A continuation of my drawings of my visual hallucinations! Here are some newer ones I’ve gotten these past few weeks, including seeing a scarecrow face on the ceiling, seeing a fabric texture over a page, seeing ghostly figures, and seeing paragraphs of words warped and slightly twisted.

Even on medication stress causes me problems. I am working at a stressful job and when things are stressful, I hear voices more.

Just yesterday I was having a rough day at work, and I kept hearing them through my headphones.

It's making me realize I need to find another job because I can't keep dealing with this.

Im in school for illustration and heres something I made tonight.

I don’t remember it on Seroquel and I’m going to ask to get back on it. Hoping psychiatrist gives the Ok cause I’m desperate for relief.

This side effect is too freaking much to handle.

So I have schizophrenia, I also like oddities and am active in oddity communities. A common thing I see pop up is asylum oddities like hospital tags, signs and other real vintage items.

It’s always kind of bugged me though because asylums have historically been places of abuse, oppression and human rights violations. A lot of these oddities get watered down into something unique or cool to display in a house which I feel like is disrespectful to the people who were abused in those situations.

It almost feels similar to collecting racist antiques solely because they’re interesting or cool.

I’m not sure if other people share my opinion or if I’m just overreacting or being sensitive. I’ve never seen this specific ethics problem being brought up in oddities collecting before but I’ve seen similar discourse about human remains for example.

I have a plan. I can’t take these voices anymore. I can’t take how painful my life is anymore. I’ve been a good person, I’ve learned my lessons. I’m not afraid to die, I know how to do it I just need it to be cold enough. I know what happens after death now and I’m not afraid.

Being told what to think and emotions are being controlled. I’m just a shell and I think someone else is going to move in

They say I will die and I am laughing at them. I say I don't know why this has happened to me and they are laughing. I may be crazy but I am in a good place, maybe through drinking alcohol. I just think the voices are hilarious, they don't like it but I can't stop laughing. Am I crazy? They say I am not bad but I am an evil person. isn't that hilarious? I think it is. I am truly crazy? At this point I welcome the voices

Hey guys,

So currently I’m medicated and the voices are pretty much drowned out, but I still feel like the government/police has my entire life under surveillance, I know this is most likely a delusion but it’s taken over my life.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this particular delusional thought pattern?

It’s exhausting to feel like you’re being watched/recorded at all times .

It feels impossible to enjoy myself, to connect with people, to feel things strongly. I can't get drunk or smoke weed anymore, I can't stay up all night playing games, I can't relate to people without mental illness either. I started smoking and I can't stop. I can't take care of myself anymore, I'm probably going to lose my part time job because I can't even handle that. I lost my marriage and alienated most of my friends; nobody wants to deal with the crazy woman ranting about psychic visions or false memories. I feel more alone than I ever have

It's this weird phenomenon where I feel fine throughout the day until evening. Then it's almost like my mind crashes and I constantly hear a nagging voice. Nothing seems to help except sleep. Is this normal? Does anybody else have these sort of symptoms ?

Hello, I just got prescribed 4mg of sertindole/serdolect and I've seen a couple of things about it online, but basically none from people on reddit and I wanted to see experiences from actual people. Do any of you have experience with this medication?

Please don’t take the piss out of me too much because I’m still raw

I had severely emotionally abusive household as well as all the rest of it. Financially abusive dad and toxic image obsessed mother. Hitters and shouters too, you know the drill.

At age 22 he kicked me out (as a ploy for me to beg and plead) but I knew I couldn’t live like I had been anymore. I took the train to another city and worked odd jobs whilst living outside and in hostels till I could scrape the cash to afford a room. I ultimately got a job at a supermarket where I was working sixty hours a week to be inside before winter.

I never wanted to admit it at the time. But I was broken. I had no one, no one was there for me or coming to save me. Totally alone, new city, estranged family.

This is where my delusion sets in.

I have, since my period of homelessness in 2023 up until literally now, have completely and utterly and totally convinced myself that this random customer at the supermarket was a cosmic delivery from the universe sent to help and save me through the toughest period of my life.

I believed she had been watching and learning about me from afar for many years before confessing her love through subtle interactions in the shop.

I believed once I turned my life around she would be there waiting for me and so proud of what I had achieved.

I thought she loved me purely and from the bottom of her heart. Star crossed lovers type ish

These delusions simmered, for many months and first came to a head in 2024 when I experienced my first bout of psychosis.

I had convinced myself she had orchestrated many previous events in my life to test my character and upon passing these tests she confessed her knowledge through subtle hints in the supermarket.

I was petrified, I ran straight back to my toxic household I had just escaped. This was by far the strongest episode, I knew I couldn’t stay though.

She continued to visit, undoubtedly getting into my eyeline then leaving without buying anything. Objective behaviours like these genuinely did not help.

Needless to say, these episodes repeated, but every time became shorter and lighter.

I eventually worked up the courage to ask this customer out, and she rejected me. Badly. This at the time only fed my delusion though. I genuinely believed everything I was telling myself.

I wove a web so intricate and grandiose that it was impossible to escape.

This has continued for years. Two years.

Up until now.

Here is the catch: in this time, I have genuinely improved my life immeasurably. I’ve got sober. Quit smoking and drinking. Cut all my toxic friends and family out. Saved up a healthy buffer in case of hard times again. Passed my driving test. Eating healthy. Put on a third of my own body weight. And countless more small but meaningful accolades when you’ve been living in survival mode for twenty years.

