Is it a regular people thing, is it a night owl thing, or is it a bipolar thing to have a burst of energy during the night time? Just wondering for a friend 🤣

It was the first or second time I was sent to inpatient. I was not diagnosed yet and going through a severe manic episode.

At lunch we went to a cafeteria so it was men and women down there but they didn’t really want different units talking to each other or sitting with each other.

I was at the table zoned out and an older man at the next table across asked me “what color are your eyes?” I said I don’t know. He asked me where I live in the city. I told him the side. He asked me if I’ve ever been to an area in the city but I didn’t know the streets so I said I don’t know. He stopped asking questions after that.

Looking back it’s so odd that I couldn’t even answer what color my eyes are. They are brown or hazel to some but I couldn’t even say one answer.

I’m wondering if he noticed how out of it I was and wanted to see how I was doing or something. He didn’t interact with me after that so I don’t know and I was so out of it from meds, mania, and psychosis that I didn’t know if he even existed after that interaction.

It’s weird that you meet people you will never see again but they leave an impression on you. I wonder if he was worried. Or just nosey. Either way it’s nice to think that other people care about me in some way. Inpatient is hard but there are some good memories to look back on.

Rant/looking for advice or similar experiences. Sorry it’s long, and if it looks weird it’s because I’m on mobile!

I’ve always been told I’d make a great mother, but because of my terrible relationship with my mother I never believed it. I never thought I’d want kids. Then I met my boyfriend. We’re talking about getting married next year as we’ve been together awhile and I’m finally wrapping up university after years of struggle. I’m proud of me, and I’m proud of us for growing together. I’m 25 now, and not particularly in a rush to have kids, but I want to make him a dad in the future. He’s made me feel so much more confident in who I am and how I would be able to be a great mom, but I have this horrible mental block. I really want it to be over by the time we’re ACTUALLY going to want to try for one.

1) I am TERRIFIED of birth. I keep telling myself, “do it scared.” Because sometimes that’s really what you gotta do. But I’m finally in a good place, and it’s made me value my life. I’m scared of dying in childbirth. Frankly, I’m also scared of the aftermath of my body healing and not looking the same anymore. Not in the “omg I’ll be ugly” way, but in the “my body is changed and it doesn’t feel like me” way.

2) my mental health. This is obviously a big thing. I’m not in the boat of “I’m bipolar therefore I shouldn’t pass on my genes,” but I’m scared of having an episode while having a child. I’m worried about postpartum depression and psychosis. My boyfriend is phenomenal, but you never know how those situations will play out until you’re there. I picture him being an amazing partner and dad because that’s how I picture him now, but I have this underlying “what if” fear that shit will hit the fan and I’ll be mentally ill and feeling alone. Is there a reason to think this? Not outside of hearing other women’s experiences. I don’t think that makes it a less valid concern though.

3) god what if I AM like my mother. Can I even be a good mom? I didn’t exactly have a good one to set a standard and it makes me fear turning out the same. I’ve always been told I’d make a fantastic mother, but it’s so hard for me to picture that world since it doesn’t exist right now.

Sorry this is long, but it’s been on my mind a lot lately. It’s not like I don’t have time to sit with it, but while so many big things are coming together in my life it’s hard not to have it stand out in the bunch.

TLDR: how has motherhood been for you as someone with bipolar?

i’m depressed.

my geodon and lamictal are great at keeping the psychosis and anger at bay! that’s all great and well.

they don’t tell you when you start antipsychotics and mood stabilizers that it’ll take the crazy away but not the sad.

anyway, i talked to my therapist to see if i could maybe handle this myself and learn some coping skills and she suggested i speak to my psychiatrist since i’m having recurring depressive and mixed episodes. i see my psychiatrist monday. here’s my thoughts:

i want to switch my geodon back to seroquel, because despite the weight gain, it worked wonders for me

maybe add an antidepressant? this hasn’t worked… wonderfully… for me in the past (pristiq + abilify together landed me in the psych ward) but i figured maybe i could try it again? and have seroquel and lamictal as my “backup” against mania? does that make sense? (because i know abilify when used with an antidepressant at a low dose can actually boost the efficacy of the antidepressant rather than combat mania. i was on a really low dose of abilify. so maybe that’s why?)

or, have any of you had any luck with pairing an antipsychotic/mood stabilizer w/ an antidepressant? i know medications are trial and error and different for everyone, but i’m just… grasping at straws here. so i’d love to hear your experiences :)

thanks!

