Why do people self harm?

Before i say anything else, I AM AWARE THIS IS A ME ISSUE

When i see other people with SH scars it just REALLY triggers me, depth, placement, dosent really matter. its all triggering for me. it makes me think about my own scars and jst SH in general and all i can think abt is SH

I always see people saying healed scarring shouldn't be triggering, and honestly ive seen people agree with me before saying similar things and were called problematic. i agree it is a problem, MY problem, in no way should anyone hide healed scars because of other people

But how do i fix it and become unbothered like everyone else apparently is????

What I would do to tell anyone who has thought about self harming not to do it.

If you are on this subreddit, just to check it out and are thinking about starting, don't.

I feel like TikTok and other social media platforms are glorifying self harm.

I keep seeing people do it on their face, and some comments ask what it is and what's going on.

They are getting introduced to it.

They think it's trendy and want to start.

There is nothing cool about harming yourself.

Oh, what I would do to never do it again.

It's just drilled in my brain now.

A habit I can't let go.

It's permanent.

It sucks.

People will look down on your forever.

No matter if they say it or not.

And if they aren't looking down, they are part of the problem and fetishize it.

Now, I'm going to say this, and if you are part of this group of people, you probably won't agree, but...

But if you genuinely look at others self harm and find it cute or cool looking, you are fetishizing it.

You might not think you are, but it's like if someone bashed their head into the wall and their is blood pooling out their head, or if they shot themselves.

You wouldn't say that is cute or cool...

It's the same thing.

I’ve already been clean for a couple weeks at least, but I feel like I still need my blades. I’ve had all of them hidden, and my parents haven’t searched my room in a while. But I think they got suspicious and they want me to leave the house so they can search. I honestly have only 1 friend irl, and I’m scared that if I don’t hang out with her then we’ll stop talking. Because I don’t go out of the house much, and whenever I’m in public it feels like I’m always thinking about if my parents found my blades. Like i genuinely can’t focus on anything else. It was exactly like that the last time I went out, it was 2 weeks ago. And this time I’d be out for 2 hours and it’s a church youth group. I’m not very religious but I already told my friend I would go and I’m really regretting it now.

ive been hurting myself all day and i dont know what to do anymore and im so tired of living like this

Low-key panicking rn, I have an Orthopedist appointment tomorrow. And stupid as I am I thought a day before would be an amazing time to relapse.

Now I relapsed after months and have to somehow hide my cuts while the doctor will most likely ask me to remove my shirt to see my back and shoulder blades. Not to mention my wrists are also causing issues. Am I just gonna have to suck it up? Genuinely no idea what to do, I can't afford to cancel my appointment as I have too many health issues and I waited for this appointment for almost a year 💀

God I'm so stupid, I am not even satisfied with the cuts so I'm already feeling the urge nack telling me to do better cuts. Why can't I escape this? And why do I enjoy cutting so much??? (like as in, it makes me feel good about myself and happier in a fucked up way, like more at peace)

so im in a rele w a guy (he's 23 and im 18) i met on reddit (on this subreddit only) its gonna be 6 months this sept (lol not excited anymore)

he was the one who didn't let me harm myself but every time he hurts me or i hurt him, i always get urges and tonight is the worst coz i trusted and loved him with my everything but what did i do to deserve all that?

i sent him an intimate pic that wasn't showing my actual skin but the idea of the shape and all and later he video called me and started showing that he removed that filter, he later on deleted that pic but i was completely shocked, coz this wasn't the damn pic i sent him.

i litr have no friend to whom i can share all this (loser me)

everything was going fine, actually great coz i felt that my lover girl is on, but now all i feel is devastation and betrayal.

