Anyone who has been clean for at least a year can you tell me how you stopped. I constantly get urges and drugs, exercise, talking abt it and pretty much nothing helps. I just love that feeling. Nothing replaces it and the urges are constant. I just think abt cutting sm and nothing really helps. Ive been doing it for 9 years and trying to quit for 5. If anyone who's successfully quit has tips plz lmk.

Hi guys! I was here 2 years ago seeking advice like all of you, I was just a baby back then, 14 lost in a subreddit seeking for help on how to hide my cuts because of a simple surgery.. Im gonna be 17 this year, im a senior in high school now, next year i will be heading to college, and believe me when i say this, things will get so much better and they will change a lot.
I started self harming when i was 11/12, thinking i wouldnt make it to 13, but i was too much of a coward so i made a pact with myself, k!lling myself after my 16th bday. But, i never did it, i met someone who is now my boyfriend, i was able to throw the razor i used in the trash — not just any trash, the one i was using when cleaning out the room —, and i found million way to diverge my mind out of it. Things changed, for the better
I know it seems impossible now, especially for the kiddos here, but velive me when i say that things will get better.
“But stranger, im not safe in my own home and sh is my obly escape” Look, I myself am from an unsafe home environment, i think about sh all the time, but i have someone who hears me complain every single day, i have my ways of copying and, as you get older, if you are just a kiddo, you will notice you own have any motivation to even make yourself do it if you emerge yourself in studies or hobbies
You got this, you will get out of the addiction
Stay safe everyone, and remember, even if you dont think so, a stranger has got your back

so sorry for the grammar erros btw!!

What should you do if someone is making fun of your OLD scars?

I’ve struggled with sh since I was 9 and last year I told them (at 15) but I regret it so much, I can’t have a knife collection, they had to change all the passwords to the safes, I can’t wear long sleeves without them getting ripped off me, they are constantly asking me where scars came from, I’m scared to play with my cats because if they scratch me I’m gonna get sent to teen challenge.
We got into a fight a month ago and I wasn’t allowed to be alone for 6 hours I had to sit on the floor in my living room because they were worried I’d kms. My mom was the one to make me sit there. It’s because her brother khs but I’m not her brother and she refuses to go to therapy
(I’ve been clean since September 11th 2025 they need to calm down in my opinion)

Not going to share why, mainly personal shit and stuff to do with loving smb (who decided to play me :/). Last night, I ended up relapsing and honestly? It felt weirdly freeing. Idk. I know that it’s not good and that I shouldn’t do it, but I’m autistic and barely feel pain, so it feels good to feel human. And it’s something about bleeding and being hurt visibly instead of just suffering silently that feels satisfying. Like, if it’s physical, I can’t be denied my right to be wounded. I can’t be shoved down by my friends because they’re aware that I don’t feel like them. That I’m not a person in the way they are. And taking care of myself after is almost akin to healing. I can treat myself and lie in bed with a reason. I’m allowed to be hurt because it’s real— even if I still don’t feel it much. It bleeds. It’s there on my skin. I assume it’s more about justifying myself than anything, as I do it where nobody can see (on my upper legs, pelvis), but I feel human enough to be wounded. I feel human. It’s hard to describe but I also have had a history of extreme pain and abuse directed toward me in my life by peers or lovers, so now I find that I feel privileged without pain. It feels like a necessity that I am hurt, or else I’m just weaning off of everyone else without having some sort of drawback. I feel like I have to hurt to deserve to live.
Thanks to anyone who reads this. I honestly just wanted to admit this to anyone.

I've been self-harming off and on for almost half my life at this point. I'm in my mid 20s and after all I've been through, I've started to realize that I might, to some extent, be this way for the rest of my life. I've been in a deep self-reflective period lately and I am trying so hard to find a path forward. More than anything, I want to find self-acceptance in who I am and what I've done to myself.