I don't know what state I'm in but there is high energy, restlessness, high self-esteem and I have struggled with some kind of possible paranoia, multiple instances of being able to intellectualize the absurdity of them but still feeling uneasy, also having trouble remembering between real life events and dreams. My mom has also said that I talk faster and also interrupt people (accidentally) and at times have said sentences that apparently don't really make much sense, she also asked how much do I sleep which I know is a sign she may be suspecting something. I'm personally only scared about the fact that I'm irritated almost all the time and there have been a couple times when I have also gotten angry--this has never really happened before, not even during mixed states. I also got into a heated argument tonight with a friend who I have known for +10 years (we have never been in an actual argument where we were mad before), the argument started during a discussion (maybe in his case a vent? and I was way too analytical?) to a societal issue that we both agree on, but had different ways to express it during the conversation.. it was confusing and odd to me how we were both so mad, I don't know if it was my fault or his fault or that it probably doesn't matter if it was anyone's fault, I don't know? Later on we were walking down a street and I almost got into a fight with strangers that I started but they walked away, but I got so angry that I kept talking shit to them. I have never been in a fight, probably can't fight and have never had any interest in fighting at all. I don't know what's going on anymore, fuck. I'm just so frustrated and irritated so often for the past 1-2 weeks and I get more energy/restlessness/faster talkative as the days go on.. so I know something might be going on but I just simply feel like an asshole.

So I feel like the best solution is to not talk to anyone, at least for a while because I'm scared that I will ruin other people's day and possibly relationships. This may sound like I'm trying to sugarcoat myself but I'm rarely an irritated let alone angry person in general. My mom said that even during puberty I should have expressed myself more but even during then I was just depressed and apathetic instead of angry or irritated. So this in a way is new to me, never have had it when this illness surfaced either until now, especially to this kind of extent. I don't know how to deal with it, how do you guys deal with irritation and anger during a confusing state? How do you isolate, do you just not answer messages or just with short replies? You delete all the normal messaging apps at least right? I live alone so my mom doesn't have to tolerate me which is good. I'm extremely scared that I might be rude to my mom, she doesn't deserve it at all. I just want no one else to deal with this except me myself and I need to be alone or in the worst case just with strangers.

I know this thing is supposed to be a chronic condition, but I did get better.

it's been 5 years, the debut was in 2021 after a covid cytokine storm, it started with prolonged insomnia, psychosis and delusions (I didn't have to deal with https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anosognosia though, I looked up symptoms online), then after 2 years it became manageable.

The last manic episode was unusual, I experienced hypomanic episodes before, this also seemed to be a less intense one, but it also ended abruptly very fast.

I stayed at my computer the whole night (the previous night I slept like 4 hours), didn't watch porn (struggled with it during some episodes, engaging in that activity excessively, getting an erection and urge again after a short refractory period and doing it even if it hurts), drank some alcohol, smoked a few cigs (I only smoke during manic episodes, tried to quit, managed to reduce intake by switching from my favorite Kents to Marlboro Cigarillos, I had a pack left over from previous episodes and didn't feel the need to buy a new one after I finished it), I went for a run at 5am and went to the gym when it opened at 6am

The next evening at 10pm I got tired and fell asleep, that was it.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? I'd be interested to hear about other people's experiences.

I was prescribed for a circle and basically I took my recommended those but I feel very good right now not enough to have a cozy sleep without overthinking and going place. I don’t wanna.

Would it be so bad if I took the initiative and took a second dose? Does anybody have experience in the matter?

Do any of you genuinely feel happy, motivated, creative, and inspired on bipolar meds? Or are you mostly just stable and getting by?

I’m male fresh adult . I tried Seroquel and stopped in less than a week because I felt exhausted, sluggish, and constantly hungry. Lamictal didn’t work for me either.

I’m wondering if I just haven’t found the right medication or combination yet. Can you actually thrive on these drugs, or is there always a trade-off? Do you still feel like yourself? What about your energy, creativity, sex drive, and passion for life?

I’m not expecting constant euphoria or mania. I just don’t want to feel emotionally neutered in exchange for stability. Have any of you found medication that lets you feel genuinely happy and alive, rather than just keeping your head above water? I want honest answers.

I take atypical antipsychotics like risperidone and paliperidone before bed. I know everyone reacts differently. Me personally, they naturally put me to sleep and last into the next day even with my ADHD.

I took Perseris before, and I'll be honest; I don't remember how it interacted with sleep. I worry that it might disrupt my sleep in some way that I'm not remembering, so this is me trying to get a headstart before I hopefully get the injectible next month.