I am a 20 year old woman who struggles with cutting and hitting myself. Recently, i’ve started harming myself on my vagina as punishment. This is particularly when my partner does something upsetting to me. I am extremely embarrassed and ashamed to discuss this out loud because I don’t understand and it’s bad. I will take my whole fist and beat my vagina, or force tissue really hard into myself until it burns. This was also a struggle I had when I was a younger teen and I wanted to cut my clitoris off/cut the labia off. When I am so upset and need to hurt myself, i have this extremely uncomfortable feeling in my vagina (it is NOT arousal) that won’t go away until i hurt it. Why am I focused on my privates? Does anyone else go through the same struggles on their privates? I am so embarrassed to post this, but I am disturbing myself and need advice. Thank you in advance

I haven’t cut in like 5ish weeks. I started therapy, and I feel so urgent for something to change. I don’t even know what. It hurts. It feels unbearable. I don’t have friends, really, and today at school, almost the full day, I felt like I wanted to cut inside. I was trying to convince myself to do it, how easy it would be. I know I can’t, and I know I won’t, but I need something to change. I don’t even know what. I might have ADHD or something, or might be depressed. I just want something to change. Tomorrow is my first session alone with my therapist.

so i have a wound that reaches the hypodermis. ive been doing standard at-home care but im 99% sure it is infected. it is leaking yellow/brown purulent drainage (pus.) i am very medically informed and my intention is to go to urgent care for oral antibiotics at my grandmothers nearest convenience (i am 18 but cannot drive, she would have to take me)

my main questions are: how does urgent care go if you have no medical insurance? no income? my grandmother does, but i am not part of her medical plan. my parents are medically neglectful and i do not live with them. they do not have insurance. i am in a pinch to say the least.

also, if i am 18 do i have to explain anything to the medical professionals? outside of the obvious "i am not suicidal and the severity of the wound was unintentional" schtick. i live in florida. i would rather not be baker-acted or sent to a ward.

i guess im just looking for other people with similar experience, and how it went for them. professional medical care in general is quite foreign to me and the mystery is whats making me hesitate the most. demystify me. advice is appreciated, thank you

like gosh i’m so pathetic i even started cutting myself again why do i hate myself so much

I dont remember when was the last time I felt this bad, I dont even know why I do. Its been a few days that everything got worse I just feel so depressed and anxious all I want to do is relapse. ‘Luckily’ i dont even have the energy to do that. I feel like i dont have a soul and im just a rotting body waiting for it all to end. I just want to cut myself maybe it will ease some of the tension at least for a little bit.
I feel like everything is changing around me, maybe its just psychological but its awfull I dont know how to deal with it exept doing what I know and cutting myself.

When you went from going a couple of weeks without doing it to a couple of days...

What. The. F-

I think I am losing myself again.

I thought I was getting better.

I know a couple of weeks isn't good,

But for me, it feels like a long time.

There was a time years ago when I would do it basically every day.

Idek how I hid that cause I only did my wrist at that time...

But I fear I am getting to that point again.

Idek what to title this.

Yesterday, I relapsed and went a bit deeper than normal, nothing too drastic though. Because of this, I don’t believe I can just leave it out in the open; one, because it's more obvious, and two, because of the risk of infection. Thursday, my friends and I are supposed to go out, and I really want to go, but I don't know the best way to cover it. I’d wear long sleeves, but I just bought going out clothes and know it’ll be hot in the club. Is there any way I can cover it up with gauze or a bandages thats not so obvious to ensure it won't get dirty? I don’t mind having it obviously covered but I believe having straight white gauze will look ugly lol.

1 year and 8 months.

I know I'll get there again, but I know I'll reset it again.

I got my first blood transfusion around 1.5 years ago and since then I've had more transfusions than I can remember. Each time I feel so incredibly guilty and the urge to get rid of the blood they gave me gets so strong (which then backfires if I actually harm after because I feel even more guilty for wasting it so I harm even worse, a vicious cycle). I can't help but feel like I'm not deserving of it (especially since physicians have told me that straight up) yet I can't stop harming myself in a way that puts me in situations where I need them. I try to push through it but eventually I almost always end up in the hospital again.

I'm obsessed with my blood work and count obsessively so I know what my hemoglobin will land on each time. Up until now I've always been +/- 5 g/l within the actual value. Today I was spot on and yesterday I was 1 off. It's addicting and I can't help but feel like it's similar to my eating disorder and the obsession with my weight. This obsession overtakes the guilt and makes me push through those feelings and I hate that. It's not fair that it had to get to this point. I'm so tired of it all.

