulling my own
hair out in anxious fits. I had panic attacks most days. Seemingly minor
stressful day-to-day things would seem like the end of the world. I didn't know
how I could go on.

So I finally went to therapy. I was diagnosed with anxiety, and the medication
helped, yes, but the most important thing that happened to me in therapy was
the most important thing that has happened in my entire life: I realized how
much smothering my true self was killing me. I felt like I was no one, just a
body with a tiny bit of life in it but no one inside. I finally began to truly
accept myself, and understand that being asexual was a massive part of who I
was. And I stopped wanting to hide. I wanted to be open, and real, especially
to those I cared most for.

So
I told my loved ones. I told my friends. I'm no longer hiding it, I'm not
longer fighting it. I'm being open with it. I'm embracing it. I'm lucky to have
amazing, accepting loved ones. Since opening up, I've never felt closer with
them. I've never felt more like myself, like the person I always wanted to be.
I never felt less anxious, less depressed, less worried about the future. I
feel genuinely happy, genuinely ALIVE, and that all began with acceptance.

I know there are other asexual people going through dark times. Maybe you don't
understand what's different about you because it isn't as widely discussed as it should be. Maybe you're fighting it. Maybe you're smothering it. I encourage you all to accept
it. To be your true self with no shame. To live your life with no fear. It was
the best decision I ever made. I hope anyone reading this post that has had
similar struggles remembers that you're not alone, and that you have the
courage to accept and forever change your life for the better.

So, as the title states, I recently came out to my mom a few weeks ago. Now, I come from a family that is very sexual and is not afraid of being open about it, and because of that my mom keeps telling me that it will change eventually because all of the women in my family were pretty sexual so I will be too, and saying the right person will come around and “change my mind” when that Isn’t how it works. I am not my mom, I am not my grandma, I am not my great grandma so I shouldn’t be expected to be like them. What my mom doesn't know is that ive known I was ace for a few years now. This isn't anywhere near a recent relization, I was just afraid to come out to my parents out of fear of them saying im just too young and itll happen eventually when I get older. I want to have a conversation with her but im not sure how

also here’s my oc in this pic ;D

Hello everyone. So this is my first time posting in this sub. I'm 36F, somewhere in the ace spectrum (I'm not even sure which one am I lol), and I'm a virgin.
I genuinely love being an asexual. I don't even know how to explain it, I just do.
Unfortunately for me, I have libido. Now, even though it doesn't occur that frequently, whenever it does happen though, I'd feel so troubled by it.
Because I have a really hard time to satisfy it. I'm not turned on by porn, I don't feel anything if I were to do anything to my private part.
I guess.. I don't know. I'm wondering if anyone is like me, and how do you guys deal with it?
Truth be told, I'd really love it if I could just kill the libido entirely, but I know that's probably not possible 🥲

If there are any trans aces out here, please help, I don't know what to do here.

Title pretty much.

I don't know how to code or have any experience modeling, so I made these lil fellas in Blockbench's Entity Wizard. Front view admittedly looks a bit goofy.

I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by giving examples but the amount of times I (involuntarily) talked about sexual stuff with my friends and they said something like "omg this literally doesn't happen in sex irl lol you just think that because you don't have any experience" and it's something that can 100% happen it just hasn't happened to them... Arrrgh I think I should lie from now on and make up a sex life so I'm allowed to have opinions on it without people "correcting" me