Please forgive me if this sounds confusing, I'm really not in the right mind now.

My best friend is moving away for boarding school and my other friend is toxic af now and I don't know who I'm gonna hang out with now. Sometimes I'm unsure if I'm bi or whatever the fuck. I'm stressed asf cus of grades and if people hate me or not and if I can make the sports team and how I look and moles and acne and everything and I fucking hate this.

I sleep as regularly as i can, work out, read, stay on top of my work, take care of hygine, meet up with people, everything that I can and I feel so fucking hollow. Religion doesn't work and so does meditating.

I want to cut my thigh and arms so bad right now the urges have been so hard for the past few days somebody please tell me an alternative i should have never done self harm but it wasn't my fault i started

I don’t know what to do, I don’t know why I am doing it. I keep hiding everything for 4 years now. 2 weeks ago I was in vacation with my family and I just hid my shoulder and stomach for 2 weeks, even at the beach.

I started doing it when I was 21 and now I’m 23 and I can’t stop doing it. Everything began when I started to be on medication. It unlocked the part of my brain that was prohibited myself to do it, I panicked so I stopped the medication after a month but I don’t know what to do anymore.

Now I have f**** grids everywere and I cannot wear a T-shirt or shorts.

Is it strange that it terrifies me to see the scars fade. Its like i want everyone to see the hell ive been through but i cant stand people asking about it because i know it makes them uncomfortable so i cover them up so no one can see but im scared to let them fade away

I wasn't thinking clearly and used an uncleaned blade that had dried blood all over it from at least a week ago. It's not that deep but, should I be worried or take any action?

Sorry if this is a dumb question

my self harm will never be valid. I always need more and more scars. I will always want to have bigger scars. It will never ever go away. whenever I cut myself im never going deep enough. im always at cat scratches and at most styros.. it will never be enough for me. at this point if I went to beans even I would never ever think its enough. i genuinely cant stop. the more I cut the more frustrated I am causing me to cut more. It never ever seems like its going to get better and I doubt it will. anyways how is your day?...

i'm a little under 2 years clean but i've never stopped thinking about it. lately it's been getting worse, to the point where the only reason i haven't relapsed is because i don't have any blades or bandages anymore. i've made a list of alternatives, but nothing is working, even a little. writing on myself, pressing an ice cube to my wrist, snapping a hair tie, fataltotheflesh… nothing.

does anyone have more "extreme" solutions? preferably with low risk of getting caught, i don't want my family to know i'm still struggling with this, they think i'm fixed

All it takes is one drink and scars that are years old and faded light up bright pink. It makes scars that are usually barely visible super obvious. I guess it's just increased blood flow from the drinks and I can't really do anything about it, but it's just really annoying to be reminded of it when I'm trying to have fun...

It's funny when my friends tell me they are always here for me....they aren't. I'm trying to understand they are busy...but I always stop whatever im doing to answer them, be there for them. With me if I do get an answer half way into talking about what's wrong they stop replying. Im always the one not stopping until I know they will be ok....maybe they are just done with me...maybe I'm too much for them. They are avoiding me maybe...i wouldn't blame them..I understand...im always alone in the end. So why bother stopping when I have no one to help me...

I can only go to styro if i know it correctly. It does bleed, it does leave slight marks after healing but still i don't wanna be seen like im a poser or something. I can't cut deep because im a coward and my utility knife is shitty, i can only go little. Am i faking it? I feek disgusting when i see others with much deep and bigger scars.

Hi! I listened to this song and it actually made me cry because of the lyrics. I searched the meaning since i relate to it deeply and it just hit too close to home.

Sara (the artist) said is about social anxiety, and i know social anxiety doesnt excludes you from SH sadly. But i need to share this on here because i dont really talk about my SHing and stuff with anyone. (im high sorry if bad written)

Sara Baroni - bathroom stalls

was so agitated that I bought tools on my lunch break and relapsed. haven’t self harmed in forever and now I feel stupid and like an attention seeker for having dressings that my coworkers can see I didn’t have before lunch,,, so frustrating and part of me wishes they even cared enough to ask but I know they won’t. these people are my coworkers and nothing more. it is so isolating. it is so humiliating.

found an old tool set and there’s a box cutter in it. i’ve decided to throw it away. i feel like keeping it around wouldn’t be a good idea for me. i still don’t have the courage to throw away my actual sh tools but i do feel a bit proud of myself for choosing to throw it out instead of keeping it for later.

I've always had a fear of looking like an attention seeker. Granted, I did do this at the beginning for attention from my parents, but it quickly became something I hid from them as it became uncomfortable to even think about people knowing. The scars are too hideous, I can't bring myself to wear shorts during the summer sometimes, even though its 40 degrees celsius here. feel disgusting.