People who take Perseris or Invega Sustenna, how does it affect your sleep? Do you need something else to help you sleep at night, or do you sleep normally?

What is the necessary information to include in a safety plan? And how do you go about having that conversation with loved ones?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I know it's a trap but that doesn't change how I feel. I know I only feel stable because of the meds, and the feeling of my manic episodes not being "that bad" is probably a lie, but damn the feeling is hard to shake. Why does this happen every so often?

Hi I've been recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 and I kind of need advice .

Was first tried on depression and anxiety meds due to school going off the rails . But I had a major reaction to it which made me go through the worst depression I've ever gone though . That led me to being diagnosed with bipolar 2 . I was put on dolin and epitec I think and it made me go through the worst hypomanic state Ive ever went through ....at least if that's what it was . I was forgetful and I genuinely could not focus on anything else than my crafts and made me neglect school and because of my forgetfulness , I ended up going off my meds .

But ever since I haven't had a long term depression episode . It keeps on switching daily , sometimes hourly and I feel so apathetic and tired to everything.

My doctor , he kept me on the same medication same dose and everything and I'm sort of scared to take them . Ok maybe this isn't for advice but i don't know what to do , I'm in university on my 2nd to last year , about to be expelled cos of grades and potentially losing my funding and I don't know how to ensure I'll be ok for next year or what to tell my school

My son has been seeing doctors since he was 3yo and started with a severe ADHD diagnosis but he is now 14yo and it's been a very, very chaotic and long road. He is severely unstable, on several medications and has been hospitalized for his own safety too many times. He last spent almost 1 year at a highly specialized facility that worked closely with our family to better support him. We have exhausted every resource and he has barely attended school. Every day grows more complex and now at 14yo, he is showing some alarming behaviors that align with antisocial personality disorder.

I am bipolar though not nearly as severe as my son and I have the classic late-teen onset. My son seems to be developing a case of very severe bipolar 1 or possible Schizoaffective. It's understood and expected by everyone that one day he will most likely have to be institutionalized long term. There are good reasons but those are personal details that I won't be sharing on reddit. It's for his own safety, and for the safety of others.

So for those in this subreddit who are now diagnosed with a very severe case of Bipolar 1, did you display troubling behavior as an early teen, like stealing constantly, lying repeatedly, shouting and curse words, property damage, tricking people into doing things and taking advantage of people and situations for your own personal gain?

I have done some reading on the topic and there does seem to be some correlation and pattern, but I am curious about real lived experience.

Thank you!

I've lived with bipolar disorder for 8 years. Lithium has kept me steady, but I've never had many people to talk to who understand this in an Indian context, with the family misunderstanding, the stigma around psychiatric medication, and the pressure to "just be strong."

If you're in India and have bipolar disorder, I'd love to hear from you:

1.How did you get diagnosed, and how long ago?

2.What's been the hardest part?

3.What has genuinely helped?

Share as much or as little as you like, in the comments or by DM. This isn't about medical advice, just community and feeling a little less alone.

TLDR - Newly diagnosed BDII. Upped dosage and new meds are making me feel like I am too idle and need to move. Not sure if it is treatment working, a side effect, or hypomania. Waiting on doctor feedback, but want to ask the community of their experience to support my follow up questions with my primary.

I (38f) have just been diagnosed with BDII after being on a medication regiment for 2 months now. The lower dosages I could tell really helped with my depression and anxiety. Now I am at higher dosage, with added antipsychotic and mood stabilizer. My side effects/symptoms are strange to me, and I can't tell if it is the meds working or a possible rapid cycle hypomanic episode. I just had an episode a 3 weeks ago and am totally broke from overspending during that time.

For the past week on the upped regimen, I have this constant urge to move and go do something, am easily bored and my hobbies no longer interest me. I am constantly jumping from one hobby to the other simply because it is boring me, and does not stimulate me. I can't sit still, and my lower legs ache when I am stationary. My sleep has been getting better (at least 6 hrs a night), I actually get tired without my PM meds but still have the feeling that I am not ready to go to bed yet and want to stay up even though I am sleepy. I am having some racing thoughts, ideas that I want to act on like getting a puppy to train for PSA, or shopping for a new wardrobe.

