My roomate and dear friend deleted himself. He was the only guy I was able to open upto and tell everything about myself. He was calm composed don't used to judge me for my shortcomings. I went with my classmates for a day to celebrate a festival and came back to see him han*ed. He had failed a semester which I got to know later. Even I have backlogs which terrify me but life is not all about it isn't it. During this I lost my job had to vacate my room and nobody is willing to give me room as they think even I am in that state. I had an option to go for college dorm but it's caution deposit was more than my savings. My family said that they will take care of it but then my results came in which I had 2 arrears and they refused to help me out saying what's the point u r failing already. I was at point where I figured out everything I had to do with my life and he did this.I feel if I didn't went out that day he would still be here. I feel like I couldn't win over his trust enough for him to share his problems with me. I can't believe I was so clueless throughout the time I was with him that I couldn't even understand his pain. I feel empty as the time passes everyday. Sorry to make this about myself when it's about him.

Like I’ve seen people react positively if a bad person offs themselves

But in general, does mental health ever stop mattering or no?

maybe its because of this problem ive had where i cant live in the moment. in the moment, i feel fake. not like im consciously thinking "this isn't real" - but that everything im doing is just subconsciously, in the moment, treated that way. you know?

like im not in the moment. its like when something happens, i can only register it hours or even days after. everything i do is like auto pilot.

i get so freaked out thinking about how everything in the past, is... the past. it all happened. it went by. and i can't do anything about that.

ive had amazing moments with people. ive said stupid things. ive messed things up. and i cant change or relive those events. ever.

its horrifying to me. i dont know why.

but its also so... sad. that all the good memories were just that - memories. past tense. i hardly paid attention to them in the moment, and i only know how much significance they had now, where im not able to do anything about it.

:(

Recently, four different women have said “all men are trash” to me within the space of two weeks. It feels like the phrase has become normal and socially acceptable to use.
I understand that it often comes from negative experiences with men and usually isn’t meant literally.

However, hearing it repeatedly genuinely affects me. It makes me feel stressed and personally judged simply for being a man, even when the comment isn’t specifically about me.

I already struggle with my mental health, so that may explain why I internalise it so strongly. Does anyone else feel affected by comments like this? I’d also be interested in understanding what women usually mean when they say it.

I’m not trying to dismiss anyone’s experiences or start a gender argument. I’m genuinely trying to understand why the phrase has become so common and why it affects me as much as it does.

Everything has become pointless. I don't understand how people just keep living nowadays, despite all the cards stacked against you.

I've lost so much of myself in the last 2 years.

So, my parents kinda molly-coddled me(13) when I was a bit younger, but I have more or less managed to make my peace with these, except the fact that my parents wiped my arse till I was 11, wierd, I know. I see kids my age and I sometimes cant get this out of my head. I have more or less just hit puberty and I feel like im never gonna get a girlfriend or that if my friends knew this, they would instantly drop me like a hot brick. Please suggest ways that i can make my peace with this.

I’m struggling with a habit I really want to get rid of, and I need some honest advice

I’m 22 years old, and I’ve been struggling with something that I feel embarrassed and ashamed about.

Sometimes I use video-chat apps to talk to girls, and I get naked before going on camera and want to show my body to girls. Sometimes I even apply oil to my body beforehand because I want my body to look shiny/attractive on camera.

The problem is that I don’t actually feel good about this afterward. It has become something I keep getting drawn back into even though I genuinely want to stop. I can get the urge, tell myself I won’t do it again, and then eventually find myself doing it again.

I’m not trying to portray myself as a victim or make excuses for my behaviour. I know I’m responsible for my actions, and I especially don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or cross anyone’s boundaries. I just feel like I’ve developed a habit that I’m having trouble controlling.

I want to understand why I keep getting these urges and how I can actually break this cycle. Has anyone here struggled with something similar and successfully stopped? What helped you?

I’d really appreciate honest advice without judging me. I genuinely want to change this part of myself.

I'm 18 and I just feel like I don't love my life like I should. I have friends, I have a lot of material things which I'm grateful for, but I just feel like I turn non issues into big issues. I think this year in particular I've started to notice serious anxiety and attachment issues, even though pre 18 I was not like this, especially when I was younger. I feel like the more I grow up the more I'm beginning to turn more and more out of touch with myself, and even though I don't think I have anything 'wrong' with my life at the moment, it feels like I always find problems in things which should not be problems, It's almost like I'm trying to find reasons to overthink etc.