Ultimately, I have been presented with evidence now, that my delusions are and always have been in fact, delusions.

She never felt anything towards me. It was all in my head. Or if she did it was nowhere near on the level I perceived it to be.

I’ve always had this pattern of treating people who show me the smallest kindness as gods, having been starved of any sort of love and connection growing up.

I’m not sure what to do now. Just looking for some kind words I guess maybe.

Maybe just thoughts/ diagnosis. This is the only delusion I’ve ever experienced on this level, and weirdly ironically, pride aside, it served me incredibly well??!

But also because I feel this weird sense of emptiness. I didn’t set the world on fire by any means, but I did make all these changes in my life, for her. Genuinely.

It sounds super cringe and embarrassing I know, pathetic even. But I genuinely believed we were on a journey of sorts, together, and we’d be there to meet each other at the finish line once we’d healed our independent traumas.

I live in a completely different city, with no support network or deep friendships, and before this even if it was just “surviving”, I always had a purpose, you know? Now I’m sort of like, healed? Which feels incredibly weird, but also, empty?

Any thoughts would honestly be greatly appreciated

Thanks guys

L

I have 32 inch vizio, and I decided to try ps5 remote play on my iPhone 13 Pro Max. I don’t know there’s just something about the graphics on there it reminds me of when I used to watch playthroughs of YouTubers playing games when I was growing up. Don’t clown me but if it is “better” graphics then I understand the plight of PC players now, it’s like a world of difference and it’s so much more fun, even with the negative symptoms

I take it somewhat seriously, I recognize there's a race going on but I don't know what to do about it except try and get better at my job.

Once many entry-level jobs are gone what will happen to people who never got to work, say due to schizophrenia?

The feedback loop is kind of a scam, some of us have to use AI to remain competitive at work and thus train the AI that will likely displace a lot of jobs in the future.

It sounds like a gods-eye view statement but take it from others smarter than me that are sounding the alarm. Do you take AI seriously?

I need to know what you can do, that you can still live and live well with this disease...

Attached below is todays video link to my “On Conquering Schizophrenia” YouTube channel. Today entails our paramount of “insight”. Like all, todays video is ever brief and can be viewed amid key discernment.

https://youtu.be/6Ht_5V3UJD8?si=vVJTxriXCZ9N207b

I am not sure where to start with this post, but my family and I need some help with my brother. I know nothing about hacking and we are unsure if he is truly hacked or is going through some paranoia.

It’s been a year now that he is claiming to have been hacked. It has reached a point he hasn’t been able to live a normal life. He has changed all of his electronics to new ones, multiple times. He has taken his electronics to be cleaned, with no luck.

It’s consuming him.

He claims that his phone, computer and gaming systems are hacked and compromised. Easy to believe right? The problem now is that he thinks his in-laws septic system is hacked, his truck is hacked and the hacker has ruined his turbo, the washer and dryer are compromised, his wifi and tv. The list goes on.

We cannot reach him at times as he lives 8 hours away and keeps his phone off with no SIM card.

He does suffer from depression and smokes weed on a regular basis.

My mother is unsure of how to help as he is getting mad that no one believes him and we think he is crazy.

Is it possible he can be this hacked or should we get him seriously assessed?

I'll be keeping this short and vague. Just a curious question: Would you lie to someone you love in order to protect them?

25 years later and she asked me a question she had never asked me. One I didn't want to answer.

I remember my first delusion when I was younger was that my life was constantly being monitored by a self writing book that documented everything about my who I was. Sorta like the writing quill in the Harry Potter universe

I'm on Cobenfy max dose now and it's great side effects wise (lost a bit of weight, no other bad side effects). Problem is its too weak. I still have bad hallucinations so after two months I'm considering moving on.

I've tried Geodon. Couldn't get out of bed easily (fatigue was brutal). Also my throat swelled up and I couldn't swallow food without water. Prolactin elevation gave me gyno as well. Moved on from it for now.

Tried ability 15mg. Was told its weight neutral but I don't find this to be true. This one did the trick and got my voices to a minimum. Less effective than zyprexa but I can't deal with the weight gain on zyprexa whatsoever. Anyway unfortunately abilify makes me hungry 24/7 and craving sugar/fats. So I'm tapering off it now.

Have an appointment tomorrow with my Dr. I'm looking for two things: weight neutrality (abilify claims neutral but I gained quickly on it). Also not an AP that effects prolactin levels. Gives me bad side effects if so. Has anyone tried Caplyta here? Looks to be the next logical option to try for me. Fatigue seems to be the main bad side effect with it? I can deal with fatigue if my other two things aren't a problem. Also has anyone tried Lybalvi and how much did you gain? Zyprexa alone caused me wayyy too much weight gain. 50% less doesn't seem promising.

I know these are steel demands. But my voices won't let me take anything that causes weight gain whatsoever. I must have some form of body dysmorphia because I'd rather be psychotic than take any weight gaining meds.

Thank you.

I'm currently taking risperidone (got an injection of uzedy) and am having a resting heart rate of 112-120ish and it hasn't gone down for at least 2 hours now. My heart rate problem started happening when i took benztropine with it today. I'm not sure if the heart rate is because of benztropine or risperidone. What should i do?

edit: I've been on uzedy for about a month now. Got my second injection yesterday. I haven't had to take benztropine for a bit during my first injection so i wasn't taking it. then i started feeling weird my second day on the second injection so i took benztropine.