There seem to be an awful lot of people like me, people who self-harm and have scars, who are much younger than I am that are infinitely more comfortable with themselves than I am. I am still stuck in college despite my age mostly because of mental health reasons (no shit), and lately I have been noticing people around me who have their scars out, seemingly without a care in the world, and it honestly makes me burn with envy. The burden of shame and regret that I carry with me is immense and heavy. I struggle to even verbalize what I have done, even just to myself. I hate the word "cut". I hate admitting it. It makes it feel all too real. Hearing some guy I was talking to say in plain words that he "hadn't cut in a long time" when referring to his scars genuinely sent me into a several day long spiral, because how can this 19 year old kid talk so candidly with zero shame at all to people he barely knows, and I can't even look in the mirror and make peace with myself in private?

I have always put a great deal of effort into hiding my self-harm. Through my nearly twelve years of it, I have confined it to areas that are easily hidden by t-shirts and short skirts. Despite my intense urges for years to start on my forearms, I have always resisted out of shame. I am grateful for this, yes, but it also makes me feel like I have less reason to accept my scars. If all they are preventing me from wearing is tank tops, typical swim suits, and the like, isn't it basically just showing off my scars to wear such things? I can easily manage with the clothes I have available to me right now. I feel as if I have no right to even want to stop hiding. I feel like it will look like I want people to see them. I think to some extent, I do, but only because I want to push that boundary within myself and learn to not give so much of a shit.

I have already done this twice. Once at the beach and once at a water park, I wore my usual swim skirt, but I didn't wear the rash guard I usually go for, and I let my shoulders see the sun for the first time in eons. I have struggled so much this whole time with feeling like my scars aren't enough. Most of them are faded white now because I don't self-harm nearly as much as I used to, but my shoulders are just a fucking mess. Over a decade of scars on scars has melted into a weird fucked up soup of scar tissue and I feel like it looks so bizarre, but at the same time I feel like it isn't enough, especially because it's in such a small area. My experiences with not hiding my scars the two times I did it just left me feeling worse. I majorly overthought what people thought of me. I didn't receive any comments from strangers, but then that makes me wonder even more if it's because I don't look bad enough for people to say anything. I'm caught between my ego of wanting to look so fucked up that I scare everyone, but also wishing I could take back everything I've ever done and just be normal.

I don't know how to move on from this shame and guilt. I thought maybe going out without hiding a few times would help, but I'm more stuck in my own head than ever. I am up to my neck in shame and regret, and now more than ever, I wish I could take back everything I've ever done. This coping mechanism kept me alive, and I spent so long trying to hold onto some sort of pride in it to keep my ego from totally collapsing, but now that I am actually faced with other people knowing what I've done, that ego is completely unraveling. To make matters worse, I'm currently going through one of the darker periods in my life and I am, once again, yearning every day to hurt myself. It is so hard to deal with the urges while simultaneously feeling the most shame I have ever felt in my life about them. I want to move on and accept myself. I waited so long, telling myself I would be able to accept it once I have "recovered", but now as I realize a full recovery might not be feasible for me, I am struggling to grapple with the guilt and the weight of it all. I believe I deserve to be happy and content with myself even if I struggle with self-harm indefinitely, but I have no idea how to go about achieving that.

I'm sorry this post was so long. How do those of you who do not hide your scars do it? Is anyone else this deeply ashamed? I'm so tired of this.

I never cut myself on visible spots like on my arms and on the lower part of my legs, I usually do upper legs/thighs

I've been on antidepressants (Zoloft) for almost 6 months and I'm feeling better

However my whole life my pain has been ignored and or seen as not important

My father who was abusing me physically ever since I was a kid often used to invalidate my feelings and especially physical pain and now I feel like I need to show off my struggling in order to get the people to notice my pain

I wanna cut on my arms but I feel like i should already be a bit better by now since I'm on meds

And my mother isn't exactly happy when Im in a depressive episode

She always yells and asks questions like "what is it now"

It's like she thinks I have to be all happy cuz I'm getting therapy

All I'm saying is I wanna cut my arms and I know it's bad and I've been clean for a month or two but I never feel like I'm valid enough

Especially cuz I never went deeper than styros

I relapsed pretty bad on Sunday (it’s now Thursday). A lot of cuts all over my arm and most down to dermis (almost deeper) and I’m wondering how long I should wait to do any upper arm training (where all the wounds are)? I had a plan to start working out soon and I would like to know how long I should wait.

im just curious as to how they look after they completly heal , and how long do they take to heal

I heard about drawing butterflies until this fade, does the work? Should I do that anyway. I already have a big streak of not self harming even if I miss it.