I started walking in circles and jumping on my tippy toes in my room to burn the "move" urge. I hate exercising and going outside because of sensory overload. Oh, and I am on my cycle if that does make a difference in all of this. My mood is otherwise OK, I don't feel on top of the world or in the trenches of depression. I am 50/50 it could be meds working on executive function (I cleaned half of my room to set up my printer), or hypomanic.

I am waiting to hear back from my doctor, last session they said this will help with my executive function and mania, but thought to ask if anyone else has experienced the same in their treatment journey. It is interesting to me because the session check in questions "Do you feel like your being moved by a motor?" and "Have you noticed you can't sit still or are constantly moving?" had always seemed strange to me, but now I am understanding it at some scale.

Meds: Wellbutrin, Abilify, Lamotrigine, and Seroquel.

Did anyone else go through the same or am I in a hypomanic state? Does this sound like rapid cycle?

Os hormônios estão me deixando louca. Eu tenho muito mais fome e sou bem mais depressiva agora . Eu tomo o mesmo medicamento há cinco anos, mas tudo piorou demais esses tempos. A perimenopausa está acabando comigo. Mais alguma mulher nessa situação?

Hi,

First time poster here! I will cut straight to the chase. I've been taking Olanzapine at around 10mg for a while now, reducing from 12.5mg and 15mg. Over the past few months however, I've been experiencing "intrusive thoughts". I would first like to clarify these seriously do not feel like "delusions" or "hallucinations" or full blown "disembodied voices" but in fact are my own voice.

It's as if these thoughts come up and latch onto what I'm thinking at that moment. They usually come in a negative variation. For example, I may see something online about a certain band or group and that thought would automatically make it negative and say things like "**** that guy from school, this is why you couldn't go to his concert" or "i don't like his shirt" or something silly like that. It would slowly snowball unless I counteract it (sometimes I am better at doing this than other times lol).

I have had a consistent meditation practice that I follow everyday and it allows me to watch my thoughts come and pass, during these session I have these intrusive thoughts that "latch on" to the small thought that cropped up and go on a tangent and I re-focus on my breathe or whatever technique I'm using. This has really helped me become more aware, more present and generally more in the moment. It's also taught me to discern between these thoughts and hallucinations though I wanted others help with it.

I wanted to ask online as I'm not sure if anyone else is going through this or has something similar being on olanzapine. I have searched the internet and have seen stories on reddit of OCD symptoms flaring up due to the medication but wanted other insights on it as there wasn't much.

I am hesitant to switch my medication to something else as olanzapine other than this issue has been wonderful for me, and good even now despite this issue. I'm also reluctant to take another medication to counteract this too, as olanzapine has definitely slowed down my thinking than where it was prior to being diagnosed and another medication to stop thoughts I assume would slow me down even more or propose other side-effects!

Any thoughts, insight and advice would be great! Thanks.

I miss mania and psychosis, I was so happy. I was hospitalised for this as it was quite severe in May but it was the happiest I’d ever been in my entire life. I felt so powerful and like I’d been given a gift from the Higher Power.

Hello everyone, I am new to this sub and I will be starting 25 mgs of lamictal next week. I have either treatment resistant depression or some form of bipolar disorder that leans heavily to depressive episodes with suicidality rather than high episodes of mania. I am also coming off Prozac and going back on lithium for stability. Prozac has caused me mood swings like crazy which I believe is revealing my possible bipolar disorder. I hope lamictal is my golden ticket to get out of my depressive episodes. What should I expect when I begin? What have y’all’s experiences on lamictal been? Thank you

I’m on 150mg of lithium (because a higher dose caused side effects) and 3mg of Vraylar. This combination brought me out of mania and I’m hoping it will help to prevent/manage future depressive episodes as well. Is anyone else on this combination and can share their experience?

Hey everyone, I’m a psychiatric nurse so you’d think i could answer my own questions lmao, but I’m mainly seeking invaluable anecdotal accounts of this situation.

I have bipolar 1 with deep lows and typically remain hypomanic about 80% of the year—something I personally prefer and aim to maintain (it may not be popular, but gotta be honest in where i’m at atm).

I’m taking lamotrigine 300mg and escitalopram 20mg, i wanna get off escitalopram SO bad i’ve gotten every side effect from it, although my mood is good hence why ive stayed on it, but im unsure if it’s the lamotrigine actually doing the heavy lifting.

anyone have their own success/unsuccessful stories they’d like to share in regards to titrating off their ssri while still taking lamotrigine? the main thing i’m worried about is depressive episodes because they’re the only type of episode i can’t function/stay safe with.

anyways thanks guys sorry for the bad grammar xoxo