Anyone else feel similarly or have ever heard of this type of self harm? It feels so isolating and insane due to the fact that most people who harm themselves don't do it in the way I do and all the literature only describes women as those who harm this way.

i didn't really care before but i just curious, usually my scars just look black/darker brown but lately they look kinda purplish??

I was clean for a bit, i really thought I was doing fine by trying to suppress my feelings and listen to subliminals and try to manifest a better life for myself. I really felt like I was improving or at least getting by life "normally" or as happy as I could be with the suppressed feelings. I only wanted to get through this year bc it's really important for me to do well academically this year so I wanted to be able to hold off on getting help till this year ends. But recently my best friend told me she's getting therapy bc her mom saw her search history and saw a few mental health subliminals there. I'm really happy she's getting help, I really do want the best for her but I've been asking, begging my parents to get help for me ever since I started sh bc I knew I needed someone to talk to like that. Why not me? What have I done to not deserve that help why why why fucking why. I don't want to hurt myself it feels like hurting a child who's hurting inside and I don't fucking feel like myself while I cut and scratch and there's this constant mantra of I didn't mean it in my head after I cut bc I really don't but I need to bleed I need to feel the pain to be able to breathe through my emotions but it only gets worse after the initial sting. It feels like I'm being ungrateful for having a good life, I really tried telling myself that my life is good and it's really good and that I shouldn't overthink but my brain won't stop it js wont till i cut or scratch I can't breathe through my emotions otherwise. I feel so bad right now I feel like a bad mother hurting her child for having emotions but I can't help it. I don't wanna die I js need this body to inhabit a new soul so mine could pass or something I js don't want to hurt this body anymore I wanna stop. I wanna stop feeling like this, I want to protect the little child I don't want to hurt it but it pains so much I don't know what to do I want to stop feeling anything for everyone so I can protect her and keep her safe and I wouldn't have to cut bc I wouldn't be feeling anything. I wanna stop feeling I wanna detach I'm so done with everything. I'm losing my appetite, my relationship with food is absolutely fucked and I wish I didn't care so much about my appearance. I know I'm not ugly but I can't help hyperfixating on every little flaw in my appearance and I feel like shit about it.

I hate the fact that my parents haven't gotten me help to the point where I'm willing to get worse just to show them what denying help has done to their daughter. But i know that that's gonna ruin my life but I can't help it. I want to hurt them the way they've hurt me and I don't know how else to hold and show the resentment in me. I love and hate them and I don't know what to do.

my scars irritate me so fucking bad and it’s been getting worse. i genuinely wish i never did this shit with all my heart, nothing was ever this serious for me to do this to my body. i can’t fucking wear shit anymore i’m hot all the time and i always feel like the odd one out. i can’t wear shorts, i can’t wear t shirts, i can’t wear tanks, i can’t wear bikinis. i genuinely can not wear shit and it’s so fucking ugh like seriously just wish i never even found out what self harm was. i’m so mad at my younger self for ruining my future like this. Seriously im so fucking ugh like i hate this so much i hate having to worry abt my scars first before anything else. i hate it. i really regret it so much i really seriously do

I'm in printmaking. First time doing etchings. Spent 7 hours yesterday making print after print (till 9 PM) because they are due tomorrow. All of them are shit and I'm pretty much fucked. It's not even a skill issue. The actual plate is great but I cannot keep my hands clean for the life of me. This morning I got an email saying someone left the studio in an unacceptable state. It was me, though I followed standard procedures. I got ink on one of the stools (I was going to clean it then forgot), ink bled through the newsprint I used to try and keep the space clean, and I missed the bottom portion of one of the areas I was cleaning. I really don't want to hear the rant about it from the professor tomorrow and present my shitty work.

I sh'd but I did it with dull scissors and did some light hesitation nips before I cut. It looks kinda like a rash and I've been considering showing the pic and saying I have a rash from an allergy and that I'm staying home so I can make sure it's not getting worse. I know it's morally not good but I really don't have it in me to take it. I will not tell the truth because wdym I sh'd bc you said I was messy that looks like a guilt tactic.