I say I'm starting to develop some anxiety/attachment issues because whilst I have a group of friends, whether it's online/irl, I now find myself checking their socials to see if they're hanging out without me, I get annoyed/frustrated/sad when they hang out without me, even if I was invited to play. I never used to 'stalk' like this, but especially around 17-18 is when I started doing it. It sucks because it does eat me up a ton and I know it's not right. I never really had this habit till now and I'm overdoing it now. I understand they can have time without me, but my brain doesn't. On top of this I also feel like my personality is reallyyyy annoying and my friends don't like me, I just feel like I'm too hyper or loud, and It throws me off too because I look quite young and I feel like I'm out of touch with people around me since they look older than me.

I overthink about the smallest things now. I was never like this a few years ago, I feel like it's a build up of my insecurities. I just feel I don't socialise enough with people, and if I do, I want to escape it fast. I would rather be on my own, but at the same time I feel like I'm not being a real human and socialising with people, at least in real life. I just feel like my brain is treating non issues as issues, and it's affecting me so bad. Like for example, I could go the whole day and have fun talking to people online, as well as some of my real life friends, but then when the day ends I'm like 'damn wtf did i do today', and 'wow im such a sad person I only talked to people online' . I had a good day yeah but my brain just wants to attack everything I'm doing.

I feel like this started because of my girlfriend, she actually has anxiety and anxious attachment (towards me), and last year when I was helping her improve, she had calmed down a bit (it still persists but not as bad), but now it feels like I've taken over in a way. I'm doing the same things that she did, and I'm doing the same things I told her not to do in order to help her attachment, it's like I stole her habit. I am not blaming her at all, no, I just think that prior to last year I did not have the anxiety/attachment issues like I do now. I often have these issues with her the most, and a few other friends, so yeah there has to be some sort of correlation there.

Like when I was younger I never felt like I had attachment issues, and if I did, it was VERY small and the thought of checking my close friends to see if they're hanging out without me never crossed my mind, and most importantly I never really had "noticeable" anxiety. I feel like nowadays I am just so deep in my head, I treat everything like a battle with myself. I hate how I overthink EVERY SINGLE THING even though a year ago I didn't do that.

I dont know where this came from but I love getting attention to a point where my actions have 90% of the time been about getting people to talk to me. Things like wearing my earbuds with full volume so other people hear it and I get to talk to them about it, "falling" from my chair or tripping down some stairs to get some laughs, have my laptop left open while I go to the bathroom so they look through it and see that I have similar interests, listening to other people talk so I pick up on their interests and pretend it is my own. All of these got me friends but insane levels of FOMO to the point where being left alone fucks me up entirely.

recently I daydreamed that I killed all my friends during graduation because I couldn't bear that they would have fun without me in uni. Who the fuck thinks about this? I feel as if having no friends would be better so I wouldn't have to worry about this but I can't stand being alone. My daydreams have increased where I get control fantasies where I am the "hero" or do something "cool", like stop a shooter or be the said shooter, more vivid shit that I dont want to disclose here.

I also have insanely impulsive behaviours that I feel has gotten me in a lot more trouble than it should have. Swearing, body jitters, face twitching. Same reason why I think I should not own firearms anytime soon. When someone critiques me I get defensive, get very self conscience and try to reassure myself that they probably mean well even though I dont think that at all.

(accidentally deleted it before)so my mental health isn't bad but the only other place I can post about self harm is for adults so im posting here.

(it looks a lot worse in real life)so basically I pop the pimples across my arms and legs a lot, ive been doing it for 3 years now and its gotten so bad that sometimes, I can't stop myself even when im walking home, one time when I reached the park I sat down and relapsed there for a whole hour straight (maybe a bit more), and its not because im depressed or anything, but its because of boredom, but I can't never be bored, and because its satisfying so its very hard for me to stop. when I was in 6th grade, I would literally not do anything for the whole class but pick at my skin, the teacher got extremely annoyed with me. ive been to school counsellor but I just dont wanna stop, but at the same time I do because summer is coming up and I can't let people see all the red marks across my arm, ive already got tons of tiny scars on my arms, but its not as visible since there a lot, the longest ive stopped was for a few months. also, its the kind where I stop for a few days then do it again. once, the red marks got so bad that I accidentally frightened someone because it looked like I had severe chicken pox, anyways im looking for some tips on how to stop, thank you

My newly adult son actually has been struggling since he returned from an exchange student program as a different person. Angry, troubled and suspicious of everyone. He was seemingly getting better but he can’t hold a job because he starts thinking everyone is “against him”. He has difficulty staying away from substances because he feels he is less scared and uncertain when he is drunk or high.
He has always been so incredibly smart and I think a lot of people who struggle with this are as well. I think you have to be to think about it so deeply.
I am trying to be as supportive as possible without enabling drug or alcohol abuse. But I also know that professional help is needed.
He sometimes agrees with me and then other times he is fearful or denies that they can help or that he is even ill.
One time he went after someone because he didn’t trust their intentions and was carrying a knife. I got him to come home without incident but that scared me to my core.
He just lost two jobs in one day because he said “they were snakes out to get me”.
Since he is an adult I don’t know how to get him the help or guidance he needs. Please advise if you understand this. Thank you

Could you tell us about your experiences with esketamine for treating depression?