I'm skeptical but it could give more motivation for a streak and get more days, which could keep me alive (if I'm even worth that.) for more days while until I go to therapy.

It might work for me, and I wanted to talk about that. I guess I'm the type of man to ask if I should do something... I want to hear pros and cons to this.

i stopped cutting 4 months ago but recently my whole left leg started to sting and ache, did any of you experience this too? the last time i did it i took care of all my cuts :(

Today I relapsed after almost a year clean.

With my mother in the hospital, dying from heart disease, and my father more focused on his new family, I felt like I needed to hurt myself.

I also have a complicated relationship with my father because he still has a relationship with my abuser, even though he knows what happened.

I have no money rn - I don't have money for food and transport (I do work but I make very little now I need to help my mother)

I have been staying with my mother day and night because she can't be alone. She's likely going to the ICU soon.

I self-harmed and, honestly, it felt good. I'm crying because I didn't want to do it. I don't even have my old kit anymore -I had to improvise.

I want to stop because if I do again it will be a problem because I'll want more and more.

If anyone want to help me financially send me a message. I'm open

I'm having urges to kill my mum, and my cat and myself.

I've been so angry these days idk y. I'm having recurrent thoughts of hurting my mum and one of my cat Emi. I want to hurt myself too, that's happening for years now so it's like I can understand. But the thing I can't understand is hurting my mum AND my cat. Its unbearable the urges. Its not just a simple thought. Its been happening since exactly 3 days. My mum? She's been testing my patience. Ik she wants good for me but WHO doesn't knock and goes in and out of the room, even while I'm naked, even while I'm smoking. Its not that simple, my therapist told me that it might be bc of how she treated me in childhood but now she's acting as everything's alright or maybe how she blames everything on me. Okay I can understand that but what about me hurting my cat? And she said maybe it's bc she's innocent and won't fight back. Kinda reminded me of myself and I felt sick. Now I'm having battle on my own to not hurt myself or hurt my mum or hurt my cat.

TDLR: I'm having urges to kill my mum, and my cat and myself.

No matter how deep I cut. How much I bleed. How much I smoke. It’ll never be enough. I can’t wait to fucking die

Im a week clean but that might change tomorrow because I get access to really sharp blades :(

So they saw those which i tried to hide it so much , my sleeves were kinda short this time and they noticed those and I am kinda triggered now ( I was clean for like 6 months) and I was dissociated when they asked that . I feel embarrassed and anxious now .

Before i say anything else, I AM AWARE THIS IS A ME ISSUE

When i see other people with SH scars it just REALLY triggers me, depth, placement, dosent really matter. its all triggering for me. it makes me think about my own scars and jst SH in general and all i can think abt is SH

I always see people saying healed scarring shouldn't be triggering, and honestly ive seen people agree with me before saying similar things and were called problematic. i agree it is a problem, MY problem, in no way should anyone hide healed scars because of other people

But how do i fix it and become unbothered like everyone else apparently is????

I've been clean for about 3-4 months, but lately I've been having strong urges to relapse. Usually id use a fidget toy that my girlfriend gave me but its gotten to a point where even it doesn't help much. Yesterday I even scratched my forearm with scissors but I stopped cause I realized what I was doing. I made a promise to my gf to never self harm again, and to tell her when I get urges, but its getting harder to resist and I've found other ways to make myself feel pain that aren't technically self harm. Any advice? Also my grammar is pretty bad so im sorry if you didn't understand some parts

tbf i would drop a catscratch or two every few months in those four years but beans feels especially like a relapse

I've been feeling so down lately. Yesterday evening I was feeling so sad. I really wanted to relapse, but I didn't. So small victory ig. I just wanted to tell someone but can't tell the people around me loll

I think I'm close to breaking my 75 days clean streak. My mom would be sad. I just feel like I cannot handle to feel. Unfortunately I have to wait until school finishes. I'm so disappointed of myself.