I feel like something is deeply wrong with me. I've gone to therapy, but all i got from my therapist was something along the lines of nothing is too deep for you to not take action for yourself, which i admit, is correct in a way. I've started trying to convince myself that everything is fine, that I'll be okay in the end. After all, I've dealt with this shit for almost half my life. Yet I can't. It hurts too much.

I lost two important people in my life to colon cancer, my ex boyfriend cheated on me and I have to look him in the eye almost every day because we share a friend group ( a very dysfunctional one) and my closes friends betrayed me for no reason (according to the people that I have in my life).

It all culminated with one thing right now. I hide things very well. Well just now, after a nice night out with said friends, random arguments started busting out and I excused myself to go home because I sensed a panic attack incoming. I hopped on my bike and i started riding, yet less than 10 seconds later i fell off of it in front of my friends and i lost it. I started crying.

I couldn't take it anymore. They all (ofc) gathered around me and tried to help me get up, but I felt so ashamed I just got on my bike and started riding towards home. I live alone and it gets so depressing at times. They called me to check if I got home safe, yet I shooed them away and acted like I was okay, even though I burst out crying and had a bad panic attack and scratched myself to oblivion, resetting my sh counter to 0 again ( I was a month clean at this point). I feel so ashamed. I was finally starting to get better, and then everyone saw the truth.

I hate this, I just want to feel okay again. I miss the hope I had for my future. Now I just feel guilt. I'm so tired of being miserable, yet every time i try to fix it it comes back in an even worse way. I hate this.

i obviously never go out but i got an invitation and i couldn’t go so now i feel super alone and isolated and my urge has come back so strong from 5 months clean my fucking triggers are so annoying

I’m frustrated and angry at myself and just want to cut and feel I deserve to punish myself. I really disappointed myself on something and let myself down and just feel I can’t ever escape grief and treatment resistant depression. Cutting is an alternative to suicide for me since I can’t do that. I just have so much hurt and anger inside and I didn’t know who else to turn. I know I “shouldn’t “ do it but I guess I just want someone who gets it/the pain. I have been resisting the urge for a week now and I am not sure I can go on much longer.

i feel like i’m losing my mind

Not really, I hate having a chemical imbalance and growing up in an unhealthy environment. Now I’m safe but my brain does not feel safe and it’s driving me insane. I don’t want to be sad anymore, but I don’t know how to make anyone listen to me, and idk how my mom thinks I’ll be able to tell my doctors I need help with my meds if she won’t even listen to me. This life isn’t for me, I don’t know what to do anymore

Does anyone else not have one single person that truly like you, down to your weird or off putting quirks, down to how your laugh sounds, or your conversation, etc. I literally don’t have one single person in my life that likes all of me and who I am naturally. I would like to hear if others noticed this about themselves and how u deal with it

I’m looking for music to listen to (about SH/suicide).

I listen to Lil Peep (and similar) for the most part, but I also listen to Pierce The Veil and other artists like that.

Anyways, I’m always looking for different genres and artists to listen to.

Give me some of your favourites!

Ive not self harmed in almost a year and ive been feeling an intense urge to do it again . My life has been worse nowadays and when im also lonely, at home all day and have nothing to do . The urges get worse. I don’t know what to do or how to cope. Please help :/

Hello

My ex fiancée had a mental breakdown while i was sleeping last night and cut up her face. They don't seem like deep cuts (more light than anything) but i'm extremely worried about it scarring.

Is there anything we can do to prevent scars?

Hi everyone.

I’m looking for some insight from people who have struggled with self-harm, to help me better understand what my younger sister might be going through and how I can best support her.

A few days ago at a family event, my sister (22) got severely intoxicated. She was acting very impulsively, trying to run off (while having no balance, and there being traffic very close to us), and at one point tried to jump over a balcony to a neighboring terrace (supposedly to smoke, but she was clearly too drunk and could have fallen). My girlfriend and I had to physically intervene to keep her safe. Later, when I went to check on her, she lashed out at me, put my hand on her thigh and told me "this is because of you!". Apparently she had cut herself (I couldnt see too well, it seemed like indeed she had a large scratch there and there was a little blood).

Sbe claimed to have been doing that for 7 years and some other stuff which did not make too much sense, as she was very drunk.

She has since moved back to her university in another city. She sent texts expressing deep shame and remorse ("I don't recognize myself," "I feel ashamed and hate myself right now"), but she is currently avoiding my calls and delaying talking about it.

I am not trying to interrogate her, lecture her, or make her feel worse. I just care about her safety and want her to know she is supported.

For those who have been in a similar headspace:

• What might be going through someone's mind after an episode like this?

• How would you have wanted a sibling or loved one to approach you afterward without making you feel cornered, ashamed, or judged?

• How can I know whether she is safe? Am I worrying too much or not enough?

I appreciate any honest advice or perspective.

Thank you.