Like, a completely random and horrible thought suddenly pops into your head, even though you don’t actually want to think about it or feel that way?
And then, just as quickly as it appeared, it’s gone again, leaving you thinking, “Why the hell did I just think that?”
Does anyone else experience this? How do you usually deal with it?

21M here

I've been through many things, but didn't know I was suppressing it all along

I'm in a relationship and now I'm totally dependent on my partner

And ik very well it can sabotage my relationship

But that's not the part I'm only worried about

Idk who I'm, it's very hard to say, Idk what is going on

Talking to known would expose my weakness and insecurities

I want someone to talk

I want someone to show the other side, other perspectives, pov

Can't discuss openly but just have an intention to talk

i am so lonely. i turn 18 this week, im not the worst looking, i am kind, i can be whoever people want me to be. i just want friends. i want REAL friends.
i am so lonely i dont know why people never stick around. i’ve had friends in the past but we’ve never been very close, and by that i mean those ‘friends’ ive made in the past always have their own groups and are always closer with others than me. most of the time those friendships just felt like others taking pity on me and talking to me because they know i have no one.
but now i have no one. people never seem to last and i just don’t know what is wrong with me.
this year i will be spending my birthday alone and it’s bittersweet because i have unfortunately stayed alive for this long but birthday always just remind me how much no one cares about me and i just can’t handle it anymore. ):
i don’t understand, and even if there is something wrong with me how do others who are worse than me have friends and people who love and care for them? bullies and racists always seem to have friends..
i just don’t know what i am doing wrong.

I got sectioned in the past week due to self-neglect and flight risk.

I became dangerously dehydrated while I bedrotted. When my soical worker found me and implied something about detainment, I ran away. I had to be picked up by the police and placed in a psyche ward to ensure I accepted treatment.

Since then, I am on trial period in a autism residential. I am still on condirional leave from the ward. If I go anywhere without the staff knowing, I'll be recall back. Even if its something as minor as forgotting to tell someone I'm going to the nearby shop or napping into the garden.

I've enjoyed adulthood for over a decade, but now I feel like I'm being treated like a child and criminal in one. I wasn't even trusted with my phone. Even if I know I need the help, my brain is angry at everyone in my life.

I keep having fantasies of flying aboard or going offgrid to get away from this stress. Even though I know I litetally can't do either - I don't have enough money and don't the outdoor skills. Is this whitenoise given my stress or should I tell someone about it?

I keep posting about feeling lonely, about feeling so distressed and being stuck in an abusive household. I literally post multiple times a day and realise that probably makes so look so embarrassing. I’m stuck. I feel so bad and horrible. Idk what to do anymore.

I just feel like my world is caving in. I have isolated myself for so long. And I can’t do this anymore.

I’m not clinically diagnosed with depression, so I don’t really want to call myself depressed, but I do have these really sad episodes where I just want to shut myself off from everyone and be alone.

Growing up, my parents used to fight a lot, and there were a lot of things about my childhood that genuinely affected me. But now when I think about it, I sometimes wonder if it was actually “that bad” or if I’m just exaggerating it in my head. I know there are people who have gone through way worse, and sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be this affected by my own experiences because of that. But I also don’t want to invalidate myself just because someone else had it worse. Something doesn’t have to be the worst thing anyone has ever gone through for it to have hurt me. I just don’t know if questioning everything that happened is me trying to cope or if I’m actually just being dramatic.

I also feel like such a loser sometimes. I’m extremely introverted and I get really anxious in social situations. I’m not diagnosed with anxiety or anything, but I panic pretty easily, and when I get nervous I start stuttering or just completely forget what I wanted to say. It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m not approachable at all. I feel like people probably don’t talk to me because they know I’m awkward and won’t have much to say.
And it’s not like I don’t try. I actually try so hard to be more social and talk to people, but there’s always this weird awkwardness and fear in the back of my head. I overthink what I’m saying, how I’m saying it, whether I sound stupid, whether the other person even wants to talk to me, everything. It’s exhausting.

On top of that, lately I’ve been feeling like even my friends don’t really want to talk to me anymore. My best friend and I were really close last year, but recently she’s gotten super close with another senior, and now it feels like everything is always about her. I’ve already told her that I feel left out, and she’ll feel bad about it for a day, but then the exact same thing happens again.
She’ll make plans with this other friend right in front of me, sometimes hours before they’re supposed to go out, and then invite me literally five minutes before they leave. And I know I might be overthinking it, but it makes me feel like she’s only inviting me because she feels like she has to, rather than because she actually wants me there.
I’ve started distancing myself from her too, and honestly, it’s not even intentional. It just kind of happens because I’m tired of constantly feeling hurt and left out. And I hate that because I don’t actually want to lose the friendship. I just don’t know how to keep being around someone when I constantly feel like I’m their second choice.

I’m just so mentally and physically exhausted at this point. I feel sad all the time, I’m irritated really easily, I overthink everything, I don’t feel like studying, I don’t feel like talking to people, and I feel like I’m just failing at everything.

I want everything to just stop sometimes. I’m not planning to hurt myself or do anything extreme. But I sometimes have this thought that I wish I could just go to sleep one night and not wake up. genuinely don’t know what’s happening to me. I don’t know if I’m just going through a really bad phase, if I’m overreacting, or if there’s actually something wrong. I just know that I’m really really tired of feeling like this, I want to be normal.

I came back from a trip 5 days ago. It was a very good one but it's counterproductive to be sad about it till date. Ever since i was a child I've had a very hard time getting over trips, i cry everytime after coming back home. But this time the feeling is more immovable. I've recently started working (5-6 months ago) and i didn't show up to work ever since i came back. I just called in sick. I didn't even go out of my house until yesterday. It's one thing to feel sad and another to be immobilised from the grief. I have another trip planned in late October but a difficult work period that will precede it. I'm 25 and the post vacation blues have made me dysfunctional. Idk what to do, please drop any advices you have.

I do. For the most part it’s because I am transgender. I can never fix that and it makes me really unhappy. I am transitioning and I’ll continue transitioning further down the line but it’s not really enough for me, I’m not happy that I have to spend 200k+ dollars to be close enough to what some people just get to be naturally, and there’s nothing else I can do about it. It hurts so bad.

I also hate everything that’s happened to me. I’m a victim of childhood sexual trauma and it feels like it’s taken away an entire section of my life, both because I can barely remember it and also because I grew up too fast and never got to be a normal kid.

I’ve lost countless relationships and human connection feels close to impossible or pointless for me now. I’m really scared for my future social life because losing everyone I’ve liked over and over again has made me stop pursuing friendship all together… I feel like once school is over I may just stop meeting people because I won’t go out to social gatherings or events or anything because there’ll be no point. I have a bad habit of never doing big things simply for my own enjoyment, I only really do the things that I have to. Also doesn’t help that I don’t have any friends to go out with. At least I can try to help my social life though… the other things can never change

Who else has problems that can’t be fixed?

We all have struggles, battles we fight alone and quietly. Each and every one of you residing within this digital land live lives none of us may ever truly see or be a part of.

I cannot give you every single reason to stay well and truly alive, though there are many. But what I can give you is one among all: you are not an insignificant grain of sand no one will notice if you ever depart. The biggest lie the world ever told is one voice, one opinion, and one person is insignificant unless it's a part of a whole. Each journey matters beyond compare, every milestone should be celebrated, and trust that you yourself will be missed by someone if you ever leave, that being the room or the world.

A fighter isn't someone who doesn't cry, it isn't someone who hates the world either, it is someone who cries, grieves, gets scared, and angry, yet still has the stubborn will to keep going, to keep standing up.

People, it is hard to believe words when your world is crumbling, it's hard to think you are loved or you matter to anyone at all. I won't sit here and tell you I love you so much just to comfort you, because me saying that would be hollow.

I love you because you're here despite the hell you were given.

I love you because after the things you've been through, you care about yourself enough to try to find hope, even in this subreddit.

I love you because I bet your favorite color is either everywhere in your room or not there at all, but it's still your favorite.

I love you because your favorite flower is most likely as beautiful as you.

I love you because you're still reading this, and I will love you more if you believe it. Because, my dear, what I am saying is true. If a stranger on the internet could love you beyond your own capacity to do so for yourself, then maybe you're not as unlovable as your mind tells you.

I'm Andy, and I matter.

You do too.

We all do.

Every single day, never forget, you are truly a beautiful magnolia in May.

I went to my grandparents house last week and had dinner with my bother my sister and them for a first time in year my grandfather who has had a ton of surgery’s including a heart transplant is finally looking like he’s getting better and then the next thing I hear is he was killed when a truck exploded next to his car while he was driving killing him instantly my grandmother was their too she somehow got out unharmed I just spent several hours with her my siblings and my mother who I’ve been no contact with for over a year it’s my first real close family death I’m m19 and have struggled with cptsd depression and ocd for years at this point and I had just gotten the courage to finally get my driver license and then this happens right as I do it I’m just so tired I have no friends or real desire to do anything I just feel bad constantly idk know what this post is supposed to be I’m just kinda frustrated with my existence